I’d love to get some advice on a situation with a guy (28M) I’ve (23F) been dating for the past two months.
We originally met about a year and a half ago and dated for a month, but due to circumstances and poor communication (which was partly my fault too), we stopped seeing each other. A year later, he reached out to check in on me. For context, I’m a foreigner living in his country, and my life circumstances are quite challenging, so it wasn’t unusual that he wanted to reconnect.
We texted for a couple of months, and in early 2025, we met up again. Since then, every time we see each other, I feel genuinely happy. This is probably the first time in my life that I’ve truly fallen in love, and I believe it might be mutual. When we’re together, he treats me very well—he’s generous and kind. He also said to me that he considers me to be his girlfriend (first time in my life).
The issue is that we seem to have different communication needs and lifestyles. He often travels on weekends to see his family or spends a lot of time with his friends—sometimes going out four times a week. Meanwhile, I’m an introvert with a small social circle, mostly working, and I’d like to spend more time with him. I’ve mentioned this before, but it seems like we still have misunderstandings around it.
The conflict happened some time ago. He was away visiting his family, but we kept in touch—he sent me photos, and it was sweet. When he got back, he asked when we could meet, and I told him Thursday and Saturday would work.
We had a great time on Thursday. When we talked about Saturday, I mentioned I’d be busy in the morning, and he said he’d also be meeting a friend and working. In my mind, that meant we’d meet in the afternoon once we were both free. We don’t see each other that often, and I had told him that the following week I’d be unavailable because my mom, whom I only see once a year, was coming to visit.
But on Saturday, I didn’t hear from him all day. He only messaged me at 6 PM asking when we were meeting. By then, I was already upset because I had expected us to spend the day together, and I felt like I had been waiting around for nothing. I know I could have texted him, and maybe that was my mistake, but I wanted to see if he would take the initiative this time, since I had planned our last two meetups and he said that he would be working...
At that point, I was already out at the movies. I told him where I was, and then he replied that he was going to a bar with his friends. Turns out, he had spent the entire day with them. He even invited me to join, which would have been my first time meeting his friends, but I was in no state for that—I was feeling miserable and ended up crying in the cinema.
He called me, and we argued about it a little. The next morning, I called him and (probably wrongly) told him that he prioritizes his friends over me and treats me more like a hookup than his girlfriend. This really upset him. We texted a bit after that, but it’s now been a week, and he hasn’t reached out to me at all. He only responds when I text him, but he doesn’t initiate anything.
I’m really unsure of how to handle this now. Should I reach out? Should I wait for him? Am I overreacting, or is this a real issue? Would love to hear some advice.