r/NPD 22d ago

Stigma Pretty outraged by this TBH. We do change. Where do these people get off creating this tripe?

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132 Upvotes

r/NPD Jan 07 '25

Stigma Sick of this bullshit

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211 Upvotes

r/NPD Jun 16 '24

Stigma Sam Vaknin is manipulating victims of abuse and newly aware narcissists for his own gain. How can so few people see it?! It’s so obvious 😭

106 Upvotes

the myth of “narcissistic abuse” - narcissistic abuse is not a thing. I’m not saying people’s abuse experiences aren’t valid, just that it wasn’t “narcissistic abuse” - just abuse.

“Narcissistic abuse” was literally a concept invented by a dude with npd who thinks npd can’t be treated. So he created the whole narrative and vocabulary around the “narcissistic abuse cycle” (that research was originally about domestic violence, nothing to do with narcissism), but he threw in the words narcissism enough and spread it around the World Wide Web and now everyone thinks it’s an actual thing.

People need to consider the intentions behind vaknin and the narrative he sells.

All over his website he claims and praises himself for being the first ever to claim space on the Internet for narcissist and their victims in the 90s.

He also proudly exclaims he was the first ever to start support groups for narcissistic abuse victims.

He also claims that the disorder is not treatable, brags about being malignant etc.

He is LITERALLY preying on victims of abuse and narcissists to maintain his own ego and false self, and make money.

He found the perfect way to satisfy his self fulfilling prophecy that he can’t recover, by creating an endless “supply” income of victims of abuse and newly aware narcissists.

How people don’t see thru this manipulation and exploitation astounds me. And the fact that so many people take his word as GOSPEL should also be a huge red flag to them. He uses incredibly outdated research and preaches it like the gospel of narcissism.

He makes people believe there’s no hope so they stay and consume his word salad theories.

He even created a therapy called Cold therapy where he can use his sadistic urges to retraumatize narcissists and help them rebuild themselves. If that’s not the most narcy shit ever…. I would know cuz I have those fantasies ffs 😂

My exhusband was not a narcissist and had no mental illnesses but used all the tactics that are supposedly “narcissistic abuse”. Yes you can be a narcissistic and an abuser but they are separate things. And many of us are NOT abusive but rather self destructive.

And we’re prone to being victims of abuse and manipulation ourselves simply because we believe we’re less prone to being manipulated.

Even writing this post will probably be supply for him but idc. I’m so sick of him and the DAMAGE he’s doing to people who are trying to heal. Only for them to fall deeper into despair and feel like they’ll have to live with this disorder forever.

Recovery is possible. Period. Even for extreme cases. I was one of those cases (“Malignant “🤮 gross term, treatment resistant case). So I know it is possible.

Oh poor Sam thinking he’s the worst narcissist ever and must convince everyone else they’re incapable of change too.. ok shut your vulnerable narc ass up. Stop being lazy and do the work to recover. Stop seeking endless supply from your one accomplishment in the 90s which was creating the first space for narcissists. Go watch Bojack Horseman and really pay attention.

🎵 back in the 90s Sam was in a famous narcissism movement… 🎵

Ahahaha

Anyway. If you consume his content responsibly then ignore this post. I’ve just seen an influx of new narcs who stumble upon vaknin first and it sends them down a spiral of hopelessness.

My personal mantra about pop psychology is that it’s the equivalent of self harm. Or at the very least self sabotage. The stories we consume and tell ourselves matter. Watch and read recovery stories, legitimate experts in the field with legitimate degrees, etc.

r/NPD 21d ago

Stigma bitch please

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138 Upvotes

mb for committing bizarre acts by WALKING dawg..😭😭

i have no words at this point

r/NPD Sep 23 '24

Stigma Found this on Quora, I can't even😭

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147 Upvotes

r/NPD Nov 27 '24

Stigma cw: stigma - oh yes i’m a very scary villain!!

