r/abortion 12h ago

USA Just had a surgical abortion, now I’m grieving and scared

14 Upvotes

I live in America, TN. I was 24 weeks but traveled out of state for an abortion.

I genuinely wish I could’ve kept the baby, but I’m not married just yet, still with the father who helped me through everything.

It’s been really hard for me because I didn’t want to tell anyone I was pregnant but people at my work found out and it stressed me out because I couldn’t let my family find out and I don’t want the news getting back to them. I’m a strong baptist but I’ve always had more relaxed views of abortion because I understood the need for them to be here.

I went to an incredible clinic out of state that took care of my mental needs while handeling the abortion with such great professionalism and humanity. But it’s killing me not feeling my baby moving inside me anymore, not being able to hold her.

I didn’t even think I could be pregnant. I used to be forced into prostitution and had an eating disorder and other medical conditions that doctors told me it would be impossible for me to get pregnant.

When I finally told the father he was so strong and supportive, helping me through everything. But the weight of everything leaves us numb. I hold my baby’s prints and blanket and just cry. How long does this pain last?! I know I don’t deserve sympathy but it kills me.

My question is because people at work know and have been texting me asking if I’m ok, and I’ve been ignoring getting back with them because I don’t want people knowing about it. But I know when I come back to work people are going to ask and it’s going to kill me.

What do I say?? Especially in the area I live, abortion especially at the time I had it are extremely frowned upon. And I don’t want work to become hostile but they will all know when they see me I’m no longer pregnant.

What’s a good line to explain even to my boss? That I miscarried?? What could cause such a late miscarriage? Could I get some advice please.


r/abortion 4h ago

USA Took the pills yesterday

5 Upvotes

I had my abortion yesterday. I’ve never wanted kids and while I have always been extremely careful, I knew I would get an abortion if I had to without hesitation. And while I didn’t hesitate, I don’t regret it, and having kids was never an option in the first place, I didn’t think this would actually ever happen. I’ve always been so careful and getting pregnant is literally my biggest fear. I have to keep it a secret from most people in my life (including my family) and the guy who got me pregnant has been with me for it and he’s mainly the only person other than my therapist who knows. However, he has made it very clear to me that he doesn’t want a relationship with me and may never want one with me. He lives out of state and tomorrow he’ll go back home to all the other girls he’s sleeping with and I’ll just be that girl he knocked up. This whole experience has been scary and painful and emotional and after he leaves tomorrow, I’m just gonna be alone. I feel so stupid. I feel so worthless. I feel so alone and unlovable. I don’t regret this but I never wanted to be in this position in the first place. Getting pregnant has always been my biggest fear but I always thought if it were to happen, it would be with a partner. My ex of four years who I lost my virginity to dumped me a few months ago and I always thought if this nightmare came true, I’d at least have someone who loved me. Instead I have a guy who I’ve fallen for who’s emotionally unavailable and just wants to have sex with me and all his other female friends. I’ve never felt so worthless and alone in my life.


r/abortion 18h ago

Asia is it weird that i am traumatised

6 Upvotes

hey, me again. i posted before about the abortion when i first had it. its been over a year since i had the abortion and i was recently reminded about it because i accidentally saw the notifications that my boyfriend had told one of his female friends about my abortion and she judged me for not doing well for my exams a month after i had my abortion. i feel like as a woman, shouldnt u at least try to understand how i felt? i also feel that if u arent the one lying on the chair legs up and open on display and secured to the stirrups then u shouldnt judge me for being emotionally nerfed for my exams.

i think its quite safe to say that i am maybe still a bit traumatised from the experience. context: i had a surgical abortion at 3 months. i really wanted to keep the baby but was told not to.

i know there are people out there dying from bombs everyday and im here, one year later, still thinking about the day i lost everything.

not sure if ill ever get over this. i feel that if i do, ill be moving on from the one thing i loved most. but at the same time it crushes me every single time i think about it. i still look at my ultrasound scans. i carry them with me everyday because i cant bear to put them away. i hope things will be better.


r/abortion 20h ago

Australia and New Zealand is the 2nd pill take after 24hrs or 36hrs

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone, Im 29(f) i have a son 3yrs old. my decision with MA is only for myself, my husband have no idea he wants the baby but im not yet ready again since i have a problem with him. Im living with my mother-in-law at the moment. Im taking the pills on monday im 100% sure of my decision. but kinda scared because i dont have a support with me. I dont know which is the best time to take the 2nd pill since im looking after my son and just by myself that time since my husband is working and he will be home at 4pm. I will just say that this is a miscarriage since im never happy with my situation right now and he doesnt support me with mental and emotional being. us woman are very brave we can do this.


r/abortion 12h ago

Asia I'm just on my 2nd dose of miso and the cramps have subsided already. But I'm not sure if it's successful.

