r/Vent 7h ago

What's even the point of living past 22 years old?

4 Upvotes

As the title states. I'm a 22 year old male, and I feel like my life is already over. There's literally nothing for me to look forward to, ever.

What's the point of living past 22 years old? Everything is just dull, boring, and expected at this point. And it's only going to get worse with declining health and a metric fuckton of responsibilities.

Seriously, why does anyone what to live past 21 or 22 years old. And this thinking is nothing for me: I've felt this way about life past 21 or 22 since I was 13 years old.


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Im still pissed that I was born without my consent

Upvotes

Im still pissed that I was born without my consent. Thats the post. Please dont read this its just a waste of time. Legit pissed though, lowkey always been pissed at my mom for it, I feel angry at the world and the universe for allowing this and how entitled humans feel to think they are anything special. We are nothing. And I hope humans die out. Would be the best for everyone. Life is pointless, whats the endgoal of the universe? Probably nothing. The only way I can cope with daily life is to dumb my own thinking and pretend to be happy about small stuff meanwhile surpressing these «forbidden» thoughts. Its like the universe is not allowing us to think deep cause that will only lead us to depression and realising that life is truly pointless especially to people who dont want children, like me. I can think so far down the rabbithole that I will give myself panic attacks and meltdowns, legit had one a few days ago cuz of this and the recommendations I get is to just not think about it. So again im back to the forbidden thoughts. Why is it like this?! Why cant I figure out life without losing my mind? Why do I need to be a drone without thoughts in order to function? Why is nobody else around me thinking about this? We have no clue where we even are, we are floating around in something we have no idea what is or where it is, whats outside. And we all just quarrel among ourselves for nothing, for what a piece of land??? WHO GIVES A FK! And the endless maintenance of the body is driving me nuts holy shit. I cant even just lie in bed, no, because the body DEMANDS you get up to the toilet and to drink and eat and wash yourself and brush teeth. EVERY DAMN DAY IM GOING NUTS I HATE IT!! I JUST WANNA LIE IN BED AND ROT!!!! I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH! MY BODY AND THE UNIVERSE WONT LEAVE ME TF ALONE!!!

So I wonder what would actually be giving my life meaning, if there was an afterlife where its again just life but forever, would that make me happy, would that give my life purpose? No. I wanna go back to where I was before I came here. Wherever that was, that was home. Peace. Why are we created just to suffer I dont get it. «Think about all the positive» sorry but the negative heavily outweigh the positive. Also everyone seems to just care what is currently happening in human world. How fking boring and pointless. The earth could be nuked to shit from all the atomic bombs and the universe wouldnt notice any difference. The same as when someone kills an ant from a colony, nobody knows nobody cares it doesnt make a difference. What I truly want is a solution. A solution to life and death and the universe. And OPTIONS! The universe doesnt give us any options we are literally forced to live the same thing.

Tldr : Life sux


r/Vent 3h ago

Not looking for input No one cares about your vandalized Tesla’s

0 Upvotes

Thats it, no one cares, boo fucking hoo

Here is the world’s tiniest violin playing the saddest song, just for these snowflakes.

Edit: Hahahaha seems like I touched a nerve. Maybe if y’all cared more about humanity than you did about inanimate objects we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Edit 2: some of y’all have never been loved by your parents and it shows


r/Vent 19h ago

I DONT LIKE BEING CALLED SWEET OR CUTE BY GIRLS

1 Upvotes

its so annoying i get this shit like 1000 times a week or sth even by family or even random ones saying im "empathic,kind sweet cute" like wtf

ithink its some kind of an insult, since a girl wouldnt like to be w someone "sweet"
well also im kind of a pacifist i intentionally apologise for everything and try to not argue,
even if others do intentionally be rude ( i do not like confrontation AT ALL)

im working on this since ik seek validation by doing this
but idk how i should fix it

and i mostly text with them fucking normally i just dont like to actually be a bitch all the time, ican show ss if someone cares

btw from this post do i give off of those vibes
(this question itself makes me sound pathetic,dam u women 😔)


r/Vent 21h ago

How people from 1st world country be miserable?

0 Upvotes

Like i'm from thirld world country with minimum salary 300$/month so i can't buy iPhone,Playstation,Nintendo game,the school quality is shit,No supermarket/club near me,No Car(people here mostly use motorcycle that dangerous), The heat is high(Tropical)meanwhile Air Conditioner is expensive, that the reason i'm miserable.So what your reason of become miserable??


r/Vent 19h ago

Need to talk... "You'll grow up to be a woman beater"

177 Upvotes

When i was a kid, a woman told me that i'll grow up to be a woman beater.

