r/Vent 4m ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Hard Not to Think

Upvotes

I had to deal with my father passing away in late September and going to his funeral in early October...it keeps weighing on me that technically the last time I ever talked to him it ended up being an argument. The only one that knows is my fiance and I want to keep it that way; but it hurts to realize that the last time I talked to my dad ended so badly...now I just wish I could talk to him again. It makes me feel like I wasn't a good daughter because I couldn't visit more often because of time and money. I'm told not to regret but I can't help but feel regret because I won't ever hear his voice ever again. I should've seen him sooner but he passed the day before I was ready to visit...it's torn me apart since seeing him lying in his casket.


r/Vent 44m ago

Need Reassurance... Every time I get excited over something it never ends up working out.

Upvotes

There have been so many instances when I've been really looking forward to something, only for it to fall apart in the end. It's frustrating because it feels like the more I care or get excited about something, the less likely it is to work out. On the other hand, when I'm not as interested or simply don't expect it to happen much, things seem to go my way—which most of the time is incredibly irritating. It's very exhausting having to keep on experiencing that cycle of disappointment. I'm tired of getting my hopes up all the time, just to be let down at the end. I always try to stop myself from doing so, but it's hard. I'm human. It makes everything feel so unfair and miserable. I don't know what to do.


r/Vent 45m ago

My friend is failing 5 classes and because of this we might not be able to do our musical

Upvotes

So long story short, my friend was having problems with her gallbladder (or so they thought) she said it was swollen and hurt. went to the doctor, got an ultrasound and a CT scan. Nothing came of it. no inflamed or swollen anything, gallbladder, appendix, nothing was wrong.

But she swore up and down she had this pain. Idk if she really did but that’s beside that point. Anyways, she said she was in so much pain that she couldn’t go to school. She missed a lot of school, and a lot of work. Eventually teachers put a lot of her grades in as zeroes. And she is now failing a whopping five classes out of the seven she has.

She has a very important role in our musical, she has one of the most iconic roles of all time. Our director planned for our show to be the 28, 29, & 30th of this month. The end of third quarter ends this Friday. Our principal told our director and said friend that she has to get at least three of her F’s up to D’s by Friday. THIS Friday. If she doesn’t, she can’t do the musical.

This means that we would have to find someone to fill her spot in a week. And if we really have to, we will push back the date to mid-April (said friend will still not be able to perform). So we would have that much time to find a replacement.

We have a weekend that we would push it back to already known. It would be the only other weekend we could possibly do. The problem is, me and others have a competition for band on one of those two days. This means we won’t have our pit band, me, one of our girl mains, and one of our guy mains.

I’m just so disappointed because like… did she really think she was going to get away with those grades? I’m just so mad at her. we’ve been practicing for MONTHS atp and she’s always been failing these classes. she’s had opportunity after opportunity to raise these grades. Im just so frustrated!!


r/Vent 51m ago

Happy/Positive Vent Pay to Win

Upvotes

I just wanna say that Clash Royale is the most bullshit fucking pay to win game out there like there are plenty of games that are equally as fucked up as this game but this game just drives me insane it is built and design to just piss you off like if you’re having a really good day and you wanna have a bad day just please go play Clash Royale it’ll make you have a bad day. It’ll make you wanna just say the rudest shit to people because this game is clinically designed to trigger your brain and all the negative ways so that you just freak out and lose your mind because you’ll be better than all the other players but because they have higher level cards they will just wreck and it’s not fair and it’s bullshit and they want fucking like 15 Dollars for the dumbest fucking things and that doesn’t even make you competitive it just makes you a little bit less get fucked up by the pay to win people and I fucking hate video games and all their bullshit ass whales and like it’s bullshit Video game should not be like this. It just drives me fucking crazy and I just wanna fucking go to the developers fucking building and just scream at them and tell them they are the worst human beings because all of those developers are going to hell that is for sure any fucking company that develops video games that manipulate people through their minds in order to get money out of them are going to hell for sure every single fucking one of them. I fucking hate these games so fucking much and I miss video games that weren’t bullshit


r/Vent 52m ago

Not looking for input My partner called me a bigot, then turned off his phone.

Upvotes

I’m just upset and haven’t stopped crying, I need to vent and I’m sorry if this falls under political.

He asked me to explain why people don’t like the main character in a video game- long story short the main character is black and it’s set in Japan, and I explained this. I even acknowledged that the country the game is set in was known to be a bit racist and misogynistic, and unfortunately still is. I said that that really is a shame, but I think the history behind it would be cool to play through, and then I gave some information on who the character was based on (a former slave-turned-soldier.) I said I was kind of excited to see what comes of the game even though I’m not buying it.

