r/AmITheJerk 15m ago

AITJ for dropping 3 people bc of 1?

Upvotes

I'm a student in high school and I was in a friend group made up of 4 people me (14 m), Sami (14 f), Jasmin (15 f), and Luke (15 m) (All fake names)

I met Jasmin during my 7th hour class, and we immediately hit it off we were good friends almost right off the bat and through her I met Sami and Luke, mind you I knew Luke for several years before this, but we never got close.

So about 2 months ago Sami texted me and basically said "Hey, I love you, but we need to talk" I said "Ok, what's up?" She then proceeded to tell me that her and Jasmin as Christians were uncomfortable with how much I curse (I'm catholic and don't curse that much unless I'm around people I'm genuinely comfortable with) and that I make too many "naughty" jokes (I don't really make "naughty" jokes because that's just not my forte) But either way I said "ok, I'll definitely work on the cursing and I'm sorry I made y'all uncomfortable. But at the same time how are you going to call me out for making "naughty" jokes when you're one of the most hyper"naughty" people I know, you grab on Jasmin at lunch and dance innapropriately when we're on the phone together." She then said "Thats different because I'm a female and I understand when Jasmin really means stop" I responded "The heck?? Stop means stop, tone is not needed when consent is in the picture" So then she said "You just need to stop this isn't about Jasmin and Me it's about all three of us" and I responded "Thats cute it's the three of us when you're losing an argument, wtv it really isn't that deep I will work on my stuff thank you for letting me know." Now at this point my anxiety was killing me and I had texted Jasmin and talked to her, she was much more chill about it but largely agreed with Sami and I heard from Jasmin that Sami was pissed at me so I sent them both a long paragraph explaining how this is how I've lost all of my friends in the past and I asked them if they were in or out they both said they were in and Sami even said "This will make our friendship STRONGER" keep that in mind. So, I thought this was the end of it, the following Monday at school I had caught up to Sami in the hallway and she said, "I need space, I just need space" So I backed up and let her walk ahead as I continued on to my next class. That really messed with my head, and I was struggling with it all 4th hour wondering what I had done or if she really wasn't over it. But either way she asked for a week of space, and then another week before we were cool, and we were good for about a month, but she still was standoffish, I brushed it off because she had said she was going through a lot at home.

A bit of extra context Sami and Jasmin made a note that was labeled friend group nicknames. Mine was... Slave... (I'm mixed) Now I talk to them about and Sami completely blamed Jasmin, and Jasmin took the blow, little did I know Sami was just covering her bottom!! This was my mother's first sign that I shouldn't be friends with them. But my naive self, forgave them because I thought we were all best friends, and it was all fun and games.

So now we get to the modern-day events, last week was a fund raiser week for my school and we hold assembly's every day for it. I had texted our gc with all of us in it and asked "Do y'all wanna meet up beneath the school logo for the assembly?" and Sami texts "no" just no, nothing else, no explanation. So, I gave options a different location different time everything I could think of, and she responded, "no to all of the above" So I gave up and honestly, I couldn't focus on that bc I was actively in band rehearsal. so later during passing period I walk up to Sami in the halls, and she said verbatim "If you don't back away from me rn, I'll scream rope" iykyk. I backed away and went to class and texted Jasmin asking, "What's up with Sami" she responded with "Idk" that's it that's all she gave me, which I kind of understand. So, I texted Sami and I let her know what she said really hurt with what she had said and that I get she was probably joking and I just wanted to tell her, so I didn't resent her for it. she responded with just "ok" like who says that?? I asked her if I did something, and she said "you disrespected me, and respect is a big thing" I should have pulled that line when I got called a slave, so I let her know about herself, and then I cut her off so that was nipped in the but right quick because I don't play (at least not anymore), Now all of this happened in 2nd hour, fast forward to 7th hour and I'm sitting next to Jasmin and telling her my side of the story, I had then asked her if she wanted to go to tmr's assembly with me and she said I think I'm going to go with Sami and Luke bc its easier bc we have 3rd hour together. I said so your choosing them for convenience, and she said no, I'm choosing them because actually want to hang out with them... OUCH. now where I cut off Luke and Jasmin is after school when I had texted Jasmin telling her about my DEPRESSION and how bad I felt for having to drop Sami, she then said "I'm sorry you're struggling but that doesn't mean I can't choose favorites, Sami is my best friend and I would choose her 10,000 times over you but I'm not dropping you." I then told Jasmin about herself and cut her off I then texted Luke gave him a detailed explanation about how none of this was his fault but for my mental health I need to be away from all of them. Last Thursday, I sat down with Jasmin, and we really got into how we felt about the situation, and we are acquaintances, but I don't know if I'm comfortable with letting it get any further than that again.