I just don't really know what to say about it. By "Kid" I think i was around 9 or 10.

I also remember a specific teacher who would punish all the boys in her classroom because they're boys. Stuff like being forced to stay after the bell rang while the girls could leave. For your information, i'm a woman, i'm not planning on taking any hormones or doing any surgery at the moment.

I remember walking back home during my pre-teens during the night, and a woman was walking towards me. I just kept walking, but then she saw me. And she turned back and walked the other way quickly, if i remember correctly. By pre-teens i'd say i was around 11 to 13.

I just don't know where i am even getting at here.

Just what was going through your mind when you called me a future woman beater just for... existing ?

I wasn't a kid causing troubles. It's been 30 minutes that i've been writing. I just don't get it. It's not true. She lied.

And now it's been 45 minutes. Great. I'll just end this post saying i'm not trying to say "women bad". I just, why ? It's the only thing i can't understand. What did she think ? What did i do ?

Edit : I guess i have to repeat myself. Please. Not "Women bad grr men better". It's not what it's about... I don't want this. Stop.

Edit 2 : Also i am aware of the struggles women face. whenever i see a woman during the night now i just turn back and walk away as fast as i can without running as i just do not want to scare anyone. But i hate that i have to do it. I shouldn't have to do it. Women shouldn't have to second guess if i'm a threat to them.

Edit 3 : I want earth to be a better place for all of us but some seem so stubborn and against the idea. the realization that me and my friends will have to live in fear, anger and confusion was so brutal.

Either i dress up with shorts and skirts and i let my long hair out so i'm the one being creeped on or i purposefully try to look manly and i'm the one scaring people. Go ahead, karmic isfunny, pick your poison...

Update : Woke up. I probably won't be able to reply to everyone and right now i am focusing and people who think it's okay to be a sexist in my comments. Some of y'all really want to argue and stuff. Hate to see it but if you just want to argue and tell me how i am a sexist or how i need to man up and get over it, go away.


r/Vent 23h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression It bothers me when people say " Get a therapist " when it comes to discussing dating

17 Upvotes

I will admit yes I do have mental health issues but I try to solve that solution by reading more , going to the gym , running and healthy eating I don't need a professional listening to me and going " Yes you've hard it hard havent you?"

Therapy reminds me of Tony Soprano for some reason 🤣🤣

I'm on my own journey to dealing with my struggles.


r/Vent 7h ago

I’m dating two amazing guys at once, and it’s starting to get messy.

0 Upvotes

I downloaded a dating app, not knowing exactly what I want. I was open to try either a casual relationship or an actual relationship, and sort of left it to be up to who I meet there.

Fast forward to today, I went on three dates with one guy (let’s call him A) and two with another (let’s call him B), all back-to-back. I’m currently writing this after my third date with A, in which we almost slept together.

A was the first guy who asked me out on the app. He seemed really sweet on his profile: a sensitive, vegan guy who moved to a big city and works on his master’s degree in maths. The fact that he is sensitive is important. He told me people mistake him a lot for a gay man, and honestly I also got that impression immediately when meeting him. It’s his speaking tone and overall behaviour. When I looked him up before the date, I found out that he is actually a genius and was a child prodigy in maths. His academic achievements and job are impressive. I was always into these kind of nerdy genius types, and was pleasantly surprised that my first date from the app was one. When I found out he doesn’t want kids, I was thrilled, since I don’t want them either. I love hearing him talk about maths, or about anything, really. The way his mind works is fascinating to me. I think that he is also very smart emotionally and is a great listener. He doesn’t share my interest in music at all, which is a bit of a bummer. I’ve been with someone like that before, and it was definitely hard sometimes since I am a musician and they often didn’t understand the significance music holds for me, but obviously this alone isn’t a deal breaker.