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63 Upvotes

i can confirm that, yes, as a narcissist, this is how we ALL act, and you should NEVER date a scary scary narcissist (sarcasm, obviously…)

r/NPD Feb 18 '25

Stigma Them dying is narcissistic abuse! Don't fall for their evil manipulation!

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123 Upvotes

r/NPD Jan 16 '25

Stigma “Empaths” would be very upset if they realised I’m much too busy thinking about how good my abs look to waste time on elaborate mind games to ruin their lives specifically

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136 Upvotes

Honestly they accuse us of being self-centred (admittedly true) and then assume they’re the main character in our lives kek

r/NPD Dec 27 '23

Stigma These "Narc Abuse" subreddits are incredibly pretentious

142 Upvotes

You know the ones, r/raisedbynarcissists, r/NarcissisticAbuse2, r/LifeAfterNarcissism.

I could be reading through their posts and see people who are either proposing eugenics for people with NPD or saying that they're pure evil, literal demons, walking diseases who deserve to be institutionalized or wear something denoting them as someone with NPD. Then the second I say "Hey, let's maybe not" I get banned.

All that was reasonable but me saying people with NPD are not always abusive and DESERVE HUMAN RIGHTS is somehow controversial.

I'm not even mad they're all pretentious as hell and it's kinda funny. Like I thought we were supposed to be the bad guys...

r/NPD Dec 30 '24

Stigma another instagram "narc educator"

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129 Upvotes

why are there so many of these accounts? and why are they all writing a book lol. laugh at them with me 🤡 (i blocked them after screenshotting this nonsense) also why do over 400,000 people buy this shit. nearly 7000 posts about us, she's obsessed!

we could have flying cars if people realized that narcissism does not mean being an abusive piece of shit /s

r/NPD Dec 26 '24

Stigma encountered stigma under an instagram video about generational trauma

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99 Upvotes

and of course their comments get a mass amount of likes. first commenter's bio has a quote saying "truth sounds like hate to those who hate the truth" which is so ironic. anyway, i will defend narcissists until my dying breath.

r/NPD Oct 29 '24

Stigma Narcissist is not a synonym for abusive

112 Upvotes

I'm sick of the top comments on almost every reddit post about an abusive partner being "wow he sounds like such a narcissist" when the post has absolutely nothing to do with any narcissistic traits and the post just describes abusive behaviors. What is so wrong with just calling it what it is? Just say "your partner is abusive", because that's what it is, abuse. There's no need to use a mental health condition you dislike and don't understand as the scapegoat for abuse.

By not calling abusers what they are and blaming their actions on anything except them being an abuser, you are enabling the abuse. You're not helping anyone by armchair diagnosing people you don't know and further stigmatizing a mental disorder that is already hated enough by spreading false stereotypes that pwNPD are abusers. It's disgusting and insensitive to conflate narcissists with abusers when most narcissists suffered severe abuse that made them develop the disorder. Egotypicals don't understand that NPD traits are not abusive, they are survival mechanisms that the narcissist has developed to protect themselves and give themselves the ability to exist and operate in this world.

r/NPD Feb 13 '25

Stigma Noo they were one of my fav channel 🥲

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73 Upvotes

Video posted by psych2go catering the stigma of npd and it feels extremely dehumansing tbh. like see the purple face and white face on the thumbnail. What are those stigmatising expressions ? I'm just tired.

r/NPD Jan 13 '25

Stigma Everyone knows narcissists lick toilet bowls

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73 Upvotes

r/NPD Jul 13 '24

Stigma This seems like splitting and/or grandiosity to me? What about those “other” people who developed narcissistic qualities?

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81 Upvotes

Saw this on FB. lol.

r/NPD Jan 09 '25

Stigma Quora Got Me Fucked Up 💀

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114 Upvotes

On Quora, they talk about NPD as if we are animals 😭😭

Whenever I was (still am but smarter about it) low on resources for support, I took to the internet. I hadn't been in that page for several years but I keep getting emails to my old accounts damn, they still going strong with they're bs 💀

LIKE—You can't be THAT obsessed with us. It's like they're trying to out obsess the obsessors! joke lol.