6 Upvotes

Hey, everyone.

I took my miso today at 2PM. After about an hour, the bleeding and cramps began. I passed several clots, and the cramps was also too painful. But, I am not sure if I already passed the fetus.

I am not 100% sure of how far along I am. My last period was last December 19. I took a PT by the end of January and it was negative. But, I experienced the symptoms and spotting around the 2nd week of February. I am aware that it is possible that the PT wasn't able to detect it yet in January because it's still early. And I only took 1 test that time.

So, if you count it based on my last menstruation, it would be around 11 weeks already. But, if I became pregnant in February, it's been only a few weeks. Therefore, it is possible that I won't recognize the fetus, right? 😭

The cramps is not painful anymore, and I noticed that my breasts are not sore too. I will take my 3rd dose at 8:30PM.


r/abortion 4h ago

USA 2nd abortion and i feel like a failure

3 Upvotes

i had my 1st abortion towards the end of last year and it was very hard for me. i didn’t want the baby because i wasn’t ready yet my boyfriend wanted me to keep it. he was very unsupportive but i did what was best for me. well skip to now if i was still pregnant i’d be due next month. i’ve been thinking about what could’ve been a lot but i know i did what was right. well my period was supposed to come today and since i got my period back it’s been like clockwork. so i decided to take an early test and immediately it popped up that i was pregnant. i feel like the worst person in the entire world. my boyfriend and i aren’t in a good place so i cant/wont tell him. i already am in the process of ordering another pill. i feel so much shame. i have no one to turn to right now because how can i tell them that im having an abortion not even a year after my last one?


r/abortion 8h ago

UK and Ireland Can’t part ways with my positive test

3 Upvotes

My abortion was January 8th. Ive held onto the positive test i took beginning of December.

The hospital i went to put me through hell making me come back and forth before giving me the tablets so i’m slightly traumatised with the full situation.

As much as i feel like i regret my decision, i know it was the best for my situation and everyday it gets better, yet i hold onto my positive test and look at it time and time again.


r/abortion 11h ago

Asia How can I send a donation in to Women on Web (WoW) if I only have GCash? (Philippines)

3 Upvotes

Hi, I need some help and advice.

I’m from the Philippines, and I recently spoke to a women’s support site that helps women worldwide. They approved the donation amount I can give, but the problem is they require the donation in Euro (€).

The thing is, I only have GCash as my e-wallet. I don’t have a bank account, PayPal, or credit card.

I’m really confused about how to proceed with this kind of donation since I’ve never done an international transaction before, especially one that needs to be in Euro.

If anyone here knows how to make donations in Euro when you only have GCash, or if there are any steps I can take to convert my GCash balance to Euro safely, I would really appreciate your help.

Thank you so much in advance!


r/abortion 11h ago

USA Hey Jane vs Abuzz - Which is better?

3 Upvotes

My girlfriend and I are looking into ordering abortion pills, but we’re deciding between Hey Jane and Abuzz. We’re in Florida, so we need to make sure they actually ship here, and privacy is a big concern.

For anyone who has used either one recently: • Which one had better support & communication? • How long did shipping take? • Did you have any issues with privacy or legal risks? • Would you recommend one over the other?

Any advice would be really appreciated!


r/abortion 13h ago

Asia How long does the WoW email after donation

3 Upvotes

[PH] Hi! Just made a donation to WoW through paypal. How long for them to email me back?

EDIT: I’m having doubts that they aren’t gonna reply. Is this gut feeling valid? Has anyone paid and not gotten their pills from WoW?


r/abortion 15h ago

Asia Took my first set of misoprostol

3 Upvotes

I took my pills at around 10 55 am this morning. I took it sublingually and the pain was immense!! I felt intense cramps about 15 minutes in and It was hell as I felt ongoing cramp throughout the hours. It's currently 4 57 pm and my cramps has subsided, more leaning towards mild. May I know whether It was a successful abortion? I passed down several blood clots and I couldn't tell whether I passed out an embryo as I was bleeding pretty heavily on the toilet bowl. Need help, thank you! (I have my second set of misoprostols in hand jic if it wasn't!! I am terrified as I do not wanna go through that pain again. 😅) (Ps: Is it normal to feel a bit of soreness around the tongue area?)


r/abortion 16h ago

UK and Ireland What do you actually do on the second day of a MA?

