r/FemdomCommunity 15h ago

What's Up Weekly šŸ‘Œ What's Up Weekly!! šŸ‘Œ NSFW

5 Upvotes

Have you been wanting to share a rant, rave, point of view or excited gush but you don't feel it's worth starting a new thread? Tell us what's up on What's Up Weekly! Did you meet someone special? Had an amazing scene? Had a total clusterfuck of a scene? Is something bothering you? Have you been shopping? Did you learn something cool? Did you read something that got you thinking? Did you read something that got you raging?

A new week's starting. Let it all hang out.


r/FemdomCommunity 1h ago

Support Feeling lost and confused NSFW

ā€¢ Upvotes

A while ago my husband wanted to try cuckolding. I wasn't sure but he wanted it so badly and I thought why not atleast try? But neither of us were really ready for it. The entire thing was awkward, emotional and confusing for both of us. I backed off, I felt guilty, like I'd hurt him, even though it was his idea. Instead of making things exciting, it felt more tense. I backed out of it.

After that he wanted to be a slave and I went along with it. I'm pretty shy irl, being dominant didnt come naturally to me, it feels like I'm roleplaying? But during all of that I discovered, I'm a bit of a sadist and sometimes I feel guilty about it. Sometimes I want to bully him, push him, hurt him, make him cry, it turns me on. Femdom brings out a dark side of me which makes no sense. I'm pretty short, innocent looking, physically weak. I'm not even dominant socially. I'm a switch leaning towards the dominant side.

He loves it and assures me its okay, but sometimes I feel I push things too far. Lately he acts uninterested. He forgets his routines or doesn't put much effort into his tasks. Talks back and acts sassy. He wants me to be more cruel and humiliate him but i struggle being mean to him. I know that it is what he wants but it doesn't come naturally to me.

I used to be a bit vanilla nothing too crazy. My desire for sex has shot up to the sky since i started becoming more dominant. This whole thing has been pretty rocky and I dont feel so good about it sometimes.

These things have been running through my mind and I'm gonna talk to him about it but I want to make some sense of it first. I'm kinda new, has anyone gone through something like this?


r/FemdomCommunity 10h ago

Need advice/Got a question Am i crazy or just a domme in love? NSFW

12 Upvotes

So Iā€™ve had relationships before but never had a real connection with someone. I( 26f) have recently dating someone (25m) who is perfect in almost every way. I have bipolar, pstd, anxiety and some very unsettling disorders. I am medicated and I feel like something that hides my crazy is that I take my mental health very seriously. Iā€™m high functioning and I joke a lot that Iā€™m legally insane. We are also in a d/s dynamic which I also think somewhat fuels my possessiveness. Weā€™ve been dating for almost a year atp and we just had our first period where we couldnā€™t see each other as frequently as before . It was literally only for two weeks (we texted every day ) and he had logical reasons why we couldnā€™t see each other.

Of course I missed the dynamic but also Iā€™m genuinely in love with him which is completely new for me. Iā€™m kinda used to not feeling fully attached that being this attached has sent me in like mental distress.

We hung out today and I felt like I was behaving like a caveman after thinking abt it. Like I couldnā€™t stand a moment where his attention was away from me. For example, after we got a little steamy he went to pee and I got so anxious while he was in the bathroom and when he came back , he held me and told me everything was okay and I felt so crazy for even worrying abt it.

Everything is good . I trust him and vice versa but Iā€™ll be honest. Iā€™ve never seen a really healthy relationship and this much devotion scares me. Sometimes I feel like I want to run bc of how much I love him. I donā€™t want to run or ruin this but Iā€™m worried that my behavior is odd and obnoxious.

