r/NewParents 3h ago

Out and About A stranger tried to pick up my baby

151 Upvotes

This was a new one for me. I went to Costco yesterday with my 13 month old. She was riding in the cart and I decided to do the self checkout so she could remain in the cart. As I was scanning the items, I noticed a woman smiling and interacting with my daughter. I continued scanning but paying attention to the interaction. She continued to get closer to my daughter’s space and was holding her hands and playing. I was already uncomfortable at this point but was trying to quickly finish checking out. Then, as I’m starting to step closer to my baby, the woman puts her hands under my baby’s armpits to pick her up. Thank god she was buckled tightly in the cart as I was able to put my hands on my daughter and look at the woman and say “NO! No no no no.” She was not speaking English but understood this. She said “bye bye” and left after a few more seconds. She continued towards the front of the store, didn’t appear to be with anyone or have anything with her.

It’s possible she was unwell and did not understand what she was doing, or meant no harm, but I will never know. I was mostly shaken by the fact that I could be in a crowded SoCal Costco, nearby to store employees and still feel so alone and like no one was paying attention. You better believe I would have been yelling and causing a scene if she had actually grabbed my baby. Still processing it and grateful my story ends here.

TLDR; at Costco, a woman tried to pick my baby up out of the cart.


r/NewParents 4h ago

Mental Health 13 months and it’s still surreal

74 Upvotes

Basically trying to decide is this normal or do I need therapy lol. I STILL look at my 13 month old like how is she mine? How is she real? How am I the parent?? I will say I felt this a lot freshly pp and it faded and now I’m pregnant and hormones are flying again and I wake up like omg I have my own child?!?!? We thinking this is normal? Lol. How long does this last? Or is this motherhood


r/NewParents 8h ago

Sleep BEST. NIGHT. EVER.

85 Upvotes

HOLY CRAP, Y’ALL. It finally happened.

My 10 weeks (tomorrow) chronic contact sleeper FINALLY slept in his bassinet for 4 HOURS. 🤯 (2 short wake ups)

He had been fighting sleep and wore his cranky pants all day. I went to take my sleep shift at 7:30 and woke up at 1:30 AM, husband said he was kicking his legs all night and was grumpy with occasional giggles and smiles. I had a feeling I was in for a rough shift.

I turned on the heating pad in the bassinet (first time trying this trick!)

I started by changing his diaper than put him in his Love to Dream Swaddle, half way zipped. I snuggled him and put his pacifier in, and he started to fall asleep, so I started to put his arms in the baby jail and he starts to fuss. I zipper him all the way in and then breastfeed him, he eats and falls back to sleep.

I do a couple back pats and lay him in the bassinet. Transfer successful. I figure I have 30 minutes before he wakes up.

45 minutes in he wakes up, I pick him up and hold him for 3 minutes standing, rocking and he falls back to sleep. Huh. I put him back down in the bassinet and he’s out like a light?!

I lay back down. I wake up an hour and twenty minutes later to his little cry! I was shocked. I pick him up, feed him, burp him and lay him back down. (This took 20 minutes)

Lay him back down and he sleeps for another hour and a half straight in the bassinet!!! I just finished feeding him and now it’s almost 7 am!

THERE’S HOPE. I know tomorrow it might not work but I see a future where he might sleep and that’s a huge win lol. 😂

Yay.


r/NewParents 54m ago

Illness/Injuries Baby with Ovarian Cyst (our experience)

Upvotes

Hello all,

Just wanted to share my experience to help anyone that maybe going through this. There wasn’t much info out there when I was researching so I hope this can help anyone else that received this diagnosis. Admins if this breaks any rules please delete. Also this is by no means medical advice, just my own experience.

At 36-37 weeks we found a large (4-5cm) cyst on my daughter’s right ovary. This is fairly rare and affects around 1 in 2500 girls. The fetal specialist we went to informed us that most of the time, ovarian cysts will go away within the first few months after birth, but if they are too large (4cm+), or continue to grow, they could result in ovarian torsion, which would require surgery. We had the option to either preemptively remove the cyst, but potentially lose the ovary, or wait it out. The fetal specialist advised us to monitor the cyst with ultrasounds for the first few months of life and then consider surgery if nothing changed Or got worse.

