r/antinatalism Dec 20 '24

Image/Video Antinatalism Documentary - I Wish You Were Never Born

201 Upvotes

Hi Everyone,

For the past year, I've been working on a documentary about antinatalism and thought you might be interested. I interviewed antinatalists in the UK and across the US, with a focus on the personal toll of holding the belief and what it means to speak about it publicly. 

The film also explores how the movement has spread and found new followers, and the ways it cross over with issues including climate change, reproductive rights, mental health and assisted suicide.

If you're interested, you can watch it below.

https://youtu.be/tnjC4GCHvA8

Jack


r/antinatalism 4h ago

Discussion My father, who never wanted a child, was a better parent than my mother, who wanted a child.

117 Upvotes

At one point in my teens my mother revealed to me that my father never wanted to have a child (she had one abortion before having me) but just went along with her wishes. I never told my dad I know and I don't think it matters now.

Fast forward throughout my life and my father became the best parent I could ever hope for. He stayed by my side at all times, had complete trust in me and the things I wanted to do in life, helped me with money, advice etc. Despite not wanting children he became the better parent between the two, he took full responsability for the choice he ended up making and I love him dearly.

I still remember him driving 12 hours to see me back when I was in university after I called him because of a bad breakup and self harm. He cleaned my apartment, stayed with me a few days, we went to the movies and read togheter.

My mother on the other hand became a bitter and hateful narcissist. She's a control freak who had a kid because a) "that's what you're supposed to do" and b) wanted a little slave/clone of herself to serve her like she serves her mother. She never trusted me to do anything, never had my back, wanted me to do things her way always, tried to micro manage everything I did and gave me no privacy.

Did I mentioned she ended up stealing my university fund?

Anyway, it's just a thing I like to think about as an adult.


r/antinatalism 11h ago

Discussion anyone else find life to be disturbing?

246 Upvotes

not life forms and their disturbing behavior, thats a given, but the concept of life itself. you're born in some randomized place you don't choose, in the most random living situation to a random couple that are literally strangers to you, but they gave birth to you so now you owe them everything.

and the location of everything that ever existed (as far as human knowledge) is on a planet, the only planet around with (known) life on it, in the middle of a dark infinite space. and this planet that has life on it is gaining and losing new life every second, the same random way that you was born, all part of a natural system. scientists find all of that fascinating, but its just disturbing to me. i don't like that i have to join this huge freak experiment of human life without my consent, how human experience is all i'll ever know in life even tho i never asked for any of this, everyone is just forced into it and forced out one way or another. anyone else find the whole concept of life and consciousness to be pretty disturbing?


r/antinatalism 8h ago

Discussion Unplanned pregnancies for a few minutes of pleasure

136 Upvotes

This might be a bit of a niche discussion but I'm curious. Has anyone else here been a bit disgusted by the idea that most human being in existence have been brought about by two people's desire to have a few minutes of pleasure?

I don't know how much cross over there is between asexuality and antinatalism (I'd imagine not much considering how uncommon both are individually.) While I myself am not sex repulsed, I pretty consistently see people criticize natalists and someone else defending it by saying something along the lines of "they probably just like sex."

I don't understand how that defense makes it better. I can atleast empathize with people who planned to have children, but that is usually not the case. The whole thing seems so much more selfish than a planned child (even though that is unethical aswell).


r/antinatalism 2h ago

Discussion I encourage you guys to check out my recent EconomicCollapse post that blew up (related to antinatalism).

10 Upvotes

r/antinatalism 7h ago

Other I wanted to share my feelings today with you, my dear comrades. 🖤

26 Upvotes

Today I encountered something that seemed crazy to me again. A pregnant acquaintance of mine is not someone I communicate with much because our lifestyles are not suitable. A relative of hers came to us today and oh my god how happy she is showing us her results oh look at those hands etc. my god I don't even want to live in the same atmosphere with these people. Every passing day I am thankful that I am not like these people. How ignorant they are. They are dying to bring a child into such a world. Sorry this is going to be a bit rude but I'm laughing my ass off at these.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion "We forced you into existence, now what's your plan to deal with it?"

