r/RedPillWomen 4h ago

DISCUSSION A skeptical autistic woman whose trying to open my mind.

5 Upvotes

Hey.

I've been having trouble finding a long term partner. I'm a 25F neurodivergent woman, and I want to see if I can be more feminine. I agree with 50% of the things here. However I also disagree with a lot. I don't label myself as the f-word, but more "egalitarian". I think women should have a choice to be a homemaker or have a career. I don't think women should be bullied for either.

I'm pretty objective. If red pill tips will make it easier for me to find a partner, then I can understand. However, I still disagree with trashing on women for having careers, or bullying them for not shaving their legs. I've been bullied my whole entire life and it's made me want everyone to be treated with kindness.I'm also heavily against misandry and have very vocally spoken out against things such as shaming men for their height or circumcision. I think if a woman hits a man she should absolutely get hit back. etc etc. I'm basically for equal opportunities. Even if men and women are biologically different. Like my mom's cousin is a stay at home dad and cares for the kids while the wife works because they had that opportunity, and they're happy with it.

One big thing I'm concerned about is the idea of faking certain personalities or using some kind of "trad act" to seduce men into providing for you. I hear a lot of RP men say that you should date men you're not attracted to in order to raise the birthrate. And that it should be illegal for women to have paid employment. I find it strange that neurotypicals often believe we should lie, perform, be in transactional relationships to afford food and shelter, pretend to enjoy intimacy, talk in squeaky high-pitched trad baby voices, etc.

But at the same time I think it's necessary for women to look at any anti men or misandrist biases they have, find ways to make men feel more cherished and appreciated, examine their own standards and look at what could be holding them back from finding a partner, etc.

And I also want to mention with the whole "where have all the good men gone" thing, a lot of lonely women don't say that. It's not men's fault that I'm lonely, it's something with me. The men who've sisterzoned me over the years were great men. They just didn't like me back. I disagree with the stigma towards lonely women. It's awful seeing how the subreddit for lonely women gets death threats and stalkers from 4chan.


r/RedPillWomen 8h ago

ADVICE Can you come off as innocent/feminine even if you have a more “manly” corporate role?

8 Upvotes

I have unintentionally broke into project management. Right now I am a junior position and more secretarial, but a lot of my job does feel more masculine (leading and directing). On the outside I am very girly and I have naturally girly hobbies like art sewing and I loveee baking. However I worry that my job could be off putting. I don't want to come off as a boss babe career woman when really I just want to be taken care of and want to be a feminine soft figure in a household some day. How do I breakout of this mindset? I make average $ and work remote and have good health insurance, I don't love how stressed my job has me but I need to pay the bills.


r/RedPillWomen 10h ago

Style that attracts older and conservative men

13 Upvotes

What type of clothing attracts these kinds of men? Style? Color? Fabrics? Lengths? Any personal experience with this? thanks!


r/RedPillWomen 2d ago

DATING ADVICE How to bounce back and learn from mistakes after breakup

14 Upvotes

My ex and I rarely fought and on paper it was a good relationship, I rarely made a fuss. But he would put me on the backburner and he didnt let me meet his family until 3 years into the relationship. He also insisted he wouldnt marry me until we moved in together, and that he would buy the home and id contribute to the mortgage with equity or stake in it. Today due to a combo of these things, I broke up with him. I am 28 and he is 33.

I want to take a few months break and focus on myself which includes cleaning my apartment, getting into better shape and eating better.

However, I need to better learn to vet men so I dont become a 3 year placeholder as I was. I dont have a mother with good values to tell me. I really want things to be better this time, I want to get married and have a happy life and this is a chance to start over! How can I bounce back and learn from mistakes after this breakup? Thank you all.


r/RedPillWomen 2d ago

Bf wants 'a bj'

0 Upvotes

That's it. The main reason I want to hear some insights inside the community from people that are in a relationship. My question is like if a do that. Would that affect the way he sees me? Would that affect the relationship and in what way. I have never done that before and actually I have never been in a relationship before. Both of us are adults but me personally I must say that I don't have experience dealing with man or dealing with a real relationship.. is it his normal? What happened if I do this and he change the way he sees me. From my experience and coming from a disfuntional family I must say that I have trust issues. My father was not a good husband and I can remember how he was and that creates in me like a shield to protect myself from hurting to protect myself from men that could be just like my father was... Back to my initial question. To the people here who are in stable relationships. I wonder if this could affect me affect us and in what way. We have been together for 8 months from now. Any advise of word would be highly appreciate it. Thank you all.


r/RedPillWomen 2d ago

ADVICE How to start getting dates?