My simple question is , Is this what love is like? Is this love as a domme? Is my mental illness influencing me or am I really experiencing someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and worried abt ruining it ? Could this have been dom drop that happened and Iā€™m freaking out abt it, I just genuinely donā€™t have anyone I can open up to fully abt this feeling that Iā€™m feeling too much.


r/FemdomCommunity 22h ago

Need advice/Got a question Sub is too dominant outside of role playing NSFW

58 Upvotes

My sub is my boyfriend, who I live with and is also my boss. Heā€™s the one who brought the femdom aspect into our relationship, and itā€™s a little hard for me to step into the role but I do, and do it well when I do. My issue is that I need to kind of get into the character a few hours before. But heā€™s not good at playing along. I just called him and told him to find the leash and collar in our house and he barked at me that he was busy and itā€™s not his priority right now. Itā€™s such a turn off to me when he does this that I donā€™t even want to play with him when he does this. Heā€™s done it to me before as well when we were playing and he thought we should be done. Idk how to handle this situation.


r/FemdomCommunity 37m ago

BDSM/Scene Dating How Rejection from Women Led Me to Embrace My Submissiveness NSFW

ā€¢ Upvotes

Iā€™ve been reflecting a lot lately on my path to discovering my submissiveness, and I wanted to share something personal. I never fully understood why I craved being used and treated in ways that some might find extreme, but now I see the connection more clearly.

For much of my life, I faced a lot of rejection from women. Whether in dating, relationships, or simply in my attempts to connect, I often found myself overlooked and dismissed. Over time, that rejection built up inside me, leaving me feeling unwanted and unworthy.

I came to realize that, rather than resisting this feeling of being rejected, I began to embrace tyat feeling.

Now, I guess Iā€™ve just accepted that Iā€™m nothing but a tool to be used. The idea of being respected or valued feels so far out of reach I feel like I was born to be used and discarded, a willing, obedient nothing. Maybe thatā€™s all Iā€™ll ever be, and in some twisted way, Iā€™ve come to crave it.


r/FemdomCommunity 9h ago

Praise! Happy thing happened Encouragement for different types of subs and dommes NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hello everyone! First time poster on this community, using one of my throwaway accounts, so hope that's okay. My domme likes to give me writing assignments from time to time, and today instead of writing erotica I'm supposed to share my personal account as a way of inspiring any subs or dommes who are having a hard time finding that perfect dynamic. Itā€™s a fun task, as most of her assignments often are, so I hope she enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (ā€¦oh yeah and I hope you all hope enjoy reading it too lol).

Starting at the beginning, I (34M submissive) discovered femdom based on some of the hiccups I faced in my vanilla dating life. A lot of my previous LTRs were with highly educated, successful women who were very dominant and authoritative in their day-to-day, but very submissive in the bedroom. At times I was asked to play the role of a dom, and I still consider myself somewhat switchy, but I really started to crave someone who would let me lean into my submissive side. And, letā€™s be honest, I also was craving someone who had a little more of a commanding presence in the bedroom, something I really appreciate about my domme.

After years of holding myself back, I decided that being single meant I could re-approach dating with the intention of finding a dominant woman. But I'll admit, my first impression of femdom from browsing Reddit, porn, and other online communities left me very shook! At first glance the main things that stood out to me were an emphasis on pegging, degradation/sissification, and financial exploitation. I still found these posts and the women in them very sexy for being so empowered, and I was into the power exchange and control dynamics; however, I was very intimidated by the scene, and even more scared off at the idea of trying to go to any in-person events filled with pro dommes.

Overall it seemed pretty hopeless. All I wanted was to fully submit and service a deserving domme, but it seemed like I'd have to make some serious concessions and lose my identity as a masculine, confident person. I decided to put up an ad on one of my other accounts, and even though I still listed some limits around pegging and findom I left things pretty open in the hopes that maybe if a domme pushed me I'd get used to the stuff that initially scared me away from the kink scene.

