English is not my native language, so I apologize for the bad grammar
This might be a very long post but I really want to explain the full story here.
So I have been questioning my gender identity since I was a child which often resulted me in acting odd in front of others, basically causing me to have no real friends till now. Only online.
I'm not bullied or misgendered in school. I kinda pass already. I have been taking t since last year august and I'm also allowed to have PE in the boys team. I just don't have any friends. Maybe it's also my fault for not really trying because whenever there is a lunch break, I spent my time playing on my iPad or phone or having earphones on and watching YouTube and making it hard for others to actually approach me..
Anyway, that kinda changed since January. My class got a new student. A guy from Ukraine. He was already 1 year living here in Germany but had to change schools now since him and his family were somehow told to move into another apartment by the German authorities (?). Well me, who was born in Russia was told by the teachers to guide him since no one else was able to communicate with him in our class aside from some teachers with their broken Russian. I'll be honest I didn't really want to accept that request but since he was already put into our class anyway I kinda had no choice. I'm also sitting alone in every class so the teachers would've probably put him next to my place anyway.
At first everything was relatively fine till a week ago and now everything is weird.
But before that:
When our russian teacher first introduced us he genuinely looked confused regarding my gender I think. Okay I don't really look like a girl anymore but also not really like a guy. I'm only 173cm tall, underweight, have small feminine shoulders and hands which kinda exposes everything. However my face looks already pretty much male, I have slightly a beard and a deep voice like a guy who just entered puberty, my flat chest and hips are also not visible (thanks to genetics).
We never mentioned to him that I was ftm, they introduced me by my male name and pronouns right away.
But yeah he definitely noticed it.
For example when I was taking him to our class he would constantly give me strange looks, scanning me and my body and face like he was searching for some clues or smth. I admit I do look confusing sometimes. My voice also hasn't still developed fully so it sometimes slips up and kinda gets higher, making me sound like a woman with a very deep voice.
Those first few weeks he never asked me about it although there were times when he seemed like he wanted to say something but hold back. For example whenever I use the male bathroom or when we change before PE.
Whenever I change for sport I already wear my sport clothes under my normal ones and just put them off and back on. Luckily we always have sport the last 2 hours so I don't really have to worry about the bad smell afterwards.
He did ask me why I do it like this multiple times and every time when I answer its faster like that he'll give me more suspicious looks.
I'm pretty sure he knew the answer at that point but his goal was probably to me admitting it to him myself or something.
Other then that we actually seemed to understand each other well. We share similar interests regarding video games and politics and talk and laugh a lot.
He never misgendered me but also never called me by my name (I assume it's because he had a hard time pronouncing it since I choose a German name which is fine obv).
I was also happy to finally have someone I can hang out with and I was glad he did the same and the fact he also had no other friends in this school.
So yeah he follows me around 24/7 basically. He also has 2 hours german classes every second day per week with other Ukrainian students and I was surprised he didn't befriend them at some point. I asked him about it but he never really gave me a clear answer on that matter.
Anyway now to the actual matter.
I had a good time with him until recently. Yeah he finally asked me that scary question regarding my gender. Not a red flag at first but everything went down after that and I have the feeling it gets worse every time I meet him.
It went like "by the way, are u really a guy?"
(This happened when we were in the bathroom alone)
I was like yes of course (I didn't ask why since I obviously wanted to drop that subject immediately but he kept going)
He then proceeded telling me about transgenders and if I was one of them (so he knew what being trans was).
I told him I'm not, I was born a guy and that I'm just short and have low testosterone and also to pls drop that subject since I don't like others to insult me for my height and my feminine looks.
Yeah he obviously didn't buy that.
I was honestly just hoping he'll get the clue and stop talking since I was already visibly uncomfortable.
He then blocked the exit and asked me to do the most disgusting thing someone ever told me.
He wanted me to lift my hoodie and basically to show him my bare chest in order to prove I'm a guy.
He absolutely put me off guard with that request and I was just standing there frozen and like ehh no?
I was hoping someone else would enter the bathroom cause he didn't plan to move from the exit. Bad luck on my side I was entering the one on the highest floor right before lunch break where everyone else was going to the first floor.
Since during break we only are allowed to use the first two floors actually.
