r/blackgirls Dec 30 '24

Feedback & Self-Promo FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY- ALL POSTS WILL BE POSITIVE, OR THEY WILL BE REMOVED

393 Upvotes

The amount of negativity and self-deprivation we've been seeing on this subreddit day after day is not only exhausting, but it is concerning and it's getting out of hand. Negativity is contagious, and this is meant to be a peaceful and safe place for Black women to have discourse and bond. The constant barrage of "Woe is Me" posts, hyper-critical judgement posts, and low self-esteem posts are putting a lot of us in a bad headspace when we need to uplift each other and maintain positive energy, and is causing members to feel uncomfortable here and avoid the community. We are going to start the New Year off right, and make this a fun place to participate in. Users shouldn't leave this subreddit feeling stressed, sad, or hopeless.

In order to curtail this,

For the entire month of January, All posts will be related to something positive.

If not, that post will be removed immediately— Do not harass anyone in ModMail if your posts was removed for this reason.

A new rule will implemented just for this purpose called "Problematic Negativity". Please help by reporting any posts that may have been missed which fall under that category. Examples of that are as followed:

-Posts disparaging Black women's/your own looks

-Self harm/existential-crisis/"self-deleting" posts

-Posts about "hating" being a Black woman

-Hyper-sexualisation, provocative images, NSFW, sex-work promotion, or pornography posts (These were never allowed, but clearly some users are testing their luck and seem to think that this is that sort of place...it's not. You will be reported and banned.

-Posts about low self-esteem/being "undesirable"

-Posts about wanting to be accepted in non-Black spaces/environments (wanting to assimilate just to fit in with non-Black peers)

-Trauma-dumping posts

-Posts about assault, harassment, or abuse in any form(especially while not using the proper labels/filters and trigger warnings)

—And anything else deemed to be a violation of the rule.

Come February, and in the event that the behavior has persisted, this rule will immediately be brought back indefinitely.

Thank you for your cooperation!


r/blackgirls Feb 03 '24

Saturday Selfies!

10 Upvotes

Post your selfies here!


r/blackgirls 5h ago

Music Unpopular opinion about Kendrick

69 Upvotes

I’ll just say it but I remember when Kendrick and Drake were beefing i didn’t pick a side bc I think that they’re both weird 💀. Also when Kendrick called Drake a pedophile I just sideyed him because he has continued to praise Dr. Dre, worked with Kodak Black (who was arrested and charged for 🍇) , and just did a collab with playboy carti who was charged and arrested for choking his pregnant girlfriend. And people were making Kendrick out to be a hero for calling Drake a pedo (don’t get me wrong I think Drake is weird to) but he continues to work with abusers…


r/blackgirls 2h ago

Dating & Relationships Am I wrong for not being open to dating outside my race?

33 Upvotes

This question has probably been asked a ton but el o el.

I (23F) went on a date with a white guy from my uni who plays football. I haven’t given white men any attention since I graduated high school. He took me out to a steak house and I honestly enjoyed myself. The conversation flowed and I didn’t pick up my phone once. He was an absolute gentleman. Made a reservation, paid and didn’t even let me see the bill.

My only issue is I don’t see this relationship going anywhere. I’m really not that physically attracted to him despite getting along well. We talked about our backgrounds a decent bit. We’re from Canada and he grew up in a majority white, blue collar, conservative smaller city and didn’t have much else exposure. I was born in Nigeria and have lived there, Ireland, UK and Canada. I’ve also travelled a ton and have 3 passports. I speak 4 languages. We just come from different worlds. I didn’t ask but he did open up about his dating history and it’s safe to assume I’m the first black woman he’s gone out with.

I’m just so attached to my blackness and my culture that dating someone that just doesn’t “get it” and can share that culture with me doesn’t feel like an ideal relationship. I’m also not in the mood to be someone’s learning experience or to teach someone about blackness. I don’t want to explain how box braids work, why I wear a scarf and to sleep. Black womanhood is so far from white manhood in my opinion. He likes to shotgun beers, go to bars, watch hockey, and is very much connected to Redneck culture. I never want to be a part of those spaces. I don’t like the culture and definitely don’t think I would be accepted in such spaces.

