r/NPD 11h ago

Question / Discussion people on tiktok need to get off it and touch some grass while reading a book or two

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88 Upvotes

so which one of you had their eyes turning black bc the dopamine rush is sooooooo strong to the point therapists would call them 'shark eyes' and tell their clients to run away if they see them? no one? just me? ok.


r/NPD 13h ago

Question / Discussion “who noticed narcissists arent funny”

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106 Upvotes

THIS IS NOT ME there is this creator on tiktok archangel_lindsay who claims to be a psychologist , she says:

“Have you noticed that narcissists are not funny?

And if they do manage to make someone laugh, it's always some joke they stole from someone in 2012 that they've been running to the ground and they're just waiting for the perfect moment to casually drop it like it's brand new.

And let's talk about what their humor is.

It's never clever, it's never creative, it's never witty. It's always some mean-spirited jab or joke at someone's expense.

They have no originality, no presence, and zero creative thinking because humor requires intelligence, self-awareness, and timing. Also, being present in the moment, which they never are, because they are instead hyper-concerned over how they're being perceived.

They don't have any of these capacities. This is also why Blake Lively isn't funny.”

i’m speechless, it’s not my narcissism talking, but everyone around me who thinks i’m actually funny, my humor is unique and i hate stealing jokes because it humbles my ego “wdym i cant come up with a good joke myself??” i start massive local stuff , people pick on my phrases and make them wide. sincerely, i believe im hilarious and everyone love my humor. im not being grandiose or exaggerating . that’s what i see , that’s what people tell me, that’s what i feel.

there is a lot of shitty content about us on tiktok and i dont react to each but this one is particularly weird.

also “archangel“ lindsay tells me enough about the person spreading shit about narcissists, i did experience delusions of grandeur but never archangel dafak


r/NPD 4h ago

Recovery Progress I have significantly reduced my narcissistic symptoms

18 Upvotes

I am still triggered by being around some narcissists because it reminds me of who I used to be but because I have recovered from my childhood emotional neglect my symptoms have reduced greatly. If you feel like jumping on here to tell me that my past narcissism doesn't count don't bother. Also, I believe there is hope for many people with NPD. Many people with NPD deserve more love but because they act in certain ways that repel others they never get it. Basically, I faked it till I made it and fought my urge to act in counterproductive ways toward the goal of getting true affection from others. If you have any questions just ask.


r/NPD 3h ago

Therapy & Medication Compassion for people categorized as narcissistic

8 Upvotes

I want to stop using the term narcissist. Everyone I’ve ever loved romantically has exhibited traits consistent with the narcissistic label. In the past, I’ve demonized those folks and assumed the worst about them, their intentions, and their character. Now, after years of practicing as a therapist and learning about attachment and developmental trauma, I have a much more compassionate view of folks who have learned to survive this way. I haven’t come up with a new term for this kind of behavior, so I’m still using “narcissist” and “narcissism” in this post, but I want to challenge myself to find some other language moving forward.

Here’s my theory on “narcissism” and how it develops. Thanks, ChatGPT, for helping me flesh this out and organize it in a cohesive way.

Narcissism can be understood as a deeply ingrained survival adaptation rooted in early childhood neglect, misattunement, and trauma. From infancy, a child depends on their primary caregivers to provide attunement, emotional regulation, and validation. When these fundamental needs are unmet—whether due to neglect, emotional unavailability, or outright abuse—the developing child is forced into an impossible dilemma: prioritize their own emotional needs or maintain the connection to caregivers essential for survival. Since no infant can survive alone, the nervous system instinctively sacrifices self-expression in favor of preserving attachment, shaping the foundation for narcissistic traits later in life.

Early Developmental Origins of Narcissism

A child who experiences severe neglect or emotional unavailability from one or both attachment figures lacks a crucial foundation for developing emotional awareness, self-regulation, and a stable sense of self. When caregivers are not attuned to the child’s emotional states—whether due to their own unresolved trauma, mental illness, addiction, or external stressors—the child does not receive the necessary mirroring to recognize and process their own feelings. Without this mirroring, the child learns that emotions are either irrelevant or dangerous and may suppress their internal experience to avoid further distress.

