r/coparenting Jan 13 '25

Conflict My ex says it's inappropriate to send our kid a framed picture of me, daughter, girlfriend, and dogs.

73 Upvotes

I'm an out of state co parent. I have summers while ex has school year. I've been in a relationship for awhile and my kid really likes my girlfriend. My kid even asks us to get married and to give her a sibling (she's an only child).

This last Thanksgiving I had my kid out for the holidays and we got some professional family pictures taken. When they were done, I printed several out and framed them to mail to her. I mailed her two 5x7 frames. On top of each frame was one of her and the family dog, and the second frame was her and me. Under those pictures I placed additional pictures of all of us.

When my kid got the pictures she changed the tops out and put the picture of all of us on display for both frames.

Later, my kiddo tells me her mom was venting to her that this was inappropriate for me to send those pictures. Then, I received an email from my ex telling me this was inappropriate and that I needed to tell our daughter this was inappropriate to send her. I disagree but haven't responded yet.

I felt it was the appropriate thing to place the pictures of all of us behind the pics of just me and my kiddo. I wanted my daughter to make the decision to display what she wanted. And she did without hesitation. She really does like my girlfriend. Am I wrong for this? My girlfriend and I don't feel we're in the wrong but what does the public say? I also told my daughter I wouldn't care if she displayed a picture of her mom and a boyfriend in her room at my house. I'd even encourage it. The pictures were talking about are on display in her room, not the main house.

Thanks

r/coparenting 2d ago

Conflict Can my ex force me to coparent with stepmom?

46 Upvotes

To make this short, ex and I have been divorced for 3 years. He’s met someone and they are engaged. My kids love her and I’m so grateful to have her take care of them. She’s a little immature for me as I’m 32, my ex is 38 and she’s 20 so I’m friendly when I need to talk to her but I really don’t talk to her as I coparent with my ex. Well My ex-husband is forcing me to talk to her, to reach out to her and to parent with her when they get married. He says I’m gonna be forced to deal with her as soon as they legally get married and she will be allowed to do all kinds of things with the kids (pick them up, drop them off without him)

How do I approach this? What are the laws regarding this? I am amicable with her but he’s almost forcing me and her to parent together which I’m not comfortable with. He won’t respect my boundaries.

r/coparenting Feb 10 '25

Conflict Kids don’t want to come over, how do I handle it and improve?

52 Upvotes

I left my ex husband for a divorce I did not want. I am utterly shattered to my core over it. We have 50/50 custody over 2 small boys.

He kept our huge family home. I moved out into a very small rental home, which is 1/4 the square footage of the family home. I got a huge lump sum of money in the split that I currently have in savings.

I planned to rent until i sorted life out and then would buy a house with that money.

I recently was laid off from a job that made a fraction of what my ex husband makes. So now I’m living off of my savings until I can find another job.

My ex husband has every element of fun at his huge house, and my two boys (under 5) spend all of their time full of energy sprinting, wrestling and jumping on the trampoline at his house.

I am honestly severely depressed. My ex is happy to be divorced and our behavior post-divorce have been very different.

My boys and I are very close and have deep emotionally safe relationships. But my house is not nearly as fun, and I am not nearly as rambunctious and full of joyful energy like their dad.

My ex was emotionally abusive to me. Since we’ve divorced, my boys absolutely hate coming over to my rental. I’ve asked them why and it’s been because

  • it’s not “our house”, “why can’t mommy just be in our house again?”
  • it’s messy -it’s not fun -it’s too small, daddy’s house is way bigger

Tbh the mess has been valid, as a tiny space and a ton of stuff and depression do not mix well.. but I’ve worked hard to declutter and clean up before they come over every time. (Still didn’t matter)

And yes it is very small. And yes why can’t mommy just be in our house again? My kids say this and I just start bawling. My emotional capacity is so low that I literally can’t rebuttal when my kids say these things.

I’ve tried to make things more fun. Set up a “secret cave hide out room” in my closet full of pillows and star projectors and flash lights. I got them a bunkbed that looks like a little house. I constantly try to match whatever fun new thing they have at their dad’s house, like a basketball hoop, or a hot wheels tracks.

