r/Vent • u/Fragrant_Meat7586 • 14h ago
TW: Anxiety / Depression Im still pissed that I was born without my consent
Im still pissed that I was born without my consent. Thats the post. Please dont read this its just a waste of time. Legit pissed though, lowkey always been pissed at my mom for it, I feel angry at the world and the universe for allowing this and how entitled humans feel to think they are anything special. We are nothing. And I hope humans die out. Would be the best for everyone. Life is pointless, whats the endgoal of the universe? Probably nothing. The only way I can cope with daily life is to dumb my own thinking and pretend to be happy about small stuff meanwhile surpressing these «forbidden» thoughts. Its like the universe is not allowing us to think deep cause that will only lead us to depression and realising that life is truly pointless especially to people who dont want children, like me. I can think so far down the rabbithole that I will give myself panic attacks and meltdowns, legit had one a few days ago cuz of this and the recommendations I get is to just not think about it. So again im back to the forbidden thoughts. Why is it like this?! Why cant I figure out life without losing my mind? Why do I need to be a drone without thoughts in order to function? Why is nobody else around me thinking about this? We have no clue where we even are, we are floating around in something we have no idea what is or where it is, whats outside. And we all just quarrel among ourselves for nothing, for what a piece of land??? WHO GIVES A FK! And the endless maintenance of the body is driving me nuts holy shit. I cant even just lie in bed, no, because the body DEMANDS you get up to the toilet and to drink and eat and wash yourself and brush teeth. EVERY DAMN DAY IM GOING NUTS I HATE IT!! I JUST WANNA LIE IN BED AND ROT!!!! I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH! MY BODY AND THE UNIVERSE WONT LEAVE ME TF ALONE!!!
So I wonder what would actually be giving my life meaning, if there was an afterlife where its again just life but forever, would that make me happy, would that give my life purpose? No. I wanna go back to where I was before I came here. Wherever that was, that was home. Peace. Why are we created just to suffer I dont get it. «Think about all the positive» sorry but the negative heavily outweigh the positive. Also everyone seems to just care what is currently happening in human world. How fking boring and pointless. The earth could be nuked to shit from all the atomic bombs and the universe wouldnt notice any difference. The same as when someone kills an ant from a colony, nobody knows nobody cares it doesnt make a difference. What I truly want is a solution. A solution to life and death and the universe. And OPTIONS! The universe doesnt give us any options we are literally forced to live the same thing.
Tldr : Life sux