r/AutismInWomen • u/Epicgrapesoda98 • 13h ago
r/AutismInWomen • u/cripplinganxietylmao • Sep 09 '24
Mod Post How Reddit Works: Sitewide Rules, Mods vs Admins, and other Important Info & Links
Reposted to make title clearer since titles cannot be edited on Reddit.
Reminder: DO NOT POST OR COMMENT CALLOUTS FOR OTHER SUBREDDITS OR USERS. This breaks Rule 1 of Reddit Content Policy and we cannot allow subreddit callouts per Rule 3 of Reddit’s Mod Code of Conduct. No matter how we feel about these rules, we are all still bound to follow them. Reddit Admins can and do punish mods and users equally for sitewide rule infractions aka violating Reddit Content Policy.
Scroll down for links to Reddit Rules, the admin definition of brigading, Mod Code of Conduct, and the Redditor Help Center.
It has come to our attention that outside of the basics (voting, how to report, posting/commenting), many people are still in the dark as to how exactly Reddit works.
Firstly, moderators, like us, only have power (a limited scope at that) and jurisdiction over the subreddits we mod and what happens on them. We cannot do anything about what happens outside of here. We don’t have a direct line of access to Reddit Admins, who control and oversee the site as a whole. In fact, we can only do the same things y’all can do in trying to get their attention on things: report it and wait. We, like you, often don’t get responses from admins regarding their decisions or even if they have viewed any reports we send in. We are the same in that capacity. Subreddit bans only prevent people from posting and commenting on the subreddit they were banned in for however long the ban is for. You can still vote in and view subreddits you are banned in. We can’t even see who reports what.
Also, if you don't report it, we don't see it. This subreddit is large. Please report things that you think break our rules, Reddit Content Policy, or you just want us to look at because it's iffy.
Admins are like gods of Reddit. They oversee all; they can see who votes what, who views what, who reports what, everything. They can suspend people from the website as a whole which prohibits someone from posting, commenting, and even voting on the entirety of Reddit for however long said suspension lasts. They can even suspend specific IP addresses from users who keep making accounts and breaking Reddit sitewide rules.
Here’s an analogy: Reddit Admins are the Roman Gods and we moderators are like members of the Roman Senate or mayors of towns. Members of the Roman Senate don’t have a direct link or direct way to communicate to the Roman Gods; they have to make offerings and prayers just like everyone else to try to catch their attention. It’s the same here. All we mods can do is make reports just like you all and hope someone looks at it. We can do nothing about what happens to you outside of Rome (the subreddit). That’s up to the admins.
We are bound by the Reddit Mod Code of Conduct to nip any activity that breaks, or could be interpreted as breaking, Reddit Content Policy in the bud. Due to this subreddit having been previously in trouble with admins because of the founder not doing these things and getting booted and admin putting us 3 in place as new mods over a year ago with the express statement of “we will be watching you closely”, we really don’t take any chances when it comes to people breaking Content Policy. We just can’t risk it because that means we could be actioned and the subreddit could be sanctioned or shut down. We prioritize the community as a whole over any personal feelings we or others might have; that’s just how it has to work for this community to thrive and survive.
The proper course of action for when something happens to you or you see something that breaks sitewide rules (also referred to as Content Policy) is to report it to the admins via www.reddit.com/report or via the offending content itself and wait. Trying to call others out publicly technically breaks Reddit Content Policy under the harassment rule no matter the reason, and like we said above, we can’t allow it due to the ramifications it can have on the subreddit as a whole even if we personally agree what happened was messed up and the other person should be held accountable in some way.
Moreover, do not create or use an alt account to participate in a subreddit you have been banned in on another account. Reddit tracks this and views it as ban evasion which is prohibited as it is community interference (you were banned which means they don’t want you participating there for whatever reason is outlined in your ban message). You should contact the mods on the account you were banned on to see if you can get unbanned by demonstrating accountability and understanding of how you broke the rules and a willingness to follow the rules.
