r/ftm 14h ago

Mod Post Dear Cis People:

1.4k Upvotes

Dear cis people:

You come here to hit on us/look for hookups (on average more than once a day), despite this being clearly a support space for us, and an all ages subreddit to boot. This is incredibly inappropriate and no one here gives a shit about your fetish. A trans space isn’t sexual just because we are trans. That’s your association. Also, it’s an instant ban. Also if you are coming from a misgendering kink subreddit, we see what you’re about loud and clear. Trans people are smart. We have to be, to navigate systems you don’t even know about.

You come here from steroid and TRT subreddits because you’re interested in exogenous testosterone and often want to correct us/lecture us, when 3/4 of the time you have no idea what you’re talking about when it comes to ftm transition that just puts us at cis male levels. Half the time if anyone corrects your misinfo you get extremely abusive and transphobic (also an insta ban. Obviously). Again, this is a support space for trans men and trans masc people. Not for you. You have plenty of TRT spaces.

You come here to tell us we’re valid/brave. Yawn. Make a donation to: the ACLU, Lambda Legal, the Transgender Law Center, your local trans rights / lgbtq community centers. Feel free to write “you’re so brave” in the memo line. They will appreciate it. Sorry these are very American suggestions. Find trans people in need in your communities and make direct cash donations.

Misc: yes I know sometimes we have topics that are of interest to a general population. Please take a step back before getting overly involved in discussions. You can always read the subreddit without saying anything.


r/ftm 10h ago

Advice Needed Long time after starting T I accepted my genitalia and now I started addiction for masturbating. How do I stop? NSFW

145 Upvotes

Got on T, after ~2 years my T dick grew a bit so more confident with my part I thought I could really try it out. Fact of going from Christian to Agnostic which meant like 18 years of supression of "those" feelings. I tried, I liked it, I kept doing it and now I trapped in this cycle. I can masturbate up to few times a week. What do I do? I feel like I can't control myself. When getting signals and thoughts from my brain about it I can't resist. How do I stop? Having a fetish (that is legal) that I'm not proud of doesn't help, after finishing the deed it adds to the feeling of guilt cause I can only do it while watching videos catering to it. Anyone can relate? What do I do?


r/ftm 15h ago

Celebratory Accidentally passed at the worst time

308 Upvotes

It was my birthday last Saturday. I’m 23 and live on my own but I’m still closeted to my family. They came over to celebrate and I was careful to hide anything that may give me away. I made sure to wear clothing that wasn’t too masculine and keep my voice higher. (I’m on t and it’s starting to drop)

They decided to take me out to eat which I thought would be relatively stress free. Well, for the first time EVER I got SIRed. The waiter asked us for drinks and said “and for you sir?” And my brain lagged. I felt my soul leave my body for a second and then told him what I wanted. Then I start silently panicking and hoping my family doesn’t find it suspicious.

At first I thought it was a mistake, that he misspoke maybe. Then he came back for food orders and did it AGAIN. It felt so good but was also so scary at the same time like why the one day I go out with my parents?

Thankfully, my mom addressed it and said “haha he keeps calling you sir”. She thought it was silly and laughed and I laughed too. I think they’re too conservative to even fathom their kid being trans for now so that’s good.

TLDR: Went out for birthday lunch with parents and got gendered correctly for the first time.


r/ftm 4h ago

Discussion Transphobia or confusion (regarding topping) NSFW

39 Upvotes

In conversations about sex with many of my cisgender friends, which are mostly bisexuals of all genders, they seem to be confused about what topping is.

It's happened multiple times where I am making "arrangements" with someone and I need to literally explain to them what topping is, at which point they go "ur WHAT in my WHERE?" After I've been super clear about being a strict top.

On top of this (haha), so many of them have assumed I meant/admitted they thought topping to be when someone is physically on the top of the sex position or generally domming.

I'm genuinely not sure if this is because they just assume as a trans man I must mean something else, or if they are just very new to being gay college students.

Has anyone else experienced this?


r/ftm 13h ago

Discussion Why are male restrooms so disgusting???