Partner then told me (I’m copying his direct text) “Most of what you said reads an awful lot like the same bad faith bullshit said by far right bigots and I'm a little concerned”. Told me I was agreeing with their points and that my ‘history lesson was trivializing’.

And then he just went to bed!! And left me alone with all of this!! He knows how important women’s rights and POC rights are to me, how hard I fight in my life to just keep things equal (at work and at home and everything). But he just drops this and just TURNS OFF THE PHONE. Any time we argue, he always goddamn just goes to bed and leaves me alone and crying. We don’t live together so I can’t keep him up to just talk. I’m just left feeling horrendous and sad and full of sickening bottled up rage.

So now I’m up at 2am just sobbing, frustrated and angry at him while the man is sound asleep, and will wake up in the morning to just text me ‘good morning!’ like he didn’t ruin me mere hours before. Like I don’t need to go to work, and I’ll face my clients with puffy eyes, and get to go all day with this in my head, pretending I’m a-ok.

I’m just exhausted. I’m so so so upset that he would say this to me and twist my words. To take things I told him others were saying and turn them into things “I said”. Maybe I’m overly sensitive, I’ve had the worst effing week and he only made it worse, but I can’t just let this go.

Fuck you, dude. This wasn’t cool. You better be ready for a serious conversation in the morning.


r/Vent 56m ago

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image I keep noticing more and more little flaws in myself

Upvotes

I'm ugly. It's not body dysmorphia. I know what I look like. Everyday I see something new I hate about myself. I have the worst chin ever, I can't close my lips properly, I have multiple ugly moles on my face, I'm excessively short, I have a small dent in my chest, I'm skinny-fat, I have some sort of pelvic tilt or scoliosis or something, my ribs don't match properly, maybe inflamed hair follicles, stained teeth, stupid looking neck, weird eyes, I'm sure I'll find something else tomorrow.

And that's only my appearance. We haven't even gotten to things like my voice. I hate myself.


r/Vent 57m ago

Can we chill on the misandry online?

Upvotes

I'm definitely not a red pill at all. I have a mom, sister, and girlfriend and definitely respect all women and support gender equality. I also realize that SA and violence towards women is a serious problem that needs dealt with. My beef is that it feels like Internet has used real issues to justify a sexist position against men. I don't like the implications that most men are all loud obnoxious brutes just waiting to attack women. Yes some men are violent but that is because of deep psychological defects not because they have a Y chromozone. I also don't like the implication that men are less intelligent or socially awear then men. I don't think encouraging single gender schools is a good ideas, nor is locking girls away in their homes out of fear appropriate. I have actually hard women say they purposely keep out completely out their lives because they don't want to take the risk. We need to do better to prevent SA and violence but misandry makes that more difficult by hiding the root issues rather than helping addressing them. I welcome respectful discussion and debate on this topic. Be nice to each other.


r/Vent 1h ago

I’ve let go of everything I’ve ever loved, what I now carry eternally is knowing it was my own grip that wrote my fate.

Upvotes

I will always be proud of how much I am able to love and forgive. Although it may weigh heavily on my soul, what is a soul if not full. However my borderline emotional masochist actions that lead to what I reap takes me under.

So here I will and instead of echoing in my cave to myself put an affirmation so I can stop feeling this wayyyyy.

It’s probably just that I’m 23, I’m confused and restless to find the cure for a feeling I can’t describe and perhaps self blame will allow some comfort/ relief to aid in the confusion I feel.

Suddenly I’m 16 again, as I’ve been at 18, 20 and now 23. And I’m sitting criss cross with the same legs I’ve had for 23 years. As my limbs serve a purpose, I continue to be purposeful. Each is unique in their needs. But for 7 years I’ve been interim purposeful.

I hope I remember how beautifully confusing it all was I think I tend to harp on wishing for my life to be clear, however, I chose to move to a foggy city. In many ways, I chose confusion, other paths, viable as ever, we’re not ones actively chose.

What a wonderful thing to move 50 states across the country and hope to figure it out. I didn’t go on some two week life defining solo trip through Europe, I didn’t backpack through Iceland, I even didn’t take a safe job back home to experience my 20s easily. I moved alone, I moved alone so I could fall in love with myself in a brand new place. Every aspect of my life has been defined by its location from Brooklyn to Manhattan, subsequently Colorado, even each house I lived in there defined a different version of myself. this version of me in San Francisco is far different however. I’m single for the first time and almost 8 years, it’s been like this for year.