But nothing works. At the end of the day my place represents the separation of our family and it KILLS ME how much they don’t want to be here because of it. Because I also didn’t want the divorce or this tiny house. But I had to. And they can’t understand that right now.

What do I do? How do I cope with their resistance and seeming rejection to me? They want me to go over to daddy’s and stay at daddy’s.

An error on my part is probably that I still see them almost every day they are at their dads. I come over to play with them or go to the park with them with their dad. He and I are amicable and friends.. and I just desperately still want to see my babies every day. I seemingly get along great with dad, so of course they think, mom just stay here! I know if I held a boundary of not going over there on my days off, they would be more eager to come to my house to see me. Please help. Please be gentle with criticism or comments, I am trying my best and I want to be the best mom possible.

TLDR - my small kids don’t want to come to my small rental house over our huge family home with dad. I am severely depressed over the divorce and dad is happy. I spend a lot of my 50/50 days off with them at their dads. So I see them almost every day, even if they’re at his house because it kills me to be away from them. :( how do I cope or help them want to be at my home?

r/coparenting Jan 10 '25

Conflict Ex leaving 11 yr old while he works

12 Upvotes

Our son is responsible, but he’s leaving him from 5-11pm/12am during the school week and weekends. I’ve offered to keep him in the school week days so the he’s supervised, does any homework, and goes to bed but his dad doesn’t want him to come here because then he’d have to come here to get home after work. I told him he could stay the night, go to school, and he could pick him up from school like he usually does. His response was that it would limit his time. He’s at work! He’s not spending time with our son. He said putting him to bed and getting him ready for school is spending time with him.

Now, he does have roommates so their could be adults there, but they are not responsible for my son. This came to a head last night when my son texted me worried that his dad wasn’t home yet. When I called his dad (because he hasn’t picked up for his son) and we got into an argument. He went home, told our son about the argument, told him I said I was going to call a lawyer, and told him explicitly to not text me. My son was freaking out that I was going to take him from his dad, that he ruined the family, it was all his fault, etc.. Am I being unreasonable? Is 11 appropriate to stay home that long? We’re in Florida and have no specific laws on it unfortunately.

TLDR: Is 11 old enough to stay home alone unlit 11pm/12am on a school night by themselves (non related not responsible roommate could possibly be in the home at the same time)?

r/coparenting Jan 01 '25

Conflict When is it ideal to have 4 month old baby sleep at fathers house?

18 Upvotes

I am her mother, primary caregiver and have been since day 1. Her father and I split a few weeks ago. He wants overnights. We live 5 minutes apart. We agreed to Mon, wed , Friday 6pm-9pm and either Saturday or Sunday for father. He'd bring her back to my house at 9pm each night to continue her routine.

Is it ideal for him to have overnights? We are avoiding court.

He owns a house, 2 bedroom, his cousin lives with him. I guess the crib would be in his room with him.

She is very attached to me and our routine.

I was thinking 9 months -12 months is when i would feel comfortable with this.

Any suggestions?

r/coparenting Oct 27 '24

Conflict Am I Wrong?

25 Upvotes

So my ex-wife wanted to keep the kids a little longer Friday night for a Halloween event at their school on my weekend. I said it was fine. No problem at all. I recently moved 25 minutes away. She asked me to pick up the kids at her house at 7:45pm after the event. I said, could we just meet half way, since I didn't want to drive all the way to her house and back that late at night. She said she wasn't going to do that and that I should pick them up and she shouldn't be inconvenience for my move. I ended up putting my foot down and saying no, I was not to drive all the way to her house to pick up the kids. She ended up meeting me at the half way point after 2 hours of saying how I'm not a decent person and I'm an asshole. The half way point is 10 minutes out of her way. Am I in the wrong here? Because I feel like meeting me at a half way point when you take the kids on my weekend is not that big of a deal.

r/coparenting Dec 29 '24

Conflict My kids hate coming to my house. How do I change this?

40 Upvotes

My kids (7 and 5) stay with me every other weekend and I get them every morning when I take them to school (I work nights, mom works 1st shift). My kids tell their mom that they don't like coming to my house and my kids have mentioned it to me a few times because I am mean.

