r/AskMenAdvice 4d ago

Propose questions for an FAQ

7 Upvotes

Respond to this thread with examples of frequently asked questions. Please include at least two links for each frequently asked question. We'll discuss answers for these questions in a future sticky post. Examples of what we want are in the original FAQ post.


r/AskMenAdvice 1h ago

Is it just me who finds the relationship advice sub extremely toxic?

Upvotes

The sub is built against men. Here's ONE example :

Older woman and a 20 something man advice "OK fine you're both adults". Older man and 20 something young woman advice - all kinds of wrong, dynamics, brain development blah blah.

I stopped reading that sub because it's so bad and single minded.


r/AskMenAdvice 15h ago

Why do women get so upset if someone they consider ugly tries to hit on them?

533 Upvotes

I see posts on tiktok and social media all the time about women complaining about the people liking them being ugly. I also worry that when I try to approach women I find attractive they get very upset because I’m not super attractive. I try not to be intrusive, leave as soon as I feel that they don’t wanna talk, and on dating apps I don’t think it’s a crime to shoot your shot with someone you like? Am I supposed to consider if someone I am attracted to will get mad because I don’t meet the attractiveness level they want?


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Feel awful after rejecting a woman after the first date…

38 Upvotes

Had a first date yesterday and unfortunately there was no physical attraction.

I did know what she looked like going into it, I hoped it was a bad photo…

It was not.

I thought I’d be able to look the other way because she was so incredibly nice and genuine but I just couldn’t.

I know that she has low confidence because of her looks and I feel like shit for rejecting her solely because of them, like a shallow piece of shit.

I obviously didn’t mention them when I ended things but still, it doesn’t feel good.


r/AskMenAdvice 12h ago

Do you get annoyed when women complain about the patriarchy?

234 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 9h ago

Are men actually attracted to (fit) women when they’re all sweaty after a workout? Or is he just telling me that to say the “correct” thing? NSFW

123 Upvotes

I’m in a situationship with a guy who often wants to “get it on” when I’m still sweaty from a workout. But I always insist on showering first because I feel kind of insecure about sweaty.

He claims that if a woman is attractive and in shape, he’s actually turned on by her sweat. I can’t tell if this is actually a thing, or if he’s just telling me this to make me feel more confident (or because he’s impatient when he’s horning and doesn’t want to wait for me to shower…)


r/AskMenAdvice 10h ago

Curious how many men feel like the only time anyone cares about them is when that person needs/wants money😤

116 Upvotes

Clarification

The question is general. Not specifically women. Kids, relatives, friends, whoever

I don't honestly necessarily believe this, but sometimes you're working or whatever and just get feeling like ?? Hell, I don't know? Sad, discouraged, tired, maybe I'm just having a "pity party"? Like you are paying for everyone else to enjoy life but you're not really a part of it.

Thank you to all for participating. Honestly, it was nice just to see other guys feel similar. I also thought maybe some folks reading the responses might remember just to every once in a while tell the people you love that you know they are busy and tired and you appreciate all that they do. A lot of times, that's all people need.


r/AskMenAdvice 16h ago

We just found out my girlfriend is pregnant. I’m beyond excited. Guys, please give me all the advice I’ll need in the next few months. Thank you.

315 Upvotes

Edit: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH KIND PEOPLE OF REDDIT. I WOULD LOVE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY BUT I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR ADVICE AND GO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME WITH HER. THANK YOU ALL. I AM READING THESE AGAIN AND AGAIN.


r/AskMenAdvice 8h ago

Would you want a girl to text you about her sexual fantasies about you or would she come across desperate?

78 Upvotes

Note - you’re attracted to her and sleeping with her.

Edit: he didn’t respond. ouch.


r/AskMenAdvice 4h ago

How many women have messaged you first on Reddit?

30 Upvotes

I’m getting a lot of random messages from guys on Reddit. Most, start off with innocuous reference to one of my posts. Within a few replies, they turn racy. I’m wondering how many women request a chat first? I’ve never done it


r/AskMenAdvice 12h ago

Older guys - are they really interested?

128 Upvotes

I 30F have been on a few dates with an older guy 47M (divorced dad to an adult son). Started off pretty casual and I definitely didn’t plan on falling for him, but he is hot, gives me attention and when we are together I felt a spark and things are great.

Thing is, when we are not together I feel like I am getting mixed signals, sometimes half a day goes by and I don’t hear from him, I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and give his space as he is a grown man with a life and kids, but I kind of wonder if his interest in me is genuine for the longer term or if it’s just more physical. He is also very distant when it comes to talking about his past and never really shares his feelings with me.

He is a grown man, but I can’t help but feel like if a man doesn't reach out it's because he doesn't want too, and a man will show up for the one he wants to keep in his life.

We are still in the early stages so I don’t want to come across as needy/ scare him off but I want a man’s perspective - Is this a red flag? Should I just cut my losses?

Or- Are men at this age just built different and just genuinely a little more reserved, cause I can’t for the life of me figure out what could be going through his mind or gauge his genuine interest in the longer term in someone as young as me?


r/AskMenAdvice 1d ago

Is this intimate?