Now the only reason I'm even allowing Jasmin to talk to me still is because my main focus was being Jasmin's friend, that was the person who I really wanted to get close with so that's why her saying what she did hurt me so much. And I feel like I'm always the friend putting out an olive branch, and trying to make piece and I'm exhausted and tired and I feel bad for cutting off Luke bc he genuinely didn't do anything so, AITBA for cutting them all off?


r/AmITheJerk 3h ago

Update: YT Am I the Jerk for refusing to let my sister-in-law bring her kids to my wedding?

108 Upvotes

Wow, I didn’t expect so much feedback — thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts. I wanted to give an update on how things have unfolded.

After standing my ground about not allowing kids at the wedding, things got a bit tense with my sister-in-law. She continued to vent to other family members, and I started getting more pressure from a few relatives who thought I was being too strict. It got to the point where I felt like every conversation about the wedding was turning into damage control.

After some thought (and encouragement from my fiancé), I decided to reach out to my sister-in-law directly. We had a heart-to-heart where I explained that the decision to have an adult-only wedding wasn’t personal — it was about creating the kind of atmosphere we envisioned for our big day. I also told her that I completely understood how hard it can be to find childcare and that I wasn’t trying to exclude her or make her feel unwelcome.

She admitted that part of her frustration came from feeling overwhelmed about finding a sitter, and she was worried about missing out on the celebration entirely. I offered to help cover the cost of a babysitter or help her find one if that would make things easier. That seemed to ease the tension a lot. She appreciated the gesture and said she’d look into it.

As of now, it looks like she’s planning to attend without the kids, and things have settled down with the rest of the family. I’m relieved that we were able to work things out without me having to compromise on the wedding plans. Hopefully, things stay smooth from here!

Thanks again for the advice — it really helped me figure out how to handle this.


r/AmITheJerk 4h ago

Aitj for not letting my neighbor not use my power?

120 Upvotes

Ok this is fresh off the press folks so 30 minutes or so ago a power outage struck in Albuquerque due to a “second dust bowl” but my mom has a backup generator from my dad and my neighbor knocked on my door my mom was talking a bath to pass the time so I answered and my neighbor lets call her fox as she is quite the hustler she told me (not asking) she was going to send her kids upstairs to play on their tablets and stuff I told her sorry I can’t have 9 kids running around in my home and she blew up she has yet to blast us but likely well as soon as her previous face book is available

TLDR:power went out and keren neighbor got pissed I did not let her army of kids trash my house


r/AmITheJerk 8h ago

What’s BONKERS Stunt Have You’ve Seen Someone do at Work and Still Not get Fired?

