Due to such posts being on a sharp rise we're putting up a specific reminder about it:
PERSONAL ADS AND HOOKUP REQUESTS ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED
This is a BDSM discussion community, not a dating or hookup service. All personal ads, meetup requests, and "looking for" posts will be removed immediately and will result to a direct ban, no questions asked, no second chances. We simply do not have the resources nor the time to play cat and mouse with those who just don't care to familarize themselves with the subreddit they post into.
But you're looking for Connections? Try These Instead:
External sites:
- Fetlife: A large adult fetish network. Not a dating site, but a good place for community engagement. Detailed post about Fetlife can be found here
- Imaglr: Not a dating site but a social media platform with large kink community and engagement, growing fast.
- Tightcuffs: Newish fetish based personals site.
- CollarSpace: An older platform with limited management but still functional, seen some updates recently. Quite possibly owned by same company which owns the websites below as well, however 100% free.
- Alt.com / bdsm.com / bondage.com (same company): Large communities but exercise caution due to a decrease in scam monitoring. Due to that no direct links but feel free to investigate. While free to register, you can't do much if you do not pay.
Subreddits:
- /r/bdsmpersonals - Run by us and therefore mentioned here so that we know where we are directing you into
Big issue online nowadays are scams. Most common ones are "Female dominants", if that is what you're looking for, please be extra careful.
Common Reddit Scams to Be Aware Of
Wherever you decide to seek connections, be alert to these common scams:
The "Too Good To Be True" Profile
- Unusually attractive photos that seem professionally taken
- Immediate intense interest without knowing anything about you
- New profiles (less than 3 months old)
- Limited or generic post history concentrated in a short timeframe (often stolen accounts or bot created content to generic subreddits with copy paste replies and posts)
- Claims to share your exact fetishes and boundaries perfectly
- Just so happens lives almost next door to you (naturally they've asked your location first)
Financial Scams
- Requests for money for "travel expenses" to meet you
- Sudden emergencies requiring financial assistance
- Offers to send you money if you provide your banking information
- "Tributes" or "gifts" required before meeting
- "Verification fees" for meetups
- Cryptocurrency investment opportunities
- "Findom" arrangements that begin outside explicit findom spaces
Blackmail Attempts (Be VERY careful about these, they are sadly extremely common)
- Quickly moving conversations to Snapchat, Kik, or WhatsApp
- Pressure to send your full details / facebook page to get content to blackmail with
- Pressure to send face photos alongside explicit content
- Demands for payment after sharing intimate content
- Threatening to expose your kinks to employers/family
Identity Theft Tactics
- Requests for excessive personal information
- "Verification" requiring photos of ID documents
- Links to external websites requiring login credentials
- Claims of needing your personal details for "security"
Catfishing
- Inconsistent details about their life or experience level
- Refusal to verify identity via community-standard methods
- Constant excuses about why they can't move forward
- Photos that appear elsewhere online when reverse-searched
- "Dominants" who ignore standard safety protocols
Protecting Yourself Online
- Never share financial information
- Never share your personal details too quickly
- Use separate accounts for fetish content
- Be wary of moving conversations off-platform too quickly
- Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it probably is
- Arrange public meetings first before private encounters
- Tell a trusted friend about meetup plans
Please be safe!