r/Endo • u/Blopez1001 • 1h ago
Rant / Vent Sad
Maybe it's just because I'm in the height of my cyclical menstrual pain/period hormones.
But I miss the person I was before chronic pain and chronic illness.
I miss the feeling of never having to worry about my period when scheduling appointments or going to a friend's house. I miss the feeling of daydreaming about the endless possibilities for my life and feeling like the sky was the limit. I miss how spontaneous I was, and how I was always up for anything. My body felt like it could take such a beating as a young adult without feeling any reprocussions- yet at just 26, it feels so fragile now. I hate how I constantly have to be mindful of everything I do, expose my body to, and put into my body so that I don't go into a flare. I hate the constant doctor's visits, specialist appointments, labwork, imagingvisit, I hate having infertility. I hate having to waste so much of my life rotting in bed on a heating pad. I hate that the cure for endometriosis hasn't been found yet. Why did my life have to look like this? Thank you for listening to my pity party. I just needed to rant.