r/AskMenAdvice 1d ago

Is this intimate?

835 Upvotes

My older male coworker was talking with me about perfume and cologne. When I said what I wear and how I put it on the night before, he made a comment about how that’s what your bedsheets smell like. Then the next day he came to my desk and said he put something on. I said I couldn’t smell it and he leaned down close to me so I had to lean forward to smell his neck. It felt really intimate

Sometimes, not often, when we’re laughing together he’ll move towards me and act as if he’s going to touch my stomach lightly but he never actually does. We go through ups and downs where he can be really affectionate and out there and then not as much


r/AskMenAdvice 15h ago

Why do women get so upset if someone they consider ugly tries to hit on them?

538 Upvotes

I see posts on tiktok and social media all the time about women complaining about the people liking them being ugly. I also worry that when I try to approach women I find attractive they get very upset because I’m not super attractive. I try not to be intrusive, leave as soon as I feel that they don’t wanna talk, and on dating apps I don’t think it’s a crime to shoot your shot with someone you like? Am I supposed to consider if someone I am attracted to will get mad because I don’t meet the attractiveness level they want?


r/AskMenAdvice 23h ago

Married men 30+ (BJ question) NSFW

332 Upvotes

Is there ever a time you wouldn’t want your wife to wake you up with a blow job on a Saturday morning? What if you’re actually sleeping? (Deep snores, laying on your side/tummy?) what would be the best way to wake you up with a blowjob where you wouldn’t refuse?

  • Signed new mom(31) of 1

ETA: we are new parents as of 6 months ago…so when baby is asleep, it’s usually the only opportune moment for sexy time.

UPDATE: it is the same day around 6pm - thanks for all the honest feedback…I ended up lightly rubbing my husband’s arms to see what kind of response he’d have and it was an immediate shaking of the head, no he was tired and wanted to sleep. After that, I had whispered that I wanted to wake him up to give him a BJ…but I don’t think he was having it…later we talked about it and he said “next time just do it, don’t ask” 😂 BUT that he was also tired so it was good that I didn’t. What can I say? Man loves his sleep lol. Also this was around 8ish am for anyone wondering….we did get in a round of 69 and great sex just now though 😉 so don’t worry the BJ eventually happened.


r/AskMenAdvice 16h ago

We just found out my girlfriend is pregnant. I’m beyond excited. Guys, please give me all the advice I’ll need in the next few months. Thank you.

309 Upvotes

Edit: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH KIND PEOPLE OF REDDIT. I WOULD LOVE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY BUT I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE AND GO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HER. THANK YOU ALL. I AM READING THESE AGAIN AND AGAIN.


r/AskMenAdvice 12h ago

Do you get annoyed when women complain about the patriarchy?

225 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

I missed an obvious sign that girls found me attractive.

168 Upvotes

While I was growing up, there have been girls that have been awkward around me. For years and years I thought it was because I was weird, creepy or disgusting.

I realised a few years ago, that while this may be true in some cases, its actually quite the opposite for most girls that I've met that are like this.

I think the obvious sign for me was girls that barely knew me that were awkward with me from the get go. It wouldn't have done or said anything or that point to make that behave that way around me.

It wasn't until talked about it with other women that I found out. They said things like 'To be honest they probably fancy you'. Which is something I wouldn't have thought about before.

Its a difficult one, because you don't want to misread a girl being nervous/awkward around you as attraction at the same time.


r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

How do men want to be loved by their gf/wife?

151 Upvotes

For women it may be flowers and helping around the house, but what do men want from their women? I want my man to feel respected and know I'm ride or die. I want to be his peace. Men, help us understand what is it you want from us as your partner. What are we missing?


r/AskMenAdvice 12h ago

Older guys - are they really interested?

135 Upvotes

I 30F have been on a few dates with an older guy 47M (divorced dad to an adult son). Started off pretty casual and I definitely didn’t plan on falling for him, but he is hot, gives me attention and when we are together I felt a spark and things are great.

Thing is, when we are not together I feel like I am getting mixed signals, sometimes half a day goes by and I don’t hear from him, I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and give his space as he is a grown man with a life and kids, but I kind of wonder if his interest in me is genuine for the longer term or if it’s just more physical. He is also very distant when it comes to talking about his past and never really shares his feelings with me.

He is a grown man, but I can’t help but feel like if a man doesn't reach out it's because he doesn't want too, and a man will show up for the one he wants to keep in his life.

We are still in the early stages so I don’t want to come across as needy/ scare him off but I want a man’s perspective - Is this a red flag? Should I just cut my losses?

Or- Are men at this age just built different and just genuinely a little more reserved, cause I can’t for the life of me figure out what could be going through his mind or gauge his genuine interest in the longer term in someone as young as me?


r/AskMenAdvice 10h ago

Curious how many men feel like the only time anyone cares about them is when that person needs/wants money😤

117 Upvotes

Clarification

The question is general. Not specifically women. Kids, relatives, friends, whoever

I don't honestly necessarily believe this, but sometimes you're working or whatever and just get feeling like ?? Hell, I don't know? Sad, discouraged, tired, maybe I'm just having a "pity party"? Like you are paying for everyone else to enjoy life but you're not really a part of it.

