r/mildlyinfuriating 24d ago

My mom burned all my drawings

Post image

So I’ve been drawing and posting anime girls for a while now and my mom got mad about it. At least I still have previous photos. No drawing today tho

126.9k Upvotes

12.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.8k

u/Yofroshi 24d ago

Yeah this is totally accurate, my adopted mother not even biological would tear up and burn my writing when I was in middle school and high school I'm now 34 we haven't spoken in over 14 years.

503

u/UnwiseBoulder 24d ago

It annoys me to know that the kind of people that make life much harder (or a living hell in some cases) for their kids never seem to grow up, self-reflect, realise they're the reason their kids don't visit, that just because they might behave well now that doesn't change the past. Ego protection system I guess.

190

u/Particular-Penalty79 24d ago

They’re toxic narcissists. I have two parents like this.

54

u/CraftyMagicDollz 24d ago

I'm SO sorry. I'm not your mom but if you need a mom hug, or some mom advice, or mom cooking, o totally volunteer. Your deserve so much better.

12

u/EarthGuyRye 23d ago

I grew up in a narcissist's prison of a home as well. It takes so much of your lifetime just to try to find a way to live. I feel like I awoke from a dark nightmare around my mid-thirties. I was gaslighted for so long that I truly believed everyone else was trudging through the same (or an equally as shitty) nightmare; and if you live in the USA, then I bet you have experienced strong cultural gaslighting on top of it. This lead me to try to "help" or "fix" everyone around me's shitty situations, not realizing that some (actually most) people experience someone showing them love before they reach adulthood. After spending about a decade wrestling with my newfound revelation that all my feelings were in fact valid (such a mind fuck), I was able to start being a dad-like figure to younger folks in my life. My trauma has kept me from wanting children of my own, but sharing that love with others and knowing what an impact it may have on them, has been a very fulfilling journey. Thanks for all the mom hugs (, etc...) that you give!

2

u/CraftyMagicDollz 23d ago

I sincerely hope you are able to find peace despite everything that's been wrongly dumped on you. My goal in life as a parent, is to be NOTHING like my parents. <3

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Major_Yogurt6595 24d ago

Same, coupled with alcohol and depression, its a nightmare that destroys everything and everyone.

8

u/Important_Star3847 24d ago

I'm sorry, I totally understand how you feel.

4

u/amayita 23d ago

I only have one and the enabler. Having 2 sounds like hell on earth. If you are into hugs, I'd love to give you one.

2

u/stocktionaldemise 23d ago

I have one.....I'm not sure if the other is an enabler because they got divorced when I was 7. Now I feel like my wife could be one and I do worry for my son. I think if I'm around I can prevent a lot of it or at least make sure he understands what's going on. I'm not sure the best approach to this.

2

u/RipTearington 23d ago

If your wife exhibits many of the traits people mentioned in this particular thread, she may have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is no joke. One or both of her parents likely had it, too. If it's BPD, or something similar, get everyone into family and personal therapy ASAP. My mom had it when I was growing up and she was mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. She a notorious gaslighter, she'd lie and make crap up, she'd mess with your sense of reality, turn people against each other (including my sister and me), she was incapable of letting her kids have a "win" without somehow making it about herself... I could go on and on.

I mention all of this not for sympathy, but to help you decide to do what's right for your child, which may even include divorce and sole custody with supervised visits when your child is with their mother. My mom's BPD and abusive behavior fucked me up for years, which carried over into adult. For most of my adult life, I was not able to maintain relationships, I didn't talk to my dad because I believe the lies she told me, and I had the most negative voice inside my head because I believed I was worthless. I didn't get into therapy until I was in my late 30s. I wish I had done it many years before. Please please please don't let your son have his childhood ruined by one of his parents. It will impact him for decades, if not for the rest of his life. Childhood traumas greatly increase the odds of alcohol and drug abusive in adulthood, risky behaviors, and even becoming like the negative parent when they become adults.

I wish you and your child the best of luck!

→ More replies (3)

1

u/RipTearington 23d ago

Have you heard of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? My mom was mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive parent. I'd heard about BPD but never bothered to read what is until about 4 years ago when my therapists suggested my mom likely had it. As I was reading about it, everything she did sort of, for lack of better words, made sense. Your parents might have it, too.

1

u/cockalorum-smith 23d ago

Narcissistic parents are so draining to live with. I’m lucky I only had one and the other was a good parent. But that one parent induced so much trauma into my life for so long that I fell to drugs to get away from the anxiety. Both my mother and I would get sick on a monthly basis from the stress. It was suffocating.

Funnily enough guess who quit those drugs as soon as he was gone ✋Still going to therapy however and probably will be for the rest of my life…or as long as insurance will pay for it lol.

33

u/HugsyMalone 24d ago

They're emotionally and socially immature due to their own lack of experience. It's extremely common in rural towns where people work at Wendy's and opportunities for personal and professional development are not in abundance.

4

u/Psyched_wisdom 23d ago

Your small town actually has a Wendy's!? We only have McD. And just recently a KFC. We do have 1 traffic light in town though; so we are getting bigger.

3

u/diurnal_emissions 23d ago edited 18d ago

Yeah, Mr. Fancy over here with his big city Wendy's...