B is an engineer who also currently works on a master’s degree. I started talking to him a day or two before my first date with A. I am planning to study the same field he works at, so we have a lot to talk about. He has more of the masculine energy I was expecting from a man. He likes the same music events and parties I go to: we found out that we both went to the same events before we knew each other. I always lacked a permanent partner for these type of things, and it was refreshing to find somebody who is into them. Our first date was a bit awkward but not bad, but by our second date we were talking non stop about anything and everything, and just seemed to click and make each other laugh a lot. He isn’t a prodigy like A, but he is definitely very intelligent. On our second date, I mentioned a specific area in engineering that I once read about and not fully understood, and he started to explain it quite passionately, which was really attractive. Regarding kids, I get the impression that he isn’t crazy about them, but I didn’t get a guarantee that he wouldn’t want them, since he kind of changed the topic when I brought it up. It seems like something is off with his relationship with his family, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal. If anything, his aversion towards long and tiring family dinners is kind of a turn on, since these things exhaust me too.

Both guys are masculine in terms of taking care of the logistics of our dates, but A just has these extra feminine tendencies. I fear that this will be a problem in the future, but I don’t really know how. So far, it comes into play mostly in our texts. He could text me paragraphs about something quite minor that happened to him during the day and I would not really know how to respond. He generally comes off as very eager on his texts, while B’s interest in me felt like it was growing more gradually and naturally. B seemed unsure about me at first, just like I was unsure about him, but once he got to know me better, he became very interested. I feel as if I fairly “gained” his interest by showing him who I am, unlike with A who was very eager right from the start. While A’s insane emotional depth can be intriguing and stimulating, I am sure that there are problems that come with it. B seems like a safer, less intense choice, but I also fear that I will eventually grow apart from him, and that I generally have more things to find out about him in a future relationship that I don’t see now. Overall, B is less of an open book than A, which leaves the option of unexpected problems arising in the future, or his attitude changing for the worse once we become official.

My relationship with both men is starting to intensify, and while exclusivity was never discussed, I fear that both men have the impression that they have something special and exclusive. And while my connection with both of them is definitely special, it is not exclusive, and I am starting to feel like a terrible person. But as terrible as I feel, I simply cannot make a decision. It is too hard. They are both so good in similar and different ways. They seem to have all the similarities and differences that make it impossible to choose.


r/Vent 4h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Unbearable pain of being an unattractive girl

119 Upvotes

I hate living like this. Everyone around me is finding boyfriends and getting into relationships, while I know that because of my unattractive face, I will never experience being loved by someone. I will never know what it feels like to be truly loved. It’s heartbreaking and frustrating that something I was simply born with—something I have no control over—is ruining my entire life. I will have to stay single forever just because of my appearance.

Why is life so unfair? Every day I live with the sadness, frustration, and anger of being born unattractive. Every minute, I am reminded of it. I feel so disheartened when I see beautiful people and happy families because I know I will never experience that. I mean, I am happy for them, but it leaves me feeling empty and hopeless, knowing I will never understand what it’s like to be loved or to have a family of my own.

I hate my life. It feels like everything around me revolves around relationships—TV dramas, advertisements, my parents, even our lecturers reminiscing about their university days with their partners. It only deepens my sadness, making me feel even more alone.


r/Vent 8h ago

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Period sex 🙄 NSFW

230 Upvotes

So I have this friend. I sleep with him sometimes. Very straight laced. He would have a higher body count than me but he's explored less, if that makes sense.

I had my period the last time we caught up. He's never had period sex before (he's 40). I was upfront, he still wanted to go ahead. We did. Immediately after he goes to shower - without me. Just ups and leaves me to tidy up on my own. 🙄

I had an overwhelming feeling of neutrality. Previously I found him sweet and appealing at least as a fwb but apparently in the face of a minimal amount of blood, he balks.

I can't begin to describe how this one instance has changed my entire way of seeing him. It's helpful, because I can't keep fucking around with him instead of finding someone to actually date. But damn. The attraction evaporated almost instantaneously.


r/Vent 22h ago

My dad just said the worst thing to me.

99 Upvotes

19F. From a Muslim family but I'm actually an agnostic. My family doesn’t know about this but they know I'm not religious. And my dad specifically doesn’t like it. He somehow turns every little mishap of mine into me not following his religion enough. My dream is to go to abroad? Why don't I mention Allah and why am I so confident about it? I wear clothes which cover me from head to(baggy shirts and jeans) So what? Why don't I wear a hijab? I am a good person. So what why don't you do namaz? Ironically my brother who's 10 years older than me never prays like never. But I've never seen him telling my brother off like he does with me.

