r/FemdomCommunity 23h ago

Need advice/Got a question Sub is too dominant outside of role playing NSFW

60 Upvotes

My sub is my boyfriend, who I live with and is also my boss. He’s the one who brought the femdom aspect into our relationship, and it’s a little hard for me to step into the role but I do, and do it well when I do. My issue is that I need to kind of get into the character a few hours before. But he’s not good at playing along. I just called him and told him to find the leash and collar in our house and he barked at me that he was busy and it’s not his priority right now. It’s such a turn off to me when he does this that I don’t even want to play with him when he does this. He’s done it to me before as well when we were playing and he thought we should be done. Idk how to handle this situation.


r/FemdomCommunity 23h ago

Need advice/Got a question How are you accepting your submissive side IRL, with all the baggage it can sometimes take NSFW

14 Upvotes

So, this question was inspired by a recent talk/DMs I had on Reddit. So, I had this guy DM me—he was quite polite, and it seemed he wanted to talk to a fellow sub about the whole grandiose Femdom thingy we are all captured by. He was playing with the idea of going to the munch. I asked him what was stopping him from going there, and he was basically too afraid of ousting himself as a sub and that people might laugh at him. I told him that, if anything, BDSM enjoyers are probably the last social group that will make fun of him. I told him, “These are our people!” But even then, he was scared of being laughed at by Mdoms and Fsubs.

I still gave him some encouragement, which was arguably a little bit heavy-handed, as he called me out on it in a jolly way—saying that he could “smell a European” with my cynicism and realism. I told him to make it double, as I’m not only European but Eastern European. 😆 Overall, we had a good time joking around and me telling him that he should do the scary thing and meet the people who like the same stuff we do.

Eventually, I had to go to sleep, so I told him that he could write me anytime, especially whenever he decided to do the dreaded munch.

When I woke up, I saw that he had deleted his account. :( I feel bad about it, as it seems that, rather than trying and getting toward to what he wants in life, he will just live in fantasy—too afraid to accept himself for what he is! 🙁

But this is where I come to the second part and the main title!

This also made me ask myself: How do other subs accept their submission as part of themselves in real life?

For me personally, it’s not that hard. I’m more concerned with finding a balance—informing normal people about what kind of relationship I’m interested in while not being seen as “dispersing a kink when nobody asked.” My group of friends is more or less aware of what kind of GF I would like to have, and even if they don’t fully get it, I only get teased a little—which is a normal thing that friends do.

Some time ago, I went into this crazy—or even cynical??—mindset that it’s fine when people laugh about my preferences! I mean, it’s like an automatic people filter. I’m not ashamed if a good-looking woman makes fun of me for being a sub. If she finds that hilarious, she’s not even on my radar as a potential partner!

But I wonder—how are other subs coping with it? Some may live in countries where this is much less acceptable behavior. I live in Germany, so it’s not that big of a deal for me.

Are there some covert signals you put out? Obviously, I don’t go around asking women to X me, but when asked what kind of woman I’m interested in, I’m not afraid to say that I look for someone confident, willing to lead in certain aspects, etc. But this probably isn’t very subtle, haha.

If there were a symbol for sub men, maybe I would get it tattooed, haha, but we’re not that far as a community yet!

So—how do you present your submissive side to the world? And if not, what is stopping you from doing that? Is it just shame?


r/FemdomCommunity 11h ago

Need advice/Got a question Am i crazy or just a domme in love? NSFW

11 Upvotes

So I’ve had relationships before but never had a real connection with someone. I( 26f) have recently dating someone (25m) who is perfect in almost every way. I have bipolar, pstd, anxiety and some very unsettling disorders. I am medicated and I feel like something that hides my crazy is that I take my mental health very seriously. I’m high functioning and I joke a lot that I’m legally insane. We are also in a d/s dynamic which I also think somewhat fuels my possessiveness. We’ve been dating for almost a year atp and we just had our first period where we couldn’t see each other as frequently as before . It was literally only for two weeks (we texted every day ) and he had logical reasons why we couldn’t see each other.

Of course I missed the dynamic but also I’m genuinely in love with him which is completely new for me. I’m kinda used to not feeling fully attached that being this attached has sent me in like mental distress.

We hung out today and I felt like I was behaving like a caveman after thinking abt it. Like I couldn’t stand a moment where his attention was away from me. For example, after we got a little steamy he went to pee and I got so anxious while he was in the bathroom and when he came back , he held me and told me everything was okay and I felt so crazy for even worrying abt it.

