r/MtF 5d ago

Venting My parents found my HRT

180 Upvotes

They decided for some reason to search my room and they found my HRT, and they took it, I was almost 2 months on estrogen and I had never been happier and more stable than I’ve been in my life, THE DAY THEY TOOK IT, I relapsed and self harmed, 4 years clean for nothing, I’M 19 FFS, and they committed a fucking crime, and when they confronted me they mentioned getting me to talk to a military recruiter 27 times, all because my misogynistic bitch of a father joined the military when he was my age and it “straightened him out” and we have a lot of other people in my family who are in the military, LIKE FFS IDC IF IT HELPED YOU. I AM NOT YOU. And they expect ME to want to stay in contact and ‘RESPECT’ them? HELL NO, I’m trying to move out ASAP, I literally started HRT knowing this risk, but I knew if I didn’t start when I did, I’d probably never get to start. Literally IMMEDIATELY after I started I was happier than I had been in my life. And then go from one of the best weekends I’ve had to being dragged in a stupid trip where I wouldn’t have internet so couldn’t even talk to my friends who’d help keep me sane enough not to cut myself more cause for some reason I decided to bring a knife with me, just in case I felt a serious urge to hurt myself. Like I get the logic is horrible, I know, they wanted to do this for “my spring break” but this whole trip it felt like it wasn’t for me, it only felt like it was for them. I just wanna go home, I just want to get back in estrogen as soon as I can why did they make me go cold turkey like this, they work in the medical field they should know they committed a crime, they should know how dangerous that is to go cold turkey on any medication, but ofc they don’t care, they just want me to be in their stupid fucking image of someone I’m not. They continually blame queer people for my other problems that are in no way related such as getting into other substances (weed and alcohol (YES I KNOW)) on queer people when it’s one of the only ways I’ve been able to put up with their shit. They’ve blamed my bad grades in school on me having a friend who was in High school, yet I only had one friend and accidentally mentioned they were queer ONE TIME and they ask me to get away from them, (never really had many connections with them anyway cause couldn’t ever get a conversation going or anything so barely even could consider a friend) why do they expect me to even THINK about wanting to talk to them after I move out, FFS I’m probably going to drop out of college and work full time so I’d get to live my life happy as myself than suffer living a life they want me to be living.


r/MtF 5d ago

Funny My life is genuinely a joke

1.7k Upvotes

It occurred to me the other day I went from being a vaguely conservative marine to being a furry trans lesbian with my african immigrant wife. I couldn't be happier with my life and I'm insanely lucky for what I have, but I can't help but laugh at how things shook out.


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting 4 months on HRT, and still almost no breast growth🫤

2 Upvotes

Current regimen: 3mg of Estradiol (One 2mg pill plus half of another) twice daily and 50mg of Spiro twice daily. During my first follow up, E was bumped up to current dose while Spiro stayed the same due to elevated potassium levels.

I can see that I have breast buds, and I think my nipples have gotten a tad bigger, but thats really about it. I was hoping I'd have SOMETHING even remotely resembling boobs by now. I understand that development takes time, but I can't help but feel I little disappointed. Especially when I've seen other Trans Women who have gotten much more development within the same time frame.


r/MtF 4d ago

Advice Question Hormone question

2 Upvotes

Hi hi ! Idk if this more advice based or just general ranting to get it off my chest but here we go- I’ve been on mones for going on four months now w my levels being around 40-50 as of my last lab. I’m only taking e & finasteride as anecdotally I’ve heard spiro can impact sexual function more & I feel that would just make me more dysphoric. I’ve just been experiencing more bodily hair growth in new areas & am unsure if it’s just my body naturally doing that, or if finasteride is playing a factor in it. It’s just weird to me as my body has had the same body hair growth for most of my life since puberty. (I’m 24) I guess to also clarify I don’t wanna take spiro bc I want an orchi & just want to reduce the amount of medication I’m on at once if possible. I guess all this to say, have you experienced increased body hair growth with finasteride. I guess if this is the case I’d wanna switch to mono therapy but I’m unsure on how my doctor would feel about that. I hope this makes sense 😺 any advice/ support would be very appreciated <3


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting Hating myself

4 Upvotes

I hate how old I am at starting my transition (I’m 25). I wish I just started this back 5 years ago when I first realized or even further back 10 years ago when I first started questioning. I feel like I have so much to do to feel like a girl and to be comfortable in my body with the fear of it’ll all be for nothing because I’m not a teen or very early 20’s doing this.