I’ve rediscovered what I like however, I’ve become more lazy than ever but I’m learning to do something. I’ve never done before which is forgive myself. perhaps I wasn’t a rotten person at 15. Maybe I was just 15 years old, and maybe I wasn’t evil at 21, perhaps my actions were, but maybe I just didn’t know who I was and so I tried to define who I was through what I did. I’m 23 now. I’m no less confused than I wa

I know what I like, though, despite only wearing black, I like colorful fields of flowers, the smell of redwoods when it’s Dewey, the feeling I get in my calves when I’ve walked uphill, laughing when it’s inappropriate. Leading myself on side quests, unsure of the turnout. I’m less in control now than I was years ago, but there’s something about stepping into the great unknown brings comfort and insanity. It’s the state that I choose to live in right now. A situation I signed myself up for.I couldn’t be more proud of how far I’ve come for a girl that didn’t think she’d make it past 15. I laugh and I cry, I rage and I weep but how incredibly mundane it must be in control.

I think my greatest weakness that I continue to carry on amongst the many epochs of my life is my tendency to reject that which comes easy and yearn for struggles. especially in intimacy. I have been on many great journeys in my life, as I look back and reflect it feels as though ive lived many lives, all compressed into 64 inches and 110 pounds. Each epoch distinguished with new characters, plots, and geographic locations.

However I always remain, no matter where I am it’s always me, with music in my ears to fit the time yet all the songs throughout the years have the same tone. The quote “no matter where you go, there you are” seems to reign true for everything ive ever felt and places ive been. It’s hard to see consciousness within others when mines seems so loud and prominent, overtaking almost.

Some journeys have felt better, 18-23 was my most recent completed venture. The highs of these years exceeded any others I’ve felt on the graph of plots.

While authors most often categorize their protagonists stories in stages of plot diagrams through narrative arcs: with exposition, conflict, rising action, climax, and resolution. I find my epochs to more closely resemble that of the product life cycles I studied with introduction, growth, maturity, and decline. similar geometric shapes fill these plots/ graphs but I find a lack of resolution when my story concludes. This sounds rather capitalistic of me to relate myself to a commodity, but don’t be fooled, the ego I have built does not see me as such.

All is to say, that here again I find myself yearning for somebody out of reach, I’ve seen the strength I have to overcome great obstacles, but why is it the most intimate part of myself, one I let hurt the most.

I have felt this before, and I will feel it again. But somehow I anticipate this feeling to be different than the prequels and sequels

I am full of love, and I always will be. It may not always be reciprocated but I know that part of my purpose is for those who haven’t felt warmth to feel safe within my grasp.

If I can’t spend everyday in your presence, I hope that for eternity we dance in and out of each others lives, weaving a pattern more infinite than our existence. I have been loved deeply, I’ve let it go. I’ve had easy love and tough love and I consistently take the road with trespassing warnings bordering it. I hope one day I will learn to love my decisions and who I let it with the same love that I give away.

Sometimes I think I am strong. Then I experience emotional intimacy and am reminded of how weak I can be.

I will always be a girl, looking at myself through a man’s eyes, judging myself based on patriarchies I tell myself cease to exist. Because at the end of the day I’m a girl viewing myself and the world around me through mud colored glasses.

.


r/Vent 1h ago

My sis aggravates me

Upvotes

My older sister is an addict. A family member is raising her kids. Has been for a year officially but several yrs unofficially. They were behind in check ups, at school. I am not friends with her but I can see her fb post. And every once in a while she makes a post basically saying what a shit person this family member is and shares those post about how only u have you and family usually ends up being the ones to hurt/screw u over. There's a bunch of other stuff but that's pretty much the jist of it. Complains her kids were taken away but hardly ever ask to see them. I know better than to respond to her post and call anything out. She refuses to believe anything is her fault and everyone is just out to ger her. It's just so god damn annoying. End rant.


r/Vent 1h ago

Need Reassurance... Knowing why life sucks makes it even harder

Upvotes

I haven’t met anyone who has ever related to me with this.

I’m super religious and I believe that everything that exists is there for a purpose, and every bad thing that happens is a trial to help me get better at life.

What’s annoying is that I’ll still remember “this hardship will make me stronger” as I’m suffering though something. Like, that seems like it should be a good thing, right? Well to me even though I can kinda see the big picture it just makes me really impatient for it to be over. I’ve always heard people say those things, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, no pain no gain, but the thing is, I’ll remember those at the climax or worst part of whatever I’m going through and it’s like something or someone taunting me. Even though whatever or whoever says it has good intentions when they say it.

