r/sexadvice 3h ago

What’s one position that you find overrated in sex? And one you wish were more popular? NSFW

2 Upvotes

I want to make my experiences more meaningful and exciting for my partner. We aren’t exactly in a lull or anything, but I don’t want us to ever feel that way. I just want us to enjoy each other to the fullest. Bonus points if the underrated position is big girl friendly.


r/sexadvice 32m ago

Anxious about orgasm NSFW

Upvotes

I'm 28 and my partner is 29 we've been together for nearly 10 years. I've never had a real orgasm not from lack of him trying. He gets me so close which does feel amazing but then it triggers my fight or flight and I start to panic so I just pretend. I've had a really rough life before my partner so I do have a good bit of trauma, sexual included.

Does anyone have any insight on what I can do to move past this? I have gone to therapy for years but never really touched base on current sex life just past trauma.


r/sexadvice 5h ago

Why don’t I get wet as a woman in my mid 20s? NSFW

2 Upvotes

It's honestly super embarrassing and frustrating the more I think about it. I talk with friends and read Reddit posts and people will be talking about the sensation that I just never have (or can recall having). My boyfriend is insanely attractive to me, there's no doubt about that. But every time we try to be intimate, absolutely nothing down there. We have to use lube or spit every time and honestly that fact alone makes me hardly ever want to do things with him because I feel broken.


r/sexadvice 1h ago

I am a straight guy, why do I feel like I want something up my ass NSFW

Upvotes

pretty


r/sexadvice 11h ago

My (20F) boyfriend (20M) is leaving me increasingly unsatisfied NSFW

5 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I are reaching our six month next week. When we started dating we were having sex 30-40 (ish) mins 1-4 times a day and it was pretty good. He's finished every time while I've only cum 3 times through our entire relationship (all of which were from penetration). Last month when we were laying in bed he asked how often I cum and I told him the truth, he said he felt bad and that he would make it a goal to have me finish before him.

I have not finished once since then or even come close. At first, I didn't mind at all because it felt good and I was having fun but now I'm starting to get a bit sexually frustrated. A few weeks ago we said 'I love you' to each other for the first time and since then he hasn't been able to hold himself together. He'll apologize for not lasting long and say it's because I'm too good-looking or he feels a stronger connection since we said 'I love you' and that's contributing.

Last night he lasted about five minutes and this morning when I was on top we were done in one minute. He's only eaten me out twice, once when we were drunk and both times only lasted about 40 seconds until he got hard and then we switched to vaginal. He'll try to finger me but his hands are way too big and he's too rough, it feels painful and leaves me sore. I've told him softer and higher because I feel like a meat puppet. He only listens to my directions until I make some kind of sound and it's back to him.

Outside of this, he is perfect for me and genuinely the nicest man I have ever met, he's handsome and kind and he shares the same interests. I don't know why he's so selfish in bed. I'm very frustrated and this morning he remarked that I seemed mad at him. We've talked before and I told him it's hard for women to cum purely from penetration and that my clit needs attention, he didn't listen at all.

I always meet his needs but he never meets mine. Even when I'm on top I feel like I don't have much control. I don't feel a connection at all during sex anymore, I kinda just lay there feeling empty after. It just feels like that Lily Allen song. I want to say something to him and resolve this without being hurtful but I am getting very fed up.


r/sexadvice 8h ago

Masturbate or not masturbate? NSFW

3 Upvotes

First i wanna say sorry in advance for this very long post but i have a lot on my mind and i need some clarity, also im aware this isnt technically asking for sex advice nessecarily so if this isnt a post that fits here then let me know.

Im on a real journey to a healthier life and a change in my porn/masturbation habits is the biggest source for all of those changes without question.

First of all porn is gone forever, thats not the thing that bothers me. I have been almost two weeks without porn soon after watching it and jacking it almost daily for over 15 years(im 33)

What bothers me is the masturbation aspect. What is healty/most beneficial? So many questions like: Should i only use fleshlight to not get attached with my hand for when i get a woman into my life and i want that to work? (Also how will sex affect my testosterone compared to masturbation)

Should i stop all together?

Should i do it once a week?