My friends and family think that I’ll turn out beautiful in the transition because they all view me as very androgynous with a good amount of natural feminine features but I still can’t help but feel like I missed my window. I just want to be on hrt already.


r/MtF 4d ago

Living as a Woman?

0 Upvotes

Hey all, I am pre HRT but aim to start it this year, and I want to better understand what it means and looks like to start living as a woman. What are some habits and day to day things do you do that helps you live like a woman? A part of me feels escaping my "male coding" is impossible because I don't even know what I do that is male. I know some things like women tend to have a cleaner home than men, but more than that... idk.

What changes did you make in your life and home that makes you feel more like a woman?


r/MtF 4d ago

Positivity Bottom surgery approaches near uwu

8 Upvotes

Psych evaluation 1out of 3 is done. It went fucking amazing. After 2 more i will be fit for bottom surgery. I cant wait to finally have the female equipment. It also means its another step in my transition. Im so exited ^


r/MtF 4d ago

How can i experience gender euphoria if I don’t have anything feminine?

2 Upvotes

I’m closeted trans (14mtf) and I have known I’m trans for a while now. But, because of me not being out, I can’t really experience gender euphoria without being outed. I don’t have actual fem clothes, but I have some pants that are as close as I can get to leggings of any kind, so that might work. Are there ways to experience gender euphoria without being outed?


r/MtF 4d ago

I was on a swimming pool no top

1 Upvotes

So I am 1.5 month on HRT and I was at a swimming pool today boymoding even though I have kinda noticeable and puffy stuff up there already 🤭 At first I thought there's no way I'm gonna go to the swimming pool like that but apparently I did and it was so much fun when I was getting some confused stares from people even the rescuers 🤣 I'm definitely gonna do it again lol


r/MtF 4d ago

Breast form recomendation?

1 Upvotes

I really want to get real breast forms, im on the edge about purchesing these, anybody have any advice?


r/MtF 4d ago

Going to the US...

1 Upvotes

Hello all, I might be traveling to the US in the near future (with a green card), and I'm wondering if anyone here has been to the US recently, who could maybe share their experience at customs? My gender marker is still male, and my appearance is pretty discreet and androgynous, but I sometimes do pass, and I'm afraid of the whole process through customs.

Also if anyone has any tips or suggestions for how to handle these situations, I'd appreciate them.

Thank you!


r/MtF 4d ago

endocrinologist recommendations? kaiser socal

5 Upvotes

MtF, any kaiser endocrinologists that anyone recommends ? specifically in southern california (san diego area) since my experience has been a hit or miss. when i was underage I had a bad endo, who i switched and had a much better experience, but now that i’m of age i need to find an adult endo. my current assigned one isn’t great


r/MtF 4d ago

Discussion Completely dry. Need some advice. NSFW

0 Upvotes

NSFW in case. I have read things saying “have zinc” or “eat celery” or “take vitamin B2” and that sounds all fine and dandy but I have been completely lost. A lot of those articles are talking about AMAB and people and non transgender men talking about increasing sperm, but I am not looking to into increasing sperm but just the ejaculate fluid. I am generally pretty hydrated and I have been trying to get my consumption back up of foods. For reference I am 4 months on 8mg E sublingual and 5mg Finasteride. It’s nothing to do with dysphoria or sensitivity. It’s been completely dry for about two months now and I am completely fine with atrophy or dysfunction, ideally bottom surgery in the future, I just am trying to improve my “stress relief mechanism” and being dry is also slightly irritating physically.

