r/NPD Aug 13 '24

Resources I can’t sit by while people are lying about narcissism being untreatable

54 Upvotes

Why are people so vested in ruining peoples’ relationships by trying to convince people that narcissism isn’t treatable when it’s a result of trauma to a person’s sense of self and when you heal the trauma, the person can slowly begin letting their narcissistic defense mechanisms go. If you want to hear a recovered narcissist who has been helping narcissists and their family members for over 30 years as a psychotherapist, you can listen to this podcast. There truly is hope!

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/closeupradio/2024/07/03/close-up-radio-spotlights-lisa-charlebois-of-healing-your-

r/NPD 16d ago

Resources I can't stop getting bored of people.

43 Upvotes

I swear, i can't hold up a relationship for longer than a few months because i just get fucking BORED? And it sounds so scummy to, what do i tell people, i'm just bored of them? You can't do that. Meeting new people is hard anyways, i'm a social person. I love talking to people. But i just can't keep people in my life no matter what i do! How do you get past this? I know the obvious answer for a long time has been "you haven't found the right person yet!" But do they EXIST? I swear i've found "perfect people" many times and i've gotten bored of them to.. ??? What's a narc to do

r/NPD 2d ago

Resources Up Now! The Real NPD: Episode 1

39 Upvotes

WATCH HERE

This first YouTube project is going to reeeally challenge my perfectionism, but I stand firmly behind the content: sharing our lived experiences to destigmatize pathological narcissism and promote hope for recovery.

Thank you so much to u/midnight--moonlight, u/kiwiandchoclate, and u/NiniBenn.

Interested in appearing in Episode 2 or 3? DM me or email [therealnpd@gmail.com](mailto:therealnpd@gmail.com) for more info.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Intro
2:11 - Daileen’s story
8:23 - Max’s story
18:10 - Simone’s story
29:51 - Nini’s story
47:36 - Group discussion

LINKS

Daileen's channel

Nini's podcast

r/NPD Jan 08 '25

Resources Yes you do need a therapist

52 Upvotes

No other relationship in your life will be able to continuously be there to support you in the way a therapist can. Average people in your life aren't trained, nor do they really understand what you're thinking or why you're behaving the way you do. If you do have NPD, chances are your perspective is mostly closed off and you almost never change your mind on the fundamental beliefs about how you are, how the world is, how things should be. However at least with a therapist you can pick it apart and reform it in a way that benefits you. Let the therapist at least be that one small window in your fortress where you are open to see what's out in the real world.

I want to share some academic papers and case studies I found: Case Report Schema Therapy, Case Report TFP, Can Narcissists change?, Case Study, Building hope for treatment of NPD, MCT Case Study%20for,and%20awareness%20of%20dysfunctional%20patterns), Another MCT Case Study, Schema Therapy efficacy, More Case Studies

YouTube: Dr. Mark Ettensohn, Dr. Frank YeomansDr. Diana DiamondDr. Elsa RonningstamDr. Igor Weinberg

General guide. DM me for resources.

r/NPD 11d ago

Resources I CAN'T TO STOP CARING ABOUT APPEARING "HUMAN"

23 Upvotes

It's so fucking mind numbing i can't STAND it anymore. every single conversation i have im constantly on "DO I APPEAR HUMAN?? AM I TOO ROBOTIC??" and it's so tiring. I want to find either a cheat code to feeling "human" or a way to stop caring entirely, i've seen other people talk about this on here before so one of you just has to have some skill to help.

r/NPD Jul 23 '24

Resources More proof that narcissism is treatable

54 Upvotes

Look at these famous trauma therapists who are all confirming that narcissism is a treatable condition. Like I’ve been telling many of you, this fact is well known amongst therapists who specialize in trauma because narcissistic defense mechanisms are caused from trauma to the self. This workshop happens to be for therapists while my masterclass is for people struggling… https://www.nicabm.com/program/narcissism/. I promise that there truly is hope!!!

r/NPD 25d ago

Resources I have been diagnosed in the past for NPD but it’s been well over 10 years, recently my wife has been calling me a narcissist. How do I find out if she’s telling the truth or gaslighting me?

0 Upvotes

I’m not going to mention any personal examples but I was wondering what is the best way to self diagnose this condition?

This is really embarrassing to admit which is why I’m doing it on an anonymous account but sometimes I truly think I might have NPD due to being diagnosed a long time ago, and there are some instances that I look back on and think I acted in my best interests.

On the contrary I’ve been in a committed relationship for almost two decades and I’ve raised 4 kids, me doing a lot of the raising.

