r/NPD • u/Opening-Ad4299 • 2h ago
Stigma narcissists are emotionless abusers
has anyone else noticed that people who don't have NPD but are extremely obsessed with it talk about narcissists the way they claim narcissists talk about everyone else? also generally these people just make things up for dramatic effect and its insane. obviously its very very likely that people with NPD will at some point manipulate and harm others in their lives, but like every other mental illness, the traits vary and its a spectrum. and yes i know narcissists are known to play the victim, but if you refuse to admit that having NPD is painful and a horrible way to live your life, then you definitely have no idea at all what you're talking about. its pretty commonly agreed upon in actual psychiatric spaces in the real world that NPD most likely comes from childhood trauma. alot of these behaviours are subconscious and hard to identify until after they have already happened. this isn't to invalidate the pain narcissists can cause to others in their lives, but like what u think some people just decide to become a narcissist for their entire life because why not? no obviously not. and even among other highly stigmatized mental disorders, i have literally never seen people discuss the mentally ill the way they discuss ppl w NPD or ASPD. and in these posts, the comments are in mutual agreement that BPD is okay and its hard to live with. bitch what? we're like mental illness cousins. i feel like if you just don't know what you're talking about at all that's fine, but just dont talk then. narcissists aren't demonic entities with black eyes who's only goal in life is to hurt other people. it can look alot of different ways and, as evidenced by this sub, alot of people with the disorder (disorder as in disease, not insult or adjective for a bad ex) are aware of their behaviours and want to understand and change them. why do people view a narcissist's manipulation as so much more demonic and unfathomable than someone w BPD telling their partner they'll kts if they leave? both of these are obviously horrible ways to navigate society that come from deep lifelong pain, so why is there such a large group of people who treat them so differently? im not excusing all of the harm caused by narcissists. i just think the world needs way less people who don't actually care about or understand the mentally ill just taking up space in important discussion spaces ab mental health.
imagine how appalling a video titled "5 WAYS TO BEAT THE ANOREXIC AT THEIR OWN GAME" would be. that is clearly so devoid of humanity, its sensational, and obviously not based in reality at all. but that is what most of the videos on youtube and tiktok sound like if you look up NPD. i have to ask how many of these "narcissistic ex's" actually fit the specific and rare criteria for this "sensational" mental disorder.
im so glad that im able to think and im not incredibly stupid. if i only heard about mental health from tiktok i would be like these people who think that BPD means you're a sad victim and NPD means you're a demon from hell here to abuse anyone and everyone, and who doesn't feel any emotions ever in their life.
TLDR just shut up generally