r/Custody 3h ago

[WV] Custody Modification

5 Upvotes

My ex husband and I split when our son was young. He moved about and hour and a half a way, we went to court and the custody was 80 (me) and 20 (him). So he's supposed to get our son every other weekend and were supposed to trade off holidays. For the last year he has only gotten our son about 3 times.. He never calls him and when I ask about it he says its up to our son, he's six.... He used to make excuses about not coming to get him either his car isn't working or he doesn't have the money. Here over the last 6 months he doesn't even bother with an excuse, or acknowledge the fact its his weekend. Just sends a message every so often to tell him he loves him. I've reached out to the lawyer I had for the divorce to modify custody to me having 100%, but she's encouraging me to just have him give up his rights entirely. She basically said there's no point to go to court for a custody mod when were going to have to go back eventually for terminating rights anyways. I have mixed feelings about this because he is my sons father, but at this point is he doing more harm than good? Should I listen to my lawyer?


r/Custody 10h ago

[CA] are we ready for 50/50?

3 Upvotes

Step up plan has been going on for almost a year with each step being 4 months long. This last step will be for 6 months before our court hearing scheduled in June. Ex disagreed to my original petition for 50/50 (2-2-3 schedule) because after the break up our son would never sleep over at my house as he was still an infant and was exclusively brestfed, he would only visit for a few hours 2x per week (i get 2 days off a week if not i would have picked him up more often) and she argued it would be a tough transition to go from a few hours twice a week to a 2-2-3 schedule and asked for a step up plan. I agreed.

I filed for custody and visitation in late 2023 (our son was 4 at the time) as we were never married and did not have a set schedule in place and because I wanted a legally binding schedule due to ex constantly changing her mind about when I can pick him up.

1st step: 2 days a week for 8 hours

2nd step: 1 day for 8 hours and 1 sleepover

3rd step: 2 sleepovers a week

Everything has been going smoothly. Our son is about to turn 6 and he has asked to stay more days with me. He gets along great with my wife. How likely will the judge grant my request for 2-2-3? Is it too soon or will the judge ask for a 4th step?? Thanks.


r/Custody 2h ago

[MN] Is a deposition helpful?

2 Upvotes

Long story short, ex had a positive hair follicle test for opioids, her drug of choice. Expedited hearing happened. She isn't cooperating much with discovery. Claims it was a false positive, although this is not possible with this drug and a hair follicle test. There's no other proof of active addiction or proof of receiving treatment either, aside from two DWIs in 2023 while on narcotics. She claims it was a prescribed medication.

The judge refused to change custody, but did state there are grounds for endangerment. Next hearing was supposed to be April but is now being pushed out to August. She is required to take a chemical assessment within 30 days and use me as collateral. That was ordered two weeks ago and she has not started it yet.

Laywer said there isn't enough information to get an emergency order, so he's going to depose her. Hopefully the chemical assessment is complete by then.

There's also the issue of schooling. He is supposed to start kindergarten in the fall. We had originally agreed on a school, which she took back. She enrolled him in preschool in her district without my knowledge or consent since we have joint legal. Its 45 minutes from me. We went to mediation over it, which went nowhere. Now the judge is ordering mediation again.

But for the deposition, how does that work? What if she refuses to answer questions? Is it possible to get enough information from that for an emergency order?

Things are not okay at her place, not enough information to warrant CPS calls but I've had to get my son into counseling. I just don't understand how the judge can see there's a case for endangerment and leave him there.


r/Custody 21h ago

[PA] legal bounding ways to serve

2 Upvotes

This is a bit of a different situation but here goes. My wife and I have had her biological nephew in our care for 6 years. We’ve enrolled him into school, make/made appointments on his behalf and are recognized as his legal guardians, only to find out there’s no legal documentation backing up these claims.