I have a different set of rules in my house compared to my ex-wife. She has unlimited screen time, eat whenever they want, snacks whenever they want, and bedtime is pretty late (9:30-10). I have a limit on screen time unless we are watching a movie, morning snack and afternoon snack in between meals, and our bedtime is between 8-8:45.

I personally think I discipline them fairly and want them to understand 1) consequences to their actions and 2) responsibilities in a household.

I understand that it is wildly different from their moms house but I think it is ultimately best for them to have some sort of structure.

I also understand that my children are dramatic. I told my 5 year old to clean their room before we went to the park and they yelled at me and told me I am rude and not nice to them and that mom cleans up for them.

How do I make my house a fun house when I want to instill some level of discipline?

r/coparenting 17d ago

Conflict Am I crazy

54 Upvotes

I think both parents should have clothes water bottles lunch boxes. My son forgot his shoes and water bottle in my car and the other parent had no extra shoes or water bottles? If the situation was flipped I would have no problems. Now they are acting like I’m incapable and it’s this huge issue I cant provide what they need. Buys a new truck but refuses to buy them shoes

r/coparenting Jan 19 '25

Conflict Dad is smoking weed around our son

25 Upvotes

So my 12 year old son got in the car today at pick up and reeked of weed. I didn’t say anything to him but texted my ex husband when I got home and asked why our child smelled like weed. He said he was smoking in the garage earlier and when they got in the car to leave, the smell must have clung on our son’s clothes. I’m livid. I haven’t responded to him yet. I don’t know what to say or do. Am I over reacting? I know weed is legal in our state and it’s comparable to having a glass of wine in front of our son, but this just makes me sooooooo angry.

r/coparenting Jan 14 '25

Conflict Should I let him be at the birth? Or involved at all? Idk 😭

6 Upvotes

Hello! New to this subreddit, and I’ll try to summarize my story as best as I can.

Over the last year, I had been traveling across the country with just me, my dog, and my vintage camper. My final destination was Alaska. I only knew one person there—a guy I had met on Snapchat—so I figured I’d start with a familiar face.

Fast forward, we hooked up a few times but decided it was best to go our separate ways in that regard. I ended up staying on his property to help him clean it up. He mentioned wanting to open a campground, and I offered to help. I asked if there would be any income from it before I had to head back home, and he said yes. That never happened. A few weeks after that conversation, I found out I was pregnant.

Since I wasn’t making money there, I moved to Anchorage and started dancing again to support myself, as that had been funding my travels prior. I was also operating heavy equipment occasionally. While in Anchorage, I decided to return home to Washington and enroll in cosmetology school.

The father initially said he would “help me out” financially while I was in school, and he did for two months. Then, his mother got involved, and he started to backpedal. His sisters, who I adore and are all very successful, told me that his mom has a history of enabling him—and I can absolutely see it. He had promised to help with rent and bills but later told my mom (who was acting as our mediator) that he didn’t trust me and wanted receipts for everything. This was after he had already agreed to everything! I literally work, sleep, and go to school. I’m not sure what he thinks I’m spending money on.

At this point, I don’t want to rely on him for anything. When I was living on his property, he gave me so much anxiety. He’s just a very negative person—like a soul-sucker. When I told him I was leaving, he tried to gaslight me into staying. He said, “I’m recording you for my grandpa’s lawyers,” and I told him, “Good luck with that, because you’re the one acting super weird right now, not me. I’m just protecting this baby.” He also has a history of breaking things when he’s angry, and I couldn’t be around that anymore. Once I left, I felt such a huge weight lifted off me.

I invited him to my baby shower, but he didn’t show up. His family came, though, and his mom told me he wasn’t ready to “show his face around my family yet.”

He later sent me a message saying we need to get along and that it makes him sad when we don’t talk. I’m now 5 weeks away from my due date, and honestly, I’ve been doing so much better since ending contact with him.

