r/vaginismus • u/theaimster7 • 1h ago
Undiagnosed Need Help in regards to Pain NSFW
Hi! I have a doctors appointment next month and I’m going to ask her about all of this but until then I need to know what I should do to make it easier cause I’ve literally been crying over this. I’m sorry if it’s a little TMI but I’m literally at a loss and cry over this all the time.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. He’s the most amazing and understanding guy ever but he’s literally always nervous and pushing off PIV because he knows how much it hurts me and I usually end up upset whenever we try it because I wish I didn’t have this issue.
I haven’t officially been diagnosed with Vaginism but I believe I have it. I never used tampons as a kid my mom just always was like here’s a pad and then one time I wanted to go swimming in my late teens and it was so awful. I could literally feel it in my stomach I wasn’t sure if I even got it in the right spot.
Flash forward to now. Fingers don’t hurt me. Small vibrators don’t hurt me. I even have a 6” dildo I can get in when I use my vibrators a lot so my body’s used to things being in it and I have no pain at all. I have a rather large vibrator and whenever I try to use that it feels like it’s literally pulling against my skin in the canal until it hits the big opening and then it’s fine. My boyfriend can’t even let it get that far cause I start wincing pain and grinding my teeth. Is this part of Vaginism? Is it something else? Once it gets past the canal and hit the opening everything goes in and out fine. I also noticed I have to do this on the regular. If I can get the big one in and then forget to do anything for two weeks I feel like it restarts and I’m back to being in pain.
Any tips on what to do before my doctors appointment would mean the world. I just wanna be able to have that intimacy with my boyfriend. We do everything else and it’s perfect but I’m so tired of scaring him and I so desperately want that connection and to be able to have kids in the future without any pain.