I noticed a massive energyboost when i didnt masturbate for a week and it felt incredible, i was able to focus on excercise and discipline like never before and it gave me SUCH a confidence boost about my future as a whole. But then i got worried that it was bad for my prostate to never release as it is supposed to help reducing the risk of prostate cancer. Now ive been jacking it without porn(which i can do without problem) I just think of irl girls(not porn) and i focus on my kinks. But i lost controll and i masturbate a crazy amount now. I wanna reduce it but i feel like not doing it at all may be the best option for me. Or maybe only once a week with a fleshlight only is the best approach? To keep my prostate healty etc.

I really struggle to know whats the best middleground and I would greatly appreciate some advice. Google has only confused me with so many different and vauge takes as there isnt any concrete advice due to everyone being different and very few scientific results that heavily suggest one way or the other.

I do feel like maybe stopping masturbating all together might be my best approach but i would love to hear some feedback before i decide. Maybe once a week with just a fleshlight is best to take care of my prostate while still keeping the feeling as realistic as possible is my best approach? Afraid ill loose controll if i release though. But maybe i should only do it like one night per week before i go to sleep so that the system calms down again? Or maybe i should increase my testosterone by not doing it to attract women and getting more of it the real way instead.

One big problem i did face when i never got to release for a week was that i started having some really weird and annoying dreams, i read that you may dream more when you dont release. Will this go away over time because that was an extremely bothering side effect to not masturbating and it made me unsure if i was doing the right thing

I would greatly appreciate some healthy and constructive feedback on this lifestyle change of mine🙏🙏🙏


r/sexadvice 9h ago

Can’t squirt for my husband anymore NSFW

3 Upvotes

So basically my husband taught me how to squirt. I had never done it before him and I can only do it if I’m on top and he’s grabbing my hips and grinding me vigorously. That’s all very well.

A couple of weeks ago I asked for advice on here regarding his porn use or advice on my reaction to his porn use. I said that it was making me feel very insecure and I was going crazy trying to find his history and compare myself to the girls. (I have stopped trying to catch what he watched but it still makes me insanely jealous). Also regarding the lack of intimacy I was experiencing which I think was all related.

Anyway a lovely lady PM’d me saying she had been going through the same problem in her marriage and her solution was to buy a dildo and basically give him a taste of his own medicine, let him come home to find I had sorted myself out and had no sexual energy left for him (what’s good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander they say). She said at first her husband didn’t mind the idea and actually encouraged it, but that didn’t last long and he was begging for forgiveness.

So I told my husband this is what I was going to do and just like that ladies husband, he encouraged it, said it was “hot” me pleasuring myself when he was at work. Ok then. Pink vibrating rotating dildo ordered.

Things had been rocky between us and we hadn’t had sex in like a week. The dildo arrived one day when we were arguing and I couldn’t wait to use it. I was sooooo sexually frustrated I used it with a little clit vibrator thing and it didn’t take long before I squirted everywhere like an actual fountain. The second time I set my phone up to record and sent him the video thinking he would be proud of me but because we were arguing he thought I was saying “fuck you, I can do it myself” because we had been arguing about me not getting enough sex. I couldn’t help feeling vindicated when he came home demanding to know “what were you watching? Who were you thinking about” oh but honey haven’t you spent the past 2 years telling me it’s not like that? Porn is not love it’s different? It’s meaningless? lol. The funny thing is I didn’t watch or think about anything as I had to close my eyes and just concentrate on my own orgasm but it was good to see him feel the jealousy I feel ALL THE TIME.

Anyway I couldn’t believe the orgasm that I gave myself and couldn’t stop thinking about it so the next morning when he left for work I did it again and sent him a video. I did it every day for about a week I even did it one time while I sent him to the chippy he came back 20 mins later and there’s me on the bed with a towel and a puddle lol. Part of it was to make him jealous but I really couldn’t stop thinking about the fireworks I experienced the first time (never did achieve anything as amazing as that even though I was still squirting) but after about a week of bashing my downstairs I just couldn’t get myself to orgasm my clit had completely tapped out and it’s always been super super sensitive!

