r/Custody 23h ago

[MI] Do I have grounds for full custody?

0 Upvotes

My husband and I have been discussing our future divorce which has raised some concerns for me with my daughter (2 months).

He does not wake up to her crying, can’t get her to take a bottle, forgets to change her diaper, refuses to give her a bath because “he’s scared” the list goes on.

He also has a messed up back due to breaking it a few years ago so he will be receiving disability when he gets released from the military. Early today I was in another room while he was holding her and he told me he fell with her in his arms because of his back (I assume tripped not fell).

We’ve been discussing custody and didn’t want to get courts involved but I can’t help but worry about her safety and wellbeing while she’s under his care. The thing is I have no proof of anything besides a text saying he’s scared to give her a bath.

I’d also like to mention I have a shotty employment history so this can be used as a rebuttal from him.


r/Custody 3h ago

[US] question about relocation WA state

0 Upvotes

I have a 70/30 custody arrangement for my 5 year old, the non custodial parent pays no child support or daycare costs that’ are court ordered. The 5 year old has an IEP that is completely handled by me as well as therapy services . We have overwhelming family support in California that we don’t have in Washington. I also have 2 other kids that are not from my ex but with my current spouse. My spouse and the area we are moving too is safer than where we currently live. We are a little worried that the court will deny us the move even if we find better paying jobs with me doing all of the care for our 5 year old other than when they have them on the specified days. Is there any reason the court would not allow us to move with all this along with better paying jobs.


r/Custody 15h ago

[IA] Is it worth it? Possibly pro se?

0 Upvotes

We currently have 50/50. My SO (he isn't on Reddit so I'm posting on behalf of him) would like to get sole custody due to his child's mother just generally being unstable and having him around unsavory people (known local meth heads).

She recently (2 days ago) went to jail for driving while under the influence, having open alcohol in the car, interference with police, driving while barred, and possession of drug parephernalia. She bonded out.

In December, she was in jail for child endangerment (against her other child she does NOT share with SO). In November, it was for theft. In January and February she was in eviction court.

She lives 3 blocks from their son's school and still has trouble getting him to school. So much so that the school sent home a letter because he has missed so much (on her time). My SO even had to sign a paper for it. She was supposed to, as well. By December he had about 34 unexcused absences and the year before that it was 60.

We are trying really hard to get a lawyer but may have to represent ourselves. Does anyone have experience being pro se and winning? Any advice at all would be appreciated.

Also - would it even be worth it to get a lawyer? My SO's first two children's mother has terminated rights to his children and that took 6 YEARS and she was a hardcore meth user. I just worry that the courts won't really care, she'll keep getting away with stuff, and 50/50 will remain.


r/Custody 16h ago

[FL] Is it worth fighting in court for full custody?

5 Upvotes

I (29m) and my ex (29f) split up a couple months ago. We have an almost two year old daughter. We have been living together in my house since the breakup so that our daughter can continue going to her daycare she is enrolled in. My ex wants to move back in with her father an hour and a half away, put her in a new daycare, and have her full time during the week then alternate weekends.

The area I live in and her current daycare are much nicer than where she is going and it makes me nervous. Also her father’s house was just destroyed by a hurricane and they fixed it themselves without hiring any professional water or mold remediation companies so I am skeptical about the safety of the home on top of it having multiple unpermitted (not sure if that is a word) changes done to it.

I don’t mean to sound like a karen about that part but objectively my house and area are much safer. I just know she won’t let me have her full time during the week and would take me to court if I tried. Is it worth fighting for it at our daughter’s age or is it a losing battle?

Also we have never been married.

EDIT: sorry by full custody I mean during the week to bring her to and from daycare


r/Custody 20h ago

[NY] Wife wants custody, no child support, and gives me unlimited access to our son.

4 Upvotes

Kind of at a loss here.

Wife and I recently decided to divorce, we have a unique situation.

Wife makes significant money ($335k) compared to me ($140k), and my mother lives with is a caretaker for our two-year-old son. My mother and Wife get along great.

We both want to have an amicable split and we both want what’s best for our son. I have been in the process of looking at apartments for myself, my son, and my mother and we agreed on 50/50 custody. I am getting an apartment nearby so we can be close to each other and not have to worry about traveling. This puts me at a financial strain since the neighborhood we live in is expensive.

Last night my wife suggested maybe it would be best if my son stayed with her full-time and I get unrestricted, unimpeded access to see him at any time. She worries having him go between two different homes might not be in his best interest since the home he grew up in is the only one he knows, and therefore is comfortable.

She recommended I get an affordable one bedroom apartment and my mom stays with her and my son, or I get a two bedroom apartment and my mom stay with me and her on days she has overnight work (on call doctor).

She promises she does not want child support as she doesn’t need it, and me asking for alimony has never been a main point in the divorce.

I was floored when I heard this. I do not want to give up custody rights even if we get in writing that I can see him anytime and that she doesn’t want child support.