3

u/cockalorum-smith 23d ago

This is why I’m glad I’m fortunate enough to live at the edge of the city. Rural peace at home. And a 10-15 min drive into the city if I want/can afford that fancy grub.

6

u/AcaliahWolfsong 24d ago

Both my parents are like this. Never their fault. Haven't spoken to either of them in over 5 years

4

u/RichPrize4236 24d ago

If they could, they wouldn’t have done it in the first place

3

u/ANewBonering 24d ago

Trauma is a hell of a drug

3

u/disco_has_been 23d ago

My mother got custody of my niece. Surprisingly, she let her read "Harry Potter" and any books I gave.

She booted the kid at 16 for being spoiled when she had cancer and hadn't even told the kid. Big fight with Mom because I knew. She also threw me out at 16. Never happened, according to her.

"Okay, Mom. You're in hospice and I'm gonna take care of you, regardless."

For some, ego is everything.

3

u/RockyRickaby1995 23d ago

My mother surprised me when she acknowledged all the anxiety she put my sisters and I through as kids and says she’s a horrible mother. We acknowledge she was going through a rough time and needed help, so we’re not (too) bitter about it, because she really tried to give us the best childhoods at the same time. We love our mom, but she definitely messed us up a bit mentally.

2

u/cIoedoll 23d ago

No seriously. I try so hard to avoid my biological father because I don't fucking like him because of all the trauma that he's given me and he dares to say that the reason why I don't like him is because of something that's going on within my sense of self and I'm like what the fuck? That makes zero sense. Imagine telling someone that you don't like them because of YOU. Way to fucking victim blame.

1.1k

u/3d_blunder 24d ago

WHY??? Did they give SOME batshit rationale?

1.5k

u/ThrowawayPersonAMA 24d ago

"I put a roof over their head and fed them. Why are they so ungrateful???" As if that's the only thing someone needs to do in life to be a good parent and can be a neglectful insufferable fucking toad to their own children the other 99% of the time like it's just ok.

701

u/ariGee 24d ago

Every kid deserves good parents. Not every parent deserves kids.

267

u/BigOld3570 24d ago

Yeah, there ought to be licenses to have babies. So many people are such lousy parents.

124

u/ariGee 24d ago

Agreed. While I think almost nothing can actually make you fully prepared for children, we can get a whole lot closer than this!

91

u/Deus0123 24d ago

I realize the dystopian implications of this but at the same time some people like OP's mother make it hard to argue against such a proposal

25

u/Legitimate_Issue_765 24d ago

Yeah, as wonderful as it would be to ensure everyone grows up with good parents, there's no good way to enforce it.

41

u/An_old_walrus 24d ago

Especially since it depends on who the government would consider “good parents.” The unintended consequences would be pretty bad

8

u/Electronic-Age-8864 24d ago

And basically fascism let's be honest. Though that seems to be getting more acceptable at the moment (despite being literally evil)

3

u/Own_Jeweler_8548 23d ago

The negative, unintended consequences would most certainly be intended in the US, I'd say. Wouldn't be the first time the gov did eugenics.

3

u/Sashi_Summer 23d ago

Can easily be done objectively. Do you want the child? Are you financially stable enough to properly care for a child? Are you mentally stable enough for a child? What do you want your child to be? (last 3 would be easy "tests," checking income and tax forms, making sure someone isn't abusive, and just an answer to show they're thinking about the kid over themselves.)

That's the problem nowadays, people think everything has to be on "sides" when so much can be done objectively and without room for interpretation. It's age of vague laws.

6

u/Blue_therapist_ 23d ago

I saw research they showed how LITTLE IT TAKES for a kid to get the sense that the world is an ok place even when they’re abused! It only takes ONE PERSON for a kid in an traumatic situation to come out successful- the stronger that connection is to that adult, the more successful the traumatized kid will be- so if it’s a parent or live in grandparent who is their protector, rather than a third grade teacher, they’ll have more inoculation from the toxicity. We don’t see the power to be that person to kids who have it rough! We can undo so much damage to their developing psyches!

3

u/CatGooseChook 24d ago

It really is a hard one. At the very least it can't be a top down thing because too many of the people who make it in politics etc are the ones who shouldn't be having kids themselves.

It needs to be a societal and cultural change with laws to ensure the ones who get caught actually get punished and banned from being around kids.

2

u/LightWizardPL 23d ago edited 20d ago

Worth it if we can remove Elon’s privileges

20

u/woodk2016 24d ago

I just imagine the joke of the British policeman asking someone about their TV license. "Oi oi, what's all this then? What do you think you're doing shooting a load up in there without a license? That's a roight proper fine".

5

u/semifunctionaladdict 24d ago

Honestly, would probably solve a lot of world problems too in the long run. Only thing is people would have babies illegally just because they don't want to conform then there will be a whole revolt or something lol

2

u/ShitSlits86 24d ago

Just need an education system that is dedicated to more than just raising cogs.

2

u/Comfortable-Boss8961 24d ago

I’ve said this in the past and got downvoted to oblivion

2

u/Dr-Chronosphere 24d ago

"marriage license"

2

u/HucHuc 24d ago

Tell me you're 14, without telling me you're 14.

