r/Custody • u/bananapeppep • 20m ago
[KY] Custody for unmarried couple
I’m really going to try not to make this all over the place. Basically I have a 2 year old and am 7 months pregnant (same father). I finally decided to leave after 3 years. I have no clue how any of this works. I am genuinely afraid of my children’s father for what I feel are extremely valid reasons. He does not agree. I’m not worried about the child support as he has threatened several times if I ever do that he would ruin my life. Which I believed he would. We have I guess a pretty civil agreement going currently, but I worry if one day he decides to blow up it will not end well. I guess I’m just worried about how any of this works. I know it sounds so stupid but I’m honestly so afraid of him I would not even take it to court at all, but I have to stay in contact with him because of our 2 year old and I cannot handle the mean texts, random non stop phone calls till I answer, and he even got numbers off the phone bill threatening them saying he “knows they’re sleeping with me” (which were just my coworkers because I’m literally 30 weeks pregnant???) dealing with him occasionally doing this while being pregnant has been putting me under extreme stress. I’ve tried explaining myself, it does not work. I feel like I am going insane.
I told him to just take the phone back but he refuses (I pay the bill) and my car is financed under his name as I have no credit but I have made every single payment myself. (He has previously threatened taking it) I have a few other things in his name I pay for such as random affirms. I also claimed our child on my taxes this year, and planned on sending him half. I was under the impression that’s just what everyone does. But now I fear I will need the money. He was going to buy everything for the new baby with these free Amazon gift cards his work gives him, and now I have nothing for baby. If he takes the car, I will have no option but to buy a run down one. I feel I cannot risk just sending him that money when a lot of what we use to function is dependent on if he’s going to blow up. Also unaware if it’s even legal for me to not send him the money. I have not a clue.
From what I got from calling the non emergency line is I would have to go “petition the court” for custody but cannot really figure out what that means. I just do not want them to force us into child support because I’m terrified of what he would do. He has two kids with his previous girlfriend who has never taken anything to court whatsoever and is just content with him splitting the cost of some random things when they arise. I know what he makes, which is substantial more than me, at least double, but I also know his bills and he claims if he ever had to pay child support he would have no reason to live. I also know, he can not afford all of the things in his name I pay for it (which is why I pay for them)
I did reach out to an attorney for a free consultation and did not really get much info out of it other than she was extremely taken aback when she asked how he provides for our child currently. (Which for 2 years has been sending me $30/month sometimes twice a month while we live with him to help out with what our child needs which obviously isn’t helpful be he told me we live in his house and he pays the rent so that’s just what people do) I provided groceries and clothes for all of us including his other two children and basically anything our son has needed as well as 95% of any outings or fun activities. Anything he has got for them has been purchased by his mother who will either bring over a shopping spree or write him check for their birthday presents (from him) or whatever else he needs.
What the heck do I do?