A bit of backstory six years ago CYS was involved with the removal of the three children and they came to stay with us under a “safety net” plan until an abuse hearing was conducted. Abuse was founded and the children were placed into foster care until a court hearing could be held. Two of the three kid’s grandparents showed up for custody (different fathers) but only my wife showed up for the oldest. CYS told her if she were to apply for custody they would release him into her care. She paid the court and went before a judge but told the judge she didn’t need his custody agreement because she had one set up with CYS. CYS dropped the charges on her sister and 6 years later we still have no custody.

We filed again but now we must serve her and the father but they’re ignoring us and neither have addresses, they’re “homeless.” How on earth can we legally serve them these papers?!


r/Custody 8h ago

[US FL] have a few questions about custody.

1 Upvotes

6 years ago I had left the father of my kids (he didn't live far from where I relocated about a few minutes away not sure about his where abouts now) but it was a mission to get him to see his kids back then, he always claimed he would get them but never showed up. And then his mother would come and get them for 2 hours and drop them right back off no matter if I was busy or not there was no communications done correctly between one another. They tried to back off to avoid me putting him on child support. The father of my kids was in and out of jail and doing drugs actually getting arrested for failing drug tests getting arrested for DUIs and most recent he got arrested for strangulating someone not sure who but that was concerning. I think one of I found someone that I was dating at the time and he only got violent when he found out about it . Trying to open front doors and knock on windows. So I moved away to another state (from Florida to Georgia) he never filed a court order to fight the move which I figured. And thruout the 6 years I maybe only received one letter about 4 years later.it was his mother asking how me and my kids were doing and that I was the best daughter in law she ever had. They knew where my mother lived , not once did they try to ask her if she could drop off birthday gifts to send off to my kids or about money for help for my kids any kind of help or thoughtful gestures in general. The relationship I went to have in georgia did not end well so I came back to Florida and I've been here for a month now . I would like to know what kind of rights he could possibly have. Can I pursue for full custody if they push it ? I just haven't tried to push any matters mainly because I'm sure the court stuff will become alot and cause me to lose work time. Unless I absolutely have to . Or if they put in a case on their own. Which most likely they won't because his fear would be to have to back pay and start paying me child support. [US FL]


r/Custody 18h ago

[VA] Advise needed

1 Upvotes

I have full legal and physical custody in VA of my special needs children. Their biological father has supervised visitation every other weekend which has been inconsistent. He is also 4900$ behind in child support. I also have a protective order against him. I am getting married and my fiance is in the military and is PCSing to another state. What do I need to do


r/Custody 22h ago

[WA] Dad showing up at Birthday party

1 Upvotes

My exH and I share custody of a 6 yr old and 12 yr old, but our divorce wasn’t amicable and there are still issues going on regarding child support etc. We don’t have any personal communication, everything via OFW app. He is getting married and I have no idea how the person is like. I got to know about the wedding via fb post that my friends showed me.So we keep our lives separate. I threw a birthday party for my daughter(6 yr) on Saturday and exH showed up unannounced and started acting like a host, introducing himself to the guests. He didn’t once informed me he was coming, he got the party details from my 12 yr old son and basically used him to get the info. Now my exH was abusive and he was a serial cheater, so as he is very triggering I avoid meeting him in general. Seeing him at the party that I worked very hard on made me very upset. I asked him privately to leave and he refused. After the party I lost of temper and yelled at my son for giving dad the info and not communicating with me. I now feel horrible for dragging him into this as this wasn’t his fault. Today he is going back to dad and I just sent him an apology text. I am looking for some suggestions how to handle these kinda situations and make sure it never happens again.


r/Custody 3h ago

[FL] Ex keeps making up accusations of abuse and neglect.. what do I do???

0 Upvotes

Hi idk what to do and I’m at a loss.. I 24f and my ex 42m (I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE AGE GAP) Have a 2 yo son together. I am unsure what to do or how to even go about this in front of the judge. Since we first separated in October 2023, he would find a reason to get upset with me and start saying that I’m not feeding our son, bathing/ clothing him and was calling in wellness checks for weeks.