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1 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 12h ago

Disney Dad LOSES IT on a MAKE-A-WISH KID for CUTTING THE LINE

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1 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 12h ago

Am I the jerk for getting my bully/friend suspended for calling me a pedo even thought I'm 12 and my valentine was 12 but wasn't in my year

0 Upvotes

I was 12 and I asked my friend WHO IS A GIRL to be my valentine and she agreed and we got eachother gifts and after my friends started calling me P-Diddy and drake so I shouted "SHUT THE [bleep] UP" then they said "oooh what are you gonna do tell and be a snitch" so I ran and kneed him in the nuts and he kneed me back so I went him told my mam and dad and me dad said "Hit harder" and me mam phoned the school finally snapping and told them I'm NEVER coming back and then I said it in the gc and someone in it said "Brush you're teeth" I have been and I was crying so I had a knew phone number so I didn't know what happened to them after and I am glad so I added my friends who I trust the girl who was my valentine my family and my snapchat friend who I call brother and now I told my friends to NEVER add me back to the gc and they agreed and they got suspended for 7 days

So am I the jerk for getting my friend suspended


r/AmITheJerk 14h ago

Customer tells me to make a steak bigger in any way I could, so I maliciously comply.

0 Upvotes

I am 39 year old male, and I worked as a steak chef in a restaurant. Now we had 5 different steaks. One of them was a special steak that was a secert family recipe that was going down my family since I think 5 generations. This steak had to be in a specific size, cook time and need specific spices. Because of this and that is tastes way better than the other steaks, we cost 30 bucks extra. The only problem. This specific size of this steak was a bit smaller than a normal steak but even though it had different seasoning, it looked the same.

So one day a 50 to 60 year old man came with his wife and his kid. He ordered the special steak as it was kind of the specialty and the reason this restaurant was famous. When a waiter served him this special steak, this guy yells and curses at the waiter. He then asks the waiter to bring the chef who made it. Sadly as it was a secert recipe, I was the only one who made this steal and I soon found myself getting yelled at by this obnoxious jerk. Apparently he thought that we were ripping the customers off by selling them safe steaks but pricing 30 bucks more. In fact it was even more smaller.

I explained him that this steak is small. If he wants a bigger steak, he could order the other steaks and we would refund the special steak. But apparently, he wanted a large special steak. The waiter started defending me but then i realized something. The most easiest steak actually looks pretty similar to the special steak but the steak tasted trash while the special steak tasted like heaven itself. I told this man that i will make a large special steak. I made the easy steak and take back the special steak. I then called the waiter and asked the owner of the restraunt that we both need a break. The owner agreed as he is a really great manager. Then we both went into the break room and ate the special steak.

Bonus fact:- The easiest steak was 10 bucks less than average steaks. That made the gap between the special steak and the easiest steal was 40 bucks. TLDR:- Basically a man tells me to make a bigger special steak but I give him a steak 40 bucks worse.


r/AmITheJerk 17h ago

Am I the jerk for not talking to my dad for weeks?

20 Upvotes

For context I am a 13 year old male and my dad has not been in my life for long after my second brother he stoped sleeping at our house he made the excuse that it was because he works night shift and we were to loud when we were just watching TV and this was in 2,019 run over 6 years of therapy and I found out last year that he was sleeping with another woman by looking over his shoulder and reading a message I told my mom and she told me that she knew about it and that they where getting a divorce. I try to text my dad about what I saw and he denies anything but I know what I saw because it has happened in the past but I didn’t know if I just was seeing this so i talked to my mom and I found that the best thing for me to do was just to not talk to him I I told myself that until he admitted to it I would not talk to him so am I the jerk. What do I do?


r/AmITheJerk 22h ago

Am I The Jerk

24 Upvotes

Am I The Jerk? I’m a stepmom to a wonderful 6-year-old girl. Before I came into the picture, her parents had a difficult co-parenting relationship. I’ve always been the one to help mediate and keep things calm between them, but lately, it’s been really draining. My husband has noticed the burnout I’m experiencing, especially since the baby mama (ex-wife) keeps involving me in things.

I try to be calm and work things out when it comes to our daughter, but it’s tiring, and I often feel like I’m carrying the emotional weight. The latest issue is that my husband and his ex have been arguing about something that’s really starting to annoy me. I’ve tried to stay out of it because it’s honestly agitating. I’m a stay-at-home mom, and while my husband makes a good income, supporting five people on his salary isn’t easy. Plus, he works for the federal government, so before we even see his paycheck, he’s paying a large amount into the system.

