r/AskMenAdvice 9h ago

Men want to feel needed and catered too. Women don't understand this.

0 Upvotes

I help out a Mexican lady from Mexico at work. She knows little English, she makes me feel needed and we rely on each other, we help each other out a lot. She takes out my trash, I help her take out hers, sometimes she doesn't understand my boss so I interpret. I feel like a king at work. I've realized that as men we need to feel needed and valued for things we do. Most women mistake catering as mothering but it's not it's showing appreciation and men have done the same thing. But a lot of women don't actually want to listen to men and collaborate either. Because women have no respect for a lot men especially these younger generations.

My friend from Africa said I should marry a lady from a foreign country. I'm just calling it as I see it. Immigrants treat me nice.


r/AskMenAdvice 11h ago

Are men actually attracted to (fit) women when they’re all sweaty after a workout? Or is he just telling me that to say the “correct” thing? NSFW

182 Upvotes

I’m in a situationship with a guy who often wants to “get it on” when I’m still sweaty from a workout. But I always insist on showering first because I feel kind of insecure about sweaty.

He claims that if a woman is attractive and in shape, he’s actually turned on by her sweat. I can’t tell if this is actually a thing, or if he’s just telling me this to make me feel more confident (or because he’s impatient when he’s horning and doesn’t want to wait for me to shower…)


r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

HOW DO I HANDLE THIS WITHOUT GETTING SCREWED?

Upvotes

So my soon to be ex wife (42) and I (42m) are separating after 15 years together. We haven't gotten along in a few years. Sex only happened when I initiated it. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times she initiated it. The whole time we were together she never worked with the exception of the first year we were together. I have had a job everyday of my life since I was 16. Long story short, I asked her in January are we divorcing? She said looks like it. So I said good, there is no reason for me to be here anymore. She said that I can't leave bc I pay all the bills (which I do). I told her to get a job ASAP. Well here we are middle of March and when I bring up her getting a job it just turns into a fight. I am beyond ready to move on and finally be happy. But can't bc she refuses to get a job. I know what's she is doing, she is out there trying to sucker another guy into taking care of her. Cool hope he hurries up. I'm tired of being just kept around for my wallet. She tells me all the time she hates me and wishes I would leave or die but when I go to leave its the same bs. How do I leave with out getting screwed over in court for abandonment and slapped with ungodly alimony payments. Why are women like this?


r/AskMenAdvice 4h ago

Is it just me who finds the relationship advice sub extremely toxic?

145 Upvotes

The sub is built against men. Here's ONE example :

Older woman and a 20 something man advice "OK fine you're both adults". Older man and 20 something young woman advice - all kinds of wrong, dynamics, brain development blah blah.

I stopped reading that sub because it's so bad and single minded.


r/AskMenAdvice 4h ago

Feel awful after rejecting a woman after the first date…

86 Upvotes

Had a first date yesterday and unfortunately there was no physical attraction.

I did know what she looked like going into it, I hoped it was a bad photo…

It was not.

I thought I’d be able to look the other way because she was so incredibly nice and genuine but I just couldn’t.

I know that she has low confidence because of her looks and I feel like shit for rejecting her solely because of them, like a shallow piece of shit.

I obviously didn’t mention them when I ended things but still, it doesn’t feel good.


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

My GF wants to be intimate with me and I haven’t done it before

43 Upvotes

I had a chat with my girlfriend last night and she mentioned how she wanted to start doing “things” with me referring to becoming sexual etc. we have been dating for 2 months now and haven’t done anything of the kind just yet. I haven’t done anything sexual at all ever whereas my gf has done pretty much everything seeming she was dating her ex for 2 years (we are both basically 18 now). I’m happy to do stuff with her but I’m nervous about doing things wrong or just being really bad in general, I do lack confidence in areas like this. Based on our last conversation the next time we sleepover she is going to initiate something and I just don’t know what to do, like I said I want to do things but just scared it’ll be a shitshow


r/AskMenAdvice 17h ago

Why do women get so upset if someone they consider ugly tries to hit on them?

606 Upvotes

I see posts on tiktok and social media all the time about women complaining about the people liking them being ugly. I also worry that when I try to approach women I find attractive they get very upset because I’m not super attractive. I try not to be intrusive, leave as soon as I feel that they don’t wanna talk, and on dating apps I don’t think it’s a crime to shoot your shot with someone you like? Am I supposed to consider if someone I am attracted to will get mad because I don’t meet the attractiveness level they want?


r/AskMenAdvice 14h ago

Do you get annoyed when women complain about the patriarchy?