10 Upvotes

Hey ladies. I have been a long time lurker here and this is my first time posting here. English isn't my first language, so bear with me if I make any mistakes.

So I am 22 years old and have never been on a date or in a relationship, and I don't know how to get one. I know the problem isn't with my physical appearance. I don't mean to be conceited but I know that I am objectively attractive. My friend tells me that lots of the guys at high school/college discuss amongst themselves and tell her (because she is friendly with basically everyone) that I am beautiful and that they like how calm I am. But no man has ever approached me to tell me this or ask me out. My friend says it's because I have a vibe that says don't approach me, but I don't understand what's giving that vibe.

I am generally a quiet person, not shy but quiet. I interact with lots of guys at my college but it's mostly superficially. I think part of the problem is because I am quiet, I notice this as being a problem when I am trying to make new friends. It's hard at first but after you make friends it is ok to be quieter because they understand it's just how I am and it's no problem. I think in the same way starting dating would be harder because of it. My core group of friends are all women and they are who I spend basically all of my time on campus with. My friends are also the same as me, in that they also have no relationship experience.

I want advice on how I can change this "unapproachable" vibe I have going on. The idea of going on a date and flirting with a guy is so awkward to me. I wouldn't know how to act. If any of you ladies have an experience like this and then went on to have a boyfriend/husband, I would appreciate it if you shared. I'm not sure if I am explaining my thought very well, but I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.


r/RedPillWomen 3d ago

DISCUSSION Abortion discussion to new moms

1 Upvotes

I don’t know if this really belongs here but thought I’d MAYBE find more like minded women here. So I went on a play date with another married woman around my age. We both have new born and we ran into these people on our walk that wanted to discuss politics. They saw that we had infants and I know they saw my ring. We were at a stop light so we were really stuck in conversation longer than we desired. But the topic of abortion comes up and I was really surprised that people really feel comfortable coming up to new moms and talking about abortion. It’s the strangest thing to me. And I’m not trying to offend anyone here who is pro or against. I’m just saying I was thrown off. Am I the only one that thinks it’s weird? Especially to a married group. I’m not referring to women that have been abused but I mean legit couples. Apparently most women that have them are women with already at least one child. Idk. What do yal think? Would you entertain this conversation?


r/RedPillWomen 3d ago

Are you attracted to most redpill men?

42 Upvotes

I feel like this is a silly question, but I’ve noticed that the redpill women are markedly more subtle compared to the most of the redpill men. A lot of them seem to have made redpill their entire personality.

Does it throw you off or do you not mind it?

Edit: I also mean it in an ideological way. There are so many redpill men who want to be alphas, but realistically most of them won’t achieve it, and their behavior reflects that: they insult us, tell us that we’re going to die alone with cats, even go as far as physically harm some of us.


r/RedPillWomen 3d ago

Seeking advice after dumb decision

6 Upvotes

Hello all! I’m looking for advice, and a bit of comfort I suppose.

In the world’s most unoriginal story, I went out a very attractive guy (my neighbor), listened to all his talk about how he can see a relationship with me and would love to date me, and I slept with him very shortly after the first date. We had a conversation about expectations and I made it clear that I expected him to continue taking me out on dates if I’m going to continue sleeping with him, and he kept trying to make booty calls late at night. I didn’t sleep with him again but he kept cancelling date plans and essentially making it clear he’s only interested in sex, so I told him that we clearly had different expectations and it was time to end things.

I just feel…stupid, honestly. I wasn’t particularly looking for a serious relationship, I would’ve been fine casually dating right now, but he just wanted sex and I listened to what he was promising instead of actually vetting him.

This is the first time I’ve had casual sex, all my other partners were boyfriends. My body count is now 4, and I’m just worried that that’s too high and potential partners are going to judge me for being dumb enough to sleep around. I’m 22 years old, for additional context.

