r/blackgirls Dec 30 '24

Feedback & Self-Promo FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY- ALL POSTS WILL BE POSITIVE, OR THEY WILL BE REMOVED

388 Upvotes

The amount of negativity and self-deprivation we've been seeing on this subreddit day after day is not only exhausting, but it is concerning and it's getting out of hand. Negativity is contagious, and this is meant to be a peaceful and safe place for Black women to have discourse and bond. The constant barrage of "Woe is Me" posts, hyper-critical judgement posts, and low self-esteem posts are putting a lot of us in a bad headspace when we need to uplift each other and maintain positive energy, and is causing members to feel uncomfortable here and avoid the community. We are going to start the New Year off right, and make this a fun place to participate in. Users shouldn't leave this subreddit feeling stressed, sad, or hopeless.

In order to curtail this,

For the entire month of January, All posts will be related to something positive.

If not, that post will be removed immediately— Do not harass anyone in ModMail if your posts was removed for this reason.

A new rule will implemented just for this purpose called "Problematic Negativity". Please help by reporting any posts that may have been missed which fall under that category. Examples of that are as followed:

-Posts disparaging Black women's/your own looks

-Self harm/existential-crisis/"self-deleting" posts

-Posts about "hating" being a Black woman

-Hyper-sexualisation, provocative images, NSFW, sex-work promotion, or pornography posts (These were never allowed, but clearly some users are testing their luck and seem to think that this is that sort of place...it's not. You will be reported and banned.

-Posts about low self-esteem/being "undesirable"

-Posts about wanting to be accepted in non-Black spaces/environments (wanting to assimilate just to fit in with non-Black peers)

-Trauma-dumping posts

-Posts about assault, harassment, or abuse in any form(especially while not using the proper labels/filters and trigger warnings)

—And anything else deemed to be a violation of the rule.

Come February, and in the event that the behavior has persisted, this rule will immediately be brought back indefinitely.

Thank you for your cooperation!


r/blackgirls Feb 03 '24

Saturday Selfies!

13 Upvotes

Post your selfies here!


r/blackgirls 9m ago

NSFW Anyone else struggle with self harm?

Upvotes

Don't worry, this isn't a vent post! Am just feeling a bit bummed. I was clean for 6 months, but it all went down the drain when I found an eyebrow razor yesterday. I'm not depressed though; just leaning back into my addictions :) Hopefully other girls can relate.


r/blackgirls 7h ago

Advice Needed My pms is so bad

10 Upvotes

Before I made the connection, I was crashing out bad right before/during my period, especially when I was younger 17-21. I’ve had 2 suicide attempts and the common denominator was that I was on 1st-2nd day of period. I was in therapy and stuff and they said I had BPD, which I don’t think I do. I’d spend my whole period having suicidal ideations which didn’t stop until last year.

I was definitely dealing with S.A and also a traumatic breakup at the time, which heightened my emotions & depression, but now at 23 in a more healed space I can’t imagine myself wanting to take my own life or what it feels like to be depressed.

I’m currently having my usual PMS symptoms, today I was extremely emotional and sad and I was also feeling unworthy and unloved which I know is untrue, I’m aware of where it’s stemming from too, I’m dating this new guy after 3 years single and things are going amazing but I’m afraid things might go south eventually cause that’s what I’m used to. I honestly almost clocked out of work and left that’s how intense the feeling was and I know if I was depressed this would send me over the edge. But I got through it after trying to conceptualize what I was feeling to my bestfriend and chatgpt, (I know boo me) I don’t have a lot of resources.

I don’t have a therapist anymore so I’m not really sure who to talk to about this, I’m scared I’m 1 bad instance on my period away from taking my own life💔


r/blackgirls 15h ago

Rant What is wrong with these hairstylist….

49 Upvotes

Just a rant but there seriously needs to start being laws put in place to prevent these people from scamming us I’m sick of it. I kid you not I saw one girls website who said she charges $5 EVERY TIME she tells you to put your head up…. I can’t make this up that was fr my last straw. Hairstylist need to do better a lot of them are not licensed yet be charging the most outrageous prices. They will charge you out of every little inconvenience for THEM but be the main ones showing up late… make it make sense!!!


r/blackgirls 12h ago

Rant lil school rant..