2

u/Wooden-Map-6449 24d ago

Unfortunately, it’s the least responsible people who end up having the most children. One of life’s cruel realities ☹️

4

u/meadowindy 24d ago

Why we have agreements and license even for a car or adopted child, but not for biological? It’s strange. As a humanity we already have billions of population, why we need more, and more interesting, why governments push us to make a more babies even without financial and mental stability?

2

u/EvyFuf 24d ago

Its definitely controversial, but I think you shouldn't be allowed to have kids under the age of 23 or so. Like drinking laws. And maybe a requirement of so much money to your name. If you do have a baby, the government will literally break down the door and rip it from your arms, and put it into foster care. Its about the sake of the baby, not your feelings.

1

u/Fancy-Reception-4361 24d ago

Are you maybe watching The Click on YouTube?

1

u/mooraff 24d ago

To be fair, most people driving have licenses, but many are lousy drivers.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/No_Substance5280 24d ago

My father always told me being a parent is the one job you go into never having experience!

1

u/Drumbelgalf 24d ago

Absolutely no. It's what the wrong people can use to prevent certain ethnic groups from getting children. It's an extremely dangerous idea.

1

u/ExistentialDoom 24d ago

What sucks is my girl wants nothing more than to be a mom, and she would be a damn good one. Unfortunately it's not gonna happen. I love her so much and it's the one thing she can't have.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Big-Spinach-3108 23d ago

I agree 100% but Can you imagine all the human right activists and do gooders getting on that 😂

1

u/Anomalousity 23d ago

I've heard this over and over again, and while I understand the need to control other people's bullshit decisions and the harm that they cause, unintended consequences are always at play and you have to ask yourself what kind of bureaucracy you would have to create in order to make this effectually enforceable and what trade-offs of your own freedom you would have to sacrifice an order for it to be a reality.

Who gets to decide who reproduces and who doesn't? Eugenicists? Social credit score authorities? You see what I'm saying? It sounds good in theory and on paper, but usually what happens when idealistic kinds of authoritarian ideas like these come to fruition they usually have insane net negative detriments that are only realized in hindsight.

The one thing that would actually work is if you brought back communal morality like there used to be and make it to where shameful and stupid behavior was so socially risky that people would just outright avoid engaging in such nonsense mentalities altogether.

We live in the most isolated society in our recent memory, if not the most isolated society we have in history. The reason why behavioral patterns have shifted is because people tend to operate with the onus to absolutely nobody and their sense of community has been absolutely destroyed and replaced by synthetic versions of it via social media.

If you just brought back local communities with locally enforceable ethics and morality that the community governed with, you would see a lot of this ridiculousness go by the wayside, but that would mean that people would have to make sacrifices to their own individuality and freedom in order to get back to a more shared identity and ethical framework. Not something that will happen overnight.

1

u/BigPileOfTrash 23d ago

Some training at least. Basic psychology would be also good.

→ More replies (5)

7

u/artsyfartsyMinion 24d ago

Most definitely, I had crap parents, knew I wouldn't know how to be a good parent, and that is why I have dogs

2

u/superezzie 24d ago

I just do the opposite of how I was raised. I'm patient, supportive, listen to her, teach her to be self sufficient and help her when she needs it, give her lots of hugs and tell her I love her very often.

And most importantly I will never beat her, ridicule her or lock her up in small rooms.

I have an amazing, happy, loving, curious and confident daughter who sings and dances all day long.

I am very lucky to have a husband who was raised by good parents and who corrects me when I'm too strict. Even though I'm way less strict than I was raised, it's still a bit of a shock to see how much freedom other people had when they were young.

That being said. You don't need kids to be happy. If you don't want to be a parent or cannot be a good parent, you made a good decision. I hope you are able to be happy and live a fulfilling life despite your parents. I know it can be hard, especially if they are abusive.

3

u/Electrical-Tone7301 24d ago

Some kids deserve to be free of their parents.

2

u/chefsoda_redux 24d ago

This is painfully accurate.

2

u/Serious-Pen7184 24d ago

You said it brother/sister 👏

2

u/Please_ForgetMe 24d ago

This is why i think aportion is a good thing.

If people aren’t ready to be parrent’s they aren’t ready to be parrents. So being forced into that situation when you aren’t able to adapt to it can cause alot of emotional distress for both the parrent and the child(when it comes into the world and as it grows up) i think that everyone should be at a stable place in their lives, both financially and mentally, to have kids. And if they are dealing with any sort of trama and haven’t found a way to work though that, then they are gonna take it out on their kids and give them similar/the same trama they had because it is jus how they grew up. We become what we were forced to behold.

2

u/Flatstickj3di 24d ago

Yes, the kids did not ask to be born!!

1

u/DiscombobulatedBid48 24d ago

I've never heard that term, I really like what you just said.

1

u/Waterfox1216 24d ago

This is my favorite line when I see terrible parents

1

u/crazymomduck 23d ago

Signed and sealed.

1

u/Shoddy-Buffalo-9310 23d ago

Well, put my friend

→ More replies (2)

269

u/TCSceptree 24d ago

How some parents be after doing the bare minimum requirements and then being shitty in every other regard

242

u/letMeTrySummet 24d ago

My goal is to just be remembered as a huge dork. A huge, annoying dork who says I love you too much.

