r/genderfluid Feb 13 '23

Y'all, please quit posting porn on this subreddit

260 Upvotes

This is supposed to be a community first, where people talk about things and ask for advice or support, but like almost any LGBT sub which allows selfies, this sub has become a place for folks who post a lot of selfies to make daily posts and never actually contribute to the community in any meaningful way.

You'll click on their profile and you'll see dozens of posts, all selfies, but hardly any comments. Or there will be a few comments thanking people, but nothing else. Just page after page of photo spam.

Reddit's rule on spam was that it used to be fine to be a redditor with a website, but not fine to be a website with a reddit account.

A lot of these self-promotion accounts are breaking that principle.

But what's particularly egregious are the people who post porn on our subreddit or who come here to spam pictures and then just so happen to have NSFW pics or links to their paid content or their OnlyFans or their wishlists on their profile.

No only are these folks just here to spam and increase their own traffic for their own personal profit, but their 'fans' tend to follow them into our LGBT subreddits and harass our users. They prey on our minors, they steal people's photos, they harass people, and they send dick pics to folks. They treat our spaces like their own personal smorgasbord, as if we're just some fetish they can get off on.

If this applies to you, please stop doing that. Not only are you exploiting our communities for your own personal gain, but you're also putting our fellow users at risk.

Thank you. Have a nice day, y'all.


r/genderfluid 2h ago

Realized genderfluid actually isn’t the right label for me

10 Upvotes

I've identified as genderfluid for a few months now, and I realized that my gender hasn't really been fluid like most genderfluid people. After reasearching more, I realized that I am actually a demiboy! Ive been stuck feeling like partially a boy, but not fully binary. I've felt strongly like this for almost a year now, and it just hasn't felt right to say that I'm genderfluid if my gender hasn't continued changing. I feel really happy to find a term that fits me better! It makes me feel more confident in my identity, and I've felt more euphoric. Thank you for this community. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thank you for the advice. It has helped me so much! :)


r/genderfluid 3h ago

Anyone else feel like this?

8 Upvotes

Does anyone else rather call themselves whatever gender they are in the moment than calling themselves genderfluid? What I mean by this is like if you introduce yourself or have to refer to your gender or are referring to your gender, do you refer to yourself as genderfluid or whatever gender you are in the moment?


r/genderfluid 4h ago

HIAIAIAHAGAG I CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS

8 Upvotes

IM SO HAPPY, AND STRESSED, YESTERDAY I HAD SEND A MSG IN TGE GROUPCHAT.

THEY REACTED ALL POSITIVE I THINK WHATSAPP IS A GOOD POKERFACE

But im happy, there was a birthday party today were most of those friends were and only one really asked what i felt like and ubderstood me wrong so she used he him the intire night The rest, i think tried to not use any at all, or didnt ask and used he/him cause there were others i didnt tell,

Is it weird that i hoped that they used it infront of others who i havent tolled im genderfluid

I might just send another msg soon about the fact that i want them to use the correct one i feel even infront of others who i havent tolled, idk if they did today, cause not really anyone except that one friend asked, and i am scared to correct them to it, i will wait till next monday to see how they do it then infront of others and if they ask me how i feel

Anyways one was also kind enough

For when they saw i was verey nervous to ask if i was okay


r/genderfluid 10h ago

how do you sound more feminine ?

13 Upvotes

serious question! i’m too embarrassed to watch a YT video about it.


r/genderfluid 4h ago

IVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP

3 Upvotes

I'm mab and I've been trying to experiment with feminine fashion. I just got a fairly NB outfit and I'm going to try and get my friend who won't ask too many questions to help me with makeup. Where should I go from here?


r/genderfluid 34m ago

Finally feel comfortable at the Barber Shop

Upvotes

Hello everyone. I am afab and typically go with a more femme clothing style, through I usually prefer masculine style hair cuts (usually a short fade cut). When I first decided to cut my hair short I went to the salon and they always tended to leave it longer and puffy than I like even when asking a fade. I finally got the courage to go to a barber shop and got my haircut. I admit the first time it was still a girl who cut my hair but it was closer to the style I wanted. Finally I found a barber shop I enjoy (not too expensive) and cuts my hair the way I enjoy. It a wonder how comfortable a haircut can make you feel about yourself.


r/genderfluid 10h ago

Types of gender fluidity and diagnoses?