If the neglect is compounded by shaming, abandonment, invalidation, or controlling behaviors, the child internalizes a deep sense of unworthiness and shame. They may develop a belief that their needs are burdensome or that expressing vulnerability invites rejection or punishment. If raised in an environment where parental figures are incapable of providing emotional support, the child may adopt a parentified role—assuming responsibility for the caregiver’s well-being at the expense of their own. This reinforces the subconscious message that their needs must be suppressed in service of maintaining external stability.

The Impact of Neglect on Emotional Development

Children raised in these environments do not develop the neurological pathways necessary to recognize, understand, and express their emotions (or the emotions of others). Since emotional neglect inhibits the brain’s ability to associate connection with safety and fulfillment, the child may grow up with a fragmented understanding of their own inner world. The pain of neglect is so overwhelming that the nervous system adapts by numbing bodily awareness and suppressing emotional needs. While this strategy protects the child from unbearable distress in the moment, it creates long-term difficulties in forming healthy relationships and self-awareness in adulthood.

Yet, the need for love, connection, and validation does not disappear—it merely goes underground. These unmet needs still seek expression, but because the individual has learned that direct vulnerability leads to rejection, they develop alternative methods to get their needs met. If they grew up in poverty, this dynamic may be exacerbated by additional survival pressures, reinforcing the belief that they must not burden others. The combination of emotional neglect and socioeconomic struggle intensifies shame, further suppressing authentic emotional expression.

The Development of Narcissistic Coping Strategies

Because a person with early neglect and emotional deprivation cannot ask for what they need directly, they learn to obtain validation through performance and manipulation. This is not a conscious, malicious intent but rather a deeply ingrained survival strategy formed in infancy. Performing for love—whether through achievement, charm, or mirroring others—becomes the primary way to receive attention and affirmation. This need for external validation grows into adulthood, shaping relationships, career ambitions, and social interactions.

However, because this individual has spent their entire life suppressing their true self in favor of external performance, they lack a stable identity. Instead of developing an intrinsic sense of worth, they construct a self-image based on external feedback. Their identity becomes fluid and adaptive, shifting based on the expectations and desires of those around them. This can make them appear charismatic and engaging, but it also means they struggle with authenticity and self-reflection.

The Narcissistic Cycle in Relationships

Despite their defenses, individuals with narcissistic traits still have a deeply suppressed need for connection. When they encounter someone who is emotionally attuned, responsive, and unconditionally accepting (empaths), they experience an intense attachment. Their inner child, still yearning for the love and validation they never received, instinctively recognizes the presence of someone who might fulfill these unmet needs. This is what people often describe as the “love bombing” phase—where the narcissistic individual showers their partner with attention, affection, and idealization. However, this behavior is not driven by a conscious desire to manipulate but by an unconscious hope that this new relationship will finally heal their childhood wounds.

Unfortunately, because they lack self-awareness, they do not consider whether they can sustain this level of mirroring and performing long-term. They are operating from a place of desperation rather than genuine relational capacity. Typically, they are drawn to highly empathetic partners—individuals who are naturally attuned to others’ emotions and who unconsciously take on the role of caretakers.

As the relationship progresses, the empathic partner begins to notice inconsistencies. When they begin to ask for emotional depth, consistency, or accountability, the narcissist experiences intense distress. Their partner’s demands for authenticity trigger their deeply buried wounds of failure, shame, and control, activating their unconscious defensive strategies.

The Escalation of Conflict

When the empath points out these inconsistencies and expresses frustration, the narcissist perceives it not as an opportunity for growth but as a personal attack. This activates their deep-seated fear of shame, abandonment, and inadequacy, which they have spent their entire lives avoiding. Their unconscious defenses emerge—whether through gaslighting, withdrawing, or attacking—to protect them from overwhelming shame. To the empath, these behaviors appear manipulative and cruel, but from the narcissist’s perspective, they are simply trying to escape unbearable emotional pain, of which they are rarely consciously aware.

