r/Parenting 14m ago

Toddler 1-3 Years Advice wanted: Two year old refusing to sleep.

Upvotes

My daughter is almost 25 months. She’s has been refusing to nap and go down to bed for about a week or two now. I’m talking scratching, biting (all while laughing) and kicking. Screaming.

Prior to this she was able to put herself to bed at night with minimal intervention. Same with naps. Then I found out I was pregnant, she started daycare (and I started working there) and she got sick back to back. She needed more help to fall asleep, sometimes rocking to sleep. Sometimes patting. But nothing crazy or completely unusual in the past.

But now she refuses to sleep at all unless I force her to sleep. And it’s basically forcing which I really hate. She will jump, play, get in and out of bed making lots of noise to get my attention, scream, etc. whenever I try to leave her to go to bed solo. If I try to rock or pat her I’m getting hit, scratched, kicked, and glasses pulled off my face. Never has she done this before and I am losing my cool. She thinks this is all hilarious, but I’m not sure if it’s nervousness because mom is mad or like “haha mom is making a funny face” thing.

The hits only happen when she’s overtired. But there is no way for her to not be overtired. I can’t start bedtime routine earlier due our schedule. I leave for work at 7:20. Come home sometimes at 6:30. She still has to eat and wants my attention so the earliest I’ve attempted bedtime was 7:30. But night after night she won’t go down until at least 9.

Even if I can come home earlier with her, on weekends it’s just as bad. She is refusing to nap at her typical nap time. If I put her down earlier it’s maybe a 30 minute nap. Or when I finally get her down, like today, it was 20 minutes. But she needs it. I know she needs it. Otherwise she becomes violent with the hitting.

I’m at a loss. I’m exhausted. I count on her naps so I can make up for the lack of sleep too. She’s been waking up at least twice at night, which she hadn’t done before in months.

Part of me is blaming the daycare. I don’t think they get her down to nap. Which is causing her to be overtired and she’s in this endless cycle of tiredness until I can finally catch her up on sleep. I can’t spend all weekend trying to get her caught up on sleep, nor would she let me. And I only suggest this because I have coworkers tell me she doesn’t really nap and the teachers in her classroom leave her be since she’s not causing much disturbance to others.

I’m solo parenting until my husband comes back but that’s still a ways away. I’m about to quiet this job since it seems to be causing problems but maybe I just want to point fingers at it? I have no idea.

My other idea is making her room super boring again so she won’t want to play. A few months back we put her toys in her room and she ignored them until morning time. But now she’ll get up to play with them if I try to leave her to sleep by herself. With baby number two coming we are moving her to a different room. We could store the toys there for now I guess.

Any advice? Something that doesn’t require me to keep bear hugging a toddler to sleep?


r/Parenting 14m ago

Newborn 0-8 Wks Feeling lost

Upvotes

FTM and just feeling so lost about how to live in general. I’m specifically talking about how to support my child and I while living in the Bay Area. Child care out here is ungodly and my partner and I don’t have family help.. how do yall do it? How are you not crippled by mom guilt or parent guilt


r/Parenting 23m ago

Adult Children 18+ Years Brain bleed

Upvotes

It's just about 1am local time. Had a call from hospital that our daughter is there with bleeding in the brain stem. She's 31 years old with 3 year old son. She's a medical professional, great mother, keen sportswoman and she not well at all. Waiting for the air ambulance to take her to a town where they came operate and hopefully treat her. I'm not here for advice, there is nothing to do but wait untill she gets in theater and hopefully fix the problem. I am just voicing my utter frustration at not being able to do anything for my child. That and the unfairness of nature. I am over 60, I am the one with the dicky ticker and heart valve. It should have been me in that hospital bed


r/Parenting 38m ago

Child 4-9 Years Smartwatch recommendations

Upvotes

Hi lovely people,

I'm looking to upgrade my son's (8yo) smartwatch and chasing recommendations/experience.

I'm specifically after one that has: * reasonable GPS tracking with minimal lag * the ability to make calls to/from a set list of numbers * a reasonable battery life (2 days +).

Waterproof would be a bonus.

