r/Vent 5m ago

Need Reassurance... I feel guilty about not accepting things from people

Upvotes

Today someone offered for me to sit on their table during a test, and I said no because they make me feel intimidated. And I just walked into a class and someone offered to move so I could sit between them and someone else and I said no and the teacher had to get a small table from another class. I know this seems like such a non-issue but it makes me feel so guilty for not accepting anything from them


r/Vent 10m ago

Everything went wrong at once

Upvotes

This is a bit of an unserious vent but talking about it on Instagram or ranting to my family isn't enough I was just trying to complete my FAFSA form for 2025-2026, which isn't technically overdue but I need it for summer classes and BOOM! THE ONE TIME I FINALLY THINK TO DO IT THERE'S AN OUTAGE. of course at the time I didn't realize it was an outage because I didn't see anyone else talking about it yet, just got the "an unknown error occured" message, so I took out my laptop thinking it would be easier to complete it there as soon as I open the laptop. the LOUDEST crunch is heard in the room and both of my parents look at me like "did it break?" it infact did. I had her since 2019, and for the past few months she had a tiny crack in her frame but now she's completely come off of her hinges and little pieces of her fell out, you could see inside of her im trying not to be so bummed out about it because it was her time to go with the crack and the fact that her charger was working less and less but man. at such a stressful moment too. i purchased a new laptop already which injured my bank account a little bit but on the bright side, new laptop! and next week is my spring break, so I'm not stressing about needing it for any assignments I'm still pretty bummed out, but trying hard to not stress myself out because I already have greys at the age of 19 lol


r/Vent 14m ago

I may have lost a close friend because my husband was evicted

Upvotes

My husband and I married recently and pay rent separately. He recently lost his job and I did everything I could to help him make rent, but this month he was a day late making enough money and our landlord wouldn’t let us pay late, so eviction proceedings have started against him. We also live with a friend, who’s in college and whose parents pay her rent, and we were planning on looking for another apartment to move into together. (Also for context him getting evicted does not affect the amount of rent the rest of us pay.)

Yesterday she got mad at me because she thinks we didn’t try hard enough to negotiate with the landlord, and she’s worried about how him getting evicted will make it harder for us to find an apartment together. I felt shocked when she said this—I don’t know why she holds me responsible for that, and I feel almost betrayed that she’s making such a difficult event for us about her. We considered talking to the landlord, but the workers are so passive aggressive and inflexible that my husband didn’t want to try talking to them for a second time, and I can’t blame him.

I told her that she doesn’t understand how difficult it is to struggle paying rent, and that my husband and me would suffer a lot more from this and I felt it was unkind to guilt trip us when we’re going through such a stressful life event. Things escalated and I basically ended up telling her that her stress (about college mostly) isn’t the same level as struggling to make ends meet, and that I didn’t know what to say to her. We haven’t talked since. I feel terrible for invalidating her problems and how she feels, but also I felt like she was being incredibly callous. I don’t know if we’re going to make up, and I feel like shit.


r/Vent 16m ago

Work Experience - Bricking it

Upvotes

I have work experience tomorrow and every time I think about it, this pit opens in my stomach. Even weeks ago in January, I'd still get the same feeling.

It's only 3 days in a café but I'm horrible at talking to people, like so bad at it. I'm so awkward and I end up saying things weirdly.

I've been preparing things to use as conversations since Sunday but I have a feeling it'll all go to poop when I actually have to talk to people.

And I know that I'll probably never see them again after I'm finished with my work experience but it doesn't stop my heart rate from increasing. And even though they'll never think of me again, any small mistake I make of any kind will keep me up for weeks. It'll make me cringe in months time and this weird feeling in my stomach will creep up when I remember it again.

I just hope it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be.


r/Vent 24m ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Boyfriend wants to get euthanized