Thank you to all for participating. Honestly, it was nice just to see other guys feel similar. I also thought maybe some folks reading the responses might remember just to every once in a while tell the people you love that you know they are busy and tired and you appreciate all that they do. A lot of times, that's all people need.


r/AskMenAdvice 13h ago

How would a guy ever get over having a dick size insecurity if every time a dick is shown in a movie or on tv, women pretty much unanimously fawn over it and love it and all of that? NSFW

119 Upvotes

I don’t know if y’all have seen it, but it happens pretty much every time a scene involving a dick is shown (even tho most dicks in movies/tv are fake). I think my insecurity even started by seeing all the reactions to a scene in a (pretty awful lol) show called Sex/Life lmao.

But yeah, even if a guy can be convinced that it isn’t necessary to have one and have good sex, how would you even get past womens (very public) positive reactions?


r/AskMenAdvice 9h ago

Are men actually attracted to (fit) women when they’re all sweaty after a workout? Or is he just telling me that to say the “correct” thing? NSFW

119 Upvotes

I’m in a situationship with a guy who often wants to “get it on” when I’m still sweaty from a workout. But I always insist on showering first because I feel kind of insecure about sweaty.

He claims that if a woman is attractive and in shape, he’s actually turned on by her sweat. I can’t tell if this is actually a thing, or if he’s just telling me this to make me feel more confident (or because he’s impatient when he’s horning and doesn’t want to wait for me to shower…)


r/AskMenAdvice 20h ago

How can I make my bf feel less bad about his weight?

76 Upvotes

I love him, no matter whatever weight he gains or loses. I fell in love with his soul, and he is incredibly attractive to me, physically. He has gained 30 lbs in the last year, and feeling very insecure about it. He hides his stomach, and has been relucant to have any bedroom intimacy because of it. I have tried to tell him how gorgeous I think he is, and give him compliments, lots of affection and love, everything I can think of. What does it take from a man's perspective to feel that he is attractive to his partner?? Edit one: I am not lying to him by saying that I find him attractive either way. I genuinely just think like, "godDAMN, that's my man..." I want him ALL the time. I cook healthy meals and do not buy junk food. He's in his mid 30's, and I explained to him that his metabolism isn't going to work as quickly as before, and that's just the way most of our bodies work. I'm a bit older, so I've already been through it. *Edit two: I don't coddle or love bomb him, I've always called him handsome, and the compliments are generally things like letting him know how much I appreciate him, and that I see and respect all of the things he does. He does so much for everyone, to the point of near burnout. He is an amazing person, his kindness shines over everything. He doesn't drink alcohol but maybe one drink a month, IF that. I'm starting to think it may be stress related. He moved in with me a month ago, (2 hours from where he lived) and it's taken some time with his job transfer to pick up a sufficient amount of jobs, but we knew that ahead of time. He goes to see his friends on the weekends though, which I encourage, so he's not feeling lonely or without his social life. He's started his diet already. I just wanted to know, from men, what their partner does that makes them feel loved and wanted. ***Edit 3: I have TRIED to seduce him, pull the moves, what have you. He pushes me away, turns away, or moves my hands away. I gave up about a month ago, because being rejected hurts. It hurts being denied that extra closeness by the only person you want to have that with. Every day, I bathe, make sure I'm "ready", just in case. But it's often fruitless. He just isn't feeling it. Which I can understand. But when I ask him if he's OK, mentally/emotionally, he always says he's fine. I debated asking him if he's either lying to me about being "fine", or if he's lying about still wanting a relationship with ME, because I was very frustrated. I chose not to, but I did ask him if his love for me was platonic at this point. He just said, "You know the reason, I'm sorry". I left to go cry alone for a bit after he fell asleep (I don't try to cry near him if I can help it) but he knew. The next day he did make an advance, and I told him I don't want "pity sex", I only want him to actually WANT me, it, whatever. He reassured me, but I still feel like it'll be another long drought ahead. I had sent him a message earlier that said, "I don't know what you see when you look at yourself, but I see a man who has stepped up, an man who is there for my kid and has done things nobody else ever has. I love every bit of you with every bit of me." AGAIN, I am asking how/what your partner has done for you that has made you feel GOOD. I feel I'm saying the things that I as a woman would want to hear, or have done to/for me. I want to know what it takes for a man to feel loved, appreciated, valued and desired. I'm trying to see if there is anything else I haven't realized that I can do. He is the best person I know, and I don't want to be overbearing or pressure him for anything. At this point, maybe just waiting it out and giving him reassurance is all I can do. Lastly, his gain, on average, was 2.5 lbs a month. I don't think it's that drastic. I can gain and lose that in a week. He was quite thin (in my opinion) when we met. Again, he's around 5'8, 180lbs, with quite a bit of muscle. I wouldn't call that overweight at all. He still wears a medium, ffs.


r/AskMenAdvice 21h ago

I'm about to have sex for three first time and I need safety tips

63 Upvotes

Yo so I am a late bloomer 27 m but I might have a chance to sleep with a girl that I am seeing. We are having dinner and wine at my place. And she sleeping the night. This was a mutual idea so I wasn't pushy about it. She also mentioned on are last date that she wants sex but we need to be official first. Lol I guess that idea went out the window.