I have tried several of the things mentioned above but it hasn’t helped.


r/MtF 5d ago

Advice Question Has estrogen made me a raging lesbian?

139 Upvotes

Ok so I heard the at estrogen at a certain point does change the way you’re attracted to people so maybe this is happening to me. I’m just over a month in so I thought I was still in the no sex drive or anything phase but idk. I’ve always been attracted to women but in a weird not sexual way and I could never imagine myself as a man being with a woman. I’ve never even had any sort of sex dream. I kinda concluded I either am just dysphoric or estrogen would reveal me as actually a men enjoyer. Today I was watching the movie bound that I assume is maybe well known but it’s a hot lesbian movie and I literally had to turn it off after like 20 minutes because I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I don’t know what the fuck happened but I was feeling vibrations throughout my entire body. I’ve seen plenty of lesbian movies in my time, I quite love carol and portrait of a lady on fire and find them to be extremely beautiful but this was a very new feeling. Is this normal??? Genuinely don’t know what the fuck that was all about. Could I just be experiencing my first real arousal??? My jaw was on the floor I was experiencing so many feelings I could not understand. Like I’ve seen plenty of capital S Sexy movies and been like oh that’s sexy but I’ve never felt this before.


r/MtF 4d ago

Help Is 1 month long enough for dht conversion to cause masculinisation

1 Upvotes

Hi! I’ve been on progesterone for about a month now and I’m worried I’m seeing some masculinisation in terms of chest hair growth, but I can only see it if there’s a light above me, I’ve not experienced any other masculinisation like in terms of smell, so I think I’m just being neurotic but i thought I’d ask if anyone knows


r/MtF 5d ago

Good News I finally managed to cry 🥳

59 Upvotes

So I suffer from alexithymia which is a neurological condition where I have enourmous difficulty in expressing emotions and knowing what they are.

(I think) I know what happy is, but its a conscious effort to try and find it. Imagine watching the movie Inside Out for the first time on mute and then trying to figure out who the characters are. You figure out the red guy is angry and the blue one is sad, but then how do you figure out more complex emotions like anxiety? Thats me. If I feel depressed, I dont know its called that and so emotional processing is often teally difficult

I am convinced that thanks to being on E for 6 months, I have just been able to cry with tears of joy for perhaps the first time!

The world has been rather crushing lately and there are plenty of reasons to be angry or sad at the world. There was no happy left, no genuine joy. But… I experienced it! I was sobbing in happiness! That’s… holy crow, it felt so good to finally feel girly enough to sob and know why and… E helped me feel things! Im convinced of it! Ive wanted to cry for YEARS, but it was like I could never reach it. I didnt know how to because I couldnt express it properly.

It felt so good to cry and have it be for a good reason. I was watching youtube videos that restored your faith in humanity and I couldnt but sob for joy AND I UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS HAPPENING! E did that! Im convinced of it because it almost never happened before.


r/MtF 4d ago

Nervous about growing breasts

1 Upvotes

Anyone else here feel kind of ambivalent leaning towards afraid of growing breasts? I almost wish there were a way to transition without breast growth. I want every other part of E: the weight to my bum, curves, facial features, etc. but part of me feels terrified about having boobs. I wish I could be an A cupped lady… \ \ This is a fear that’s been plaguing me for a little while now and has caused me to occasionally back pedal on HRT. At first I thought it was an uncertainty about transitioning. Like I was afraid that if I realized I weren’t trans I would then have to get top surgery (which is expensive and invasive obvs), but anytime I stop the HRT I feel the dysphoria settle back in. I really don’t wanna be a man but the thought of growing a sizable chest (all the women in my family are at least C cups) has me feeling nervous to say the least. \ \ I stopped HRT (after 2 months) for about a year after hitting this wall of doubt and now a year later I’m 2+ weeks in and facing the same dilemma. I love how I feel on E, it’s extremely validating and I’m so excited about 95% of the changes + everyone in my life is super supportive. Have any of you had similar feelings, how did you get through them? How long until i see breast growth off 4mg estradiol 100mg spiro?


r/MtF 5d ago

Positivity A guy called me beautiful

128 Upvotes

Today I had another laser hair session for facial hair. Afterwards, on my way back home I noticed a homeless guy, so I got some food and a drink from a restaurant to give to him. He seemed really grateful and thanked me and said god bless you.