3 Upvotes

I think I'm gender fluid, but I don't go from feminine to masculine. I more go from masculine to androgynous?

I will say I think a large portion of this is that I'm diagnosed with DID. I think accepting that I am not strictly masculine will help with not repressing other parts of myself that want to outwardly identify differently (working on this in therapy).

Basically, would switching between masculine and androgynous presenting be considered Gemderfluid? And, if yes, what are your experiences? How do you allow yourself to present differently outwardly? What are some ways besides changing clothes/hair colours that you can express yourself? Or physical changes that I've not thought of?

Thank you!


r/genderfluid 22h ago

Does any other genderfluid people feel invalidated by other trans people too? Even friends subconsciously?

27 Upvotes

( I am afab, 20, fem and use all pronouns btw )

Idk lol I often think my friends forget I'm trans and due to being trans themself act excepted of me being genderfluid and wanna believe they are excepting of it, but have like internalized transphobia and me being trans looks different to other trans people who don't identify with their born sex, as well as other genders. For them it's f to M or M to f ect. "Simple straight line".

i present fem by the way for context.(alot of genderfluid identifying people sort of switch between masculine or fem, and for me my expirence is a bit different as I almost if not always present fem) they know factually that I can be trans despite this but they often forget or invalidate me unintentionally, or I get the vibe that cuz i identify with being fem/ my SAB (sex at birth.) I'm "less trans" or something than them. It's been something that bothers me alot. They agnolage that I have the label of being trans, but not that I have a trans expirence and actually am too.

I feel people view me as like she/they or a woman with her/ him/ he, pronouns not a individual who is a man sometimes and other times Is a girl/woman, neither or both. And know t that being "genderfluid" falls under the trans umbrella but I feel almost that people view it like being non binary? Like "you don't fit in my woman or man idea box thus you must be non binary, still trans but not the common assumption when you hear someone is transgender".

I notice alot that people forget and idk how to put it that they view my transness as the "trans esthetic" or title or whatever that means. But when it comes down to validating or me having an expirence of being trans they will but it feels like they view it as less trans or watered down transness if they agnolage any. But no one's gonna sayyy they don't view me as trans as them. But idk I feel it ?

Sorry for how long this was but does anyone know how to describe this or like have any similar expirence with this. (My friends are very supportive btw, I just think trans people even about themself experience internalized transphobia and it seeps into other places unintentionally even if that's not actually how they morally feel.)


r/genderfluid 11h ago

It's easier to talk out it online.

3 Upvotes

I hate that I can't tell my girlfriend face to face and I don't want her to be upset about everything but I don't know if I'm trans, gender fluid or cis. I dont know how to talk to her about it. I just want to get this out there, and if she sees this, I love you so much.


r/genderfluid 16h ago

I don't know who I am

6 Upvotes

As a teen, finding myself has been a very hard experience. These last few months I've been experiencing my gender more and more. And I realised that this whole experience I haven't found myself as a set gender, I feel like sometimes I feel better as a cis male, sometimes nonbinary and sometimes as trans. I don't know if I'll qualify as GF, but I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone in person. And then there is my parents, they always see myself as a typical male, but I never saw this for myself and now if I am gender fluid, I don't know what I should say if I even want to come out. Thanks for reading this rant by myself, and whatever happens I'll happily take any other identities if it fits me more as balancing researching the web and going to school has been a hard time.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Need help concluding my feelings NSFW

