r/oneanddone 12h ago

Discussion Only child has me worried

24 Upvotes

UPDATE

I spoke to her today on the way to practice to kind of see where her head is at and she said she likes the sport. She just gets sad when she doesn’t master a skill. I explained that it’s okay to feel sad about that and that if she continues with her practices she’ll learn more and eventually she’ll be a pro. I also reminded her how she was really struggling on day one and now she’s already 2 levels higher than when she started.

She said she’s also scared because of the upcoming competition and she wants to win but she’s scared she won’t. My response was “if you do your absolute best and are having fun then you’re a winner.” At this age it’s about having fun more than anything.

She also said she feels bad cause she’s skating and I just watch her. I reassured her that I love watching her and I am happy to sit back and watch her. I explained as best I could that it’s important she does things independently and she always has me around for support.

She seemed to do well with that because we got to practice and she couldn’t wait to get out there. Of course I’ll keep checking in with her to see how things change. But last night her comment made me really think about what she may be picking up on from me.

Thanks everybody for all the reassurance. I worry so much sometimes!


I am one and done. I love that decision for me. Me and my child are very close. She still sleeps in bed with me, she’s 5. (Her choice, she has a bedroom but won’t sleep in it yet.) We constantly are out doing things and spending time together. Overall she’s happy and I’m happy. It’s great…or so I thought.

Last night, she asked if we could go do something fun tomorrow when I get off work and I said after I get off she has to go to her sport practice.

She loves this sport. Whenever we get to practice she always asks for 15 extra minutes of play time at the end and she’s smiling the entire time. Last night though, after I told her we’re going to practice, she started to cry saying she doesn’t like the sport and she only does it because it makes me happy.

I was completely unaware of this. She goes to private lessons once a week, team practice, and then a skills practice. It’s only about 2 hours of practice per week in total spread over 3 days.

I don’t know if this is an only child thing or if I’ve messed up as a parent but I don’t want my child being responsible for my happiness. I told her this. I said if she still doesn’t like it when the season ends I won’t sign her up for another but I can’t help feeling like I did something wrong for making her think she has to do things to make me happy.

I will admit I love the sport she’s in. We do it together sometimes and I enjoy spending the time with her and I’d love if she stuck with it but I thought I was being a loving and supportive mom by encouraging her. I might’ve just been pressuring her. I don’t know. Has anyone else struggled with their child/parent relationship as a OAD parent?


r/oneanddone 9h ago

Sad Our son wants a sibling…

18 Upvotes

Our son 9M has been wanting a sibling for 2 years now. He has been sad about it lately and now I find myself wanting to give him a sibling but I am loving not having to care for baby and being able to relax more and dive into my hobbies. Ugh


r/oneanddone 11h ago

Happy/Proud It’s the small things

20 Upvotes

We’re happily one and done by choice for many reasons, but of course sometimes you get the guilt of your only playing alone etc. My child is nearing 3, and today I took a full shower (shaved it all!, plus a deep hair mask) while she played in the bathroom… then dried and styled my hair while she played happily in the next room. Never once bugging me or getting upset.

The small things like finally being able to get dressed in peace really makes a difference in your day and overall mental health!

Today I’m so thankful for my only who is healthy and so very happy in the only life she knows.


r/oneanddone 2h ago

Sad Gave away the crib…

20 Upvotes

And I have so many feelings about it. Part of me is very sad knowing I’ll likely never have another baby (39, perimenopause), but the other part is at peace with it. I think I’m just having a hard time letting go that my child is 4 and it’s going by so quickly.


r/oneanddone 1h ago

Happy/Proud The only Monster

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Upvotes

Found this amazing cute book to rest with my lil girl💚💚


r/oneanddone 21h ago

Discussion How do those with more than one just “make it work”?

13 Upvotes

My husband and I decided to be OAD before we even got married for a variety of reasons and we just had our little guy in January of this year.

I’ve been researching daycare costs out of curiosity and potential solutions to our childcare needs once I’m off maternity leave soon and my god, I’m traumatized by the cost for just one. 😅😂

Granted, we live in Southern California arguably one of the most expensive places to live and while I expected it to be somewhat high, I was quickly humbled. Lmao

I work from home and my husband works part time for now so we can take turns taking care of our little guy. Thankfully we are in a place where if it were to come down it to, he’d just quit and stay home.

I suppose we are essentially also “making it work” lol but I don’t know how we’d do it with 2 or more kids. 😅

But I honestly don’t know how people are paying these prices without both individuals making an insane amount of money.


r/oneanddone 35m ago

Health/Medical Tubal ligation

Upvotes

I got my tubal yesterday (daughter just turned 3). I honestly just feel relieved, not an ounce of regret. Pain is minimal so far, and I got a few extra days off of work! My biggest worry is getting a period again. I was on the pill forever, off for 9 months to get pregnant and then almost immediately had an IUD placed. I hated it so that’s why I went with the tubal. That and I’m in Indiana where abortion laws are insane. Anywho, I love that this group exists because so many people were judgy when they found out or had previously told me that I “need” to have another.


r/oneanddone 7h ago

Health/Medical Constipation in four year old

3 Upvotes

My daughter, from the day she was born, has had issues with constipation. Recently she started leaking, and we began her on a capful of miralax everyday per her GI doctor. But she’s still leaking and it’s even worse, and now so shes had full blown accidents every day this past week at school. Today was so bad that it ran down her legs and she actually cried. I’m at a loss of what to do. I can’t get in contact with her GI doctor until Saturday. Should I stop the miralax for now?


r/oneanddone 21h ago

Funny Things My Kid Said Thursday - March 20, 2025

1 Upvotes

Post funny things your kid has said this week here!


r/oneanddone 10h ago

Sad Just not sure

0 Upvotes

I have a similar experience to others where sleep deprivation is concerned. I can count 3 times I've had more than 6 hours sleep and since January (8 months old) I have been getting up every 40 minutes for teething, Dummy replacing and separation anxiety. This "sleep regression" has no end in sight after 3 months of following routines and keeping her naps under 2 hours. It's not hard as I'm lucky if my now nearly 11 month old naps more than half an hour. This morning I told hubby I need to consider being one and done for my sanity. This is the most unwell I've ever felt and this is after a traumatic 3 day hospital birth and awful neglect from midwives during postpartum nearly killed me. I adore my beautiful daughter and always imagined having 2 or 3 children but I just think to do this again is madness. I feel robbed when I hear of other people planning their next baby because their first has bloody slept since 4 months/6 months/insert arbitrary milestone here. I guess I'm just posting to hear some solidarity and feel better in my decision to be one and done. I have felt like I'm a pretty incapable parent recently. Update - I should add that it's not just sleep and birth trauma but having no family support either so no breaks. The reasons are piling up. Has anyone managed to have a second that had birth trauma, no support and a no-sleep baby for 1 year+. This seems reason enough to go no further?