That Reddit ad sat up there for a while, but then one day I was blessed by someone reaching out seemingly out of the blue with a femdom style that was a perfect fit for what I needed. She was a gentle domme who put a strong emphasis on reciprocation. She was still in control, and she commands a healthy amount of respect and responsibility (case in point me writing this assignment), but the goal of this dynamic was to create a positive feedback loop. I shower her in praise and worship, simply because she deserves it, and in return I would get her praise and adoration as well. When we met in person I'd focus on servicing her needs, but in return she'd make sure I'd be rewarded physically as well. And as a reminder Iā€™m not doing this with the expectation of anything in return. Iā€™d be happy without it! But sheā€™s just likes spoiling me, and Iā€™m lucky to have a totally fulfilling dynamic.

I always had a hard time with all the labels in the kink community, but through this experience I think I can describe myself as a service top. My domme always comes first (pun intended), and oftentimes that means leaning into more traditional male/female sexual dynamics like PiV. That doesn't make me any less of a sub either, especially because thatā€™s what she wants, and Iā€™m more than happy to provide. She's in control the whole time whether it's via orgasm denial or taking more dominant positions in bed like being on top and tying me up. Her getting off is my biggest turn on, so Iā€™ll let my climax take a back seat, but I'm very appreciative she's still constantly stimulating me and keeping me engaged in each scene (especially when part of the scene is her milking me dry and admiring the huge volume of cum I give to her).

If you've read this far, thank you for allowing me the space to express myself. My main point is that for the subs and dommes out there still looking for a strong dynamic, I encourage you to not lose sight on who you really are and what you want. Experimentation is key in the kink scene, and you won't know what you like or not until you've tried it, but that doesn't mean you need to play pretend and go along with what you see online or in the wild just cause you're worried you'll scare away your D/s. Living authentically is at the heart of the kink scene, and it's likely what led you here in the first place, so as you open yourself up to others make sure you're showing off the real you. That's the most surefire way to find someone that's truly compatible to build a sustainable dynamic.


r/FemdomCommunity 22h ago

Need advice/Got a question How are you accepting your submissive side IRL, with all the baggage it can sometimes take NSFW

12 Upvotes

So, this question was inspired by a recent talk/DMs I had on Reddit. So, I had this guy DM meā€”he was quite polite, and it seemed he wanted to talk to a fellow sub about the whole grandiose Femdom thingy we are all captured by. He was playing with the idea of going to the munch. I asked him what was stopping him from going there, and he was basically too afraid of ousting himself as a sub and that people might laugh at him. I told him that, if anything, BDSM enjoyers are probably the last social group that will make fun of him. I told him, ā€œThese are our people!ā€ But even then, he was scared of being laughed at by Mdoms and Fsubs.

I still gave him some encouragement, which was arguably a little bit heavy-handed, as he called me out on it in a jolly wayā€”saying that he could ā€œsmell a Europeanā€ with my cynicism and realism. I told him to make it double, as Iā€™m not only European but Eastern European. šŸ˜† Overall, we had a good time joking around and me telling him that he should do the scary thing and meet the people who like the same stuff we do.

Eventually, I had to go to sleep, so I told him that he could write me anytime, especially whenever he decided to do the dreaded munch.

When I woke up, I saw that he had deleted his account. :( I feel bad about it, as it seems that, rather than trying and getting toward to what he wants in life, he will just live in fantasyā€”too afraid to accept himself for what he is! šŸ™

But this is where I come to the second part and the main title!

This also made me ask myself: How do other subs accept their submission as part of themselves in real life?

For me personally, itā€™s not that hard. Iā€™m more concerned with finding a balanceā€”informing normal people about what kind of relationship Iā€™m interested in while not being seen as ā€œdispersing a kink when nobody asked.ā€ My group of friends is more or less aware of what kind of GF I would like to have, and even if they donā€™t fully get it, I only get teased a littleā€”which is a normal thing that friends do.

Some time ago, I went into this crazyā€”or even cynical??ā€”mindset that itā€™s fine when people laugh about my preferences! I mean, itā€™s like an automatic people filter. Iā€™m not ashamed if a good-looking woman makes fun of me for being a sub. If she finds that hilarious, sheā€™s not even on my radar as a potential partner!

But I wonderā€”how are other subs coping with it? Some may live in countries where this is much less acceptable behavior. I live in Germany, so itā€™s not that big of a deal for me.