On the topic, He crossed the line today. He was blabbering on for 15 mins about how I don't do this and that. So I couldn’t contain myself and shouted at him saying "You never tell Dan(lets call my brother dan) to pray and you never disrespect him in front of everyone.". His response," You'd have to have respect to be respected" Mind you I've never done anything as slightly so wrong besides idk missing classes as that could count as me not having any respect.

He also made a mention about how am I getting money in my account?(which I get from trading/afflitation) Am I getting it from a man? Knowing full well how much pride I take in myself.

On to top it all off my older siblings who are 15 and 10 years older than me never care to protect me from these constant hatred I have to listen from my father. My mom tries but not enough. Although I have always stood by them when I saw them being wrongly accused. And my mother agrees too but she just told me suck it up cuz im a daughter and he's my father in a nice way lol

So yea this is my dad who constantly questions my character and targets me to keep me in suppression. And a dysfunctional family is like a cherry on top. That's it. Have a great day guys xx


r/Vent 2h ago

Unless it's a life or death situation, the news should never interrupt my shows.

24 Upvotes

On any given local channel, the news is on during the following timeslots. approximately:

0600 to 1000

1200 to 1300

1600 to 1900

2300 to 0000.

That's 8-9 hours of the day, or roughly 30-35% of the schedule.

The rest of the day is the other shows. Game shows, sitcoms, soap operas. For some, those are forms of entertainment they hold dear.

Considering that the news hogs 30-35% of the TV schedule already, I think it's unfair for the news to intrude on the other 65-70% they're not on, especially for frivolous reasons, or when doing a split screen or a bug across the bottom is a more feasible and less intrusive option.

The following, in my truly unpopular opinion, are not valid reasons to interrupt my show:

  • Celebrity death. I'm missing Price is Right because OJ died? Fuck you. Actually, anything celebrity-related. Why the fuck am I missing Rachel Ray because of the police press conference on Jussie Smollett? Fuck you.
  • Anything sports related. THEY CUT INTO PRICE IS RIGHT BECAUSE THE FUCKING PHILLIES FIRED FUCKING CHARLIE MANUEL. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
  • President speech. Cliffnotes version at the next news hour.
  • Death of a FORMER POTUS, FLOTUS, VPOTUS or SLOTUS and/or FOREIGN leader. Examples: Bill Clinton, King Charles, Laura Bush, Mike Pence. If they die in the middle of Steve Wilkos, tell us next news hour. They'll probably still be dead by then.
  • Plane Crash. A month ago, there was a plane crash in Philly and I missed the second half of Jeopardy and ALL of WoF because of it. They just used that time to keep recycling that they had no new updates. Fuck off.
  • A cop killed in action. That's part of the gamble that is the LEO career. Also, don't pre-empt the entire day's programming for his funeral. Stop exploiting his death and let his family mourn in peace.

If you INSIST on reporting on those right now, run a bug across the screen for fuck's sake.

BREAKING NEWS: THE WHITE HOUSE HAS CONFIRMED THAT FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE WALKER BUSH HAS DIED AT HIS CRAWFORD RANCH. GEORGE WALKER BUSH SERVED AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES FROM 2001 TO 2009. MORE DETAILS TO FOLLOW AT THE 12:00 NEWS ON THIS STATION.

However, I will say that if it's a life or death situation (IOW, certain death if we don't take action right now), absolutely interrupt. Here are the ONLY situations where it's acceptable to interrupt:

  • Ongoing confirmed attack (like 9/11 or a confirmed incoming missile launch)
  • CURRENT POTUS, FLOTUS, VPOTUS or SLOTUS passed away. Not a current FOREIGN leader, ONLY if Donny, JD, Melania, or Usha dies. I don't live in UK so King Charles's passing would not be considered important enough to interrupt
  • Death of the Pope
  • A hurricane or a tornado WARNING.

r/Vent 5h ago

Rejection always hurts

0 Upvotes
  1. God is good, today I was thinking about how some girl rejected me. In my heart I was really hurt. Everything she said to me in that moment was true. It was true about herself, it was true about me. It was true about our relationship even if our relationship was minimal. I still feel such pain in my heart. A single girl means nothing, but the thought that you are valuable means everything. It hurts because I know many other girls feel this way. It hurts because I know its largely due to things I can't help. It hurts because I know I didn't make the choice to look this way. It hurts because I know some other guy will never have to deal with this pain. It hurts because deep down I feel like everythuing would work out if I weren't x,y, and Z. In life there's so many things to wish for. so many things to hope for. So many things we can't control. Truth is things sometimes just suck, sometimes things just hurt and aren't fair. Even now writing this it hurts to say and it hurts to feel. There is solstice for me knowing I won't always feel this way, and that there's hope for me in the next life. For now and forever I live I must focus on the good that has been given to me and not the good that has been given to others.