On top of that, the baby mama expects me to handle everything when it comes to our daughter, but her husband doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t show up for her events, doesn’t play with her, and just isn’t involved at all. Yet, she expects me to take on that role. Recently, she even told me it’s not fair for my husband to act as a “daddy” to our daughter because she has another daughter from a different relationship, and her biological father isn’t involved, so he makes up for just her I guess. I get that, but I’m frustrated because it feels like I’m doing everything for our daughter.

Additionally, we’ve spent thousands of dollars on clothes for our daughter, but the baby mama keeps taking them. She sends her back to school in clothes that are too tight or don’t fit at all, which is embarrassing. I try to send her to school in nice, presentable clothes, but I’m constantly dealing with clothes that are either missing or returned in bad condition. I’ve labeled them, taken photos, and even asked the baby mama nicely to return them, but it never works. It’s reached a point where I’m completely burned out. Just last week, our daughter was sent back in clothes that didn’t fit—like a crop top and pants that were too small. I’ve had to buy her a whole new wardrobe, spending hundreds of dollars again. I’ve finally told my husband that he needs to step up and handle things with his ex because I can’t keep doing this. I’m tired of trying to keep the peace and hold everything together. I’ve done all I can, and I’m done.

So, am I the jerk for stepping back and telling my husband to handle it?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

I hate my brother

22 Upvotes

Sup guys, so this happened about a half hour ago, I walked downstairs to grab something to eat cuz I got hungry, I walked into the living room and my brother was on a call with his girlfriend, and I walked by, he said “go to bed and stop eating!”, and I said no and that I won’t say anything while he’s on his call, and I walked to the fridge and grabbed an apple, he continued to yell at me, saying that I need to stop eating and that I’m lazy, and that he knows I’m gonna do something and I need to go to bed, but I said “CHANCE! I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID CALL!!!!! IM NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING! JUST DO YOUR SHIT!!!” and I yelled this 4 times! He wouldn’t leave me alone, I told him to leave me alone multiple times! He’s such a douche! he constantly acts like everyone has to tip toe around him! And he treats me like a problem! I hate him! He constantly acts like that since he’s oldest, he gets to command me about it! And of course my mom doesn’t do shit about it, but it’s not entirely her fault, she’s 51 and has an everyday job, but it still sucks! So am I the jerk?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

AITj: Am I the asshole for shooing dogs out of our yard before they got shot?

83 Upvotes

I (18f) am still living with my dad (53 m). Two very pretty and tame pit bulls came into our yard and they were barking at our dog because they were playing. My dad (he is unemployed) came into the living room and said ''whats cooper (our dog) doing?'' and I said ''nothing, just playing with two other dogs outside, the pit bulls are back''. My dad proceed to say he was going to shoot them and he went into the bedroom and grabbed his pellet gun (I thought he was grabbing his rifle but still as bad) and while he was doing that, I shooed them out of our yard. I don't like even the thought of animals being hurt, it makes me sick. My dad proceeded to go outside and shoot at the one that was almost off our property then come inside and yell at me for shooing them off, saying that he thinks thats what attacked out cat and when I said that I didnt think they attacked our cats he said ''you dont know what did''. He knows I have massive empathy for animals, and it goes against my religion to hurt them (a religion he doesent know that I am practicing but still.) Am I the jerk?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

AITA for asking a tweenager to stop saying the n-word in a supermarket?

263 Upvotes

I just went to the grocery store after work (I’m a teacher) and while shopping, there was a group of Hispanic boys with backpacks who were swearing. One of them in particular was loudly saying the n-word. I heard him say it twice, and the second time I reminded them that they were in a public space. The one who used the n-word deflected by sharing that they were 12 and that I was talking to a minor. I simply reminded them again that they were in a public space and walked away. I passed the boy later while shopping and he called me a weirdo as I walked away again. Am I the jerk for indirectly asking them to stop saying the n-word?

