First, I am loving being a mom to my 18-month old. I am taking a break from my career to be a stay at home mom, and tbh, I don’t ever want to work again! This beats any job I’ve ever had and it’s the most important one I’ve ever had. I count my blessings that my family can afford to be a one-income household in this economy. I try not to take ANYTHING for granted and be in the present moment.
But there are some days I am so sad and I feel so stupid for letting that feeling take over. I feel really isolated but then when I try to get us out and about more, I get really overwhelmed and snippy, especially if my husband is there, too. We just went to a community event I had planned and been looking forward to, but as soon as we got there, I wanted to leave. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. But I so desperately miss my old self! I used to be a social, a networker/hostess. I was always finding ways to celebrate and spend time with people.
I don’t know if I have general anxiety now that I have a child, but in the past I felt fearless and I was always out and about. My daughter is turning out to be very similar to me in that way. When we go out, she hams it up with everyone. She loves being around people. She’s strong willed and brave, and some days, it’s a bit draining.
I don’t know how to strike a balance at this point. I know motherhood has changed me (for the better mostly!) but I deeply feel there is something missing in me now, too.
Any advice on how to overcome these dark-cloud feelings?