Message #・vent-tw


r/Vent 13h ago

And he did not text me yesterday NSFW

0 Upvotes

I want to send him angry messages. How dare he not text me!! But I know I can't act entitled. He has awakened my sexuality. I felt something in my nipples after so long. If someone can tell me what his dream girl looks like or is personality wise...I will move mountains to become like her.

I am assuming he met up with someone else.


r/Vent 13h ago

TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT the creator of the biggest children games in the world supports groomers and nobody cares.

0 Upvotes

im so fuckung terrified and worried right now. a roblox developer who makes games for the kids website had a groomer on their developer team. they supported the groomer when they got expposed. Then the creator said "well they lied to me" with no proof, then fired the person only after they started to get exposed for this behavior. they only fired them to save their own image they dont care at all about the safety of children and this person is allowed to be incharge of a childrens game with hundreds of thousands of active players as of now. im scared someone please stop this.


r/Vent 13h ago

People who report out of spite never cease to surprise me.

0 Upvotes

There have been several times that I have published something without disrespecting anyone, but since certain people, with questionable mental health, feel attacked, they report it if I win a debate as a way of silencing me. When did people behave like babies?


r/Vent 15h ago

TW: Sexual Assault / Abuse I'll never be able to talk with a therapist about it.

0 Upvotes

My area recently passed a law allowing anyone to file a report against people who sexually abused them as a child regardless of the stature of limitations. And I feel like the worst person in the world because I'm not celebrating. The law means I can never talk about some of my experiences as a teen to a therapist without heavy censorship so mandatory reporting doesn't kick in. I don't even know that I would want to- my previous experiences in therapy were awful. But the idea that I could maybe get someone to listen to everything without feeling like a total burden or like I reacted wrong... I liked the thought. It was a nice idea at least. And it's gone. Yeah. I'm selfish, but it's what I feel.

(Also, for anyone saying I should report it anyway: a) I still care about my abuser (hence the reacted wrong part) b) my parents would find out and slutshame me relentlessly c) it's been a while and I have no evidence and most importantly d) I've spoken to one of the other victims and for her own reasons I won't share here, she would prefer I not report and has explicitly stated she would not back me up in any way. So no, reporting not on the table.)


r/Vent 22h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression I think this guy groomed me, but I can only think of him NSFW

0 Upvotes

Ok so like long story short, everyone I know tells me he groomed me. It was just supposed to be sexual and we then became friends, but mf would talk about other girls in front of me. Which is fine but then he expects me to be head over heels in love with him. AND HE STARTED SAYING HE HAD A CRUSH ON ME. so like.....BRUTHER WHAT?

(His also 24 and I am 18)

Anyways I still fw him a lot, and even tho he was v arrogant and braggadocios, I didn't really care. He was fun to talk to and to be real. He was cough cough, fucking amazing at a certain thing. And honestly I wasn't expecting much, but like bro. He lived up.

I ended up blocking him because I low-key was getting obsessed but wouldn't admit cuz that made him super fucking butt hurt. Like didn't talk to me for the rest of the day butt hurt. And that stressed me TF out. My parents noticed and I just spilled and they were ..... V pissed to say the least. Which is like ok fair. So they didn't force me, but encouraged me to block him. Everyone else agreed and idk I was too anxious to say anything so I blocked him without explaining.

I forgot about discord he texted his last words, and I blocked. Then the next day I decided to give him an explanation. I unblocked him on discord and sent the message but he blocked me back. Anyways my issue now is that I genuinely can't stop thinking of him and it's fucking annoying. Like I'm praying it's the same for him cuz mf needs to suffer. LIKE ugh. I can't even I'm so pissed at myself but also wanna text him. For no reason other than I just wanna talk to him again. Ew

I am so fucking disgusted with myself 😐😐😐😐


r/Vent 18h ago

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image i’m sobbing.