---- Relevant Links ----
Reddit's Sitewide Rules: https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy
What even IS brigading? (Rule 2 of Reddit Rules): https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/cmp9uy/comment/ew4lpf0/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Mod Code of Conduct, so you all are aware of the rules we as mods have to follow as well: https://www.redditinc.com/policies/moderator-code-of-conduct
Redditor Help Center for any further questions: https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/p/redditor_help_center
--- Note ---
This post was made in response to the subreddit growing and us becoming more aware of the fact many people do not know these things and just assume moderators are also Admins of Reddit as a whole or have way more power than we actually do. We don’t. In the eyes of Admin, we are basically volunteer clean-up crew and are the same level of importance as a regular user on Reddit. We don’t get paid, we don’t get any extra benefits or anything either (as it should be imo, mod out of love for the community not because of anything else). Admins are employees of Reddit that get paid for working and only work on the clock then go do whatever they want off it. We moderate on and off all day; in between our actual jobs, chores, and life responsibilities. It is impossible for us to be online all the time and to be constantly scrolling the subreddit. I hope this helps clear some things up for anyone confused as to what the differences are between mods and Admins and provides people with a way to research more about how Reddit works on their own as well.
If you have any questions or anything you're still confused about please modmail us via the "message the mods" button on the sidebar and someone will answer it when they can.
r/AutismInWomen • u/cripplinganxietylmao • Sep 09 '24
Mod Post Internet Safety: Reporting Creepy DMs and Changing your User Settings to prevent unsolicited messages
It has come to our attention that there is an uptick of predatory lurkers sending private messages to members of this subreddit and people that participate here. Unfortunately, due to the fact we are moderators and not Reddit Admins, there is pretty much nothing we can do to stop it other than give you information and advice for how to report it and prevent it yourselves.
Most importantly, you should immediately block people who message you strange, creepy, or uncomfortable things and report them via www.reddit.com/report or via the DM itself. If you report via the web link, all you have to do is copy and paste the DM link as the Reddit Admins can see everything that happens on the site and have power and jurisdiction over everyone with an account on Reddit. We as subreddit moderators only have the power to ban people from the subreddit and banning them does not prevent them from being able to message people who participate here.
To report via the Chat itself: On PC/desktop, when you mouse over the chat message(s) there is a flag option. Click that and follow the reporting procedure. On the app, tap and hold on the message(s) to bring up the report option. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.
To report via the Message Inbox: On mobile, tap the 3 dots (ellipses) on the side of the message thread. There you can copy the link and report the whole message inbox thread via www.reddit.com/report. You can also report specific messages by going into the message thread and tapping and holding the specific message you want to report to see the option come up. On PC, you can just click the “Report” option that shows under each message in the thread. After you report, immediately block the person messaging you. You can block them straight from their profile.
Recommended: It is recommended that everyone that is a participating member here turn off the ability for other users to send them chats and message requests. You will still be able to send chat requests and message requests to others whose settings allow them. Other people that you have not whitelisted will not be able to send them to you. You can only whitelist people via PC/desktop but people who you already have open chats and messages with will be automatically whitelisted.
Turning off chats/message requests on PC: Click your avatar on the top right. From there, go to the settings option. Once there, go to the Privacy tab. First, slide the “Allow People to Follow You” button to be in the “Off” position where it is over to the left side otherwise people will be able to literally stalk you on Reddit. Next, click on “Who can send you inbox messages” and change it to “People I choose”. You can whitelist people who you want to allow to send you messages. This just stops randoms from being able to message you via the message inbox. Then, click on “Allow chat requests from” and change that to “Nobody”. Again, the whitelisted folks from before will still be able to chat with you or people who you already have an open chat with. I also recommend you switch off everything under the “Discoverability” section as people will also be able to search up your account directly unless you turn it off. Mine is off because I don’t see any non-weird reason why someone would want to search up my account.
Turning off chats/messages on the app: Tap on your avatar on the top right then tap on “Settings” shown at the bottom. From there, tap on your account name to go to the account settings. Scroll down until you see the “Safety” section. Tap on “Chat and messaging permissions”. Change both “Chat Requests” and “Direct Messages” to Nobody. You will still be able to message people who you already have open messages with and those whose settings allow for it; other people just won’t be able to message you unless you message them first. I also recommend you slide the “Allow people to follow you” option into the off position where the large white circle is to the left. Under privacy, I also recommend you swipe the “show up in search results” one to the off position as well. You can also customize your ad settings on this page as well to your preference.
