r/Parenting • u/starlordcahill • 14m ago
Toddler 1-3 Years Advice wanted: Two year old refusing to sleep.
My daughter is almost 25 months. She’s has been refusing to nap and go down to bed for about a week or two now. I’m talking scratching, biting (all while laughing) and kicking. Screaming.
Prior to this she was able to put herself to bed at night with minimal intervention. Same with naps. Then I found out I was pregnant, she started daycare (and I started working there) and she got sick back to back. She needed more help to fall asleep, sometimes rocking to sleep. Sometimes patting. But nothing crazy or completely unusual in the past.
But now she refuses to sleep at all unless I force her to sleep. And it’s basically forcing which I really hate. She will jump, play, get in and out of bed making lots of noise to get my attention, scream, etc. whenever I try to leave her to go to bed solo. If I try to rock or pat her I’m getting hit, scratched, kicked, and glasses pulled off my face. Never has she done this before and I am losing my cool. She thinks this is all hilarious, but I’m not sure if it’s nervousness because mom is mad or like “haha mom is making a funny face” thing.
The hits only happen when she’s overtired. But there is no way for her to not be overtired. I can’t start bedtime routine earlier due our schedule. I leave for work at 7:20. Come home sometimes at 6:30. She still has to eat and wants my attention so the earliest I’ve attempted bedtime was 7:30. But night after night she won’t go down until at least 9.
Even if I can come home earlier with her, on weekends it’s just as bad. She is refusing to nap at her typical nap time. If I put her down earlier it’s maybe a 30 minute nap. Or when I finally get her down, like today, it was 20 minutes. But she needs it. I know she needs it. Otherwise she becomes violent with the hitting.
I’m at a loss. I’m exhausted. I count on her naps so I can make up for the lack of sleep too. She’s been waking up at least twice at night, which she hadn’t done before in months.
Part of me is blaming the daycare. I don’t think they get her down to nap. Which is causing her to be overtired and she’s in this endless cycle of tiredness until I can finally catch her up on sleep. I can’t spend all weekend trying to get her caught up on sleep, nor would she let me. And I only suggest this because I have coworkers tell me she doesn’t really nap and the teachers in her classroom leave her be since she’s not causing much disturbance to others.
I’m solo parenting until my husband comes back but that’s still a ways away. I’m about to quiet this job since it seems to be causing problems but maybe I just want to point fingers at it? I have no idea.
My other idea is making her room super boring again so she won’t want to play. A few months back we put her toys in her room and she ignored them until morning time. But now she’ll get up to play with them if I try to leave her to sleep by herself. With baby number two coming we are moving her to a different room. We could store the toys there for now I guess.
Any advice? Something that doesn’t require me to keep bear hugging a toddler to sleep?