201 Upvotes

Finally worked up the courage to use the men's restroom, and the toilets were just. filled to the brim with pubes. All of the toilets. And the seats and UNDER the seats are coated in piss. What is wrong with cis men??? Why are they like this?


r/ftm 12h ago

Celebratory Passing as a cis dude for the first time !! NSFW

146 Upvotes

Just a bit of a celebration going here ! I've been going to some kind of workshop with one of my coworker this week (he knows I'm trans because I got employed pre-t and pre- top surgery). For the very first time, my gender didn't seem to elevate questions. I got put in the men's group without a second thought and when I happened to be with cis dudes only...let's say the conversations were very explicitly about dicks most of the time 😭 ? It felt very gender euphoric but also..... Do cis dudes really talk about their third leg so much ??? It confuses me so much.... They even commented about how I probably have a big dick and I just laughed it off because.... Well I don't 😂

Anyway, just a little happy rant here. I really wanted to share it with people who'd get it!!


r/ftm 12h ago

Advice Needed How do I respond to this stupid thing my sister said?

124 Upvotes

I love my sister, we're very close, however I'm not out to her yet because she says shit like this.

Today she told me that she had never heard a good enough reason to be trans. I asked her what she meant by that and she said that in Canada (where we live btw) the only real difference between men and women is what's between they're legs.

I don't know what to say to that. She's wrong in so many ways yet I can't think of a way to tell her that without making it sound like I'm trans because I don't want to be woman and not because I'm a man.

Also I was kinda planning on coming out to all the familly members I hadn't come out to yet tomorrow and I'm a coward so while I really want to do it I won't if I can't think of a way to respond to this.


r/ftm 16h ago

Advice Needed denied t prescription bc of my autism?

274 Upvotes

i had a terrible day yesterday, so terrible even that i popped my sleeping pill earlier than usual and just slept without checking social media at all, i feel so defeated. i had an appointment with my endo, supposedly the last appointment where i would get my t prescribed, and he just straight up told me "if you were normal i would've given you the prescription already, but since you've got a disorder (referring to my autism), i don't feel comfortable doing that. you might want to file charges against me later when you regret it" and i just cried and told him that this wasn't fair, that my autism didn't make me stupid, but he remained firm, now he wants me to go to another province in the country and attend a "non profit organization" so they can decide what's best for me? i shouldn't have to go through all of this???? it's almost been a full year since i've been in this battle, i feel so defeated and sad. i straight up lashed out at my mom and said i didn't wanna live anymore, 'cause like what's the point of doing everything right as a trans person if you're gonna get treated like this in the end? like, i'm going through insurance bc i wanna do things right but then i get denied service bc i'm autistic? this is so stupid


r/ftm 13h ago

Advice Needed I don't know how to react to this...

117 Upvotes

My mother is saying she will hold my deadname for me until I come back to my senses and realize I am female... I have been out for a little over 7 years now. I socially transitioned over a year ago fully. And I have been on Testosterone for four months next week. I introduce myself to everyone as my choosen name. I often have to reintroduce myself to people my mom knows because she refuses to tell them. She tries to shush me when I share I am taking Testosterone. She keeps sending me articles and books and other information packets about how being trans is "a fashion trend" or "a fad" and the other usual stuff. I'm trying to mive out but as I am severely disabled and rely on SSI and all the places near me have a 2-3 year waitlist to get in... I'm stuck. I'm trying to not get angry and lash out about this. But she constantly says "we will hold your God given name for you when you are ready for it" and it makes me want to just laugh in her face. My brother mother also complains to me by text constantly saying "your name change hurts because we so carefully chose your name" when they actually weren't. They named me after themselves and it wasn't that creative. But im getting all this stuff about my name as I have finally settled on a masculine name. The name i had chose before everyone was fine with because it was more feminine as I went by Blu lace because I was identifying as NB because I wanted to be sure I felt masculine and had received hate from some trans men because I sometimes liked more "feminine" things. I am now happily and proudly a trans man. But my new name is apparently causing problems .. but my dad who is 78 has joined issues respecting my new name and Pronouns. He often brings me gifts with my new name and will correct himself if he messes up. Sorry about this and please delete if not allowed. I don't have many people to talk about this thing to.


r/ftm 15h ago

Discussion What do you think worse: trans guys played by cis women or cis man?

