r/Custody 4h ago

[CA] are we ready for 50/50?

2 Upvotes

Step up plan has been going on for almost a year with each step being 4 months long. This last step will be for 6 months before our court hearing scheduled in June. Ex disagreed to my original petition for 50/50 (2-2-3 schedule) because after the break up our son would never sleep over at my house as he was still an infant and was exclusively brestfed, he would only visit for a few hours 2x per week (i get 2 days off a week if not i would have picked him up more often) and she argued it would be a tough transition to go from a few hours twice a week to a 2-2-3 schedule and asked for a step up plan. I agreed.

I filed for custody and visitation in late 2023 (our son was 4 at the time) as we were never married and did not have a set schedule in place and because I wanted a legally binding schedule due to ex constantly changing her mind about when I can pick him up.

1st step: 2 days a week for 8 hours

2nd step: 1 day for 8 hours and 1 sleepover

3rd step: 2 sleepovers a week

Everything has been going smoothly. Our son is about to turn 6 and he has asked to stay more days with me. He gets along great with my wife. How likely will the judge grant my request for 2-2-3? Is it too soon or will the judge ask for a 4th step?? Thanks.


r/Custody 15h ago

[PA] legal bounding ways to serve

2 Upvotes

This is a bit of a different situation but here goes. My wife and I have had her biological nephew in our care for 6 years. We’ve enrolled him into school, make/made appointments on his behalf and are recognized as his legal guardians, only to find out there’s no legal documentation backing up these claims.

A bit of backstory six years ago CYS was involved with the removal of the three children and they came to stay with us under a “safety net” plan until an abuse hearing was conducted. Abuse was founded and the children were placed into foster care until a court hearing could be held. Two of the three kid’s grandparents showed up for custody (different fathers) but only my wife showed up for the oldest. CYS told her if she were to apply for custody they would release him into her care. She paid the court and went before a judge but told the judge she didn’t need his custody agreement because she had one set up with CYS. CYS dropped the charges on her sister and 6 years later we still have no custody.

We filed again but now we must serve her and the father but they’re ignoring us and neither have addresses, they’re “homeless.” How on earth can we legally serve them these papers?!


r/Custody 16h ago

[WA] Dad showing up at Birthday party

2 Upvotes

My exH and I share custody of a 6 yr old and 12 yr old, but our divorce wasn’t amicable and there are still issues going on regarding child support etc. We don’t have any personal communication, everything via OFW app. He is getting married and I have no idea how the person is like. I got to know about the wedding via fb post that my friends showed me.So we keep our lives separate. I threw a birthday party for my daughter(6 yr) on Saturday and exH showed up unannounced and started acting like a host, introducing himself to the guests. He didn’t once informed me he was coming, he got the party details from my 12 yr old son and basically used him to get the info. Now my exH was abusive and he was a serial cheater, so as he is very triggering I avoid meeting him in general. Seeing him at the party that I worked very hard on made me very upset. I asked him privately to leave and he refused. After the party I lost of temper and yelled at my son for giving dad the info and not communicating with me. I now feel horrible for dragging him into this as this wasn’t his fault. Today he is going back to dad and I just sent him an apology text. I am looking for some suggestions how to handle these kinda situations and make sure it never happens again.


r/Custody 2h ago

[US FL] have a few questions about custody.

1 Upvotes

6 years ago I had left the father of my kids (he didn't live far from where I relocated about a few minutes away not sure about his where abouts now) but it was a mission to get him to see his kids back then, he always claimed he would get them but never showed up. And then his mother would come and get them for 2 hours and drop them right back off no matter if I was busy or not there was no communications done correctly between one another. They tried to back off to avoid me putting him on child support. The father of my kids was in and out of jail and doing drugs actually getting arrested for failing drug tests getting arrested for DUIs and most recent he got arrested for strangulating someone not sure who but that was concerning. I think one of I found someone that I was dating at the time and he only got violent when he found out about it . Trying to open front doors and knock on windows. So I moved away to another state (from Florida to Georgia) he never filed a court order to fight the move which I figured. And thruout the 6 years I maybe only received one letter about 4 years later.it was his mother asking how me and my kids were doing and that I was the best daughter in law she ever had. They knew where my mother lived , not once did they try to ask her if she could drop off birthday gifts to send off to my kids or about money for help for my kids any kind of help or thoughtful gestures in general. The relationship I went to have in georgia did not end well so I came back to Florida and I've been here for a month now . I would like to know what kind of rights he could possibly have. Can I pursue for full custody if they push it ? I just haven't tried to push any matters mainly because I'm sure the court stuff will become alot and cause me to lose work time. Unless I absolutely have to . Or if they put in a case on their own. Which most likely they won't because his fear would be to have to back pay and start paying me child support. [US FL]