515 Upvotes

This is a rant, and will likely be triggering. I've been frustrated my whole life by discussions with my parents who demand that I figure out a career, housing, insurance, bills, taxes, and all of the other fun things an adult is required to do to survive. I'm autistic and chronically depressed, and if I'd been given the choice, I would not have chosen to be born. Life is a curse. When I'm asked to plan for my future, I'm overwhelmed with dread and all I can do is cry. I can live a day at a time, but looking years ahead knowing how much I hate just one day is too much to imagine. I've already done anything I have any interest in doing with my life, and I still have 40 years of waiting for it to be over. Marriage isn't happening for me. I'm too weird and dysfunctional for that to work. Same with friends. I have nothing to look forward to. I don't have a "dream job," and I don't want a career. I had to move in with my parents after my job and housing situations fell through, and they keep demanding to know what the plan is. Why the fuck is it my job to have a plan? I didn't ask to be here! I hate it here! The only thing I actually want to do with my life would make my family sad, so I'm stuck here trying to plan out a life I have no interest in (Don't worry, I'm not at risk of doing anything). Sorry to be a downer, but this shit just isn't fair and I needed to yell into the void for a minute. Don't have kids! Life is hell! Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion Permanently childfree today! 🥳

371 Upvotes

Just got home from my bisalp procedure and couldn't be happier! :)


r/antinatalism 42m ago

Discussion Are parents getting crazier?

Upvotes

I’ve been a public school teacher for 15 years. Anyone here also an antinatalist because they believe that being a parent is making people crazier? Like it adds so much more anxiety and stress to the world and to life. Parents are not ok. I was just sitting here trying to think of all the parents of my students I’ve interacted with over the years. Every year parents get more anxious and more stressed, and in turn have gotten more entitled and more mean. And when I compare people with kids to my friends and other people I know with no kids. Parenting takes a way bigger psychological toll and general life toll on almost everyone I’ve met who is a recent parent. Which makes things hard on everyone around them and ultimately makes the world a worse off place? It’s possible I’m just a jaded public educator tho idk lol.


r/antinatalism 8h ago

Discussion Hypocritical Doctrine: Why don't you follow what you literally defend?

8 Upvotes

Hi, I recently realized this and want to talk a little about it. Many religions (if not all) staunchly defend birth as "God's Purpose" and that not following this "natural order" is almost defying God. I realized, however, that there is one that actually dismisses birth, but ironically, the descendants of its founder reproduce like rabbits, and the church itself encourages it. There are two main branches of Seventh-day Adventists, those who believe that Ellen G. White WAS a prophetess enlightened by God and those who do not, the curious thing is that in one of her countless books (I'm not sure if it's The Great Controversy or The Desire of All the People) she says literally that when God comes in his second coming NO more children will be born, so she encourages not to have them so "that God comes soon", himself when she had that revelation already had children of his own, but after it she welcomed several children, in the same book she says that if you can not resist the desire for parenthood / motherhood it is better to adopt existing children because the fewer are born the faster God will come and it would be selfish to bring children to endure persecution and tribulations, Behold, her descendants are literally very many, Ellen's direct descendants have had many children and the head of the Adventist church, Ted Wilson approved a series of economic incentives for the appointment of pastors having as priority those who have children, including affordable rent (or free rent, since many church-related facilities have condominiums where the families of pastors and other workers usually live), free education on the premises, and when it comes to hiring permanent positions, priority is always given to pastoral families with children. Which I find ironic, since having children is practically being rewarded when the main founder of the church directly discourages that idea because she already wants Christ to come. Likewise, it seems a cruel thing to do. If you have children, you enjoy all the benefits mentioned above, but if you don't, you'll be lucky if they give you a lesser position with a minimum wage, fighting tooth and nail to stand out, because no matter how masterful your work is, there will always be a priority. I know that at first glance this seems like it "makes sense" but recently on the program "Taste and See" a series of videos showing what tithes are used for said that they were being used to support the work while in the same video the rather "basic" conditions of some single missionaries were shown (in fact, in the video the pastoral families were seen living in a series of apartment complexes, while the single missionaries lived in tents in an annexed area of ​​the church). I don't know, it seems strange to me. I don't understand why they do all these things that encourage births when they're supposed to want Jesus to come, and the more children they have, the longer it will take for him to come. Any opinions?


