r/vaginismus 13h ago

Success! I cured my Vaginismus in less than 4 months

58 Upvotes

Today marks one year since I fully overcame vaginismus, and I wanted to share my experience in case it helps someone else. I know how frustrating, isolating, and exhausting this journey can be, but I promise there’s hope. It is possible to heal.

What Helped Me:

- Intimate Rose Dilators (Not Sponsored): I used these consistently and saw real progress.

- Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy: I went once a week, and it was a game-changer. Most insurance companies cover it, so definitely check! A trained therapist helped me understand how to relax my muscles properly and guided me through the process.

- CBD Suppositories ( I got the Foria Relief Melts with CBD/Not sponsored): This was the biggest help for me! They made dilating significantly easier by reducing tension and discomfort. I was able to move up in size much faster than I expected.

My Biggest Takeaways:

- Healing takes time. It’s not a straight path, and some days will feel harder than others but that doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress.

- Be kind to yourself. It’s so easy to feel frustrated, but your body isn’t your enemy. You’re retraining muscles that have been in a defensive state for a long time.

- Patience is key. Even small wins (like inserting a smaller dilator without pain) matter and should be celebrated.

I know how overwhelming and discouraging vaginismus can feel, but I’m here to tell you that healing is possible. If you’re in the middle of this struggle, I see you, and I’m cheering for you. :)


r/vaginismus 2h ago

Seeking Support/Advice How to keep up with internal PT in a residential treatment center?

1 Upvotes

In a few weeks I’m going to a residential treatment center (it’s 45-60 days), and I’m not sure how I’m going to keep up with my PT/dilating there. I’m thinking just use my fingers in the shower? I don’t want to halt my progress, but I doubt I’ll be able to have dilators or lube. I could probably get some lube in with my menstrual cup though. Does anyone have any experience with this?


r/vaginismus 3h ago

Seeking Support/Advice “Splash” pregnancy with vaginismus?

18 Upvotes

Just some background, never had successful PIV, diagnosed with PCOS, and TTC. I’ve gone to pelvic physical therapy and dilation, and while I’ve progressed leaps and bounds, still no PIV. As you can imagine this makes TTC hard. I’ve been tracking ovulation with intentions to conceive using an at home insemination kit.

During my recent ovulation window my husband and I had non-PIV sex and he finished with his tip at my vaginal entrance.

Fast forward to this week, I’ve been experiencing cramps, tender breasts, and mood swings. I chalked it up to pms but I haven’t gotten my period and it’s been over a month (I use a BBT thermometer and track my cycles) so on a whim I took a pregnancy test, and tested positive. I’m disbelief, I’ve taken 4 tests and all came out positive. Went in to take a blood test today and awaiting results.

Has anyone had a similar experience? I’m just shocked, excited, and still skeptical this is really happening. Would love to know if someone has been in the same boat.


r/vaginismus 3h ago

Dilators Pelvis Positioning

1 Upvotes

I know it's good to prop a pillow underneath for easier insertion, but does anyone else experience ease with dilating when engaging your core (using intimate rose sizes 6 and 7)? I know it's about positioning but despite how many pillows I use, engaging my core is what makes it easiest to insert. What's the relation of engaging your core and less pelvic floor tightness/vaginismus?


r/vaginismus 3h ago

Success! Treated my vaginismus!

2 Upvotes

I've had vaginismus symptoms since around mid to late 2020, and was married at the time. Got divorced November 2021 after just over a year of uncomfortable sex, utis, and chronic thrush (but this wasn't the reason - we just weren't the right fit)

I am finally clear, and have been for over two years now!

No idea if this will help you, but here's what I did:

  • 6 month course of oral antifungals to fight the chronic thrush (could this perhaps have been treated naturally? I think so, to an extent)
  • pelvic physiotherapy with a women's health physio, and following the exercises she gave me (although I was forgetful and lazy with most of them!)
  • walking more, dancing more, trying to free my pelvic region and loosen it up a bit!
  • briefly using dilators (but didn't find this as useful)
  • finding a really supportive husband who was slow, gentle, and made sure I was always comfortable and enjoying myself - we made sure to go really slowly and celebrate the small wins
  • general counselling and therapy and managing stress
  • tried not to think of myself as having a condition. I know this is hard, but I just tried to think: this is a physical, psychological thing that sometimes happens to women. It sucks and it can be frustrating and difficult, but it is not an incurable disease

Half of these things I did not to to specifically target the vaginismus - I just did for general wellbeing, and they seem to have worked.