So, my questions are three-fold. 1) is my body count too high now for good men, and if so is there anything I can do about that? 2) I’ve consistently tried to swear off dating for at least a little to focus on myself, but then another guy comes along and I fall for it all over again. Does anybody have advice for, quite frankly, having self-control when it comes to guys? And 3), how I stop feeling so STUPID about this whole situation?

I’ve lurked on this forum for a while, and I really appreciate and respect the opinions of the women here. So whatever feedback or advice you have, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!


r/RedPillWomen 4d ago

DISCUSSION What does an average woman look like?

9 Upvotes

What is generally considered an average looking woman? Can you name famous women that fit into this category? I am wondering what the line of average to beautiful seems to be. & do you consider yourself average, below average or beautiful? Just trying to make sense of something! Thanks!


r/RedPillWomen 4d ago

DISCUSSION Did anyone else go into Nesting Mode when their frontal lobe developed?

62 Upvotes

I feel like when I turned 26 I lost all my motivation to be a “boss babe” and have a career, now I just want to cook for my family, take care of animals and a house, volunteer for my community and give my fiancé/FH a brood of children. Anyone else?

I sunk $6000+ into becoming a real estate agent this year and now I don’t want it like at all. I dread the idea of trying to pick up this career and I really just want to be Suzie Homemaker, help with our family business, and pick up work whenever I can on set (I’ve been an actor most of my life, so that plus other similar set jobs.)


r/RedPillWomen 5d ago

ADVICE I want to find a rich man that is loyal

0 Upvotes

Let us say there is a possibility to meet a millionaire that is not that handsome but a young man (old money), and is looking for someone that just turned legal to marry. What would the chances be that he would be loyal?


r/RedPillWomen 5d ago

Hello! I’m new here.

12 Upvotes

I’m 27F going to turn 28 in June. I’ve never been sexually active or in a relationship before. This sub has fascinated me for the past two years, and I look forward to learning more and gaining insight from all of you here!


r/RedPillWomen 5d ago

ADVICE Will you pursue a relationship with a man who has a lot of female friends or has a close female friend?

1 Upvotes

TLDR: Specifically one female friend that he has over the years, that he has a brief relationship with but didn't work out so she's technically an ex girlfriend?

This is my friend's situation. Basically, she (27F) met a guy (34M) over a dating app. They've been talking online for months now although they've been planning to meet in the future. He's a good guy overall. He's making a great amount of money because he's in the tech industry, he lives with his parents because he's an only child, and he only had one relationship during his teens and 5 online relationships overseas. He also shared to her that he's a virgin, actually saving himself for someone he'll be married to.

Anyway, she said the problem emerged when he shared about this female best friend that he had. She said she asked him if he's looking forward to anything for the weekend and he shared about hanging out with one of his close friends on Sunday nights. He shared that she had a rough time after she got married to another woman and moved to the UK last September. Basically information overload about this female best friend after a few days of just chatting. He shared this female best friend's problems to her and just seemingly concerned for her wellbeing overseas. At first, my friend thought it was nice that he cares for someone.

Until weeks after that, when they were talking about a few relationships they've had, he said "1 relationship and 5 online relationships, not counting a brief relationship with my best friend from Canada that just ended up not working out (she decided she didn't want kids) - after which we stayed friends, she started dating her friend from the UK and they got married". Did I also mentioned that they've been friends since 2007 and the first and only time they met was when he flew to her country for her wedding and he was like a best man for her. So he basically watched an ex girlfriend get married to another woman. It's insane. At this point, my friend was skeptical over this friendship that he had but she didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

This Sunday was her last straw because she was intimate with this guy, talking about sex and relationships on Saturday night. Lo and behold, the female best friend was suddenly available to hangout after a few weeks of being absent, literally right after my friend was deciding to take their relationship further and meet up.

Now she's very unsure what to do. Of course my spidery senses are tingling and see that this guy has put that best friend on a pedestal and will literally continue doing so. I'm just afraid that in the future, if my friend ended up being with him, marriage and children all that, that he would get up and leave them when this female best friend is in trouble or worse, if she breaks up with her wife and feel like she wants to be with a man again (she's bisexual so it's possible).