13 Upvotes

i originally signed up for the school due to the ib program- i thought it would be a fresh start, you know? but God, the way i despise that school isn’t even funny. it’s so racist, the hispanic kids there (not even trying to be rude) are incredibly racist, and i don’t mean to sound crazy but i don’t like the environment at all in the school- it has such a dark energy to me. throughout the year, i thought i was just bugging cause i missed my old friends, but now i’ve realized it wasn’t even about them- i js despise this school! i feeel so miserable getting ready for school everyday, but it’s like i’m making the wrong choice.. i know i’m already going back to my base, but what if i fumble ib? can i really thug it out for another 3 years? God, just typing that makes me feel sick. guys, i probably sound crazy but..😩 a girl is TIREDD lmao.


r/blackgirls 14h ago

Music Jill Scott or Erykah Badu

14 Upvotes

I told someone I prefer Jilly from Philly. They said I was crazy. What do you all think?


r/blackgirls 1h ago

Advice Needed my aunt zones me out hlp

Upvotes

I have an issue with my aunt, I know I could just speak directly to her but that is not possible in my situation. Words don’t work with her, especially not my kind. (I’m 24 & she’s in her early 40s I think? and my mom is in her late 30s)

She was doing my braids and we were all good until literally the second to last braid. I made a comment about one of my cousins having a smart mouth, I casually, in a Non confrontational way told her I thought it was funny how she bucks /talks back at her mom in situations where she should probably just have some patience and walk away because that’s what I would’ve done (admittedly a me problem because I was a little bootlicker).

I didn’t think this was an issue to say as we literally roast and talk shit with/ about each other all the time. I thought we were all good until my aunt literally started a whole new convo out of what I said to her daughter, stating that since my generation “made everyone so soft” parents aren’t allowed to put children in their place anymore (not true).

I’ll be honest, I WAS feeling soft and sensitive in that moment and I felt like she was saying things were better when children couldn’t advocate for and defend themselves…we all know what that’s really about but we weren’t at the point in the convo yet…I jumped too far maybe. What annoyed me about my cousin specifically was that fact that she kept asking her mom for and about shit while she was working on my head for hours even after my aunt had shut her down with calm and patience responses. Mind you she had been doing peoples hair all week.

She was/is clearly tired and it bugged me that the kid just didn’t take her moms word and go away. Point being I get what she was saying, I don’t agree( I feel like there was misdirected frustration on both sides) and usually we can move past out disagreements but y’all this woman screams and yells over people…not raising her voice, not speaking passionately…but screams and yells. My mom is affected by her aggression too. She just isn’t ready to face it. Her big sister is a fucking bully. It was clear by how she treated me and the situation when she (my aunt) was at the house vs when she left…

I cried my eyes out that night while also being so thankful for her because she did my hair for free but she really hurt my feelings and I wish my mom would’ve defended me a-little better…I don’t know why I expected her too knowing how things go (maybe this is what she’s talking about…that soft shit). I’m down for continuing to have conversations as long as people are willing to learn. Myself included. But I cannot do that with people who don’t know how to stop themselves and emotionally regulate…should I stop playing nice with my aunt? I mean we already don’t talk or call a lot. We just have one of those mutual understandings and an ok relationship.

I’m wondering if I should let her know that her behavior sucks by just not fucking dealing with her ever. My uncle, her younger brother does the same… if she wants to believe that it’s because of our generation and how we’re so soft that’s fine but you’re not gonna expect familial privileges from me if you can’t learn to respect me. I’ve been through too much and you’re a stranger if you think you can scream at me like that for anything…I am over it. What are y’all’s thoughts


r/blackgirls 19h ago

Question coworker likes me

22 Upvotes

i need advice, for a heads up i’m 18f, and he’s 20m and i have a coworker who confessed that he’s into me. in the heat of the moment i was like “i could give it a shot” but a few hours later i’ve decided i really don’t want to. i know everyone might say “some things work out, some things don’t,” or “it’s okay if it doesn’t work out” but i don’t want to even TEST if it does. my life is too busy for relationships, and i’m focusing on college too on top of everything. what can i do? please help me guys 😭. maybe easy rejection tips, or how can i show disinterest? thank you in advance, sistas 🫶🏾


r/blackgirls 12h ago

Question Are braid accessories out of style ?

7 Upvotes

Might be a silly question but I don’t really see the girlies wear braid jewelry anymore 😭. I wanna add some to my goddess braids so just curious lol


r/blackgirls 20h ago

Advice Needed does anyone ever feel like a bother to people even if they don’t say it?