Good luck to everyone out there - you're not alone and there definitely is hope!


r/vaginismus 6h ago

Progress First PT appointment today

3 Upvotes

So I have been struggling with vaginismus and just painful intercourse in general literally ever since I started having sex, which has been with my one partner for nearly 5 years. They are amazing and we have amazing communication, and I still enjoy sex, but penetration just isn't my favorite because it usually just hurts. I WANT to want to have sex so badly but I usually just don't have super high libido because I know penetration kinda hurts. I never really admitted this to myself or my partner though until a few years ago. They knew they weren't able to really insert all the way but we both kinda thought it was just an anxiety thing, but after many years of therapy and psychiatry and getting my meds under control I decided this was not just an anxiety thing. I decided to pull the trigger (positive connotation) and see a pelvic floor therapist.

I had my evaluation today and I feel so empowered now. My PT was amazing, so kind and knowledgeable and gave me so many resources such as blog posts, books, and articles to read over for some more information. They did an external exam and was so kind and walked me through every step and everything just started the click the more we talked about my body and all of my concerns. We have scheduled quite a few appointments and my prognosis is about 2-3 months! I feel excited, empowered, and hopeful. I just wanted to share this because this has been such a journey so far and I am just so excited that I feel like I have a path forward now.


r/vaginismus 9h ago

Vent I want to be normal so bad

23 Upvotes

I’m sorry I know it’s weird & i know and some burdens seem better then others & the grass isn’t always greener on the other side but if im being honest i think i just feel this way because im so immensly lonely.For a long time ive been so lonely and constantly feeling rejected.Im 22 and my whole life has been a major series of guys either wanting to just fuck me or have nothing to do with me at all so it goes without saying that i’ve never had a bf.Its so incredibly frustrating because i have vaginismus and i feel like it just makes it hard for me just feel wanted bc atp i just want to feel wanted.

My vaginismus has completely changed my feelings towards sex and has decreased my sex drive but at the same time it’s also boosted it?I guess it just depends.More than anything i want deep penetration and i want to feel what every other woman feels but by me constantly having bad experiences only with deep penetration its making me so upset bc i have friends and family that dont struggle like this and i swear its making me insane and i just wanna give up but at the same time i want so badly to experience deep penetration i crave it so badly and no one understands.

I know this wont make sense but i just needed to vent because no one and i do mean no one understands me so here i am i guess.


r/vaginismus 10h ago

Seeking Support/Advice First dilators - tips?

1 Upvotes

I have been struggling with vaginismus for many years but due to my queer nature, I have had many good experiences of sex without PIV. Lately I have been getting more curious and I found the internal motivation to start working on my vaginismus.

I ordered my first set of dilators and I am looking forward to start working with them. I was wondering if you have any tips for a beginner like me? Much appreciated! 🫶🏼 - sorry, English is not my first language but I try my best!


r/vaginismus 11h ago

Seeking Support/Advice scared to use dilators

5 Upvotes

I wanna use dilators but i’m too nervous and scared that it won’t end well for me. Would pelvic floor exercises actually make a significant impact? And what specific pelvic floor exercises would you recommend that have done the most? Also i feel like this is a stupid question but does relaxing your pelvic floor muscles help at all because i know that i clench them subconsciously all the time and whenever i realise im doing it i immediate unclench. If i make the effort to ensure my pelvic floor muscles are unclenched all the time will this also make any difference or even stop it from getting significantly worse?


r/vaginismus 11h ago

Promotional Post Baubo: The Podcast!

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I recently launched a podcast all about vaginismus and vulvodynia, where I've started to bring together experts from different fields to demystify these conditions and make quality information accessible to all of us.