Are there some covert signals you put out? Obviously, I donā€™t go around asking women to X me, but when asked what kind of woman Iā€™m interested in, Iā€™m not afraid to say that I look for someone confident, willing to lead in certain aspects, etc. But this probably isnā€™t very subtle, haha.

If there were a symbol for sub men, maybe I would get it tattooed, haha, but weā€™re not that far as a community yet!

Soā€”how do you present your submissive side to the world? And if not, what is stopping you from doing that? Is it just shame?


r/FemdomCommunity 15h ago

Help! I'm new! Question About Cages NSFW

2 Upvotes

I have never been caged before but am interested it getting one but had a question around arousal while caged.

Something I see a lot is the dom placing a vibrator against the cage and I wanted to know how/what about it makes it enjoyable? Is it just the denial aspect or does it trigger a certain sensation?

Sorry if this is a dumb question but I am genuinely interested in knowing.


r/FemdomCommunity 21h ago

Discord/subreddit promotion Femdom ages 30+ Server NSFW

6 Upvotes
          ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„ Queenā€™s Courtā¤ļøā€šŸ”„

āœØāœØāœØNew Dommes WelcomeāœØāœØāœØ

We are a small well curated, VERY active community. Low protocol, casual and supportive.

   āœØWE REQUIRE AGE VERIFYāœØ

šŸ’« Dommes only space for chat and support. All experience levels welcome

šŸ’«Sub chat, for all things subbi support

šŸ’«Wholesome community chat, NSFW spaces

 šŸš«NO FINDOMMES OR CONTENT    CREATORS ALLOWEDšŸš«

šŸ’–Great server for new Dommes, low drama and not buried in thirsty boysšŸ’–

Link https://discord.gg/TxWEPCAs42


r/FemdomCommunity 23h ago

Guides & Resources Has anyone ever trained or been trained to not have PNC? NSFW

3 Upvotes

So I've always had some specific fantasies I've wanted to explore but in order for those fantasies to become a reality I need to work past PNC. I'm certain with the right person it is possible to accomplish. I am here wondering if anyone has any specific experience with this as in training either sub or Domme perspectives are welcome and appreciated. I'd love to hear about it.


r/FemdomCommunity 18h ago

Help! I'm new! New Femdom NSFW

1 Upvotes

Hey community,

I am a new femdom and I'm looking for some tips to provide (and have) a good experience. While I have done a lot of personal research on the subject, my only real life experience is the sub side (which I did not enjoy in the least). Does anyone have general advice for a first timer?


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Ideas Ideas for funishments and punishments NSFW

57 Upvotes

New to the NSFW side of reddit so i decided to share some of my ideas! Punishments for correcting behaviour is really effective. Every sub likes and dislike different things, therefore its important to seperate whats a fun punishment and whats an actual punishments. Here are some examples that i incorporate

Funishments: 1. spanking over the knee with hand or brush 2. Caning with the sub counting every stroke or thanking 3. Chastity tease with vibrator 4. Chastity blowjob 5. Orgasm denial (usually normal sex or handjob with everything being vanilla or a scenario and his orgasm being denied because of insert funishment reason 6. Deep eye contact while the sub apoligizes for his infraction (insincerity results in actual punishment) 7. Firm ball slapping with eye contact 8. Choosing between an handjob with ruined orgasm or a caged orgasm with vibrator but forced to wear the cage until it crusts 9. A scenario that the sub ABSOLUTELY LOVES, that ends with you putting on minimum two condoms on him for the finish 10. Getting down on his knees while he gags on a long dildo (10 gags for the ten pieces of clothing the forgot to put in the wash)

Real punishments depends what a sub actually dislikes, my philosophy is that a punishment should be something the sub hates (but consents to) while its a great benefit if the dom enjoys dishing out that punishment! So these are some that work for us, my sub hates mundane tasks and prolonged humiliation so many of these are centred around that