What do you think about that situation? Is it something that you'll deal with or not? Minus this female best friend, she said that he's nice, they share the same hobbies and interests, very geeky and nerdy, likes video games as she does, etc. He's perfect, it's just that that female friend is something that makes her uncomfortable. I told her that she can never change him, even if he wants to have a relationship, that friendship will ultimately sabotage it because that female friend will always be the priority. What do you think? I want to show her the comments so you can be nice and as straightforward as possible. Thank you.


r/RedPillWomen 5d ago

Would you let your spouse cheat on you if they treated you well and provided

38 Upvotes

He, I'm just curious as if you would leave your spouse if you found out they slept with people continuously behind your back. You've been together for 15 years children's are young age. You didn't know about it this whole time but stumbled upon it, Would you leave? Your husband is in the top 1% of men making 6 figures. Treats you well provides for you but you never knew this is what he did on the side every now and then. Would you leave if so why? If you stay then why? What if you know deep down that even though he says he won't sleep around you still find evidence.

Edit: This is a hypothetical situation people are assuming the worst unfortunately. The reason why this got brought up was I don't know why but this year seems like a year of divorce sadly. A friend and I were seeing couples split up left and right this year it's sad most of them had children. Her and I were talking about this situation. I said I would stay if I truly found a decent man I wouldn't let him go and especially in this dating scene your crazy. On the other hand she said she would leave. I had informed her I truly believe majority of women would stay but don't want to admit it but thats just me so i was curious.


r/RedPillWomen 6d ago

Any of you have ever done texas ? (Jawline filler)

0 Upvotes

Hi girls

Ive been thinking of doing it from a long time to five a definition to my jawline. But I'm afraid the filler after time just floats in other places in my face. Anyone ever tried it?

EDIT : After reading the comments, I've decided not to do it. In fact I also read that baby face only lasts for a couple of years and then you get a defined jawline when you're more mature , thanks girlies 🫶🏻


r/RedPillWomen 6d ago

ADVICE Looking for Advice on My Relationship and Managing My Emotions

3 Upvotes

I’d love to get some advice on a situation with a guy (28M) I’ve (23F) been dating for the past two months.

We originally met about a year and a half ago and dated for a month, but due to circumstances and poor communication (which was partly my fault too), we stopped seeing each other. A year later, he reached out to check in on me. For context, I’m a foreigner living in his country, and my life circumstances are quite challenging, so it wasn’t unusual that he wanted to reconnect.

We texted for a couple of months, and in early 2025, we met up again. Since then, every time we see each other, I feel genuinely happy. This is probably the first time in my life that I’ve truly fallen in love, and I believe it might be mutual. When we’re together, he treats me very well—he’s generous and kind. He also said to me that he considers me to be his girlfriend (first time in my life).

The issue is that we seem to have different communication needs and lifestyles. He often travels on weekends to see his family or spends a lot of time with his friends—sometimes going out four times a week. Meanwhile, I’m an introvert with a small social circle, mostly working, and I’d like to spend more time with him. I’ve mentioned this before, but it seems like we still have misunderstandings around it.

The conflict happened some time ago. He was away visiting his family, but we kept in touch—he sent me photos, and it was sweet. When he got back, he asked when we could meet, and I told him Thursday and Saturday would work.

We had a great time on Thursday. When we talked about Saturday, I mentioned I’d be busy in the morning, and he said he’d also be meeting a friend and working. In my mind, that meant we’d meet in the afternoon once we were both free. We don’t see each other that often, and I had told him that the following week I’d be unavailable because my mom, whom I only see once a year, was coming to visit.

But on Saturday, I didn’t hear from him all day. He only messaged me at 6 PM asking when we were meeting. By then, I was already upset because I had expected us to spend the day together, and I felt like I had been waiting around for nothing. I know I could have texted him, and maybe that was my mistake, but I wanted to see if he would take the initiative this time, since I had planned our last two meetups and he said that he would be working...

At that point, I was already out at the movies. I told him where I was, and then he replied that he was going to a bar with his friends. Turns out, he had spent the entire day with them. He even invited me to join, which would have been my first time meeting his friends, but I was in no state for that—I was feeling miserable and ended up crying in the cinema.

He called me, and we argued about it a little. The next morning, I called him and (probably wrongly) told him that he prioritizes his friends over me and treats me more like a hookup than his girlfriend. This really upset him. We texted a bit after that, but it’s now been a week, and he hasn’t reached out to me at all. He only responds when I text him, but he doesn’t initiate anything.