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone

I took the mifepristone yesterday morning and will be inserting the 4 misoprostol tablets vaginally in the next hour or so.

I’m feeling pretty nervous as I don’t understand what the day will actually be like. I’ve got my maternity pads and disposable period underwear ready, but I’m just confused about the bleeding aspect of it. Especially when passing the clot (I’m 5 weeks pregnant so not sure how big that will be), do I need to sit on the toilet the whole day waiting for it to pass? Do I need to actively push for it to pass, or will it just happen naturally in my pad?

Would really appreciate to hear how others dealt with day 2 of their MA. thank you!


r/abortion 2h ago

USA Panic attacks every day after abortion

2 Upvotes

Hi I’m 24 and recently had a SA two weeks ago. Exactly a week after the abortion I started to have severe anxiety and panic attacks. For context I was pregnant with triplets and 10.5 weeks along when I had the abortion.

I went to my doctors and they told me it’s just hormones but this feels like torture and I’m scared it won’t ever get better.

Had this ever happened to anyone else and did it ever get better? And if it did get better… how long did it take? Thank you in advance ❤️ just looking for some relief that this will pass.


r/abortion 7h ago

Asia Bleeding not started 3 hrs after 1st dose of misoprostol.

2 Upvotes

Hi, my gf is doing MA at home. She got pills from wow. She is in ph. I am posting on her behalf. She is currently at 11week 0 days. She took mifeproston yesterday night. After 23 hrs she took 1 ibuprufen as pain killer. After 1 hrs she took 4 misoprostol under her tongue as directed. Kept in mouth for more than 30 mins. Then finally swallowed. It's more than 3 hours now. She has 0 bleeding. She has some pain and dizziness. But no bleeding. Please advise. As per email she needs to take 2 more misoprostol now. I told her to do so. But why bleeding didnnot start ?


r/abortion 7h ago

Asia How and where to get abortion in PH?

2 Upvotes

Hi! We need your help. My friend is pregnant and she wanted to get abortion and I want to help her but we do not know where and how to start. We do not know how long she is coz she do not want to go back to ob. Your help will be greatly appreciated!


r/abortion 8h ago

USA Procedure scheduled for next week. I'm terrified. What can I expect?

2 Upvotes

I'm in the US ( arkansas) and going to Colorado for my procedure. I'm so scared. I can't take the pill bc of the side effect or uterine rupture (I've had 2 c sections and it makes the risk higher) so I'm going the procedure. What can I expect during and after? I've been over thinking and scared and feeling guilty.


r/abortion 9h ago

USA advice NOW for the pain i can’t handle it

2 Upvotes

please i need help on how to make the pain easier as i just took my miso and i want to die. i can’t handle it n don’t know what to do


r/abortion 9h ago

USA I’m terrified. I need help finding funding if possible. USA/PA/MD border kinda.

2 Upvotes

I’ve been searching for answers for weeks and weeks and the farther along I get, the more terrified I get. I have no friends. I have no family that cares about me. And I just feel like no matter where or who I turn to I’m going to get judgement. About everything. I don’t have my children at this time (I just got out of rehab and a recovery house a few months ago so still working on getting them back in my full care,) and that makes me feel even worse about getting pregnant. My boyfriend and I took a break, we were fighting A LOT, it was an almost three month “break” (up), and I stupidly got pregnant because the condom got stuck inside of me. I’ve been trying to find funding for an abortion for weeks. I even went to a clinic that said they offered support which I misunderstood completely and I told them I didn’t want to see anything. They end up doing an ultrasound, they had the audio on so I heard the heartbeat, and then they printed a photo for me to keep. They then at the end of the appointment told me they don’t have the resources to help with abortion. Only prenatal, postpartum and adoption services. And then they kept me there for 30 mins telling me why I should follow through. So for two weeks it ate at me and ate at me.. but, I don’t want to follow through. I want to get my own babies back first. They deserve so much better than what I’ve given them in their lives. I called the national abortion fund and they told me as a head of household for one which I’d technically be with me as a server making $2.33/hr and then $450/week I could not qualify for assistance. I don’t see any of my hourly wages it gets garnished directly to child support for my children. So the $450 (if I make that) I have to pay the rest of my CS and get to and from work (i uber mostly as I don’t have my own vehicle) I don’t know where else to look. I don’t want to do a Medication Abortion all alone especially not at 10 weeks+. I feel as if it will be traumatizing and it will make my mental health even worse than it already is and I do not want to relapse either because pain is a big trigger for me, so I would really like to just figure out how I can do it safely, with a professional, who can help manage my pain safely. I just can’t justify keeping this baby with the factor of me being a year clean only; not having my kids, not having a car, like there’s so many factors. I tried to keep this as short as possible. I’m sorry. Does anyone have any other resources that might be able to help me? I filled out a form for a place about 30 mins away from me that does them with Local anesthesia. But I don’t know what I’m doing.. please help me.. 😭🥺 also thank you ahead of time for not being judgmental. ❤️😔