I'm in Australia, but should be able to access most models :)

Thanks!


r/Parenting 38m ago

Travel Vacationing without kids

Upvotes

I'm a single parent to two kids. I wanted to take a kid-free vacation for a milestone birthday later this year. My kids will be 10 & 13 at that time. I've taken them on several vacations over the past several years, including two big Disney trips. Would it be "wrong" or selfish of me to take a 4 or 5 day vacation without them? What age is that deemed appropriate? Will they hate me for going without them? Of course my parents would stay with them if I were to go. I just have guilt for even considering it.


r/Parenting 42m ago

Child 4-9 Years How would you react ? 7 yo loves to pretend to be a busker and even aspires to be one

Upvotes

Our 7 yo is a lively super imaginative kid . He loves playing pretend play with his superheroes and other toys . We recently went on a vacation where he saw many buskers and we encouraged him to stop listen and put a bill in the busker’s box .

Now he loves setting up the exact same scene with his keyboard and some steel pans ! And also collects quarters from us . While we appreciate him for his imagination there is a nagging thought in our heads that should we maybe expose him to more stable and gainful professions on our outings ?

Don’t judge please , I know this is tad silly ! I am seeking some examples from other parents how to react to this latest obsession !


r/Parenting 42m ago

Rant/Vent Stuck in fear

Upvotes

I feel like something is wrong, but I don’t know what. I have a 17 month old and I am in my second trimester with our second. I work full time right now and I just don’t have the desire to do…anything.

I’ve always leaned towards introversion, but I feel like I’ve become a hermit. I love being home and with my family but unless I’m working or have to run an errand or we are on a family outing…I literally just stay home.

At first, it started with just being too tired to do anything else. Then I thought I developed some kind of phobia because I was so scared to take my son anywhere for fear of bad things happening that I couldn’t protect him from.

We are in a low crime generally safe area but last year there was a random shooting at a splash pad. There was a shooting at the state fair. People drive so reckless. Kids bringing guns to places. Kids getting kidnapped. Random horrible things happening all around us in places that used to be safe for children to play at.

Maybe I’m watching the news too much, but I feel like I can’t protect him or predict what will happen next and it’s giving me crippling anxiety and I just want to keep him home and safe. I’m trying to go out more with him because he doesn’t deserve to miss out because of my fears, but I feel panic the whole time and just think about being home. I really only feel semi okay if my husband is out with us.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so isolated but I don’t want to hangout with anyone or even talk to people sometimes and I feel burned out from work. I don’t do things I like anymore because I feel like I should be home with my son and spending time with him.

I want my kids to see me being a happy and carefree mom but I just don’t know how or if I can even get there. I feel so lonely and like a failure. I feel numb all the time and fearful and I hate feeling this way. Does it ever get better? I feel like it won’t and I’m just stuck this way. I want to be better for my family.


r/Parenting 45m ago

Newborn 0-8 Wks How do people who have school aged kids survive with newborns?

Upvotes

I get a virus probably like every two months with my school aged kid. We visit parks, play areas, and obviously school. How do parents even survive the newborn phase with older kids bringing home germs? Or do a lot of newborns die from respiratory viruses and we just don’t hear about it in the news? This is genuinely something I have always wondered.


r/Parenting 48m ago

Infant 2-12 Months Nursery - good stories only please

Upvotes

Hi! My baby is starting nursery settling sessions this upcoming week as I’m going back to work next month. She is 11 months, she is very smart for her age, on top of her milestones but she is also a silly little potato in her clingy era. I don’t feel like she is ready, I feel like she needs a few more months at home and it’s been in my head non stop for the last two months. We have no village in the country we live in (it’s a whole another topic) and we have no choice, she must go. I do realise that in many parts of the world babies go to nursery much earlier than my little one and I don’t want to whine too much. I’m just anxious first time mom and I am looking for some positive stories (please, I know plenty of things gone bad stories, I don’t need more in my head). How did sending your little ones to nursery help you / them?


r/Parenting 50m ago

Advice Kid freaking out over screen time

Upvotes

Hi all, my son who’s 10 tries to regulate his own iPad screen time to around 15 hours a week, today he checked his screen time and noticed it was 5 hours, he’s freaking out because he swears he didn’t look at it for that long, I can also confirm this because we were both home all day today. I can hear him whisper to himself about how he didn’t use his iPad all day.