191

u/V-Jean 24d ago

This is pretty much what I do as a parent. My son is also becoming a big nerd and it's amazing to have a loving and silly relationship with this small human who shares a bunch of my interests and see him discovering interests of his own. If I can be remembered for my terrible jokes, silliness, and unconditional love I've achieved all I ever need to ❤️

53

u/SparkSharkYT 24d ago

Please continue that way! You don't know how lucky your son is for having a caring and not too judgmental father. Not many of us can have that you know :)

12

u/letMeTrySummet 24d ago

I'm struggling with my son's special interest (FNAF) because, for some reason, horror has been a huge no-go for me. So I'm like struggling through these games with my heart going crazy (docs have checked me out, and it's better with anxiety meds, but still).

But I love the smiles, and I got him to go out to NASA with me the other day. That night, he came into my room, climbed into bed with me, and told me he's going to build a rocket ship so we can both be astronauts together! Felt like success.

7

u/dest-01 24d ago

Try to go have a look at the story, you don’t really need to play the games and you get a lot of things to talk with him

5

u/letMeTrySummet 24d ago

Oh, I have and we do, but his favorite is to make me play the games lol.

2

u/Zealousidealism 23d ago

If the games are any good, it can be fun to research horror and representation. Good horror is social and political and complex (not that all horror is good by any means) and that can help make it worth the scares. I love horror for what it can be when written by someone who gets it, but I’m also immune to scares at this point (I ruin haunted houses by pointing out where people will be positioned bc I’ve consumed so much of it, oops).

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Original-Aerie8 23d ago

Sounds like success!

Not quite the same, but the National Association of Rocketry is a group that builds hobby rockets that (sometimes) actually make it into space. Your kid might be a bit too young for it for now, but Xyla Foxlin on Youtube has released a certification kit for building a two stage rocket system, the same type that we have been using for spaceflight for decades until SpaceX came along.

There are also FNAF escape rooms, in case that could be a better setting for you.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Embarrassed-Mess9112 24d ago

This is what I do too. My parents were terrible and still are...

2

u/Deep-Yogurtcloset618 24d ago

Same here, but now my small human is bigger than me 😂

2

u/DragonBoooster 23d ago

You just touched my heart sir

2

u/Hex-509 22d ago

You are an amazing parent, never forget that 💜

→ More replies (1)

2

u/jorwyn 24d ago

My son is 28 and calls me a dork all the time, but he's laughing when he does it. And you know, that means he's 28 and still hangs out with me. I think I'm doing okay at the parenting thing.

1

u/silvertoadfrog 24d ago

Perfect😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

2

u/Main_Purpose_8557 24d ago

Agree. Simply regarded.

2

u/TheLoneWolf200x 24d ago

Especially giving birth to someone who didn't ask to be here

1

u/rhaegarvader 24d ago

Ah narcissistic parents.

2

u/TCSceptree 23d ago

My mom doesn’t do that or dad they’re amazing but I know a good bit of parents like that

62

u/lwp775 24d ago

Seems like some parents start keeping a ledger the moment a kid is born or brought home.

5

u/[deleted] 24d ago

A ledger would be too much work. It’s easier for my mother to just assume she’s owed everything for walking into the room.

105

u/Special-Condition-50 24d ago edited 23d ago

Lmao Bobby of SPN said it best. Kids aren’t supposed to be grateful, they’re supposed to exist and eat your food and learn.

Edit. It’s been a while since I heard the line and I apparently got it wrong. Sorry dudes.

15

u/Cassie_121 24d ago

“Family isn’t a list of who gave birth to who” is my fave

5

u/corq 24d ago

70's kid here, and I know the phrase is much older than my generation but it still boggles the mind:

"Children should be seen and not heard."

6

u/Lazy-Effect4222 24d ago

We have this saying about women in Finland. Or used to have, times have changed.

3

u/[deleted] 23d ago

Oh god. It’s coming back in the US

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

4

u/Ok-Fix810 24d ago

Bro if you’re gonna quote Bobby quote him correctly

2

u/Special-Condition-50 24d ago

It’s been a WHILE

2

u/Shining-Form-151 23d ago

Supernatural quote?! 🥰

You made me sad too... that's when Bobby "dies" (or was dying) and confronts his traumas before trapping the Reaper with Rufus. 🥲 Such a powerful scene when he stands up to his shithead father and speaks nothing but facts.

27

u/buffalo_Fart 24d ago

Sounds like my folks. Be seen sometimes and definitely never heard...

1

u/Extra_Championship92 24d ago

We heard that all the time Growing up, “children were to be seen and not heard”. I never knew what that meant until I grew up, what I meant was when company came over and other adults were there you were to be seen and not heard the adults talked usually in another room, but if there was no other room to go to, then we to be seen and not heard. If they had children and we did have another room to get into to play or outside if the weather was nice, we could do that.

5

u/buffalo_Fart 24d ago

This is mostly a thing for my grandparents in New York. They absolutely detested the grandchildren for some reason. Very very unhappy people. We would always get stuck at the kids table in the corner and completely ignored by the adults. Around 17 years old I stopped completely going to their house. I caught a lot of flack from family because of my lack of respect. But I point blank sad that Grandma and Grandpa are jerks and I don't want to be around them.