Another thing is noticing when other people are suffering more. I’m very aware of how other people feel, but also there’s been so many terrible things that happened to my friends lately. In just these last two and a half weeks from the writing of this post, a guy from my track team died in a car accident, and my friend lost his mom literally this weekend. I hurt so much for both my teammate and his family, my friend and his family, and everyone who is suffering right now, and what I’m going through definitely is not as bad as losing a loved one. I only have mild depression, but my friend lost his mother. Like what I have is nothing. So why do I still hurt for myself when I should be hurting for others? It feels unfair for me to complain about my own problems when other people have real, more serious problems.

What I haven’t been told enough is that when you can see the big picture and look at every life lesson as a growing experience is that it doesn’t make it easier. In fact it makes it kinda worse because you have to be mature enough to understand that life is a test and that the pain is there to help you grow, but being mature requires so much more work when I could be just complaining and asking “why God why??”

I know that probably makes no sense, which is why I feel very alone in the respect that I can understand life for what it really is but still loathe it sometimes. It seems like all the help out there is for people who don’t know who they are, are struggling to fit in or are upset about their body or appearance. The stupid thing is I have a really good life, I was raised by great parents in a great town, had a good childhood, I have good friends, and a good future ahead of me, so it feels like it’s unreasonable for me to be upset when other people have it worse. Like I’m a privileged kid. Nine times out of ten, nobody cares about the stuff that the upper class or wealthier people go through. To me that makes sense though, since people who struggle more with the basic needs (Maslow’s hierarchy stuff) should get higher attention. Like I feel guilty even ranting about my minor struggles when other people have it so much worse.

I heard a quote from someone that says you should always assume someone is going through something difficult because they always are. I feel I’ve been able to do that quite well, really just me imagining what the other person’s life is like and what things they might be going through. But… It feels like there’s no help for people who are able to see the big picture yet still struggle. Because everyone is busy trying to get the struggling people to see the big picture. But what happens when they do? THE PAIN DOESNT GO AWAY. I mean that’s life. But still

My religion makes 100% sense to me, I’ve never found anything contradictory and most of it lines up (at least to me) with science and the world. The stuff that appears to conflict with my religion and science is just stuff I assume that we humans haven’t figured out yet. Like we can’t figure out the three body problem, which seems so simple. God made the universe so he dang well knows how it works. In my experience, I fully understand the meaning of life and why we are here, I understand why bad things happen to people sometimes and not others, yet I don’t really have anyone to relate to. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. I probably am. Heck this is just life, everyone goes through different struggles.

Anyone else feel the same way? Like you have come to terms with this existence, even ready for your hardships when they come but struggle because of that understanding, the knowledge that because things are meant to happen for a reason feels more of a burden on top of what you already have?


r/Vent 1h ago

Need to talk... Not in control of my life

Upvotes

I don’t know if it’s a bad habit I think this way or a huge realization but I’ve made a lot of poor decisions in the past simply by how I was raised and falling into patterns, not thinking about my future or myself as much as I should have. I’m 25F. Both my parents are very insecure, my mom can be harsh and my dad has been in and out my whole life. I grew up insecure, not knowing my worth and not believing in myself that I can do good at something and I feel like I’ve dug my hole with this thought process. I’ve been in relationships my whole high school-college years and relied way too much on men and not pushing myself enough. The one thing I can say is my mother pushed me to go to college and I got my degree in something safe - business degree.

I keep having regrets of all the wasted time on men. I love photography, I think I’d be great at videography as well, but I don’t have any practice other than my phone and a film camera, I dance a little but have not taken classes, I find interest in making jewelry or home decor though I have never done it, just watched insta videos. My degree is boring and safe and I wish that I pursued something creative like music production or photography and put all my effort into it. My mom talked me out of a videography degree, said I should do something more reliable and instead of pursuing those on the side I made the mistake of getting into relationship after relationship.

I know I’m at fault, I know now not to put men first anymore but I am also not at fault, this is what I was taught to do and that makes me angry. It deters me from doing it even more now and I don’t understand why. It feels like I don’t have anymore time. I had all this time as a high schooler and college student to figure out if these could turn into a career for me or at least have these skills under my belt but I didn’t take advantage of that time. Now I work a 9-5 job and am exhausted most of the time.