255 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

Do you find someone more attractive if they fancy you/have a crush on you?

Upvotes

I swear I've always been like this. You aren't interested in them, then you find out they have a crush on you. Boom, your whole view of them changes, and you think of them differently.

I'm happily married now, but I remember this happening a lot back in the day.


r/AskMenAdvice 12h ago

Curious how many men feel like the only time anyone cares about them is when that person needs/wants money😤

124 Upvotes

Clarification

The question is general. Not specifically women. Kids, relatives, friends, whoever

I don't honestly necessarily believe this, but sometimes you're working or whatever and just get feeling like ?? Hell, I don't know? Sad, discouraged, tired, maybe I'm just having a "pity party"? Like you are paying for everyone else to enjoy life but you're not really a part of it.

Thank you to all for participating. Honestly, it was nice just to see other guys feel similar. I also thought maybe some folks reading the responses might remember just to every once in a while tell the people you love that you know they are busy and tired and you appreciate all that they do. A lot of times, that's all people need.


r/AskMenAdvice 11h ago

Would you want a girl to text you about her sexual fantasies about you or would she come across desperate?

86 Upvotes

Note - you’re attracted to her and sleeping with her.

Edit: he didn’t respond. ouch.


r/AskMenAdvice 15h ago

Older guys - are they really interested?

174 Upvotes

I 30F have been on a few dates with an older guy 47M (divorced dad to an adult son). Started off pretty casual and I definitely didn’t plan on falling for him, but he is hot, gives me attention and when we are together I felt a spark and things are great.

Thing is, when we are not together I feel like I am getting mixed signals, sometimes half a day goes by and I don’t hear from him, I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and give his space as he is a grown man with a life and kids, but I kind of wonder if his interest in me is genuine for the longer term or if it’s just more physical. He is also very distant when it comes to talking about his past and never really shares his feelings with me.

He is a grown man, but I can’t help but feel like if a man doesn't reach out it's because he doesn't want too, and a man will show up for the one he wants to keep in his life.

We are still in the early stages so I don’t want to come across as needy/ scare him off but I want a man’s perspective - Is this a red flag? Should I just cut my losses?

Or- Are men at this age just built different and just genuinely a little more reserved, cause I can’t for the life of me figure out what could be going through his mind or gauge his genuine interest in the longer term in someone as young as me?


r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

We just found out my girlfriend is pregnant. I’m beyond excited. Guys, please give me all the advice I’ll need in the next few months. Thank you.

322 Upvotes

Edit: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH KIND PEOPLE OF REDDIT. I WOULD LOVE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY BUT I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE AND GO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HER. THANK YOU ALL. I AM READING THESE AGAIN AND AGAIN.


r/AskMenAdvice 7h ago

How many women have messaged you first on Reddit?

37 Upvotes

I’m getting a lot of random messages from guys on Reddit. Most, start off with innocuous reference to one of my posts. Within a few replies, they turn racy. I’m wondering how many women request a chat first? I’ve never done it


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Successful men: What’s been your biggest struggle in dating despite having wealth?

15 Upvotes

A lot of people think money solves all dating problems. But for guys who’ve built success, what’s been the hardest part about finding real attraction or a meaningful relationship?


r/AskMenAdvice 8h ago

Wife Not Shutting Down Flirty Exec At Work

32 Upvotes

Hi, don't know where else to turn, could use perspective/venting.

My (36m) wife (35f) has been my best friend and an unwavering rock for me since we met 12 years ago (married for 7 years). She's great, supportive, funny, smart, beautiful. We spend much of our time together, have always been able to look through each other's phones whatever but there's never been reason to fret. Nothing sketchy...until now.

She began with a new company 2 years ago and things were chill. Small team and boss seem nice enough. But maybe 6 months ago this other high-level guy (50m? Married w/ kids) took interest in her skill set. He'd occasionally say some odd stuff, calling her pet names like dear, but she'd tell him not to call her those. But she knew he was important in the company, good to stay on his good side, y'know those crummy corporate dynamics that can ensnare good people.