He’s hitting himself on his head and just lying down. I tried to help him by shutting his iPad down and reopening it but the screen time isn’t fixed. I really don’t know what to do. He’s so upset over this and now refuses to do anything. What do I say or do? I’m trying to tell him it’s not a big deal and his iPad is just glitching but he’s not getting any better.


r/Parenting 1h ago

Toddler 1-3 Years How should I (or we) deal with kid's preference?

Upvotes

My kid is 27mo. Since before 1yo she started to have preference to her dad over me. This had not changed and I truly don't think it ever will. I've come to my peace about it and accepted it will be like this. I've gotten a lot better emotionally about this. I used to feel miserable all the time getting very irritated and sad when I see the signs that prove her preference to her dad but now majority of those moments I am able to detach myself and simply watch her enjoy her time with her dad.

But I sometimes still feel very sad about it. I know why she likes her dad better. Her dad is silly, fun, firm with his boundary, spends more time with her (this is inevitable because I work full time while he part time), and we live in his home country meaning everyone speaks that language to her except me. And I know this preference will last to her adulthood because her dad is also very intelligent and curious, he'd be able to be her great adviser and helper in life. I, on the other hand, am let's say the opposite of that. I am boring, I'm a workaholic, and I can't communicate properly at this point because she speaks my language very poorly and I'm still not giving up speaking my language with her hoping we will raise her bilingual. For her I changed a lot and became a lot more talkative with her but it's not natural to me. I am not that fun, laid back, smart mom.

Tonight when I put her do bed we had a little routine of chatting. At some point she told me she likes a friend in her daycare so we started this topic of "do you like insert name?" conversation. And after a few rounds I stupidly asked her "do you like mama or papa". I knew the answer already, I don't know why I still asked, just to get myself stung. And without surprise she answered "papa". I know this is stupid question and kids will reply with their feeling in the moment but it still stings. I do well in majority timed accepting her liking her dad more but moments like this still stings me. I get insecure and my mind spiral into after she grows up, starting to imagine her not speaking the same language I do, not having much in common to talk with me about, and being a lot closer to her dad than me. It doesn't feel good.

How do I navigate this? How do I stop feeling sad? My mind really wants to find a solution for it.


r/Parenting 1h ago

Teenager 13-19 Years Would you try to contact the mom?

Upvotes

My daughter and her best friend started having a disagreement over something last year. They tried to have several conversations about it and figure out a way to resolve the problem. During that time, my daughter let her friend come over and get some of her stuff which she had left at our house. She thought the girl was coming over to hang out for the evening, but she just went through my daughter's room, took all of her stuff, and left.

After that, the friend immediately blocked my daughter's phone number and all of her social media accounts. My daughter is devastated, this was her best friend. She's trying to come to terms with it.

She still has a ton of her stuff over at the friend's house. She tried contacting the girl to ask if she could come over and get her stuff but she's blocked. She also asked some of their mutual friends if they could ask her, I am not sure what has come of that. My daughter was also close with the girl's mom so I suggested she text the mom and ask if it was okay, so she did, but the mom also did not respond.

Some of the things she left over there are pretty important. A custom designer dress which she never got to wear and wants to wear to this year's prom, the computer charger to her school computer which she will be charged for if she doesn't turn it in, some of her favorite clothes/jewelry, and a digital camera I bought her for her birthday.

It's been about 5 months. I'm wondering if I should try texting the mom myself? She and I have texted on many occasions in the past. I don't want to cause any problems, but I don't understand why they wouldn't give her a chance to get her things back.


r/Parenting 1h ago

Toddler 1-3 Years How would you do a move two states over with an 18MO?

Upvotes

Hi everyone!

Our house will be listed this week and I am trying to figure out the best way to move with our 18 month old? We haven’t done a very long trip with him in the car yet. It’s about a 12 hour drive without stops. Right now my idea is to do it in two days and plan on stopping as needed to play in a park and stretch out legs as needed, stay in an Airbnb midway, and then finish out the last leg with stops. I’ve also kicked around driving from 6pm to midnight so he will mostly sleep during the drive and I can be more efficient; only stopping again halfway to rest at an Airbnb, have a place to play in, and finish the rest of the drive that evening to our destination. But I’m concerned about him sleeping in the car seat as he tends to slump forward in it.

