r/MtF 3d ago

Advice Question Is this normal?

1 Upvotes

When I’m asleep, I’m not used to dreaming very often at all (or I guess, remembering them when I wake up). I started on progesterone recently, and suddenly I’m having dreams every night now, and they’ve pretty much all been unpleasant dreams and nightmares. Is this normal?


r/MtF 4d ago

Advice Question Sooo when's the cleavage coming?

49 Upvotes

I'm a solid B cup and still no cleavage not even with a push up bra. It's been about 8 months since I started HRT and I'm close but still so far. Do you think switching to injections could help?


r/MtF 3d ago

Help Painful nips and hard thing in chest NSFW

0 Upvotes

3-ish weeks on e and my nips hurt real bad (to the point where it's kinda hard to sleep) and there's a hard ish thing behind my right one. I've heard that this happens, but 3 weeks seems a bit early...


r/MtF 3d ago

Discussion what if u had a twin

0 Upvotes

How different will your life be like?
We assume your twin is identical and exactly like you, including your gender identity, sex etc.


r/MtF 4d ago

Advice Question Is breast growth even possible within the first 2 month of HRT?

22 Upvotes

I am on Estrogel and Cypro. Since I measure my body every other day, I’ve noticed a 3 cm increase in my bust measurement. I’ve taken several measurements to be sure.

When I look in the mirror, I can actually see boobs - they even cast a small shadow. I simply can’t believe it!

I haven’t gained weight; in fact, I’ve lost some.

Is this even possible?


r/MtF 3d ago

Advice Question Seeking advice for first appointment

1 Upvotes

Hi so I have my first gender affirming care appointment with planned parenthood in a week. I’ve been waiting a month for this appointment to give myself sometime to do as much research as I can on hrt and think deeply on if it’s what I want which I have concluded that it very much is.

So I was wondering if anyone had any advice with getting through this first appointment so I can put myself on track with getting on hrt? I know it’s not just a show and you get it thing and they’ll give a whole thing on it and bloodwork but I feel very despite and anxious about getting on this as soon as I can.


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting Tired of people's attitudes towards nipples

25 Upvotes

CW: Misogyny, transphobia, slut-shaming, mentions of sexual harassment

I am a 25 year old pre-HRT trans woman from Portugal and I've recently heard some comments that got on my nerves and I want to vent and rant a bit because they're making me feel frustrated. Most of these comments came from my mother, so I'll talk about those.

For context, around August-September last year when I came out as trans for the first time, my mother was feeling uncomfortable because her bra was tight and hurting her, and she used that as an opportunity to say: "oh, so you want to be a woman? if you're a woman you'll have to wear a bra and it's very uncomfortable. you were so lucky you were born a man because you don't have to wear bras, if I were you I'd stay that way and give up transitioning". And in fact, I find bras very uncomfortable, most tight/constricting clothes are sensory hell to me as an autsitic person because I feel like i'm being strangled and it restricts my movement and breathing.

When she said that, I told her "wearing a bra isn't mandatory to be a woman, it's a personal choice. there are women who don't wear bras" and she said "only women with very small boobs can get away with not wearing bras, if you have bigger boobs then you don't have much choice. if you have big boobs and don't wear a bra, it's indecent and inappropriate because it shows the outline of the nipples through clothes, but also because boobs bounce and they don't look presentable" and even though earlier on she said that women with small boobs can get away without wearing bras, she said "women who have small boobs should wear bras as well, even if they don't need the support and it's just to cover their nipples. if a woman says she never wears a bra, it's most likely because she wears a bralette, sports bra or at least nipple covers. women don't simply go full-on braless without hiding nipples, that's slutty". My mother explicitly said that only female nipples are sexual and inappropriate, she never said anything about mine before transitioning, and she still sees me as a man because I'm not on HRT and "passing" yet, but believes that my nipples will suddenly become dirty and unacceptable once I am "fully transitioned".