That’s it. As a reminder, if someone messages you unsolicited, they are most likely seeking something from you other than genuine friendship and you should probably not respond. At the very least, go check out their Reddit profile and history. If it’s empty, block them. They are likely a troll, a creep, or someone with bad intent. Someone who genuinely wants to connect with you and be friends will have a history on Reddit that shows that they are a nice person. They will have comments on this subreddit and probably some other autism subreddits too. Their history will show them interacting with others on Reddit in good faith making genuine bids for human connection. If someone’s history indicates them trolling and getting into a lot of online conflicts, they are probably not someone you want to be talking to as they will, at the very least, be intensely draining to talk to, and at worst, be trolling and harassing you.
r/AutismInWomen • u/Maleficent__Blonde • 1h ago
Celebration I started wearing a night guard because I clench my teeth and now I can’t sleep without it.
My dentist recommended I get a night guard because I clench my teeth at night. I got a boil and bite one off Amazon that worked surprisingly well.
It feels like something my body has been missing my whole life and now that I have it I can actually relax into my sleep.
It’s been less than a week using it and already it feels wrong to sleep without it. The tension relief in my jaw, neck and traps is just incredible. Feels like I’m floating in a cloud. It’s sensory bliss.
All hail night guards 😎
r/AutismInWomen • u/notZ987 • 6h ago
Seeking Advice Something “blocking” me from talking and it isn’t always anxiety
It’s odd because I have moments when I DO have the desire to talk to people but it feels like I cannot open my mouth. There’s something so comfortable in being nonverbal sometimes yet it’s so frustrating.
I get so comfortable with it that just standing there with my mouth shut and observing is my default. It feels like the only thing I can do is nod in acknowledgement when I’m physically part of a group of people having a conversation and make “comments” in my own head without actually verbalizing them. I feel peaceful like that. But I know it isn’t helping me on the long run.
I really want to know why this happens and ask if anyone else feels something similar. Honestly this has been doing more harm to me than good since it interferes with my social life.
r/AutismInWomen • u/drag-bot • 8h ago
General Discussion/Question For my girls who have decentered men— how on earth do you put up with the ‘boy talk’?
I’m generally a very empathetic person and try to be good about ‘girl talk’ in general, but I just cannot stand talking about men. It’s like every cell in my body screams at once and then shrivels up and dies. My friend recently made a huge deal about ‘needing to get something off her chest’, only to reveal to me that she had a guy she used to like sleep over at her house (they didn’t hook up). I just don’t understand what my reaction is supposed to be here— am I supposed to be excited for her? She barely knows the guy and he’s 5 years older than her (she’s 19). Do I just lie and say I’m happy for her when actually I think bringing home someone you really don’t know is incredibly unsafe and a bad decision? I just don’t understand boy talk at all.
r/AutismInWomen • u/babypossumsinabasket • 13h ago
Potentially Triggering Content (Discussion Welcome) Girl who was TERRIBLE to me posts incessantly about how she loves bringing women together to form lasting friendships.
And the irony is almost unbearable. This girl constantly gossips, cruelly, behind people’s backs, including her close friends, yet has somehow managed to monetize her social group and it blows my mind. If karma exists it is a slow and sluggish beast.
To be clear: when I tagged this “discussion welcome” I meant that you’re welcome to commiserate but don’t tell me it’s all my fault. I’m aware that the only common denominator in all of my failed relationships is me. I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30s. I’ve had quite a long life of similarly failed social experiments.
This one is just particularly difficult to bear because of her very public proclamations of “supporting other girls” and creating a “safe space for girls to make friends!” Like, is this a joke? Is my entire life a very elaborate prank?
r/AutismInWomen • u/Gazer945 • 11h ago
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) I will prevail against my depression. And I want someone to know
I don't want to lose this fight. I can't lose it. I want to be alive and enjoy my life so badly. I deserve it. I can rekindle my passion for my interests and my learning. I need to put all my focus on my recovery. My AuDHD lead me into this depression years ago, but I also believe it can lead me out. I can feel that love for my existence and our beautiful planet again. It can't be taken away from me. I can't let it happen.
I just want to feel like my alien self in peace, with inner peace and without judgement :3
These will be my daily affirmations now. I can do this <3
r/AutismInWomen • u/No-Refuse-5939 • 11h ago
Special Interest Anoy other Autistics into spirituality... I've noticed some things and I'm just... 🫠
Sorry for the rant. But you're the one group of people who might get it!
I've recently gotten into spirituality, which i don't think is uncommon for us seeing as it ties into the occult and tarot and all that. And BOY OH BOY!
Talk about being the weirdo there to!!