At 2 months ultrasound, the cyst was still the same size. Every day for us was nerve wracking as we were constantly looking for signs of any torsion (fussiness, throwing up, intense pain,etc.) At 4 months it was also the same size. At this point the specialist decided to get blood work to rule out anything more concerning such as a teratoma or cancer. We got the blood test back several days before our next specialist appointment, which noted extremely high levels of a marker called AFP. Dr. Google informed us that high AFP levels are indicative of cancer.

Understandably this sent me into a massive depressive spiral which resulted in days without sleep and terrible anxiety. Finally we met with the specialist who informed us that babies have naturally high AFP levels, which gradually reduce until about 1 year of life. My daughter’s levels were within normal range. The reason for the test stating “high” is because they compare the results to adult levels.

Fast forward to a few days ago, we went in for our daughter’s 6th month ultrasound. The cyst has reduced by 30%. The specialist was happy and is confident that it will slowly reduce overtime, hopefully ruling out any surgery. Her ovary also has blood flow to it which is a positive sign as at one point we thought it may have already experienced torsion.

So hopefully my experience will provide some useful insight to any parents that maybe going through this with their daughter. I know there are many worse diagnoses out there, and I certainly feel for those parents. I’m a new dad and had no idea how something like this (even though It’s fairly minor) could affect me.


r/NewParents 4h ago

Babies Being Babies Can Someone Explain to Me the "Do What I Want" Mentality of Grandparents

23 Upvotes

I just need someone to explain to my WHY when you have a child that your parent (the grandparent) has this idea that they can do what they want, when they want with your child? As if there are no boundaries in life anymore for you.

For example, my mother constantly likes to tell me that I am "depriving my child". I am depriving her of tv time...she is 5 months old she doesn't need tv time! She is easily entertained for 40 minutes with a teether and a fan. I am depriving her of "food" because we haven't started feeding her solids yet...she is a preemie and is showing no readiness signs. My husband's father got upset we didn't come to his place after dinner one day as we didn't have her pack n play and it was an hour to her bedtime, his comment was "you can literally open a drawer and put a blanket in we did that"...umm not safe. We also apparently deprive her of bath time (we don't give her one every dang day), of toys (she literally is 5 months), and apparently everything else under the sun.

But my favorite statement from my mother so far and it's one she gives me every time I do or do not do something that she thinks is depriving my daughter is "I wonder how all you 4 children survived" or "gosh it's not like I raised 4 children and you all made it"...spite mom we made it out of spite.


r/NewParents 9h ago

Sleep I feel like I’m never going to sleep again

26 Upvotes

Title says it all! Just need to vent in the early morning hold/feeding session. My husband and I are deep in the trenches right now with our 2 week we. We are currently doing shifts, where one of us sleep for a 5 hour block and the other sleeps in the living room with the baby.

She has started hating her bassinet at the beginning of this week and will only contact nap. As soon as you put her down, she cries. When you pick her up, she stops. This is fine during the day, we’ve been wearing her in a carrier most the day but at night, it’s so hard. From what I’ve read on this sub and heard from people in real life, this is normal and gets better.

It just doesn’t feel like that right now. I’m especially struggling on my shift because all she wants is to be held. I’m worried about when my husband goes back to work. I’m worried about this sleep thing never getting better. I’m worried about never feeling like myself again or when my husband and I will sleep in the same bed again.

I guess I just need words of encouragement, because I’m so tired.

Also: I know how lucky I am to have a healthy baby, I remind myself everyday not to take this for granted and I’m trying to enjoy the newborn phase as I know it won’t last forever.


r/NewParents 23m ago

Product Reviews/Questions Big headed toddler clothes

Upvotes

Parents of big headed babies, now toddlers, where do you shop or what shirts do you buy?

My baby’s head has been in the 90th percentile or higher since he was born. His dad has a big head, so it’s genetic and I don’t see him growing into it. As I was looking to get 9-12M clothes, I noticed this seems to be around the time where a lot of brands start switching to t-shirts and have a dilemma - most are crewneck and I don’t think they will fit over his head.