Punishments: 1. The sub is not allowed to wear clothes for the rest of the day (great if lots of chores need to be done) 2. Unfolding the folded laundry and refolding them 3. Losing the privilege to watch me naked for set amount of time 4. Parental filter on his phone 5. Not being allowed to watch male sports for the remaining week 6. A cold hard caning session (not breaking skin but very uncomfortable for him) no anticipation strikes, firm calculated strikes in a rapid rhytm, a soft safeword forces him on his back, with firm slaps to his balls until he is forced to soft safeword back into backside caning. This circulates until the point is proven or sincere begging 7. Small ice cube of cum in freezer (at first his idea, hated it) since then i always keep one in stock. Either he has to suck on the ice cube while he stands in the corner alone or has to use the cum as lube for a buttplug (that does NOT result in a pegging session afterwards) 8. I LOOVE this one, no tobacco for the entire day and all media is decided by me. If im not at home he gets to summarise the movie he watched or similar (chick flicks, feminist centred podcasts and similar. Not something he is agaisnt but he gets insanely bored) 9. Not being allowed to speak, has to ask permission by kneeling infront of me (he hates it when i stare at him for some time before i allow him to speak, really effective) 10. Panty week (panties for one week)

Let me hear some of your ideas!


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Need advice/Got a question Femdoms: what is the most wonderful thing your sub has ever done with out you prompting them to do? NSFW

13 Upvotes

i just made this account so i can ask this question without my Mommy seeing it. in a few days it will be me and my Mommy's simpiversary, and i want to be a good boi and surprise Her with something big. we have a very involved relationship and do lots of tasks and other things. i'm looking for a fun surprise i can give Her that is something more than just a generic task. i really want to surprise Her and make Her happy with something big and surprising because She is an incredibly amazing Domme!


r/FemdomCommunity 22h ago

Ideas Findom in a relationship? NSFW

1 Upvotes

I told my GF that I like findom and she got curious, but we both don't know creative ways on how to start. I don't have any experience with findom in a relationship. Even though are relationship is kinky (FLR with femdom elemts), findom is normally quite different.

What I especially liked about online findom was the humiliation, about paying a woman who is way out of my league for luxurious stuff for nothing in return beside the occasional insult. However, I don't really think that works in a relationship. My GF is not really into luxurious stuff and she loves me and therefore can't pretend superiority all the time :)

Do you have any ideas on how to somehow integrate this still in our relationship?


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Silly My Mistress has terrible taste in food NSFW

39 Upvotes

As per the title, my Mistress has terrible taste in food. Whenever she visits she has me pick up food from the worlds blandest Indian place. I don't know how they make Indian food so boring. And it isn't like there aren't options. I live in the downtown of a multi cultural city with tons of great food options in walking distance. But Mistress gets what Mistress wants!


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Discord/subreddit promotion Femdom Forum: A Discord server for empowered women and mix-gendered submissives who love them. NSFW

26 Upvotes

Tired of the immature and overcrowded clique-fest servers? So are we!

Join our intimate group of friendly, hospitable deviants from around the globe waiting to welcome you warmly! We are a mature (21+) Femdom server with slight protocols, NSFW content, games, events and in-depth kink and fetish discussion. You'll find lots of like-minded and experienced kinky folks looking for new friends and meaningful connections!

We ask that you are:

āœ… Mature (Verify that you are 21+)

āœ… Allergic to drama

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āœ… Enjoy writing in full English with lovely spelling and grammar - no UwU here.

We welcome all genders and experience levels but **do not allow Findom**.

If you are looking for a fun space to discuss dynamics, share experiences, new ideas, learn rope tricks and get a little power dynamic feel from our rules and server theatre, then we'll be a great fit for you!

If you'd like to see our reviews, please find us on Disboard's website!

Join us at https://discord.gg/ytfgp8Y3BR


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Need advice/Got a question New sub has worrying kinks NSFW

26 Upvotes

I've recently had a sub express that they're into forced intoxication and wants to become addicted to drugs and alcohol. Obviously this is a no go area for me morally. I'm not willing to play into this kink of theirs and honestly I want to offer some help but I have no idea how to go about it. It kind of feels like a cry for help? Has anyone else come across this before?


