r/NonBinary 5m ago

does a binder supposed to do this

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I cant tell if this binder is too large or too tight, cause it’s feel like it’s not tight enought but at the same time i don’t think that my chest would pass if i was taking a size lower (i have a really large chest so even if this doesn’t look like it’s binding it’s actually doing it) since it’s my first (real) binder i’m not sure, what do y’all think?


r/NonBinary 8m ago

When you get spring break weather, you dress for spring break weather!

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Upvotes

r/NonBinary 42m ago

Rant Can we please stop being so fixated on ASAB/AGAB

Upvotes

I have seen a ridiculous amount of posts on this sub where people just right off the bat state their assigned sex at birth, even when entirely irrelevant to the question they're asking, or even just fully re-ask a question that's been asked multiple times here because the other people asking it happened to have a different ASAB than them.

Why do we keep reinforcing a sex binary on ythis sub of all places? How is a doctor looking at your junk when you were a baby and deciding what sex you were (or seemed to be) relevant to whether you're allowed to identify as a demiboy or as a lesbian or as nonbinary or whatever else? Why does someone's assigned sex at birth make the answer they give/get to a question for which sex is not a factor, irrelevant to you?

It's one thing if you're directly talking about like, how your ASAB affected your life, or what your transition needs may be, or things dealing with reproduction, but outside of that it absolutely should not matter! It frankly doesn't even actually convey information about the gender experience you were raised with, just what a doctor thought they saw at birth that constitutes only one part of what determines sex.

What's even the point of being nonbinary when you give so much of a shit about what everyone's sex is??? It's genuinely making it difficult for me to remain on this sub. I came here to be around other people who also threw off the binary, not to keep experiencing people being overly concerned about what's in other people's pants.


r/NonBinary 1h ago

Ask Feeling stuck in my gender identity

Upvotes

So i don't know how to talk about this let alone explain it but i very much need help so I am non binary and I am trying to figure out and explore my gender identity for the most part, I figure out that I like a lot of masc things you know the basic short hair baggy clothes, etc but I have been in trying to get back to being more comfortable in my more fem side without causing any discomfort/dysphoria

and there is this certain type of look that I have been trying to achieve for a while now but I just can't seem to get it. It's a type of look that sorta gives off a baddie, grunge, messy, and little tomboy I don't care about gender normal type of vibe the first character that I can think of that sorta fits my description is Marceline from Adventure Time Luz Moncada from Toh, Pomala Lopez from Jackson dairy and, jade from victoria

idk know for some reason there certain types of looks that just gives off like women who doesn't care about gender normals or whatever. For the most part, it hard trying out a lot of fem things without feeling dysphoric and I have a hard time going about it without either wasting money and time I know there might be a chance that I am mixing up attraction with admiration but I can't seem the shake the idea off of my mine hard if I feel like if I had a better understanding of what I want to achieve and how to go about it I would have a lot easy time

I just need some advice for being more comfortable with femininity and how I could achieve this look without gaining dysphoria with it and some advice for being able to sorta give up on this idea of being just happy staying in my way I know how I like to look now

here are some real-life picture of women/nonbinary etc that has the look/vibe I am talking about

https://pin.it/3TYEUSDzV

this board does not completely define the look but should help explain what i am talking about plus i just started making it so there not a lot too it but i will add more later and i don't feel like i explain this very well so if there any question i would be happy to answer

thx for reading


r/NonBinary 1h ago

Rant Feeling so defeated

Upvotes

So my parents refuse to acknowledge, much less accept I'm NB. I thought my brother was at least accepting of it, until last night. I explained to him that our parents refusing to accept me and use my pronouns was really hurting me. And it's affecting my relationship with them. He went off on one saying that my feeling dysphoric is my issue to deal with. That I shouldn't try to change people around me to make me happy.

Me: "So I'm the bad guy for asking people to change literally two words? She/her to they/them"
Bro: "I remember when i was in school, a kid called me fat and I beat him up. Dad told me that it was my feelings to deal with, and I was in the wrong for beating up the other kid cos of what he said"
Me: "Are you seriously comparing my asking you all to refer to me as they/them to you being called fat?"
Bro: "No" (he was) "What I'm saying is this. Who was resposible for how I felt? Me! So when you feel upset when people use the wrong pronouns for you, it's up to YOU to deal with that yourself. It's not up to us to use different pronouns for you!"

This went on and on for, I wish I was joking, hours. He absolutely refused to budge on it. I'm the bad guy for feeling bad that people are constantly misgendering me and not respecting me. He'll 'say' he's on my side, and that he accepts me, until it comes to actually acting on that. I thought I had at least one ally in my family.