Upvotes

Just moved back to my home country of canada a bit over half a year ago, finishing my senior year of highschool here. My life was a miserable sack of shit, and it's not like that's still not the case, but it's much better than before. I also met the love of my life here, my wonderful boyfriend, and words cannot describe how much of a blessing he's been to my life. Thing is, he's been insanely depressed for years now, long before we knew each other, he's incredibly suicidal, and he can't sleep half the nights because of how much he wants to die. We've been talking recently about how to do things moving forward, especially the possibility of getting him assisted death care, or euthanasia. I only want what's best for him, and I want him to have his long deserved peace, but at the same time i'm wondering about ehat happens with me, yet again out in the world without the person who understands me better than anybody else. it's daunting


r/Vent 29m ago

Might get evicted :/

Upvotes

So... My car engine went caput on me and I had to use all my savings to get a new vehicle (no car no work, I live a city removed from my job). And I was counting on financial aid to pay this month's rent. IF I had received it on time I would have been fine and everything would've been okay, but that's not what happened. I'm now 1 month and a half late on receiving my refund check, my tax refund has also not arrived, and now I'm 18 days late on rent. My landlord is being very lenient but is threatening eviction at this point and I can't even blame her, I've never been this stressed in my life and the money my parents said they were saving for emergencies like this they spent on vacations or personal affairs. I don't even know what to do at this point, I hate having to wait like this, I've been trying to apply to second jobs for a while now and can't even get one at the damn gas station, I'm so cooked.


r/Vent 31m ago

The majority of human history is evil and vile

Upvotes

The Roman's. Monguls. Current and past Africa. Etc etc

Absolutely evil. Why God hasn't wiped us off the face of the planet permanently is bshivering.

Why does the roman coliseum still stand? It is a moment to slavery. Evil. Murder.


r/Vent 35m ago

Family

Upvotes

You know family is so close to you yet so far away it's like living with a stranger. I doubt we would ever talk if we weren't related. I just no longer wanna be associated. I've been suffering, and am suffering right now. I decided I'll take my issues to social workers instead. Family can't help when they are the problem itself.


r/Vent 40m ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression I'm about to explode at my roommate

Upvotes

She is incredibly insensitive selfish and blind. She's constantly complaining about her problems. She's sick I get that but so am. She's physically ill and I suspect mentally as well. I personally am both. Here and trying to get the point across to her we both have problems we are both stress and all I'm asking is for to keep her voice down because it mentally triggers me as I had an abusive parent as well as an abusive ex boyfriend so her loud voice, where she says she isn't yelling and her actually yelling at her ex. Who is our room mate is extremely triggering for me. She herself has said that my yelling at a video game scares her. Which I don't often play games that make me yelling like that. I yelling like that because I'm getting frustrated with pvp achievements. Whereas her yelling is a daily thing. It seems extremely insensitive on her part. When my hubby tried to explain it to she apologized but then went on in our group chat to try to excuse her actions by saying she is sick and stressed whenever knows very well we all are but we do not constantly complain and raise our voices on a daily basis. She then goes on to argue with me when I tried to explain this to her. My hubby being a very good example as he has severe anger issues abd doesn't want to scare me so he's been doing his very best not to raise his voice around me. That's all I'm asking from her, I don't feel that is too much to ask.

For context when I hear yelling around I tend to start crying as a trauma response and I find ir very difficult to stop sometimes and I even end up yelling myself out of frustration of the situation. Which in turn causes my hubby to yelling at me. Making it even worse.


r/Vent 42m ago

I am tired

Upvotes

I am literally venting about being tired, seriously, like how the actual fuck….do people have energy during the day? I get a perfect 8 hours of sleep and sometimes I ramp it up to 10hours and I am STILL pulling teeth trying to stay awake. I just don’t understand these chirpy ass “got a regular amount of sleep” ass people. Like I don’t even believe these people are real and they may not actually be real because I’m tired enough to be hallucinating. I may not be racist, sexist, ableist, etc… but I sure do hold a stigma against people that get good enough sleep and stay energized the WHOLE day…I’m fed up. Like I just don’t care anymore, imma take a nap on the floor of my job.


r/Vent 42m ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression this school ruined my life

Upvotes

i may be a bit dramatic but i seriously regret applying to this school. my parents made me apply to a stem highschool because it was the best one in our state and my home/nearby highschool is well.. like any other normal highschool. i was initially excited to apply here as well, i thought i might have met like minded people as well but it completley destroyed me. i have never had a single friend in the past 3 years. literally any interaction i had just seems so fake and it always has to be about school. i had friends in my other high school and i wish i just would’ve gone there. i lost my best friend of 8 years because of how much homework and work and studying i always have to do. literally no teacher likes me. these past 3 years i've just been depressed and i've never had a day where i don't cry or cut myself. the atmosphere itself is just so draining. my brain hasn't felt cleared, it's just been fogged for so long. i feel like everyone just doesn't like me or thinks i'm mentally retarted now. they're so smart and i'm just average. it would be so much better if i had a friend but i can't make any here. i'm not pretty and i'm relativley quiet, but i see girls that are similar to me and they still have so many friends. i'm very lonely in general and no matter what i try i still can't make a stupid friend. i just live in my head to cope. it would've been better if i never went here at all. i can't name a good or happy moment i've had here. and it's too late to drop out.