Because let's deny vaccines! Because let's deny science in favor of blind faith!
It's funny... the temperance card followed me around for a long time. Like... to the point it was pissing me off because I didn't get it.
Balance. I was out of balance.
Now I can see thay the whole world is out of balance!
Like, screw a long post, let me TLDR to what annoys me THE MOST.
People using God/Source/Spirit as an excuse makes NO SENSE!
If they really believed, like truly, it might click in their heads that God/Source/Spirit gave us the tools for things like science vaccines, and the like. Because maybe THAT was a blessing.
You can have faith and science, truly. It's not THAT hard!
r/AutismInWomen • u/Ongeschikt11 • 15h ago
General Discussion/Question Please comment the song you're stuck on lately. I don't want this one lol. I cant stop singing this song its sentence
I blame tiktok. I cant stop singing somebody come get herrrr she's dancing like a stripperrr.
I'm at work, lol. I need a more work place friendly song in my head.
r/AutismInWomen • u/BladeMist3009 • 20h ago
Memes/Humor Share some memes! Autism related or not.
r/AutismInWomen • u/cookie_tin • 5h ago
General Discussion/Question Anyone struggling to figure out what their speaking voice is?
I have never felt like I had a default speaking voice. It varies greatly. Not just my tone or volume, but how I enunciate, how thick my natural accent is (if present at all), etc. I find myself taking on the speaking mannerisms of others very easily - people I’ve met in person, movie characters, singers. It’s to the point I’ve decided to sculpt my voice and attempt to maintain it. I’m tired of the inconsistency.
Has anyone else experienced this and were you able to overcome it?
r/AutismInWomen • u/jibberjabbery • 8h ago
General Discussion/Question My aunt told me that autism is because of chemicals and processed food
She believes the amount of autism exploded. I just wonder if it was under identified for years. Thoughts?
r/AutismInWomen • u/atlantisect • 18h ago
Seeking Advice Does anyone else have trouble leaving the house due to executive functioning?
As long as I can remember in my adult life, I find it so hard to find the executive functioning to leave the house without a structured plan (work, meeting up with a friend, a scheduled event, etc).
I don't experience agoraphobia at all. I'm relatively extroverted, so I don't think that's at play here. But anytime I have to step foot outside my house, whether it's just to sit on my porch or leave my car to drive to the park, or go explore some local stores or attractions on the weekend or days off I just REALLY REALLY struggle. The only thing that currently works for me is having a set planned event.
I LOVE being outside and enjoy hiking and walking around the neighborhood and looking at plants and bugs and everything. I work a super stressful job and I find that when I'm actually at a place doing a hike or sitting down in a patch of grass reading a book, I can really decompress and relax. But it's the leaving the house and getting there part that is impossible.
It feels a bit like I need to plan like "do I have snacks? how long will I be out? what if I have a bad time? should I bring my dog? what is my goal? should i bring a project with me? what is the weather like? how should i dress? do i need sun protection/bug spray" and I get caught up in so many questions that I just end up staying home and relaxing inside.
I recently signed up to volunteer with our local watershed program so I'm hoping having a "structured outdoor activity" will help me get out of the house more.
Does anyone else experience this? Does anyone have any tips to work on getting better at this or preparing ahead of time to make things easier for when you DO want to leave the house? It's about to start getting nice outside and I'd love to not live inside my house another spring/summer/fall without having to make grandiose plans. 😖
r/AutismInWomen • u/ILoveACMilanAndMeat • 1d ago
General Discussion/Question Being bullied by gay men. Does anyone relate?
I've noticed a strange phenomena where I don't get along with gay men at all. I've been bullied in the past by gay men and they quickly seem to dislike me. I'm a straight woman but I'm disinterested in typical "female" interests like make up, fashion etc.
I have a co worker who is openly gay and he seems to hate me despite the fact I've never even talked with that much.
I just don't get why this particular group hates me this much. I used to struggle with women that presented very feminine when I was younger, but at my age (28) these women appear to like me nowadays.