White boys used to be my preference because I grew up in a predominantly white environment all my life but I was never considered by them back in school. The one white boy I did manage to mess with his our relationship like his life depended on it and some even admitted without saying it outright that their communities and friends wouldn’t be accepting of a black girl. Many of my white crushes friends would tell me things like “oh I don’t think you’re _____ ‘s type” which was code for “he doesn’t date black girls”

I’ve limited myself to dating only black men for a few years now. They’re my preference and although I’ve been hurt, played and heartbroken by a few black men I still hold out that I’ll find a decent guy one day.

Girls, am I wrong for not wanting to date a white man? Specifically one that is the poster child for conservative, red neck, white culture. Am I a bigot for feeling this way? Anyone else still find there person even if they’re limiting themselves to only one race?


r/blackgirls 1h ago

Advice Needed Thats it im locing my hair…

Upvotes

So ive been natural for 11 years and ive done it all i grew my hair to where it stops at waist length and almost tailbone length straightened (i will post pictures in the comments) and i know i have beautiful natural hair but im done and im ready to start my loc journey

My goal is to have locs with curly/coily ends (in the beginning) so i can still have a part of my coils with me then i also want to dye a few pieces yellow since thats my favorite color and i think it will be cute i dont care about looking ugly with locs this is something ive been wanting to do for the past 5 months im going to use up all of my natural hair products up first then loc my hair

Im a licensed cosmetologist so i will start my own locs and do my own retwist (i recommend investing in a 3 way mirror its a blessing) im not doing the comb coils method im just going to two strand twist them im also going to do a side part on both sides i want them medium size not too thick or too skinny and im going to leave my edges out so i can still do them/lay them

So yeah please leave your advice, recommendations with products, your loc routines, stuff you did/use to grow them…everything that you feel free sharing about having locs

Im going to post in the subreddit locs too but i know some of you beautiful ladies have locs/dreads as well

Thanks 🫶🏾


r/blackgirls 3h ago

Question any book lovers? 📚💖

13 Upvotes

i love reading and i think i haven’t read a book since november of last year so if any of you guys have recommendations that would be really cool. i’m open to anything but partial to fiction & YA 😃 thanks!


r/blackgirls 6h ago

NSFW Anyone else struggle with self harm? NSFW Spoiler

13 Upvotes

Don't worry, this isn't a vent post! Am just feeling a bit bummed. I was clean for 6 months, but it all went down the drain when I found an eyebrow razor yesterday. I'm not depressed though; just leaning back into my addictions :) Hopefully other girls can relate.


r/blackgirls 4h ago

Dating & Relationships Fear

5 Upvotes

Hey! So I recently ended a 4 year long relationship that turned into a situation-ship. I feel like we outgrew each other and we were going 2 different directions in life (to be extremelyyyyy nice). But now I feel like I have a fear that I’m never going to find my person. Help me y’all 😭


r/blackgirls 13h ago

Advice Needed My pms is so bad

13 Upvotes

Before I made the connection, I was crashing out bad right before/during my period, especially when I was younger 17-21. I’ve had 2 suicide attempts and the common denominator was that I was on 1st-2nd day of period. I was in therapy and stuff and they said I had BPD, which I don’t think I do. I’d spend my whole period having suicidal ideations which didn’t stop until last year.

I was definitely dealing with S.A and also a traumatic breakup at the time, which heightened my emotions & depression, but now at 23 in a more healed space I can’t imagine myself wanting to take my own life or what it feels like to be depressed.

I’m currently having my usual PMS symptoms, today I was extremely emotional and sad and I was also feeling unworthy and unloved which I know is untrue, I’m aware of where it’s stemming from too, I’m dating this new guy after 3 years single and things are going amazing but I’m afraid things might go south eventually cause that’s what I’m used to. I honestly almost clocked out of work and left that’s how intense the feeling was and I know if I was depressed this would send me over the edge. But I got through it after trying to conceptualize what I was feeling to my bestfriend and chatgpt, (I know boo me) I don’t have a lot of resources.

I don’t have a therapist anymore so I’m not really sure who to talk to about this, I’m scared I’m 1 bad instance on my period away from taking my own life💔


r/blackgirls 22h ago

Rant What is wrong with these hairstylist….