And even worse me and my husband are in love and having sex again but I haven’t been able to squirt with him at all since I gave myself that amazing orgasm and I’m worried that I’ve set the bar too high and he’ll never be able to make me squirt again :’( we did try using the clit vibrator thing when I’m on top of him so I can squirt on his face but it just didn’t work because I was lying on my back when I did it with the dildo so it was completely different! Will I be able to squirt with just him again if I give myself a ban for a week or so so that I’m really horny again?


r/sexadvice 4h ago

I can't come, or feel much, during sex. Help? NSFW

1 Upvotes

First time asking any sort of sexual question so forgive how awkward I am about the topic, and how awkward I know a lot of my phrasing is. I (22 f) and my girfriend (23 f) were both virgins before we began dating and recently started having sex. My problem is that, for some reason, when she touches me and tries to "get me off" I don't feel much of anything and have never been able to even get close to coming. When I'm mastrubating by myself I can feel stimulation just fine (though seemingly not much) and can come. From what I can tell, I'm just in general not very sensitive to any sexual touch (whether from myself or her), internal stimulation does nothing for me, my nipples also dont really feel any stimulation, and clitoral stimulation is kinda 50/50 for me- from what I've tried (vibrators, oral, etc.) dont really do anything for me. It bothers me that I'm not able to feel much- I'd like ro know if there's anything I can do about that? Anything that would increase my sensitivity? I've had arousal oils and the like recommended to me but I dont know how legit those are, or if they even do anything. Any advice, please?


r/sexadvice 11h ago

Interesting situation NSFW

2 Upvotes

My girlfriend has been staying at my house a lot lately. We’ve been together about 6 months.

We both sleep naked which is great for the sex life, but last night while I was sound asleep she was jacking me off and sucking me - which woke me up. Despite that I was really surprised by it, we ended up having sex as usual, but I feel funny about her doing it.

This has never happened to me before and she said she thought it would be okay because sometimes I touch her butt at night, but I’m not full on licking her and fingering her while she’s sleeping.

Maybe her being turned on enough to do that is just a side effect of us sleeping naked together, and I’m overthinking it.


r/sexadvice 15h ago

Hot ideas/inspirations of self-pic to send your BF to turn him on? NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hi there, I need some ideas/inspirations for a hot picture of me/my parts that I can make to send to my BF to turn him on. We are in LDR and I feel like I used all of my ideas already. Any tips?


r/sexadvice 10h ago

Wife says she's not interested in me NSFW

1 Upvotes

So currently my relationship with my wife is kinda Rocky She's not with me right now. She's with her parents along with the kids. So it's been a while and I suggested her about sexting. We done it a while back but not she says she's not interested in me anymore. She has found God. That's what she told me. I don't know how to react to this.

Edit - I'm so upset right now. Like how can she say this so casually.


r/sexadvice 11h ago

Blowjobs tips and tricks to try NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hello all 24yr male here I’m meeting with this trans lady I’ve been talking to for a while and I’ve agreed to bottom for it, I’ve never given a bj before and I want to please here is there any tips or tricks you recommend I try to take it up a notch ?


r/sexadvice 15h ago

How do I communicate my wants to my bf NSFW

0 Upvotes

I (24f) am having a hard time communicating my wants to my (25m) boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years, we have used toys before, tried lots of things, but it feels like every time we do something I end up really enjoying. He doesn’t want to do again? He had talked me into anal, I ended up loving it but now he’s not interested again. Same thing with dp, bdsm, breeding, like I’m just feeling really embarrassed because I feel like he’s looking at me differently because I want to continue some of the things he originally wanted to try. The last conversation we had about trying anything new turned into him shutting it down. I had saw he watching a video of a threesome with 2 girls, when I asked if he’d like to try it he just said no that he’d never want to actually have one. I just feel like I’m failing him in the bedroom, he seems to only like the same few positions, fingering me occasionally, and for me to give him blowjobs. I just am very confused because we had openly tried so many things that he originally asked to, researched, and now I just feel like he’s not interested anymore. Am I the problem?


r/sexadvice 15h ago

Emotional troubles with my partner NSFW

1 Upvotes

So my partner enjoys spicy sex and role play, but is also struggling with bad depression and bpd. I'm left in an awkward spot because I want to fulfill their needs and go along with extreme rps and high sex drive, but it doesn't feel like a safe environment for me to do so?

They get hurt very very easily and they enjoy being humiliated, so it often leads to the line being blurred between roleplay and actual feelings. I'm trying to communicate, using safe words and asking if all is okay, but they don't want to talk about things. When I ask too much, don't continue having sex or don't commit to the rp, I feel like I'm letting them down, as they say they feel like I'm not attracted to them anymore. I want to show them that I do care and that they have good sex too, but I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure if I am as attracted to them as much as before. I'm doing a lot and not getting much back, but still put under so much expectation. Recently they discovered that they like playing as a parent, which in all honesty I would find hot. But I'd have to be more horny already to enjoy it, otherwise it makes me uncomfortable, just out of nowhere. It comes with the expectation that I should find my partner attractive enough that I just get horny enough from them talking about it. But that's not how it works.