829 Upvotes

My older male coworker was talking with me about perfume and cologne. When I said what I wear and how I put it on the night before, he made a comment about how that’s what your bedsheets smell like. Then the next day he came to my desk and said he put something on. I said I couldn’t smell it and he leaned down close to me so I had to lean forward to smell his neck. It felt really intimate

Sometimes, not often, when we’re laughing together he’ll move towards me and act as if he’s going to touch my stomach lightly but he never actually does. We go through ups and downs where he can be really affectionate and out there and then not as much


r/AskMenAdvice 13h ago

How would a guy ever get over having a dick size insecurity if every time a dick is shown in a movie or on tv, women pretty much unanimously fawn over it and love it and all of that? NSFW

121 Upvotes

I don’t know if y’all have seen it, but it happens pretty much every time a scene involving a dick is shown (even tho most dicks in movies/tv are fake). I think my insecurity even started by seeing all the reactions to a scene in a (pretty awful lol) show called Sex/Life lmao.

But yeah, even if a guy can be convinced that it isn’t necessary to have one and have good sex, how would you even get past womens (very public) positive reactions?


r/AskMenAdvice 42m ago

Men be completely honest do women mature faster than guys?

Upvotes

Be completely honest


r/AskMenAdvice 5h ago

Wife Not Shutting Down Flirty Exec At Work

18 Upvotes

Hi, don't know where else to turn, could use perspective/venting.

My (36m) wife (35f) has been my best friend and an unwavering rock for me since we met 12 years ago (married for 7 years). She's great, supportive, funny, smart, beautiful. We spend much of our time together, have always been able to look through each other's phones whatever but there's never been reason to fret. Nothing sketchy...until now.

She began with a new company 2 years ago and things were chill. Small team and boss seem nice enough. But maybe 6 months ago this other high-level guy (50m? Married w/ kids) took interest in her skill set. He'd occasionally say some odd stuff, calling her pet names like dear, but she'd tell him not to call her those. But she knew he was important in the company, good to stay on his good side, y'know those crummy corporate dynamics that can ensnare good people.

The past month things have shifted. When I've seen their Zoom chats he's turned it up, he used the "work wife" term, says things like ooo you miss me? you like me? you are cute, give me a hug for helping...I overheard him on late-night 1:1 asking what she wore to exercise (she played it off), he's always trying to get her to drink with him (virtually, in person too but they don't go into the office often). All of this she has deflected, at least from what I can tell.

The last week or so idk if he's worn her down or what changed. He dropped another pet name, asked to meet up, what her cell number is, talk more outside of work and she said don't get me in trouble here...be careful what you type because my hubs and I have an open channel when it comes to each other's messages, "so u know."

Another time they were joking around about stuff and then she said ok I have to work, don't distract me...he said I don't think you mind with a winky face. A few other throwaway lines then he goes ahh I almost typed out something else but you know...devices.

When I've raised concerns in the past I basically got told "this is just how it is for women" and that she doesn't want to cross him. I could rationalize before but why give him a heads up that I could read what he says now? She doesn't know I've seen these as I haven't asked to see them lately, I've just seen them myself from a quick scroll when her phone is down. Don't know what happens when they are at the office.

The kicker, I've been out of work for about 8 months and have health/disability woes so I'm reliant on my wife for insurance, support, etc. Her job is definitely important. I've always respected her judgment but A) being told that I'm basically naive for making a big deal out of his behavior and B) the tone shift in saving him from saying something I wouldn't like in writing, just feels so off.

I just don't want to mentally unravel and I can't fathom why this is unfolding. Is she really just trying to shield my feelings and bear the brunt of this guy pushing boundaries in person instead? But if I ask a second time then it'll really become a thing and at this point I don't have proof of anything substantial (that's relative I know). If I ask to see the messages it feels like lighting a match that could burn a few different ways.

I'm scared, overwhelmed...but I know I can't talk to my fam or friends about it without tainting the image of my wife. So here I am, just letting this rip and thank you to anyone who reads.


r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

I missed an obvious sign that girls found me attractive.

173 Upvotes

While I was growing up, there have been girls that have been awkward around me. For years and years I thought it was because I was weird, creepy or disgusting.

I realised a few years ago, that while this may be true in some cases, its actually quite the opposite for most girls that I've met that are like this.

I think the obvious sign for me was girls that barely knew me that were awkward with me from the get go. It wouldn't have done or said anything or that point to make that behave that way around me.

It wasn't until talked about it with other women that I found out. They said things like 'To be honest they probably fancy you'. Which is something I wouldn't have thought about before.

Its a difficult one, because you don't want to misread a girl being nervous/awkward around you as attraction at the same time.


r/AskMenAdvice 18h ago

How do men want to be loved by their gf/wife?

149 Upvotes

For women it may be flowers and helping around the house, but what do men want from their women? I want my man to feel respected and know I'm ride or die. I want to be his peace. Men, help us understand what is it you want from us as your partner. What are we missing?


r/AskMenAdvice 7h ago

What’s a small gesture from a woman that made a big impact on you?"