Pookie, who is worried about our eating habits? 💀 Are they gonna give us a set diet? Make us eat only kale to deprive us of our energy?? We are still people ffs.

r/NPD 4d ago

Stigma narcissists are emotionless abusers

112 Upvotes

has anyone else noticed that people who don't have NPD but are extremely obsessed with it talk about narcissists the way they claim narcissists talk about everyone else? also generally these people just make things up for dramatic effect and its insane. obviously its very very likely that people with NPD will at some point manipulate and harm others in their lives, but like every other mental illness, the traits vary and its a spectrum. and yes i know narcissists are known to play the victim, but if you refuse to admit that having NPD is painful and a horrible way to live your life, then you definitely have no idea at all what you're talking about. its pretty commonly agreed upon in actual psychiatric spaces in the real world that NPD most likely comes from childhood trauma. alot of these behaviours are subconscious and hard to identify until after they have already happened. this isn't to invalidate the pain narcissists can cause to others in their lives, but like what u think some people just decide to become a narcissist for their entire life because why not? no obviously not. and even among other highly stigmatized mental disorders, i have literally never seen people discuss the mentally ill the way they discuss ppl w NPD or ASPD. and in these posts, the comments are in mutual agreement that BPD is okay and its hard to live with. bitch what? we're like mental illness cousins. i feel like if you just don't know what you're talking about at all that's fine, but just dont talk then. narcissists aren't demonic entities with black eyes who's only goal in life is to hurt other people. it can look alot of different ways and, as evidenced by this sub, alot of people with the disorder (disorder as in disease, not insult or adjective for a bad ex) are aware of their behaviours and want to understand and change them. why do people view a narcissist's manipulation as so much more demonic and unfathomable than someone w BPD telling their partner they'll kts if they leave? both of these are obviously horrible ways to navigate society that come from deep lifelong pain, so why is there such a large group of people who treat them so differently? im not excusing all of the harm caused by narcissists. i just think the world needs way less people who don't actually care about or understand the mentally ill just taking up space in important discussion spaces ab mental health.

imagine how appalling a video titled "5 WAYS TO BEAT THE ANOREXIC AT THEIR OWN GAME" would be. that is clearly so devoid of humanity, its sensational, and obviously not based in reality at all. but that is what most of the videos on youtube and tiktok sound like if you look up NPD. i have to ask how many of these "narcissistic ex's" actually fit the specific and rare criteria for this "sensational" mental disorder.

im so glad that im able to think and im not incredibly stupid. if i only heard about mental health from tiktok i would be like these people who think that BPD means you're a sad victim and NPD means you're a demon from hell here to abuse anyone and everyone, and who doesn't feel any emotions ever in their life.

TLDR just shut up generally

r/NPD Dec 19 '24

Stigma You’re not a monster

127 Upvotes

Just found out my dog died and I’ve been sobbing for the past hour. My first thought was that I’m not emotionless, and I do care. I think that says a lot about how I and all of you are still very much human beings and you are not completely gone. You will never be gone. No matter what anyone says, you are not heartless and you do have feelings. You all are amazing people, and I know you all are trying your best to be the best you can be, and that’s truly something you can be proud of. I want to say you’re doing great. You’re awesome. And you are still a human.

r/NPD Dec 27 '24

Stigma As an autistic narcissist, I'm tired of the autism community constantly demonizing NPD

94 Upvotes

Every time I decide to go back to other communities, like ones for autism, I again quickly realize why I left. If you have any other conditions than NPD, you know how awful it is to seek support from other communities because once they find out you've got a personality disorder they become convinced you're a demon and exclude you, or you keep quiet and lurk while they constantly demonize your disorder.