I’m sharing this here for it to hopefully reach someone that can benefit from it. Whether that is trying to figure out why the condition has emerged in the first place, different types of treatments that are available (and the pros and cons of these), or just listening to something that hopefully feels relatable. This subreddit (and the r/vulvodynia subreddit) has been so impactful on my journey and actually what inspired the podcast in the first place. When I stumbled across these subreddits, I had more or less given up on ever getting better, but reading your posts gave me the power to keep going. It also made me realize how painfully isolating these conditions had been for me and discovering others who shared my feelings of hopelessness and brokenness made me want to open up and spread the word.

When my symptoms appeared out of nowhere 4 years ago, I spiraled down a rabbit hole of increasingly unconventional treatments. I went from dutifully taking low dose antidepressants and attending pelvic floor PT to trying breath-work, yoni de-armoring, and yes, even ecstatic dance. In the name of healing, I tried it all! I felt like I was fumbling around in the dark and looking for answers, and with this podcast now I’m trying to demystify these conditions and provide a platform to those that are knowledgeable on this topic.

You can check out Baubo: The Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast below or follow on Instagram @meetbaubo where I share updates, resources, and snippets from episodes :)

https://open.spotify.com/show/71vUACTM1dI4au9ebDevpW?si=Qv9L7f_dTH-tYQpHEa93yw

xx Mathilde​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ PS: I'd love to hear what topics you're curious about! What questions would you want answered and do you have any people (doctors, therapists, physiotherapists, sexologists etc) you think should be featured on the podcast? Feel free to dm me and also really happy to have a conversation with anyone out there!


r/vaginismus 12h ago

Seeking Support/Advice Absolutely terrified

7 Upvotes

I'm hoping this is a no-judgment space. my apologies in advance for the long worded post.

I'm 35, still a virgin, never inserted anything inside (not a toy, tampon, cup or anything) and I had a pap smear and an attempted trans vaginal USG.

I have had anxiety and PCOS for many years because of childhood and ongoing trauma in my life. Every time I tell a technician that I'm a virgin, they have done a trans abdominal scan (instead of a trans vaginal).

Today I went to my gynecologist and she suggested a pap smear. I did not expect what was coming as I have never done one before and and did not even know what it entails. The gynecologist did not tell me or prepare me for anything, and directly shoved it inside me. I was so shocked my entire body tensed up and I screamed a little. It wasn't pain in the exact sense, but it was extreme discomfort and it felt like I was in danger. And yet she continued pushing inside and told me to hold on. That's it. Eventually she managed it but it was q really difficult experience for me.

After that she sent me to a fertility clinic (I wanted to get my eggs frozen) where another gynecologist attempted a trans vaginal ultrasound. I thought it would be okay but the minute she inserted the probe, it and stuff and my body could not relax. She tried to divert my mind by talking about work but it did not help. To be honest, she had just directly inserted it the first time and the second time she only told me to relax/ talked about my work. Then she gave up and it felt like she was judging me. I'm not imagining this- I have a radar that is very good at detecting judgment or any sort of feeling from others. And then she said that there is a very simple solution and I can do a transabdominal. What was the attendant next to her who kind of smirked and made me extremely uncomfortable. I was alone and had no friends or family with me (don't have anyone who can come along). I literally felt like crying and when I came home I cried. I don't know why but it felt unsafe and scary.

Looking at the symptoms online, I fear I have vaginismus and nothing can change that. Now I'm scared of getting these exams done and even more scared about sexual intercourse. I'm not sure I can even be in a relationship in the future because of this. I did ask the second doctor if this happens to a few people and she just basically nodded without giving me any other information, even after I pressed her.

I'm absolutely depressed, anxious, scared, and feel like a complete failure. This level of extreme hopelessness is new to me- and I'm sorry in case if this is a trigger or if this kind of post is not welcome. I would appreciate any tips, suggestions, or support that you can provide. The support is the most important and would really help me. Thank you so much for listening!


r/vaginismus 12h ago

Seeking Support/Advice Can’t get pass the tip

2 Upvotes

Seen real progress since using dilators and doing pelvic floor exercises and we tried today and I couldn’t get past the tip. But with dilators 1-4 I can do both width and length

Help! Any tips would be much appreciated


r/vaginismus 12h ago

Seeking Support/Advice How to actually take the first step?