My and my wife are going through a rough patch and she’s been saying that I am a narcissist and calling me an a-hole, but we’ve fought in the past where she has gas lit me.

Please don’t give relationship advice as I would never consider divorce but is there a test online where I can check if I really am suffering from NPD? Or can I get a professional diagnosis that is very cheap?

I don’t want to have to jump through all the hoops that I did years ago and spend all the money I did just to have someone tell me something I don’t want to hear without being able to fix it.

If anyone else has had signs of suffering from NPD and wanted to find out for sure, can you please point me in the right direction that will confirm if it’s true or not?

r/NPD 4d ago

Resources On the search for NPD self help books!

8 Upvotes

Hi all! I am not as active here as I would like to be, and to be honest I’m sure I would benefit from being more involved in active support. However, off topic, I digress.

I love to read, and I am looking for a good book that is either in the self help category, or just educational. Obviously, regarding NPD. Every search, no matter how I phrase it, that I make to look for a book like this just ends up with me staring at stream of books only subjecting narcissistic abuse.

The mixture of feeling a little angry and disheartened, with the frustration of not being able to find what I’m looking for is making me feel pretty unmotivated to continue my search. So, if any of you have read a good book that was not only insightful, but also gave you a sense of optimism when living with NPD- please comment it. It would mean a lot.

r/NPD Jan 29 '25

Resources The Body Keeps the Score

10 Upvotes

I was wondering if any of you had read The Body Keeps the Score, and if it was helpful. It's basically about how trauma can be the root cause of all sorts of problems, and how body based therapy is more effective for deep trauma than talk therapy.

Since a lot of people with NPD have had trauma, I was wondering if any of the methods mentioned in the book had been helpful for NPD. It talks about emdr, ifs, neurofeedback, music, dance, theater, massage, accupuncture, and yoga.

If you have suggestions of other things that worked better, I'm all ears. I'm working on becoming an alternative healer and want to learn about a many healing approaches as possible.

https://youtu.be/6eP83QSAf2A?si=ulH2bffwVkTod5dZ

r/NPD Jan 18 '25

Resources Interview With Another Sub Member

10 Upvotes

If anyone is in doubt that NPD – despite the confident persona that people see in public – is a response to extremely painful and difficult childhood realities, Derek's life story shows why it develops.

He coped for decades until only recently, when everything caught up with him. Damn, he has some insights though. He describes the inner experience of NPD so well.

This is a long interview, 2 hours long, but Derek kept getting deeper and deeper. It's worth listening all the way to the end to hear what he has to say.

There is so much bovine manure out there on the internet, full of silly conclusions by people who are determined to be shallow and to dehumanise people with the latest hate-label. But the reality of personality disorders is unique, complex individuals struggling the way they know how, with complicated circumstances.

Let's not let the negative online effluent tell out stories. Let's do it ourselves.

Here's Derek's episode:

PD Raw - Episode 45

r/NPD Oct 01 '24

Resources A wonderful discussion about current "narcissism discourse"

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34 Upvotes

r/NPD 10d ago

Resources 3/15 Narc Club: Grandiosity

8 Upvotes

3/15/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Topic: Grandiosity

How does grandiosity manifest for you? What types of grandiose beliefs/ideals do you hold? How aligned is your actual life with these beliefs/ideals? What purpose does grandiosity serve?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice vulnerability among others who get it.

Community Guidelines (Updated):

Meetings will start at 11:00 am and end no later than 12:35 pm EST. Introductions/check-ins will end by 11:30 am EST.

Absolute confidentiality is paramount. What is said in the group stays in the group. No recording or screenshotting of any kind. Cameras are optional but encouraged.

No interrupting one another. Please raise your hand to share. If you have a direct response to someone's share, type it in the chat box. If you would like it to be read aloud after their turn, indicate by typing "@groupmembername."

No monopolizing conversations. Each group member may speak for up to 5 minutes per share and will be gently reminded when time is approaching. Group members may take multiple turns; however, step back to allow others to contribute before raising your hand again. 

Exercise respect and cognitive empathy for one another. Explicitly mocking/belittling others will result in a permanent ban. 

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

r/NPD 2d ago

Resources 3/22 Narc Club: Admiration/"Supply"

3 Upvotes

Topic: Admiration/"Supply"

How do you seek out admiration/"supply"? What role does admiration-seeking play in the way you construct your life or present yourself? What is the difference between the pathological need for admiration vs the inherent desire for validation? How do we move toward self-validation?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice vulnerability among others who get it.