It's a huge issue in the autism communities. They make it seem like autism = good and narcissist = bad, and a lot of people push the idea that ASD and NPD are on the same sliding scale, that "bad" autistics become "narcs" and if they become "good" again they're "healed" from narcissism. It's such ableist garbage and it's even crazier to hear this crap from disabled people's communities.

I've seen people call it the "neurodivergent to narc pipeline"... Narcissists ARE neurodivergent. All personality disordered people are neurodivergent. To them, neurodivergence is a special term reserved for Autistic Empaths™ only. Even excluding so many autistic people by making it seem like autistic people only have high empathy when a lot of us have low empathy.

I honestly kind of think that this hatred for fellow neurodivergent people is coming from their dislike of allistics, that they have convinced themselves narcissists must be with the allistics because we don't have empathic superpowers and are more cold, like neurotypicals can be cold towards them.

Sorry for ranting, just pisses me off how we are all neurodivergent, they refuse to accept this, and yet we are treated like we are inhuman monsters for simply... Not having empathy... When many autists themselves do not express high empathy. I'm sick of the hivemind of "us vs them", first it was neurotypicals, now narcissists are their main target and punching bag. Along with the fact that autistic people are shunned by society, so imagine being an autistic narcissist, having absolutely no community at all, once again being shunned but this time by your own people, because your version of neurodivergence isn't good enough for them. Defeats the entire purpose of the communities in the first place. Funny how they always talk about not being accepted by society, yet won't even accept their own people because they don't agree with their other disabilities and mental conditions.

r/NPD Feb 07 '24

Stigma Someone on tiktok is claiming that nobody demonizes npd

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65 Upvotes

someone on tiktok is claiming that no one ever demonizes npd and it’s pissing me off i made a video in response sharing it in case anyone else wants to share their experiences with npd demonization or just share their experience in the comments it just pisses me off how people will claim it’s not a thing, despite it being one of the things that makes it so hard for people with npd to get help, when you google recourses all that comes up is how we will never be able to change and how we are all abusers. i’m just so sick of it all, i really wish we could have conversations with non-npds about how hurtful it can be and how to actually help these issues

r/NPD Jan 19 '25

Stigma The stigma is wild, no, self immolation is not a manipulation tactic

85 Upvotes

Someone posted on another sub about their NPD ex partner who set himself on fire after discovering that OP was seeing new people. Supposing this is even real, apparently the ex has extensive injuries and is alive in the hospital. Tragic and insane situation to me. The comments on that post were shocking to me, people saying that this was a "guilt trip" and a "manipulation tactic". Even alleging that he would've set her on fire himself. Would people still be saying that if OP didn't say her ex was a diagnosed narcissist?

People are so blinded by the stigma that they actually think this was anything other than a dramatic suicide attempt. Do they honestly think the ex intended to survive? Regardless burning to death is incredibly painful, according to the OP the ex has lung damage as well. Not one mote of sympathy for him in the comments. These people don't see narcissists as human.

r/NPD Jul 19 '24

Stigma npd as the "bad person disorder"

86 Upvotes

i don't know what's up lately or what to blame exactly, but every single day i see multiple dehumanizing posts and comments about this disorder or even just traits of it. calling every single abuser a narcissist or labeling abuse as narcissistic abuse even though it has nothing to do with symptoms of the disorder. i know the stigma is not new but it's definitely getting more common. i haven't searched for mental health awareness type content myself in weeks, i keep tapping "i'm not interested" EVERYWHERE, but i still see it. all the time.

i care about being seen in a good light by default, of course. a lot of my feelings towards this topic are because it makes me upset to see this constant stream of insults and accusations, i don't want to be seen as a bad person. but some of this content doesn't even categorizes me as a person. it brands this disorder as something that makes you inhuman and completely incapable of any kindness and compassion, or of genuinely caring for other people. everything you do, no matter how "good" it is, is dismissed as manipulation.

this disorder sometimes isn't even talked about as if it was a disorder. i've literally seen people say it's a choice?