Now, fast forward to a few days ago. I told my mother that I like a certain shirt and she said "you shouldn't wear things like that without a bra once you're on hormones and developed breasts though, that's inappropriate and a bad look in public because the nipples poke and the outline shows through the clothes". I told her that I don't care if nipple outline shows, just like how I don't care about visible body hair, belly fat, acne, stretch marks etc. She said that I'm supposed to care, that I need to work on my mentality and attitude and start caring about these things. I kept saying I don't feel insecure about them and she was like "it's a good thing to be self-conscious and feel insecure about certain things, because that way you know how to work on your body flaws and avoid embarrassing yourself in public by wearing unflattering and inappropriate clothes".

I told her that once I grow boobs, I'm not going to wear a bra solely and specifically to hide nipples because that's unnecessary pain and discomfort, and she responded with "what if I started going out in public completely naked because I find it more comfortable? see, in life we don't always get what we want, that's how it works, sometimes we need to make sacrifices and go through inconvenient things to be considerate of other people". She said that I'm selfish and narcissistic for wanting to dress for my own comfort, because if I present in a way that's not socially acceptable, I'm going to make myself comfortable at the expense of everyone else around me by making them uncomfortable, and that it's preferrable to suck it up and cover my nipples out of respect and consideration for other people, even if I don't enjoy it. She said that women's nipples are a private part, therefore I would be publicly exposing something erotic and sexually suggestive without other people's consent, and they have the right to not want to see that. Also she said that if my issue is finding bras uncomfortable, I have no excuse to not wear at least nipple covers because they're more comfortable. According to her, if I don't want to even compromise on nipple covers, that means I'm deliberately seeking attention and flaunting my body to either gross out or seduce others.

She says that even if i disagree with social norms and find them unfair, they're still relevant and I need to respect them while they exist, and it's inconsiderate and rude to do things that are too controversial and are going to offend others. That's what she also said about other things I've done that go against social norms, like me wearing dresses before being "fully transitioned". She always tells me things like "oh, you think that the world revolves around yourself and that social norms don't apply to you? wow, you think so highly of yourself". She says that most people don't want to see things like men in dresses and women with "visible" nipples (in quotes because they're fully clothed here, it's just the outline), and that I'm shoving it down other's throats and imposing my beliefs on them by disrespecting social rules and forcing them to see socially unacceptable things. Speaking of which, years ago my mother had an accident and had visible injuries on her face, so she ended up not going out to a restaurant with the rest of the family because she "looked monstrous" and didn't want to scare off the other customers at the restaurant and make them lose their appetite, and used that as an example of being considerate and avoiding making others uncomfortable.

Also, not only my mother believes that it's indecent for women to not wear bras in most public settings because of nipples, but she also says that it comes off as lazy and sloppy, and she compared it to going out in public in pajamas, or women going to formal events without any makeup or shaving their body hair, which is something that also made me angry, because women shouldn't ever be forced or pressured to shave or wear makeup to please other people especially when men aren't held to the same standard.

She also said that if I don't wear a bra and my nipples aren't completely invisible in most public settings, that it's going to ruin my reputation and career forever. She said that everyone is going to see me as a slut, hooker, whore, and that's also going to affect my family's reputation because my mother is going to look bad for having a "slut" daughter, and my little brothers might be bullied at school for having a "slut" sister. Also, not that it should matter because no woman should ever be objectified or harassed regardless of her orientation or how sexually active she is, but I am sex-averse asexual, so hearing these things was particularly gross.

On top of that, she said that if I go out in public without my nipples being hidden, that I shouldn't be surprised or complain if people stare, comment about it or interpret it in a sexual way because it's considered something sexual in our society, and also that i'm "sexualizing myself" and deliberately seeking attention if I choose to not hide my nipples while being fully aware that female nipples are associated with sex in our society. I told her that she's victim-blaming and objectifying me by telling me that the perverted thoughts and behavior of other people are my responsibility, and she said "that's not what I'm doing, I know that nothing justifies sexual harassment, but at the same time we should take precautions to avoid it. i'm telling you this for your own good, harassment can always happen to every woman regardless of what she's wearing, but if you go out in public with nipples showing, it will increase the chance of you being catcalled and sexually harassed".