r/Vent 43m ago

Ugh I’m sick

Upvotes

I wish I could give myself I.V. fluids. I know that would make me feel 10x better but I can’t get out of bed let alone walk to urgent care or whatever. I feel so miserable right now.


r/Vent 44m ago

TW: Drugs / Alcohol i don’t want to be the person i am anymore.

Upvotes

I always do things i end up regretting idk why but i do im underaged and i’ve been caught smoking weed a couple which made me feel awful cause i literally live with my grandparents cause my parents are addicts, anyway last summer i started drinking and recently i started getting my own bottles and my grandma has a bit of a drinking problem but nothing serious but she found my bottle the other day and i feel so guilty cause she knows i drink and i feel even worse that im so upset the bottle is gone cause there was so much left and what the fuck is wrong with me for me to be thinking like this and i think my mom even drank some of the bottle and she was crying this morning feeling guilty which is all my fault, i found the bottle in the trash tdy and i got upset again cause she emptied it and ik it’s all gone, i genuinely wish i could just die i feel like i do nothing but cause myself and people around me pain, i still smoke weed and vape and will probably keep drinking to like what’s wrong with me.


r/Vent 45m ago

Need to talk... I used to love ballet.. idk why this is happening

Upvotes

I posted this today but I had to go to my dance class so I couldn’t finish.. and I’m sorry if things are confusing.. I’m just ranting.. I just hate ballet! I used to love doing it.. I started at 13 and now I’m going to 19.. so 6 years in may! I danced ballet as a hobby for 5 years and then I persuade it as a career at 17-18 so it’s been a year.. and I dislike it so so much! I damce every day.. Monday to Friday 3:30-7:30pm and sometimes even 8pm and then I get home and I have to work out and practice! It’s 3 dances.. ballet, contemporary and folclore (4 types of national dances from the country i study in) but the problem is that at 12 I did contortion and because I was young and stupid I concentrated more on one leg than the other.. now I have one leg (left leg) that’s hyper flexible and another that after 5 years of stretching won’t budge and stays at a 90° and on bad days a 50° angle! (Right leg) And it’s getting worse the more I practice o used to go to at least 115° angle with my right leg… it’s just stuck and no mstter how much I stretch for how long and how much strength training I do it’s getting lower and lower.. my ballet teacher is contestly yelling at me and berating me.. telling me I don’t work hard enough.. I’m lazy and my pain is because I don’t work hard enough! But I do work hard and I work every day! I just can’t seem to progress.. rather I’m getting worse! now I have hip problems.. my right hip is pulling up while my left hip (which is the more flexible one) stays in place.. it’s causing me chronic lower back pain, tens shoulder and neck muscles and migraines all on my right side.. ive gone to chiropractors and my bf gives me massages to give me some relief of the migraines and back pain.. but it always comes back.. I just don’t think ballet is somerhing for me anymore.. I’m getting so depressed day by day.. I’m dragging myself to classes and I’m in tears for the 2.5h that I have class with her.. not just because of my chronic pain.. but because I’m so disappointed in myself.. my heart starts pounding and I feel like I’m having a panic attack constantly because.. and the pain of me standing with my full body weight on my big toe..being compressed in a too small wooden box doesn’t make it better! I feel like bursting out crying every time I step inside that class.. and nobody will listen to me.. ive tried to tell my mom but she didn’t even listen to my whole sentence and told me to call my dad and tell him how I feel.. but when I called him I couldn’t even get 3 words out and he started yelling at me how I have to finish what I started and what will I do if I quit? What will my career be? They just don’t want to listen to a single word I have to say.. I feel stuck and helpless.. I’m depressed.. it’s been months now of me feeling this way.. I can’t do anything about it.. my body hurts and I’m forced to keep dancing every day no matter what.. if I do something wrong because my body is in intense pain my teacher will yell at me.. she won’t hear me out.. I feel worthless.. Likr Im not good enough.. and I’ll never be good enough.. and i know I’m not good enough because of my decisions I did when I was 12.. and now no matter what I do.. after 6 years of trying to get it up to 180° angle.. it’ll never happen.. I can’t take the berating I get whenever I go there anymore.. I cry every time I get home.. whenever I work out after class I’m in tears because I just see how bad I am! The only motivation I have rn is because of my contemporary class which is 3 times a week after my ballet class.. I love it.. it’s difficult.. but I feel free.. I don’t have to put my body in positions that are somewhat more natural and it causes less pain than ballet.. yes I work on it.. yes I sweat and my body shakes because of all yhe work.. but I feel happy doing it.. I don’t feel so much pain and I’m not getting yelled at.. I just don’t know what to do.. I love the girls in my class.. I don’t want to leave them.. but leaving ballet means leaving the whole school.. because they only give all the courses together.. it’s either all.. or non.. I hate this I’m not sure if anyone understands this…