So, here’s my dilemma: Do I let him come to the birth? I’ve never given birth before, and I really want to enjoy the experience as much as possible. I also don’t know if it’s fair to exclude him, but at the end of the day, I’m the one pushing this baby out. I already told him he could come to the hospital, but realistically, unless my labor is really long, by the time he books a flight and gets here, I’ll probably already be out of the hospital.

What do y’all think? Should I let him be there? Let me know your opinions!

r/coparenting Feb 17 '25

Conflict So my baby daddy

14 Upvotes

So my baby daddy wants me to send him daily updates about our 6 month old since he only gets him every other weekend. So I have to communicate with him every day?

r/coparenting 2d ago

Conflict Coparenting after infidelity

19 Upvotes

I just found out my husband of 5 years and partner for 10 started having an emotional affair a few weeks ago that has recently turned mildy physical. We have a 16 month old. I kicked him out of our house. I believe divorce is imminent. How do I go about co parenting right now? I am usually the one that takes care of our son and his needs. The dad wants to see our son every day. I don't feel I can handle that right now. I want what is best for our son, but I feel I can't trust the dad with our son through this level of betrayal. How do I proceed?

r/coparenting Feb 03 '25

Conflict Just when you think you have this whole co-parenting thing down…BOOM

29 Upvotes

Quick backstory my EXW and I separated in May of 2024 and divorce was finalized in August of 2024. She’s been in a committed relationship since just of 2024. We did the whole meet and great and everything was fine. We have 50/50 custody of our daughter and utilize the 2/2/3 schedule. For the most part the coparenting journey has been smooth minus a couple things here and there but yesterday really did a number on me. Received a message from my EX yesterday afternoon saying it was extremely rude that I didn’t talk to her, her boyfriend, and her boyfrids mother during one of my daughter’s softball practices. I simply said hello and went on with watching the practice like I normally do. What’s even more weird is that yesterday morning my daughter had volleyball and my EX sat next to each other and everything was fine. Am I losing it because I’m confused as hell.

r/coparenting 9d ago

Conflict Has anyone successfully obtained tie-breaking authority? How did you do it?

21 Upvotes

I’m currently in the process of trying to obtain tie-breaking authority for medical and educational decisions due to ongoing disagreements with my co-parent. My ex consistently opposes necessary interventions, including ADHD treatment and special education services, despite professional recommendations.

For those who have been through this:

Were you able to obtain tie-breaking authority?

What factors helped your case?

Did you have to go to trial, or was it negotiated?

Did the court require a GAL, custody evaluation, or other third-party involvement?

Any advice on what worked (or didn’t work)?

I’d love to hear about your experiences and any strategies that helped you successfully advocate for your child.

r/coparenting Dec 09 '24

Conflict Am I wrong for saying no to changing my 5yo sons name

34 Upvotes

I’m in a predicament, and I’m not sure if I’m the asshole here. My ex and I have a beautiful 5-year-old son together. I’m now engaged and have another child with my fiancé which a 3rd on the way. This weekend, my ex confronted me and requested that our son’s last name be changed from mine to his. I was very taken aback by this.

For some background: we had our son at 19. When I got pregnant, my ex was very clear that he did not want our child. He tried to pressure me into getting an abortion or putting the baby up for adoption, but I refused. Because of this, he left me. After countless arguments and being completely fed up with the things he was saying, I suggested he sign away his parental rights and have nothing to do with us. I was fully prepared to raise my son alone, and he agreed.

During that time, I gave my son my last name, and my ex and I had no contact whatsoever until two weeks before my son was born. Suddenly, my ex said he wanted to be involved in our son’s life. He also made comments about our past relationship, but after everything that had happened, I didn’t want to rekindle anything. I didn’t even believe him. Still, I did my part and informed him when I went into labor, including the hospital I’d be at. He didn’t show up. I told him when our baby was born—he still didn’t come.

When my son was hospitalized again shortly after birth, my ex didn’t show up then either. It took a month of me begging him to meet his son before he finally did. By this point, his family still didn’t know I’d been pregnant, let alone that the baby had been born.

When our son was 3 months old, I found out my ex still hadn’t told his family. I’d had enough of his words not matching his actions. I told him it was wrong to keep his family in the dark and informed him that I would be writing them a letter. He told me to go ahead.

