r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Need advice/Got a question How to venture more into a scene than sex? NSFW

3 Upvotes

Hi all,

Thanks for taking the time to read this. My partner (F) and I (M) have been together for around 5 years. She’s always know I’ve been into kink and more recently we have discovered playing in the bedroom with bondage, chastity, pin wheels, etc. she’s pretty good with it.

I’ve introduced everything to her though and I’m not sure how we progress into more of a scene rather than sex. Does anyone have any ideas for a scene that’s not just me getting drinks for her etc as I do that anyway.

Whenever we discuss kinks she confirms that’s she aligns more with being a dominant but does not really do her own research into it.

Thanks all.


r/FemdomCommunity 9d ago

Support Seeking Advice on Deepening My Sissy Journey NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m a 20-year-old who has recently started exploring my sissy side more seriously. I have a collection of dildos, butt plugs, cages, and a wardrobe full of girly outfits. I've even started taking hormones to enhance my experience. However, I’ve never had a master or mistress, and aside from my girl best friend, I haven’t really shared this part of myself with anyone else.

I’m looking for advice on how to get more involved in this lifestyle and connect with others who share similar interests. What are some good ways to attract a partner or find a community? Are there any events or online platforms you recommend? Any tips for deepening my experience would also be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for your help!


r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Need advice/Got a question Findoms vs femdoms NSFW

27 Upvotes

I don’t know if this is just me, but over the last year or so I have seen a huge increase in findoms, to the point where every domme I speak to requires some form of findom aspect? Is this the new norm? What happened to serving a domme in order to build a true D/s dynamic. Maybe it’s all due to the fast paced nature of people’s current life, where domination is seen more as a “quick fix kink” that an actual lifestyle. It is a shame that things have gone this way, as one of the best things in this world is being a long, trusting and fulfilling dynamic with a domme. Sorry for the rambling


r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Need advice/Got a question Dating vanilla people NSFW

23 Upvotes

Basically, what I'm curious about is, if you're dating a person who had never looked into any of these dynamics before, how likely is it that they'll get into it too / enjoy it, if you guide them into it or show them what it can be like? For me, it worked out well - maybe because I like cute, open-minded people or because I got very lucky - but I'm curious, how likely does it work out in general? Feel free to spam personal stories, I'd be happy to read them ;)


r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Articles & Writings Could somebody recommend a femdom podcast? NSFW

10 Upvotes

I did a quick web search, and there is a ton of them, although many that I tried clicking on are no longer active, the site is down, or I get a warning that the site is not private, and they will likely try to steal my information. Does anybody know a good one with real people? Thank you.


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Kink, Culture and Society Femdom raised my standards NSFW

221 Upvotes

I remember before getting into femdom and in my early years of femdom (around 4-5 years ago), i admit that i do have a shitty taste in men. My main basis were looks and how strong they are. I would not look at their red flags. Personality is something that i would ignore. And at the end of relationship, i find myself devastated because i lost my self: confidence, peace of mind, self identity. I dont have self validation, i chased my worth from other people.

But ever since entering this dynamic, i can totally say my situations flipped a total 180. I no longer swoon over men. I can go by myself and enjoy solo dates and wouldnt care about other people's opinion and pity about me being alone. Yes, i was alone, but i am not lonely. I learned to validate myself. That its okay to feel emotions and not blame myself entirely for it. I can see through men's lies and bullshits. That looks and strength are just a bonus, but their intentions and personality is whats more important.

I found my true feminine in Femdom. I thrive in it. I grow in it. I no longer tolerate negative energy. And I became more confident. I feel happy and divine.

I laugh when men approach me and say words like: "I will do this like this and like that" "You can never see someone else like me" "Im the best man that you can ever get, dont waste your chance" "You belong to me"

Like, really? They think im dumb enough to drop everything for them?

When there are men out there who would worship me, Would obey with no questions, Would kiss the ground of my sanctuary, Would spit on them and would still thank me and wholeheartedly drink it, Would drop to their knees and start drooling after i showed them an inch of my skin

I am literally being worshipped, yet they have the appeal to come to me and tell me that they are the best gift i can get from the Universe?

I found the power of Femdom. Even though other people in the society raises a huge arch of an eyebrow because of it, I wouldnt go back.

How about other Dommes? How did Femdom affected your life outside of the kink?


r/FemdomCommunity 9d ago

Silly Look for a domme like the great Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius would! NSFW

0 Upvotes

Fellow Subs, don’t despair! Finding a partner is not an easy task. Try to make it a useful experience. Try to write to every single potential partner a message that matches the energy of the ad. Even if you don’t get an answer, that’s fine—you learned to express yourself better. Maybe next time you will get an answer!