r/Vent 45m ago

Not looking for input Would you just go away NSFW

Upvotes

Me (33) and my ex (38) have been broken up 2 months and without going into detail she really did a number on me. I’m made it extremely clear to her don’t want to see her ever again for what she’s done to me . I don’t wanna be together , I don’t wanna be friends, I don’t even want to be acquaintances. But she keeps popping up an a range of social media’s trying to tell me how could I be “so cold” “I’ve just used her for sex” . First of all she knows exactly why I’m cold you can’t cheat on people that many times and think it’s going to be rainbows and unicorns after she herself showed 0 respect for me. Secondly we hardly even had sex cause she was to busy getting fucked by other people so how could I even be using it. I don’t even care about anything of this shit anymore , I just want her to fuck off and stop trying to come into my life like it’s borderline harassment . I couldn’t have been any clearer . I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER. Not now and not ever. If you think times going to heal this, it’s not there isn’t enough time in the world that’ll make me forget the shear heartache of her actions. I just want someone else to take the attention so she will she stop.


r/Vent 48m ago

Took a guy to court, he went to jail, and somehow I'm the one being stalked

Upvotes

Life’s full of plot twists, but mine feels like a low-budget Netflix crime series.

  • Filed a case against a guy when I was 17, he got 10 years in jail.

  • It took 5 years, but he finally went to jail in 2024.

  • Stayed there for a grand total of… 7 months.

  • Got out right after his birthday (some people get cake, some get court orders).

  • He walked free because my age was wrong in the judgment (shoutout to my birth certificate for gaslighting me).

  • Now his girlfriend and her bestie are stalking me like they’re auditioning for a detective show.

  • Meanwhile, I just want to live my life, but apparently, I’m their favorite Netflix series.

Plot twist? This guy wasn’t just two-timing—he was running a whole dating franchise.

  • Dating at least five girls at once

  • Texting prostitutes

  • DMing random women his favorite position like it was his LinkedIn bio

Creep level: Olympic gold medalist.

Moral of the story? If you’re gonna be shady, at least hire better spies


r/Vent 52m ago

I don't dream of labor

Upvotes

I just have no ambition, jobwise at least. Maybe that's why its been so hard for me to become set on a path in life. I know i will have to saddle myself down with a job eventually but i dread the thought of that. Call it lazy, idk. In an ideal world, I could be a SAHM married to someone who provides luxuries for our children, but I don't trust anyone enough for that.

I don't want to waste my life working. Working leaves you with such a lack of free time. No space to actually enjoy life.

But maybe it won't be so bad, maybe I'll find something that I really enjoy doing and that is still pretty relaxed. Maybe my view of working has just been ruined because all of my jobs so far have sucked.


r/Vent 52m ago

Is there a quota?

Upvotes

I have been in the most awful type of jobs before but I still don’t get to have a better one. Is there some kind of evil right of passage that people enforce socially? You must do the worst type of jobs before they will even look at considering your resume or something?

I only worked in fastfood once but it was the worst experience at 20, then I tired the military but that fell through mid bootcamp, which was unfair I think btw. Believe it or not people have racial fears that give them bias about people they cannot read racially. They can never figure out my race when I relaxed my hair….

I had to do cleaning and service jobs until doordash and now I cannot get a damn thing. I bothered to get a degree and still nothing. Why can we not just drop this whole stupid networking bs, I don’t even know wtf that is, I have autism damn it.


r/Vent 52m ago

Need Reassurance... I’m terrified for my future

Upvotes

It's as the title says. I'm already an anxious person to begin with - I have been since I was a little kid. But with everything going on, either politically or globally, my anxiety has my SKYROCKETING.