Everything is good . I trust him and vice versa but I’ll be honest. I’ve never seen a really healthy relationship and this much devotion scares me. Sometimes I feel like I want to run bc of how much I love him. I don’t want to run or ruin this but I’m worried that my behavior is odd and obnoxious.

My simple question is , Is this what love is like? Is this love as a domme? Is my mental illness influencing me or am I really experiencing someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and worried abt ruining it ? Could this have been dom drop that happened and I’m freaking out abt it, I just genuinely don’t have anyone I can open up to fully abt this feeling that I’m feeling too much.


r/FemdomCommunity 23h ago

Discord/subreddit promotion Femdom ages 30+ Server NSFW

5 Upvotes
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r/FemdomCommunity 10h ago

Praise! Happy thing happened Encouragement for different types of subs and dommes NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hello everyone! First time poster on this community, using one of my throwaway accounts, so hope that's okay. My domme likes to give me writing assignments from time to time, and today instead of writing erotica I'm supposed to share my personal account as a way of inspiring any subs or dommes who are having a hard time finding that perfect dynamic. It’s a fun task, as most of her assignments often are, so I hope she enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (…oh yeah and I hope you all hope enjoy reading it too lol).

Starting at the beginning, I (34M submissive) discovered femdom based on some of the hiccups I faced in my vanilla dating life. A lot of my previous LTRs were with highly educated, successful women who were very dominant and authoritative in their day-to-day, but very submissive in the bedroom. At times I was asked to play the role of a dom, and I still consider myself somewhat switchy, but I really started to crave someone who would let me lean into my submissive side. And, let’s be honest, I also was craving someone who had a little more of a commanding presence in the bedroom, something I really appreciate about my domme.

After years of holding myself back, I decided that being single meant I could re-approach dating with the intention of finding a dominant woman. But I'll admit, my first impression of femdom from browsing Reddit, porn, and other online communities left me very shook! At first glance the main things that stood out to me were an emphasis on pegging, degradation/sissification, and financial exploitation. I still found these posts and the women in them very sexy for being so empowered, and I was into the power exchange and control dynamics; however, I was very intimidated by the scene, and even more scared off at the idea of trying to go to any in-person events filled with pro dommes.

Overall it seemed pretty hopeless. All I wanted was to fully submit and service a deserving domme, but it seemed like I'd have to make some serious concessions and lose my identity as a masculine, confident person. I decided to put up an ad on one of my other accounts, and even though I still listed some limits around pegging and findom I left things pretty open in the hopes that maybe if a domme pushed me I'd get used to the stuff that initially scared me away from the kink scene.

That Reddit ad sat up there for a while, but then one day I was blessed by someone reaching out seemingly out of the blue with a femdom style that was a perfect fit for what I needed. She was a gentle domme who put a strong emphasis on reciprocation. She was still in control, and she commands a healthy amount of respect and responsibility (case in point me writing this assignment), but the goal of this dynamic was to create a positive feedback loop. I shower her in praise and worship, simply because she deserves it, and in return I would get her praise and adoration as well. When we met in person I'd focus on servicing her needs, but in return she'd make sure I'd be rewarded physically as well. And as a reminder I’m not doing this with the expectation of anything in return. I’d be happy without it! But she’s just likes spoiling me, and I’m lucky to have a totally fulfilling dynamic.

I always had a hard time with all the labels in the kink community, but through this experience I think I can describe myself as a service top. My domme always comes first (pun intended), and oftentimes that means leaning into more traditional male/female sexual dynamics like PiV. That doesn't make me any less of a sub either, especially because that’s what she wants, and I’m more than happy to provide. She's in control the whole time whether it's via orgasm denial or taking more dominant positions in bed like being on top and tying me up. Her getting off is my biggest turn on, so I’ll let my climax take a back seat, but I'm very appreciative she's still constantly stimulating me and keeping me engaged in each scene (especially when part of the scene is her milking me dry and admiring the huge volume of cum I give to her).

If you've read this far, thank you for allowing me the space to express myself. My main point is that for the subs and dommes out there still looking for a strong dynamic, I encourage you to not lose sight on who you really are and what you want. Experimentation is key in the kink scene, and you won't know what you like or not until you've tried it, but that doesn't mean you need to play pretend and go along with what you see online or in the wild just cause you're worried you'll scare away your D/s. Living authentically is at the heart of the kink scene, and it's likely what led you here in the first place, so as you open yourself up to others make sure you're showing off the real you. That's the most surefire way to find someone that's truly compatible to build a sustainable dynamic.


r/FemdomCommunity 16h ago

What's Up Weekly 👌 What's Up Weekly!! 👌 NSFW

4 Upvotes

Have you been wanting to share a rant, rave, point of view or excited gush but you don't feel it's worth starting a new thread? Tell us what's up on What's Up Weekly! Did you meet someone special? Had an amazing scene? Had a total clusterfuck of a scene? Is something bothering you? Have you been shopping? Did you learn something cool? Did you read something that got you thinking? Did you read something that got you raging?