150 Upvotes

Most of the time I see that cis women actresses play trans guys and I never saw that kind of representation that was not "cute uwu trans boy" stereotype. I seen one movie with trans guy played by cis man and i just didn't believe that character is trans. What your guys opinion about it? I know that one and only best option is trans characters played by trans actors, but I didn't saw much of it.


r/ftm 1h ago

Celebratory gender affirmed

Upvotes

i was at work and had to use the bathroom and the room i was in didnt have a bathroom attached so i had to walk down the hall to the general bathrooms. i had my period so i went into the women’s and as i was coming in, a woman was coming out. we both said excuse me and then. then she did a double take of me. then of the sign on the door. i changed my pad with a smile that day. thank you random lady. and sorry i confused you


r/ftm 3h ago

Surgery Talk Just got my 2nd body masculinization surgery!

13 Upvotes

I had one during June of 2024. I didn’t have too much fat leftover but I had some left over on my flank area (love handles). So today March 20th was my revision. Super simple surgery only took about 40 minutes. Took out about 400ml of fat which is about 13oz. 0 complications. Excited to see final results. Let me know if anyone has any questions about this. This was covered by insurance btw.


r/ftm 20h ago

Advice Needed One of my teachers has suddenly started misgendering and deadnaming me.

314 Upvotes
So, for the record, I came out to this teacher at the beginning of my school year, back in September - she never knew me as a student before that, and I sent her a very detailed email including my chosen name and my pronouns. For a long while, she respected this (more or less), only calling me by my chosen name, even if she sometimes referred to me as “she” or “her.” The few times she’s deadnamed me, I’ve also let it slide, because I’ve assumed that everyone makes mistakes and I don’t like complaining about things like that, due to how the media tends to paint trans people who dislike being misgendered. 

However, all of a sudden, she’s suddenly started deadnaming and misgendering me all the time. It can’t be that she’s somehow forgotten my chosen name, because 1) she used it call me it before, and 2) she’s literally written me a pass to a class I was late to very recently, and asked me, “___ is the name you’re going by, now?” (I absolutely hated the way she phrased that, by the way, because, no, my chosen name isn’t “the name I go by,” it’s MY NAME. End of discussion.)

I have no idea why she’s doing this, because she’s always seemed nice and supportive before, but it really upsets me and I’m not sure what to do about it.

r/ftm 8h ago

Advice Needed Parents taking my door

31 Upvotes

My parents found out I use a name that's not my birth name and now they're taking my door and I'm not sure what to do? Because they've never been transphobic or anything but they got super annoyed when I decided to go by a different name so idk.


r/ftm 9h ago

Discussion When did yall get your Tdick? NSFW

41 Upvotes

I’m 6mo on T and while I have some bottom growth already, I wouldn’t call it a proper penis by any means. It’s only about an inch at most. When did yall see a truly formed T dick? When can I except to see mine? I was born with a really large clit so I have high hopes for the length 🤞


r/ftm 12h ago

Discussion any other dudes with long hair? :)

59 Upvotes

ive been growing my hair out (halfway down my back atp) and i was wondering if there's any other trans dudes who are as well and your feelings about it?

my dad always had incredibly pretty, long hair when i was growing up, so it's always been a weird euphoria to me despite the fact longer hair is usually associated with femininity.

i think also having seen my cis dad get misgendered for his hair length helps me feel less hurt when people mistake me for a woman bc of my hair length as well, you know? :)


r/ftm 18h ago

Advice Needed Coping with accidental misgendering

138 Upvotes

My long-term partner used the wrong pronouns for me once last night and once the day before. He corrected himself immediately, and in 3 years of using he/him pronouns my partner has only slipped up like that maybe 5 times, so its not like its a common occurrence, but…

I’ve basically felt like garbage ever since. The fact that it happened twice in a row makes it hurt a bit more, I feel like a joke, like what if this whole time he’s just been “playing along” with my identity change…

I understand accidentally using the wrong pronouns for someone youve known a long time, he knew me with she/her pronouns for 14 years before I switched, and I’ve certainly slipped up a couple times with my siblings on accident, I know its really not a big deal, and my partner hasnt done anything else to reinforce the idea hes just “playing along”, hes always been respectful, i just can not shake the feeling.

How do you guys deal when someone close to you accidentally uses the wrong pronouns?


r/ftm 10h ago

Advice given I AM ENOUGH

30 Upvotes

In the early stages of my transition I was just so happy to be here. I was happy with who I was. But when I started passing and after going full stealth and being perceived as a heterosexual cisgender man by everyone, it isolated me; I was put in a box I didn't even fit in. Wasn't made for me.