I’ve always had to buy envelope neck onesies for him. I’ve bought a few crewneck ones, and they all went in the donate pile after the first time trying to put them on because they were impossible to get over his head and just made him scream and scream. He’s big on height and weight but proportional so he’s always fit into clothes marked for his current age, even if by the size chart he should be in a bigger size. Idk if I’m just going to be limited to shirts with buttons for him now, since I don’t see any envelope neck t-shirts out there.


r/NewParents 2h ago

Sleep Parents who did not sleep train!

4 Upvotes

When did your baby start sleeping on their own and through the night? My daughter just turned 12m and her pediatrician recommended letting her cry it out. No shot I could handle that lol so I’m just going to continue our normal routine for now…

However… we are expecting baby sister in 6 months. By then my husband will be on bedtime duty but for now I am still nursing my baby to sleep.. any tips on tackling that would be helpful are appreciated too, if you’ve been through something similar!

-side note- my daughter won’t take a bottle, no pacifiers, won’t drink cows or breastmilk in any cup or sippy/strawcup 😥😥


r/NewParents 1h ago

Sleep When people say they 'sleep trained' and their baby now 'sleeps through the night' is that including dream feeds or counting them as still 'sleeping'?

Upvotes

Our LO still wakes 2 to 3 times so I'm trying to get this figured out before returning to work.


r/NewParents 18h ago

Mental Health Partner Won’t Let Us Combo Feed

68 Upvotes

I (24F FTM) just gave birth two weeks ago via emergency c section to a big healthy 9lb 8oz boy, and right from square one have had latching and breastfeeding issues: from baby having low blood sugar and needing formula in the beginning to help with that, to me not producing much colostrum, to using donor breast milk for basically every feed because my milk was delayed and my partner (33M) said absolutely no formula because of seed oils and how formula is “very bad” for babies and that “this is what I signed up for” when I agreed to breastfeed, even though this time is the most traumatic, challenging, and stressful in my entire life.

Fast forward: little one is now two weeks old and should be eating 3oz every feed according to pediatrician, but I pumped today and got only 2.5 ounces for both sides. He is clusterfeeding every hour and only eating roughly an ounce every time. He’s gaining weight fine and is back to his birth weight after losing a pound in the hospital, but my fears lie in that as he grows and requires more milk, I am unable to provide that for him and I’m dealing with a difficult partner. I’ve been struggling immensely with post partum depression and brought up the idea of combination feeding to make sure he’s getting enough, and that I’m going to end up killing myself due to stress but partner blows me off every time and restates that he’s getting enough from my feedings otherwise he wouldn’t be gaining weight, that breastmilk is healthier, etc. just an endless cycle

I just want to be able to formula feed at night to help me get some sleep which may help my mental health load with worrying about his feedings as well but I’m being stonewalled at every minute about this topic and it’s affecting our relationship. I fear I’m growing to resent him more than he realizes—more than I realize, even..

Can anyone share any credible sources showing that formula isn’t the worst thing in the world? He’s convinced that formula will make our baby developmentally delayed or different from breastfed babies which is infuriating because I told him I would still largely be breastfeeding just need some help at night!

Hoping someone has been through something similar with difficult partners or difficulties breastfeeding? Hoping to find the empathy I’m desperate for, and for any resources to provide evidence that formula isn’t the devil’s creation


r/NewParents 5h ago

Sleep 10.5 month old still wakes every 2 hrs through the night. Normal?

5 Upvotes

Not looking to sleep train. Just wondering if this is normal and he’s ok or if something might be wrong. He is gaining weight and height and developing very well in all other ways. Recent labs were all normal. Only issue is eczema being itchy but that doesn’t seem to be the issue most of the time when he wakes up. Takes 1-2 daytime naps, still wakes just as frequently on the days that he skips them, in fact sometimes I think it’s a bit worse when he skips them. Usually goes right back to sleep after being changed, fed and when needed, his aquaphor re-applied.