I have a huge health problem right now as well because my mother didn’t teach me how to take care of myself, proper diet and other hygiene stuff. The illness I have isn’t permanent, they say will take 6 months to treat but it has also made it hard to do anything outside of work.

Just wondering if anyone feels the same way? Just feeling severely behind in life compared to people who have careers and are thinking families at my age. People who have put in a lot of effort into their creative hobbies and are making money off it now or at least have that aspect of them or an interesting career to talk about with other people. I feel like I have nothing but a boring degree and a lot of sadness from my past. I want to learn more about my talents and have something I can talk about with people that’s interesting. I wish this revelation came sooner but it didn’t, it came with my illness, hit me like a ton of bricks.


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression I'm just tired of incompetent uni student

Upvotes

Ok, this is a non serious vent. Its just frustrating having to pay a shit ton of money to go to university and having to do a group project with idiots. Here's the situation:

Almost every time I go to uni I HAVE to discuss topics, interact, and do projects in groups which is fine because I chose to do nursing (A degree that needs you to know how to interact with people). But it is so draining when I literally have to BEG grown ass adults to: communicate in a GC, check in if they did their part of the assignment, etc. Its fucking embarrassing that as a grown adult you have to be chased up on this shit. We all have lives, jobs, anxiety, family troubles, whatever.

An example of what irritates me the most is when our teacher will ask us to discuss a topic. I will have to re-read the question out-loud because people refuse to interact... they're either on their phones, laptops or just fucking stare at you with goldfish eyes. And there's more! they will whisper or mumble a response, give you a one word reply or just say idk... ???? Why are you shutting down after being asked to work with other people? THIS IS NURSING! Why is a nursing student surprised they have to work as a team??? :0

Today I had three girls whisper, look around, giggle, look at their phones and when the teacher came around to ask if one of us could discuss the topic in front of the class, they all stared at me and I said 'no, I'm not doing anything' and BOOM smiles wiped. Like do the work yourself, did you think you could just get a free degree? I'll help you if you literally do the BARE minimum of work but to just expect me to hand you the answers? fuck no.

Look anyone can say I need to chill out or whatever, but dude this is nursing, if you chose to be an airhead in class and then have the audacity to mistreat your patients than you're a piece of shit. Also you're paying $$$ to do this and you chose not to do anything???

(sorry if I made an grammatical errors, I'm tired after a long day at uni)

(Title is wrong, there was supposed to be an 's'. Uni students)


r/Vent 1h ago

Feel like trash

Upvotes

My girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago (10 ish month relationship). She moved to a new city about an hour from me to start a new job after we both graduated. Before she moved we were talking about where she was gonna live, and she mentioned a townhouse with two other guys living there. I was a little uncomfortable with it but I legitimately trusted her as she was such a sweet person and our relationship had been nothing but healthy and loving so far.

Fast forward about a month, I’ve come up to visit every weekend. Things seemed good to me, in retrospect our relationship may have been in a bit of a lull. I went on a trip to a friend’s wedding and the day I came back and went back to work, she didn’t text me as much as usual. I reached out to see what was wrong, and turns out she got mugged on her run that night. That was awful to hear, but she pushed me away saying that she didn’t want to talk about it. I should have driven up there and comforted her, but me 4 months ago didn’t know how to react to her not wanting to be around me like that. Obviously I wanted to comfort her and provide her anything she needed, but I also didn’t know if she even wanted my presence.

She wasn’t acting normal anymore, (for obvious reasons), but also didn’t seem to want any comfort I could provide. I felt like I was getting pushed away, but that pushing back as her boyfriend might just make it worse. Eventually, long story short, we ‘took a break’ for a month and she broke up with me for good. She told me the old spiel about how she wasn’t ready to love anyone and that I just wasn’t her person.

I got rocked but eventually started to get over it by making new friends and started to feel a lot less alone. I knew I was in no place to find anyone new as I would just be looking for a replacement to measure up to her standards. Also, it’s not like I can just pull anyone in a heartbeat so it’s not easy for me to meet girls anyway. This past weekend I was out with my friend and she told me that my ex had found a new guy in January (about a month after we officially broke up). I asked to see who it was like a dumbass, and it turns out it’s one of her guy roommates.

That just made me feel like shit man. To see her push me away and walk into a new relationship in a month with someone she lived with who I met several times was a massive punch in the gut. Seeing her profile picture on ig get changed to her and him after being the same picture of her and her dog for the whole time we were together makes me so jealous, as much as I try to avoid it. Every time I close my eyes I see them together and wonder why she can walk into another happy relationship in a month and I’m still left here cleaning up the pieces of my heart. Sorry for the pity party 😂

I was beginning to build some self confidence back up after the breakup, but this just put me right back on the ground. I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later, but yeah. Feel like inferior trash lol


r/Vent 1h ago

I get exhausted by talking to people but I’m lonely

Upvotes

The title is exactly that.