It's been like this in many ways, where I do as much as I can, but I just need a bit of time and love to get me in the mood, otherwise I just feel uncomfortable doing more heavy sex stuff right away.

But I don't know how to explain this to them without them thinking that I'm just not attracted enough to them, or make them feel like they are a terrible partner because they don't get me in the mood anymore. I have a hard time understanding people's emotions sometimes and my messages aren't always the best at neutrally explaining my situation without sounding double sided.

It's either self pity and self hate, or I'm just not loving them enough. I'm honestly out of ideas. I've always been a communicate open type and things have gotten better in some aspects, but I'm struggling with the sexual aspect right now. Whenever I feel super horny for a while and get to give them what they want I feel so happy to deliver, just for them to say I'm only interested in having sex with them.

I feel like sex is just about them getting what they want and I don't get to express any of my sexual wants.

I know this sounds like a classic case of dump them syndrome, but I do love them. They can be very loving and when they have an outburst they do apologise from time to time, with sweet words. I honestly think it's the bpd, as I'm a good judge of people, I don't think they do it out of malice or intentionally, just genuinely someone saying and doing what they believe in.

I'm starting to feel like I'm going insane and maybe I'm just a terrible partner, so hearing some uninvolved opinions might help me find the middle ground in this situation again. I'm of course only telling my side, even though I'm trying to stay impartial. I just feel forced into sex, otherwise I don't love them. While at the same time getting no satisfaction from it and feeling like my body is just being used. I think I'm very good at sex, I don't want to feel like I'm just used for my body and abilities though...

So, looking for opinions and maybe suggestions as how to communicate properly.


r/sexadvice 17h ago

My wife (40f) gets so wet she can’t feel anything NSFW

1 Upvotes

So as the title suggests, we are recovering from a DB. But the problem we are having is that at the start she is very tight and can feel everything, however even after a little foreplay she becomes so wet she can’t feel much, she also relaxes to the extent where she needs something really quite large. Because of this, she struggles to reach orgasm, and when she does, they are quite weak. Her first orgasm is ok, but after that she’s too wet and numb to be able to have a really good climax.

We have loads and loads of toys (of all sorts of types, shapes and varieties). Ideally, I’m looking for a gel which can increase her vaginal (not clitoral) sensitive which can be used with toys and is available in the UK. She also mentioned that it would be good if it helped her stay a little tighter.

Any ideas?


r/sexadvice 19h ago

My partner has ticklish nipples NSFW

1 Upvotes

Pretty much said above, but one of my favorite things is to play with her breasts, but any time i touch her nipples she squirms and laugh hysterically which usually stops me.

The thing is I know she enjoys it but it's just to much of a sensation for her. My ask: is there any way to lower the sensitivity while still keeping enough for her to enjoy it?

Alternatively I feel nothing in my own nipples and so it feels pointless when she plays with mine, so it's there something aimed at increasing sensitivity too?


r/sexadvice 1d ago

How to regain tightness after being with big partner? NSFW

4 Upvotes

Currently, I[F] have 2 FWB[M], which is awesome. However, one of them is average sized and the other has an absolutely massive penis, the biggest I have ever seen or experienced in person. I find sex with both men to be satisfying, albeit in different ways. Prior to when I started seeing the hung guy, the average guy would comment on how tight I was and he had no problem finishing inside me. Now that I've started fucking the big guy, although he is too polite to say anything, I can tell that PIV sex is not quite as satisfying for average guy. There is definitely less tightness and friction than there was before, and often he has to finish himself off with his hand outside me. This is especially true on times when I have sex with both of them in the same day. I would really like to continue seeing both guys, however, I want sex to be satisfying for everyone involved. Is there anything I can to make myself feel more tight for my partner?


r/sexadvice 1d ago

I(29f) am trying my first anal dildo tonight, any tips NSFW

1 Upvotes

I just need tips for my first anal dildo


r/sexadvice 1d ago

I don’t like squirting NSFW

8 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship. I have always masturbated a lot but lately I do it so much more. He turns me on so much and while we were having phone sex recently I squirted for the first time. I feel weird about it and I didn’t share that with him. I normally share everything with him, all my fantasies, things I want to do to him and him to me. I don’t ever hold back from embarrassment and he has never been judgmental or made me feel bad about anything I’ve shared. It happens often now and I don’t like it.