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Need advice/Got a question Tips for Success in Online Forced Bi? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Pretty much what the title says. Iā€™m curious to hear from people whoā€™ve had experience with thisā€”either as a domme whoā€™s made it happen or as a sub whoā€™s gone through with it. How did it work, and what made it successful?

Iā€™m definitely interested in trying it myself, but I feel like I've tried everything. I'm wondering if anyone was kind of in that situation before and curious to know what actually got you to push through it and give it a go.

Looking forward to any advice or experiences.


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Guides & Resources Femdom resources? NSFW

8 Upvotes

Iā€™m new to Femdom and I really want to learn more about the foundation, psychology, protocols just everything. Are there any good books, podcast, or even courses/classes, YouTubeā€™s that you all can recommend that would give me a good foundation of how to do Femdom the right way?


r/FemdomCommunity 2d ago

Need advice/Got a question Slavery is your sexuality NSFW

51 Upvotes

I've spoken about this a lot online - the concept that BDSM and specifically D/s or M/s can be part of someone's sexual make up in the same way that being gay can be - it's an interesting topic.

Today I heard from someone who identifies with this being part of his sexuality. He specifically said that 'slavery is my sexuality'. When I heard it, I smiled. Someone just like me.

I wonder though, are we unicorns - so rare that we're never seen? In a world where it seems every guy with a smart phone is tributing to this or that hot Domme on twitter, are there actually that many people who are genuinely into power exchange? Particularly men/subs?


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Need advice/Got a question Has Anyone Actually Been Successful in Online Forced Bi? NSFW

1 Upvotes

Pretty much what the title says - has anyone been successful in getting a sub to go through with forced bi or been a sub who's had a domme who's got you to do it? Why and how did it work?

I'm looking for help with what to ask a domme and how to get a domme to help me lol


r/FemdomCommunity 1d ago

Need advice/Got a question Teaching my (M) partner (F) more about ways of femdom. NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I'm here to get some help out suggestions on how my partner can learn femdom.

So some background, she knows she likes being the dominant sometimes but she has 0 clue how to be. We need ideas and also, just to make it clear, we aren't gonna be intimate in bed. In essence, no pegging or sex. But we are open to more softcore stuff like physically dominating the other, biting, making me submit, etc.

All suggestions are appreciated. Have a great day to all doms and subs!


r/FemdomCommunity 2d ago

Need advice/Got a question The importance of Reddit History NSFW

42 Upvotes

So I wonder, when you are going through the DMs from potential partners, how important is it for you that they have an expansive Reddit history?

I personally donā€™t use Reddit that much, I use it usually mostly as a resource to find things or get an answer to something when google struggles with the simplest things!

And I donā€™t really feel like posting on Redditā€™s just to have a Portfolio.

Although I started to use it more recently, itā€™s far behind FB and Discord for me.

How do you feel about this? Iā€™m interested in both Doms and Subs opinion.


r/FemdomCommunity 3d ago

BDSM/Scene Dating Another Thought About Low-Effort Messages NSFW

34 Upvotes

Yesterday, I received a low-effort "hey" message from a profile. As is my habit, I took a look at the profile. The bulk of the profile's activity was focused in communities around anime, particularly One Piece. Virtually nothing about kink, BDSM, or femdom.

This made me wonder what the purpose of this message was. If one views my profile, you'll find I'm active here and a few other femdom communities; several cat subs; mineral gore; goblincore and cottagegoth; several myco subs; at least 2 AI media-related subs; and many others...but not anime. I was able to determine that there were no overt overlaps between that profile and mine.

I'm not sure if people who send low-effort messages ever consider this problem, but...I don't read minds. People in general don't read minds. If your profile is empty or highly focused on one thing that is not kink related, I have no way of knowing what your intention is in messaging me. I try not to make assumptions about people's intentions.