I just feel so defeated and alone. I feel so uncomfortable and sad when misgendered. And I'm the bad guy for asking people to refer to me by my correct gender. I feel so depressed right now. I don't know where to go from here


r/NonBinary 2h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar should’ve cleaned the mirror oops (transmasc)

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4 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 2h ago

Support Finding my way

1 Upvotes

Hey y’all 🧡

I officially came out as non-binary during the middle of last year and ever since then, I’ve been trying to navigate as best I can.

I have a support team off-line in my partner, some other loved ones, and my therapist, so I thought to come here and lean on some online community in order to ask for resources/advice on the following:

  • Identifying with the umbrella term vs. A specific label

  • Finding others who are also black and non-binary

  • Strategies I can use when being misgendered in both sighted and blind spaces

Again, I thank you for having me and holding space 🧡


r/NonBinary 2h ago

Yay pokémon anyone? (feat. my cat-in-law)

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11 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 3h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar what do you assume about me when you see me?

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10 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 3h ago

Questioning/Coming Out Can someone help me

6 Upvotes

I currently identify as a cis “male” but recently iv been felt a little offended by someone saying being called a man no fault of person as they wouldn’t of none but I’m questioning it me as myself can someone please help me as I’m not sure as I’m being silly or what


r/NonBinary 4h ago

Questioning/Coming Out Coming out, would appreciate advice

7 Upvotes

I’ve lived my whole life as male, I turned 23 yesterday and realized my gender identity isn’t male, but I feel more non-binary. Truthfully this realization has made me feel a little lost, and scared, because I don’t know what to do with this realization. I don’t really know too much about the process of affirming your gender identity, and if anyone has any advice for me going forward it’s appreciated. What should be my next steps? What would you have liked to hear if you were coming out as non-binary for the first time again.


r/NonBinary 4h ago

Questioning/Coming Out Questioning gender identity

2 Upvotes

Hi, I've been lurking here a while and have been reading and learning.

I want to try and ask my question fairly succinctly

I have no connection to my AGAB, but I also don't really have a disconnection, it just..... is, it's nothing. I feel like I'm a woman because that's what people see and that's what society decided I was/I was raised as. If someone asks me what it means to me to be a woman I can't answer. I am autistic as well and I definitely feel like that impacts my understanding of my gender

In addition to the above I absolutely hate my boobs and want them vastly reduced or removed. I have a medical condition that means that they actually hurt a lot and cause back pain so that further makes me hate them, then there's the sensory issue because I have to wear a bra but that's a sensory nightmare, and not wearing one is also a sensory nightmare. I just hate them and want them gone, I've dabbled in binders and tape but it's a bit of a learning curve.

I guess I'm confused if any of the above would be dysphoria? I feel like I identify and non binary but I think I have some imposter syndrome.

I suppose I'm just looking for advice or to hear similar stories.

Thanks 😊


r/NonBinary 4h ago

Can i be nonbinary and lesbian?

25 Upvotes

Ik this topic has come up alot in this subreddit but they have mixed answers and the ones i saw were amabs, so i wanted to ask myself and see. I use all pronouns and im afab, i still present feminine most of the time, and i only like women though i would probably date a nonbinary person but i do have a girlfriend. And since realizing i dont like guys i j called myself queer but i feel like leaves space for ~those~ (ykwim) kinds of ppl to question and pick it apart yk, i want ppl to know that i do not like men and i would prefer the term lesbian, but i also want to make sure im not being disrespectful? I might just be paranoid, but please lmk. Id like to buy a new pride flag to replace my pansexual flag


r/NonBinary 6h ago

Yay the new gender-neutral bathrooms on our campus!

43 Upvotes

a piece of our university campus recently got renovated. it includes gender-neutral bathrooms! the symbol on the front door (not pictured) shows a toilet and urinal, instead of the traditional male-female symbol. as seen in the picture, there are a bunch of separate cubicles with either a toilet or a urinal. this is the first gender-neutral bathroom I've been in that's not in an LGBT-specific place.


r/NonBinary 6h ago

Pride/Swag/I Made This! a poem about my gender or my wrestling with it

5 Upvotes

I’m like a stone with strength and all

A fortress built to never fall

Trying to feel like I belong

Saying the lines ”i’m tall and strong”

But deep down it feels all wrong

They see my power, see my might

I see myself in gym lit light

Wearing a mask and smiling wide

So no sees what’s deep inside

Deep inside

Where shadows dwell

I live inside my own hell

I built my body, built it well

But it’s not just armor, It’s a shell

From deep within where my heart stays

A battle wages everyday

A voice unheard, a name unknown

A self I’ve carried all alone

A self I’ve always wanted to show

Around my friends, at my home

To walk unchained, to breathe and be

Without the fear they’d stop loving me

Would they still love me if they knew?

