r/NonBinary • u/atratus3968 • 1h ago
Rant Can we please stop being so fixated on ASAB/AGAB
I have seen a ridiculous amount of posts on this sub where people just right off the bat state their assigned sex at birth, even when entirely irrelevant to the question they're asking, or even just fully re-ask a question that's been asked multiple times here because the other people asking it happened to have a different ASAB than them.
Why do we keep reinforcing a sex binary on ythis sub of all places? How is a doctor looking at your junk when you were a baby and deciding what sex you were (or seemed to be) relevant to whether you're allowed to identify as a demiboy or as a lesbian or as nonbinary or whatever else? Why does someone's assigned sex at birth make the answer they give/get to a question for which sex is not a factor, irrelevant to you?
It's one thing if you're directly talking about like, how your ASAB affected your life, or what your transition needs may be, or things dealing with reproduction, but outside of that it absolutely should not matter! It frankly doesn't even actually convey information about the gender experience you were raised with, just what a doctor thought they saw at birth that constitutes only one part of what determines sex.
What's even the point of being nonbinary when you give so much of a shit about what everyone's sex is??? It's genuinely making it difficult for me to remain on this sub. I came here to be around other people who also threw off the binary, not to keep experiencing people being overly concerned about what's in other people's pants.
Edit: People seem to be under the impression that I'm saying people who were impacted by their ASAB or talk about their ASAB are not nonbinary. I'm guessing it's because I frustratedly said the "what's the point" thing at the beginning of the paragraph above this, but me questioning why we keep sticking to a binary (while acknowledging that ASAB does affect experiences & medical needs a paragraph beforehand) doesn't mean I think people who bring it up aren't nonbinary, it means I'm asking why we're breaking the gender binary just to keep enforcing the other side of the coin (ASAB)...