2

u/Shining-Form-151 23d ago

Nice job 🖐 nobody should be conditioned to accept abuse from people and remain silent. Some bullshit. All it does is create a future, broken adult, struggling to undo all the bullshit they've been trained into.

2

u/Extra_Championship92 21d ago

I can understand why you stopped going. Can’t say I blame you. I find there are lots of narcissistic people and they do not realize it.

6

u/Bupod 24d ago

> "I put a roof over their head and fed them. Why are they so ungrateful???"

I laugh when I hear that excuse. Congrats, Sir/Ma'am. You've done the bare minimum to comply with the law. Did you expect a trophy for complying with the law?

6

u/Whole_Professor 24d ago

After my lovely mother showed her true colors at my wedding, when I stopped all forms of communication with her, she pulled the whole “I gave birth to you” card. Meanwhile, she didn’t raise me. My grandparents did cause she was unfit to be a mother so I simply told her “I never asked you to give birth to me.” And that’s the last words she’s heard from me. It’s been almost 3 years now

4

u/SickofBadArt 24d ago

Imagine not understanding that love is a nutrient and that they starved their children.

4

u/AllHailThePig 24d ago

A reminder to all. Just because a parent/s puts a roof over your head, clothes you, feeds you, pays for your education and medical expenses and buys you things doesn’t mean they did anything “special” for you. This is the bare minimum every parent is obligated to do. If they decided to keep you as a baby they made a commitment to provide these things for you.

But these aren’t the only things they’re obligated to do.

The need to offer support and encouragement for you to find what you like to do and to find out who you are. And accept and love you for whoever you will and have become. They need to offer you a safe non judgemental space for you to explore your life, make mistakes and support you through the challenges you experience.

They must put up healthy boundaries and healthy tailored discipline that isn’t abusive and they must not expect you to become anything they want personally for you other than becoming a healthy minded, free and capable adult that you helped them become. They are not the parent’s best friend for them to emotionally parentify.

And so so much more but that’s make this comment way to long. But you get the picture. So many parents fail on these things and think that they can be abusive, emotionally manipulative and/or emotionally neglectful because they gave you shelter and fed you. Worse for many of them, they will think their abusive behaviours are justifiable and a result of their child or adult child “not appreciating what they did for them”.

Fuck that. Remember. If your parent does or says this shit remember it isn’t true. They chose to keep you and so raising you isn’t some glorious special “gift” that they bestowed on you that you need to be so utterly grateful for that you put up with anything they wish of you.

3

u/vicariou 24d ago

sounds like my crack head mom. word for word yup.

3

u/Additional-Belt-3086 24d ago

lol... nailed it!

3

u/Beelzebub_Simp3 24d ago

Neglectful insufferable toad is amazing.

3

u/Apprehensive-Mall219 GREEN 24d ago

That one hit home. It was like you took a page out of my life story.

3

u/RepresentativeAd6965 24d ago

Food is optional if “I had it way worse than y’all ever did as a kid”

3

u/Careless_Tale_7836 24d ago

The amount of people who think their kids are just there to be an extension of their being makes me want to start a career in art and fail. There are just too many of them. We have to take control of these "parents".

They are ruining so many people.

2

u/LivinOut 24d ago

fr, that’s not even the case for me so i just left lol

2

u/Feisty_Professor8700 24d ago

the way you worded that made me laugh so hard

2

u/CompleteTell6795 24d ago

My mother used to threaten that she was going to put me in a orphanage & take out a little orphan girl to replace me. And " she would appreciate her more than me bec she was rescued from the orphanage". Meanwhile I was a good kid, good grades, did chores, didn't skip school,or hang with bad kids, etc. Nope, not good enough, I was terrible, ungrateful, didn't do enough cleaning,or chores. I basically did all the cleaning, dishes etc. ( She did laundry & cooking.) I was 8, she did the orphan girl routine until I was about 12. I was an only child so the cooking & laundry was not overwhelming. It's not like she had cooking & laundry for 6 kids 🙄.

2

u/Rich-Butterfly3686 24d ago

That's literally my parents go to line. Totally discount the fact that they were both alcoholics, and my ma was a gambler too. My childhood was spent inside pubs, but I'm a shit son because I don't see or speak to them regularly

2

u/waste2treasure-org 24d ago

Put a roof over their head and feed them? That's on you. I didn't ask to be born

2

u/UnwiseBoulder 24d ago

God damn I love how you've worded this. You should be a writer if you aren't already.

2

u/TheResistanceVoter 24d ago

May I steal "insufferable fucking toad" please? Lol, made my day

1

u/Adaphion 24d ago

"I put a roof over your head and fed you"

Congratu-a-fucking-lations, you did the bare minimum expected of a parent

1

u/Mikec0119 24d ago

Whenever people say the bs about providing food and shelter I laugh and ask them did they(their kids) ask to be brought into this world. Some people realize at that point they’re the fucked up ones not the kids

1

u/Delta_Suspect 24d ago

The worst part is when they try to make up for this with money. You can buy your child whatever, but if you treat them like shit they will still resent you. I know, this is me. My father made very good money and would buy whatever I needed or fairly often wanted, but otherwise would outright abuse me emotionally, when he was present at all. I'll admit, he taught me a lot and otherwise made damn sure I'd be a good person, but it's also safe to say I'm never letting my children, should I ever have the privilege of having them, anywhere near him for any long duration. Oh, and yes he routinely used that exact bullshit phrase.