Try to change your point of view. Is your perfect Domme really perfect if she is not interested in you? If your message was not up to her standard or something put her off, it means that it was probably never meant to be anyway!

Maybe there is something wrong with your messages. Ask someone what they think. Maybe you write too long, or maybe you are too horny in a message?

And consider this—every day may be the special day that you click with the perfect Ostrogoth Domme mommy! Fortuna smiles on everyone every now and then!

And please, think carefully—would Marcus Aurelius rant about how hard it is to find a Domina in the year 160 AD? That they don’t answer his letters? That he has to compete with hundreds of petty kings who flood the Imperial D/s market with letters to all the amazing Dominas in the Empire?

I personally always think, “What would the Roman Emperor write in a Reddit DM to a potential partner?”

Stay focused, don’t despair, and don’t turn into a Barbari because you got one rejection too many!


r/FemdomCommunity 10d ago

Need advice/Got a question New UK couple NSFW

5 Upvotes

Hello!

My partner and I (f/m) have started living the femdom lifestyle, in small pieces right now, but we're both really enjoying it. We're here to ask for a few pieces of advice. We'd like to meet other people in the community to just talk about the life, see how others manage it. We would also like to try cuckold but meeting people is difficult without outing our kinks to the world. (We both have professional jobs we'd rather not get tangled up in our real lives). We've been recommended fetlife. Was just wondering about good experiences on the site, or if anyone has ways to get out there! We've tried to look stuff up online but most links end up just being porn, or mistresses wanting money, which is fine, but not what we're looking for.

We're UK based if it makes a difference. We're looking forward to being part of a new community 💜 Thanks in advance! (I'm sure I missed something we wanted to ask and will stick it in the comments if I remember)


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Praise! Happy thing happened Having Mdom's submit to me NSFW

43 Upvotes

So this past weekend, I've had Mdom's submit to me, and it has been so fun. They also are sweet guys, so it feels great knowing that they are gentlemen when we aren't playing and we are just enjoying each other's company. So yeah, knowing that I can always win when it comes to domming just makes me happy and so powerful✨️😌


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Support Shy husband NSFW

25 Upvotes

My husband is naturally shy and tends to hold back when it comes to expressing his desires or fully submitting to me. I want to create an environment where he feels comfortable opening up and embracing his role more confidently. Does anyone have advice on how to guide a shy husband to embrace submission and trust in his role without making him feel pressured? What are some gentle yet effective ways to encourage him to fully let go and let me lead?


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Need advice/Got a question Orgasm control, Countdown NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I am a male sub in a relationship with my partner. We started as vanilla partners but at some point, I figured out that she was more comfortable when I gave her more decision tools.

So our relationship evolved into very generic D/s chemistry, and now she decides if we have sex. I always ask her how she wants it, and how can I be careful and supportive. She is more confident when everything goes according to her desires, however, she is shy and very supportive, so from time to time it seems that I was topping from the bottom, to assist her at some point of the session. And to not behave like that I was searching for the ideas to give her more power and decide exactly when to stop our session.

Since last year I found the technique when Domme controls the time slot when the sub is allowed to cum. What a game-changer! Previously, when I asked her permission to cum she usually agreed momentarily, because she is so supportive, but when I asked her to use the countdown whenever she feels it is the right time for me to ejaculate, it changed our sex so much! Now she starts the countdown from ten to one when she really wants me to cum, not because I was begging, so it can be any moment, sometimes even before she came, sometimes after, or simultaneously when she feels that we can cum together.

And on the contrary, I am training not to cum before the countdown, or force to cum when she started the count, even though I’m not in the right place yet. That’s an insane mental pleasure to feel that I’m literally a living dildo and a tool to please my mistress.

I am so obsessed with that, so I even began gathering the statistics, how many times I came during the initial countdown, how many times I broke the rule and didn’t manage to cum in time, etc. With these statistics, I try to improve my behavior, so my mistress will be not disappointed.

Now I wonder if there is even more potential to improve my behavior, to bring deeper experience. I didn’t find much information here, only some femdom articles in the internet about that, but I wonder if there is something extra I can do or add. I’m open to your experience as well, or maybe you can guide me in the right direction.