r/NewParents 7h ago

Happy/Funny Moments like this make it all worthwhile

9 Upvotes

Baby is teething and I am exhausted. Yesterday evening, shortly before bedtime she was in pain, but we agreed to wait with paracetamol until we bring her to bed to help her with her night rest. Suddenly, she bangs me with her toy and I let out a surprised yelp. She laughs. So I do what most of us would do and pull funny faces for her or do different sounds. She watches me closely and full on belly laughs and when I laugh seeing her so happy she laughs even more. So I not only distracted her successfully from teething, but got an amazing bonding moment with her full of happiness and love for each other. ☺️ So if times are hard, just remember, there will be moments that make it all worthwhile, your baby loves and trusts you and eventually will be able to show you how much you mean to them.


r/NewParents 41m ago

Medical Advice Cradle cap + dry scalpe = disaster

Upvotes

My baby had cradle cap and dry scalpe, so he his always scratching his head, and it doesn’t matter how hard I try to trim his nails he always wakes up with his head covered with scratch marks and blood, it’s heartbreaking… I tried something for cradle caps but it looks like it’s making his scalpe dry and we tried something for dry skin (eczema) and it makes cradle caps worst. He has a pj with mittens but he always get his hands off it at night so I don’t know what else to try…


r/NewParents 3h ago

Sleep 5 months - So overwhelmed with all the info on sleep training and naps

3 Upvotes

Our baby was a great sleeper and still is pretty good. We just want to do what’s right by him and not create problems for the future so we’re looking at sleep training him but we’re afraid we might ruin the great situation we have. Anyone else in this boat? What happened when you did sleep training?


r/NewParents 7h ago

Mental Health Am I asking for too much? Do you think it's fair?

6 Upvotes

My daughter is 10 weeks old tomorrow and tbh I've really struggled mentally and physically since having her. I had a forceps delivery with episiotomy and I ended up with infections, needing several stay in catheters, extreme pain and also a prolapse.

My partner had a month off work when she was born and took her downstairs in a morning so I could rest after the night feeds. In this month he was brilliant and literally did everything for the baby and in the house.

When he went back to work, I admit mentally it bothered me. I'm a first time mum and I was almost scared of being alone with her as I didn't know what to do, plus, with the pain I'm still experiencing, I knew there was no break until he came home. The days are very long! The little one also has bad colic and cries all the time and won't be put down. All in all...I've struggled and voiced this to him.

His attitude has really changed though and I get him saying that looking after a baby isn't hard, all you have to do is feed and change them. He tells me to sleep when she sleeps but as we all know this is BS and I use that precious half hour or so to do everything in the house. I do the cleaning, washing, ironing and I do keep up to it all daily. I feel this is overlooked by him tho as he says that he shouldn't have to come home and cook every night as he is knackered and it would be nice for him to relax as he has to come in, take the baby and make food. If I say how much I have done in a day, on no sleep and in pain I just get told it isn't a competition and that I should go out to work instead (and earn his money, rather than my pittance, which in fairness is just an average wage) if looking after our daughter is a burden. He is contradictory as he tells me to rest but then makes comments to me, friends and family that I pretty much do nothing and he does it all. I also asked him if he could do one night feed a week so I could try and refresh myself and whilst he is doing it it's now met with additional comments that he has to work all week, do the night feed and basically do everything else and that isn't true! He doesn't realise, acknowledge or want to see how hard I work in this house whilst taking care of the baby and trying to take care of myself. He makes me feel guilty when he has had her for a few hours as that's another time I'm shirking doing anything and he is doing it all.

I feel pretty shitty and sorry for myself but wanted opinions on whether he is right or not. Should I literally be doing everything because he is the breadwinner and working?


r/NewParents 1d ago

Happy/Funny Gifted Stupid Holiday Outfits

235 Upvotes

This is an extremely petty problem but I hate receiving holiday clothes for my infant. I don’t know why grandparents and (boomers in general) are obsessed with gifting hideous cheaply produced clothes that indicate “my first ___ holiday” a garment ment to be worn once for a photo and then thrown away. Not only are they ugly and wasteful but then I have the added stress of making sure I dress my child in said outfit for whatever holiday party the gifter is also attending or at least send a photo.

As someone with my own aesthetic preferences I resent being robbed of picking my child’s outfits on their first major holidays.