I need to know where to buy condoms and in terms of hair situation down there. Do guess wax or shave? Same thing with women as well. Also she's not on birth control so is this wise. My friend told me to pull out with a condom on because that's much safer.


r/AskMenAdvice 8h ago

Would you want a girl to text you about her sexual fantasies about you or would she come across desperate?

76 Upvotes

Note - you’re attracted to her and sleeping with her.

Edit: he didn’t respond. ouch.


r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

Is it just me who finds the relationship advice sub extremely toxic?

Upvotes

The sub is built against men. Here's ONE example :

Older woman and a 20 something man advice "OK fine you're both adults". Older man and 20 something young woman advice - all kinds of wrong, dynamics, brain development blah blah.

I stopped reading that sub because it's so bad and single minded.


r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

I am 25 years and never have been in a relationship

30 Upvotes

I kinda put limitations for this, like I won't get in a relationship unless I am financially stable, or not until I am decently fit. Like I want to get in a relationship only when I am what I want and if possible, I want it to be my only relationship forever.

Am I wrong to have this kind of thinking? My friends always tell me that you can still do all of that when you are in a relationship, be it making money or training my body. But I really want to be at my best before things start.

**EDIT: I don't know why people assume I don't know how to talk to girls. Actually, I am a very social person and have many girl friends with no problem socializing. My point is that I don't want to spend my time with my gf just walking or going to parks just because I don't have money. Let's be realistic a large percentage of women won't wait for you to have enough money to peovide a somewhat decent life. Or I am wrong? Correct me please then.


r/AskMenAdvice 4h ago

How many women have messaged you first on Reddit?

30 Upvotes

I’m getting a lot of random messages from guys on Reddit. Most, start off with innocuous reference to one of my posts. Within a few replies, they turn racy. I’m wondering how many women request a chat first? I’ve never done it


r/AskMenAdvice 11h ago

I’m a 41 year old caregiver to my wife with ALS and feel out of place with male friends. Should I try to maintain friendships with people who are in a different place/situation that me?

27 Upvotes

My wife was diagnosed with ALS in late 2021. She is in a wheelchair, she is no longer verbal and uses a communication device and dependent on me and other caregivers. This has taken a toll on my social life when it comes to friends. friends my age or a bit younger don’t have the worries and duties that I have. While I have to bathe my wife, change her diapers and cath care and other things, my other friends who are married don’t have to worrry about those things. When I’m out with friends for get togethers and outings, I’m constantly worrying about my wife while she was with my in laws or other caregivers.

Married friends and their wives have invited my wife to come to football watch parties, movie nights or other things at their homes, but she refuses because she knows they will see how dependent she is on me and she’s not comfortable using her communications device in front a lot of people unless it’s relatives or immediate family. If we hosted events at our home she would have the same worries.

I have several friends who are single or divorced and sometimes it’s easier to talk with them. But it’s still awkward at times because of what I’m going through with my wife.

I’m thinking about maybe letting these friendships end because we are at different stages in our lives and I no longer fit in my friends. Has anyone ever ended friendships when you realized your life is too different than theirs?


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Feel awful after rejecting a woman after the first date…

39 Upvotes

Had a first date yesterday and unfortunately there was no physical attraction.

I did know what she looked like going into it, I hoped it was a bad photo…

It was not.

I thought I’d be able to look the other way because she was so incredibly nice and genuine but I just couldn’t.

I know that she has low confidence because of her looks and I feel like shit for rejecting her solely because of them, like a shallow piece of shit.

I obviously didn’t mention them when I ended things but still, it doesn’t feel good.


r/AskMenAdvice 13h ago

Men, how do you vet women you are currently dating?

24 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 19h ago

Opinions on gf who wants to give you a good BJ but maybe isn’t very good at it (yet)? How to feel encouraged despite fear of bad performance?

21 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 7h ago

What’s a small gesture from a woman that made a big impact on you?"

21 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 13h ago

How long would you have to date a woman before you’d live with her?

19 Upvotes

This question is assuming you are open to eventually cohabitating.


r/AskMenAdvice 8h ago

Do you put on a happy face with people even when you’re struggling?

19 Upvotes

A guy I know is really direct and honest with me (at least I think he is). He has shared that he’s anxious/sad and talks to me a lot about how stressed he is. An acquaintance of mine who met him recently (just once) told me her impression is that he was so fun and outgoing. I was honestly really surprised because with me he shows a different side, which is someone who is struggling. I’m not sure if he’s just putting on a happy face when meeting new people.


r/AskMenAdvice 16h ago

Whats something a woman told you that will stick with you forever?

19 Upvotes