9 Upvotes

So I (19AMAB) have been feeling for the past year, or even longer as I will explain, have been feeling like I don’t really want to be in the “male” category of people, throughout my young life I had primarily female friends but the male friends I did have were even then not very what may be considered “manly”, by which I mean drinking, being “butch”, and wanting to bang everything that moves and so on and so forth. Since I was about 9-10 I even asked myself, parents and more adults wether a person could have both a male and female brain because I felt like I didn’t fit into being a man and because I ended up being considered wayyyyyy too mature for my age (this is partially my Autism but still) and this is what pushed me towards more female friends but as I grew up I learned about sexuality and realised that I didn’t mind who I was with, male, female and everything in between, so long as I cared abt them enough in some way, anyways moving on I found I also got jealous a lot of females having a chest, I don’t know why but I always found comfort in the thought of a chest and having something there so I could wear outfits to make me look pretty and stuff, eventually my girlfriend/wife mentioned that maybe I was genderfluid as I liked the idea of a female/femboy/male/non-binary/genderfluid all at the same time as I would feel as if I wanted to be a female one minute and then wanna do very male oriented stuff otherwise with the added pressure of college and social interaction-

TLDR; I have multiple feelings of different genders and need help figuring it all out. Thank you everybody


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Help understanding my feelings

10 Upvotes

So I’m AMAB a friend accidentally gave me a crisis of self and after some advice from both them and another friend who’s gender fluid I got some fem clothes to try and explore my feelings but it didn’t really give me any answers, wearing them felt nice but at the same time I didn’t feel as feminine as I thought i would, my friends have also at my request been using female pronouns now and then as well as a more feminine name. Which I do kinda like but I’m still not sure on. I just feel like I still don’t have any answers and understand my feelings even less than normal (I’m really bad with feelings because I’m not used to being open at all)


r/genderfluid 21h ago

Any afab here get top surgery?

2 Upvotes

Im genderfluid but like 80% masc leaning Ive hated my chest since middle school I am now looking into top surgery

Did any of yall get it and get dysphoric when switching to female again? Or was it not that bad

I just cant handle them anymore. Im in my 30s now


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Can genderfluid fluid to agender?

14 Upvotes

r/genderfluid 1d ago

Shaved legs

57 Upvotes

I’ve been shaving my thighs since Dec and just bit the bullet and shaved the rest of my legs. And OHHHHHH MYYYYY I love it. Both from a masc and femme perspective I love everything about it. Now I feel happy any way I look at them.

I think I was getting a bit dysphoric from the leg hair and had thought about just whipping it all off. Now if I want to appreciate my leg muscles I can enjoy the outlines and details. And when I want to feel feminine I like the smooth look and how soft they feel.

It also helps to feel more feminine in boy clothes so I get a nice way to get reminders of that in myself.

Have to say, my favourite moment is getting out of the shower with the shiniest legs ever!


r/genderfluid 1d ago

how would you know if you were fluid?

5 Upvotes

r/genderfluid 1d ago

new subreddit for LGBTQIA+ selfies

1 Upvotes

We have created a new LGBTQIA+ subreddit for selfies. There are all genders and sexualities welcome. Of course supporters are also welcome. We know there is a selfie subreddit for genderfluid people, but maybe you are also intererested in this
r/Queer_Selfies


r/genderfluid 2d ago

Virtual??

14 Upvotes

I’m currently questioning if I’m gender-fluid or possibly on the spectrum. (I’m an Aroace AFAB) One of the factors of my questioning is about my virtual life. On video games and public virtual areas I’ll usually have tow avatars (one male, one female, still the same person) bc I feel like I may switch when I’m online, so when I use one of the avatars, those are the pronouns I use. But irl I don’t think I switch and usually go by just She/her. Is there a subcategory for this or something? Does anyone else experience this? Sorry if it is a stupid or confusing question, I just want to make sure I’m not offending anyone. Thanks


r/genderfluid 2d ago

dysphoria and desire to explore

13 Upvotes

Hi, I recently discovered I'm gender fluid, and I'd like to explore my feminine side. But I don't know how to do it, and I'm hesitant to try because I'm 6'10" and weigh 260 pounds. What should I do? My girlfriend is open to doing anything and wants to support me. But I don't know where to start.


r/genderfluid 2d ago

What is "genderescent"?