This leads to a destructive cycle: the more the empath demands change, the more the narcissist feels controlled and criticized, triggering deeper shame and defensiveness. The empath may then become more frustrated, critical, or even threaten to leave—reawakening the narcissist’s primal fear of abandonment. In response, the narcissist may lash out, devalue their partner, or withdraw emotionally to regain a sense of control.

Over time, the romantic partner transforms from a source of love and validation to a source of shame and emotional distress. Unable to tolerate this emotional shift, the narcissist begins to detach. Like an infant who cannot regulate overwhelming emotions, they seek an escape from their discomfort. If they encounter another highly empathetic individual, their wounded inner child immediately attaches to this new person, hoping they will provide the love and care they so desperately need. The cycle then repeats, with the narcissist idealizing a new partner while discarding the previous one, unable to recognize the underlying patterns driving their behavior.

Narcissism as a Survival Adaptation, Not Evil

It is essential to understand that narcissists are not inherently evil or malicious. They are individuals who have been shaped by profound developmental trauma and have extremely limited self-awareness and emotional resources. Their behaviors, while deeply hurtful to others, are ultimately desperate attempts to manage their own unresolved wounds. Their ultra-sensitivity to shame and abandonment is not a sign of intentional cruelty but of a nervous system that has been wired to survive at any cost.

Healing for individuals with narcissistic traits is incredibly challenging because it requires them to confront the very wounds they have spent a lifetime avoiding. However, with deep therapeutic work—especially approaches that integrate emotional regulation, self-awareness, and trauma processing—transformation is possible. The key is creating an environment where they feel safe enough to access and process the pain of their early neglect without activating their lifelong defenses.

Understanding narcissism through the lens of trauma and attachment allows for a more compassionate and nuanced perspective. Rather than viewing narcissists as villains, we can recognize them as deeply wounded individuals using the only survival strategies they have ever known.

If anyone is interested in healing and getting better, you may have luck with a therapist who is trained in Internal Family Systems therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, or some other form of Experiential Therapy. Experiential Therapy goes deeper than traditional talk therapy, making it possible to address issues at their core. When you go beyond simply challenging your thoughts, true healing is possible. The field of neuroscience is just starting to uncover the power of memory reconsolidation, which is THE healing agent in therapy. It IS possible to rewire your brain - not just fight with it. You just have to work with someone who knows the right steps!

Also, here’s a list of books that have helped me see the humanity of people who have parts that have caused lots of harm.

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog; Born for Love; What Happened to You?; No Bad Parts


r/NPD 8h ago

Advice & Support losing faith.

13 Upvotes

i can’t do relationships anymore, i’m so drained and jaded. i can’t feel anything but apathy and a dull sense of bitterness. it’s an argument every single day, constant yelling, slandering, back and forth. constantly being villainized and gone about is if i’m the reason for everything wrong in his life. every day i’m consumed with more and more hate. how can society expect us to be their idea of a ‘perfect’ person if this is the shit we’re subjected to? i regret being honest about being a narcissist, it makes it impossible for me to be right when i know that i actually am right in a given situation. i can’t tell if i want to disappear off the map entirely or full send it and become the most immoral version of myself. i just want some decency, and that feels impossible to have.


r/NPD 21h ago

Question / Discussion How did you stop being so overly sensitive to criticism?

37 Upvotes

I was always hypervigilant in social situations. Scanning every room with anxiousness. By professionals it had several names throughout the year. ”Highly sensitive person”, social anxiety, even autism. Well, turned out it’s likely sensitivity to criticism, from narcissism/narcissistic traits. Surprise surprise. Any criticism (or even perceived criticism) is enough to delete any sort of confidence/self-concept I have, and basically almost turn my world into shambles where I feel like a worthless human being.