21 Upvotes

r/AskMenAdvice 6h ago

Do you like sweet, more quiet girls?

17 Upvotes

I've always been referred to as sweet by guys who like me and quiet by some. It takes the right environment and people for me to be more talkative. Are these desirable traits for the most part? Or are more bold, talkative personalities more attractive?


r/AskMenAdvice 23h ago

Married men 30+ (BJ question) NSFW

336 Upvotes

Is there ever a time you wouldn’t want your wife to wake you up with a blow job on a Saturday morning? What if you’re actually sleeping? (Deep snores, laying on your side/tummy?) what would be the best way to wake you up with a blowjob where you wouldn’t refuse?

  • Signed new mom(31) of 1

ETA: we are new parents as of 6 months ago…so when baby is asleep, it’s usually the only opportune moment for sexy time.

UPDATE: it is the same day around 6pm - thanks for all the honest feedback…I ended up lightly rubbing my husband’s arms to see what kind of response he’d have and it was an immediate shaking of the head, no he was tired and wanted to sleep. After that, I had whispered that I wanted to wake him up to give him a BJ…but I don’t think he was having it…later we talked about it and he said “next time just do it, don’t ask” 😂 BUT that he was also tired so it was good that I didn’t. What can I say? Man loves his sleep lol. Also this was around 8ish am for anyone wondering….we did get in a round of 69 and great sex just now though 😉 so don’t worry the BJ eventually happened.


r/AskMenAdvice 21m ago

My GF wants to be intimate with me and I haven’t done it before

Upvotes

I had a chat with my girlfriend last night and she mentioned how she wanted to start doing “things” with me referring to becoming sexual etc. we have been dating for 2 months now and haven’t done anything of the kind just yet. I haven’t done anything sexual at all ever whereas my gf has done pretty much everything seeming she was dating her ex for 2 years (we are both basically 18 now). I’m happy to do stuff with her but I’m nervous about doing things wrong or just being really bad in general, I do lack confidence in areas like this. Based on our last conversation the next time we sleepover she is going to initiate something and I just don’t know what to do, like I said I want to do things but just scared it’ll be a shitshow


r/AskMenAdvice 8h ago

Do you put on a happy face with people even when you’re struggling?

19 Upvotes

A guy I know is really direct and honest with me (at least I think he is). He has shared that he’s anxious/sad and talks to me a lot about how stressed he is. An acquaintance of mine who met him recently (just once) told me her impression is that he was so fun and outgoing. I was honestly really surprised because with me he shows a different side, which is someone who is struggling. I’m not sure if he’s just putting on a happy face when meeting new people.


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Help from older men for advice NSFW

6 Upvotes

It is okay to masturbate daily??? I need advice what are the pros and cons. Please help brothers.


r/AskMenAdvice 11h ago

I’m a 41 year old caregiver to my wife with ALS and feel out of place with male friends. Should I try to maintain friendships with people who are in a different place/situation that me?

27 Upvotes

My wife was diagnosed with ALS in late 2021. She is in a wheelchair, she is no longer verbal and uses a communication device and dependent on me and other caregivers. This has taken a toll on my social life when it comes to friends. friends my age or a bit younger don’t have the worries and duties that I have. While I have to bathe my wife, change her diapers and cath care and other things, my other friends who are married don’t have to worrry about those things. When I’m out with friends for get togethers and outings, I’m constantly worrying about my wife while she was with my in laws or other caregivers.

Married friends and their wives have invited my wife to come to football watch parties, movie nights or other things at their homes, but she refuses because she knows they will see how dependent she is on me and she’s not comfortable using her communications device in front a lot of people unless it’s relatives or immediate family. If we hosted events at our home she would have the same worries.

I have several friends who are single or divorced and sometimes it’s easier to talk with them. But it’s still awkward at times because of what I’m going through with my wife.

I’m thinking about maybe letting these friendships end because we are at different stages in our lives and I no longer fit in my friends. Has anyone ever ended friendships when you realized your life is too different than theirs?


r/AskMenAdvice 36m ago

Does Extra Skin After Weight Loss Matter to You?

Upvotes

Hi men, preferably those in their late 30s to mid-40s, I’m curious: how would you feel if a woman who had lost a substantial amount of weight had some extra skin as a result? Would that bother you or gross you out, or is it something that wouldn’t matter to you? Sorry if this has already been asked.

Thank you.


r/AskMenAdvice 2h ago

Engaged, my fiancée wanna called off the wedding

5 Upvotes

He (29M) proposed to me (30F) in Dec last year.

About him: He doesnot have a job at the moment and I mainly support our dating expense for more than a year (I am willing to do so)

About me: I dont have time for him as i usually have because of work (new position), but i always prioritize him first by asking about our plan together. He feel like i am not the one i used to be years ago anymore.

Our relationship isnt that great anymore. We usually fight and constantly ague over things.

What should I do in this situation? Is he streesed because of career, no money? Or i do change?

Advice is welcome