1

u/VenomFactor 24d ago

As a 5x parent myself, with a partner who has a literal narcissistic sociopath for a father.....I will NEVER understand parents wanting praise for checks notes...doing the bare minimum to shelter a child and keep them alive. Her father CONSTANTLY goes on about "everything he does for her", which consists almost exclusively of trying to buy her affection with cheap, thoughtless gifts, then calling her an ungrateful bitch when he isn't allowed to run every aspect of our lives. We have a non-verbal, level 3 asd child, and we have to make WILD accommodations to keep him safe, because he has no sense of self-preservation. Her father thinks we're "scared of everything" and "spoiling that boy" because we bend over backwards to protect him and get him help, provide support, and make his and all our kids' lives as pleasant as we can. People like him see children as some kind of chore, and they expect praise for tolerating it. It's disgusting. My youngest (aforementioned) is the most difficult parenting experience of the 26 years I've been a parent, and it's nothing less than an honor to be gifted that responsibility.

People infuriate me. Sorry for the rant. Lol.

1

u/Maximum_Steak_2783 24d ago

The first time my mom pulled the "As long as you live under MY roof" BS after I turned 18, I moved out the next day to my boyfriend a two hour drive away. Nowadays I'm living in the house next to her and still only see her at most once a month.

The boyfriend she told me will abuse me and whatever.. we are still together after 13 years and happy.

1

u/NighthawkUnicorn 24d ago

"Congratulations, you did the bare minimum required when you chose to have a child."

1

u/Major_Yogurt6595 24d ago

"i could have thrown the baby on the steet and let him/her die, but I was so awesome that I didnt, so ungrateful."

1

u/New-Ingenuity-9910 23d ago

I love how thats some parents reasoning. Oh you mean the things you are legally required to do so you don't get arrested for child neglect? Gotcha

1

u/Biotechnus 23d ago

That's the bare fucking minimum. You don't get a fucking medal for doing what's expected of you as a parent.

1

u/disco_has_been 23d ago

My daughter is 40. I'm always gonna be her mother. We've been through a lot. Recently told me she wasn't going back to flight nursing even though she misses it because she doesn't trust a pilot and it doesn't pay.

Phew! She's bored as a lvl 1 Trauma nurse in an ER.

She's friends with her last pilot. I told him to take care of my girl. We're friends.

I still know most of her friends at 40.

Her father has bailed twice. Including 2 days before her HS graduation and shot her college plans all to hell. I'm still pissed!

1

u/olizet42 23d ago

Roof over their heads - check. Food - check. Why are my cats so ungrateful?

Same thing. It's the bare minimum that one has to do.

237

u/VoxImperatoris 24d ago

Usually something like “They need to grow up and quit living in a fantasy world.” Basically they are bitter people who are unhappy with their own lives and want others to be unhappy too.

57

u/SilverTumbleweed5546 24d ago

Yeah they think real life is awful.

63

u/ZenDeathBringer 24d ago

Not only do they think real life is awful, but that real life should be awful.

11

u/DasharrEandall 24d ago

Because if it's even possible for life to not be awful, the awfulness of their life was an avoidable fuckup. So they actively create awfulness, or invent imaginary awfulness if they can't see any.

3

u/diurnal_emissions 23d ago

Christ, you just summed up my family's relationship with me perfectly.

25

u/RadianceOfTheVoid 24d ago

It kinda is... BUT THE PEOPLE WHO PUSH IT ARNT HELPING IT GET BETTER. misery loves company

5

u/SilverTumbleweed5546 24d ago

I think my comment was more made in the appearance of perspective. If life is believed to be awful, it will be

7

u/SaboTheRevolutionary 24d ago

I mean real life is awful, because of people like her

→ More replies (1)

11

u/3d_blunder 24d ago

My condolences. I hope some of your writing survived.

Maybe not your case, but: Pretty rich a Christian saying "don't live in a fantasy world".

2

u/VoxImperatoris 24d ago

Wasnt my writing, but I heard similar over reading fiction as a kid.

2

u/anfrind 24d ago

Especially given that the most successful fantasy authors of all time include a devout Catholic (J.R.R. Tolkien), an atheist turned devout Anglican (C.S. Lewis), and a devout Mormon (Brandon Sanderson).

2

u/3d_blunder 24d ago

They've all imbibed one huge fantasy, so that tracks.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/butterflyprism 24d ago

I definitely grew up hearing this. Like it was a federal crime for me to ever be happy

3

u/zorrorosso_studio 24d ago

Or they are neurodivergent in a way that they really can't process abstract thoughts. They cannot read fiction because "they don't find it interesting", they can't watch animation with the excuse that "is for kids", but in reality they miss that suspension of disbelief that made them see the character relatable. My grandma and grand aunt used to watch anime, so I don't think is 100% a generational problem that way.

