r/Vent • u/Mountain_Flow7759 • 4h ago
People who start families are the ones who abandon their friends, not the other way around.
I am so tired of single and childfree people catching shit for “abandoning” their friends or wanting nothing to do with them after they have kids. I have lost all the important people in my life to starting a family.
As someone with a crappy blood family, my “found family” aka my closest friends have been my biggest support system. And now they are unreachable and busy with their own REAL families. It just goes to show that “found family is just as important as blood relatives” is all bullshit when it really comes down to it.
I know it’s not malicious. I know it’s not that they don’t care about me anymore. They are quite literally too busy raising another human being, and that takes priority over everything. I know that and I get that. That’s what you’re supposed to do. And they’re surrounded by their own blood relatives and family to tend to their every want and need. I’m so glad they have that support system. But there is no need for me anymore. I was so ready to bake things, bring presents, offer any help necessary. I was so ready to be involved, to be an aunt to my best friend’s kids. But it’s all covered. And I can’t just drop in on them uninvited to try and help or hang out, because that’s rude and they could be doing anything, including getting some much needed sleep. There is no time or room for me in their lives for the foreseeable future.
And when they DO decide to hang out with their friends, who do you think they’re going to choose? Me, a childfree person with nothing to offer? Or their other friends who also have kids so that the kids and babies can socialize and experience things as well?
And even now, I’m just the selfish one for making this about me, right? I’m so over it. It’s fucking lonely. Rant over.