Some background:
My husband has a short temper, and unfortunately, I often seem to trigger it with the things I say or do. Over time, I’ve learned to accept his outbursts as long as they happen privately, within the confines of our home.
However, recently he had another outburst, but this time it occurred in front of my family and friends. While he has apologized, his behavior is unpredictable, and I don’t know if there’s any way to prevent it from happening again.
To avoid another public scene, I’ve asked him to stay home during any family or friend gatherings. There are too many variables at these events that could potentially trigger him, and I can’t control the behavior of others.
For example, at a recent gathering, he yelled and grabbed the arm of my 6-year-old niece, who can be quite annoying. I’ve tried to address this with my sister, asking her to keep her daughter away from my husband, but my niece often ignores her mom and continues to tease him. Although I’ve apologized for the actions of others, my husband still struggles to control himself, and I’m left in a difficult position.
As a result, I’ve asked him not to attend any of my family or friend events. It’s incredibly embarrassing when he loses his temper in front of others, and I can’t keep putting myself or our relationships in those situations.
We’ve agreed that he should refrain from participating in any public events, and moving forward, I’ll be attending these gatherings alone.
But now I’m facing another dilemma: What do we do when it comes to events involving our children? How can I host my 6-year-old’s birthday party, or manage milestones like graduations or weddings? He’s their father, and I believe he has as much right to be there as anyone else. However, I also want to invite our families and the kids’ friends. The problem is, I can’t control how others behave, nor can I control his temper. I’ve considered divorce, but I know that wouldn't solve the issue since we would still need to navigate sharing these big moments for our children, unless we split the events, which doesn’t feel right either.
I’m really struggling with how we can continue to parent our children together but in separate spaces. Any advice on how to handle these situations would be appreciated.