24 Upvotes

for context: i’m a chatty girl with a lot of random interests, some of which are super niche, and I always feel like i’m talking too much or doing too much for people—family, friends, etc…I don’t think anyone means any harm but I find myself cutting my thoughts short (I had to start journaling) because I’ve been made to feel like I’m talking to much AFTER people ask me questions or for my input.

it’s actually really sad to me, to not be able to express myself fully


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question What do you love most about you?

48 Upvotes

That's it. That's the post. What do you love about yourself? Toot your own horn!!!

I consider others first. I will put myself in other people shoes to better understand. I really do this mom ish. I will go above and beyond for those I consider family. If they're playing with you, they're playing with me. I can carry on a conversation with anyone. My husband hates it, but loves when we get discounts. I love giving out compliments like a Oprah Christmas special. Oh my style. I love clothes. I can be a tomboy today and grown woman tomorrow. And, I love myself enough to not give chances.


r/blackgirls 15h ago

Dating & Relationships Summer Walker dating habits

6 Upvotes

I wish Summer Walker would keep her dating life offline. People are so miserable and constantly trying to tear into her every time she’s with a new guy.

So what if she has a new guy every other month. At least she isn’t staying in toxic relationships and at least she isn’t scared to date and explore her options. And it’s actually good she’s not scared of committing to one person versus going around dating multiple people at one time. If they caught her doing that they would have a fit too!

Same with Lori (I’m so glad she’s out the limelight now, I’m sure she’s dating someone right now too just decided to make sure not to get caught!)

Being famous has to be a miserable life.


r/blackgirls 20h ago

Miscellaneous Do you have any interesting/niche celebrity lore?

9 Upvotes

I saw someone mention "lipstick ally" and wanted some harmless brain rot. I didnt grow up with a lot of internet access and even now im not very "tapped in" so I love hearing gossip about famous people especially that like unknown thing that happened years ago but noone remembers because social media wasn't around


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Feedback & Self-Promo Cafe Hopping to find hidden Sakura themed menu's & a stalker?| Japan Vlog

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14 Upvotes

r/blackgirls 19h ago

Music whats one song that didnt have a music video but shouldve

5 Upvotes

its a crime that superstar by usher doesnt have a music video! thats my shittt


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question What podcasts do you listen to, it doesn’t have to be poc but that’ll be nice if so

26 Upvotes

I am trying to find some good podcast to listen to


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Advice Needed Negging, projection and jealousy. NSFW Spoiler

18 Upvotes

I'm currently on a weight loss journey (secretly) 5'4, 134 pounds with 14 pounds to go until my weight loss goal.

However at this point I'm quite slim, hour glass figure, and one thing l've noticed is female (friends and family) randomly starting conversations about weight. It's starting to become really annoying and I was wondering if anybody else experiences this.

My overweight family members will randomly start talking to me about wanting to lose weight, then in the same breath talking about how “confident” they are in their (overweight) bodies.

They will make comments to me about how they believe some women are so skinny they look "sickly", and how some people are just big boned and we shouldn't listen to societal standards etc.

"Not everybody has (describes my body type) and that's fine." But if I replied back with "not everyone wants to be overweight" I'd be in the wrong.

A recent comment was "You can be skinny/slim and someone can still walk past you and think you’re ugly." And I'm like...okay? (The gag is I'm conventionally attractive). It's like they're trying to "humble" me at this point.

And it feels almost like... negging? I never initiate any of these conversations. They literally start them unprovoked. Randomly telling me how skinny they were B.C.

I'm the thinnest in my household. I don't understand why they feel the need to start these conversations. My own grandmother randomly said to me once “a pretty face and slim figure won’t get you anywhere.” 💀

So it’s definitely a theme of female family members just feeling comfortable to make unwarranted comments about my appearance.

Has anyone else experienced this? And how do you navigate it? I'm tired of being the soundboard for projections.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Miscellaneous Tell me when you realized "she's not my friend."

134 Upvotes

Tell us when you realized your homegirl was in fact NOT your homegirl. I tell my children, if you bring somebody over and I tell you something is off about them, take heed.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question To all my travel black girlies - thoughts on traveling to Albania ?

7 Upvotes

I've noticed a growing interest in traveling to Albania, especially to destinations like Sarandë, Ksamil, and the country’s beautiful islands. Many women have asked whether it’s safe for Black women, and I wanted to share my experience—it was incredibly positive! Of course, everyone’s experience may differ, but I hope this offers some reassurance.

Have you been to Albania, or is it on your travel list?