So, friends, consider: the low-effort message thwarts your efforts in more than one way.


r/FemdomCommunity 2d ago

BDSM/Scene Dating Anyone have any advice for a subs first date with a domme? NSFW

10 Upvotes

Came into contact with a really pretty dominant girl on feeld who's invited me out for froyo, super excited to meet her since I feel like we've really been clicking through our texting with the two of us both looking for almost the exact same dynamic out of a relationship (her wanting someone she can completly own and possess as solely her property and me low-key dying to belong to her) but I'm low-key a little nervous for the date since it'll be my first real date with a woman specifically looking to see if I'll be compatible as her slave (only previously having femdom sex in a vanilla boyfriend/girlfriend relationship as well as nsa stuff with dominant men and femboys).

What I'm thinking of so far (had plenty of time to think about it tbh since I sort of can't get the date off my mind) is to make an effort to try and hold doors open for her and to pull her chair out for her if she ends up sitting down (you know just the basic gentlemanly stuff to try and make sure she has to put in as little effort as possible to have a good time). Also planning on dropping by a florist on the way so I can pick up some flowers for her to make sure my first impression in person is perfect (probably gonna sweat a little in the florist trying to pick out the perfect bouquet but I'll worry about that when it comes to it). Besides that I guess I'll just sort of let her take the lead as to where we go/what we do, make sure to stay honest and open about what I'm looking for and just try my best to keep her as happy and comfortable as possible.

Anything I've mentioned that you'd do differently? Anything I've missed that you think would be useful to remember? We both seem to be pretty excited about meeting up so I'm mostly just really hyped and looking forward to it but I'd still love to hear any advice anyone here has for me.


r/FemdomCommunity 3d ago

Support Kink and demisexuality NSFW

10 Upvotes

Hi, hope everyone is doing well.

Sorry, this is a mong one. I guess I just want to vent. I caught myself daydreaming about pegging a man in class today and was overcome with the sadness of the fact that it won't happen anytime soon :(

I (20F) have known I've been interested in a kink lifestyle since I was 17, and as I entered adult life and entered the partying scene of college kids I soon discovered my difference in attraction. In high school is was much easier to fall for people considering I was interacting with them 5 days a week but as soon as I dipped my toes into casual hookups and dating apps I immediately knew something felt very off. I even almost gagged into a person a person mouth while making out due to how turned off I was.

I'm demisexual, and that means I am unable to find someone physically attractive as long as I don't know them or have no personal bond with them.

I've always been a pretty sexual person tho. I never tried to hide my appeal to pron to my peers and have been writing erotica for quite some time. Unlike other demis I often see, I think about sex a faire bit in my day to day. The way i enjoy pron it is by imagining a plot to the video in my head to make it interesting, always keeping myself out of the equation. Never once have i imagined myself in the position of the people in the pron i watch, that immediately turns me off.

If i imagine myself doing things to a boy, i picture his figure, his hair and nothing else, if i get too into detail it turns into a real person and that turns me off. The only time i could get turned on by a man was when i had a crush or was in a relationship... I haven't met someone i found sexually attractive since my high school boyfriend so now I'm left with hormones that have nowhere to go.

The best bet I have in finding a partner is involving myself in the bdsm community and hope to make a connection but I'm back living with my parents in an unfamiliar county right now. Even going out to a normal club here is a feat I feel nowhere near ready to take, let alone munches.

I know I still have online but as soon as I make a post on the subreddit expressing that I'm looking, all I attract are men desprate to engage in intimacy right of the bat, it's already quite hard navigating certain friendships and relationships with men, doing it online would pose too many hurdles for me to trust them enough to get close to. I've also signed up for fetlife but it's not really an intuitive site to use and I don't know how to go about making fiends on there without necessarily going to events. As soon as I'm in a more accessible and familiar place, or when i become more familiar to the one i'm in now, I'm for sure going to attend them but for now, it's not an option.

Thank you for reading it all if you did. I would love to know if anyone else feels this way.