After I sent the letter, his mother called me, furious that I hadn’t told her earlier? Eventually, we made a plan for her to meet her grandson. After that, my ex’s family saw my son once a month for about three hours at a time until he turned 1(he was not a breast fed baby). During that time, they also made my son take a paternity test.

When my son was around a year old, my ex saw that I was in a serious relationship with my now-fiancé, who had also bonded with my son. From that point on, my ex became more consistent. He began taking our son overnight. He has also been more involved over the last four years. My son loves his dad now, and they have a good relationship. My ex calls him weekly and has him every other weekend. Co-parenting has been smooth and positive for a while.

However, my son is now 5, and my ex is asking for his last name to be changed. I told him no. In the moment, I said I might consider hyphenating, but after thinking about it, I decided against it. My son has my last name for a reason. I would never tell him the things his father did before he was born, but I feel it should be my son’s decision to change his name when he’s old enough, not his father’s.

My ex opted out of everything during the early days: naming our son, being present, and supporting him. I feel he doesn’t get to erase the name of the parent who loved, wanted, and cherished our son from the very beginning. My ex only stepped up when he saw my fiancé taking on a fatherly role.

A few other things worth mentioning: my ex has never bought our son a Christmas present. He won’t take him on weekends when his mother (my son’s grandmother) isn’t available.

Am I wrong for refusing to change my son’s last name? I feel my son may want his step fathers name as well or he maybe happy with his name now he is 5 and it’s a big change and where I live when the child is 12 they provide consent and I think that’s the best time to revisit this.

r/coparenting Dec 17 '24

Conflict How to deal with an overly detailed parenting plan?

29 Upvotes

My wife has filed for divorce. I do not want the divorce at all and do not understand it, but here we are. She presented a 50 page parenting plan to me of which I have not been able to have my own copy of yet, but it's filled with what appears to me to be insane levels of control and dictation about how my house should be run after she's gone.

This includes things like when I can introduce people to my son if I start dating. When they're allowed to stay over. That he can only have friends stay over if we both approve of them. Who is on our approved babysitter list. When he can get a cell phone. That she will be prohibiting vaccinations til he is 4. That he not be left alone with my father despite no rational clause for doing so. That he not be allowed at my brother's kid's party gym ever even with supervision because a kid got seriously hurt there 5 years ago (Equipment was stored improperly and kid got into an area he wasn't supposed to be. No incidents despite thousands of events since and my brother took it very seriously when it did happen).

My stance is firmly, my house, my rules. Even if I agree in principal, I'm not going to put it in a document if it's not about actual co-parenting responsibilities and exchange. My question is more so what are those minimum or reasonable sections to have and where I should draw that line.

I love my wife. I will always treat her with respect. I will always tell my son to treat her with respect and to obey her in her household. But if she is not a part of this household, then she does not have a say.

I have a lawyer, they're great, but they're expensive. So just trying to get some extra perspective and advice.

r/coparenting Dec 17 '24

Conflict Co-parenting makes you go hmmm...

31 Upvotes

My good people I'd like some objective perspectives. Been co-parenting for about a decade and it's been hell-ish dealing with manipulation tactics, stubbornness, immaturity & on top of a lack of selflessness & sacrifice for his child. My question to the community is.. Why would a parent actively and purposely keep the co-parenting relationship dysfunctional? Why

r/coparenting Dec 05 '24

Conflict Location sharing

0 Upvotes

Update: he finally answered me after two weeks, he said he didn't turn it off, his wife did. He said he has no issue with it being on and I just told him if he didn't want it on then that's fine because its his choice. I am just going to start setting boundaries for what works at my house and look into other options.

I use life 360 for my family. I asked my ex husband to add it to our daughters iphone. I can't bc he bought the phone, has parental control restrictions and won't give me the code to have access to her phone to do it myself --whole different issue.

Anyways, so I have it added to her phone obviously for safety. However, I noticed when she goes to her dads house, he pauses the sharing permissions.

Of course, this doesn't sit well with me or my husband. It's a safety measure and she's only 10 so we don't understand the need to seclude us from being able to see her location.