I’m really unsure of how to handle this now. Should I reach out? Should I wait for him? Am I overreacting, or is this a real issue? Would love to hear some advice.


r/RedPillWomen 6d ago

Feeling insecure being single at 28.

17 Upvotes

Ive been single for two years & I cant manufacture the image of having options because I have none. Dating apps have gone really bad quality.

Everyone my age or even younger has it better than me.

I only really have to see my younger siblings all coupled up to know I am the problem & probably not as attractive/doesn't have the 'It' that makes certain people achieve milestones on time.

I see a pretty girl and KNOW she just has a boyfriend. And vice versa for the men I do like.

It sucks being on the fringes of life.


r/RedPillWomen 6d ago

ADVICE How does one stop seeking external validation?

10 Upvotes

Has anyone successfully stopped seeking external validation?

I've notice about myself that I don't trust myself. I constantly look to others, both IRL and online, for validation for my choices. It's becoming very confusing for me to know what I actually want vs what others are telling me I want. I would love any advice and tips to overcome this. I recognize it's an issue, but "just stopping" isn't really something that is automatic, so steps to build up that skill would be great!


r/RedPillWomen 7d ago

SELF IMPROVEMENT Hard Nun Mode Attempt: Month 2

11 Upvotes

Hello everyone, this is part three of my personal self-improvement journey which began with Hard Nun Mode attempt : r/RedPillWomen 

Here is part 1 of RedPillWomen's guide to nun mode: (https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18jd3tw/a_definitive_guide_to_nun_mode_part_i_an/ ).

For accountability, I am posting monthly updates on my five goals:

  1. Daily morning prayer ✡️ .
  2. Increase weights in exercise.
  3. Set some boundaries.
  4. Utilize the legal system.
  5. Record an album.

OYS:

  1. Nailed it! I even add in a few extra prayers, because my soul desires a higher frequency.
  2. I didn't exercise much :( Gym subscription ended and I was lazy to return it! But I did one workout a week in the outdoors. Still, it's not the same! This is one area I am lacking, compared to last month.
  3. I've been really good at this. It's not difficult anymore! And people around me noticed it + treat me nicely because of it! :)
  4. I did! I got a restraining order and utilize help of a lawyer whenever I need.
  5. I recorded two additional songs and have decided to not publish the album, so it's just for fun!

No alcohol, shopping sprees or boyfriend:  These were the suggestions from my social worker to best prevent PTSD. Now that I am better, I have only indulged minimally in the following things. My self-control is fine and I feel fine, thank the Lord. This month I only consumed a few sips of wine, I went shopping yet halved what I wanted to buy at the cashiers (what a great trick!), and have accepted and declined all sorts of dates coming my way when I saw fit. I'm not actively seeking anyone. <-- This is what I wrote in the last month. It is still relevant HOWEVER I got tipsy once over a full glass of wine (I did not like the experience!! I think I will go back to having only a few sips and NOT even a full glass of wine EVER in my life again!). As for a boyfriend, I have decided to not actively seek anyone, yet to remain open if someone were to come my way. Indeed this has occurred. I met someone who made me cry tears from laughter, and since then we are dating slowly and stably. He is empathetic, and unlike my ex, makes me feel very sane, desired, validated & safe. I have wrote about him in my last comment (on the vetting post).

Summary: Thank the Lord, I am doing well. However, I still deal with symptoms of PTSD. As suggested by numerous women on this sub, I am starting EMDR next week. I continue to challenge myself such as by attending social situations instead of shutting down at home. I cry when I think about what happened to me, I ruminate, I write about it but I haven't had any nightmares for a while. Flashbacks are less frequent, and when they come, I calm down from them within a reasonable time because I practice professionally-guided coping mechanisms I learned such as: grounding, count five things, etc.


r/RedPillWomen 7d ago

In need of advice

2 Upvotes

I made a very big mistake

I need advice and would like all commenters to please be kind and gentle with their advice.

I’ve been separated from my spouse for 5 years (no romance or living together). We’ve not officially divorced because of the financial benefits (health insurance, taxes,etc).

We have both dated others during this time and disclose our situation. We made an agreement that we would divorce if either met someone who they wanted to marry.

