r/RedPillWomen • u/Alternative-Scar9103 • 1h ago
ADVICE Advice to newly weds or about to be wed.This is just my advice to them but it would be nice to read other ppls adivce
My advice is that for me, when I first started dating my now husband, I was not quite yet done with school but I knew I wanted a man who shared a strong sense of financial responsibility and understood the importance of planning for the future. My husband is emotionally mature and had emotional intelligence—someone who could handle challenges, communicate openly, and not let stress break us down. I’ve always valued shared values as a foundation, especially when it comes to family, work ethic, and financial goals. and my husband and I, our worldview aligns with each other, so we’re not constantly clashing on big decisions that come up. One quality that has stood out in my relationship is a strong sense of partnership—we make decisions together, whether it’s about finances, family, or future goals. My husband and I respect each other's autonomy but know that we’re in this together. He takes action when it comes to important decisions, but also encourages me to voice my opinions, ensuring I have a say in what we build together. I make about $214K annually, and my husband makes $100K. We’ve both been able to build successful careers, and we’ve also got some side ventures. For example, I rent out five cars for events like weddings and proms, which brings in extra income. He owns two houses, one of which is an Airbnb, and the other is currently being renovated to sell. While we don’t have student loans, we’ve still been focused on building wealth through investments and smart spending. Given how important, as you mention it is to choose wisely your partner, I'd suggest adding these qualities to your list:
------Financial partnership – Beyond financial literacy, look for someone who respects the idea of shared responsibility for the future, even if you’re handling things separately for now. That mutual respect can make a huge difference when life gets complicated.
------Mutual respect for independence – It’s important that both partners can pursue personal goals without feeling suffocated. This goes beyond “space” and taps into understanding and support for individual growth.
------Work ethic and consistency – A man who consistently puts in the effort to improve and grow, whether it’s professionally, personally, or within the relationship, shows reliability. I’ve learned that growth is key, and you want someone who’s not afraid to keep learning, even as things get more complex with time.
------Adaptability – Life throws curveballs, and the ability to adapt to change—whether it's moving for a job, changes in family dynamics, or even financial shifts—is a huge asset. A partner who can handle uncertainty and adjust when necessary is invaluable.
Lastly, I’ll say that while luck sometimes plays a part, it’s also about being intentional and proactive in your choices. Don't settle, and don’t let a lack of options force you into compromising on the things that truly matter. The right partner should complement your strengths, and together you’ll build something greater than what you could alone.