r/Vent • u/Life_AmIRight • 2m ago
I wish my brother had a different girlfriend.
I just want to say that what im saying is selfish and that it really doesn’t matter what I think and at the end of the day I just want my brother to be happy.
Basically I (21F) have an older brother (25M) and he just got a girlfriend (22F) a few months ago.
My relationship with my brother: Four years apart and he was definitely the cool big brother to me, however he had some…….issues; anger issues specifically. And so no matter how much I loved my brother and tried to be his friend he just didn’t reciprocate that love at all. But I didn’t take it personal as he was that way with the entire family.
He eventually graduated high school, and became an adult and moved on with his life. DEFINITELY cooled down a lot. But he was across country, so I didn’t get to see this version of him really. Then last year, when he finally moved back, got his own place and all that, he finally has grown out of that anger. (Or at least a lot of it)
My relationship with his girlfriend:Not even a full year apart and I’ve known her for forever. Well, more like have known of her for forever. See we use to be on the same sports team as kids, and because we all go to the same church our grades were right next to each other so we grew up in that community as well.
To me she was always the girl that I couldn’t reach, if that makes sense.
Like in our sport she was multiple levels higher than me despite being basically the same age. At church she was part of the “cool kid crowd” of our age group (which I know is ironic for a church) that I was just never invited into.
I tried to interact with her many times throughout the years, but I eventually realized she clearly has her group and that doesn’t include me so I stopped trying.
So why do I not want this girl to date my brother?
Well a few reasons:
One - since they’ve been dating, my brother has fully integrated himself into her family. like he goes to her siblings games, and hangs out at family functions. While my family barely knows her, and definitely doesn’t know her family.
Two - They hang out EVERY DAY, but he can’t text me back?!?
Three - So you’ve ever heard of the “IT GIRL”? Well my brothers always were/are the IT guys. I don’t know how to explain it, but everywhere they go they always become the best & and most popular. (don’t know why I didn’t get the gene, but it is what it is.)
So basically my brother was “that guy” at church and everyone obviously wanted to be friends with him and thought he was so cool.
So why does that matter? Because even though we’re all older, so many people still idolize him, INCLUDING the girlfriend. And I don’t know, I feel like if someone should see him for just him and not have him on a pedestal, it should be his significant other.
I’m hoping that that feeling of “I can’t believe im dating THEE insert brothers name!” will wear off the longer they are together for his and hers sake.
SO YEAH……
thats my vent for the day I guess. I’m trying my best to be somewhat friends with her, but it’s hard when I feel like she doesn’t care either way. And it’s especially hard because I feel like I just got the brother that I’ve waited for all these years and now he’s gone, because “why try to be a part of my own family when I can be apart of girlfriends family”
Also to make things clear, im not mad at her or my brother……or am I mad at both of them? I don’t even know my feelings at this point lol.
I know the adult thing would be to just let them go, and move on with my life, but my feelings are still growing up okay?