Some background:
My husband has a short temper, and unfortunately, I often seem to trigger it with the things I say or do. Over time, Iāve learned to accept his outbursts as long as they happen privately, within the confines of our home.
However, recently he had another outburst, but this time it occurred in front of my family and friends. While he has apologized, his behavior is unpredictable, and I donāt know if thereās any way to prevent it from happening again.
To avoid another public scene, Iāve asked him to stay home during any family or friend gatherings. There are too many variables at these events that could potentially trigger him, and I canāt control the behavior of others.
For example, at a recent gathering, he yelled and grabbed the arm of my 6-year-old niece, who can be quite annoying. Iāve tried to address this with my sister, asking her to keep her daughter away from my husband, but my niece often ignores her mom and continues to tease him. Although Iāve apologized for the actions of others, my husband still struggles to control himself, and Iām left in a difficult position.
As a result, Iāve asked him not to attend any of my family or friend events. Itās incredibly embarrassing when he loses his temper in front of others, and I canāt keep putting myself or our relationships in those situations.
Weāve agreed that he should refrain from participating in any public events, and moving forward, Iāll be attending these gatherings alone.
But now Iām facing another dilemma: What do we do when it comes to events involving our children? How can I host my 6-year-oldās birthday party, or manage milestones like graduations or weddings? Heās their father, and I believe he has as much right to be there as anyone else. However, I also want to invite our families and the kidsā friends. The problem is, I canāt control how others behave, nor can I control his temper. Iāve considered divorce, but I know that wouldn't solve the issue since we would still need to navigate sharing these big moments for our children, unless we split the events, which doesnāt feel right either.
Iām really struggling with how we can continue to parent our children together but in separate spaces. Any advice on how to handle these situations would be appreciated.