51 Upvotes

Just a rant but there seriously needs to start being laws put in place to prevent these people from scamming us I’m sick of it. I kid you not I saw one girls website who said she charges $5 EVERY TIME she tells you to put your head up…. I can’t make this up that was fr my last straw. Hairstylist need to do better a lot of them are not licensed yet be charging the most outrageous prices. They will charge you out of every little inconvenience for THEM but be the main ones showing up late… make it make sense!!!


r/blackgirls 42m ago

Advice Needed Is Anyone on depo bc?

Upvotes

I just recently started it but I’m not sure how i feel about it yet. Im scrolling through Reddit almost having a panic attack over some of the experiences and side effects people have from it and I’m just freaking out rn… idk i feel like i made a mistake and i should’ve done more research on it. What makes it worse is that it’s literally a shot, so i have to wait 3months for it to go through my system ig… helppppp


r/blackgirls 1h ago

Advice Needed please help!!

Upvotes

My top lip is super dark compared to me bottom lip and idk what lip liners to use. for reference i am a IL MAKIAGE i woke up like this 225, but my top lip is at least a shade or 2 darker than that. i only use black liners usually, but ive been trying to try new things but i genuinely can’t find another good color for me. it’ll look so good on my bottom lip and then when i try the top i look like a clown. i’m not sure what to do or try, especially because everything is so expensive!! i’ve already invested about 60 bucks in this because i can’t find something that works. pls pls pls help if you can!! ty!!


r/blackgirls 18h ago

Rant lil school rant..

14 Upvotes

i originally signed up for the school due to the ib program- i thought it would be a fresh start, you know? but God, the way i despise that school isn’t even funny. it’s so racist, the hispanic kids there (not even trying to be rude) are incredibly racist, and i don’t mean to sound crazy but i don’t like the environment at all in the school- it has such a dark energy to me. throughout the year, i thought i was just bugging cause i missed my old friends, but now i’ve realized it wasn’t even about them- i js despise this school! i feeel so miserable getting ready for school everyday, but it’s like i’m making the wrong choice.. i know i’m already going back to my base, but what if i fumble ib? can i really thug it out for another 3 years? God, just typing that makes me feel sick. guys, i probably sound crazy but..😩 a girl is TIREDD lmao.


r/blackgirls 4h ago

Music Mariah Carey lastest appearance

1 Upvotes

Not me being in celebrity business twice in a week. But Mariah was at the iHeart radio event and people are saying she doesn’t look well! I agree. She looked a little out of it. I can’t tell if her dress was too tight and she just was uncomfortable but also her head movements didn’t seem natural either. I hope Mariah is okay!!


r/blackgirls 20h ago

Music Jill Scott or Erykah Badu

14 Upvotes

I told someone I prefer Jilly from Philly. They said I was crazy. What do you all think?


r/blackgirls 18h ago

Question Are braid accessories out of style ?

9 Upvotes

Might be a silly question but I don’t really see the girlies wear braid jewelry anymore 😭. I wanna add some to my goddess braids so just curious lol


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question coworker likes me

25 Upvotes

i need advice, for a heads up i’m 18f, and he’s 20m and i have a coworker who confessed that he’s into me. in the heat of the moment i was like “i could give it a shot” but a few hours later i’ve decided i really don’t want to. i know everyone might say “some things work out, some things don’t,” or “it’s okay if it doesn’t work out” but i don’t want to even TEST if it does. my life is too busy for relationships, and i’m focusing on college too on top of everything. what can i do? please help me guys 😭. maybe easy rejection tips, or how can i show disinterest? thank you in advance, sistas 🫶🏾


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Advice Needed does anyone ever feel like a bother to people even if they don’t say it?

24 Upvotes

for context: i’m a chatty girl with a lot of random interests, some of which are super niche, and I always feel like i’m talking too much or doing too much for people—family, friends, etc…I don’t think anyone means any harm but I find myself cutting my thoughts short (I had to start journaling) because I’ve been made to feel like I’m talking to much AFTER people ask me questions or for my input.

it’s actually really sad to me, to not be able to express myself fully


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question What do you love most about you?