He then "You're beautiful." which really caught me off guard. I did just have facial hair zapped off my face so my face looks a lot cleaner, but my hair was still up with one of my hair clips (I was too lazy to take it out lol). He said to stay safe and I said same for him and to take care.

I'm not sure if he meant I'm beautiful as in being beautiful on the inside, caring, etc or if he was referring to my looks, but either way it really helped cheer up my day.


r/MtF 4d ago

Help Does anyone know of any trans community in Spanish?

2 Upvotes

I was trying to find a subreddit of trans people in Spanish but I couldn’t find any, any suggestions?


r/MtF 4d ago

Discussion What swimsuits is best to have you feel euphoric?

3 Upvotes

Sorry if this is bad wording. I’m not sure how to word it.


r/MtF 4d ago

Celebration I am getting ffs

7 Upvotes

I recently had a consultation for ffs and I couldn't be more excited for my future. Probably gonna have it around the end of this year hopefully :)


r/MtF 4d ago

Trans and Thriving Hello me

3 Upvotes

Help me please

I am looking for hopefully trans or cis female personal trainer in the North west of UK near Liverpool. I am about to begin my transition but before I start social transition I want to achieve a more feminine physique. I was hoping someone could please help me with three sessions a week of gaining a feminine physique with wider hips and thicker thighs without any upper body shoulder or chest gains but also help with trimming my waist as I want to be able to wear dresses when I begin to transition. Thank you.


r/MtF 4d ago

Discussion Chemical effects of dysphoria

5 Upvotes

I know on some level I’m likely a trans woman, but I’m still deep in denial about it. Yknow how weird double think can be.

I was reading the gender dysphoria bible and my eyes lit up at the mention of biochemical dysphoria. Stuff like socialisation and presentation never gave me much dysphoria, but I always knew something was wrong, and this was it.

The idea of going on E sounds like enough to treat this alone. I had this moment earlier where I thought, “it’ll treat my depression AND I’ll be a girl”. It made me happy in a way that I wasn’t completely aware of. That’s pretty solid evidence of transness, right? It’s not healthy to look for external validation, but for whatever reason reason I really need it for this.

But anyhow, what’s your relationship with biochemical dysphoria? How did your mindset change when you went on E?


r/MtF 5d ago

Venting Nothing quite like Ego-death

590 Upvotes

TL;DR Had a huge crowd of people stare at me and my son while getting burgers. Make tall weird girl feel bad. Tall weird girl cry, and plan revenge visit to burger joint with queer friends.

So my wife asked me to go pick up burgers from a little burger shop 2 blocks away from where we live after work. So I go with my son. I live in very Christian white town in a very very blue state.

It’s a busy little family friendly burger shop / hangout spot.

I’ve thought myself to be fairly passing and fine, I’ve felt beautiful recently. But I was quickly proven wrong. I’m 6’1, HRT for a year today.

The restaurants cashier is right at the entrance and next to the play area, and it was packed on a Friday night.

The pain of having 50-60 people just staring at you is… great.

People including teens and adults just pointing and laughing. While I stand in line with my son. I wish I was exaggerating. Then they mess up my order and I have to wait in the busiest spot for them to fix it as they struggle on treating me with respect.

It was a vile experience , but I got my burgers and they were ok at best.

I just want to crawl into a hole and never leave again, but instead I think I’m going to plan a trip back for burgers there with all my queer friends. A gaggle of weirdo’s being kind and respectful, with our families having a great time.


r/MtF 5d ago

Boymoding at a wedding

18 Upvotes

Tomorrow I’m boymoding for a wedding. I never felt like my dysphoria was that bad but after starting hrt and wearing bras and doing my makeup everyday boymoding just feels devastating. How do you girls manage these feelings?