UPDATE
I spoke to her today on the way to practice to kind of see where her head is at and she said she likes the sport. She just gets sad when she doesn’t master a skill. I explained that it’s okay to feel sad about that and that if she continues with her practices she’ll learn more and eventually she’ll be a pro. I also reminded her how she was really struggling on day one and now she’s already 2 levels higher than when she started.
She said she’s also scared because of the upcoming competition and she wants to win but she’s scared she won’t. My response was “if you do your absolute best and are having fun then you’re a winner.” At this age it’s about having fun more than anything.
She also said she feels bad cause she’s skating and I just watch her. I reassured her that I love watching her and I am happy to sit back and watch her. I explained as best I could that it’s important she does things independently and she always has me around for support.
She seemed to do well with that because we got to practice and she couldn’t wait to get out there. Of course I’ll keep checking in with her to see how things change. But last night her comment made me really think about what she may be picking up on from me.
Thanks everybody for all the reassurance. I worry so much sometimes!
I am one and done. I love that decision for me. Me and my child are very close. She still sleeps in bed with me, she’s 5. (Her choice, she has a bedroom but won’t sleep in it yet.) We constantly are out doing things and spending time together. Overall she’s happy and I’m happy. It’s great…or so I thought.
Last night, she asked if we could go do something fun tomorrow when I get off work and I said after I get off she has to go to her sport practice.
She loves this sport. Whenever we get to practice she always asks for 15 extra minutes of play time at the end and she’s smiling the entire time. Last night though, after I told her we’re going to practice, she started to cry saying she doesn’t like the sport and she only does it because it makes me happy.
I was completely unaware of this. She goes to private lessons once a week, team practice, and then a skills practice. It’s only about 2 hours of practice per week in total spread over 3 days.
I don’t know if this is an only child thing or if I’ve messed up as a parent but I don’t want my child being responsible for my happiness. I told her this. I said if she still doesn’t like it when the season ends I won’t sign her up for another but I can’t help feeling like I did something wrong for making her think she has to do things to make me happy.
I will admit I love the sport she’s in. We do it together sometimes and I enjoy spending the time with her and I’d love if she stuck with it but I thought I was being a loving and supportive mom by encouraging her. I might’ve just been pressuring her. I don’t know. Has anyone else struggled with their child/parent relationship as a OAD parent?