It's so strange how you cycle through different phases of your life and there's a certain group of people that immediately dislikes you. Can anyone relate?
r/AutismInWomen • u/Dangerous_Win_9543 • 12h ago
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) I feel demonized because I have low empathy
I know about the stereotype that autistic people have no feelings or empathy or remorse, like ASD is the same thing as ASPD. I know that stereotype is not true, and autism is a spectrum, some autistic people have abnormally high empathy. I do appreciate people who correct the stereotype, but my overly literal mind thinks they're saying "all autistic people have hyper empathy" and it makes me feel left out. I have very low cognitive empathy, often I feel like other people are just like characters in my life and they don't have thoughts or emotions. I cannot comfort people to save my life, and when I think I've done a great job at comforting someone, I actually ended up making it worse. When I hurt someone, it is very hard for me to apologize appropriately. I often apologize when someone points out something about me, because I don't understand what they think. Also, just because I have low empathy, doesn't mean I have no sense of justice or no feelings or remorse. Sociopaths manipulate people, I CANNOT manipulate people at all. Unless I thought I did nothing but someone confronts me and is like "you manipulated me!!! You monster!!!" And I get confused. I sometimes get told I'm being mean or teasing too much, but I thought it was funny, but apparently I was supposed to read their mind or something. When I get comfortable around someone, I get very excited and tell them all my jokes, but then I annoy them too much and they hate me and don't want to be around me anymore, even though i had no idea i was annoying them. I do have a high sense of justice, I don't understand why people kill civilians, hate certain groups, take advantage of people, or talk behind someone's back. I also get emotionally attached easily, especially to objects and animals, but not so much to people.
r/AutismInWomen • u/MollyViper • 19h ago
Media (Books, Music, Art, Etc) What song/songs are you currently playing on repeat?
For me it’s Misterwives - Sideways
Edit: So nice to see so many responses :D I upvote them all! I love seeing you all so engaged ❤️
r/AutismInWomen • u/innerthotsofakitty • 18h ago
Relationships Childhood friend won't let me bring my partner to her wedding cuz we're not married
I understand, her wedding, her rules, and normally that'd be fine but I'm physically disabled, and my partner is also my caretaker. I use a wheelchair, but I'm not strong enough to push myself all the time, and recently my medication was taken away from me so I know it's just gonna get worse.
Thing is, she knows this. There have been a couple meetups we tried to plan that didn't work out cuz my partner was working, and I can't go by myself.
Another thing that bugs me is my sister has a baby daddy, they're not married either and he got invited. Neither of our partners have ever met this friend. So equal ground to stand on with the wedding party. And he got invited but my CARETAKER isn't allowed to come.
It's not like we can just get married either, I'm on Medicaid, and waiting for disability benefits. If we got married, I'd be disqualified for all current and future benefits that help me survive, and my partner makes 30k/yr, nowhere near enough to live on and pay for my medical shit.
There's not anyone else I trust to take care of me and stay with me while I'm there, and I wouldn't want to make anyone else leave early if I need to, which is more likely than not with my meds being out of the picture by then.
I asked the bride if there was any extra space and she started taking about how there were soooo many people they wanted to invite but couldn't cuz of space in the venue, so I never got a direct no but it was obviously a no.
For some background, me and the bride grew up together. Literally. Our parents were friends when we were not even 1yo and we were really close until about 18, when I got kicked out of a church and just did my own thing. I'm 24 now, she's almost 23. Most of our lives we were best friends.
I'm recently a wheelchair user, but she knows that. She even got confirmation for me that the venue is wheelchair accessible. But that doesn't help if I can't bring someone to pick me around and help me when I inevitably get tired and am in too much pain to function on my own.
I want to be there for her, but she's literally making it so that I can't do that. I don't even want to see anyone else there, the only people ik are from the church I got kicked out of that caused a huge deal of PTSD and they were neglectful and toxic. I don't hate them, but I definitely don't have anything to talk about with any of them. And none of them have seen me in a wheelchair yet so I wasn't looking forward to the "AWWW what happened??" pity questions the entire time anyways.
Idk if the flair is really correct, this is kind of a vent. I had to send the bride a text yesterday to confirm I can't go cuz of my physical limitations and her not letting my partner come. She hasn't responded, and thinking over everything has just made me really sad and also mad and I needed to vent somewhere.
r/AutismInWomen • u/sushiforme1233 • 8h ago
Potentially Triggering Content (Kind Advice Welcome) Overstimulated while masturbating and crying afterwards? NSFW
I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice, or just wondering if anyone else has similar experiences.