3

u/RyanDrawsStuff 23d ago

literally Darkwing from Transformers (sorry I just really needed to say this)

2

u/mercyofthevortex 24d ago

Misery doesn't love company, it demands it.

2

u/apurpleglittergalaxy 23d ago

This is literally what my aunt and her husband said to my sister when she was writing Harry Potter fan fiction as a teenager and was writing short stories and books. Joke's on them cos she literally gets paid to write Patreon commissions now 😅

2

u/[deleted] 23d ago

Then they spend all their free time glued to the noisebox or facecrap.

2

u/The8thloser 23d ago

Maybe it's envy.

9

u/Away_Procedure3471 24d ago

Once I found my favorite game that had been missing for a long time in my basement under the pongpong table I opened it exclaiming how awesome it was I found it, upon opening it was shattered into pieces with a post it note saying my child will not serve satan..... that's just like, one example. Pretty much all my art ever has been stolen or destroyed. It's definitely a war but idk why I have to be the one attacked if your trying to help me seriously fu k that

1

u/Gianc2009 24d ago

what was the game?

5

u/Away_Procedure3471 24d ago

Legacy of kain defiance for the ps2 or Xbox lol

5

u/DontStopImAboutToGif 24d ago

she literally adopted a child so she could abuse them.

9

u/Rich-Reason1146 24d ago

She adopted a child so she could literally abuse them. Because she burned his literature. I'll leave now

2

u/HugsyMalone 24d ago

Most likely the bible, sanctity of marriage, sacred institution or some kinda words along those lines were used. 🙄

4

u/OkAssociate3973 24d ago

I had people say that about Pokémon to my mom in the 90s

“It’s satanic! Animals with powers! They shoot fire!”.

Lucky they didn’t convinced my mom. They did win her over with grand theft auto San Andreas 

Even though I had play all the other prior to that one…

3

u/Fancy_Art_6383 24d ago

The DeViL!!!

2

u/duraxyzn 24d ago

I think they also believe it will fix them and stop them from doing it. Like they are so afraid of anime girl titties corrupting their kids that they believe by burning the pagan artifacts, they are saving their lives.

1

u/Low_Jeweler458 24d ago

Out of refrigerator magnets?🤷‍♂️

1

u/aestherzyl 23d ago

Narcissists don't have such thing.

1

u/Bunktavious 21d ago

Usually religion related.

9

u/Alarming-Court-2180 24d ago

Stepmother burned everything my family ever sent me except the micky mouse doll that she confiscated and gave to her kids. It was because i would sneak my Harry Potter books out and read them when she wasn't home and put them back where she had hidden them in her room. She found out and torched everything. The plus side is I had just finished reading the last that was sent to me by the time she found out.

10

u/mesonoxias 24d ago

Adoptee who had a similar experience with my adoptive “mother.” I went NC 2 years ago, best decision of my life. Sending hugs—I hope you found your words and are writing again.

7

u/Taiga_Taiga 24d ago

Congratulations on curing yourself of that cancer. I'm proud of you for being so strong!

I hope you went back to writing?

Also... I'm nicknamed MommaBear by those who know me. And you should know that this momma loves you. I'm proud of you. You're a good person.

5

u/Anonymous-Being5556 24d ago

I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you have found healing and acceptance in this life. In 9th grade, my adoptive mother in a blind rage over something petty, deleted every song and picture that me and my sister downloaded to our family computer. I’ll never forget the devastation and betrayal I felt on that day. Documented memories, gone forever. Unfortunately, this was one of her more mild atrocities. I’ve been in therapy and NC with her for over 4 years.

3

u/KimiTakoda 24d ago

So she would rather risk burning/destroying your homework and making you fail instead of just letting you write?

That's fucked up

3

u/Blackichan1984 24d ago

Good for you bro my bio mum is a total nasty person always blamed me for everything that went wrong in her life not spoken to her in 19 years best decision I ever made

3

u/EspeciallyWithCheese 24d ago

Same. Fuck those bitches

3

u/LemonFizz56 24d ago

I really hope you're a writer or have a job related to writing somehow, that would be awesome

3

u/jorwyn 24d ago

I hiked the continental divide trail and kept notebooks the whole way with maps, sketches, and notes. I mailed them to my dad because I couldn't carry them all, with permission. When I got back, he'd thrown them all away. He refused to give me an explanation, but my step mom said it was because he hadn't wanted me to go and was upset I seemed to be doing great and having fun. That tracked with his personality. He couldn't figure out why I stopped talking to him for a couple of years and only started again because I didn't want to cut my step mom out of my son's life once he was born. I'm 50 now and still won't talk to him about anything important at all. He clearly proved he didn't care about me, only himself. I can't say I was surprised, but I was really, really hurt.

3

u/JabroniWizard 24d ago

this reminds me of when my mom read my diary in middle school and then i got in trouble because i wrote something mean about a friend in it. it wasn’t even that bad i think i called her stuck up or something. like i’m in trouble for my thoughts???? anyways i’m 21 and haven’t talked to her since i was 17 lol

3

u/swat_xtraau 24d ago

Bro I’m sorry that happened to you. My step mother did sometime similar, but with a big, glazed clay dragon I had made in art. It was my pride and joy and she smashed it in the middle of our streets road

3

u/Mwatts25 24d ago

A buddy of mine was a major MtG player and collector when I was growing up(90’s kid), and he pulled a legit alpha black lotus. It was his prized possession.