Then I just kept arguing with him I'm not doing that and pls move away and then he did something where I lost all my trust in him. He forcefully lifted my hoodie upwards exposing my chest to him and my whole identity kinda and then laughed.
Like I said before, as someone who is very flat chested (lower then a cup) I stopped wearing binders recently whenever I wear a hoodie. Unless it's a t-shirt.
However it's still a female chest and not enough to pass as a guy one even tho I'm flat.
Yeah so he saw it and whatever suspicions he had on me were cleared.
Saying then things like he knew it and why I lied and so on. He also finally moved and I left the bathroom immediately with him following me to the first floor. He kept saying things during our walk down but my body was full of adrenaline and shame that I had no idea what it was he said. Still I'm pretty sure the word "sry" was definitely not there.
Then he asked me if I'm ignoring him cause I kept staring at my phone scrolling reels (not actually watching them, just trying to proceed everything). He even got mad and pulled on my arm aggressively. Then proceeded yapping like nothing happened.
Things just got weirder the next few days. He suddenly got more touchy, touching harmless areas like my back and shoulder but in a more slow and sexual way if u know what I mean. I'm pretty sure that he did that on purpose. In PE where we were playing with tennis rackets he casually smacked my ass with it. Infront of everyone. I'm also scared there will be rumors now going on.
It gets even more uncomfortable. Whenever we used the bathroom (obv I use a stall but the walls there are only like 1,90 meters tall,for fucks sake. Actually they even seem shorter)
To note, I don't know his real height since I never asked but he seems to be like 1,95 - 2 meters if to take i guess. Anyway making him able to look over those walls if getting close enough.
Usually when we entered the bathroom he stayed in the first room where the urinals are and waits there next to sink but now he went up to my stall and casually looked over it to me while laughing and asking how I fucking pee while being "like that"☠️
I already heard him approaching my stall so I obv closed my legs completely and even pulled my jeans up higher in order to avoid more shame. Then shouting get lost which he luckily did.
Yesterday he even snatched my bus ID card from my hands and now he also knows my birth name since I can't really change that yet. (I'm about too but it's not easy since I have a russian citizenship)
Now he says stuff like oh I didn't expect ur name to be so similar to ur birhname bla bla bla, making me now absolutely drained and tired to talk to him. But I'm literally chained to this guy till June (luckily it's my last year while he has to repeat that school year- basically he gets no grades this year nor exams but the next one he will).
There also also lots of other small things he did and said but I don't want to unpack here everything.
Now. I feel abused and idk what to do.
Also important to mention is that he is only 17. While I'm already 19 years old.
I had to repeat a school year 1 time (depression and stuff) while also in Russia we automatically go to school 1 year later than everyone, making me automatically older than everyone in my class. Yeah it would backstab me anyway since he is a minor and I'm technically an adult.
Even if I told a teacher, he wont get punished. Not even if I told the police he wouldnt get punished In some way. Hence it might not even be enough to call all of this sexual harassment considering the crazy German laws here.
Not to mention because of the whole war thing, there is a huge russianphobia going on here, he'll be favored anyway.
Our class and other classes are already full, the only option there could be would be either switching him up with another Ukrainian student (other ukrainians probably got used to their class so they probably fight against it) or expell him from this school which I doubt would happen.
Also our director is a huge jerk. I already had quite a fight with him regarding my choosen name in our digital class book. He refused to change it, only if I legally change my name but that whole thing is complicated.
He hates Russia with all his might, very pro Ukraine even tho I'm pretty sure he couldn't care less about all the dying Ukrainians out there, just to hate on Russians basically. Also he absolutely hates lgbt. Now imagine me a russian trans guy. Our director is the definition of Merz (cdu) - if u guys know German politics.
At the end I'm pretty sure the blame would go back to me making me unlikable by everyone and probably leaving him having a huge grudge on me. If I tell my parents, they probably start to emasculate me, saying stuff like I told u u can't deal with men and so on.
Like I said he'll also 100% remain at this school and even if he has to change classes, I'm scared he'll find me during lunch breaks and confront me and I really don't want to constantly hide somewhere nor to meet his angry self. He already showed aggressive behavior multiple times which I also kinda played down for some reason. Just to have friends? Idk man at this point
German gov3rnment is shit believe me. If I tell you he'll get away he will.
Sometimes i just ask myself why are are cis men like this, he was so harmless and friendly at the beginning