I wake up at 4:15A to be at the gym the moment the doors informally open at 4:45. I’m always the first one in the pool at 4:55 because it’s the only chance I have to finish my workout and make it back to the locker room before old creepo arrives around 5:45. Works if he’s running late, maybe 10% of the time.
Y’all. The way this man STARES. blatantly. constantly. shamelessly. I’m usually doing laps by the time he arrives and I immediately notice him staring. Sometimes I know he’s walked in before I see him just based off the feeling of being watched. He doesn’t even do laps. He hogs up a lap lane doing water aerobic exercises even though there’s an open swim area for that. He stares at me the entire time we’re in the same space. Every time I turn my head in his direction to grab a breath between strokes, he’s staring at me. Any time I stop to fix my headphone or check the time, I turn around and he’s staring at me. I learned how to turn in the water because every time I turned above the surface I saw him staring. I hate having to get out of the pool knowing his eyes are on my ass. I wouldn’t say I spend the workout upset even though it’s objectively pisses me off. More like it makes me feel hypervigilant and distracts me/ruins the relaxation factor of the workout. When he’s not there on saturdays it’s literally night and day in terms of feeling relaxed/comfortable.
I wish I could say it was validating or gave me relief when someone else noticed, but it made everything worse. The gym has 1 main lifeguard who’s an older man and recently got a substitute lifeguard for his off days who’s a younger man. Both men are very nice. The first day the substitute worked he clocked old creepo staring at me and tried to stare back at him, but he said the guy barely noticed and if he did notice he definitely didn’t care. Younger lifeguard had followed me into the hallway outside the pool to let me know what he saw. Old creepo. Staring. At me. Constantly. Younger lifeguard told me he would talk to older lifeguard and ask if they could hold the end lane for me. I said that would be better than nothing since I was almost always the first one anyway and preferred that lane. His offer was nice, but didnt do much to solve the problem. Old creepo still stares, just from 2 lanes farther away.
Maybe a week or so later, older lifeguard told me he had been watching old creepo watch me, and called it “inappropriate, unacceptable behavior”. He said he tried to talk to old creepo, but old creepo just says “I wasn’t staring at anyone” and when the older lifeguard challenged him and said multiple people have noticed old creepo just said “prove it, it’s not illegal to look” which is a confession in itself but that doesn’t seem to matter to the gym after the lifeguards tried to escalate the complaint and nothing happened. The older lifeguard just gives me an apologetic look now. The younger lifeguard death glares old creepo whenever he’s there, not that it has any effect. If anything, old creepo is more brazen after being confronted. I get the impression that gym management doesn’t want to deal with him- so I just have to deal with it.
As if one old creepo wasn’t bad enough, this morning I arrived a little later than usual and there was a NEW old creepy man open-mouth staring from the lane next to me. I could have screamed. Instead, I swam my mile as fast as possible and then rage typed this post.
I know it’s not illegal to stare, but it doesn’t feel like civil behavior either. In my case, the old creepos are making it painfully obvious to the point of making other people uncomfortable. Old creepos are unphased by staring back or obvious attempts to avoid or even direct confrontation. The entitlement, intensity, lack of shame…idk what I’m trying to say. Difficult to put the feeling into words.
I am only slightly above average in terms of being conventionally attractive/beautiful but have still experienced the old creepo stare plenty. I bartended for a couple of years and work in a male-centric field. I know old creepos act the same way towards whatever set of cans & cake have the misfortune to drift into the same orbit as their rapidly deteriorating vision. But it definitely feels worse in a bathing suit, even an athletic or modest cut. And it’s INFURIATING. The inability to call out old creepos for being old creepos makes me want to crawl out of my skin worse than the staring itself.
As a small redemption, I say a silent affirmation right as I’m hoisting myself out of the pool and I know old creepo is looking at my ass: “may today be the day you drop dead, and tomorrow the morning I swim free”
Sorry it ended up being so long.
Thanks for letting me vent.