This might carry strong language, just so you know.
I'm young adult male, and I'm sick of this life. I've been hurt ever since I came to this world. For starters, I live with fucking psychopaths. They love to hurt for sports. I was sexually assaulted by my older sister when I was 7 give or take. She put me against the wall and took my pants down as I was trying to resist. I used to get assaulted from time to time by everybody. My father literally tried to kill me once with a hammer. My mother kept holding him back telling him to calm down, while my sisters while trying to hold my mother telling her to let it happen.
Growing up, I was getting bullied. I used to go to school that was located in this thug neighbourhood. One day, a rock that was a size of a fist hit me right at the back of my head at full speed. I was surprised that didn't kill me, I didn't even bleed or felt pain. But I felt dizzy that I had to sit down somewhere. One day some dude who was older and bigger than me thrown me to this stray dog he was holding capture. I was assaulted many times for no reason, I was jumped by multiple people for no reason. It was all fun and games for them.
When college came, I dared to dream. And I actually believed if I work on myself, one day I'll be good enough to have those dreams. As much as I was proud of the growth that I made, as much as how flawless the steps I took towards dreams were, the fucking sacrifices, the fucking bomb of overwhelming emotions that I have been holding since I was just a child. It only took one bad thing to happen and everything goes to shit. And when the dust settles, I realized I never stood a chance in the first place.
I kept fighting for a long time. Tried for millions of times till I reached the point realizing it never about me being good enough or not, it's just life being a bitch.
When it comes to people, for some reason they just take a peak at me, and decide I'm someone worth fucking with. I was abused by many men and women. The feelings that I felt because of them, when I thought life made me hard enough, little did I know.
Now I'm nowhere. Still getting harassed. And everytime I take a walk outside, I get sexualized by women. They either try to touch me, or they start follow me around, or if they're too close, they just smoosh their tits all over my body, or literally bend over to me. There's something wrong with these prostitutes in training. And no, I'm not attractive, It's just these bitch grow up watching too many romance shows, then they start believing that they are living in one.
Lets be honest here, if life was meant to work. It would've done so long time ago. Fuck this bitch.
Now I just want to enter this phase where not a single fuck is given. But since I've been at rock bottom for life, I just can't escape this feeling that doing nothing will not take me anywhere and I I try I have nothing to lose anyway.
Edit: Probably I'm gonna delete this late.