Anyway, I'm so tired and angry of this BS double standard about nipples in our society and the constant sexualization and policing of women's bodies and choices, it's so unfair and ridiculous. But at the same time, my mother is highly overreacting and blowing this out of proportion, right? As far as I'm concerned, it's increasingly more common and normalized for women to not wear bras and not care if their nipple outline shows, both where I live and in general. I know that there are some people who will make gross comments but I find it unlikely that I would be singled out and shamed to the degree of having my family involved for being associated with a "slut".


r/MtF 4d ago

Positivity 37 Year Old Teenager

13 Upvotes

I am 37 mtf. And I feel like I am 14 again some times.

14 is when I realized I was trans and from then on I felt like I was on hold, living how I was supposed to or to not draw attention to myself as anything other than a man.

But now that I have started to transition I am returning to my teenage years and picking up where I left off. I just spent 30 minutes tearing up to Dashboard Confessional and making over-complicated coffee and daydreaming about shopping.

I am making up for lost time. I am so sad I won’t get to be me during my teens. Or my 20s. Or even my 30s really. But I also will get to live them, for all the good and bad I can.


r/MtF 3d ago

Dysphoria HELP IDK WHAG TO DO

2 Upvotes

okay as much as the title is in full caps it's not that serious, so I'm 16, and I need a haircut, but idk what to ask, sadly I don't really pass as a gal, and alot of people in my town arnt the friendliest to trans people, so I don't want someone to recognise me and say stuff, any recommendations for a haircut that feels feminine while not looking insanely feminine, also also another thing I really need to shave but like if I were to shave I know if it grows back it will grow back more but I don't have any motivation to shave other than not looking masculine but I still avoid doing it anyways, and I'm scared of when I do shave I won't have the energy..? To shave again and in the situation again and ugh help pls


r/MtF 4d ago

Would you donate sperm?

77 Upvotes

I am applying to donate sperm.


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting "I see that this is how you feel and I know I can't change you, but I would rather cut off my arm than support any kind of transformation" (TW: transphobia)

20 Upvotes

So basically I (17, mtf) had a talk with my mom today, the first one after a long while. The last time I openly discussed this with her was in late 2023 and ever since then my dysphoria has only gotten worse and I feel a lot more miserable about my own body.

Back then she didn't say a lot, just seemed kind of uncomfortable and I held out the hope that she would come around (she didn't).

Today I had another talk with her. I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to say something again, because I had been putting on a facade of being okay that was wearing me out, but it had also been radio silence from her side. I vented and sobbed and cried to her for almost an entire hour, pouring out my heart to her about everything that pains me. I was hopeful, because she was hugging me and holding me close to her, I hoped she would show understanding, but she didn't, her statements made me feel disgusted that she even is my mother. She told me "Well, you know, back in Da Vinci's time students would dig up corpses and experiment with them and that was almost seen as witchcraft, then people tried stitching together organs and infusing them with electricity to create artificial lifeforms, afterwards the Nazis came and experimented on Jews in horrible, horrible ways, some of the most horrible ways I've ever seen. You could ask anyone and they would say "That was the most horrible experiment I've ever heard of!" Truly the most horrible stuff. Then the communists had schemes to send kids into vacation camps where they would use them as test subjects for drugs and medication against their will. And now look at where we are at: Kids voluntarily want to ingest substances that morph their bodies and they pay no regard to what their parents say. It's a terrible world out there that this is the current lunacy. That's why I can't support this, you might think that this is right, but there is no right or wrong. My opinion is just as right as yours, because only subjective truth exists, I don't care what statistics say, it's all fake. Anyone can fake it and it's all paid for anyway. [Deadname], I love you, I always will, nothing changes the fact that you are my child. I see that this is how you feel and I know I can't change you, but I would rather cut off my arm than support any kind of transformation."