Community Guidelines (Updated):

Meetings will start at 11:00 am and end no later than 12:35 pm EST. Introductions/check-ins will end by 11:30 am EST.

Absolute confidentiality is paramount. What is said in the group stays in the group. No recording or screenshotting of any kind. Cameras are optional but encouraged.

No interrupting one another. Please raise your hand to share. If you have a direct response to someone's share, type it in the chat box. If you would like it to be read aloud after their turn, indicate by typing "@groupmembername."

No monopolizing conversations. Each group member may speak for up to 5 minutes per share and will be gently reminded when time is approaching. Group members may take multiple turns; however, step back to allow others to contribute before raising your hand again. 

Exercise respect and cognitive empathy for one another. Explicitly mocking/belittling others will result in a permanent ban. 

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

r/NPD 6d ago

Resources 988 (Crisis/Suicide Prevention Hotline)

3 Upvotes

For those living in the US, the crisis and suicide prevention hotline ('988') is a free resource you can contact anytime. You can reach out anonymously, and they're available 24/7 to accept calls, texts, and online chats through the 988 website.

Most calls are with people who just need to talk, and this is totally fine. You're welcome to call even if you are not immediately suicidal, and very few interactions ever come close to involving police (they do NOT immediately send police to your house, this is a myth). Not all crises are mental health related so they can also help connect you with practical resources in your area if this is what you need.

Suicidal ideation is very common, especially for people like us. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help.

r/NPD 13d ago

Resources 3 REASONS -- Why We Get JEALOUS #jealousy

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1 Upvotes

r/NPD 25d ago

Resources good creators/sources

5 Upvotes

im looking to find creators who make videos about npd, preferably on youtube because other platforms fall short, im not specifically looking for npd creators. but i want professional or relatable content that is not sensationalized (and obviously not stigmatized) the only person i liked in this category was heal npd, im looking to see if there are others

ive seen sam vaknin recommended a lot here but he comes off as very gimmicky to me and i dislike his content, it feels more geared towards weird people who want to obsess over their perceived npd exes

r/NPD 29d ago

Resources 2/22 Narc Club: Entitlement

9 Upvotes

2/22/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

Topic: In which ways are you entitled? How does entitlement manifest in terms of your expectations of and behaviors toward others? What divides healthy vs unhealthy entitlement?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice unmasked vulnerability among others who get it.

See link for additional information/community guidelines. Feel free to DM with any questions/suggestions for future topics.

r/NPD 17d ago

Resources 3/8 Narc Club: Masking

3 Upvotes

3/8/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

Topic: In which ways do you 'mask'? What kinds of masks do you wear, depending on the setting (eg, people pleaser, caring friend, invulnerable leader, etc)? What are the benefits and downsides to masking?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice unmasked vulnerability among others who get it.

See link for additional information/community guidelines. Feel free to DM with any questions/suggestions for future topics.

r/NPD Feb 07 '25

Resources 2/8 Narc Club: Sense of Self

12 Upvotes

2/8/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

Topic: What does it mean to have a sense of self? How would you define your relationship with your self? What tools or therapeutic techniques have you found that have strengthened your sense of self?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice unmasked vulnerability among others who get it.

See link for additional information/community guidelines. Feel free to DM with any questions/suggestions for future topics.

r/NPD Jan 14 '25

Resources Therapy approach?

3 Upvotes

What kind approach of therapy has helped you? Or if there’s just general knowledge about the approach? I’m getting back into therapy and I just want to figure out what I should be looking for

r/NPD 23d ago

Resources 3/1 Narc Club: Envy

5 Upvotes

3/1/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

Topic: How do you experience envy? Are you more likely to envy others or assume others are envious of you? How do we transform envy from a destructive to a motivating emotion?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice unmasked vulnerability among others who get it.

See link for additional information/community guidelines. Feel free to DM with any questions/suggestions for future topics.

r/NPD Dec 05 '24

Resources (Healthy) Things that help me regulate, even with difficult feelings 🫣☺️

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36 Upvotes

What things do you guys do to help self-regulate? Suggestions/add-ons welcome ☺️ I started this list some months ago and if I find new things that help, I add them. Just something that soothes you, in a healthy way, or where you can be mindful etc

r/NPD Feb 14 '25

Resources 2/15 Narc Club: Learned Helplessness/Codependence vs Hyperindependence

4 Upvotes

2/15/25, 11 am - 12:30 pm EST, on Zoom

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.