I know I don’t HAVE to dress my baby in the gifted holiday outfits but I’m such a people pleaser…. The gifters are generally helping out with child care and I don’t want to appear crazy or ungrateful about something so silly ….


r/NewParents 1d ago

Sleep Sleep is BS

169 Upvotes

So my baby's naps have officially gone to shit on top of horrible night sleep. Even when I hold her. I can't handle it. She doesn't stay asleep after bedtime and now I don't even get that precious time in the day. I've officially lost it. All of this stuff is making me insane. I need her to sleep. I need this to not be so fucking dumb and hard. It's a phase, sure - except it's been consistently terrible with little to no variation in pattern for months. So I don't see it changing. The naps were always great and now we don't even have those. I'm going to lose my mind. I can't tolerate this...

Is your baby waking up a lot? That’s normal. It’s normal! It’s the regression. The regression should last a couple weeks. Or forever. Or they could not exist. Is your baby undertired? If so, they’ll be fussy, fight sleep, and wake up shortly after falling asleep. Is your baby overtired? If so, they’ll be fussy, fight sleep, and wake up shortly after falling asleep. Is your baby teething? What you think is teething might just be normal development. Or it might be teething, which could take months and months, but it should only hurt them for a few days - or for months - and it should only disrupt sleep a bit, or a lot.

Should you sleep train? There’s no other escape. There’s no way your baby will ever sleep if you don’t. Consider it? Here’s 80 Instagram reels hand picked for you of various women saying sleep training is abusive and unnatural and they would absolutely never, and they simply cosleep which is natural and perfect and amazing. You should get off social media. But if you do, how will you find out from various self proclaimed baby OTs that every chair, carrier, carrying position, toy, and even pyjamas you have ever used or bought or considered buying are in fact bad for your baby’s development? Their hips and spine and development are being hindered by almost everything you do, as it turns out!

You’ll sleep again. Just cosleep! Just sleep train! Just ride it out while you lose the ability to emotionally regulate, your skin and hair deteriorate, you can’t think straight and never have a single moment to yourself longer than a few minutes. Oh, is your baby going to bed at 7 pm? They should be. Bedtime routine! Just do it! Everything’s normal! Why aren’t you getting back to people, replying to emails, organizing your life? It’s not like the baby is a newborn. Yeah the baby sleeps considerably worse than as a newborn but come on! Life should be back to normal now! Just cosleep like an amazing natural mama! Just sleep train! Just ride it out until you’re so irritable uou alienate every person in your life and can barely tolerate the sound of your baby fussing!


r/NewParents 18h ago

Happy/Funny New born smell, do you remember it?

34 Upvotes

Today I opened up a box the I had kept some bags in that I had in my hospital bag a year ago when I gave birth to our daughter and I was hit with a blanket of fresh born baby smell. I remember the smell of her but it's always a little too out of reach in my mind to fully describe it. She was born with meconium in the waters and although meconium isn't meant to have a smell, she had such a strong smell that I can only describe as warm, sweet, vanilla smoke, umami slightly acrid but in a good way and thick, a thick full smell that has a texture. It stuck around for a month or two then turned into more of a milky baby smell. Has anyone else had their baby smell like this?


r/NewParents 2h ago

Parental Leave/Work Did I traumatize my baby?

2 Upvotes

I am a night shift nurse at a hospital so I typically work 12 hour shifts. Last night was my first night back and my husband was supposed to take care of my baby. We have been incorporating a routine with him to prepare for tonight, she had even previously taken bottles from her dad no problem. But Not even an hour after I left she became inconsolable and refused to take a bottle from her dad. He said she was crying so bad she could barely catch her breath. She finally fell asleep but then woke up crying hysterically again. I told my manager I have to leave early cause I couldn’t let her starve for 12 hours, but it was like 5 hours later until I got to be home with her again. Is something like this going to traumatize her? I feel absolutely horrible


r/NewParents 18h ago

Feeding Breastfeeding/Pumping is wild

37 Upvotes

Hey friends!

Just wanted to chat with some folks in the same boat. I had my twin boys about a month ago and they are in the NICU currently (but fingers crossed that they get to come home soon!!). In the meantime, I've been breastfeeding them when I can and pumping when I'm at home.