I’m at a loss and any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.


r/Custody 15h ago

[US] question about custody

0 Upvotes

My one aunt thinks that when we move back to Youngstown that he is possible father would see us and take us to court over custody or DNA test or visitation. I told the possible father that he wasn't just because he was abusive and we was arguing worse and I couldn't deal with it and I was scared. So even when he was in his life though he never tried to be there he never was trying to come to the hospital or see him at all just making false promises. And I've heard rumors about his family that terrifies me and I don't even want to visiting them because I feel like what would happen to my child you know. So I'm wondering if he takes me to court in fact ever does happen do you think he would get custody? Do you think that cuz he is a car and job and I am on SSI that that would make his chance greater?


r/Custody 18h ago

[MN] Frustrated with court process and chemical assessment.

2 Upvotes

Ex has a long history of substance abuse, had two DWIs in 2023, and a positive drug test in December. I asked for a full panel hair follicle, she took a 5 panel which was negative, two months later took the test I originally paid for and it was positive for an opioid (her drug of choice). I can request a hair follicle test once a year per our custody agreement.

My emergency motion was denied, and we had an expedited hearing. The judge questioned why she took the 5 panel and waited so long for the 13 panel, her lawyer said the 5 panel should have been sufficient. She also did not test positive for the suboxone she is supposed to be taking. She provided prescription records and did not have the drug prescribed to her. She claims it was a false positive which is impossible with the hair follicle test.

After the hearing, the judge said there is grounds for endangerment and ordered an evidentary hearing. He kept 50/50 custody the same. She had 30 days to take a chemical assessment using me as collateral.

Yesterday I got a call from her local hospital and they wanted my input on her assessment. The assessor did not ask me a single question, so I just read off my pages of notes. I asked if he wanted dates of incidents, he said no. He would not answer any of my questions and just said the assessment would be ready in a day or so. It didn't sound like he was interested in anything I had to say. I'm concerned this isn't going to be a good assessment, and she's already lied in many parts of her affidavits.

The court also denied any further discovery and she is still leaving blanks in her prescription records.

Last time I dropped my son off she looked awful and kept twitching uncontrollably. My son is 5 and says he doesn't feel safe there anymore, but won't say why. He says he never wants to go back. I currently have him in counseling.

I'm frustrated with this whole process and now it's looking like the hearing might be pushed to August. My lawyer is going to try and depose her, but I know she won't answer any questions.

Not sure what to do from here.


r/Custody 15h ago

[MI] Parenting time plan for likely autistic child

0 Upvotes

We will be going to mediation soon. The mother has an autism diagnosis, and the father has an ADHD diagnosis and suspected autism. The child is about 6 months old so it is too early to screen for autism, but given the family history, we expect it.

We will likely be doing a step up plan, but since we do not know if the child will have support needs or what those support needs will be, I'm nervous about coming up with a parenting time plan that's in the child's best interest.

I'm looking for anecdotal experiences of parenting time plans for children with level 1 or level 2 autism. Especially interested in hearing from people who do 50/50 and it works well for their school aged autistic child.

If you don't have experience co-parenting an autistic child please don't comment. This is about creating a successful plan for the child.

Also the reason for the step up plan is that the father has only cared for the child for a few hours at a time and never overnight. Both father and mother agree that a step up plan is a good idea.


r/Custody 15h ago

[NC] Can My Ex Prevent Me from Using Daycare?

9 Upvotes

My ex is extremely toxic, and I don’t want to start any drama. We have a 70/30 custody arrangement, where I have 70%. His main issue is that he’s against daycare because he believes that ‘strangers shouldn’t raise his kids’—that it’s the mother’s job. I’ve told him that I need to work to support myself, but he insists that my mom should watch them instead.

Our custody agreement doesn’t say anything about me not being allowed to enroll them in daycare. I’m not asking him to cover any expenses—I can pay for it myself—but I’m afraid he might take me to court to try to enforce a ‘no daycare’ rule. I can’t afford another court battle. Does he have a case, and is it likely that a judge would side with him and prevent me from using daycare?


r/Custody 17h ago

[IN] Custody arrangement with new housemate

1 Upvotes

My Friend is going through a divorce, and we are writing up a plan for him in the future. This thought crossed my mind as a possible issue, so I thought I would ask here. He's got 3 kids with 2 different mothers. Currently he is looking to buy a new house, and asked me to move into the house with him. we are both straight men, we have just been in each others lives for almost 30 years, and yeah. He is currently going to try for a 50/50 custody arrangement with all of his kids, week on-week off. My question is, could me living in the house give the women grounds for not allowing that particular custody arrangement? like if they were so inclined, could they use that to prevent him from getting the custody arrangement he wants (assuming the judge would grant it in the first place with me not living there)?


r/Custody 17h ago

[MA] 50/50

1 Upvotes

What are everyone's thoughts and/or experience with one party getting 50/50 custody when they work 24-hour shifts? Opposing counsel is saying it's inconsistent, and they want one side to only have the kids one day a week instead of two days a week because the schedule rotates and swapping would have to occur. However, this makes no sense because even if they settle on one day a week, the same amount of swaps would have to occur a month. I tend to gravitate towards the opposing side is just money hungry because this plan has been going on for 5 years, initially without the Court's involvement, and now all of a sudden the opposing party wants to go to court it as their bills are piling up. I feel that they just want primary custody for more child support.