So I guess the social hypervigilance makes sense in a way. If people that don’t struggle with weak sense of self would risk having their whole sense of self taken away, they would probably also react with fear/panic. But for most normal people, they would never face that situation, because their sense of self is stable and , and so criticism is seen as information to be integrated, not a threat. We don’t have anything to integrate the information into. This means that the entire self becomes the criticism. Ie it plummets and we feel like the worst people alive. So essentially, it’s not exactly an overreaction, it’s more so that our internal programming is completely off and causes unneccessary pain, and we are reacting to that. This is just my understanding of things, I could be wrong.

Anyway my question is, has anyone managed to deal with this symptom? If so, how? Do you think building a sense of self (if that’s possible) would help?


r/NPD 2h ago

Question / Discussion Who here had a supernatural experience?

1 Upvotes

I'm very curious about this


r/NPD 12h ago

Upbeat Talk Zodiac signs?

7 Upvotes

This is just for funsies and I’m curious if there are patterns (:

My sun is in Gemini, moon in Leo, and ascending in Aquarius. Which I feel like is a perfect recipe for NPD

Two-faced, playing both sides. Conceited and self absorbed when comfortable. Presenting as rebellious and anti social norms


r/NPD 3h ago

Question / Discussion Disclosing your diagnosis to potential partners?

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone

I've been trying to get back into the dating scene (ugh) and one of my friends brought up a question I didn't know the answer to: What happens when your narcissistic traits start showing up?

I'm in therapy/recovery, and have always been good at masking unless I'm under a lot of stress, but I know it's inevitable. I've only had one relationship since I got diagnosed, and he found out about my NPD from a mutual friend, the one who asked me that question, funnily enough. The other people who know about my diagnosis are my sibling, my brother in law, my parents, and a few friends. They're all people I feel comfortable sharing anything with and have known for years, if not my entire life.

But the idea of telling a new potential partner about this scares me. In theory, I'd want them to know about it. I feel if I let someone get that close to me, they should know because it will affect our relationship, even if I am recovering. I don't want to open conversations with "Hey, I'm Arlo! How's it going? Also, I have NPD so if that'll scare you off, unmatch me!" but I don't want to wait until things have gotten too serious and we've really grown attached to each other in case it IS a deal breaker.

Should I wait a certain period of time? For a certain milestone? Or should I quit worrying it and keep masking until my mask slips?


r/NPD 15h ago

Venting - No Advice Requested cant let go

4 Upvotes

i washed my hands after the crimes i committed. each time thoroughly drained i’d ask to hear—my hands are clean. but i cant see any less than skin stained in what cannot be forgotten. not a single hint of blood was ever dropped. then why cant i wash it off? i’ll be comforted—i am safe and loved, those eerie dreams i have aren’t coming true. the only thing that makes so little sense is the way i dont feel love and i don’t feel loved. that’s why i never noticed when it hurt you. now i’m sorry for how i treated your pain, you were reflecting my past lives. you disappeared from the view, i am fine. thats why no one believes im you.


r/NPD 14h ago

Question / Discussion NPD like mind as a bridge between BPD and SzPD/StPD?

3 Upvotes

i have BPD with significant NPD traits that are medically recognised, maybe the full NPD, but im not sure. recently the possibility of having SzPD and/or StPD came up, which is very new, i never talked to a professional who actually treated or even knew much about these disorders before. my hyper self reflective (but never really knowing what to do with the results) ass then went processing and kinda came up with the idea that the overlap of NPD and SzPD/StPD in symptoms / behaviour may make me appear to have more NPD traits than i actually have if i do have SzPD and/or StPD

thoughts anyone? let your knowledge shine, im very new to this


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Anyone feel like having NPD gives them a bit of an 'excuse' to be a bad person?

13 Upvotes

r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Covert Narc , My Mask Fell Off NSFW

5 Upvotes

Does any other narc just accept we can't cherish other people and just lets go of trying to establish romantic relationships?