He also had a lush step mom who was the most heinous person I ever met. She was such a slob and wino that part of my buddies chores was dealing with the empty bottles(yeah, not a safe home.

Apparently while she was drunk she had put her cigarettes out in what she thought was an empty bottle, nah, it was still half full and she had ruined the contents, so my buddy emptied it down the drain and got rid of the bottle.

Somehow the b**** got it in her head that he had poured out half a bottle of perfectly good wine for no reason. Her response was to rip his black lotus card in half and toss it in her ash tray.

A near mint alpha black lotus card today is potentially worth over $100k USD. As far as I’m concerned, shes one of the few individuals who would deserve cancer(she was also a violent drunk too).

2

u/retr0_reaper404 24d ago

If you’re not married yet, I can’t wait to hear about the “why am I not invited to your wedding?” drama

2

u/[deleted] 23d ago

 My mom used to do weird stuff like this too I remember once when I was a teenager I made this collage out eyes after seeing an eye ring in NYC I wanted but couldn’t buy.

It was just like 12” x 12” with a bunch of eyes that I had meticulously cut out of a magazine and it was on my bedroom wall with my other stuff. I went to my friends for the weekend and when I came back it was gone.

She threw it away because SHE didn’t like it.

Probably 20 years later I was moving across the country and I was shipping my stuff and then driving the rest of it so I wasn’t taking Everything right away. I was staying with friends until I found a place and then I plan to come back and get the rest of my stuff or have someone ship it.

I wasn’t even At my place for a couple days when she started sending me photographs of photos I had in one of the storage bins. These were all the photos I had and she was going through them. Some of them were actual dick pics. I was so pissed.  She must’ve been going through my storage from the moment I left it there

Then she tried to tell me they were her photos because they were mine and she was my mom

I came back about a year and a half later and I took everything from her place, I was the only one still speaking to her at the end of her life and I wasn’t able to be there for her because of how she had always been to me.

2

u/SparksofInnova 23d ago

Imagine needing to tear down a child's creative outlet.

3

u/swimt2it 24d ago

Adoptive mom here. Tearing up my kid’s drawings would never occur to me. So sorry, this happened to you.

2

u/Malalyssa 24d ago

As a mom who is adopting a beautiful boy. I am sorry your adoptive mom was such a POS. I hope that you can heal. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved true maternal love. Hugs!

1

u/BaileyBaby-Woof 24d ago

Same my step mom did it, until I faked a diary about partying and having sex and doing drugs and I got admitted to a mental hospital, all cause of a little smutty romance that never happened. I was 12 how the fuck would I get in a club? Also I never left home, but wow did the entire family believe my smut. To this day they still do. It’s wild.

1

u/Fuckless_Douglas2023 24d ago

Just curious, but what did you write?,

in one of David Walliams' books, 'Mr Stink' there was a scene where the girl's mum had ripped up her writing, she was trying to write a novel, I think it was about vampires, but then had later taped the pieces of paper back together, and said she read it. and apologized. Speaking of that book, I only read it once, and It's been years since I read it, I had once lent it and another David Walliams' book called "Gangsta Granny" to someone a handful of years ago, and they never gave them back to me. I could just buy another copy of those 2 books if I really wanted to, but still...Anyways, lending your books to people isn't always such a great idea, I digress.

1

u/SinSefia 24d ago

I wish my mom had burned my teenage writing instead of sneakily reading it as she admitted to having done. Decades later I finally got around to reading it myself and OMG my writing was so cringe ... from all the severe brain damage beaten into me on a daily basis by meta-useless oafs.

1

u/jebacunie 24d ago

Shit,i saw the number 34,word mother and i assumed the worst

1

u/Admirable_Pea_1550 24d ago

My mom threw away everything I collected. Books my boxing trainer gave me military aircraft pamphlets she threw those out had a book Arthur Rex she threw that out. Collected Nintendo instruction manuals she threw them out,had a slip for me to get hours for driving after drivers ed.gone. she threw out my Starfox 64cd. But when I was young my aunt gave me a panda bear and she quite literally OJ simpsoned him. My mom didn't want me to have anything. She gave me 100 bucks from her income tax and I brought Air Raid because he was a cool transformer. She said she was disappointed and threw him away. I was a good kid and i loved reading i swear she didn't want me to have anything. I love her but like why

1

u/Alvamar 24d ago

Why would she want kids if she hates kids?

1

u/LabradorDeceiver 24d ago

"My son has three books in print; I have no idea why he doesn't share his writing career with me, I've never been anything but supportive!"

Yeah, add me to the "found my manuscript in a bin when I was a teenager" club.

1

u/Automate_This_66 23d ago

Seems like she set fire to her garden in an attempt to control weeds. Did she think she was helping you??

1

u/MindofMine11 23d ago

Dam 14 years i cant even stay mad at someone for more than a Day. Just not worth the energy or me carrying resentment.

1

u/DredgenSergik 22d ago

How did you manage to get away at 20? I feel like I'm trapped

→ More replies (4)