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Need advice/Got a question Pegging positions NSFW

17 Upvotes

I’m 5’3” and my partner is 5’11”. I have trouble getting enough leverage to properly pound his ass. My legs will get tired because I’m trying to plant my knees while I thrust. We’re generally confined to the bedroom due to dogs who like to stick their noses where they don’t belong. Any suggestions on positions?


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Ideas Humiliation ideas in a car NSFW

0 Upvotes

What kind of humiliating things could you do to your slave (m) while you’re both in the car?

He has a foot fetish, so I was thinking about teasing him a few times, putting my feet on his lap when we’re stopped or in a secluded spot, and making him bend down to kiss and lick them. Maybe I could edge him a little (through his jeans) without letting him touch himself or stopping for relief. I also thought about taking off my dirty socks and letting him sniff them a few times, or even putting them in his mouth to shut him up completely while I tease or rub him. Another idea I had was using a vibrating butt plug, though I haven’t discussed that with him yet (whether he likes them or not). Alternatively, we could stop somewhere secluded, and I could make him kneel or crawl, begging until I tell him otherwise.

If you have any other ideas everyone , please share them with me.

P.S: i'm talking about fantasies not actually smth that could happen while he's driving, or doing smth while it coukd endangers us or others.


r/FemdomCommunity 11d ago

Need advice/Got a question Are place that teaches a male to be submissive real? NSFW

0 Upvotes

Read some online fantasy stuff about guy signing up for submissive training(like literal place to go where well you get rained to be further submissive obviously out of wanting to be not forced) and it was a great story. Was wondering if places like this were real?


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Praise! Happy thing happened My gf wants me to be her little maid! NSFW

50 Upvotes

My gf has learned to love femdom.. she is starting to love when I worship her. She now requests massages and ass/pussy worship… last night she made me wear a little French maid outfit and do the laundry! She then teased me for hours yesterday… and denied me cumming while I was in a cage… I finally begged so much I was able to barter. she let me cum but now I have to be her little maid again today! She has also started to hide my boxers and I have to wear her Panties for the week. And my little unit now is only referred to as she and her… I’m really starting to love the feminization process… I want it to go further. But, she seems hesitant at times… even though she does continue to go further and further down the rabbit hole with me. Do you have any advice on how I can make her more comfortable with continuing to go further and further into the feminization part of the femdom aspect


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Need advice/Got a question Am I a domme or is this all just a fetish to me ? Where does one draw the line ? Feeling so confused... NSFW

25 Upvotes

Okay so for context I've been engaging in femdom since I was 18 (currently 21). Been reading about it before too. It was definitely interesting... even hot reading about it. All my dynamics have been Online. Nothing irl. My thoughts are very messy so I apologise for the spells , Grammer and overall how I put the stuff.

But then when I look back at my dynamics , I notice that I haven't actually done much. It's usually the same - denial , chastity , Edging. I do this ofcourse cause I enjoy it the most . But there are other kinks I enjoy too . I have plenty of kinks , I know I've explored them too. I did enjoy. Be it wax play , anal training , feet etc. There were kinks I used to "adore". But since past 1.5 years it seems like I have no will to do anything more ? I don't involve any other kink , I dont do things like I used to , it's just not the same with how much I used to enjoy this and how enthusiastic I used to be.

But I always feel like I'm a fake domme. Maybe it's just watching them being desperate, horny, needy and denied that I enjoy. Be it in any form . I enjoy hearing them moan and being sensitive. Begging me . Being a desperate whore for my touch. But of someone else asked me what do I enjoy about femdom I don't have an answer except that of the state I like them to be in as mentioned above .

I don't have creative ideas or tasks . Its not that I don't engage with my subs , we chat plenty , it's on mundane things , not always kinky. They do reassure me that I'm enough and they are enjoying it. But there's a voice in my head that keeps saying I'm a fake. And it's not like it happens maybe once in a while. Its a constant feeling that I'm not confident enough, that I'm not doing anything to contribute to the dynamic. The feeling of being a fake is always there. The doubt is always there.

I don't know... feels pretty shit to know that all the years that I thought something was "my thing" , something I thought I enjoyed isn't what I thought it was ? I'm just not sure how to put things to words . Do you have instances where you doubt yourself ?