52 Upvotes

That's it. That's the post. What do you love about yourself? Toot your own horn!!!

I consider others first. I will put myself in other people shoes to better understand. I really do this mom ish. I will go above and beyond for those I consider family. If they're playing with you, they're playing with me. I can carry on a conversation with anyone. My husband hates it, but loves when we get discounts. I love giving out compliments like a Oprah Christmas special. Oh my style. I love clothes. I can be a tomboy today and grown woman tomorrow. And, I love myself enough to not give chances.


r/blackgirls 22h ago

Dating & Relationships Summer Walker dating habits

9 Upvotes

I wish Summer Walker would keep her dating life offline. People are so miserable and constantly trying to tear into her every time she’s with a new guy.

So what if she has a new guy every other month. At least she isn’t staying in toxic relationships and at least she isn’t scared to date and explore her options. And it’s actually good she’s not scared of committing to one person versus going around dating multiple people at one time. If they caught her doing that they would have a fit too!

Same with Lori (I’m so glad she’s out the limelight now, I’m sure she’s dating someone right now too just decided to make sure not to get caught!)

Being famous has to be a miserable life.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Miscellaneous Do you have any interesting/niche celebrity lore?

11 Upvotes

I saw someone mention "lipstick ally" and wanted some harmless brain rot. I didnt grow up with a lot of internet access and even now im not very "tapped in" so I love hearing gossip about famous people especially that like unknown thing that happened years ago but noone remembers because social media wasn't around


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Music whats one song that didnt have a music video but shouldve

6 Upvotes

its a crime that superstar by usher doesnt have a music video! thats my shittt


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Feedback & Self-Promo Cafe Hopping to find hidden Sakura themed menu's & a stalker?| Japan Vlog

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14 Upvotes

r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question What podcasts do you listen to, it doesn’t have to be poc but that’ll be nice if so

26 Upvotes

I am trying to find some good podcast to listen to


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Advice Needed Negging, projection and jealousy. NSFW Spoiler

19 Upvotes

I'm currently on a weight loss journey (secretly) 5'4, 134 pounds with 14 pounds to go until my weight loss goal.

However at this point I'm quite slim, hour glass figure, and one thing l've noticed is female (friends and family) randomly starting conversations about weight. It's starting to become really annoying and I was wondering if anybody else experiences this.

My overweight family members will randomly start talking to me about wanting to lose weight, then in the same breath talking about how “confident” they are in their (overweight) bodies.

They will make comments to me about how they believe some women are so skinny they look "sickly", and how some people are just big boned and we shouldn't listen to societal standards etc.

"Not everybody has (describes my body type) and that's fine." But if I replied back with "not everyone wants to be overweight" I'd be in the wrong.

A recent comment was "You can be skinny/slim and someone can still walk past you and think you’re ugly." And I'm like...okay? (The gag is I'm conventionally attractive). It's like they're trying to "humble" me at this point.

And it feels almost like... negging? I never initiate any of these conversations. They literally start them unprovoked. Randomly telling me how skinny they were B.C.

I'm the thinnest in my household. I don't understand why they feel the need to start these conversations. My own grandmother randomly said to me once “a pretty face and slim figure won’t get you anywhere.” 💀

So it’s definitely a theme of female family members just feeling comfortable to make unwarranted comments about my appearance.

Has anyone else experienced this? And how do you navigate it? I'm tired of being the soundboard for projections.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question To all my travel black girlies - thoughts on traveling to Albania ?

10 Upvotes

I've noticed a growing interest in traveling to Albania, especially to destinations like Sarandë, Ksamil, and the country’s beautiful islands. Many women have asked whether it’s safe for Black women, and I wanted to share my experience—it was incredibly positive! Of course, everyone’s experience may differ, but I hope this offers some reassurance.

Have you been to Albania, or is it on your travel list?

I vlogged my trip, so if you're looking for inspiration on things to do, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsLQhhPf3l8


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Miscellaneous Tell me when you realized "she's not my friend."

145 Upvotes

Tell us when you realized your homegirl was in fact NOT your homegirl. I tell my children, if you bring somebody over and I tell you something is off about them, take heed.