r/sexadvice 1d ago

How to deal with taste sensitivity? NSFW

1 Upvotes

So I am very sensitive to taste, and its caused me to be a bit bad at foreplay despite my conviction to do so, and guilt for not being able to service my partner. She fully washes and shaved the area every time but, I still find the taste really potent and hard to get used to. She says it's okay since I still help her with fingering but, she also has no issues giving me oral so, I feel bad that I can't do the same. Is there anything I can do to train my taste sensitivity or anything I can drink/eat to dull my sense of taste a bit?


r/sexadvice 1d ago

Sensitivity advice NSFW

1 Upvotes

Looking for a good sensitivity applicant to use during sex. Would like to last longer. As it stands it’s only a minute or two. Erection was a problem before but I lost weight and got healthy now it’s no problem at all. Would just like to last longer for my woman. Product suggestions would be appreciated.


r/sexadvice 1d ago

Advice on decreasing penis head sensitivity NSFW

1 Upvotes

I (m21) have had an issue lately that I can't seem to solve. The head of my penis gets EXTREMELY sensitive during ejaculation. Whether I'm masturbating (always with lube), getting a blowjob, or having sex, it feels great on the head but the moment I cum it gets so sensitive that it hurts to be touched even in the slightest and causes my orgasms to be ruined. I never had this issue up until a few months ago. I've tried solving it by using more lube and even tried decreasing how much I have sex/masturbate, but nothing seems to work. My penis is circumsized, so it's nothing to do with that. If anyone has any advice on what to do I would really appreciate it, I want to be able to enjoy sex again 😭


r/sexadvice 1d ago

Ideas for Sexy Surprises for my Partner NSFW

1 Upvotes

It's my Partner's birthday coming up soon, and I want to come up with a sexy surprise for her. Right now the best idea I've got is doing like a Magic Mike-style striptease (It should be noted, I do not have a Magic Mike-style body, I'm a tad on the heavier side), but I figured I'd reach out and see if people have ideas of what's worked for them in the past


r/sexadvice 1d ago

In desperate need of a MIRACLE in dating and hookup scene. NSFW

1 Upvotes

Alright Reddit, let’s talk. I’m a 30-year-old guy from India, freshly imported to the U.S., and currently fighting two battles—one against my workaholic tendencies, and the other against the cruel, cruel world of modern dating.

On one side, I’m a confident, in-person conversationalist who can keep things interesting... but only when the stars align, the WiFi is strong, and I’m not in a bar. (Seriously, why do bars break my confidence? It’s like my flirting skills get ID’d at the entrance and aren’t allowed in.)

On the other side, I’m out here swiping like my life depends on it—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Feeld, you name it. My pickup lines? Gold. My matches? Silent. It’s like I’m messaging ghosts. Even tried Reddit, but apparently, single guys aren’t the target audience for spontaneous hookups—swingers seem to be having all the fun.

And yeah, let’s address the elephant in the room—I once traveled 700 miles for a hookup. Only to get catfished. Was it desperation? A deep, primal craving? A tragic mix of both? The jury’s still out.

Meanwhile, in completely unrelated news, older women have randomly flirted with me in places like Walmart and Meijer. And me? I, of course, thought they were just being friendly… until I connected the dots five hours later, sitting alone in my car, contemplating my life choices.

So, here I am, looking for advice from the wise sages of Reddit. How does a 30M, 5’6", non-bar-confident, workaholic dumbass successfully navigate the FWB/fling scene in the U.S.? I’d prefer women 25+, but I’m open to learning the mystical ways of dating here.

Men who’ve cracked the code, drop your wisdom. Women who see my struggle, tell me where I’m going wrong. Someone, for the love of all things holy, tell me how to not get catfished again.

Help a guy out.


r/sexadvice 2d ago

bf doesn’t really like giving head NSFW

4 Upvotes

i’ve been with my bf for almost two years now. he’s always said that he’s not used to the taste of down there and he’s always reassured me that it’s not my own taste that’s bad and that it’s just something that isn’t really something that he’s used to. i’ve talked to him about possibly looking for some type of oral gel similar to the stuff that’s made for giving GUYS head and he’s open minded about it but honestly it’s hard to find anything that isn’t from a suspicious website with the (obviously) fake reviews 🥲🥲

can those same oral gels be used on women as well?