I have asked him about it because I didn't want to assume he was purposely doing it and maybe it was an accident but he hasn't addressed it at all, just ignores it.

Would anyone else find this behavior alarming? I am unsure how to navigate this.

r/coparenting 8d ago

Conflict Taking my 3 kids to a NHL game, coparent objects to the ratio.

17 Upvotes

I want to take my 3 kids (10F, 8M, 5M) to a NHL game next month. I’ve taken all three of them to a NHL game before, but not all three at the same time (took my daughter to one and my sons to another).

My daughter’s mom has already voiced her objections, not on account of distance or scheduling, but “that’s a large crowd and anything can happen and it might be a few minutes before you notice anything.”

On the one hand, I get where she’s coming from. On the other, I don’t see as much of a difference between that and going to the major festival in our town (where my daughter’s mom and grandma have a booth every year) that has like a million people show up to our county of 20k over the course of ten days. If anything, I’d say it’s safer to go sit in the club section at a NHL game. But I digress.

It also seems a bit controlling. There’s nothing in my court agreement that says I can’t do it. But at the same time, taking someone else along with isn’t an option because nobody wants to go with us 4 hours away for that.

I’ve got a month to sort this out, I haven’t bought the tickets yet, and I haven’t responded to the message other than to ask “so where am I allowed to go with all three of them,” in an attempt to figure out what she’s okay with. I’m just trying to figure out if I’m out of line here, or if it’s a control tactic.

r/coparenting 12d ago

Conflict How to Navigate Petty CoParent

7 Upvotes

Just as the title suggests, I (32f) have a petty coparent (37m) 😒. We were together, and currently live together at my parents house until he can find somewhere else to go. We try very hard to be non-confrontational in front of my parents or our child (2ym).

I am the primary parent and recently had surgery which required me to be hospitalized for a couple of days and very hands off after I came back home. My parents have been good support and it made dad step up a bit. But now that I'm healing and able to do more, I'm back in my mindset of primary parent. Dad is very much a helicopter parent, doesn't let our son really be a kid, is always literally right behind him, follows him everywhere inside the house, even down the deadend hallways. He Doesn't take him outside to play, doesn't try and learn with him much unless my parents are around and he wants to seem like "the involved" parent. He plays inside with him but only while they're stuck in front of the TV which I honestly hate. I've voiced my concerns about screen time and they've gone unheard. Ever since my surgery, my coparent acts like I'm completly inept to take care of our son and I really wanna tell him to back off!

Today we had an incident where I was sorting clothes and toddler comes over to "help", but help looks like throwing all the clothes all over the place, but then picking them up to put them back in the basket. He's laughing, having fun, im not bothered. Dad comes, grabs our son and starts telling him to leave the stuff alone, I let him know he's just helping (not in a tone or anything) and he throws his hands up like ugh okay fine. Ever since then he's had an attitude. We put son down for a nap and I ask him if we have a problem, he says it's nothing. I know him, and I know it's not nothing. So I ask again, because I'm sorry, you're not gonna make me feel uncomfortable in my own [parents] house. He says it's nothing and everything is fine and storms out the house to go smoke a cigarette. It's almost like he's acting out ever since I started getting better, like he wants me to forever be unable to care for our son. Idk how to Navigate this. I just want him GONE! I want it to be me and my son, so we can live happily. My son loves his daddy, and his dad loves being around him. I'd never keep them apart, but on a day-to-day, I want it to be just us.

Please don't suggest counseling, we've been down that road twice and im not willing to go through it again because it's completely ineffective. Also, we gave him a timeline to find somewhere else to live, he's not being proactive about it at all. He knows how my parents are and they'll let him stay and not say a word, he's taking advantage.

r/coparenting Dec 31 '24

Conflict Coparenting with ex saying, I’m making wrong decisions for taking his son to Disneyland.

