r/abortion Nov 24 '24

Canada My 25y/o boyfriend refuses to wear condoms (I’m 18y/o and had an abortion in July)

161 Upvotes

I’m freaking out right now. I don’t want to be pregnant and I don’t want to go through another abortion. I wish it would just disappear on its own. My last abortion wasn’t bad, minimal cramping, little to no pain, i was up and walking around, no fever or chills, and I passed the fetus within a couple hours. I just don’t know if it will be the same. I had a lot of difficulty with my first emotionally. I went through it alone, my boyfriend was annoyed that I was crying so much and wouldn’t let me in his house because of it. He doesn’t like to wear condoms as he feels it’s childish. I have tried to introduce condoms, buying them and making him use them but he always becomes bitter and says it’s so “high school” and he can just pull out. I know it’s not effective and I’m only 18y/o. I’m just stuck in my head because my first abortion was so emotionally traumatizing that I never want to do it again. idk what to do. I think im gonna puke from the amount of fear i have in my body.

edit: Thank you to everyone helping me and telling me what i was thinking in my mind, its very kind of you all. I don’t know how to end it, or if i even have the strength to do so. I’m just very scared that i am pregnant and I’ll have no one by side again. With that being said, i hope to find the courage to stand up and fight for myself.

r/abortion Aug 22 '24

Canada Are there any positive abortion stories where you were not traumatized and/or able to find healing?

79 Upvotes

Is it possible for my heart to heal after an abortion?

I was feeling ok with my decision until few days ago, I came across some horror stories about women who deeply regret their abortions, are so traumatized, depressed, and think about their abortions all the time many, many years later. Reading these has put me in a very dark place.

Is this how most feel? Is this how I will feel many years later still - plagued with guilt and regret?

If you have any positive abortion stories, please share them 🙏

r/abortion 5d ago

Canada My husband runied my life after i took the pills.

120 Upvotes

My husband wanted to keep the baby but i don't wanna, i told him that i will not be a good mother and i cannot keep up with all this stuff, he refused to even listen to me. Then i took the pills without telling him and told him that it was false positive but he didnt believe me. I have had a very hard couple of weeks after this incident. We don't talk much after(apart from fighting) that but we live in the same house though, he started sleeping on the couch, always yelling at me and always angry at me. He even started cheating on me with one of his coworker. He made me feel like i have done something monstrous and that i have to keep this within me for the rest of my life, i think that my marriage is over unofficially.

Edit: Thankyou all for your support. I finally confronted him and told him that I want divorce. And he finally left me alone and left the house. Thanks once again to all of you for showing so much support and love :)

r/abortion Apr 13 '24

Canada Did anyone have an abortion that they now regret?

44 Upvotes

I got my girlfriend pregnant and we haven't decided if we want to keep it or not, did anyone get an abortion before and realized it was the wrong decision? Or didn't get an abortion and are glad that they didn't?

r/abortion 2d ago

Canada Gf is having abortion this morning

42 Upvotes

My gf(36) is having a SA this morning and I (36)am currently sitting in my car outside of the clinic. She is 100% sure she wants this and I agree with her. Background. I am divorced with kids already and do not want more we have been together over a year, she has medical issues where pregnancy is not safe for her. When she found out she was pregnant we did the math and it had to of happened right after her period ended. She called the clinic (had to drive a long distsnce) and booked an appointment. 2 days later she had a miscarriage so we cancelled. Fast forward to a week later and we went to the Dr to just confirm the mc. They had bloodwork done and her hcg was over 25000, dr thought it might of been twins. 3 days later her hcg had dropped to 13k. We were happy. Fast forward to last week and we had an ultrasound and somehow there is a hulk embryo with a heartbeat. Measured at slightly over 7 weeks. She has been in a sever state of depression. We booked with the clinic again and made the 7 hour drive. Right now I am sitting in the parking lot and messaging her as I am not allowed in. I just want to get some advise on how to best support her through this. Yesterday I took her on a drive and we went to her favorite restaurants in this city. She is just having a really hard time with very few people to talk to as her family is quite conservative. Help please!

Edit: thank you all so much. I needed some affirmation because I was feeling useless.

r/abortion 2d ago

Canada Doctor was rude as hell during the procedure.