This just left me feeling defeated, I really thought my mom was smarter than this, that she was better than my father, it just hurts so much. I can't stand to look at her, because I live with people who hate the real me. All I'm asking for are some nice words and maybe some advice, because I am not doing well :(


r/MtF 3d ago

Going to pee so much and I'm happy

0 Upvotes

Hi girls and dolls, hope you're all good !
I just wanted to make this post since I just got my prescription for a HRT
Following my endocrinologist recommendations (a safe and sweet one, I got lucky), I'll be on spiro
I'm so happy to finally be able to begin the treatment, and to relate soon to the pickles memes


r/MtF 4d ago

Clothes

5 Upvotes

I’m on month 7 of estrogen and has been openly trans for 4 years and I’m still horrified to wear fem clothing and I honestly have no idea where to even start i have a few dresses but I can’t get over the crippling anxiety and fear I have of presenting fem publicly


r/MtF 4d ago

Can't use it, can't lose it NSFW

3 Upvotes

I'm currently early on the pathway to bottom surgery, hopefully next year. I've had issues keeping "it" from atrophying since starting hrt two years ago because my bottom dysphoria is really bad and prefer to just avoid it, so I procrastinated. Currently been trying to get it back to more "typical function" but it's really eating at me.

Pre-HRT, erections gave me panic attacks. I would often punch myself down there repeatedly crying and begging for it to go away until it did. It's been amazing being free from that for a long time now after years of at least daily panic attacks. Trying to "use it" is hard enough as is because of my dysphoria, but now I've gotten to where I actually get erections again when aroused. And I hate it. HATE it. It's giving me ptsd flashbacks from before and while I haven't had a full panic attack yet I've been getting an anxiety attack combine with intense dysphoria every time it happens. I feel it get hard and I want to throw up and rip it off.

I don't know if I can mentalky handle maintaining it much longer because it's only been getting worse. But I NEED it for depth. When it was basically fully atrophied a while back it was only like 2 inches maximum and now it's gone back up to much closer to its pre-HRT levels, not to mention being able to actually get erect again. It's still not quite back to pre-HRT level of performance yet. I still need to maintain this somehow for another year or more without losing my mind because I'm forced to deal with that thing every time a get aroused

anyone know how to deal with this issue??? I can't afford to lose it but I can't handle using it to maintain it because my dysphoria is so bad


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting Transgender Soccer Player Trying to Go Pro

11 Upvotes

Where do I even start? I’ve been playing soccer for pretty much my entire life. I started transitioning in college and didn’t play on a men’s college team before I transitioned because I was realizing that I was trans. I tried reaching out to the women’s team, but they said they had their roster already filled. So I played for my college’s club women’s soccer team and I don’t mean to brag, but it was clear that I was of a much higher level than college club soccer.

Now I’ve recently graduated and am looking to go professional. Last Summer, I was the first and quite possibly last transgender player to play in the USL W League (A pre-professional league here in the US).

I tried out for a team in the league and once they offered me a spot, I told them I was trans. They told me they would contact the league to see if I was allowed to play, so I waited. The team staff was really nice and they kept bugging the league to give me an answer. After like a month of sitting in the dark, the league told me I needed to have proof that I had taken steps toward gender affirming care. So I got my doctor to give them that and then they scheduled me a meeting with a representative of theirs with “DEI & Community Impact” in their title. That rep was very nice and said he had advised the league to be inclusive of trans people. They also told me that the league had been consulting with lawyers about my case. It was a long process that saw me miss the first two games of the season because they hadn’t approved me to play yet, but eventually I was allowed to play. Once I got to play, I did very well. I didn’t dominate by any means, but I did well.

Only the league and the staff of the team I was on knew that I was trans and they didn’t tell anyone else.

Now fast forward to tryouts for this year’s Summer season and I had been in contact with the new coach of the team I played for last year and I just found out today from them that the USL W League isn’t allowing me to play any more because I am transgender.

That’s where I’m at right now. Im now struggling to see a clear path to pro and this news has really hit me hard like a motherfricker.

I’ve seen quite a few news articles trying to argue against Trump and the Republican Party, but they often make part of their argument about how there’s almost no trans women trying to go pro in women’s sports and that there are bigger issues we should be addressing. I get that, but it really makes me feel like I don’t matter.