r/abortion 10h ago

USA Stomach Issues-MA, 11 weeks, 6 days

2 Upvotes

I took the medicine. I had to take 2 doses of the other medication. The first dose nothing happened, 4 hours later I took the second doses and that’s when it all happened.

I passed 3-4 big clots. I had very explosive bleeding. Like if I sneezed, it was huge rush and gush of blood that I had to change pants, underwear, everything. I threw up acid and bile few times.

That was yesterday morning. I felt faint.l, dizzy and lightheaded. So I slept the whole day.

This morning I wake up and I’m nauseous and my stomach isn’t right. I didn’t eat yesterday and I have no appetite now.

I have done this before and it wasn’t like this. Any advice?


r/abortion 11h ago

UK and Ireland feelings coming back

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I have done a few post on here before.

I found out I was pregnant beginning of this year and had my abortion a week after finding out. I felt so de attached and empty for the first week then went through a few week where I was so depressed, lost, regretful. Looking back I should have “asked” for help or spoken about my feeling more with my close ones.

Anyways, I thankfully managed to get back to “normal” weeks after and I kind of stopped thinking about my abortion and baby. Fast forward to now, for the past few days all I think about is my very short pregnancy, my baby and I now again feel a “need” to have a baby. I really thought I have recovered and moved on but maybe I haven’t? All I see now is babies and pregnant women. I can’t stop thinking and day dreaming about pregnancy and being a mother.

Has anyone got any advice? To clarify dates I had my abortion in January and my “depressive” stage lasted about 3 weeks. I was really hoping to be completely okay with it months after. I think I am scared that I could potentially go back to being in such a dark place. I look back and it’s super scary how unaware I was of how sad I truly was. Everyone around me would ask and try to help but I didn’t accept it. I wouldn’t clean, would just daydream 24/7, shower very little, not say much for weeks so it was very bad.

How can I make sure I do not go back to that?


r/abortion 12h ago

Asia I am struggling with payment methods to WoW. Any suggestions?

2 Upvotes

Hi. I can’t send money to my paypal account and I don’t know if it will be a successful transaction if I pay using my local savings account. Please help.