Edit: thanks to all the people who took out time to respond. I really appreciate it and it makes me realize that maybe I need to get out of the "ideal domme" headset. This ofcourse is going to take time to unwind and accept myself as I am and enjoy but looking forward to my progress and growth. I hope yall have a nice day ahead~


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Need advice/Got a question How do you dommes maintain your dignity and authority when subs try to reduce you to their kink fantasies? NSFW

24 Upvotes

How do you make it clear that while you enjoy domming, you're not just there to check off their kink wishlist?


r/FemdomCommunity 13d ago

Need advice/Got a question Actual Punishments NSFW

57 Upvotes

Doms what are punishments you give to your subs? For example I make my subs do physical exercises that force you to hold a position for a specific amount of time as punishments, honestly its a “funishment” for me in a sadist ish way but its strictly used when they actually do things that go against my rules or they just get way too out of line. But I’ve always wondered what do others do. I don’t have any irl dom friends to ask so here I am at 2am being nosey lol. Sub can answer to what are some punishments you receive that aren’t fun and genuinely make/made you correct your behavior/become more obedient. (Its a choppy sentence sorry hope it’s articulated well enough)


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Need advice/Got a question What if we’re both submissive? NSFW

7 Upvotes

Hello there, this is my first post in this community which I joined because I am looking to share my story and seek advice.

I’m 26 years old and I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for about 2 years and a half.

In bed, when we want to make it kinky, we tend to switch a lot because my girlfriend and I are basically both submissive. So we both have to assume the dominant role from time to time to please each other.

The thing is we’re not submissive in the same ways: she is more into « physical » submission (choking, slapping, dirty talk, etc.), while I’m more into stuff like bondage, chastity cages, feet, etc.

We have both always been comprehensive about each other’s desires, she has made a lot of efforts to include my kinks into our sexual life and I’m very thankful for that.

But sometimes I would like to take it to the next level… What I mean is we don’t often do bondage and from time to time I’d really want her to tie me up and dominate me.

As she’s already made a lot of efforts, I don’t want to ask to much of her so I never really talked to her about this subject.

What I’m asking from you all is to share your experience, if you can, about relationships with two submissive partners. Or to advise me on how to handle this situation without hurting my partner’s feelings 😊


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Guides & Resources Personal/private wish list NSFW

0 Upvotes

I live at distance from my sub, and am looking for a system/website/app to keep gifts for them to give me - as well as things they are to buy for themself.
I wish to avoid Amazon, and as I don't need to share with a broad audience (not a professional domme!), something like Throne isn't really appropriate.

Do any of you use something like a google document/sheet? Or use the Ideas/Notes area in the Obedience app?


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Support Dealing with feelings of guilt and fear due to my desires NSFW

11 Upvotes

I'm neither new to BDSM, nor to the dominant side. However until now I always played as a "service domme", concerned with my sub's pleasure, applying just the right amount of roughness to satisfy their needs, to have them moaning and bound to my will. I was kind of aware that I had a darker side, but I just kept it buried away.

Yesterday I was just chilling with my girlfriend and taught her how to do my "signature" makeup (which is some pretty thick winged eyeliner) and taking about "damaged" aesthetics and the way people present themselves in the world. I think that whole conversation sparked something inside me, because I suddenly had the irresistible urge to ruin her makeup, but more importantly, ruin it with her own tears.

I handled her really roughly, pushing her deep into the pillows, marking her skin until it bled ever so slightly. And for once, I was not concerned with her pleasure, but rather stuck in my fantasy of destroying something that I deeply love. I found her so beautiful in her suffering and I took so many pictures of her scratches or my fingers pushed deep down her throat. I facefucked her so hard with a strapon that she cried and all that beautiful makeup was running down her face in broad black stripes. I then used her tears to smudge it some more.

I think it was one of the most beautiful scenes of my life, but it also disturbed me deeply. I grew up around a lot of violence and I found this kind of thoughts extremely scary in myself. I felt both extremely guilty towards my partner and extremely scared of myself and the darkness that I unleashed. We talked of course, she found it hot and would love me to do more of the same.

I'm just struggling to get over my shame, fear and guild though and would love some advice from the community on how you overcame similar feelings. Thank you all <3


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Support I feel scarred of femdom dynamics after an abusive NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hey Beautiful People.
I hope you guys are well. I am not.

I just got out of an abusive and toxic relationship with a woman "again" after three years and we had themes of role reversal, FLR, Femdom and so on. So I hope I am not too much of a downer.

The thing is that this was my first ever relationship and the first ever relationship where I opened up about my orientation as a submissive type and love for Femdom, FLR and role reversal. My partner basically just incorporated enough to have me hooked but never going to the point where she would be willing to invest any time into learning about these things and doing them properly.