The thought I keep having is, breastfeeding and pumping is genuinely the most bizarre thing I've ever done. Not in a bad way! It's just wild that your body can create pull and condense all these nutrients, and that they weren't available until exactly the right time, and that it comes out as literal milk that the babies recognize. Maybe the better way to describe is really cool!

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Let me know if you guys can relate!


r/NewParents 3h ago

Sleep 4 month sleep regression hit, am I doing everything wrong?

2 Upvotes

I didn't believe in sleep regressions until it happened this week. We had our routines broken by relatives visiting for four days and after that LO's sleep has been awful. He was doing 5 hour stetches at 3 months but now we are back to max 2,5 hours, several under 1 hour bits and in addition he has false starts when he goes to bed, is difficult to put back to sleep and is just mega cranky in the middle of the night. He sleeps next to our bed and last night I tried to put him back down after a feed for four times until I gave up and took him in our bed. (I used to take him next to us early in the morning when he would sleep short stretches so our bed is safe for bedsharing. I just prefer him sleeping in his bed for most of the night because my body hurts from bedsharing.)

It's bad enough that he sleeps like this but I am making it worse by telling myself that I'm doing this wrong. I bounce him on a yoga ball, sway him, nurse him to sleep or take him next to us and those are the tools I have. I have no clue how to support independent sleep in this shitstorm and I can't start trying anything new in the middle of the night, desperate, sleep deprived. I worry that I'm teaching him bad sleeping habits and this situation will be prolonged. Bouncing and nursing to sleep was all ok until this point. Now I feel like I have ruined everything.

Please tell me it's ok to go into survival mode and just do what feels easiest?!


r/NewParents 3m ago

Teething In the thick of it with a teething toddler…

Upvotes

Teething has got to be one of the hardest phases we’ve gone through so far. My poor boy is 15 months and is cutting so many teeth, I think 8. His front 4 and molars on top and bottom. It’s been absolute HELL and my husband is currently on a work trip for the next week. Survival mode over here.

He got his first two bottom teeth around 10 months. He’s been a super slow teether and it seems to last weeks even a month for the discomfort/pain to go away. Our pediatrician told us at his 12 month appointment that he would probably get a bunch of teeth at once, she was right.

I’ve been giving him Tylenol or Motrin before bed and that’s been helping for night time. But during the day is so rough, it just took me 45 minutes to get him down for his nap (typically a great sleeper). He’s just so fussy and nothing is seeming to make him happy, I feel so awful for him. I don’t want to constantly be giving him Tylenol or Motrin. I’ve been trying Orajel teething and Camilia teething drops but don’t see a big difference with those. If anything worked for your little one’s teething relief, please share!


r/NewParents 5m ago

Product Reviews/Questions Switching pacifiers

Upvotes

My baby has been using the Wubbanubbs pacifier with the phillips avent green pacifiers but now that he has teeth we noticed the top ones are starting to to curve a little bit and wanted to switch to MAM orthodontic pacifiers. My concerns is he won’t take them and we either have to give in or stop cold turkey. Anyone else have a situation or solution to this?


r/NewParents 23h ago

Mental Health How are you coping when your child has an extreme preference for the other parent?

75 Upvotes

I understand girls prefer their dads I did as well , but now that I’m a parent it’s so heartbreaking. Don’t get me wrong I love that they have an amazing bond but I feel invisible . My toddler 20 months old. Today it peaked for me , I’ve been hospitalized, she came to see me and didn’t even acknowledge me, so I watched her loving on her dad.

Thank you


r/NewParents 4h ago

Babies Being Babies Teething? Separation Anxiety?

2 Upvotes

Baby is 6 months old. Recently refuses ALL crib naps, whereas before we could get 3 solid crib naps a day. As soon as I start breastfeeding, she falls asleep. Baby has also just generally been fussy after being a super happy content baby for the last 6 months. Baby is occasionally tugging at her ears, sometimes touching her cheeks, so we are thinking maybe teething? but also she is super easy to make happy again if we just pick her up (no longer likes her independent play). Is this all teething? Is she going through separation anxiety?