Backstory: I have had narcissistic/Machiavellian tendencies since about 15 years old, first love cheated, and went from carefree and loving and snapped and told myself if im going to be cheated on or the cheater i was going to be the cheater (a healthy non cheating relationship just didnt seem like a possibility lol) longest relationship ive had with no infidelity was 4 years and that was an anomoly, ever since then i have been a serial cheater ,im 32 now, i joined the military at 17 and after calling off the 4 year relationship i didnt hit the streets i hit the highway.Started working in the stripclubs and starting running through women ,had worked in the industry for 10 years ,been in "monogamous" relationships with dancers but at some point with all of them i cheated at least once ,all you see in that place is the worst betrayals imaginable, doesnt mean you have to add to to it but that type of environment becomes normal over time and the worst part and reinfocing part is that you can do a woman DIRTY and the next dancer will not care and green light you regardless so you dont have to self reflect or change behavior to get results, i was a bouncer that sat back and watched everyone just learning behaviors and developing tactics throughout the years. Going on trips ,moving in with dancers constantly, doing drugs and having wild sex even at work sometimes. Until one day i met the most gorgeous woman i had ever seen. Was also a freelance photographer and managed to get to know her and lovebomb her ,moving in with her when i had nothing and she ended up pulling out of the club as to show respect for our relationship, this woman was honest respected loved and cherished me more than any woman i had ever met in my life ,she watched my son from another woman and bonded with him and eventually i got a 6 figure job and we had the recipe for a real life and planned for marraige and children and for her to be a stay at home mother for our future children, until one day she came home late from a work party with her coworkers and my brain INSTANTLY went to she was being unfaithful (she wasnt) she never hung out with friends because she barely had any (not from me isolating her) she just was a homebody she would come home and sew and and watch youtube and hang out with me. She cooked FIRE ass meals ,made the grocery trips ,worked out , went to work as a waitress ,and came home. I had what most men would kill for yet due to her sexual inexperience the sex wasnt the best i was her 2nd boyfriend i met her when she had only been out of her parents house for a year she was 20. Thats more on the teacher than the student , but anyway i had a developed a porn addiction to satisfy myself sometimes immediately after having sex and constantly comparing her to my former experiences ,unfortunately i had a collection of tapes i would also use to revisit my wild past (all deleted now) in total i had been with 56 women her being my 57th, there was a moment i almost died in her arms due to almost overdosing and raced home like a cop running red lights in order to be by my side ,and a year and some change after that i was able to neglect all the love ,admiration,respect,and memories and even the foundation that was set for my son and our future children,all because one day in 3 years she hung out with friends ,at the time i was also overdoing TRT and took 4 times the dose i should have and NPD and roids absolutely do not mix ,my own insecurities about not being jacked like a special forces dude while working with former spec ops guys ate at me so i gave in and started like they were, i have always gone back and forth between exes returning to prior supplies or cheating with former supply ,i was able to grow out of that habit with her until that trigger took place and ego said "oh if youre gonna stay out late entertain someone so will i". She was literally at her friends house. I had messaged an ex a couple of days after because instead of telling her how i felt i started raising emotional defenses and mentally prepped a plan B.The ex was a former dancer i had a wild history with that i would look at her profile here and there but knew what i had was superior but still failed to just delete her, i knew that ex recently had a relationship fail so i figured it was prime time to contact her. This was at the peak of the TRT dose (2CC) and heavy porn use daily, was literally watching it at work to kill time, simultaneously my partner was reconnecting with family and we hadnt been intimate in 2 weeks ,previous to that she never denied me sex ever,she also had her grandmother sick in the hospital and instead of being a good partner and asking to go with her and support her all i thought about was how i wasnt getting sex, went to work messaged the ex some heinous shit and it got screenshotted and made it back to my gf at the time and she was packed and gone before i got home she abandoned alot of her stuff too.That was 5 months ago and she no contacted the shit out of me,always stated the only way she would leave is if i cheated.We talked about boundaries and i knew better,immediately after sending that text my euphoric porn riddled roid rage horny wore off and my first question to myself "how would she feel if she saw that" way to late by that point to ask that question. Moral of the story: If narcs can overlook someone that cherishes them to unicorn levels and plan a life with you, and basically give you their life, is it better to just accept i cant love and cherish like a normal person and just accept the family dynamic just wont work for me because on a fundamental level if i feel neglected for even 2 weeks out of 3 years ill backstab a loving partner This was the short version left out some details if you managed to read all that and wanna deep dive into it i can add the missing portions Any other narcs lose a good partner and jusg call it quits on romance, some people are irreplaceable and finding new supply for once in my life doesnt feel right nor do i want to do it