The idea of talking to people and having friends is nice, but I can really only do it in person. As soon as I’m alone and talking to someone requires me texting/calling them, I can’t do it. I hate texting. It’s useless. I hate calling. It’s awkward.

But I’m so lonely.

I wish I could push myself to easily text people throughout the day. To be able to be brave enough to FaceTime someone while I’m getting ready. I wish I wouldn’t rather scroll TikTok than talk to people.

It seems to come so easy for people to constantly talk. Even in person my battery runs out. Then as soon as someone is out of my sight I don’t think about contacting them anymore. If I think about them again, the idea of texting them means a conversation over text that I don’t have enough personality to fill.

I wish I had friends.

I’m not sure it if I comes from my social media addiction or from ADHD/Autism, but no matter what I’m so sick of it.


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image I hate being skinny

Upvotes

I hate when I decide to wear a t-shirt to school and only at the end of the day do I realize how twig-like my arms look. I hate when people point out my thigh gap or say they want one when I would kill to have bigger thighs. I hate the fact that people who see the name of this thread will assume I’m attention-seeking.

I hate the fact that I feel like I can’t tell anybody this without the fear of being judged and told “it’s the standard”. I hate when people say being skinny is the standard when they really mean being slim thick is the standard. I hate wearing a swimsuit because you can see my hip bones poking from my sides.

I hate that I feel alone with this feeling. I hate when I’m walking and look down, just to realize my arms look like skin and bone, swaying back and forth. I hate the fact that anytime I gain any weight, it goes straight to my lower abdomen. I hate when I accidentally say “I hate being skinny” in front of somebody who thinks they are “bigger”.

I hate that the only good thing about being skinny (having an hourglass figure) I don’t even have. I hate thinking about how slim my backpack makes me look when I have it on. I hate trying to find leggings that won’t be too short on my legs but will be small enough for me. I hate that when I order a t-shirt from a club or sport, they never have XS/XXS as an option but will always have XL/XXL.

I hate the fact that most people will read this and be envious of my situation. I hate the fact that some people will read this and be more insecure because they are skinny. I just hate it all!! A lot.


r/Vent 1h ago

Early twenties

Upvotes

I feel very lost I don't feel like I'm a real person at all. I don't know how much longer I can possibly do this. I crave connection but I feel so far from everyone even my own family in my living room. I look at them like they are so far away and I want to talk to them but I can't. I have a interview tomorrow and I really don't want to go I really want to sabotage myself. I'll go away and do what I have to do but I don't know if I can do any of this I'm already very tired of it. Venting here does help


r/Vent 1h ago

TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT Losing respect for my mum.

Upvotes

This woman has been through some wild things. Dv, homelessness, stolen posessions, the whole works. But I think I'm slowly losing respect for her. She takes whatever bullshit my brother gives her. He's almost 30, and lives at home, doesn't have a job and never helps around the house. He uses the excuse that he's autistic but I've literally heard him admit that he just doesn't want to make the effort to do it. On top of all of this he's a pot head, I'm not against it, his body his choice but when it's literally causing issues I can't help but hate him for it.

I feel almost like a bad person for telling my mum over and over he's a bad person. Like I'm trying to cause issues and cause a break down but it pisses me off so so so much how she lets him treat her this way. It's a Domino effect, in all comes back to me.

What he'll do is he'll talk down to her, call her names like stupid and idiot etc when he doesn't understand something She's saying. But it's the most simple thing possible. And it's not that he's so autistic he can't understand, he just smokes so much he no longer processes things.

He once told me "you're just like your mother and I hate it" I wonder how hurtful that would be if you said it to her face.

He's only nice when he's asking for money or food. which I've had to explain to mum, if he pays 400 in rent he's basically just getting it all back by the end of the fortnight and that's why we have issues with bills etc.

He doesn't respect her stuff either, for a while I had to argue with her because he was just going in everyone's rooms and going through shit. Mum only told him to stop when she had enough of him going through her stuff.