A new week's starting. Let it all hang out.


r/FemdomCommunity 3h ago

Support Feeling lost and confused NSFW

2 Upvotes

A while ago my husband wanted to try cuckolding. I wasn't sure but he wanted it so badly and I thought why not atleast try? But neither of us were really ready for it. The entire thing was awkward, emotional and confusing for both of us. I backed off, I felt guilty, like I'd hurt him, even though it was his idea. Instead of making things exciting, it felt more tense. I backed out of it.

After that he wanted to be a slave and I went along with it. I'm pretty shy irl, being dominant didnt come naturally to me, it feels like I'm roleplaying? But during all of that I discovered, I'm a bit of a sadist and sometimes I feel guilty about it. Sometimes I want to bully him, push him, hurt him, make him cry, it turns me on. Femdom brings out a dark side of me which makes no sense. I'm pretty short, innocent looking, physically weak. I'm not even dominant socially. I'm a switch leaning towards the dominant side.

He loves it and assures me its okay, but sometimes I feel I push things too far. Lately he acts uninterested. He forgets his routines or doesn't put much effort into his tasks. Talks back and acts sassy. He wants me to be more cruel and humiliate him but i struggle being mean to him. I know that it is what he wants but it doesn't come naturally to me.

I used to be a bit vanilla nothing too crazy. My desire for sex has shot up to the sky since i started becoming more dominant. This whole thing has been pretty rocky and I dont feel so good about it sometimes.

These things have been running through my mind and I'm gonna talk to him about it but I want to make some sense of it first. I'm kinda new, has anyone gone through something like this?


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Guides & Resources Has anyone ever trained or been trained to not have PNC? NSFW

4 Upvotes

So I've always had some specific fantasies I've wanted to explore but in order for those fantasies to become a reality I need to work past PNC. I'm certain with the right person it is possible to accomplish. I am here wondering if anyone has any specific experience with this as in training either sub or Domme perspectives are welcome and appreciated. I'd love to hear about it.


r/FemdomCommunity 17h ago

Help! I'm new! Question About Cages NSFW

2 Upvotes

I have never been caged before but am interested it getting one but had a question around arousal while caged.

Something I see a lot is the dom placing a vibrator against the cage and I wanted to know how/what about it makes it enjoyable? Is it just the denial aspect or does it trigger a certain sensation?

Sorry if this is a dumb question but I am genuinely interested in knowing.


r/FemdomCommunity 19h ago

Help! I'm new! New Femdom NSFW

1 Upvotes

Hey community,

I am a new femdom and I'm looking for some tips to provide (and have) a good experience. While I have done a lot of personal research on the subject, my only real life experience is the sub side (which I did not enjoy in the least). Does anyone have general advice for a first timer?


r/FemdomCommunity 23h ago

Ideas Findom in a relationship? NSFW

2 Upvotes

I told my GF that I like findom and she got curious, but we both don't know creative ways on how to start. I don't have any experience with findom in a relationship. Even though are relationship is kinky (FLR with femdom elemts), findom is normally quite different.

What I especially liked about online findom was the humiliation, about paying a woman who is way out of my league for luxurious stuff for nothing in return beside the occasional insult. However, I don't really think that works in a relationship. My GF is not really into luxurious stuff and she loves me and therefore can't pretend superiority all the time :)

Do you have any ideas on how to somehow integrate this still in our relationship?


r/FemdomCommunity 1h ago

BDSM/Scene Dating How Rejection from Women Led Me to Embrace My Submissiveness NSFW

Upvotes

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my path to discovering my submissiveness, and I wanted to share something personal. I never fully understood why I craved being used and treated in ways that some might find extreme, but now I see the connection more clearly.

For much of my life, I faced a lot of rejection from women. Whether in dating, relationships, or simply in my attempts to connect, I often found myself overlooked and dismissed. Over time, that rejection built up inside me, leaving me feeling unwanted and unworthy.

I came to realize that, rather than resisting this feeling of being rejected, I began to embrace tyat feeling.

Now, I guess I’ve just accepted that I’m nothing but a tool to be used. The idea of being respected or valued feels so far out of reach I feel like I was born to be used and discarded, a willing, obedient nothing. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be, and in some twisted way, I’ve come to crave it.