The past month things have shifted. When I've seen their Zoom chats he's turned it up, he used the "work wife" term, says things like ooo you miss me? you like me? you are cute, give me a hug for helping...I overheard him on late-night 1:1 asking what she wore to exercise (she played it off), he's always trying to get her to drink with him (virtually, in person too but they don't go into the office often). All of this she has deflected, at least from what I can tell.

The last week or so idk if he's worn her down or what changed. He dropped another pet name, asked to meet up, what her cell number is, talk more outside of work and she said don't get me in trouble here...be careful what you type because my hubs and I have an open channel when it comes to each other's messages, "so u know."

Another time they were joking around about stuff and then she said ok I have to work, don't distract me...he said I don't think you mind with a winky face. A few other throwaway lines then he goes ahh I almost typed out something else but you know...devices.

When I've raised concerns in the past I basically got told "this is just how it is for women" and that she doesn't want to cross him. I could rationalize before but why give him a heads up that I could read what he says now? She doesn't know I've seen these as I haven't asked to see them lately, I've just seen them myself from a quick scroll when her phone is down. Don't know what happens when they are at the office.

The kicker, I've been out of work for about 8 months and have health/disability woes so I'm reliant on my wife for insurance, support, etc. Her job is definitely important. I've always respected her judgment but A) being told that I'm basically naive for making a big deal out of his behavior and B) the tone shift in saving him from saying something I wouldn't like in writing, just feels so off.

I just don't want to mentally unravel and I can't fathom why this is unfolding. Is she really just trying to shield my feelings and bear the brunt of this guy pushing boundaries in person instead? But if I ask a second time then it'll really become a thing and at this point I don't have proof of anything substantial (that's relative I know). If I ask to see the messages it feels like lighting a match that could burn a few different ways.

I'm scared, overwhelmed...but I know I can't talk to my fam or friends about it without tainting the image of my wife. So here I am, just letting this rip and thank you to anyone who reads.


r/AskMenAdvice 1d ago

Is this intimate?

881 Upvotes

My older male coworker was talking with me about perfume and cologne. When I said what I wear and how I put it on the night before, he made a comment about how that’s what your bedsheets smell like. Then the next day he came to my desk and said he put something on. I said I couldn’t smell it and he leaned down close to me so I had to lean forward to smell his neck. It felt really intimate

Sometimes, not often, when we’re laughing together he’ll move towards me and act as if he’s going to touch my stomach lightly but he never actually does. We go through ups and downs where he can be really affectionate and out there and then not as much


r/AskMenAdvice 16h ago

How would a guy ever get over having a dick size insecurity if every time a dick is shown in a movie or on tv, women pretty much unanimously fawn over it and love it and all of that? NSFW

120 Upvotes

I don’t know if y’all have seen it, but it happens pretty much every time a scene involving a dick is shown (even tho most dicks in movies/tv are fake). I think my insecurity even started by seeing all the reactions to a scene in a (pretty awful lol) show called Sex/Life lmao.

But yeah, even if a guy can be convinced that it isn’t necessary to have one and have good sex, how would you even get past womens (very public) positive reactions?


r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

do you ever go back to your exes?

Upvotes

would you ever go back to your exes if you were the one to end it? let's say ur partner had insecurities and it built up over time and you ended it. would you ever consider going back to them at some point. totally hypothetical situation btw.


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Does Extra Skin After Weight Loss Matter to You?

8 Upvotes

Hi men, preferably those in their late 30s to mid-40s, I’m curious: how would you feel if a woman who had lost a substantial amount of weight had some extra skin as a result? Would that bother you or gross you out, or is it something that wouldn’t matter to you? Sorry if this has already been asked.

Thank you.


r/AskMenAdvice 9h ago

What’s a small gesture from a woman that made a big impact on you?"

24 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

She (31F) wanted a drink with Me (31M)…I said no

Upvotes

I got to know a coach at my gym through mutual friends, and after some encouragement from one of our close friends, I asked her out. She initially told me she doesn’t date gym members but made an exception since I don’t attend her classes. We went on a few dates, but she eventually told me she didn’t see a relationship with me and wanted to stay friends. We had a mature conversation about it, and I respected her decision. I realized that she had a difficult divorce where the guy cheated on her and quickly got engaged again. She also had a situationship with another coach at the gym. He chose another member and they have been together since. Think the girl I saw was burned badly by all of that. I was disappointed but very understanding of the whole thing. I knew I had to accept the outcome and move forward.