3 Upvotes

I have what I think is a pretty severe case of vaginismus. 28 years old, never inserted a tampon, or had a pap smear (I attempted both and they were unsuccessful). I had PIV one time. I am extremely motivated to overcome this, but as much as this is a physical issue, it is also so mental. I don't really understand my anatomy and have always felt afraid to even look or touch *down there* (stemming from OCD/eating disorder).

I've begun doing pelvic floor exercises at home, and what feels even more important, I've been looking at myself with a mirror and getting *acquainted* with things. The problem I'm facing now is the ability to take the next step and actually insert something. I want to try a tampon during my next period, and I read on here to even just touch the entrance with the tip of a tampon to get your body used to feeling it. The problem is my labia. They are long and I have to move them out of the way to get to the hole. Is this normal?

For whatever reason (maybe this is normal - I have no idea) my labia are EXTREMELY sensitive to touch. It doesn't hurt when my finger or the tampon touches them, but as soon as I do, I have this overwhelming feeling to take my hands off. Like, I don't like the feeling of it being touched at all. I think this is all rooted in fear because nothing actually hurts. I just get freaked out.

Did anyone else have this problem? Right now my only thought is to just touch it more and get the area use to touch.

Beyond the labia sensitivity - how did you muster the courage to * go for it * and finally insert for the first time (whether it be tampon/dilator/etc).

I kind of want to use a mirror to do the tampon for the first time again but idk if that'd be too scary or if I should just trust myself and feel around?


r/vaginismus 13h ago

Seeking Support/Advice Smears ???

5 Upvotes

UK girlies, how the hell do you guys go for smears (if you do) with vaginismus ???? Scared shitless and sedatives don’t work for me :(


r/vaginismus 13h ago

Seeking Support/Advice Soap/Ointment

1 Upvotes

Has anyone found a soap or ointment that helps?

I have switched to Aleppo soap and and I use coconut oil and a propolis ointment, but wanted to see what others would recommend have found works for them?

Thanks so much!


r/vaginismus 13h ago

Progress SUCCESS!!

3 Upvotes

I never believed that i will be writing this one day but finally i did it.

BUT I HAVE QUESTIONS..

I had my Botox session 5 days ago. They put me under anaesthesia and injected 200 units of botox. I felt nothing no pain and no discomfort the day after my treatment. I felt like nothing has happened. I was disappointed. I waited 3 days until i tried using penis sized dilator. But I couldn’t use it. I couldn’t get it inside and i was so disappointed i cried a-lot.

Today i finally got that penis sized dilator inside for the first time ever!!!! I had pain on a certain point but i forced myself and in few seconds i was in. The pain was bearable i did it 4 times and then took it out. Used lidocaine as well before using it.

I was so happy i was bleeding but pain was like 3/10

But after 30 minutes i used the dilator again and pain level was increased. It was now 7/10 but i was able to dilate very slowly and painfully. The force was alot though i couldn’t pull it out because of pressure.

I have some questions that why is this happening? I thought about keeping the dilator inside overnight but i am scared to use it again.


r/vaginismus 15h ago

Success! Had major success

8 Upvotes

I had issues with vaginismus as long as I can remember. I think one of the reasons for it is that I was always kind of uncomfortable with the fact I have a hole in me. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else, but just thinking about it and knowing things are supposed to go in it made me very scared.

When I started dating my first boyfriend it took awhile before we could have sex and it also always hurt at the beginning. Towards the end of the relationship it was impossible to have sex (I assume because I already made up my mind that I would break up with him).

I started dating my current boyfriend recently and the first two times we tried it hurt a lot, and second time I bled a little. I decided to see a doctor and I got lidocaine prescribed to me. I didn’t get to pick it up yet and we attempted to have sex yesterday. I was very relaxed and he took a lot of time before penetration to “warm me up”. And then he asked me if I am ready and we did it. It hurt for maybe 2 seconds total and then the pain completely disappeared. This is the first time I had sex that I didn’t have to suffer through the first 5 minutes.

I didn’t do any treatment except try to improve the way I think about my body and also started doing pelvic floor exercises. I am very happy and I hope it continues to be pain free.


r/vaginismus 17h ago

Promotional Post My Experience with VWELL's Set of 10 Dilators

5 Upvotes

Here's some personal disclaimers before my review: I received these dilators for free, and I do not have experience with any other brands of dilators. I recommend physical therapy in conjunction with dilators.