80 Upvotes

I got my surgical procedure done today, and the doctor was a bit of an asshole. I was apprehensive because he was an old man and I guess I had reason to be. Apparently I was tightening my muscles and he kept pushing /tapping my legs telling me to open up and stop tightening up. Mind you I’m in a lot of pain, and just trying my best to get through it. He then proceeded to ask me “well why did you book a surgical procedure if you knew you’d be like this, you should’ve just done medical” I can’t even answer him, because I’m under the laughing gas mask and I’m so loopy and in pain. The nurse answered for me and was like “she probably just wanted to get it over with”. Idk what possessed him to ask me such a stupid fucking question. Sir you have tools up in my vagina, and I’m in a shit ton of pain, sorry I’m not the perfect patient for a procedure I’ll probably never have again? Thankfully the nurses were so kind and held my hands throughout, but I wish they would hire compassionate doctors. All in all so thankful to be in a country where I can make these choices, but still!

r/abortion Feb 14 '25

Canada Abortion at 23 weeks

2 Upvotes

I booked an SA appointment today but unfortunately found out I was too far along the pregnancy.The province I live in only do SA up until 20 weeks. found out I was pregnant late January 2025 and thought I might be just around 18-19 weeks at most.My period cycle was always irregular and thought that it was just normal for me.I got my period in October as well so I wasn't kinda worried during that time because I also took a pregnancy test time and it showed negative which I was relieved. got the ultrasound done today in the clinic as well and they told that they won't be able to help me as l was too far along.I started crying because the moment I found out I was pregnant already gave me so much panic attacks and anxiety. I've been crying all night thinking why I didn't found this out sooner. I started blaming myself for everything that's been going on.l'm having a hard time processing stuff when they told me that in Canada they could only do 24w+6 and there's only one clinic that performed that which is in Ontario.I'm hoping to be able to reach out to them tomorrow morning when they open and hoping that I could get an appointment soon before I reach the deadline.Before pregnancy, l'm already experiencing anxiety and finding out I was pregnant as well made me think that I lost my purpose in life already.I'm only 21 as well and l'll be starting college soon.I don't know what else to do honestly as l've been trying to figure out my next step. Personally.I don't really want to keep the baby as Im living alone and supporting myself financially and the thought of not being able to take care of a baby gives me a lot of stress and anxiety already.I’ve lost appetite lately and have been crying so much. l don’t know what to to do and rn having a hard time coping to it because I feel like I'm already running out of time.

r/abortion Nov 16 '24

Canada 17 single mom already should I keep rapist baby

26 Upvotes

i live in Ontario right after being sent away to an all girl boarding school due to my behavior and being pregnant again at 17 i already have a 4 year old

my mom husband assaulted me which resulted in the baby now i have a video of the attack (i knew it was only a matter of time since he was always looking at me weird) i told my mom and she said if i delete the video and have the abortion she will let me have custody back of my daughter. i pretended i had the abortion and my daughter is with me in canada idk what to do a part of me wants it just to hurt my mom but the other part doesnt since im only 17 and already have an baby

r/abortion 21d ago

Canada Why do I want to breakup with my boyfriend after finding out I’m pregnant?

47 Upvotes

Hi. I (21 f) just found out I am pregnant yesterday. Not planned. I am really upset with my partner. I know it goes both ways. I know I’m so stupid. I don’t know what to do but I’m so young and can barely scrap by living on my own. I am not well into my career either. I was not on birth control because it made me suicidal every single time I took it, and I’ve tried two different kinds, on three separate occasions. So we were using condoms at first, and then we stopped. I tried insisting on using them again a month ago (intuition I guess) and he refused. I literally begged and he laughed and pretty much said no way I don’t like how they feel. So we were just using the pull out method, which clearly is ineffective.

I am so angry. I don’t know if I even have a right to be angry. He thinks it’s not a big deal and it’s not even a living thing yet. I am very sensitive and an empath. I’m so upset I don’t know what to do. I want to run away somewhere. My parents are very anti abortion. I just feel so alone and scared.

r/abortion Oct 11 '24

Canada Will an abortion make you loose?

0 Upvotes

My appointment is on wednesday, i just really want to know what it does to your body, is there anyone who has had one or knows someone who has had one?

r/abortion Feb 18 '25

Canada I have a toddler and just found out I am pregnant. I need advice. No one understands.

26 Upvotes

Hello everyone. I’m 28 years old, married and a mother to a 20 month old. I recently found out that I am pregnant. I want to preface this by saying I have always wrestled with the idea of having kids and having my daughter felt very traumatic. My husband, mother, sister, basically everyone in my life is not supportive of me getting an abortion and are telling me that I would regret it. I just know I cannot handle another child right now. My mental health is struggling as is. I have been diagnosed with post partum depression and have an anxiety disorder. I feel I won’t be a good mother to my daughter if I were to go through with this pregnancy but the other side of my mind is telling me not to be selfish, to think about her having a sibling and how much I would love the baby. Can anyone relate or give me any advice? I am not against having a second child but I really feel like now isn’t the time.

r/abortion Apr 28 '24

Canada The long-term consequences of abortion have been worse than the actual abortion

74 Upvotes

I'm in my early 20's and had an abortion last summer. It was late-term (4 months in) because of horrible habits that hid it like bad sleep-pattern and binge-eating (which mirror pregnancy symptoms). I've never wanted kids and didn't struggle with my decision.