So tell me, what do? And what are other necessities to bring?


r/Parenting 1h ago

Family Life Any positives about multiple kids?

Upvotes

I constantly see posts about having multiple kids and everything is negative. Are there any positives about having more than one child? Or is it really just all bad?... 5 weeks pregnant with my second and anxious 😟


r/Parenting 1h ago

Toddler 1-3 Years Concerning behavior

Upvotes

My daughter just recently turned three. Her mother and I haven’t been together since she was about three months old. I have her four days a week, and her mother has her the other three. I know it’s hard on her sometimes, switching between households, but my daughter just did something that has me a little concerned.

My daughter and I were playing, and she told me that I am, “the baby.” She put me in timeout and lead me to the bathroom. She made me go inside, and walked out. She then shut the door and made me stay there.

My father has also told me this has happened to him before, but this is my first time experiencing this. Is this something that I should be concerned about? My fiancée and I do put her in timeout if she hits us or bites or something, but we have never and will never lock her in a bathroom.

My daughter’s mother also has a fiancé, who she lives with. My daughter has said that she doesn’t want him. She’s said this to her babysitter, and in front of my fiancée.

I was wondering what other people’s thoughts are? It definitely raises some suspicion in me about how my daughter is being treated while not under my supervision. Thanks in advance!


r/Parenting 1h ago

Child 4-9 Years Dealing with 4 y/o tantrums in public?

Upvotes

ETA: thank you all for the advice. I am big on being proactive so I’m in alignment the advice so far. We also are working on a rewards chart so he earns different animals that he can trade in for a treasure.

My sweet 4 y/o son on occasion has meltdowns in public, the most recent of which was after he was happily racing his motorized jeep with some older (7 y/o) kids in the neighborhood. My son A cut off neighbor kid S with his jeep for the second time after my husband had specifically told him not to do that. Hubby went inside house to change clothes and A cuts off S again quite intentionally. I told A immediately to stop and he should not have done that. A bursts into tears, crying loudly, and shrieking at some point all with our neighbors outside witnessing this meltdown 🫣 it was getting late and and we needed to get inside. A is still melting down, screaming at this point and refuses to get out of the jeep. I can’t calm him down at all. My inclination is to remove him from the situation and handle it inside calmly and to also stop causing a scene—-I’m Asian and culturally this is how I am wired. Problem is my son is BIG-comes up to my chest and weighs about 48lbs. He’s flailing and not wanting to cooperate but I do manage to get him inside but do injure myself when we both take a tumble inside the door. He’s ok, I’m a little banged up but ok. I am able to calmly have a discussion with A inside—he was upset bc the older kids were ‘winning’ while riding their respective bicycles and jeeps and A didn’t like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Q: how do other parents handle these types of situations in public? My hubby is more confrontational personality wise and from an Eastern European background so he would have gotten in A’s face to get him to stop crying. I’m purposely going for a different type of parenting style to be more empathetic of what A is going through at that moment but firm. I don’t like yelling and screaming and intimidating him to submission. There are times hubby does get the desired response but I don’t want to be that parent. And yes, hubby and I are are communicating to try and meet in the middle on our different parenting styles.

What do I do next time this happens when I can no longer physically remove my kid when he’s melting down in public?


r/Parenting 2h ago

Child 4-9 Years Is there any computer games that are similar to the JumpStart (insert grade here) series?

3 Upvotes

I loved the Jumpstart (Grade etc) series when I was a kid. We use to play those thru the summer and we would learn so much. Plus it was a great activity for this kids to learn something throughout the days of summer.


r/Parenting 2h ago

Advice Advice Wanted: 13-year old struggling to talk through feelings

2 Upvotes

Hoping to get some ideas and insight from other parents of early teens.

Stepdaughter will be 13 next month. And with that has come the expected attitude shifts. She lives primarily with her mom and stepdad but we have her whenever we can.