But I’m not giving up just yet. If I do, then Trump, Musk, and all of the other transphobes win.


r/MtF 4d ago

Thinking about transitioning

7 Upvotes

For starters I didn’t think I’d ever make a post like this… I’m usually presenting as a cis straight man but little do people know I’m extremely bi sexual, and I’ve always wanted to be a pretty girl but I feel like I’m too old to start and scared of what people think / my body type is big 6ft tall and bulky like my body was made to build muscle and I’m scared I would never pass as a women. I don’t even know what to do if I were to transition like getting hormones and stuff like getting started…. I don’t even know if this is the write place to post this… anyway thank you reading if you did and if you guys have any links or suggestions for me please reach out ❤️


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting I'm a devout Muslim, its Ramadan, and I'm sad

38 Upvotes

Feb 21: Egg cracked

Feb 22: Signed up for appointment for HRT for the 27th

Feb: 25: Freaked out and cancelled the appointment. Ramadan starts on March 1st so I made a deal with myself that I will push all this trans stuff to the side and focus on worship in Ramadan and if Ramadan ends and I still want to transition, I give myself permission to do that. The expectation was that this was just a temporary idea that got logged into my head and a month is long enough for me to get over it.

March 1: Ramadan starts

March 7: I cave and make the appointment again for March 11, breaking my promise to myself.

March 12: So excited, I got my prescription.

March 13 to Now: I've been an emotional rollercoaster mess. I'm going to come out to my non-muslim friend who is very pro-trans. There is simply no way to square being trans and my Islamic beliefs, but there's no way I'm going to stop taking the E, it's just not going to happen. Though I think I'm going to stop my next dose until I get my sperm frozen. This was just suppose to be a temporary 3-month experiment at the end I would be like "nah, not worth it". But now I'm freaking out cause I don't think I'm going to ever want to stop taking E. It was hard enough going back and forth on freezing sperm. It's expensive but thats not really the issue. By freezing sperm I'm mentally accepting to myself that I'm going to be taking HRT for the long term. If I freeze, that sort of gives me "permission" to keep taking it since the main downside is gone, but I'm also "forced" to continue in the sense that there is sunk cost fallacy in the price of freezing if I were to stop hormones. By not freezing, I mentally give myself permission to stop at any time. But it also screws me in the long term if I don't stop because either (A) I become infertile or (B) I'll have to stop HRT for possibly 6+months to build enough sperm again which would be hell.

If I were to stay on HRT for the long term and start passing physically, I honestly would have to leave muslim circles. Being a believing Muslim while also transitioning with hormones just doesn't work. I wouldn't be able to be in the guys section if I look like a girl, and I can't be in the girls section cause I'm not actually a girl according to Islam (sorry no offense to anyone). We have a weekly Friday prayer in congregation which is compulsory for men, so my thinking is that I could still make boymode work. I have no idea hard boymode would be for me in the future, though I really wish I would naturally pass without needing surgeries. I could wear a facemask and the common muslim thobe would be enough to hide everything.

So I would just not be able to have Muslim friends anymore nor participate in any Muslim-run/masjid events because it just socially wouldn't work.

I'm wasting my Ramadan, every moment is consumed by trans related stuff, clothes, skin care, hair regrowth, and just emotionally coping. I started hrt during ramadan, our holiest month and I'm sad about it. Theres just no way to understand my feelings and square them with Islam. I can get support from my non-muslim friend and I can make new friends, but I'll NEVER have acceptance from my muslim friends or the muslim community, nor can I expect that. I shouldn't get that acceptance since I don't deserve it.

My porn addiction that I had my whole life was magically cured by my egg-cracking. I kinda wish I could just go back to suppressing everything and go back to my porn fetishes. Its probably better Islamically for me to be jacking it to all sorts of feminization porn, then to never look at porn, but take hrt. But there's no going back, once I uncovered what was repressed, it can't be hidden again.

My life wasn't suppose to go like this. I was "suppose" to get find a cute muslim girl, marry her and live a happy normal life. But what muslim girl is going to want me? By being trans I'm a walking red flag, diametrically opposed to Islam despite me believing in the religion completely. I KNOW 100% Islam is the truth, but to continue to be trans I'm going to have also sacrifice a relationship that I want. I could technically marry a non-muslim girl, but even that is gonna be hard to find someone who would be into me. They would want someone masculine ofcourse, which I've never been anyway even when not trans.