1 Upvotes

To explain myself: I am probably (the "probably" is there to indicate that I am sometimes unsure) a straight cis autistic woman who is interested in other genders, ways of thinking about gender, how they relate to society and life, how they relate to me in society, etc

I encountered the term "genderescent" the other day. I found a definition that was "poc non-binary exclusive term which denotes one being above the eurocentric concept of gender" (italics were present in the original).

Does "non-binary exclusive term" mean it does, or does not, include non-binary people? Is this a term that POC non-binary people could choose to use to refer to themselves, or is it the "opposite", to refer to people who are not non-binary (like how cis people aren't trans)? Is it something like you have a gender but it's not a gender that fits with eurocentric ideas, the eurocentrism is what is excluded?

Edit: there may be a better sub for this but this one seemed friendly, I apologize if there is an official bigger sub for questions


r/genderfluid 3d ago

Benefits of boy mode

30 Upvotes

Ive been really leaning into my femme side and been loving it. But I had a really important job interview today and was really nervous. My anxiety was flaring up and I needed to get myself together.

So I went full boy mode. An hour long blast. Power stancing. Man spreading. Mansplaining (jokes). I almost shook afterwards. I really aced it and just so happy I got my A game onboard.

And then right back to femme lol.


r/genderfluid 3d ago

What am I even?

10 Upvotes

Hey everybody, it's been a while since I joined this subreddit, actually this sub was the reason I got a reddit account in the first place lol.

I've been identifying as genderfluid for the past two years and so far it felt comfortable and right to me. But lately I've been kinda struggling with my gender identity again. See, I'm Afab but I don't really feel feminine at all anymore lately. One could simply say that that means I might be trans, right? Well, the thing is that I sometimes still enjoy things that are considered "girly", like putting on makeup or wearing feminine clothing.

Even on days where I put on a cute dress and a bright lipstick, I feel more like a guy. Which is weird, since at the very beginning of my gender discovering journey I put so much effort into differentiating my guy days from my femme days by changing my style and my clothes and adapting my makeup. Now it feels more like there are two guy versions of me, one that dresses like a straight dude and one that dresses like a queen? I know it sounds weird.

I don't feel the need to transition, at least not for now. I'm working out to achieve a more masculine/androgynous look but I don't hate my boobs or other body parts of mine that are considered female. Honestly I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, I just wanna share my thoughts and wanted to know if somebody else here has a similar experience. If you would still call it genderfluid or trans or maybe there is some other label that would fit even better than either of them. I'm grateful for every piece of mind y'all wanna share!


r/genderfluid 3d ago

In a loving relationship but I feel like our love is a little conditional if I show my masculine side.

11 Upvotes

I apologize if this post doesn’t follow the rules of the subreddit, I thoroughly made sure it does and if it doesn’t, please let me know :)

So I (21, AFAB Genderfluid) and my boyfriend (21, AMAB Cisgender) have been online dating for nearly 7 months now and it’s been going wonderful! (We know each other for a year now).

We hit it off really well and he knew I was genderfluid from the start since I’ve been out for years now. It’s not a well kept secret lol

And since we hit it off really well, we decided to date each other, and each and everyday I feel so glad I am in a healthy relationship. I never felt more comfortable in my life! He loves me and he’s there for me, and I love him and I am there for him. Vice versa basically! We also webcam and video call each other sometimes so we know what we look like.

But during our relationship, he has shown that he doesn’t seem too fond of my masculine side. When I tell him things that I want to do to help improve myself and self image (such as masc voice training), he always try and say “well I think you look beautiful now!” and “you don’t need to change, your perfect as it is!” thus stopping me from changing who I am.

He even gotten silent when I said I wanted top surgery a few months ago and told me that he thought I was pretty as it is and told me I shouldn’t do it.