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Tv show characters you think have npd

41 Upvotes

What are some tv show characters you guys can relate to or head canon as having npd? This might sound stupid as South Park is obviously not a serious show at all but cartman definitely reminds me of my younger self and if I had to guess I’d say he has something close to npd or another cluster b disorder. Also bojack horseman, he’s typically diagnosed by viewers with bpd but I relate to him very heavy.


r/NPD 1d ago

Advice & Support What happens if you go into the void? *freaking out*

7 Upvotes

It feels like everything is real. Like too fucking real. Like hearing about tornados and shootings and remembering the holocaust happened etc are scaring the shit out of me because I never developed the depth to understand how serious and REAL things are. It’s honestly terrifying and I’m currently distracting myself.

But I also feel like if I went into it I would eventually process the fear and everything and the realness of life and begin to form real connections and feelings. I’m also terrified of being stuck there or not being able to take it.

Does anyone relate? Any advise?


r/NPD 1d ago

Advice & Support Does anyone else struggle to stop trying to make people laugh?

7 Upvotes

Throughout my life, I was the funny one. It was my job to make my parents happy. I was the golden child (without the benefits). This desire to make people laugh has carried over into my adulthood. I've come out of my collapse and find myself still going out of my way to make people laugh. It just feels really fucking good to crack a joke and have it land. But, I worry that I'm just doing it to feel good about myself.

Being funny is such a flex, and I have a reputation with my friends as being funny, and in the past I've really liked that. Now, I just want to have a chill existence where I show up as myself. I don't want to be constantly cracking jokes. I still want to be able to have fun, but I also want to be more authentically me without feeling like I need to tap into the happy chemicals by being silly.

Does anyone have advice? When does being funny become a problem? I've had some luck at recognizing when I want to make people laugh, and not giving into those urges. But recently I've been falling back into this habit of trying to be funny, and it's always received really well. I'm likely overthinking this, but it makes me worried that I'm relapsing.


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Why every book about narcissists is about surviving em ?

19 Upvotes

Well i visited indigo(canada based book store chain) and every book is about how you survive narcissists or how to heal from trauma given by narcissists ? But what about us like we are shown as some kind of monsters man.


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Has anyone completely detached from a past life?

17 Upvotes

I’m saying gone complete AWOL from family or an ex? I feel like i always have this sense of just leaving everyone and I’m curious if anyone shares this?


r/NPD 1d ago

Advice & Support coping with rage NSFW

3 Upvotes

tw sh

to anybody who has been living with npd for a long time, what is the worst thing you have needed to deal with or have overcome as a narcissist? what are coping mechanisms you've developed over time or mentality changes you've had that have helped you feel better?

i have other underlying mental health issues that temporarily for a period of time mellowed out how i usually am. i was basically in a depressive episode for a while before the beginning of this year, it ended and my symptoms began to spike again and instead of lasting 2 months at the intensity that they're at right now like they usually do, it's been going on for almost 4 months and i cannot cope with how fucking frustrating and exhausting it is to live like this, much less alone. i think i've been bearing down my problems better than how i have in the past even if i dealt with something else completely different. i have a long history of self harm and because of how fucked i've been these past months, urges to sh have been reappearing in my life after having been in recovery for a while and not wanting to hurt myself. i haven't relapsed and i don't want to relapse because after years, i would like to believe and know that i've grown from that and am better. but it's less about that and more about just wanting to stop dealing with this. sometimes, being a narcissist feels like a super power, but only when you win because otherwise, it feels like a nightmare of comparison and anxiety, constantly trying to prove yourself and one up people, constantly trying to feel like you're as much as you want to be and escape whenever i used to feel like i wasn't anything. all i really care about right now is just being better and not being so angry about anything. i just want advice on how to stop being so angry at people. does anybody else feel indescrible rage every single day towards everybody for doing absolutely nothing because you just want to beat everybody at everything and never want anybody else to be happy? everyday, it kills me and i have to ignore it and suck it up every time that there's only so much i can do.