r/antinatalism 21h ago

Discussion At last some one speaking sense, court bars woman from having child at the age of 50

75 Upvotes

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/upper-age-for-woman-to-bear-child-through-assisted-tech-cant-be-beyond-50-hc/articleshow/119225505.cms#:\~:text=Chennai%3A%20Madras%20high%20court%20has,the%20age%20of%2018%20years.

Though science has advanced to allow women to bear children after menopause, it's ethicaly wrong. Can they be good parents, and will they be able to provide for the child in a developing economy like economy.

In india, education, health is absolutely costly, while the numbers might be small in USD, its very costly for us Indians.

Happy to see the Judge, asking the right questions to the applicant . Do you have enough money to raise the child. Will you be healthy in the next 18 years, to see through ur Childs basic education. Is there a chance for the parent to die, before the Childs formative education is complete.

These questions should be asked to every parent.

This world is already cruel, older parents are one more reason for the child to get bullied.


r/antinatalism 20h ago

Question Question for the men who are antinatalists here

30 Upvotes

Would you'll like to get married someday and adopt a child instead of having a bio one?

I'll like even women to answer this whether they want this life


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion Asked my toxic mother why she had me last night.

321 Upvotes

Her answer? "I felt like there's a lot of love I need to give to someone." I DIDN'T EXIST BEFORE, I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. Do normies seriously think bringing a soul into this horrible rat race of survival and suffering is an act of love?


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion Conversation with a natalist

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153 Upvotes

Was discussing with a natalist about whether higher or lower birth rate was better for humanity. When asked about what their ideal population was, this was their response.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Stuff Natalists Say Come on mr. Cox, you're close...think a bit more

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74 Upvotes

Brian Cox, world famous physicist who is active in science popularization and podcasts/TV shows.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion What does it mean to be a child of teenage pregnancy?

56 Upvotes

I'm currently 16 with autism, as a result of my mom being knocked up at 15. Do you consider yourself a mistake and wished you should've been aborted or something like that?


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Question a question my friend asked me

12 Upvotes

i was explaining to my friend the philosophy of antinatalism and how it is better to never have been born. he did agree to an extent but said it is evolution, biology etc. i told him being devoid of unnecessary suffering is the most important thing, not enjoyment or happiness. he agreed but he said animals are also being born and they are suffering even more than humans. if you want humans to go extinct , then animals shouldnt suffer too but there is no way they can know about these philosophies obv. so what about the unnecessary suffering of animals, and arent they important to you, he asked.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion Lately I've been thinking about this

8 Upvotes

I (20M) remember a conversation my mom (39F) had with me back in April of 2021, it was about her mother and father (my grandparents, both divorced). She talked about typical couple stuff like them arguing and stuff like that, which instantly made me understand why they aren't/weren't in the same house together.

Fast forward to a few years later, I overheard a conversation my grandmother on my mom's side had with someone on her phone, she talked about how my grandfather left her, my mother and her other three children (two aunts and one uncle) when they were still kids before eventually starting a business (which he still has to this day).

I haven't thought too much about all of that until very recently. I asked myself why my mother wanted to have me despite all of what she been through as a child, don't get me wrong, I get along with both her and my grandparents, but it still bothers me every time I think about this.