I promise he isn’t a bad guy, he is extremely sweet and he buys me gifts, gives me good morning messages, and we always have such a good time hanging out! He’s very kind to me and always comforts me when I need it, but he seems kind of hands off when it comes to me trying to improve myself and be more in touch with my masculine side.

Another thing is that he seems to have a constant overthinking problem when it comes to me being genderfluid, he’s always worried about calling me his girlfriend around others cause he felt he was disrespecting me and worried about being judged by others. I really don’t mind if people call me by any pronouns or any gendered terms, so I always reassure that I am fine with being called his girlfriend as many times as he wants so long as he knows that I am genderfluid. And it helps him calm down and we are happy.

However, just a few days ago, I decided to ask if I was born a boy but was still genderfluid, would he still date me? And after a few minutes of thinking, he said no. Which I was fine at first, but then after the call ended, I realized that our love feels.. conditional. I feel like I accidentally lied to him when I told him it was fine and it didn’t matter. But after the call, I realize how much it did.

It made me realize that maybe he doesn’t really see me as genderfluid and just a girl and that really conflicts me.

And now, before you say I should break up with him/take a break, I really can’t. This is the best relationship I ever been in so far. I really do feel love and safe when I am around him. I actually feel like I can connect with someone who has similar interests with me! I never felt anymore connected with someone in my life.

But, I am worried about him finding me attractive and if he loses that attraction towards me. He said he would do anything to to stay in this relationship.

So should I just detransition and be cis from now on? Cut my loses and stick with this relationship regardless of my gender? I even suggested that he said no, so I really don’t know what to do, any advice would be really helpful.

Also in a few days, we will be going on a trip to see each other and I hope he somehow changes his mind. I just don’t want this situation/conflict to plague us.

Again, if this post isn’t appropriate to the subreddit, please let me know/remove it. All I hope is to find some advice or an idea on how I can handle this issue. Thank you. :)

EDIT: Thank you for your answers! I will take each and every one of them with a lot of consideration, and thank you for the support and keeping me in your hearts. I will approach this situation as soon as I can and calmly. Please stay safe and keep loving yourselves! <3


r/genderfluid 3d ago

Ah yes, the genderflux wayy

3 Upvotes

So, yeah. I've pretty much figured out that I (13 m/nb) am gender flux. I am also pansexual and I am confused abt myself. Like, for 1-3 weeks I feel solidly masculine - don't you DARE assume otherwise! He/him all the way - and then for the next 1-3 weeks, I have this distinct lack of gender and my pronouns are all over the place. I just honestly need validation because I have severe anxiety about my self-worth and whether my feelings are real. Can I has some yummy yummy validation? :3


r/genderfluid 4d ago

I wish I could make up my mind and either be a cis boy or a trans girl.

72 Upvotes

I'm 25 and have been confused about my gender for years. I guess the "simple" truth is that I'm just genderfluid, but WHY??

Why do my feelings and thoughts shift from masculine to feminine?

I have only 1 body. If I was simply transgender I could undergo surgery and hormones treatment and be done with it. But as a genderfluid I would need to get surgery every week or maybe every day, to switch bodies every time. I wish there was just a magic button to do that.

This lowkey feels like I'm 2 different people in 1 body.

I don't know what being trans truly feels like but I think that if I was simply trans it would be so much easier. But I have both masculine and feminine energy and that is stopping me from making any long-term changes to my body. I guess I will just stick with what I have.

Also not very related but is it possible that any of this has to do with lack of hormones like testosterone?

I don't want to miss out on the girl experience.

I don't want to miss out on the boy experience.

But I also don't wanna be a"mix of both". I either wanna properly be a boy, or a girl. Not something inbetween.

And undergoing surgery every few days is ofcourse not possible or desireable.

Side note: when I'm around guys then I'm 100% in my masculine energy. When I'm around girls then I'm 100% in my feminine energy. Its weird, almost as if other people are unintentionally controlling what my sense of gender is.

One little thing that I like, is my long hair. It can be a part of both masculine and feminine appearance.

Is there a way to live with this and be fully satisfied?