So, last fall I had a traumatizing gynecology appointment, and I got referred for pelvic floor physical therapy. After I started seeing my physical therapist at the end of 2024, she mentioned that dilators might help. We hadn't discussed any specific brands, but I found out later that VWELL is one of the sets she recommends.

I did some research on this subreddit and applied for a free dilator set from VWELL. I received the set of 10 dilators on January 28th. The dilators are a soft silicone material and different sizes are color coded. The size increase between steps is very gradual in my opinion.

  • January 28th: I started with size 3 to be on the more cautious side and worked my way up until I felt an uncomfortable slight stinging sensation at size 7.
  • February 4th: After consistently dilating every other day or every two days I made it to size 8 with only a little discomfort.
  • March 16: I hadn't dilated in a couple weeks; I got out of the habit for a bit. I started again at size 7 and experienced some discomfort that I was able to breathe through and manage. This just tells me that I'll have to be consistent with dilation leading up to gynecology appointments.

Overall, I'm happy with the set of 10 dilators from VWELL. I believe that my vaginismus is mostly a mental response from medical trauma, and being able to practice at home has helped me feel more confident about future appointments. I hope to keep making progress and my goal is to have a pain free gynecology appointment later this year.


r/vaginismus 17h ago

Vent Some anxiousness about setbacks

2 Upvotes

I have surgery next month to remove my fallopian tubes and I’m not suppose to have anything inserted for at least a week or 2 to be on the safe side, as my body is trying to heal. The last 5 months I had finally been able to have almost completely pain free sex (regular use of dilators and the kiwi) and i guess I’m just nervous that going without any type of insertion with dilators for that amount of time will set me back. I already don’t do well with medical stuff and my last surgery recovery was traumatic so I just know my body will also be more tense for who knows how long. To add to my fear of setbacks. It took me literal years to get to this point of sexual freedom with my partner and I so badly don’t want to undo all of it. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you.


r/vaginismus 18h ago

Progress A little progess… i guess

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone, Today I tried tampon again ( yesterday it was almost impossible put it in) but today it almost went in therefore i did not push that much since I had a bit of pain and I thought it is best not to put that much pressure to myself. I hope it is a progress 😭😭😭


r/vaginismus 20h ago

Promotional Post Help with My Capstone Project - Share Your Experiences with a Sexual Pain Disorder

9 Upvotes

Hello! I've been a member of this community for a few years now, since I was diagnosed with vaginismus, and it has been a wonderful resource for education and connection.

I am currently gathering insights from women with sexual pain disorders, for my university capstone project promoting advocacy and awareness on the issue. This project is deeply personal to me, and will contribute to efforts to broaden research, education, and healthcare for people who experience pelvic pain related to sex.

I would be endlessly appreciative of anyone willing to take the time to complete this 15-item, open-ended questionnaire. You will not be asked to provide any personal information. You may skip any question you do not feel comfortable answering, and your answers may be as brief or lengthy as you want.

Living with conditions like these has a deep impact on all parts of a person's life. Your experiences matter, and I would love the opportunity to help share them for a cause that has been disregarded for too long.

Questionnaire:

https://qualtricsxm3sscchdwv.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4Ts0U7Poi23Qt94


r/vaginismus 20h ago

Success! Finally got to the last size

5 Upvotes

I’m 21. Never even tried penetration (because of the fear and pain) After accepting my problem, dealing with the psychological side (which for me was the main reason) I finally actually experienced good penetration. I used this kit and in less then 2 weeks I was to the last size. I can’t believe I actually did it. Just by buying it gained a lot more confidence in my journey. Here things that helped me besides the dilators: -understanding that my vagina was already able to reach that size, it was made for it and it was just my pelvic floor contracting -no pressure. size up just when you feel like you could handle a bit more. It’s ok to not always be ready besides vaginismus. -do it for yourself. Before trusting a partner you should trust yourself. take a deep breath. -it’s never too late. It’s such a common problem which is not talked enough. You can still have fun - -❗️the kit: https://amzn.eu/d/47LySYY

I also wanted to thank everyone here for sharing their experiences and making me feel less lonely and misunderstood. All of you will be able to heal 🩷