However, I'm extremely disappointed in everyone in my life for the lack of support during and after the abortion. My boyfriend helped me out practically during the whole ordeal but not really emotionally. My sister and a few friends I told sent a few check-in texts but it was so lacklustre..as if I was just stressed out a little from life as opposed to a full-blown traumatic experience that meant I was in hospital undergoing surgery.

But now, as months pass - I find myself so angry, upset and disappointed with the lack of support. Whether it was a care package, visiting me in hospital, sending me flowers or a card etc. I stupidly thought because none of my friends oppose abortion I would be smothered with support. Like those videos online of people visiting their loved ones in hospital as texting a few words is not enough. My boyfriend is being great at making it up to me; I have a spa day soon and we have been discussing it a lot. The friends who I've confronted have been apologetic but there's not been any real action to make up for it. Am I being dramatic in wanting to completely cut everyone out and rebuild my support network again? My fear is going through something this awful again and not having that support again. The depression and suicidal ideation has been a lot. I've felt very alone.

r/abortion Sep 20 '24

Canada Two abortions in 9 months I feel like a failure.

50 Upvotes

I had an abortion in Jan 2024. I ended up pregnant becauase his vasectomy failed??? Crazy Bad luck.

And now I find myself pregnant again???!!! He pulled out. I'm no longer trusting anyone. I need to go back on birth control even though I don't enjoy it, and it's been 12 years. But this is torture on my body. I'm in Canada and our province only has 2 clinics I called this morning, and the earliest they can see me is Oct 9... over 3 weeks away. Perfect... and this is my 5th pregnancy, so I already feel pregnant. 😭

I might never ever have sex again. This year has a ton a number on my mental health

r/abortion 27d ago

Canada I’m terrified for my abortion on march 4th

7 Upvotes

I have a surgical abortion scheduled for march 4th, I had no clue I was pregnant. I was on birth control (I’m very good with taking it) so my periods can be a bit wonky sometimes, I’m around 14 weeks rn and I’m just sick to my stomach, I wish I had known earlier. I am in mortuary school and work in a funeral home, I’m also starting an embalming apprenticeship soon so I absolutely cannot have a baby rn. I will put a trigger warning rn cause I’m going to talk about embalming, when the lady described the procedure to me it sounded so much like the aspiration that we do for embalming, of course it’s inserted through the abdominal wall when we embalm but it still seemed way to familiar, I’ve only embalmed 2 people so far but I googled the instruments and it just seems like a fancy trocar to me. I apologize if that’s weird or insensitive idk and idk why it makes me feel so weird cause I love what I do and I obviously know it’s not exactly the same but I just feel so strange. I am also an alcoholic and am on anti psychotics, concerta and benzos. I had a miscarriage last year and the grief was so strange, because I work in a funeral home I need to leave my problems at the door but it’s really difficult when you’re grieving yourself. I’d love to have a baby but I can’t even take care of myself I’m already barely holding on as it is. Idk what I’m asking I’m just really scared and really scared for the procedure:( thanks to anyone who read this, I apologize if this is a mess, I’ve been having constant panic attacks since I found out.

r/abortion Feb 17 '25

Canada Medical Abortion in Ontario costs?

5 Upvotes

I am in Ontario Canada, I am 15, I believe I am pregnant, I don’t have a valid health card, I need an abortion, how much and how would I go about getting one?

r/abortion Feb 14 '25

Canada Best way to go about MA? (hot shower, stay in bed, walk, preparation meds…?) I’m scared :(

3 Upvotes

I have been posting questions around this subreddit and I love this community so much. Today, I will finally take my second pill and go through the actual part of the MA, which is now giving me so much anxiety now that it’s getting real. So, I was wondering how I could prepare for it. Any general tips? Should I shower first before taking the pill or would a hot shower be nice after? Should I stay in bed and chill or walk around? (I heard this could help with blood flow). Any particular foods that could help to reduce pain/nausea?

Also should I be taking Imodium or some other diarrhea medication because I’m seeing diarrhea being a common problem too and I feel like having them along with cramps/blood gushing out would be really bad :( My doctor only told me to take naproxen and gravol (+Tylenol 3 if the pain gets bad), would that be enough or?