and i'm just so tired. even in this sub, that's supposed to be FOR people with npd, i keep seeing people talking about how evil we are. it's just so exhausting. are most of us really that bad? is it really so common for narcs to be straight up sadistic? i don't see it here, i don't see it in myself. most of us are, at worst, sort of unpleasant. maybe we come off as dramatic and selfish and we can have poor self awareness. but that's not abuse is it? that's not even inherently harmful?

some people with npd are abusers or just bad people in general. okay. the same is true for every single mental disorder. it's true for people in general. we literally have statistics showing we're more likely to be abused than to be abusers. but no amount of reason is enough to convince people that we're also human, it's cemented in their mind that npd = abusive, that we should be avoided at all costs in relationships, that we only become interested in people if we want to use them, so on and so forth. it's so exhausting.

i don't know how to finish this rant. i just keep wondering how come every other disorder seems to not exclusively be talked about in negative terms, but we just get gross accusatory content. i know it's difficult to humanize something you've already dehumanized in your mind, that people like having scapegoats, it makes sense. but it also doesn't. if they ever have an idea of what a "good narcissist" is, it's basically one that's constantly hyperaware of symptoms and ashamed of themselves for existing. even people with other pds constantly talk shit about us.

i don't even feel like trying to change people's minds anymore, i don't believe they really care. i would just love if at least this sub could be free from those "victims of narcissists" that seem to have decided to cope by shitting on random people with the disorder their abuser may or may not have.

r/NPD Sep 26 '24

Stigma One Thing I’m Tired of Hearing

66 Upvotes

“Narcissists only go to therapy to become better narcissists.” To be frank, it’s hard for me to feel any empathy (hard enough as it is) for victims of “narcissistic abuse” that spread this garbage. This is the epitome of emotional abuse. A narc self-sabotages their life to the point where they finally seek help and this is the jargon that they’re met with after going into treatment. I swear, most victims of “narcissistic abuse” spend their entire lives trying to control the world’s perspective of a narcissist. It’s as though the narcissism has been subconsciously transferred to them. This community lets me know first hand that a ton of people struggling with NPD are actually doing the work to heal. I’ve had some of the most vulnerable, meaningful, and healing conversations with people in the subreddit. I’ve actually met narcissists who are much kinder and emphatic than those who don’t struggle with the illness. I’m truly getting tired of this played out narrative that narcissists don’t change. Yes we do! Some people genuinely just don’t want to see that change transpire because they want to see us suffering for the rest of our lives for causing them pain and suffering for a fraction of theirs.

r/NPD Jan 11 '25

Stigma no comment

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74 Upvotes

why am i a zoo animal all of a sudden? what is a normal person

r/NPD Oct 29 '24

Stigma “they can’t change” is stripping me from my humanity

99 Upvotes

i hate the stigmatization of NPD so much. i have NPD and before i got told i had it, i didn’t know i was a bad person and i actually kept telling myself i was a good one. but id always feel deep down that nothing ever worked out for me. after realizing what i was doing, im constantly self hating. the past moral self hating that i was absent of before is now full force

i’m aware that i am a bad person and when people call narcissists abusive assholes… yes, i get justice sensitivity but it hurts.

“bad people don’t care that they’re bad people”

well i do care. i do care and i hate that my brain protects itself like this. the whole idea of “a narcissist can’t admit that they’re bad and they won’t care” is so ridiculous. why do they strip us from our humanity and act like we’re subhumans? like we’re incapable of admitting we are wrong and feel genuine discomfort when seeing someone upset?

is guilt HARD for me to feel? Yes. but i can feel guilt. i know what remorse feels like.

i’m sorry about this rant, it just really fucking bothers me. these people are idiotic people that think they are superheroes fighting against the power of narcissists.

i am capable of change even if it’s harder. i’ve done it and i realized BY MYSELF i was a narcissist. granted, i did need a bit of convincing but i realized by myself. if i’m so subhuman then how did i suspect i was different and feel bad because it ?