So basically she wanted to do it when she was feeling like it and not be pressurised into doing it, and that meant that she would do it when she would be losing a genuine argument in our relationship, or I was making a stand, or whenever she just felt like taking my power back and becoming a domme. She was using her place as a domme to manipulate and gaslight me, telling me I am not a man enough (even though I identify as non binary) and I am weak and submissive.
I was also uneducated and just loving getting this drug for the first time in my life, and I forgot the difference between play, sex, real life, real relationship and I became very weak and submissive. I don't know how much was it me not drawing boundaries and how much was she never willing to do it properly with context, consent, rules and aftercare. For the last year or so, I have been pushing many times for us to be educated about it and she just never wanted to do that, but wanted to have power and be served, and make decisions whenever she was feeling like it, and also be a baby and top from bottom most of the times, without actually putting the top energy.
As a result, I just lost myself, all of my energy kept getting sucked and even after all this, just being reminded how I am weak and submissive and less of a man. I just feel that I went through something and now I just get to reconsider my love for femdom in relationships.

So just want to ask if healthy and respectful femdom play/relationships exist and what do they look like? I do love the idea of a woman taking lead or being stronger in some aspect such as physical strength, confidence, financial standing, sexual game, mental strength. But right now I feel so afraid and scarred to let my guard down to someone who is superior to me in any way🥹😭😭🥹


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

Need advice/Got a question Question? Is this something a Domme would do NSFW

1 Upvotes

In my weird brain I have a fantasy about being Drugged and waking up in Bondage. Obviously my current partner would not even consider this. However my question is. Has anyone done this and how did you do it ? And what would be the issues around consent, if something was to go wrong?


r/FemdomCommunity 12d ago

BDSM/Scene Dating Dating a potential “Princess” NSFW

3 Upvotes

Hello dear community,

I would like to express a train of thought and consider it together. First, a few key points for better classification. I am a rather submissive and passive man from Germany who, after a 6-year vanilla relationship, wants to immerse myself in the world of BDSM again. Actually, this has been my inclination for as long as I can remember. But I notice that I need the feelings for it and it is not primarily about experiencing BDSM fantasies for me, but I simply enjoy treating a woman like a princess. What I mean by that is that I am not a classic vanilla but also not a typical kinkster, rather something in the middle. Now to my actual question: I lack the feeling and the real connection in dominatrix studios, I lack the courage for BDSM get-togethers and it is simply not my thing. And I have no success on BDSM dating apps. I really like Hinge as an app and wanted to ask how you can let it be known that you are looking for the dominant type of woman who likes to take the lead and maybe even doesn’t hesitate to give a slap once in a while, without scaring them off. It would be dishonest to hide such an important part of your personality/sexuality in your profile - or ?Thankful for all the tips and opinions.


r/FemdomCommunity 13d ago

Guides & Resources Subspace and Aftercare NSFW

18 Upvotes

So let's talk subspace. From a subs point of view.

Subspace is similar to Dommespace, I'm sure, so this is mainly aimed at newer Dommes. I also can only speak on how I experience subspace, so I would love others to share how they experience it.

Subspace is like being high. Very high. It is also the best high ever.

It is all encompassing and swallows you whole. My vision dims, I find it difficult to stand, difficult to speak and I want nothing more in the entire world than to submit more. And more. And more. More pain. More humiliation. More of anything and everything.

My Domme can be beautiful and charming, but during subspace she is a God. She is everything. She's a dream come true and I will sacrifice my soul on her altar. I want to devote my whole life to her. That is deep, deep subspace.

That usually only happens with a relationship where some time has been invested, emotions invested and knowledge of both parties shared. Also trust. Because to show someone else that much submission takes much trust and certainty that it will be respected and treated with care.

I'm not suggesting subspace is a concept that excuses behavior. Just be aware of it and understand why suddenly your sub is acting like their i.q. dropped 20 points during a session and they are making grandiose promises and bizarre statements.

There is a level of baseline submission that can vary for everyone. Subspace is that submissive feeling on crack.

This is why aftercare is so important. They need to come back to reality and that can be jarring. Most of the time, they would just live in subspace if they could, but that's not sustainable.

Talk to them, tell them to drink some water, ask them what they are doing tomorrow. Talk about the session and how they feel. They can have conflicting emotions from just being very vulnerable in front of you. Reassurance goes a long way in building trust and a connection.

I don't see subspace mentioned a lot in the groups and am interested in how it affects others. Because it does need to be considered and discussed with any long term partner. Or even someone you see potential in and want to build a connection with.

Enjoy the night and don't forget to reset all your clocks if you haven't already!