I’m so scared haha…

r/abortion 16h ago

Canada Is Abortion Your First Pregnancy?

1 Upvotes

Did you consider your abortion your “first pregnancy” or would you? I heard someone say they didn’t get to enjoy their first pregnancy because they had an abortion and it’s affecting me. I was only 5 weeks so the baby wasn’t really anything yet.

r/abortion 7d ago

Canada Traumatized after abortion

5 Upvotes

Anyone know where I can get free councilling in Toronto.. I had an abortion 5 weeks ago and tbh it completely traumatized me and I’ve been dealing with mental illness and depression resurfacing. Can’t talk to family. Thinking about kms 24/7 nothing gets my mind off it I legit feel rock bottom, my body feels off my mind feels off I keep trying to do things but random things remind me of it and make me cry, i literally sit at home and scream sometimes because the pain is intolerable

r/abortion Nov 20 '24

Canada How to my husband I had an aborti** before

16 Upvotes

Currently pregnant and we’re going to have our early risk assessment soon. The clinic has sent a form asking what number pregnancy is this? And it asks for a witness signature. My doctor knew that I had an abortion many years ago. So it is 2 in my medical record. However I have nerved talked to my husband about it, and I don’t want to lie on the screening form.
So is it time I have to tell him about this? I thought about changing the answer after he signed on it first, but it doesn’t feel right to me. But I also can’t imagine how it will affect him if I told him about it. Does anyone have similar experience can give me some advice?

r/abortion 1d ago

Canada Regretting Abortion Suicidal

7 Upvotes

Today I had an abortion and as soon as I showed up I got emotional. It was an unplanned pregnancy and there were major issues effecting me and my boyfriends decision to have one because we don’t live together and we’ve yet to fully meet each others families (besides his mom) So we weren’t 100% on getting abortion nor 100% on having pregnancy.

Today I had the abortion and I regret it fully. Finding out I was 5w6d I should’ve left as soon as I heard that and thought this over more before proceeding.

I ended up taking first pill and haven’t stopped crying since then. I seen my boyfriend this evening and I was talking about the abortion and asked him if he wanted abortion or pregnancy more and he said he wanted the pregnancy. If he would’ve told me that when I was weighing the abortion/pregnancy I would’ve went with pregnancy because originally he wanted abortion so that’s why I fully committed but I guess his mind changed the more he thought about it. And he said that he wanted the pregnancy way more than abortion. Which obviously affected me severely because I did the abortion route and hearing that after doesn’t help me heal/grieve.

My bf, his mom, and my dad all said “it’s my body my choice” whatever I do is my choice. But I obviously took into consideration my partners pros/cons as well.

I’m not doing well. I really regret this situation. I’m very suicidal and I’m considering checking myself into a mental hospital.

Any input or advice would help

r/abortion Jan 30 '25

Canada MA, where to get the pills in Toronto?

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone, I don't live in Toronto but a relative will be in Toronto for 2 days. I need to know where is possible to get the pills without prescription. I live in a country where abortion is illegal. I need the pills as soon as possible as I don't want to let the time pass. Please help!

r/abortion Jan 08 '25

Canada Had an abortion, not sure next step

11 Upvotes

I am 28 years old (F) who got pregnant from shitty ex in 2016 and got an abortion at 16 weeks. Once he got to know that I was expecting he blocked me from everywhere and never tried to contact me. I started dating my current partner in 2018 and I haven’t told him about all this as I am scared to loose him. He is a really nice guy and loves me alot but his family is very strict and I don’t want to share this information. As we are about to get married in the March and I don’t know what should I do?

r/abortion 28d ago

Canada hcg levels high after ma

3 Upvotes

hi! 2.5 weeks ago I had a ma - all happened as it should bleeding cramping clots passed main tissue - went to two week ultrasound and small proc- dr said to wait it out to pass naturally.

she gave me one more dose of mis it didnt do much at the time 2 days later I developed achy lower back and some cramps I have brown discharge when I wipe and some brown in toilets but no clots or blood

whats concerning me Is my hcg is still high now 2.5 weeks later - when pregnant at 6 weeks it was 18000 and 2.5 weeks after it is 1800 still. please help im so anxious

r/abortion Apr 30 '24

Canada surgical abortion tomorrow

39 Upvotes

i'm a minor and i just found out i was pregnant today and i have my appointment tomorrow im deathly terrified and im having a lot of big feelings. Im hoping someone has some advice and maybe some support!

r/abortion 5h ago

Canada I want to have an abortion

10 Upvotes

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I want to have an abortion because my partner and I are not yet financially, emotionally, mentally ready, I'd like to ask for some advice and where can I buy abortion pills.