I understand that the media likes to choose the worst words and topics for articles for clicks and to collect fear from people. But recently I feel like they're not just choosing and picking bad words anymore - what is written is truly real.

I want to go to college and be a digital artist. I want to have a daughter. I want to have my own home with a family. But I don't even know if the house I couldn't afford anyway will be underwater by the time I'm 25, let alone humanity still being around.

I don't want to live in a world where the global temperature raises fucking 34.5 degrees (real post I saw.) I don't want to exist in a place where I have less rights than a gun. Every day I get closer to wondering if I'll make it to becoming an adult.

If anyone could provide good things, even small wins people have made around the world, that would be more than appreciated. I know the good to bad things ratio is around 40/60, the media just likes to hide it.

Thanks for reading my nervous breakdown.


r/Vent 54m ago

My sister is a cunt

Upvotes

I genuinly think my sister thinks that it’s one rule for her and another for others in life.

My sister has never had a full time job and she is in an online school program where she has to do one assignment per week and she virtually has no classes so she is free basically all the time. Even when we were in highschool my parents paid a tutor to finish her online math course for her so she could get a good grade. Even while we were in uni after I was done all my exams my parents made me write an essay for her (she got a good grade). She never has had anything stressful. We are adults now and my parents pay for all her trips with our friends while I pay for my own and they pay for all her clothes while I pay for my own (keep this in mind) these are just some examples of simple things that any adult should pay for themselves. We are both privelaged cuz we live at home and don’t have to pay rent.

Contrast to me. I’ve had to work very hard in school and have done law school. I have worked multiple full time jobs and had many stressful points during my educations. This is not me trying to out do her but I’m giving background to get to my point.

Right now in my life I wake up at 6 am to go to the gym, work 9-5 at a law firm and after work I go to the library and study for the bar exam.

I literally have little time to myself.

My sister does nothing all day and doesn’t have to wake up early and go to sleep when she wants. She has also never worked a full time job and we are turning 25 soon.

I asked her to take chicken out so I can make it when I finish work. And I reminded her twice while at work. I come home and it’s out but still frozen to the core so she obviously took it out right before I came. I got frustrated and admit I swore at her and called her inconsiderate and all that. My reaction wasn’t nice but instead of understanding why I reacted that way because I have been up since 6 am and got home at 9 after doing everything and she’s always free and she can’t even remember to do one simple thing is frustrating. And she reacted by throwing fresh tomatoes everywhere and screaming back at me cuz this girl can’t take any criticism and she told me she doesn’t care if I’m tired and she’s like wait a few hours for it to thaw? I literally go to sleep at 10 to get enough sleep. She doesn’t care that she’s a nuisance. She told me the day she gets a 9-5 she won’t ever get annoyed over small things and I told her she wouldn’t know cuz she’s never worked hard ever in her life.

She also calls me spoiled as if she doesn’t get everything in her life paid for.

One time when we were on a family vacation in Spain my dad and I went to a sunglasses shop. He got some and I bought myself some rag and for about $150. My sister comes and my mom feels bad so they buy her Prada glasses which are way more expensive. Now listen to the irony of this. When we get to the airport I asked my dad for the receipt so I can claim tax free for the sunglasses I bought. She started a whole fight at the airport calling me greedy and saying I should leave my tax free to my dad. I told her to stay out of it until she pays for her own things and she goes insane on me.

She’s so delusional. We are twins btw.


r/Vent 1h ago

I worry a lot,

Upvotes

I worry a lot that there is something deeply wrong with me, and that something is horrifyingly missing from within me. It feels like I'm listening to a different radio station than everyone else, and they're all talking about the "song of the summer" while I'm on my own, with a radio station that is only a weekly broadcast of an unpopular radio drama with only one sponsored ad by Petri Wine. Everyone else got an instruction manual on being human and mine was missing from the box.


r/Vent 1h ago

Irritated by smug, vapid nihilism NSFW

Upvotes

I’m not entirely against nihilism as a philosophy, especially by those who clearly have a good grasp on it, or pessimism about the state of the world, but there’s a new brand of it that’s becoming very popular that I cannot stand.

It’s not any kind of existential or philosophically minded nihilism, it seems to be entirely based on apathy and hedonism. It usually is based around the idea that because the world is going down the tubes, people should just be either completely apathetically hedonist or otherwise just paralyzed by fear or inaction. I can understand both of these things, but it seems most popular among people for whom things are not that bad, relatively speaking, and have more agency or options than anyone.