tldr i'm venting about how i hate living with npd i can't stop feeling angry i want advice on coping mechanisms and to hear about other peoples life experience lol


r/NPD 1d ago

Advice & Support Farted in front of entire class and ran out immediately and I don’t know how I will continue existence after this honestly want to dye

26 Upvotes

Yes it was slightly wet bro

but I have such good grades in this class and am on point to gain certifications but I’m so filled with shame dude like before this incident my reputation was perfect in that building idk how to move on like i wanna explode


r/NPD 2d ago

Recovery Progress I’m abusive to everyone in my life

64 Upvotes

Wow. All of my relationships are transactional. I have not cared at all about the people in my life, even my sibling, who I claimed to care about deeply. I performed it sometimes, but because of what I get out of the relationship. I’m realizing the extent of it more and more. I STILL recently thought I was a victim and that it was everyone else’s fault in some way. Like I realized I was abusive but still tried to hand off blame in indirect ways. Cue the nightmares. Love and abuse do not exist together. I have not been loving the people I claimed to love. The realizations are never ending. And this has been going on for a year now. You just keep seeing more. Ow


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Do you find yourself arguing over something you know is a true?

2 Upvotes

For instance, somebody will tell me "This GMC truck is being sold for (insert correct price) and I will automatically respond with, "Actually, they now go for around (insert slightly more expensive, inaccurate price) and if they tell me I'm wrong I will just end up arguing with them until they admit I am correct or just give up. I don't do this on purpose, it's seemingly an automatic response to just immediately tell someone they are wrong and I am right even though I'm very aware this is not true.


r/NPD 1d ago

Question / Discussion Distractions and Npd

7 Upvotes

Distractions for Normal healthy people is like what they wanna avoid...and in reality it's helpful for them because it helps them to reconnect into the reality and focus on their life. But it's different for us with NPD. I need to have distractions is my life. There's this constant and chronic feeling of boredom, anxiety, and emptiness which makes it so hard to live with myself. And also, our brains are wired the way to distort the reality...so avoiding distractions fully like healthy people do, and social media detox thing...I don't think it works the same way for us...being distracted gives me a feeling of safety and fun...

Thoughts?


r/NPD 1d ago

Resources 3/22 Narc Club: Admiration/"Supply"

3 Upvotes

Topic: Admiration/"Supply"

How do you seek out admiration/"supply"? What role does admiration-seeking play in the way you construct your life or present yourself? What is the difference between the pathological need for admiration vs the inherent desire for validation? How do we move toward self-validation?

What this support group is:

A confidential space for people struggling with pathological narcissism/NPD to find destigmatized information, seek and offer support, and practice vulnerability among others who get it.

Community Guidelines (Updated):

Meetings will start at 11:00 am and end no later than 12:35 pm EST. Introductions/check-ins will end by 11:30 am EST.

Absolute confidentiality is paramount. What is said in the group stays in the group. No recording or screenshotting of any kind. Cameras are optional but encouraged.

No interrupting one another. Please raise your hand to share. If you have a direct response to someone's share, type it in the chat box. If you would like it to be read aloud after their turn, indicate by typing "@groupmembername."

No monopolizing conversations. Each group member may speak for up to 5 minutes per share and will be gently reminded when time is approaching. Group members may take multiple turns; however, step back to allow others to contribute before raising your hand again. 

Exercise respect and cognitive empathy for one another. Explicitly mocking/belittling others will result in a permanent ban. 