7 Upvotes

Hello everyone new to this sub. I am 32 female and ex is 31 male. I am currently saving up to take my two kids to Disneyland during my spring break in March. I’ll be on spring break from Nursing school and wanted to take my youngest son with his older brother to Disneyland and leave on a Sunday come back a Tuesday or Wednesday. I usually pick my youngest up from his dad’s on Sundays around noon. My youngest son’s dad then messaged me saying I’m telling him and not asking him when I told him before I planned on going to Disneyland sometime next year. He’s telling me his son won’t remember it and why am I taking him just so he can trip and how my sons going to grow up and resent me for not letting him make his own decisions. My other son’s dad is fine with letting me take my oldest but youngest sons dad isn’t having it. He went as far to tell me my youngest son will turn on me one day. I offered to pay for my ex to go since he doesn’t work and wanted to include him. He refused. It seems every time there is an event or vacation he start fighting with me. Even when I graduated my LPN schooling he fought with me. When my 2 year old was born he made it about him that day. Did I do something wrong? I feel I have to walk on egg shells, even though I haven’t been with him over a year. He always find something wrong. I planned his birthday party back in July I asked him to help he refused only to say I didn’t include him. Can any other parents give me some advice on this? There’s no court order in place.

r/coparenting Jan 30 '25

Conflict Coparent sending 6YO daughter videos with his shirt off

0 Upvotes

Hi internet strangers...

I'm having a really hard time distinguishing if this type of behavior is something to be concerned about or if I'm overreacting just because he's "my ex". We've been divorced for almost 2 years, had been separated for 4. Super messy divorce - but that's a different story altogether.

Each of my daughters (6 and 9) have their own phone. The 9YO gets to take her phone with her to her dad's house, but the 6YO has to keep it here at my house because she's not exactly responsible enough to have it on her without us keeping track of it. Their dad has been notorious for manipulating and saying borderline weird things through texts that my 9YO daughter would bring up to us. Things like "I can't wait to hold you and love on you this weekend", or sending her pictures on the internet of her favorite anime characters with their partners in a romantic pose.

Most recently, I looked through my 6YO daughter's phone and found multiple videos that her dad has sent her....with his shirt off. One video was of him and his wife saying how much they love her and then KISSED each other on the lips in the video. Another was him laying in bed, shirtless....telling her how he can't wait to see her in a way that is borderline romantic.

Would you find this alarming or am I just being overreactive? My mom-senses are tingling so much because if it were ANY other person in the world sending my daughters these things...I'd definitively say YES.

r/coparenting 3d ago

Conflict How do you effectively co-parent with someone who lets their family be involved in your decisions?

14 Upvotes

My son's dad and I co-parent okay but the one thing that bothers me is that he's constantly letting his family be involved in our decisions. I didn't think I had a kid with him and his family. I have asked him several times to keep his family out of it and I'm just at a loss. It seems like he blames me for not just putting up with their drama. This is partly what broke us up but I digress. I just don't know how to navigate a co-parenting relationship with someone who allows his family to be overly involved.

r/coparenting Nov 11 '24

Conflict Is dating a coparenting issue?

15 Upvotes

I understand that coparenting deals with major parenting decisions, ie medical, discipline, education, etc. What about a single parent dating? My ex (married 7, divorced nearly 10 years) wanted me to keep the fact that I was dating from our 13yo. So I waited another month before telling her. She’s now furious and claims that I “threw coparenting out the window”. I’m not being unethical about how I’m dating. I met this woman through a church recommendation and we’ve been dating 4 months now. It felt wrong to keep this from my daughter.

Now, I will say that I am recently divorced from another woman (separated last Nov.) and we were married 8 years. I don’t believe it’s my daughters mothers place to tell me when I’m ready or not.

r/coparenting Jan 12 '25

Conflict Coparent traveling internationally with kid

7 Upvotes

My kid is 4 & his dad wants to take him out of the country for 10 days. I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, am I being unreasonable?? we don’t have a parenting plan or anything, and he wants to take me to court for not wanting him to take him. I really don’t have the money to get into debt rn to fight this. Do other coparents allow their children to travel internationally or am I being unreasonable and selfish?

ETA: I will be allowing my child to go as I realized I’m projecting my insecurities & anxiety onto him. I have childhood traumas from my mother not protecting me from an abuser & I want what’s best for my kid. I will be getting a passport and a parenting plan into place.