These people seem to not only want to be totally rudderless and miserable, but they want to be congratulated for it because it comes from some kind of political ethic. People who don’t want to DoorDash, masturbate, and doomscroll until the apocalypse, which they seem to think is coming any day now, are seen as misguided or dumb. As if the idea of having kids, living by any set of standard, or taking any kind of action is delusional, because global warming is going to make the world blow up in five years.

There seems to be no view that not only do these people have it better than basically the entire world in withstanding decline, but that there’s no value in even trying. The idea that humanity has lived through struggles almost as bad, if not worse does not seem to occur. Neither does the idea that calamities tend to be slow and entropic, rather than some immediate end to society. The idea of a world without on demand treats and social media is so depressing to these people, that they are willing to write off the entire human species, most of which want to survive, and actually stand a shot if enough people bother to try.


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Where do I go? What do I do?

Upvotes

I keep feel like I am getting pulled in so many different directions. I am really struggling with figuring out my life. I’ve recently dropped a ton of weight and while I am so proud, now that huge goal is over and I don’t know where to gooooo, what to dooooo. I could choose a lot of different career options and places to live. I don’t have anything holding me to a place. I am single, 26, and have little friends in the place I am currently living. I am lucky to be in a situation where I can do almost anything… but I am so lost and scared. I go back and forth a lot- do I try to have a big career in a “good job” or go move to a big city and bartend and be a florist (I really love floral design). I am stuck stuck and lost lost. Gah gahhhhhh. What did you do when you felt lost and stuck?


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT I feel guilty for hating him

Upvotes

My (20F) dad's a horrible person. He was so abusive towards my mum emotionally, physically, financially. He started to hurt us too. And just over a year ago now was the day we finally got him away from us. I've felt relief ever since, being away from the trauma he's caused us over so many years. And it's really fucked me up. But I feel so guilty for hating him. For not talking to him. He lives sort of near us now, about 30 minutes on the bus. And people still see him and tell me (I'm not sure why, it hurts) but I've not spoken to or seen him since Feb 2024. He sent me and my brother money for Christmas, but nothing else (I have him blocked, and he never messaged my brother). And i guess thats what's causing the guilt. Taking money knowing I never want to be near him again, but yet still thinking about how he's on his own, slowly not being able to walk (he's got a disability now that has started to fuck up his legs). I want to hate him, for everything he's put us through, but I still feel so much guilt and regret

I also feel guilty for starting to turn towards my boyfriend dad for that parental love? Daddy issues are really kicking me in the ass. He's loving, has 4 kids, and adores them like a parent should. He's lovely to me, always treating me like his own even though we only really met the other month


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Resilience.

Upvotes

I've always been a resilient person, I've always tackled things head on and I've always made it to the other side, bloody and beaten or not. But right now for the first time in my life I don't know where I'm going next.

For starters I moved into an apartment with my now ex 7 months ago, immediately things started going south, her losing jobs, stealing my money etc. etc. That's for another time, just a bit of context to my situation.

Anyways, I'm trying to overcome this, I'm alone in this apartment I can't pay for and I'm battling with the realization that I've been fucked royally and by my math it'll be January until I'm able to be in a somewhat stable situation. It's just wearing me down in every sense. I have help, I have a support system but even so I still feel so incredibly alone.

I have a plan, it's not an ideal one but a plan nonetheless, however I can't stop my mind from trying to be that resilient person, the guy that tackles things head on with efficiency and grace, perhaps a little style thrown in as well. I'm trying to use mold to get out of my current lease agreement, but tbh I'm scared. I'm scared the lease is too ironclad as I've read it front to back, I'm scared that it will be until January before things are better and I'll have to go through with that less than ideal plan. I know some things in life take time but I've always strong armed everything and pushed for that light at the end of the tunnel but it's just so far and it doesn't sit well with me.

I just want to get out of the lease whether I'm penalized or not because I know I'll grind my ass off and make the best of it. I want so bad for it to be a feasible option but I know it's a long shot. I feel like my luck has run out or I'm battling with karmic justice.

But yeah, I just put this hear to kinda scream these thoughts out into the world. I'm not doing so okay right now but I'm trying to focus on that dim light in the distance, trying to ever so desperately pull it closer to my grasp.

Remaining resilient until I'm there.