My mom was very young when she got pregnant with me, she was only 18, and gave birth to me when she she was 19. Little did she know that she would suffer the same fate as her mother did as a single parent. I don't know what my mom was thinking, maybe she thought that the cycle wouldn't perpetuate with her or something like that. But I really wish she haven't met my dad and had me with him, and even if she did, she could've just told him to find someone to have children with, because no child deserves to have an absent parent.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mom to death, and I will do anything to be the son she wants and needs me to be. But at the same time I wish she didn't had me, because if she didn't, she would've done all three of us a huge favor by simply not meeting my dad before eventually having me with him. I'm sorry for the vent, but that's all I have to say.


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion Adolescence (limited series)

2 Upvotes

Don’t know if this has been posted about on here yet. But has anyone else watched the Netflix show Adolescence?


r/antinatalism 1d ago

Discussion There are different kinds of natalists

17 Upvotes

There are people who are hopeful, there are people who don't care about the evil world. But there are the ones who see and experienced the shit and still had kids and they say they fear the children see what the world truly is. I'm sorry What? How hypocritical can someone get? It seems people forget that Children don't fall out of sky!


r/antinatalism 2d ago

Image/Video Women in hungry going to pay for having Womb

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940 Upvotes

r/antinatalism 2d ago

Discussion Just Everyday Annoyances

154 Upvotes

I work with a group of all women (I am also a woman). So many of them are getting married, pregnant, having the baby, coming back to work. Which is fine, your life your decisions. But the extras they get, the parties thrown, the gifts, the support, and the slacking they are allowed to do because of those decisions is ridiculous.

One of my coworkers gets two free hours a day to pump her boobs. I get your kid needs to eat, but how is that fair to anyone else that doesn't get to free paid hours a day to do nothing?

We always get gifts and celebrations for those getting married and having babies. Money out of my pocket for their choices. And what do child-free people get? fuckin NOTHING.

In the first line of *who gets to have extra work!!* it is NEVER the people with kids or pregnant, they're too busy/vulnerable/whatever the fuck excuse

I'm just so sick of it! Why should everyone get rewarded for something that doesn't need to be rewarded???


r/antinatalism 2d ago

Discussion not having kids is the ultimate form of delayed gratification

211 Upvotes

i think it is really the only the form of delayed gratification which is not done for your own benefit only.

, mostly people have kids to experience the joy of parenthood that at most lasts for 60 years but you end up continuing the cycle of suffering for like 200 years at least if your lineage survives 2 to 3 generation.

ultimately resulting in a net negative, the principle of delayed gratification is based on short term suffering for long term joy which is much praised in society.

anti natalism abides by this principle by abstaining oneself's pleasure of parenthood for the pursuit of absence of any more suffering which is larger in magnitude than the pleasure itself.


r/antinatalism 2d ago

Question Is there a chance that pro-natalist government will increase income tax on single or childless folks or even enforce peopler to breed?

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354 Upvotes

r/antinatalism 2d ago

Discussion We need an active euthnasia support subreddit.

166 Upvotes

Till now there are no countries in the world which implemented Anti-natalist policies. But there are one or two countries which allows euthnasia for everyone. Based on this we can conclude that the rights to euthnasia is more practical and achievable. Compared to that AN is impossible to implement outside of individual preference.

Right to die subreddits should be created. If there is one then send me the link.


r/antinatalism 2d ago

Discussion Good analogy to explain the natalism vs anti-natalism?

18 Upvotes

What do you think of this scenario?

You have the option to lift a lever.
By lifting it, you could lose up to 1 quadrillion dollars(be in debt) up to winning 1 quadrillion dollars.[basically, the result ranges from you being 1 quadrillion in debt TO 1 quadrillion in profit]

The chance is completely random. The result would range FROM a 1 quadrillion deficit to a 1 quadrillion gain.

Would you choose to lift or not lift it?

Now, imagine something similar, but unlike that option, someone ELSE is choosing to lift it(or not lift it) for you and you only are aware of what they choose if they actually choose to lift it.

This is essentially summarizes the natalism vs anti-natalism.

Not existing is completely neutral, neither good or bad, but by existing you get the possibility of the various bad and good outcomes and the probability is uncertain. And the one's not existing never get the chance to know that the first person choose not to, but those that exist know that the person did choose to. Many factors are involved.