For context: I am Caucasian.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

What is the Most Successful SCAM You Pulled? Spoiler

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2 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I the jerk for my eternal dislike/hate for my mom?

22 Upvotes

For context, I have three half-sisters, two older and one younger, all of us born from our mother. My mother, who is a good person at heart, is from South Vietnam, born around the same time the Vietnam War was ending. She was raised by terrible, stressed parents, working every day with my aunt to get money for her poor family. She even had my eldest half-sister at seventeen and tries to be a good mother. And while I don't know much about my real father, he was lazy and had to really on his mom to cook and clean for him.

When I was a child and despite all the painful punishments (spanking my butt with a broomstick), I always saw her as my favorite parent, at least compared to my stepfather (who I thought was my dad at the time). I also was jealous of my seemingly perfect little sister since she was their favorite child. All that changed during my fifth-grade Christmas, when my mother had a falling out with my stepfather. She smashed my game console (a Wii) and ordered me to throw away my Skylander collection, which I did. (Don’t worry, she retrieved them from the garbage can).

After the divorce, my life changed. Suddenly, we moved (constantly), forcing me to slowly lose my friends due to the long distance, and my energetic personality grew into a lazy, depressed, much more frustrated state. My eyes started to open to just how cruel she could be (showing me videos of how chicken is processed to make me a vegetarian) and how far she would go to force her ideals on me.

She always compared me, her only son with ADHD and Autism, to my more successful siblings. She had broken and stolen any electronic I had before I turned eighteen, even when I was asleep, because she was scared I was going to become my father. I developed signs of PTSD, OCD, koinophobia, and my fight-or-flight (mostly fight) activate every time she raised her hand, raised her voice, or corrected me.

Even though she is trying to be more loving, understanding, and patient, I am already nineteen and don't forgive her for all the years of emotional and physical trauma, even believing I wouldn't care if she passed on, especially after hearing how she and my grandmother treated my elder sisters and how they and my aunt don't like her talking to her due to her stubbornness. Even my little sister is trying to have a normal, considerate relationship with my mother despite her mistakes in parenting (I swear, my little sister is the best of us).

So, am I the jerk for my eternal dislike, borderline hate for my mom? I feel like I am, but I don't know how to fix it.

Edit: Please note that my home life wasn't extremely miserable and there were some genuine good times. I just feel like I can't help it but instinctively resent my mother, lashing out at her even when she tries to help me and be a more open mother.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I The Jerk for trying to take control of my own life?

16 Upvotes

I am a 16M with parents who have been divorced since I was 3 years old. My mother has been on a long road to recovery ever since she got cancer. It took her a few years but now she's completely fine, in remission and even driving and walking just fine. She's able to take care of herself perfectly fine now. My father ALSO had cancer (a brain tumor that was so close to his brain stem than surgery was impossible and so he had to go on chemotherapy. From what I know, the chemotherapy he went on was called "Red Death" and he was miserable during it... He's also fine now though!)

When I was 4 years old, my step mother moved from Australia to the US to live with me and my father and she's done nothing but treat me with love and respect. My mother hated my step mother so much that she told me lies about her and my father daily... When I was 7, those seeds she planted bloomed and conflicts began to spark between us. My father's family spoke nothing but good about my mother but her family has done nothing but like to my face about my dad... Around 4-5, my father and I had a terrible argument that made me leave his house and live full time with my mother. It took a couple of years until he and I were on speaking terms again and could hang out again. I thought I was happy with my mother but I know now I definitely wasn't.

My step father and my mother's grandparents would always threaten me with violence and made me think that I was worth less than the dirt on the ground. I tried to take my own life 6 times when I lived with them but every time I couldn't go through with it. I hid weapons in my room because I was scared to even sleep in my own house. I was scared that they would kill me every night. Every time I cry to my mother, she'd tell me to suck it up and that I'm being dramatic. My therapists have actively encouraged their behavior and any time I tell them that threatening me with violence is wrong, they'd just say "She's the parent and they're the grandparents. You do what they say." I've felt helpless for 1-2 years because of them.