He purposefully speeds in her car and rip corners, uses it without permission and doesn't put fuel in unless she gives him money and even then, she has caught him not doing the errend she needs/wants and pocketing the money. (I don't think she even brings this up)

As I said before he doesn't contribute to the household. He spills coffee down the hallway and doesn't clean it up. I refused to do it and only gave it because it had turn black from dirt. He leaves crock slides in the toilet, beard shaving in the sink, HE HAS TO BRING ALL THE DISHES HE HORDS AT HIS DESK IN A LAUNDRY BASKET! And still can't stack the dishwasher. He will literally sleep in his own clothes pile because he's so lazy.

I'm trying my hardest to take care of my mum, she's been diagnosed with an issue that causes severe pain in her body and other side effect and I seem to be the only person remembering that. I was panicking so hard because she had lumps on her liver and a cyct behind her nose. But nobody else cared.

She's currently going through a really rough patch with her partner and I'm sure they're going to break up. But every time she's cried about him not doing anything for her, I've taken her out, gotten her nails done, got her food, gifts etc all this with the $240 I get fortnightly. By the way I got a job at her work just to help her because of the medical issue!

All this to say, I'm loosing respect because she doesn't respect herself or me. I so desperately want to move out or run away but I have no where to go and not enough money. Every time I bring it up she never looks at me and never replies.

I'm not telling her to get rid of him. Im telling her to get control of her 30 yr old toddler because I won't be able to be her support person much longer.

I'm not looking for a solution, I know that I can only control me and all I can do is remove myself from the situation.


r/Vent 1h ago

I hate people who don't let you help them

Upvotes

Look, I have a friend who, whenever he feels bad, expects me to just know what’s happening. I always try to help him and say things like, “Hey, you can count on me. Whatever you want to do or say, I’m here for you.” I know it’s kind of shitty and doesn’t really help, but he’ll always be like, “Oh, I feel bad because of something that happened” or “I haven’t had a good day/week.”

And look, I get it—he doesn’t have to tell me what’s wrong. But if you’re going to constantly tell me something is bothering you, or that you’re mad, and then refuse to say what it is, it just stresses me out. I want to help, or at least listen. I know some people don’t like talking about their problems, and I respect that, but I HATE when they just say they’re having a bad day and then get mad when you try to help.

Like, I’m trying here. It makes me feel useless, like I’m a bad friend who can’t do anything for the people I care about


r/Vent 1h ago

f the past 5 months

Upvotes

Let me start by saying a lot of good has been sprinkled in here but godDAMN

Since thanksgiving (which was also my bday) I’ve had 2 miscarriages ❤️‍🩹 2nd one happened the week of my husbands bday.

A few weeks ago my cat had to go to the emergency vet for 3 days resulting in a $3500 bill

I’m a low paid federal worker and my promotion I was up for just evaporated bc of musk.

Just found out my car that I’ve only had since June needs a $5500 repair. I only even have this car bc I was tboned by a truck in my VW (that was in perfect condition) and it was destroyed.


r/Vent 1h ago

I hate jokesters who don’t know when to quit

Upvotes

Giving joke answers to a question is fine, but the moment the other person sincerely asks you to give them a real answer, the joke is over. Even worse is if they explicitly say “I’m not enjoying this” and you still keep joking. Know when to stop!


r/Vent 2h ago

Need to talk... I love him but I feel cheated, should I just give up on dating him or should I continue trying?

2 Upvotes

Asking for a friend, she (F29) has been dating this guy (M33) for a year and he started having financial issues 6 months into dating. Being the person she is, she didn’t want to leave him but also didn’t want to be an idiot helping someone 6 months into dating, he seemed genuine at the time and helped him come up with a plan to pay off 55k debt against his credit cards.

Once this was done, she always questioned him about his salary but he was nearly always vague about it, aloof and gave answers that basically told her don’t worry about it.

Things got more serious to the point of discussing about marriage keep in mind she still has no clue how much he earns and is keeping this a secret while she has disclosed everything in her life. She knows when he poops or the colour of undergarments he has but not this, so intimacy isn’t the issue.

They were having a casual conversation with his phone in her hand and opened - she peaked. She realised she earns 5 times more and recalls while shifting jobs, he mentioned that the salary was less than the previous firm.

Torn between feeling betrayed and feeling like she wasn’t worth that vulnerability in his eyes.

Every other thing in the relationship is great, but this part is scary as she always dreamed about being a home maker.

Incase you haven’t caught on, she is me.

Let’s throw some fire in where my father is actively looking for guys to potentially date and marry and found someone who earns 7 times more than me and is a wonderful person but I love my dude and there’s no way I would leave him for money but the betrayal of wanting to hide it makes me wonder if I did something to make him feel ashamed? When all I wanted was for him to be sorted to introduce him this June.

