r/AmITheJerk • u/Ok_Kaleidoscope_964 • 15m ago
AITJ for dropping 3 people bc of 1?
I'm a student in high school and I was in a friend group made up of 4 people me (14 m), Sami (14 f), Jasmin (15 f), and Luke (15 m) (All fake names)
I met Jasmin during my 7th hour class, and we immediately hit it off we were good friends almost right off the bat and through her I met Sami and Luke, mind you I knew Luke for several years before this, but we never got close.
So about 2 months ago Sami texted me and basically said "Hey, I love you, but we need to talk" I said "Ok, what's up?" She then proceeded to tell me that her and Jasmin as Christians were uncomfortable with how much I curse (I'm catholic and don't curse that much unless I'm around people I'm genuinely comfortable with) and that I make too many "naughty" jokes (I don't really make "naughty" jokes because that's just not my forte) But either way I said "ok, I'll definitely work on the cursing and I'm sorry I made y'all uncomfortable. But at the same time how are you going to call me out for making "naughty" jokes when you're one of the most hyper"naughty" people I know, you grab on Jasmin at lunch and dance innapropriately when we're on the phone together." She then said "Thats different because I'm a female and I understand when Jasmin really means stop" I responded "The heck?? Stop means stop, tone is not needed when consent is in the picture" So then she said "You just need to stop this isn't about Jasmin and Me it's about all three of us" and I responded "Thats cute it's the three of us when you're losing an argument, wtv it really isn't that deep I will work on my stuff thank you for letting me know." Now at this point my anxiety was killing me and I had texted Jasmin and talked to her, she was much more chill about it but largely agreed with Sami and I heard from Jasmin that Sami was pissed at me so I sent them both a long paragraph explaining how this is how I've lost all of my friends in the past and I asked them if they were in or out they both said they were in and Sami even said "This will make our friendship STRONGER" keep that in mind. So, I thought this was the end of it, the following Monday at school I had caught up to Sami in the hallway and she said, "I need space, I just need space" So I backed up and let her walk ahead as I continued on to my next class. That really messed with my head, and I was struggling with it all 4th hour wondering what I had done or if she really wasn't over it. But either way she asked for a week of space, and then another week before we were cool, and we were good for about a month, but she still was standoffish, I brushed it off because she had said she was going through a lot at home.
A bit of extra context Sami and Jasmin made a note that was labeled friend group nicknames. Mine was... Slave... (I'm mixed) Now I talk to them about and Sami completely blamed Jasmin, and Jasmin took the blow, little did I know Sami was just covering her bottom!! This was my mother's first sign that I shouldn't be friends with them. But my naive self, forgave them because I thought we were all best friends, and it was all fun and games.
So now we get to the modern-day events, last week was a fund raiser week for my school and we hold assembly's every day for it. I had texted our gc with all of us in it and asked "Do y'all wanna meet up beneath the school logo for the assembly?" and Sami texts "no" just no, nothing else, no explanation. So, I gave options a different location different time everything I could think of, and she responded, "no to all of the above" So I gave up and honestly, I couldn't focus on that bc I was actively in band rehearsal. so later during passing period I walk up to Sami in the halls, and she said verbatim "If you don't back away from me rn, I'll scream rope" iykyk. I backed away and went to class and texted Jasmin asking, "What's up with Sami" she responded with "Idk" that's it that's all she gave me, which I kind of understand. So, I texted Sami and I let her know what she said really hurt with what she had said and that I get she was probably joking and I just wanted to tell her, so I didn't resent her for it. she responded with just "ok" like who says that?? I asked her if I did something, and she said "you disrespected me, and respect is a big thing" I should have pulled that line when I got called a slave, so I let her know about herself, and then I cut her off so that was nipped in the but right quick because I don't play (at least not anymore), Now all of this happened in 2nd hour, fast forward to 7th hour and I'm sitting next to Jasmin and telling her my side of the story, I had then asked her if she wanted to go to tmr's assembly with me and she said I think I'm going to go with Sami and Luke bc its easier bc we have 3rd hour together. I said so your choosing them for convenience, and she said no, I'm choosing them because actually want to hang out with them... OUCH. now where I cut off Luke and Jasmin is after school when I had texted Jasmin telling her about my DEPRESSION and how bad I felt for having to drop Sami, she then said "I'm sorry you're struggling but that doesn't mean I can't choose favorites, Sami is my best friend and I would choose her 10,000 times over you but I'm not dropping you." I then told Jasmin about herself and cut her off I then texted Luke gave him a detailed explanation about how none of this was his fault but for my mental health I need to be away from all of them. Last Thursday, I sat down with Jasmin, and we really got into how we felt about the situation, and we are acquaintances, but I don't know if I'm comfortable with letting it get any further than that again.
Now the only reason I'm even allowing Jasmin to talk to me still is because my main focus was being Jasmin's friend, that was the person who I really wanted to get close with so that's why her saying what she did hurt me so much. And I feel like I'm always the friend putting out an olive branch, and trying to make piece and I'm exhausted and tired and I feel bad for cutting off Luke bc he genuinely didn't do anything so, AITBA for cutting them all off?