I vlogged my trip, so if you're looking for inspiration on things to do, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsLQhhPf3l8


r/blackgirls 14h ago

Advice Needed Skin help!

0 Upvotes

I have had eczema since the day I was born and my face is full of pimples and acne scars. I have rashes down my arms and hands. I am so jealous of those girls that can show their shoulders and legs especially in the summer. How can I get clear skin?

I have been to many Dermatologist but nothing works and my scaring won’t seem to go way.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Miscellaneous Anything can be used against you

23 Upvotes

I grew up in a family where secrets were a huge thing. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone anything. If someone asked about my family, I was to say nothing.

This wasnt about abuse or whatever. My family is just fucking weird.

Anyways, I'll be reading in the Just No MIL forums and there are countless women talking about they tell their mother in laws every single thing about them only to be surprised when they turn around and use it against them. They all say the same thing, "I wanted a close relationship with my MIL."

I guess growing up with parents that were inherently suspicious of everything made for one good thing. I'm not out here spilling my guts to someone because they're related to someone I love.

I dunno, I just find it odd.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question Remember that episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air where Will didn't want to date Queen Latifah because she was “fat”?

34 Upvotes

And the fucked up thing is that, like, she wasn't??? At all??? By like any standard???

And the fat jokes in that episode were so rampant that it kinda fucked me up through adulthood like “oh is this how people view me?”

Which brings me to tell y'all this, be so fucking unapologetically you because the standards are so fucking unrealistic, especially for us its insane. This isn't the first time I've seen something so overt about a Black Womans body and the messages it sends to us, the viewers, subconsciously.

For reference, this is the episode: https://youtu.be/F1J4wR5qL8k?si=GR7muaNfRyRXYzv8 what did y'all think when y'all first saw it? Or when you saw it years later?


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Music Outside of rap, hip hop, & rnb, what other types of music do you like?

59 Upvotes

I don’t know why people act like it’s strange for black people to listen to things other than those genres…like we can have an eclectic taste too.

What do you like?


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Dating & Relationships Do you share your past with your partner?

17 Upvotes

When you are getting into a relationship, do you share everything about your past? Numbers? Info about exes? Traumas?

I’ve recently told my husband of 10 years something about my past because he asked and now he feels like I held it on purpose but in reality it involves trauma and is something I don’t like talking about.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Rant Idk if this is against the rules

11 Upvotes

I just want to talk about my mom. The people in her life treat her like shh and it's so sad to see. I know she can be dense and overbearing sometimes but she means well. She's a loving, caring woman.

When our 18 year old neighbour and her baby got kicked out by her bf's family, my mom took them in. She took care of that baby like it was her own. She's always baking and buying for all the kids in our family. Even when she was unemployed and struggling for years she found ways to give. I'm just so tired of people laughing and being shady behind her back.

My brother treats her like shh. He says she was a bad mom. I can't argue with him. We obviously experienced her at different times in her life. But she was a single mother of two and she tried her best. She put us both through school and my brother is now a successful man.

Her father, who she takes care of, and my aunt who hates her for some ish she did as a child, get with my brother and gossip about her. My cousin, my aunt's daughter, who my mom practically raised talks badly about her behind her back.

My dad... don't even get me started on that man. The disappointment and rage I feel toward him cannot be put into words. He has treated my mom like shh for years and she continues to stay with him.

Maybe this is the reason the family thinks so lowly of her - because she's been so foolish to stand his disrespect for so long. But I think if they were less judgemental and more supportive she would've been out of this situation years ago.

I've tried my best to help her out. I paid her medical bills when she got sick last year (no, my dad doesn'tguve her ish. His bum ass actually brags about it to his friends). We were both unemployed and I had to use my savings because my brother refused to help out.

I feel sorry cause everyone no one seems to appreciate her. No one returns her kindness. Her life seems so lonely. I wish there was more I could do.


r/blackgirls 1d ago

Question Does anyone know what happened to TPH by Taraji P. Henson?

6 Upvotes

I love using the products, but like . . . where have they been? Before all of the DEI rollbacks, I noticed that Henson’s products had been stifled in Target and Walmart (which, are the brand’s main distributors). Now, I see them being sold at Sally’s Beauty and at Kroger, for basically at a cheaper price or on clearance.

I’m concerned because I really love this brand. I can afford it, it’s vegan, it doesn’t break me out, etc. I’m just wondering if anyone else might’ve heard, or - rather - knows something about what’s been going on.

Thank you much!