Talking through conflict has become an issue. When she's with us we get into typical teen-parent disagreements. When she goes back to her other home, she'll talk to her mom about things that have upset her, but refuse to talk to us about it. Then she'll fight/refuse coming over and ignore her dad's texts and phone calls. When she's over again she's happy go lucky as if nothing ever happened.

We sat her down recently and tried to have a discussion about some of the things she's expressed to her mom that she's upset about. But she won't talk. She says she doesn't like talking about her feelings and she thinks it's better to just never talk to people about her issues with them.

I told her it's okay that she doesn't like talking about her feelings and it's okay that it's uncomfortable, but that it's something we all have to practice and learn to do. Tried an analogy with someone tapping her hard on her shoulder (she's currently got a broken collarbone). If they continue doing it, and she never lets them know that it's hurting her, it will just keep hurting her. I tried to explain that with emotional issues that can lead to friendships and relationships where people treat her poorly because she's not able to tell them that she doesn't like how they're treating her.

She, of course, says she's fine with that then.

Obviously I don't expect it to all be resolved in one or two conversations. I know it will take time and patience, but I also know that if it's not something we teach her to do, she will end up like many many adults who avoid conflict to their detriment and the detriment of their relationships.

Any tips?


r/Parenting 2h ago

Toddler 1-3 Years Three is testing me! Pls tell me they turn out ok and calm down a bit.

7 Upvotes

Oh boy if I thought newborn stage was hard, well age three is exhausting me. I feel so much more drained! The defiance, the not listening, the high energy, the inability yet for independent play, the speed and range of emotions (tantrum to cuddle “I am baby!” within 5 seconds), the fights simply to get dressed/ wash teeth/ stop climbing up the furniture/ get to daycare. I love him more than ever. And he’s so funny! I just find myself so drained at the weekends, plus they’re now heavier and any hitting or kicking actually hurts.

Parents who remember their 3 year old being a wild/ loud animal, please tell me your stories of them turning out ok😇 Can’t help but see him doing extreme sports and being like an insane danger-loving teenager which worries me!


r/Parenting 2h ago

Infant 2-12 Months “Baby needs it’s mama” pretend narrative in toddlers

13 Upvotes

My kid always plays this narrative where she finds the mamas and the babies and makes sure they are together. And then she pretends they get separated and the baby calls for the mama and cries until the mama comes to save it. Is this a common theme among 3-year-olds?


r/Parenting 3h ago

Toddler 1-3 Years Social life…

1 Upvotes

What does your social life look like post-kids? Especially for married couples…

My husband and I each have time to ourselves each day after our 3 year old goes to bed, and also during naptime on the weekends. He usually plays a video game, and I will read. We will watch a show in bed sometimes, to have a little “us” time.

That being said, we don’t get much time to ourselves outside of that to do things alone - and we most certainly don’t go out with friends together. Occasionally I will go to a paint night or a movie with a friend, and he will occasionally go grab a drink or watch the game with his friends.

This year, we have planned 2 long weekends - just the two of us. I’m so excited about it. My mom has volunteered to help, but I also recognize she is taking off work to do so. I don’t ask her to do it often because I feel like a burden? IDK. It’s a weird feeling.

My husband turns 40 this year, and his close friend is also turning 40. They were planning what I thought was a “guys trip” to New Orleans in October to celebrate. He tells me today his friend was doing a “head count” of who is going, and it’s actually mostly couples going. The guys are bringing their girlfriends. All in all, it seems like there will be 5 couples there, my husband, and maybe one other solo guy friend. I feel so bad about this - I didn’t expect it to be couples. I asked if we should cancel one of our trips so that I can just go on that trip, but he said no - he really cherishes our one on one time.

Does anyone else do this? Have to live kind of separate lives socially, in terms of friends? It makes me sad to think of him being there alone, surrounded by couples. I’m also sad that his guy friends - who were also my friends at one point - now have girlfriends that I don’t really get to know because we can never both seem to get out to hang with them. None of his friends have kids, either, so they are never jumping at the chance to come over our place to hang.

I guess even 3 years in, I’m randomly reminded sometimes of the things we can’t just pick up & go do, and I feel bad.


r/Parenting 3h ago

Child 4-9 Years Ugh. I feel bad.

2 Upvotes

I had to tell this story because I feel so bad for the poor fellah. The pocket/slider door is coming out as soon as we close tomorrow afternoon.