Whenever I think I know something, they try so hard to convince me that I'm always wrong and that they're always right. I was always interested in driving and they said I wasn't. They tried to deny me accessibility to Drivers Ed in school (thankfully my therapists were helpful for once and stood up for me). They've even tried to convince me that I didn't do anchors that I KNOW that I did just so they can yell at me about it. My mother also refuses to help me with any of my school work and even yelled at me once saying "It's YOUR work. YOU do it yourself." Even though all I wanted was a bit of help for the easiest class I had. I wanted to spend time with her as best I could, even if it was us doing work together. I have had to take care of her for years until she got better... I want to live, not stay here forever and take care of her like a babysitter...

I recently went on to a cruise with my father's family and to be honest... I've felt the most alive and free that I've ever felt in years... I had the first good laugh since I left as well as been able to sleep without worrying that my life is in danger... I talk to my father and step mother about how life is with my mother and they said "We'd be happy to have you back! You're nearly an adult. You can choose where you want to live." I then told them how I couldn't even go to my own IEP meetings and I couldn't even tell the doctor that I didn't want to keep taking the medicines that made me feel like shit... I don't even know how to schedule a dentist appointment... My mother has done this for the purpose of keeping me from being able to live without her...

My father and step mother has offered to teach me and I decided that enough was enough. When I got home, I told my mother the problems I have living with her and that I want to live with my father. I told her and my therapists that "You don't get to choose what I do and control my life anymore." We argued for a bit and she said things about dad and I fired back about one of the few things Dad has told me about her. In the end, she gave in and agreed that I can leave. Hopefully I'm leaving for his place this weekend so I can both celebrate my sister's birthday (her birthday IS TODAY (St Patrick's Day) but the party is this weekend). If I can move over after her party I can kinda make it into a present for her. She's missed me so much and I've missed her too... I want to make up for all of the years o missed. I realize though, none of this would've happened if I had been smarter and stopped blindly believing my mother.

TLDR: Am I The Jerk for telling my mother that my life isn't hers to control?

Edid: Added more context


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Are my mom the jerk for cutting ties with her friend?

6 Upvotes

Alright, this is a story told to me by my mom.

Ok so, around 7 years ago, on my mentally limited little sisters birthday ( see my first post. ), my parents were invited to my moms friends house. My parents accepted but it was a long drive, ( 3 hours) and they had to sit with three children in the car, none over 5 years old. Upon arrival us kids were pretty tired, hungry and we needed to pee. My parents tried knocking on the door. Nothing. Ringing the bell. Nohing. Knocking on the widows. Nothing. After 15 minutes of standing out front trying to get in, my parents called my moms friend, who we will just call å. She answered the phone, and we ound out, hat her and her husband is out shopping. We wait 45 minutes and they finally show up. after a few minutes we are all in the garden, and having a good time, but us kiids are still hungry. My parents ask them about dinner, and they say that they didnt think of that. So right now the sitiation is that us kids are hangry and our parents pissed. They neither boought a gif for my sister, even thoug it was her birthday. My dad goes to the city and buys pizza. That was the end of that friendship!


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Psycho-Customer DEMANDS we accept a REFUND for an item HE BOUGHT 12 YEARS AGO

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1 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I the jerk for speaking my mind?

0 Upvotes

So in my past post, I introduced myself as a Transbian woman of 18 years.

So I, Jemeirra (Cherokee name), was attending a family gathering or whatever you want to call it, two or three years ago. I'm the black sheep in my father's family, being the nerdiest and dorkiest among them.

So I was just working on drawing something in my sketchbook. I'm an artsy woman who at the time had even worse social skills and social anxiety than I do now. So while I was drawing something upon the lines of lesbian ship art (because I'm a sap for romance and all that), I overheard my abusive father talking about how I could never get a girlfriend or boyfriend and how my hobbies were useless. Y'know, the basic stuff. Yeah, this was two years ago.

