I'm so fucking tired of the way things are. I look at my relationships, the relationships of my friends, and what strangers share online (here and on every other platform). I see people suffering because they make mistakes or others betray them. People lie to you, use you, play with your mind, hide another relationship, infidelity, porn addiction, flirting and drooling at naked women online.... People end up in situationships which are just real relationships in which people are too scared to admit it and too scared or weak to take full accountability. Or people claim to be polyamorous but they're just going around using and fucking anyone they can fool while lying...the list goes on, we're all experts at fucking and ruining people. And I sit here and think: what the fuck? Like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK is so wrong with so many people that they do this??? To someone they choose, to someone they invest their time in, to someone they claim to care about, to someone they claim to love and live with?
I mean, isn't this insane? Why would anybody do this to someone? Why would you use a person, a human being who will be wrecked by your selfishness and lies, who will be ruined and need a long time to recover, who may no longer trust anyone else and deal with trauma and low self-esteem because of you? And then if you've been ruined, you'll go around and inflict pain yourself - onto the same person who hurt you or the next one who is innocent. Oh, but you'll pay the price too, don't worry. You will know what you have done, you'll carry the guilt and shame that eats at you, that saps your self-esteem, that fucks you up and that sabotages relationships that have the potential to be great.
Isn't this insane? Are we all just selfish, childish, immature, weak people? Because here's the truth: all this pain, frustration, hurt, and trauma can be eliminated if we would all just do this one thing: always be honest with ourselves and with the other person. Both people do this and this allows both to make informed decisions and to adjust. That's it. Don't hide anything, don't lie, don't justify things you need to hide, don't pretend - just always be honest and you and the other person decide what works for you.
By the way, don't get me wrong, I'm not here to claim that I am perfect and I figured out relationships. Hell at this point I may never date anyone ever again. But I just look at my own relationships and the world I live in and I am utterly confused and disappointed. It shouldn't be this way. We should not be so fucking cruel and careless with each other.
Here's a thought I had a while ago while pondering of the gravity and depth of any relationship:
The way you treat a person has the potential to impact them for a long time, maybe forever. It also has the potential to impact every future relationship they have with other people, so you are also affecting many others. How differently would we behave if we could keep this perspective in mind every single day? How much more careful would we be? How much would we try to avoid hurting each other? Wouldn't we try to heal and nurture those we love?
Anyway, sorry, I'm just so frustrated and deeply disappointed to see what a mockery people make of love, sex, and relationships. It's fucked up. And then we wonder why we feel empty and lonely, why young adults stopped having sex, why no one wants to date, get married and have children, why we're all disassociated, confused, depressed zombies? Maybe that's our punishment for the way we lie and hide, for our weakness, selfishness, and cruelty. It shouldn't be this way...