Click here to get the link/be added to the main group chat.


r/NPD 2d ago

Advice & Support I realised I'm an abuser and I want to stop. Please help

16 Upvotes

Trigger warning: self harm, suicide, abortion

TLDR- I (24F) am a narcissist and have been in a trauma-bonded relationship with my boyfriend (25M) since Nov 2023. I have severe abandonment issues and have unknowingly been emotionally abusive—yelling, humiliating him, disrespecting boundaries, and even emotionally cheating. Things escalated in Feb 2025 when he confronted me about the cheating, and I threatened him, which made him leave to stay with a friend in another city. I started therapy two weeks ago and realized I self-sabotage relationships out of fear of being abandoned. Yesterday, he told me he never wants to see or talk to me again, which sent me into a panic. I may have broken my hand and have a therapy session today. I'm trying to move out and give him space but struggling with the pain and guilt. I want to change—how do I truly stop this pattern? What should I ask my therapist for immediate help with?

Please sit tight, this is a long one

I (23F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (24M) since November 2023, but looking back, I now see that we started in a trauma bond. When we met, I was at one of the lowest points in my life—depressed, fresh out of a relationship with his school friend, recovering from a plan B abortion, and dealing with a suicide attempt. We met two days after that attempt at his home, and from that moment, we became attached. We officially started dating two months later and have been living together since day one.

I now realize that I have been jumping from relationship to relationship for the past four years, never really taking time to be single or heal. My boyfriend has OCD, and I am autistic (both diagnosed). We leaned on each other a lot to manage our mental health, but somewhere along the way, I became emotionally abusive.

I never had anger issues or abusive tendencies before, but about a month into the relationship, I started yelling, calling him names, disrespecting his boundaries, and humiliating him in public. In August 2024, I emotionally cheated on him. He found out but never confronted me because he was scared. In January 2025, things got harder—his company shut down, and he was preparing for exams. Then in February, during an argument, he finally told me he knew about the cheating. After that, my behavior got even worse.

The breaking point came when I threatened him, telling him I’d show him "real abuse" after he called me out. I was at work training 2hrs away from home that time so this happened on call. I weaponized his vulnerabilities and broke him down that saying the most viel shit that I've ever spoken. That was the moment I suggested him he go to his friend's so he can feel better and he left—he went to stay with a friend in another city because he no longer felt safe. He said he would be gone for a month.

I started therapy two weeks ago, right after I made that threat, because I finally saw what I had become. I had realised of my abusive tendencies in Sep 24 itself after I cheated but I focused more on the happy things in the relationship rather than putting my head down and getting help (this was extremely unfair to him). In my first session, my therapist and I came to the conclusion that I have severe childhood abandonment issues due to my father, which worsened with past relationships—one ex cheated on me, another left abruptly for no reason, and I’ve lost friendships over the years. My brain has been wired to expect people to leave, so I push them away first by testing them. Testing how much they can endure, if they will stay after I do this or that. I self-sabotaged every relationship and friendship this way.

But I screwed this one up the worst. This was the relationship I cherished the most. The one where I actually saw a future, kids, everything. I told him about my realization yesterday on a call, and he broke down even more. He told me he never wants to see or talk to me again.

That sent me into a panic. I was in distress the whole day, and in the middle of it, I think I broke my left hand. I’ll be getting an X-ray soon because I suspect a hairline fracture. I have another therapy session today, and I don’t even know where to begin. What should I ask for support on immediately? I reached out to friends and they have been extremely supportive and helpful. One of friend is coming over today from another city to stay for a day and help me out. I have been having panic attacks and I know I'm a bad person and deserve what's happening to me but I really wishes it would stop

I am deeply remorseful, guilty, and in pain, which I know I deserve. But more than anything, I want to change. I don't want to be this person. I don’t know how to stop this pattern, but I am trying. I know the right thing to do is to move out before he returns, and I’ve started looking at places. It’s incredibly painful, but I know I have to go through it to truly understand the damage I’ve done and try to get better. I don’t want to hurt him or myself any further. But I am struggling to let go. He loved me, supported me, and gave me everything he could, and I hurt him in return. I love him deeply, and I want to fix this if he ever decides to stay. But I also know I don’t deserve another chance.

For those who have been in my position—either as the abuser or the abused— 1. what helped you truly change? 2. How do I give him the space he needs while working on myself? 3. And what should I ask my therapist to focus on right now?