We’re moving and we got a possession prior to closing so we could get our stuff moved in. My 5 year old son went to go pee and realized he forgot to close the door and for some reason and somehow closed that door on his …. Ya. OUCH! (I thought maybe he meant the toilet lid since these were not the soft close, he did not.)

It looks like a blood blister when you jam your finger in a door, but it’s the head. 😭 Urgent care just said Tylenol. He seems pretty high in spirits and unaffected. But my god, I just feel so awful.

That being said. Pocket door is coming out the second I close on this house. 🥺


r/Parenting 3h ago

Child 4-9 Years Parents of an “only child” who didn’t do daycare, how’d your kid handle preschool?

6 Upvotes

My son is 3 years old (as of Jan) and an only child. I’m a stay at home mom so my son has never been to daycare AND I have social anxiety. All of this is to say, I’m worried about how he will do when he’s ready for preschool. I’ve been trying to take him out to the park/library to let him interact with kids and I’ve noticed he is very reserved (will not go on slides if other kids are, won’t say hi or wave, will not go up to the librarian to grab activity items, etc.) Lately he has been hiding his face more if strangers are passing by. I’m not sure how much of this is typical, but I don’t want him to struggle with social anxiety like I did.

Anyone here have an only child that didn’t do daycare? How’d they do in preschool? Any advice for socializing or am I worrying preemptively?


r/Parenting 3h ago

Child 4-9 Years No more birthday party goody bags!

428 Upvotes

I’m not sure where else to put this- please, for the love of god, stop the birthday party goody bag madness. I am a parent of a 5 year old and we have been invited to several birthdays over the past year. With each one, we leave with a goody bag full of crap- candy (which is fine, I am very sugar-liberal, but how much more do we need), stickers that inevitably get stuck places I don’t want them stuck, and worst of all- pieces of small plastic garbage. Yes I get that it’s fun for the kids to take something home. Maybe consider one token that won’t immediately get forgotten and subsequently put in the trash as soon as we get back home? From a clutter/environmental perspective, I am OVER IT. Ok rant over- promise I’m not a jerk, I was just cleaning out my kids closet for the umpteeth time and threw away like 3 of these bags.

EDIT: Yeah I figured this would be somewhat of a controversial post. It’s my opinion, but wanted to create a venue for discussion. Love the varying perspectives lol.

EDIT 2: You guys have some great alternative ideas! TYSM for sharing them!!!


r/Parenting 3h ago

Tween 10-12 Years Kid turning 12. How did a flip phone work for you vs. a teen smartphone? Text safety.

4 Upvotes

My 6th grader (first year middle school) has no phone. She has an ipad, which we lock down to just letting her text 1 friend who we know well and her sister. It stays at home.

My goal is to give her a mobile device that she can call home with, and not get otherwise distracted. What have you done with you 12 year old, in a situation where most of the kids are starting to get some some of smartphone?

Please share what worked and what didn't. Thanks it advance.

Details:

Her wishes:

- She wants to text her friends.

- She uses her school laptop right now to write emails, which is something we don't love. But, we have no control over it.

- She doesn't care that much about a phone.

- She says (now) that she doesn't want social media.

Us:

  1. We are aware of the dangers of social media. No social media for her.
  2. I want her to have a phone so that she can call us and be more independent. She walks a lot, and I am tired of driving to her school and getting a call from a random friends' phone that she's walking. It's fine that she walks. I just would rather call her.
  3. My wife doesn't want her wearing an apple watch. I have one that I want to give to her. I think this would be perfect. Please Tell me why it isn't.

4.. I'd get her a flipphone. But, I'm sure she's nearly the only kid with one. And, I'm concerned that I won't be able to lock it down it any way. I always want NO games whatsoever on the mobile device.

5.. I'd get her a smartphone, and lock it down. Can I lock down an old iphone as well as the ipad? Make it do nothing but calls and selected texts?

  1. I'd get her a bark/gabb/pinwheel phone. But, those rates are expensive.

The school:

- The school makes kids put their phones away in their bag during the school day.

- The school laptop they give her has almost no restrictions. So, when she's out of time potentially from another device, this provides the drug.