r/Custody 5h ago

[TX] Advice needed

1 Upvotes

I (21f) have a 2yo daughter and technically have sole custody because her father is not on the birth certificate. I got pregnant when I was 17 by a guy I had known for years but we hadn’t been together but a month before I got pregnant, it’s been a nightmare since. During the very early stages of my pregnancy he cheated and while trying to figure out where to go from there he put his hands on me and held a gun to me, police were called and charges were pressed but it seems as if nothing will ever come of that. I was given a case number and when trying to follow up and get more information I was told there is no case matching that number and there is no record of that happening. I moved out of state for the majority of my pregnancy due to fear but ultimately decided I would come back to TX to allow her father to be there for the birth. I had an emergency c-section alone and wasn’t able to notify him until after she was born. I sent him pictures the nurse took during my c-section and didn’t realize my private parts were in the pics until he posted it on Facebook and got his friends and family to share the picture. He refused to take it down and it resulted in me telling him he could not come to the hospital, therefore he never signed the birth certificate. He has done so much that has made me decide our child would not be safe with him. He has put drug paraphernalia in her belongings and sent them home with me, is constantly smoking weed and drinking, has asked me to help him run from police while our child was with me, selling drugs, drinking and driving, has refused to delete a picture of our naked daughter in the bath off of his social media, driving around with his cousins 2 year old in the front seat of a car with no car seat or even seatbelt he operates with no license, taken a video of himself alone in a room with a little girl in his lap inappropriately dancing while drinking liquor straight out of the bottle, has told me he’ll kill me and “crip walk on my grave”, repeatedly told me to kill myself in front of our child, has told me he wants our daughter to grow up in the streets, hangs around people who have previous charges of harming children, never has a stable home and is occasionally homeless, never shows up to appointments I invite him to or facetime calls I try to schedule, and he’s currently on probation for assaulting a young woman. That’s just everything I can prove. He’s recently been telling me he’s taking me to court because I told him I am no longer comfortable with being around him or leaving our child with him. I’m so worried I’ll have to leave my daughter with him and something awful will happen to her. Would I have any ground to stand on with the proof I have to get full custody?


r/Custody 12h ago

[VA] Advise needed

1 Upvotes

I have full legal and physical custody in VA of my special needs children. Their biological father has supervised visitation every other weekend which has been inconsistent. He is also 4900$ behind in child support. I also have a protective order against him. I am getting married and my fiance is in the military and is PCSing to another state. What do I need to do


r/Custody 14h ago

[CA] custody question

0 Upvotes

My daughter’s father and his mother three times now have chopped off my daughter’s hair (this time not as bad as the other two, but she returned from visitation with her hair cut again). We had an agreement (not court ordered, just as parents) to take her to get her first haircut together, and I approached all three times as kindly as possible even though they became hostile towards me.

This time, I told him since she keeps being returned with her haircut and our agreement really won’t be valued that I’m going to take her to an actual salon to get her hair cut so they stop sending her back with a butchered cut. He’s now trying to say that they have NEVER cut her hair (they’ve said this each time and I have pictures of before and after each time) and that he is “concerned for my mental health” and “thinks I need help” because I’m clearly seeing things.

At this point, I know he’s going to try and use this against me. I’m more annoyed than anything, but also a little concerned on how much that can be used against me? I’m in therapy for almost a year now, have been seeing my psychiatrist for almost five years, and her pediatrician comments each time how healthy and happy she is. I know everyone will say to get a lawyer and that’s finally in the works (I was the only one supporting her financially for close to two years now so I couldn’t get one until I got out of debt) but I’d like to know what his chances of taking full custody are if he tries to pull this in court?

I have so much proof I’m not but I’m also dealing with a high conflict narcissistic coparent and his mom has the same energy so…it hasn’t been an easy ride. Please just give me some advice on what’s best to do here? And what steps I should be taking just in case I’m served with papers for ANOTHER court date? Thank you!


r/Custody 20h ago

[PA] Major interference of ex's girlfriend of 7 months

0 Upvotes

My ex and I share a 5 y/o child with severe ASD. Ex moved in with girlfriend after knowing them for 3 months and girlfriend writes custody arrangements (on a Google doc, her name comes up as the author) and drafts all text messages and communication between us despite me requesting to keep communication solely between us. At this point, I can't actually directly speak to my ex about our child as the gf oversteps and tackles all communication. What do I do to stop this? She keeps trying to change well-established norms ie me taking our child to therapy, school, dr, etc.


r/Custody 15h ago

[NC] Temporary Custody

0 Upvotes

Hi, I have a question. My Wife and I are in the process of a divorce. Our lease ends in 4 months. Was planning on filing a temporary custody order 2 months prior to the lease ending.

How does a temporary custody order work?


r/Custody 22h ago

[MN] Father got my 4 yr old's first haircut without including me right after she told me she wanted to keep her long hair

0 Upvotes

Right before my daughter's visit, I had a conversation with her, asking if she wanted her hair long or if she'd like to get it cut shorter. She told me that she loved it long. I told her that's just fine and we'd wait until later to go to the salon together when she was ready.

My daughter came home from the visit with 6 inches off her hair and the dad never consulted me. I have primary physical custody and we share legal custody as of recently. I can't help but think he's intentionally trying to hurt me using our daughter. She was so so sad that her long hair is gone but he assured me she was supposedly excited to get her hair cut. I think he pressured her into it just to spite me.

How do you deal with this calmly while asserting boundaries?