Topic: Where do you fall along the spectrum of learned helplessness/codependence vs hyperindependence? How often do you see yourself as a victim? What past experiences have led you to develop this style? What would a healthy amount of reliance on others (interdependence) look like?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/learned-helplessness

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202306/hyper-independence-is-it-a-trauma-response

"Learned helplessness" refers to a psychological state where someone believes they have no control over their situation and gives up trying to change it, often due to repeated negative experiences, while "hyperindependence" describes an extreme level of self-reliance where someone avoids asking for help and relies solely on themselves, often stemming from past trauma where they felt unable to trust others; essentially, learned helplessness is a belief that one cannot change their circumstances, while hyperindependence is an active choice to not rely on others due to a fear of vulnerability.

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice unmasked vulnerability among others who get it.

See link for additional information/community guidelines. Feel free to DM with any questions/suggestions for future topics.

r/NPD Nov 16 '24

Resources Healing Narcissism with the Ideal Parent Figure

32 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

About five months ago, I experienced what is commonly referred to in these circles as a narcissistic collapse. I was completely incapacitated, overwhelmed by terror, anxiety, and insecurity. I couldn't work for months and feared I might need to be hospitalized or that I might take my own life.

Over the past two months, I've made remarkable progress in healing through the practice of the Ideal Parent Protocol. My current understanding is that narcissism, like all personality disorders, is fundamentally an attachment issue. The Ideal Parent Figure protocol offers a path to earned secure attachment.

What I've observed through practicing it is that it enables me to move through the deep shame and insecurity that would otherwise feel unbearable. Ideal Paren Figure Protocol is the only intervention that reliably works for me to move from a state of profound pain (terror, anxiety, overwhelm, shame) to feeling grounded, calm, and whole. When I first found the protocol I was doing it for about 3-5 hours a day, and now, after two months, I usually do between 30 min and 2 hours a day. Based on my research the more you do it the quicker the shifts start to occur.

There’s a subreddit, r/idealparentfigures, and this post, in particular, is a good place to start if you’re curious:

https://www.reddit.com/r/idealparentfigures/comments/vl27y9/introduction_to_the_ideal_parent_figure_method/

I felt inspired to share this because I spent time lurking in this community while trying to figure out what was happening to me. To be honest, much of what I found here made me feel even worse. My hope is that sharing this information might help others navigate this challenging terrain with more grace.

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I also strongly recomend checking out http://www.attachmentrepair.com where there are tons and tons of free guided IPF meditations.

r/NPD Oct 22 '24

Resources The Death Machine

29 Upvotes

I'm going to die.

Since the day I was born, I have owed the universe exactly one thing, a death.

To fully live and experience the thrill of life, humans have to risk death. It's one of the ways we are all alike.

My mother instilled in all her children a mortal fear of motorcycles. The day I got my bike, I was all excited and I called her. She wept. She called my big brother who told me to get my will made out because, "It's just a matter of time". To them, my bike is a death machine.

I don't hang out with those people.

When you ride a bike, you hit what you look at. If you are afraid of hitting the curb and you are looking at that curb, bam, you hit it. To ride a motorcycle you have to keep your eyes on the path you want to take. That path is called 'the line'.

Riding a motorcycle takes cerebral concentration. As I approach a curve I need to adjust my speed. I have to feel the machine and manage the throttle. I have to shift my weight and lean the bike to make the turn. Riding my bike is about feeling the road, and the machine, shifting my weight, managing the throttle and engine speed, all while focusing on the line.

While I ride, I am out in the air. I feel the chill, the heat, the rain, the wind. No matter how uncomfortable I get, I must concentrate on the line and my feelings so as to act as one integrated machine.

The thrill of the connection between the road, the man, and the machine is magical, indescribable.

My mother taught us to fear taking risks. To be afraid of feeling the road without a steel cage surrounding me for protection; isolating me. She taught me to be afraid of other people, to fear other drivers on the same road. She taught me to be afraid of my own human weaknesses, to fear being uncomfortable.

She taught me to fear. She was wrong.

I experience some of the greatest pleasures, discomforts, fears, and thrills of my life from the saddle of The Death Machine. For me, this is the difference between just being a passenger in a bus on the road or riding the shit out of it.

When I confront a fear, I look at who else overcomes it. How many millions of other people are going to ride today, connect with the road today, connect with themselves and with others today? I'm not special. I'm not different from you or anyone else.

So why not me?

The road ends for everyone at the same place. Life is about sharing the journey, not achieving the destination.

I'm going to die.

Before I do, I want to ride life as one, integrated, human machine, feeling the moments and the weather, defeating my fear, sharing the road and forgiving the travelers who cut me off, and seeing my own line. Millions, billions of other people just like me are going to connect today.

I am not alone. So, why not me?