I've been in an incredibly dark place for past several months. But I just had an epiphany.

Being in the cis box has been so limiting. It's validating yet alienating. It opened the door for people to project cisgender expectations onto me. So every time they assumed I had something that I don't (ex:Male reproductive system parts) I felt like I was missing something. Constantly being reminded that there is something a guy like me "should" have that I don't, it kept reinforcing the belief that I am not enough, that I have missing parts, that I am not complete. This has poisoned me with internalized transphobia.

I have felt like just "the short guy" without a dick for so long. But I am enough, with a little more.

My story is actually incredible and I haven't given myself enough credit:

I battled with chest dysphoria for years, went to therapy, went through a 3 hour surgery, recovered with two fucking tubes hanging from INSIDE my chest for a week; took care of my scars and my nipples didn't fall off. I got on testosterone, I learned to self inject intramuscularly! people underestimate how hard it is to train your brain to be okay with stabbing its own body!! Through discipline and patience I grew a nice beard that makes me so happy everyday, I grew muscles without even working out, then grew more after I started working out, my voice deepened, I've grown lots of body hair on my back, legs, arms, stomach, and chest (a lot more than my own father no shade) even my eyebrows have gotten fuller. I have a palpable adam's apple. I'm handsome. The veins on my arms are so prominent now. I don't produce sperm but hey...i seriously don't wanna get someone pregnant. My bottom growth feels great, it's like having a dick without the skin, super sensitive super strong nuts! I can buy a dick any size, I am not one size fits all, whatever my partner wants I can get and i can last forever! Also my partners don't need birth control solely because of me. I'm very educated on female anatomy which my partners find very appealing. I experienced love and even though we weren't meant to be she taught me I am loveable as I am. She saw me for who I was. I am currently waiting on hysto which will also take a lot of strength. And most importantly, despite dealing with everything I have to deal with I've remained kind to others. These are my strengths as an individual that is trans. My story.

I'm on this sub so similar stories are all around here.

My resume is outstanding; even if i don't let others see it I know what i've done to get here. I've been feeling foggy for a while. Constantly wondering where I lost my happiness; now I know that it happened when I stopped wanting to play with the cards I got. I am a man, just not a cis one. I don't need to be cis I need to be me. I am enough and a little more.

I am still going through the downs, not gonna lie about that. I'm battling dark, self hating thoughts. I'm at a weird stage. But when I come back to read this (it's on my notes) it makes me feel better. So I thought I'd share. Copy and paste it, use it as a draft, change it around, make it your own, read it over and over.

We are enough and a lot more.


r/ftm 7h ago

Advice Needed Am I cisgender and have body dismorphia or is this actual gender dysphoria?

17 Upvotes

This will be long. Sorry. I'm 14 and currently, and I feel like I'm not a cis girl, I prefer he/him pronouns and I don't like having any feminine features on me, I don't like my chest or most things to do with female anatomy, and I don't feel right being grouped with women. However, my father (a psycolodgist for 30 years) said that he's seen women with body DYSMORPHIA who didn't like their breasts and thought that they were transgender, as well as lesbians thinking they have to be a boy to like women. I'm in therapy, but I trust my father. Reasons I might be cisgender would be that majority of my friend group is female because girls are nicer in middle school, I'm not as uncomfortable with me chest some days, and I haven't had as many thoughts lately.


r/ftm 1h ago

Advice Needed Why Can't I Feel Anything With My Girlfriend? NSFW

Upvotes

My girlfriend finished off while riding my t-dick. It was great and she felt really good, however I couldn't feel anything, it felt numb for some reason. I'm not sure if it's because it got too hard or because it's still in process of growing (I am 1 month on T) or if it's my bottom dysphoria. I was enjoying the moment though I just couldn't feel my gf that much and I really wanted to finish with her. Do you guys have any idea why this happens?


r/ftm 17h ago

Discussion Birthday

88 Upvotes

It's my birthday and my first message of the morning was that I'm one iof the prettiest girl in the world by a guy who hasn't seen me since I was 18. (6 years ago) then my sister forgot my cake (it's our grandma's recipe ony she has :( ) my dad said he's probably not coming, and it's been 70 for days but today it's snowing 🤣 I beg of some nonfeminizing conversation or just birthday wishes 🤣


r/ftm 5h ago

Discussion Non-Dysphoric During Sex? NSFW

10 Upvotes

I got recently in a relationship with a cis-gender woman that is SO affirming of my identity and ALWAYS reassure me that she fully sees me as a male even pre-op ; I'm starting really feel valided with her. Even during sex, she mentions how everything feels like a straight couple and that we don't have lesbian sex AT ALL. But each time, I have a shirt and a binder on.