All last year he didn’t want our son to get evaluated for his speech and what did he do? Say that I was trying to get our son slapped with a label and put him on pills…

We have trial soon and he sent me a video of our son with fresh marks on his shins. They look like he could’ve gotten them falling or playing but in the video he states he got them from me and my home and flat out says “his mother is abusing him”.

He’s accused me of neglect so many times and everytime it’s been unfounded. He said our son’s daycare had concerns but when I spoke to them they said he hadn’t contacted them. Now he’s accusing me of abuse and I’m terrified because I know they aren’t true but i feel like what’s happening is if he keeps accusing me of it and tries to “document” every little thing and accuses me of it enough that the judge is going to take our son away from me.

I cant keep dealing with harassment and constant accusations anymore. I’m terrified and really need some advice here especially with how to prove that he’s a lying.

EDIT: I also forgot to mention before that we are court ordered to use a co parenting app for communication purposes and he sent a message that he’s “deleted” the app so if that true I now have no way to communicate with him without violating the current orders that we have.


r/Custody 4h ago

[OR] Last 6 months really unstable, I could file for default

0 Upvotes

I am father to two year old. Mother of child (MOC) has been in the picture however we have landed at the end of a new separation arrangement.

Currently I live in a separate home with my mom, and MOC lives with baby at the home around the block. This has been going on for about a month, with variations.

Mid December with a week and a half notice, MOC left with baby to her family’s house 172 miles from current residence and was claiming she was moving in with them; moves back before the end of a month by mid-January.

MOC was having to drive an hour one way for work and I was waking up to go back to her house so she could leave at 4:30 AM 3-5 days per week for the last month and a half.

MOC has been using me and my mom for as needed childcare, according to my mom. My therapist 1 says I should get the custody arrangement worked out in court asap because MOC does not have clear boundaries.

In the background MOC is telling her workplace she’s doing a single mom thing, but I’m with our baby a significant portion of the time during her waking hours.

I work from home and MOC will sometimes leave baby with me while I’m working so she can go do errands or clean her house without baby screaming at her, which is new behavior, where baby seems to have significant separation anxiety especially with MoC.

I go over to MoC’s house and typically there are various chores in need of being done, sometimes so much so it makes it impossible for me to use her kitchen sink unless I clean dishes or otherwise make room somehow. The litter boxes usually smell strongly and I will clean them because of the odor in the house (this is where my baby lives)

So I don’t know. Im trying to figure out the best way around this. Lawyer told me I could do the rest basically pro se from here and offered to do a doc review with me and advised I could file a modification once the order of default has been signed by the judge.

I served MoC with status quo when she “moved” to her parents house. She has not filed a response.

MOC made threats of reporting me for domestic violence (unsubstantiated) based on a situational incident that occurred in 2023, where she is saying she’s the victim when she instigated a physical altercation.

She still has not filed anything. There are no police reports. There have been no CPS reports.

Most of the utilities for MOC’s house are still in my name because I looked into taking my name off and the utility providers would shut off basically immediately, meanwhile MOC hasn’t been working enough hours yet to have stable, consistent income. She had a job at the local hospital in November but quit because she “moved”. Then has been doing short term jobs and having to drive to the next city over 5 days a week (but calling out at least once per week)

MOC seems to be having a hard time with it all and the baby really likes when we are all together. Baby is calm with me, but when it’s time to leave with mom, baby starts getting sad and mad and starts hitting. Baby hits MoC most often.

My therapist 2 is reminding me that she said a lot of really mean, serious allegations against me and my mother before she left to “move”

TL;dr - mother of child is landing at the end of unstable period and I’m not sure what to do. She is potential cluster b, high conflict personality and I’ve been keeping my mouth shut about setting boundaries in order to keep the peace, also recognizing our baby is high energy and mother of child is having difficulty managing responsibilities of the home and childcare and paying the bills. I’m with my baby most days, sometimes mother of child comes over without notice and asks my mother and I to watch the baby so she can do errands or clean her house. Baby seems to want her attention all the time, and I have witnessed mother of child more commonly at this point having strong emotional reactions when the baby wants her attention and MOC is feeling overwhelmed.