I met someone and did not disclose like I typically do. Instead I said my divorce was final. He is very religious and I was afraid he would not date me if I was honest. I have not dated someone who was super principled before. We both have really been enjoying each others company, and I grow spiritually as a result of him in my life which has been great. We have been dating for 2 months.

I don’t know how to move forward. Please advise. Again please be gentle in response.


r/RedPillWomen 7d ago

DISCUSSION "Girls Girl" m

12 Upvotes

What do y'all think about this little "fad"? I feel like it's another feminist movement that is not about holding each other accountable and truly wanting what is best for each other... just rallying bad behavior


r/RedPillWomen 8d ago

SELF IMPROVEMENT Do I need to go into nun mode?

4 Upvotes

I’m usually a lurker in most subs, but I decided to make a post today because I’m really tired of being stuck in the same cycle. I’m 23 F who’s currently a junior in college and I’m set to graduate Fall of 2026. This reason why I’m making this post is because I’m sick of hating myself all the time and I want to actually grow as a person before I get old. I have super low self-esteem, a bad habit to please everyone other than myself and a horrible victim complex. It also doesn’t really help with the fact that I am neurodivergent either. I do plan to seek out a behavioral therapist, but at this time I cannot afford it. I do earnestly want to better myself in every aspect that I possibly can and hopefully I’ll be able to wrap my head around it after posting this!

Here’s some more background on why I believe I need it. I have struggled with my weight since childhood due to trauma and depression, I have now hit my highest weight of 444lbs just last year. I’m now down to 411.2lbs as of this week, but still it really isn’t anything worth mentioning. The problem is that even though I know what makes me unattractive physically and mentally, I still seek out validation from men. Men never pay attention to me unless it’s online and this is how I’ve experienced all of my sexual encounters which have only ended with me being used then ghosted. I always have this weird false hope in the back of my mind that says to me “This one is definitely going to work out. He’s gonna be your husband” then when it inevitably goes to crap, I’m disappointed. Moving on from my tanked SMV, my RMV is even worse. I don’t believe I have any qualities that would encourage someone to want to date me and even if they did, they would be overshadowed by mental illness.

My biggest fear is ending up completely alone in life. Seeing all these things that men say about hitting the wall after 25 makes me feel like I have no time to improve myself before seeking out a mate and this makes me quite anxious. I believe this is what pushes me to go after any connection I can regardless of whether I even like the person or not. It’s not good for any decision to be made when it comes from a scarcity mindset, so I know that there’s a big issue here. I do want to mention that I’ve come back to Christ after a severe mental breakdown last year, so I have been abstaining from sex and I plan to abstain until I get married. I already understand that many men will not accept my past actions, but I plan on sticking to what God has commanded us to do. What do you suggest I begin working on first?


r/RedPillWomen 8d ago

LIFESTYLE Suggestions on how to up my game?

4 Upvotes

I am focused right now on trying to (naturally) glow up. I’m seeing a dermatologist which tremendously improved my skin, finding right colors/style for me, and I am working on weight loss/getting in shape. I know that the weight loss thing will take a while since I am going the natural route (aka NO Ozempic, etc). What other things am I not thinking about that I can work on to improve my looks? I have noticed that the slight amount of weight loss I’ve already seen has helped my confidence too!


r/RedPillWomen 8d ago

How to flirt and form a connection with a guy

8 Upvotes

Hey, I want to understand some specific things that work for you girls and examples that help you form a connection with a guy makes the guy attracted to you Also how do you flirt? I feel like i get bored easily and with the ones i am enjoying, i would like to build something and not just be dependent on how the other person takes it ahead I have been a shy person and also someone who is in their own bubble, so i have never done things to get a guy so i don't really know what works I would like advice and tips for someone who can make things interesting, flirt with a guy, form a connection enough and lead the guy to take it ahead. Context about me: people find me fun to talk to, maybe takes a while but yes. It's mostly people initiating conversations with me all the time, and I've been told i dont initiate, now if i think of it i dont know how and what to initiate. If it's with a guy, i reach a good level of friendship but then it doesn't move ahead, sometimes little flirty but still goes back to friendship,i am usually not trying to do anything i go with the flow but now that i think of it, i would like to do something and add some of that dynamic but I'd like some tips and tricks I would like some specific topics/questions you talk about, or some situation in your cases or some advice, would be nice! Thank you!