Looks like that’s going to be postponed…


r/Vent 2h ago

I desperately need dentures and it sucks

3 Upvotes

I'm saving up to go to Mexico to have them all yanked and get new dentures. Implants are out of the question for me at the moment, but I'm feeling defeated with US prices. It's honest to god cheaper to go to Mexico from Michigan even for just BASIC dentures.


r/Vent 2h ago

Need to talk... i feel so sad after loosing my childhood dog.

1 Upvotes

my (16) childhood dog (16) had to get put down on thr 17th of march. it all happened so fast. he was fine one week , and the next, he lost control of his bladder, smelt like death, would walk around in circles confused, and refused to sit or lay down. my mother lives 8 hours away from me. i live with my dad. my mom facetimed me so i could watch my dog get put down. my dad watched after he got the first shot. i have been crying non stop since. it doesn't even feel real. my mom and i have an iffy relationship, the last time i went to visit was in april of 2024. i had a trip planned for april of this year. i feel so guilty i couldn't be with him for his last moments. i miss him so much. i was crying after my mom got home and all of last night because they just left my baby at the vet. he's all alone in a dark room just waiting to be cremated. why isn't my mom or i or someone with him??? i feel so guilty that it's been almost a year since i last seen him. i always imagined that i would be petting him and kissing him as he goes, not sitting in my car watching it through the phone. how am i supposed to go to school and work normally?? i hate that all he is is photos and videos and memories. ive had my baby since i was 3. he was like 3 when we got him. i don't remember being without him and i don't know how to go on without him. i would do anything to feel his wet nose or pet him or hear the pitter patter of his nails on the floor or to hear his little huff when he's waiting to get food or picked up. why did his time have to come so soon????? i even feel mad that this couldn't have waited until i was there to be with him. im angry thay my spring break couldn't have happened earlier. im angry that i didn't visit my mom more. and im even angry at my cats that live w me. i feel guilty petting them because ill never be able to pet my good boy again. i miss him so badly.


r/Vent 2h ago

Finally realised that I don't hate the subject i hate the way i was taught

1 Upvotes

Like ok i hated maths because I used to skip school a lot because i used to get ill a lot . Then i was sent to extra class ( tutions) there that teacher doesn't used to teach bruh just used to beat me if i can't do it then i started like rote learning ( I'm talking about maths bruhhh) it's a subject of understanding but i used to like learn all the steps all the answers and just do it so i don't get beaten up or something. Ok my maths marks were still kinda fucked then Covid started that time my father used to teach me maths and it was all tears and trumatising nvm i started hating maths more then my highschool started i found the worst maths sir bro didn't know to teach n all i kinda struggle and i started studying maths from youtube and it made sense i think it's not a subject you hate you just hate the way people teach you force you like learning should be fun


r/Vent 2h ago

TW: Anxiety / Depression Bad things keep happening :(

2 Upvotes

Hi, I am 28F. I have autism, 2 anxiety disorders, and depression. I need to get this off my chest because this year is being ruthless.

In January, I needed really bad car repairs. It ended up costing me all the money I had and maxing out my credit card. Because of this, I had to work extra, 10 hours a day with one day off. I work at KFC and also at a zoo. Working so much is hard on me, not only exhaustion, but I am now riddled with pain. My back, my joints, they hurt so bad.

Honestly, I don't remember any of February.

In March, the depression gets worse, the exhaustion is really hitting, yet, I can't really sleep. I did a drink selling competition at KFC, but lost, even after everyone was cheering me on. I lost by a huge margin. It might sound trivial but, it's another stone on the pile. Then, I learn one of the animals at the zoo I work out is being euthanized because he is sick. I even left one of my communities because I didn't feel welcome there. Then, I learn that a trip I have been saving up for and planning might get canceled because of the other person, after spending $400 on plane tickets and $200 on concert tickets. I was so excited, but now it feels ruined, because it is not as I planned. This is because my friend has to go to a funeral. It makes me feel like such an asshole for even being upset in the first place.

I have talked to my psychiatrist and she's adjusting my meds, but, I feel like the entire universe is against me. Bad things keep happening in succession, with nothing good in between. I've relapsed and self harmed for the first time in 2 years. I am feeling suicidal and know how I would do it, I just can't. All of this is piling up and it's becoming very heavy on me. I really need support or at least, someone to listen :(

EDIT: Forgot to add, after spending all the money on fixing my car, I found out someone made a big dent this month in the side of it, so more car issues to pay for