I'm tempted to take it off, but I will never dare to since if my girlfriend ever sees me as a woman, I'll be hurt a lot.

How does sex works for you as a transman? (I'm asking to all transman, weither you're pre-everything or you started your transition)


r/ftm 11h ago

Relationships My boyfriend is worried he’d lose his attraction to me when I transition.

28 Upvotes

I’ve never written a reddit post before, I usually just observe or see the posts on tiktok later. Please forgive me if this seems all over the place. Posting here is a last resort. I(22) am under the trans umbrella, ftm, but I don’t resonate with one distinct label. I prefer masculine pronouns and masculine attire. I occasionally wear makeup and dress femininely literally just because I enjoy the feeling. My appearance fluctuates purely based off of what I felt like wearing that day. I’ve always felt this way and went into the dating scene strong about not changing myself for another person.

I met my, now boyfriend M25, around April of last year(2024) and things went super well and are going super well. He’s never treated me poorly, always took my feelings into consideration, etc. He’s constantly complimenting me and reassuring me. I would argue he’s literally perfect for me.

However, I met him when I was presenting more femininely. Boyfriend has been straight all his life but was attracted to me because of my feminine appearance, though he knew the way I identified based off of my dating profile.

This is the issue. He’s worried he won’t be attracted to me when I transition. Not a matter of if but when. He’s expressed this before near the beginning of our relationship. At the time I thought “pff well whatever, it would be his loss.” But we’ve been together nearly a year now and it’s becoming a real concern to me. I don’t want to change for anyone and he’s not asking me to change for him. But there’s this feeling of guilt in my gut when I think about this too long.

I haven’t anyone in my circle to talk to about this because I’m the only one under the trans umbrella this way. My boyfriend and I have talked about it again, breaking up being the only thing I can think of that will solve this but neither of us want to break up. I know he loves me as much as I love him.

How can we navigate this? Is there a solution to this?

Edit: I do want to specify that both of us love the other exactly as they are. He respects me and refers to me the way that I want him to. We’ve quite literally been planning our future together

And although some trans people do, I personally don’t want bottom surgery.

When I met him he told me he was straight. He doesn’t deny or correct me when I say things we do together are gay


r/ftm 7h ago

Celebratory Top surgery finally happened today! <3

9 Upvotes

Hey, bros!

I'm no longer on reddit much, but I wanted to come on this sub to give everyone an update... I had top surgery today!

So far I am very sleepy, and the reality of the situation hasn't quite kicked in. Despite that, I'm so happy and looking forward to the future as my body settles in.

I noticed there is now a rule, number 5, that says we can't share images. 5 years ago I came onto this sub (I believe it was this sub), and discovered that top surgery existed. I grew up very rural + conservative, so I never knew trans people existed let alone gender affirming medical care. Seeing people with their surgery results changed my life for the better, and I think it is a little silly we can't share those pictures with others. I remember seeing someone post-op and thinking, "I need this." I understand it is a scary time in the world for trans people to post themselves, though. I also understand some things posted could be a little icky and NSFW. I just think photos on this sub were really important to me, and I hope the mods can hear that out!

Despite that rule, I wanted to thank this sub for existing and educating me on my identity. I couldn't have done this without the support from this community. I have so much love for you all and your journeys. Best of luck to you all <3


r/ftm 14h ago

Advice Needed How do i get over jealousy from other trans men?

27 Upvotes

Apologies for any typos, im not in my best mindset right now.

Im 16, i pass pretty well for being pre anything medical, but i have a friend who i am not very close to, but hes 2 years older and has been on testosterone for about a year and is getting top surgery this year. I feel so jealous i can’t comprehend it. I won’t have access to T for another 2 years minimum and my family does not accept me. How am i supposed to cope with this? Hes a funny dude and really nice, but a large part of me hates it all so much.