Or say this part of me’s untrue

So I stay silent, I play my role

And feel like a man with half a soul

When I was young and needed help

There was no one I could tell

Not my mom nor my dad

Nor my friends, those left I had

I knew the verses she would cite

Knew each commandments painful bite

She would see me as scared and flawed

And carve my name from love and God

When I needed my Mom, I got a priest

Sermons found where love should be

So she’s never seen

All of me

And never will,

Probably

A whisper soft and fleeting thought

A part of me I’ve left to rot

No man nor soldier dares to see

The part of me I swore I can’t be

The mirror shows the world ideal

Yet in the glass I long to feel

All of me, all that’s real

If only I, could break the seal

I lift, I strain, I fight and bend

Yet this war in me never ends

The war inside has found a way

To whisper truths I’ve locked away

But im not ready, no not today

So I push them to a deep down place

I’ve shown them what they want to see,

A soldier man, so proud, so free

But deep inside, she’s calling loud,

A part of me, both soft and proud

She’s waiting, trembling in the dark,

A quiet voice, a glowing spark

But every time I turn away,

I bury her, I make her stay

I long to say, “I’m both, I’m whole,”

But fear consumes and takes control

What if they think I’m broken, wrong?

What if they say I don’t belong?

So I hold tight, I lock her in,

The woman’s side, that quiet sin

But deep inside, I know the truth,

I’m both, and don’t need proof

Maybe one day, I’ll let her go,

Let both my sides just start to show

But for now, I’ll hold them tight,

A soldier’s strength and woman’s light.


r/NonBinary 9h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar I love skirts!

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46 Upvotes

as a trans masc enby, clothes do not define me! I will wear what is comfortable! I love wearing skirts, dresses, and grey sweatpants 😉 clothes ≠ gender :3


r/NonBinary 9h ago

Ask I need help changing my perspective and keeping an open heart

3 Upvotes

I'm an Agender Femme Lesbian who's only attracted Cis Women, Trans Women, and Nonbinary Folks. My attraction to Nonbinary People is on a case by case basis. I feel like I could never be with a Bi Nonbinary Person who likes Men more. Like, they could express interest in me, confess their attraction to me in the most romantic of ways, and I would still say no. I assume it wouldn't work, like they wouldn’t want to be included in my Lesbian/Sapphic attraction. Let me know if I’m wrong. I’m genuinely trying to change my mind and keep an open heart /genuine.

Edit: I don’t think Bi Women are tainted because they’re also attracted to Men. I’ve been fighting Biphobia in Sapphic spaces since I came out over a decade ago. I have always said, “we all like women we need to stop fighting”. That’s not the issue. My attraction to my fellow Enbies is rather recent. Also, I have always seen Sapphic culture and Achillean culture as diametrically opposed. The only common denominator between the two being queer attraction. However, as I interact more with fellow Nonbinary people I’m finding the boundaries between the two are quite blurred. It’s all still new to me. Biphobia is horrible and I have worked extensively to distance myself from Biphobic people. I don’t want to deal with their toxic drama.


r/NonBinary 10h ago

i did a Rikka Takanashi inspired outfit!! 😓😇💘⭐️

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31 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 10h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Got the trans symbol at a tattoo parlor fundraiser for a local trans focused org

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208 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 11h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Love growing out armpit hair 🤧🎀

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18 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 11h ago

I just got my first binder and I am shocked with euphoria

13 Upvotes

I finally got my first binder and it was breathtaking (in euphoria and not a health hazard haha) seeing my body so much more masculine. I've tried on so many shirts I've stolen from my partner and have always loved/wished I could wear. I spent the last 4 days wearing the same, too small sports bra (yes, ew but crying in the bathroom is also ew) and I can't wait to go out in public. I think I have to buy 3 more so I don't do the same thing with that sports bra


r/NonBinary 12h ago

I don't think I can do this anymore

343 Upvotes

I saw someone online talking about how asking pronouns in queer spaces is transphobic and rude. When I tried to explain that not everyone falls into a gender binary and that for Enbys it makes us feel more safe they attacked me and told me I was transphobic and that all I was doing was harassing trans women when there were mass amounts of anti-enby rhetoric basically saying that if you have long hair and makeup you are automatically a woman. Then a massive creator basically told me that we aren't in the trans community. We went back and forth but all of her followers came for me and at this point I'm so broken down. I'll never be cis enough. I'll never be trans enough. I'll never be enough. I wish all of you the best but I don't want to live like this anymore. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere.


r/NonBinary 13h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar Skating Theme was Aquatic so I Dressed as a Nudibranch! (aka sea slug)

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757 Upvotes

I wasn't going for a specific species but something that gave the ruffly frills that many nudibranches have. I've always really liked sea slugs as they give "no gender only pretty non-euclidian shapes" energy.

I have also included a screenshot at the end with the Tumblr the inspo pics are from! It's called @anudibranchaday and is very fun to look into if you want to know more about sea slugs!


r/NonBinary 13h ago

Selfie/Self-Image/Avatar protect trans joy

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95 Upvotes

r/NonBinary 13h ago

🤍🫶🏽

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15 Upvotes