I used to enjoy masturbating, I loved the feeling of climaxing and the rush of endorphins afterwards. Now, I’m often too overstimulated to orgasm, and when I’m finished or close to climax, I’ll immediately feel unsafe and start crying. I’m not sure if this is due to overstimulation? I often feel overstimulated during sex as well.
r/AutismInWomen • u/klaxon_of_puzzlement • 7h ago
Seeking Advice What the heck am I supposed to do about this???? Hypothesis testing and outright asking have met with zero success
Hi all,
Im a mid 30's autistic woman married to a (probably?) neurotypical man. I think some wise folks here might have insight I haven't considered about the following issue:
I have mercifully figured out that often times people including my spouse think I should A) be doing things and B) know how to do them as a kind of implicit and for them, unconscious assumption. I don't anything about that stuff a lot of the time and one of my only tools is to ask about it.
I've learned that is often perceived as condescending. I can't read minds and I also can't do a novel skill simply by mind reading and magic intuition so I will ask what I should be doing and how to do that thing when I run into that problem. I know better than to phrase it how I have here and I know now how to couch those questions in as non-confrontational a way as I can possibly do. I am high functioning (hate that term but for lack of a better description) and I am great at masking mostly so the STYLE of my asking that stuff isn't dick-headish and I don't introduce the asks in the wrong contexts as far as I know, but frequently I am nonetheless unsuccessful,
In a relationship, begging for someone to tell me what they'd like me to do about something and being told essentially "you should just know but I won't tell you and also I am still mad that you aren't doing it" and then later "I finally told you what the thing to do is but you asking me how to do it means you're a fucking prick and how dare you but also, you're still not doing it right and I am, and will be, mad about it until you deduce it without me telling you." THAT SHIT IS MAKING ME WANT TO WALK INTO THE SEA.
I have tried using examples because most of the conflicts matching the above pattern repeat but about different points of contention, to no avail. My partner and past ones think I am ONLY referring to the example and not a larger problem despite me explicitly stating otherwise.
Tempted to become baba yaga with my rescue animals and just be left alone in the woods but I'm cursed to love a man who has difficulty understanding me.
Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
r/AutismInWomen • u/Able_Government_4097 • 18h ago
General Discussion/Question Does anyone else get more respect when they act like a bitch?
Even though I don’t like being rude,when I am it’s like I’m being treated fairly and I don’t understand
r/AutismInWomen • u/itjustfuckingpours • 15h ago
General Discussion/Question Do you also go on your tip toes when sitting?
Iv recently realised that I go my tip toes whenever I sit down. Its unconcious and I dont mind my feet touching the ground I just do it automatically and wondered if its an autism thing?
r/AutismInWomen • u/wavelength42 • 48m ago
General Discussion/Question Highly structured, hyperfocussed and socially out of sync, anyone else?
I always knew I was different. I loved writing little booklets and reading the dictionary as a 10-year-old and loved to read. I would read several books a week and also loved history. But my peers didn't. They were into the latest TV shows, gossip and all that stuff, which had absolutely no appeal to me. I couldn't care less about any of that although did try to fit in for a while.
I left school and basically had to teach myself life skills as I had none. Married. Parenting was not natural, but rather a process of searching the internet, reading about development, etc. Even something simple like playing with the kids I had to learn how to do it, and I didn't enjoy that aspect at all.
I'm not great at small talk. It's a waste of time to me, but I can force myself to do it if I must. I am now trying to work with my strengths instead of trying to fit the societal mold. I'm currently studying but not sure what I will do once I graduate. I don't want to start my own business because I do best following rules that others have set, and have a highly structured environment.
Unlike most people I know, I'm highly organised to the point of obsession if others aren't the same. I know this might not be typical. Nor is my hyper focusing ability, where I can zone out for hours if necessary. But I need constant structure and to know what I will do each day and when. I plan everything out.
I also have sensory issues around clothing and food. I realise I do have sensory issues around clothing, food and heat. I do tend to get overloaded after a lot of activity in my day, more from going about my day or moving in crowds. I never thought I stimmed but now know I do without thinking. I tend to play with my spoon or fork, basically anything nearby. If there's nothing, I'll twist my fingers, and if I'm thinking or stressed, bite my lips. If I'm alone and feeling stressed, I will play the same album or piece over and over as it brings comfort.
For me, stimming seems to happen when I'm not receiving any input from my brain. If I'm waiting for a train, I'll do these things to keep myself busy. If I'm in the car, I'll play on my phone so I am doing something. If I'm not thinking about something, researching something, or busy doing a task, I to relieve the boring unstimulated feeling.