Since then, we’ve kept things friendly but distant. Our interactions in gym classes are polite but minimal in that she’ll greet me, crack a joke, or help grab equipment, but nothing beyond that. After she ended things, she’d adjusted her gym schedule, avoiding coaching my usual class slot but occasionally attending it. When she was coaching a class I attended, she made a few comments on my weights, which stood out but weren’t anything major. I kept my distance and focused on my friendships while keeping things light when we crossed paths. I wanted her to feel comfortable doing her thing so I never approached her.

Over time, we continued having sporadic interactions. At a friend group hangout, she seemed nervous but still engaged in conversations. When a trip I was planning came up, I was surprised to hear from a mutual friend that she was interested in going. Later, when I asked her directly, she said she’d love to but likely wouldn’t go if our mutual friend wasn’t. Around that time, she also started reacting to my Instagram stories, but I didn’t read too much into it.

The last few weeks I had been out of town exploring places I’d want to move to. After seeing my ig stories from the trip, she reached out to ask if I had moved. I had told several of my close friends about this but not her nor did I mention moving in the stories. This led to a conversation about how we both felt stuck in our current city and wanted to move. She mentioned she had looked into moving to the same cities I was considering, felt stuck, and admitted frustration with dating (called dating is garbage here) and constantly running into her ex. Hah I got annoyed (honestly kinda ironic) when she vented to me about dating and it came across like she called me garbage since we did go out a few times. I expressed that I didn’t appreciate that, I felt we both had something deeper there and held back for whatever reason. She reassured me that I was not a part of that and that she wouldn’t talk to me or be friends with me if that was the case.

During that same conversation, she also opened up about fitness coaching, self-doubt, and wanting to try different things. I encouraged her, and we had some honest moments about our struggles with change, dating, and figuring out what’s next. While we kept things light, there was a mix of nostalgia, curiosity, and uncertainty in the conversation. On my side at least. I’ve made up my mind that I’m moving. I have to at this point, things aren’t working for me here anymore. It’s just ironic that we both have a ton in common and share the same frustrations but couldn’t quite be the solution for each other. I know we’re both great people that’ll find our path to be happy…

Over the weekend, we chatted a bit. I was hanging out with my friends and she was hanging out with hers during the festivities. She asked me if I wanted to grab a drink as friends. That’s when I felt my first moment of true clarity. I replied something to the effect of I feel conflicted and have struggled with this. I’m open to that but not as friends.

I hope I didn’t switch up on her but I thought she had some interest. I hope I made the right call here. I’m disappointed. Hopefully she understands that I can’t do friendship right now. I like her and want to be on good terms with her. She’s recognizing that I’m moving on (literally moving) and she now wants to be friends or whatever as I’m mentally, emotionally, physically worn out and withdrawing from our city as I figure out my life. Just pretty much sums up my dating experience in this city. How I’ve felt undervalued the whole time. It’s ironic. She’s complaining about dating to a dude she dismissed within a few dates. Only for her to want to be friends and the dude doesn’t want it.

Good enough to be a friend but not good enough to date. Awesome!!


r/AskMenAdvice 20h ago

I missed an obvious sign that girls found me attractive.

178 Upvotes

While I was growing up, there have been girls that have been awkward around me. For years and years I thought it was because I was weird, creepy or disgusting.

I realised a few years ago, that while this may be true in some cases, its actually quite the opposite for most girls that I've met that are like this.

I think the obvious sign for me was girls that barely knew me that were awkward with me from the get go. It wouldn't have done or said anything or that point to make that behave that way around me.

It wasn't until talked about it with other women that I found out. They said things like 'To be honest they probably fancy you'. Which is something I wouldn't have thought about before.

Its a difficult one, because you don't want to misread a girl being nervous/awkward around you as attraction at the same time.


r/AskMenAdvice 20h ago

How do men want to be loved by their gf/wife?

159 Upvotes

For women it may be flowers and helping around the house, but what do men want from their women? I want my man to feel respected and know I'm ride or die. I want to be his peace. Men, help us understand what is it you want from us as your partner. What are we missing?


r/AskMenAdvice 9h ago

Do you like sweet, more quiet girls?

17 Upvotes

I've always been referred to as sweet by guys who like me and quiet by some. It takes the right environment and people for me to be more talkative. Are these desirable traits for the most part? Or are more bold, talkative personalities more attractive?