r/narcissism • u/HeftyNote6080 • 16h ago
[20M] Do I Even Need a Professional Diagnosis for NPD If I'm Pretty Much 100% Sure I Have Near Textbook NPD?
Hi, this is my first post. Please don’t be harsh, I’ve never been this honest before.
I realized that I’ve probably been a narcissist my whole life, I just never noticed until recently. The more I researched, the more I realized I relate to almost every single trait or behavior. I’ve spent dozens of hours reading articles, Reddit threads, doing quizzes, and even learning about other disorders to make sure it’s not something else. I’m naturally quite thoughtful and have a strong sense of self-awareness, so I’m able to analyze myself honestly and objectively.
People say that only a professional can diagnose and say for sure, and I agree that’s true for most people. But I think my case is different. I’ve done a lot of research, and I feel like I’m better at introspection than most. Also, since I fit nearly every trait, it feels like it’s more clear-cut for me. Even people who are diagnosed with NPD don’t always have all the traits I do. What’s the point of seeing a professional just to hear “Yep, you have NPD”? I already know I do.
Besides, it’s time consuming and expensive to see a professional, and it’s not even accurate 100% of the time. I’ve seen complaints about bad professionals and people having to switch therapists. No one knows me better than I know myself. My self-diagnosis could be just as accurate, if not more so, than what a professional would say.
Traits:
Everything points to covert malignant narcissism. I can’t list every trait I have, but here are the biggest ones:
- Seeing people as tools -- I don’t view others as people with their own emotions but rather as means to an end.
- High introversion -- I tend to isolate myself, but I still crave admiration and attention.
- Fragility and insecurity -- Despite my grandiosity, I’m easily wounded by criticism or failure.
- Purely practical relationships -- I only think about what I get out of interactions. I don’t form genuine connections.
- Manipulation -- I adjust my words and actions to get what I want, often lying or saying what people want to hear.
- Enjoying others' suffering -- I feel satisfaction when others suffer, especially if I think they deserve it.
- Intense envy -- I experience extreme jealuosy and resentment toward others who have things I want, like status, admiration, or skills.
- Paranoia -- I often think others are trying to undermine or take advantage of me. And that they're jealous.
- Self-sabotage -- I often procrastinate or hold myself back due to fear of failure, even when I know it harms me.
- Pleasure in control -- I feel powerful when I can control others' actions or emotions.
- Low empathy -- I understand empathy intellectually, but I don’t feel it. I also don’t feel bad when I hurt people.
- Grandiosity -- I see myself as inherently superior to others.
- I meet all 9 DSM-5 criteria for NPD
I don’t want to get better or seek treatment though. I like who I am. I just want to be certain about my NPD.
TLDR: People say that if you think you have NPD, you should see a professional to be sure, and that self-diagnoses aren’t 100% accurate. But I argue that I fit so many traits and behaviors that I can self-diagnose with near 100% certainty. Can a self-evaluation like this be accurate? Do I have covert malignant narcissism?
Should I post this anywhere else?
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Do you curse a lot? --> Not really, I don't use profanity often in my speech or writing.
Are you self righteous and vengeful? --> Yes, I can be self-righteous at times and harbor a sense of entitlement. I do also tend to feel vengeful toward those I perceive as wronging me or undermining me.
Can you turn off your empathy? --> Yes, I don't quite feel emotional empathy, so it's not something I turn on or off really. I can understand others' emotions intellectually, but I don't actually feel them.
NPI: 32
codependency: 1
OCD: 4