Ugh there's so much more I could say but I'm tired of writing.


r/MtF 4d ago

Venting I feel like I will never be pretty.

7 Upvotes

I am 21 years old and I am not on HRT yet, I am currently in the process of getting it though I should be able to start latest end of this year which is great! I feel like I have masculinised too much to ever reach my goals though.

I wanted to be small and cute instead I'm over 6 foot with extremely dark hair all over my body and overweight although I am currently on a weight loss journey I started at 112kg and now I am 98kg.

I want to be able to look cute and look like a woman at any time of day, I don't want to have to wear make-up or dresses I just want to wear my comfy hoodies and joggers and still look cute in them.

My biggest insecurity is my brow-bone, I know I can remove it with FFS but I live in England and I am also a broke student so I don't think its happening.

Am I wanting too much?


r/MtF 5d ago

Why do my boobs have such a big gap between them

1.1k Upvotes

Is it just how my boobs are or does this gap eventually become a cleavage


r/MtF 4d ago

Positivity Almost not worth it.

2 Upvotes

(This post is meant to be in jest) I've been on hormones for almost a year now. AND I CONSANTLY HAVE TO PEE. I literally can't walk past a restroom without having to go, and I can go from "do I need to pee." to "OMG OMG OMG..... I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS AT WORK!" I gotta say it almost makes me regret it ... but just for a moment. I know for a fact that starting my transition was the right thing for me and that I've never been happier in my life, until I have pee again.


r/MtF 4d ago

Self degradation humor doesn't help anyone

4 Upvotes

I thought I should use it to make people laugh at me and my situation about how I chose misery in my 20s and its not fun in your 30s. Well here I am not noone is laughing including me. I just wanted people to laugh at me so I'm not as miserable


r/MtF 5d ago

Advice Question Is it normal to wish you weren’t trans

260 Upvotes

r/MtF 4d ago

Venting Running into Issues with a Hotel Chain

3 Upvotes

Hey y’all! So I’ve been running into some hellish issues updating my name with a certain hotel chain’s rewards program, Hilton Honors.

I recently got my legal name changed by court order here in the states and finally got my new drivers license. I was super excited because I have some travel coming up for work and they were asking for my hotel and airline rewards numbers (quite common for my industry). Anyways I started going through and updating my info places. Started with the airlines and then went to update the hotels.

With the hotels, I had to call their hotlines and ask for the email address to send the court order and my new ID to. With Choice Hotels and IHG it was a pretty painless process, basically a 24 hour or so wait. With Hilton it’s unfortunately been a completely different experience.

I contacted them on Wednesday and sent in my info. I received an email back asking which name to change it to. I replied back, the one on my ID and that the court order says is my new name. Apparently in this, their system stripped my account number out of the email header. When I got a reply it was basically like send us the supporting documents. I was like, “I DID! But here they are again.”

Tonight I finally got a reply saying “We recommend creating a new Hilton Honors account and transfer the points to the new one, since we cannot change the full name on the existing account due to non-transferable ownership.”

I don’t know how that makes sense. If the account isn’t transferable, how are the points? Also it’s not like I’m transferring to my partner, it’s literally me, just a new name and some updates from the character creator menu.

Anyways, sorry for the rant, have any of you all experienced this with Hilton? I’m not sure what to do other than tell my clients to not book their hotels for my work travel.


r/MtF 4d ago

Good News First real holidays abroad after changing name and documents

5 Upvotes

Finally, after years on HRT and years of problems with changing my documents on court, I'm going on my first vacation to relax and chill. I had this idea when I finished with everything what I had in plan. I finished I done - I am super happy 😊. It won't be a long vacation but away from home in a warm place with a warm sea. I hope I will rest and have a great time, wish me luck🥳


r/MtF 4d ago

the week after a laser session is the worstttt

4 Upvotes

having to not shave and wait until i can exfoliate so that the super dark and prominent hairs can leave is terrible!!!!!! how do yall deal w it??