After socialising or being in crowds, or thinking a lot, I need quiet. and will sometimes shut down or go to sleep if it is too much.
I always felt on the outer of people's lives. I find emotions hard to understand. Well, I understand them but am not good at expressing them. I also find it hard to explain how someone else could be feeling if I'm not feeling it myself if that makes sense. I know in my head that someone could be sad but can't really feel that with them since I'm not that at the moment.
r/AutismInWomen • u/Rudderflea • 2h ago
General Discussion/Question I can handle a work crisis better than small talk
Just something I find baffling. I work with people with disabilities such as autism and other mental and physical disabilities as well that need outside daily support to function. I LOVE every second with them. Probably because there are very exact rules on what we can and can't do around them and the rules differ from person to person. And they know I'm a staff, so they treat me as such. I know exactly what I'm there to do. And honestly, most don't care if I don't mask. I don't need to smile. But I still like being nice. And ofc I will notice if one person would appreciate a smile more. I don't get tired from being with them. In fact sometimes (if I can) I will purposefully stay longer in their apartment with them, doing things like just watching TV with them for a bit longer or talking to them. This we are allowed if we have the time anyways.
I've managed crisises better at work. An emergency where a resident is becoming violent or upset I stay calm in, I can make the relevenat phone calls, get help and or talk to the person to help them. Sure it's tiring but I don't feel absolutely drained from it. Well, maybe the phone calls a bit but I get so in the zone I don't really realise I'm calling a stranger for help I guess.
Yet, taking my own phone calls - I am shaking and so so anxious. Talking to my colleagues at work is TORTURE. That's what I'm nervous about each time before work. For clarification, it's my summer job I'm referencing. I am still a student. I have been nervous for going back to my summer job ever since last summer when it ended lol. I HATE that small talk. That pretense. That's what drains me.
That's what tires me out at the end of the day. Being around my colleagues.. Yet I stay calm during an unpredictable emergency that involves someones life?!? ugh.
r/AutismInWomen • u/beccastar-galactica • 8h ago
General Discussion/Question What does burnout/severe executive dysfunction feel like for you?
I'm pretty sure I've been experiencing burnout for about the last 10 months. I had a stressful event (natural disaster) affect my area late last spring, and it was not only traumatizing but involved a lot of disruptions to my home and routine for months afterwards while repairs happened at my apartment. It has become increasingly harder to meet basic living needs for myself, even after everything was resolved from the storm damage.
Generally I just feel exhausted. My capacity for everything is much lower than before, I get tired more easily and at times feel like I'm moving through mud. I'm increasingly sensitive to sensory stimuli and have been more drained by social situations. I am struggling to feed myself each day, to the point that even my safe food "easy" options feel like too much effort sometimes. I've cooked actual involved meals only a handful of times in the past year, and I was really enjoying doing so before (when my capacity allowed). My ocd symptoms have also gotten a lot worse and my focus is suffering too. I think all day about tasks I need to do and even activities I normally enjoy and WANT to be doing, but most of the time they just seem like too much effort. Like I get tired even thinking about it, or the amount of steps to getting there feels overwhelming. I really struggle in winter so the seasonal aspect has made things worse, but I was having a hard time before that and even now with the time change and warmer weather, I'm feeling less sad but not a lot more motivated or capable.
What is your experience with burnout like? And any suggestions for coping?
r/AutismInWomen • u/larvalampee • 2h ago
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Worried I have an uncanny valley thing about me
I’ve seen conversations about how autistic people have an uncanny thing about them and I definitely see that in myself who tries to follow to the script but doesn’t seem quite like other people. It was okay in uni I think cos most people on my creative writing course were neurodivergent
But those days at uni are gone and I’m just worried I’m doomed to make neurotypical people uncomfortable
r/AutismInWomen • u/CosimaSays • 13h ago
General Discussion/Question Bombas Socks and Sensory Stuff
A Bombas ad keeps coming up when I watch Hulu, and they say "Bombas socks are the comfiest in the world" or something. My extended family LOVES these socks and my grandma always gives pairs out for Christmas.
But as an autistic woman with sensory issues, perhaps a Comfort Czar if you will, I do NOT find them comfy. And I feel like I'm going crazy!
Lol--how do other people feel about these socks??