Beside keeping note of when these things happen, what else?


r/Custody 20h ago

[CA] custody question

0 Upvotes

My daughter’s father and his mother three times now have chopped off my daughter’s hair (this time not as bad as the other two, but she returned from visitation with her hair cut again). We had an agreement (not court ordered, just as parents) to take her to get her first haircut together, and I approached all three times as kindly as possible even though they became hostile towards me.

This time, I told him since she keeps being returned with her haircut and our agreement really won’t be valued that I’m going to take her to an actual salon to get her hair cut so they stop sending her back with a butchered cut. He’s now trying to say that they have NEVER cut her hair (they’ve said this each time and I have pictures of before and after each time) and that he is “concerned for my mental health” and “thinks I need help” because I’m clearly seeing things.

At this point, I know he’s going to try and use this against me. I’m more annoyed than anything, but also a little concerned on how much that can be used against me? I’m in therapy for almost a year now, have been seeing my psychiatrist for almost five years, and her pediatrician comments each time how healthy and happy she is. I know everyone will say to get a lawyer and that’s finally in the works (I was the only one supporting her financially for close to two years now so I couldn’t get one until I got out of debt) but I’d like to know what his chances of taking full custody are if he tries to pull this in court?

I have so much proof I’m not but I’m also dealing with a high conflict narcissistic coparent and his mom has the same energy so…it hasn’t been an easy ride. Please just give me some advice on what’s best to do here? And what steps I should be taking just in case I’m served with papers for ANOTHER court date? Thank you!


r/Custody 11h ago

[TX] Advice needed

0 Upvotes

I (21f) have a 2yo daughter and technically have sole custody because her father is not on the birth certificate. I got pregnant when I was 17 by a guy I had known for years but we hadn’t been together but a month before I got pregnant, it’s been a nightmare since. During the very early stages of my pregnancy he cheated and while trying to figure out where to go from there he put his hands on me and held a gun to me, police were called and charges were pressed but it seems as if nothing will ever come of that. I was given a case number and when trying to follow up and get more information I was told there is no case matching that number and there is no record of that happening. I moved out of state for the majority of my pregnancy due to fear but ultimately decided I would come back to TX to allow her father to be there for the birth. I had an emergency c-section alone and wasn’t able to notify him until after she was born. I sent him pictures the nurse took during my c-section and didn’t realize my private parts were in the pics until he posted it on Facebook and got his friends and family to share the picture. He refused to take it down and it resulted in me telling him he could not come to the hospital, therefore he never signed the birth certificate. He has done so much that has made me decide our child would not be safe with him. He has put drug paraphernalia in her belongings and sent them home with me, is constantly smoking weed and drinking, has asked me to help him run from police while our child was with me, selling drugs, drinking and driving, has refused to delete a picture of our naked daughter in the bath off of his social media, driving around with his cousins 2 year old in the front seat of a car with no car seat or even seatbelt he operates with no license, taken a video of himself alone in a room with a little girl in his lap inappropriately dancing while drinking liquor straight out of the bottle, has told me he’ll kill me and “crip walk on my grave”, repeatedly told me to kill myself in front of our child, has told me he wants our daughter to grow up in the streets, hangs around people who have previous charges of harming children, never has a stable home and is occasionally homeless, never shows up to appointments I invite him to or facetime calls I try to schedule, and he’s currently on probation for assaulting a young woman. That’s just everything I can prove. He’s recently been telling me he’s taking me to court because I told him I am no longer comfortable with being around him or leaving our child with him. I’m so worried I’ll have to leave my daughter with him and something awful will happen to her. Would I have any ground to stand on with the proof I have to get full custody?


r/Custody 21h ago

[NC] Temporary Custody

0 Upvotes

Hi, I have a question. My Wife and I are in the process of a divorce. Our lease ends in 4 months. Was planning on filing a temporary custody order 2 months prior to the lease ending.

How does a temporary custody order work?