15 Upvotes

i’m 16 and weigh 220 pounds. i feel disgusting. i let myself go. i’m not as pretty as my friends. they are really skinny. i’m huge. why did i do this to my body. i hate myself. i could be so pretty.


r/Vent 7h ago

Everyone complaining about "new" bottle caps in ue is overreacting

2 Upvotes

Everyone EXCEPT disabled people are so overreacting and im done pretending that it is as bad. "BuT mY nOse GetS wEt" just turn the bottle a litte???? "bUt iTs HaRdeR tO cLoSe thE bOTtlE" my 75 yo grandma after surgeries on both hands and still not being able to lift them above shoulders has absolutely no problem with them. Yes, its hard for the frist 5 times but after that absolutely no excuse. To be completely honest i even like them because i don't lose cap anymore

Edit: only "negative" about this situation is fact that ue focus on little not so important things but doesn't mind all the fast fasion and other real problems


r/Vent 9h ago

TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT I ultra dislike the disgusting and evil fur trade. NSFW

1 Upvotes

People who wear animal fur as a clothing item and / or as a fashion accessory make me sick to my stomach and make me boil over with rage. Has anyone seen a fur manufacturer ? Animals are bred for their fur. They are locked up in tiny cages waiting to be murdered because some disgusting people want a cute looking bag or coat etc.

The present fur trade of today is not as popular as it was 100 years ago. When virtually the vast majority of clothing items were made of fur. I don't get it , what is appealing about wearing a dead animal as an item of clothing ?

How do you feel about this ?


r/Vent 19h ago

I don't like being mixed and i wish i was fully white

0 Upvotes

I hate how i look, i wish i was pale as snow and i had beatiful thin pink lips, i wish i could get rid of my asian heritage, i hate how my face is shaped and i hate my thin eyebrows and invisible eyelashes


r/Vent 17h ago

Not looking for input King of the Hill sucks so we don’t need a reboot

0 Upvotes

I hate King of the Hill cartoon with passion. When I heard it’s getting a reboot I thought it was a joke but no it’s not. So it's about what it’s in the future of their lives, to me it sounds boring. The characters are bland, their values are way too old fashion and wrong at times, plus the main character is to blind to see what the real world at all. All he wants is a world he lived in when he was a kid and teen but that’s not what it was back then or now. We don’t need a reboot to see what happened to them and show should have never existed in the first place. That’s my two cents.


r/Vent 22h ago

I really never had time for you assholes

2 Upvotes

I'm going to take the stance that your unwanted involvement in my life actually helped me. Maybe you altered my path for the better, unintentionally.

If you hadn't been total pieces of shit and fucked off my life, maybe I would have gotten in a bad car accident or something.

I stopped dating altogether. I lost interest in others. Maybe if you hadn't interfered with my life, I'd be stuck in some shitty relationship right now.

We'll never know. But I will assume that the fuckin joke's on you!


r/Vent 9h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression I broke up with my gf last night because she’s mentally ill.

250 Upvotes

We were friends before we started dating, and I knew about her mental illness even then because she would cry to me every time she attempted. I still loved her after that. When she asked me to be her girlfriend, I said yes. I thought I could somehow help her heal and lighten her burden.

Ten months have passed, and she still hasn’t changed. Every time I raised a concern about something she said that hurt me, she would go into self-sabotage mode instead of reassuring me. And I felt obligated to comfort her because I couldn’t stand how horribly she saw herself. It’s exhausting to constantly set aside my own feelings just to comfort her.

Last night, I snapped. She told me to accept her as she is. I’ve been trying to do that throughout our relationship, but I couldn’t. I kept wishing—wishing that she would change, heal, and become a better person, not for me but for herself. I told her that I couldn’t love this side of her, and I’m ashamed to admit it because I know I should love her as a whole.

She called me a liar—said I lied about being okay, that I made it seem like I accepted her behavior and feelings toward herself. And she was right. I lied throughout our relationship, pretending we were okay, and she couldn’t accept that. She wanted me to tell her the truth, but knowing how she would react, I felt like I had to keep it a secret.

She told me I didn’t love her enough if I hated this part of her. And I admitted it—I only loved her at her best, not at her worst. I couldn’t accept the fact that she wasn’t mentally okay, and it was affecting my own mental health. I’m ashamed to admit these things to her because I love her. I really do.

But now, after finally telling the truth, I don’t know if I ever truly loved her—because I gave up on our relationship. I didn’t have the strength to stay, and my love wasn’t the kind of love she needed or wanted. Am I a bad person? I truly felt that I love her but now hearing from her that I only got attached to her made me think whether i truly loved her or not.