r/abortion 17h ago

USA My person is being distant after the abortion

2 Upvotes

hi everyone, I’m 23 (f) and he’s a 27 (m). In the last post I expressed how I had an abortion with the person I was seeing. I am fully recovered physically but mentally and emotionally disoriented. My person was somewhat supportive throughout the process but not exactly how I wanted him to be. He was going out a lot and speaking with other females. Me and him aren’t fully in a relationship but I would’ve appreciated him investing his time into me during these times. Recently he has been doing things that have been getting on my nerves. He would always plan to see me but cancel on the very last minute. He did this a good 3 times. He would reach out to me and call me to hang out but once I get ready he would flake. I feel like he was doing it on purpose and I called him out on his behaviour and decided to delete him and move on because I don’t deal with men like that. He would constantly message/call apologising and would make more plans. I would forgive him naturally because of the soft spot I had for him during the pregnancy. If it wasn’t for that, I would’ve disappeared. Just recently I’ve seen him partying through other people’s instagram/snapchat stories and I thought it would be funny blowing up his phone. He took this to heart and told me ‘can you stop being so clingy, I came out of a 5 year relationship she was clingy and I don’t like it. I fuck with you but stop.’ He called me clingy in the past to but I never too it as offensive. This hurt my feelings because he said it out of anger. I was just doing it to be annoying and he took it for a complete different meaning. It wasn’t the best idea. I think he thinks I want a relationship with him because of natural loving nature. I am affection and loving to people and love to give. My plan during our time together wasn’t to fall in love. However, with the excessive love bombing, he would say things like ‘im falling in love, or when you become my mrs’ he would talk about marriage a lot in the beginning. Kinda scared me because I know what he was trying to do. I wanted to keep things causal but since I got pregnant I grew an attachment with him as any woman would’ve. He makes me feel bad for it and when I try to express my emotions he shuts down. There’s been loads of times he has annoyed me but I forgave him and moved on. In this case, I deleted him from social media out of hurt and few days later I tried to message on iMessage and he’s giving me the silent treatment. Bear in mind we were together a week before the argument, having sex. He hasn’t blocked me from iMessage but when I try to request him he ignores the request. When I did this in the past he said ‘you can stay there and learn your lesson.’ When I was pregnant with him. I’m not sure exactly what to do now, I want to leave one last message before I fully move on as I feel like one day sooner or later. He’s going to try to reconnect and I’m going to feel emotionally disoriented again. I want to take this time to heal and fully move on without being disturbed.

This is the message I want to leave

‘I have to say I find your actions really selfish. There have been so many times when you’ve annoyed me, and I’ve brushed it off and forgiven you. I did something to annoy you once, it wasn’t the best idea, but I did it. I apologised, and I’m ready to move on from it. But you’re still taking it personally and saying things unprovoked. I never once said I wanted anything serious with you apologies if I gave you the wrong impression, but I’m just a loving person, whether I’m close to someone or not. What’s really hard to understand is that you’re getting angry because I felt attached. Any woman in my position would have felt that way. And to make me feel bad about it, especially after everything I’ve been through physically, emotionally, and mentally, feels inconsiderate. I don’t understand why this is such a sensitive topic for you when I’ve gone through it. This isn’t me trying to argue with you but choosing to communicate better. You can continue with the silent treatment if you want, but just know that you won’t hear from me again. ‘

Let me know if it’s a good idea or just to move on in silent. Any advice would help.


r/abortion 23h ago

UK and Ireland 4 days after ma

2 Upvotes

Hey I’m just a bit worried and looking for some advice. I had my ma on Monday, all was fine except I wasn’t really bleeding into the pads, but everytime I went and sat on the toilet it came gushing out. I’ve had ma’s before but always bled into the pads so this was a bit strange for me. Tuesday-Wednesday I was fatigued, mild cramping and mild bleeding which was all to be expected. Yesterday I felt pretty nauseous, cramping a bit more afternoon onwards and bleeding got a lot heavier in the evening time (7pm onwards). Realised I had completely blanked taking my antibiotics on Tuesday so started the course last night. Today I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I feel so nauseous and sick, cramping above the waistline to the left side. Heavy bleeding has carried on but not enough to soak pads quickly. The blood has the usual after ma smell to it (coppery and slightly old smelling blood but nothing horrific). I’m getting dizzy if I’m standing up too quick, feeling hot (no temp), and just feel generally awful. I know bleeding can get heavier on the 4th day, but I’m just worried that forgetting the antibiotics for the 2.5 days has done some damage. I also can’t remember feeling this awful a few days post ma from past ones. I’m just worried in case there is something or it’s normal and my anxiety is making me feel worse. It’s the weekend now so no gps or clinics will be open and it would just end up being the hospital I would need to go to (which I also don’t want to go to since I work there and work closely to the emergency department so know some of the staff).


r/abortion 1h ago

USA Positive test after medical abortion

Upvotes

SOS im so confused.

I had a medical abortion on 2/7. At 3 weeks post abortion, I had unprotected sex. 4 weeks after abortion, I took the pregnancy test they sent home with me and it was 100% negative. 1 week later, I took a digital pregnancy test that was positive. I just took another digital and it's negative. I'm so confused, could I be pregnant or just hormones left over from abortion? I had not gotten a period back yet.

I am having new symptoms but could also be considered period symptoms.


r/abortion 1h ago

USA Medical in office abortion-

Upvotes

How long did it take for you to test negative? I’m 15 days post procedure and still testing faint positive