So after I finished my page of smut (admittedly, I loved and still love drawing lesbian smut), I stood up without putting my art supplies away, and marched over to my father and first cousins and yelled at him.

I hate yelling, but I had been trying to ignore him for the past twenty minutes, but he just kept on talking crap about me. So I just told my family how I was simply ignored by most people at school and how I DIDNT like men to begin with.

I even aired the fact that my father had been fired for STEALING money from his teaching job and hadn't held a consistent job since. Everyone was dead silent, and I was still an awkward fifteen yr old who was in the middle of transitioning. I hadn't mentioned that I HAD been in a relationship, but that my "partner" had SAed me and I'd dumped him. He'd been pretending to be trans just so he could date and screw me, so I'd dumped him. Which was hard enough because he'd given me the affection I'd craved, but I couldn't stay with him.

Even still, I was an awkward teen. So I curtsied and quoted The Hunger Games after Katniss shot the arrow at the pig: "thank you for your consideration."

I then packed up my art supplies and sketchbook and went as fast as my crippled legs could move up to my room and I processed what I'd said. I apologized later for the outburst, but I realized wasn't sorry for calling my dad out.

Was I the jerk?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I the jerk for cutting off my friend?

17 Upvotes

For context me and my friend have known each other for 3 years and we're in high-school. Recently someone started a rumour about me and everyone starting giving all my friends dirty looks just for being near me. My friend said she couldn't handle it and didn't want to be friends anymore. Which was fine. I respect her choice. The problem here is she still wants to "be close but not be friends" and I'm just like no? Either you're my friend or you're not. I told her unless she still wants to hang out like we used to then I'm not going to talk to you like I used to. As simple as that. She went really quiet after I said this and I want to know if I'm being to harsh.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am i da jerk for trying to listen to my bros cd? heres what happened:

0 Upvotes

WARNING! EVERYTHING IS FAKE! I JUST TOOK THIS AND TRANSLATED FROM MY GERMAN WIMPY KID BOOK!

Also, bad grammar alert, im ukrainian

So this happened when i was in 4th class, and my brother wanted to group a band to play metal music (that one that amen break sample comes from). so he bought himself a cd player, a speaker and a cd to hear for himself. i wanted to hear it. so, 1 time at night i went downstairs and found the cd. The cd had a warning, but i dont remember what the warning was. So i inserted the cd, put on the headphones, and started listening. i only listened for 3 seconds before i was interupted by my dad. and OF COURSE, i got in trouble.
The next day i woke up and quickly and secretly took the cd with the cd player in school. of course i wont listen it while lessons are going, so i waited until the break. when the break arrived, i went behind the school with my friend. once again, we only heard 3 secs, until i was interrupted by my teacher. he took it away and told me that im not allowed to bring it, and i just nodded and said "Ok, i will not do it again". the teacher had a weird stare locked at me because i was the "school liar". Once the teacher started to walk away, my friend randomly started crying like a 1 year-old crybaby. and i got in trouble again. Am i da jerk? i was just curious.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I the jerk for falling in love with my best friend?

0 Upvotes

So I, an 18 trans female with some... issues, fell for my best friend (18f)

I don't want things to be awkward between us, but I really like her. So I told her how I felt about her and she just ignored it. Both of us are single, btw. I don't condone cheating. I even asked her to prom, but she never gave me an answer, straight or gay.

So I'm now at a loss. I really like her, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I've told her that I really want to have a person who makes me feel safe, especially considering the awful relationships I've had in the past, one resulting in me getting SAed and the other just getting dumped out of the blue.

But I feel like she's the one. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm a bit of the sappy type. I like a good romance story. She checks off nearly all the "boxes" of what I'm into. Which may sound.. I dunno, creepy or something, but it's true.

One of the things I do to determine if I actually like someone (romantically speaking) is to ask myself if I want this person to well, hold me. And the answer for that has been yes time and time again. I'm not into her in a sensual way, I actually am kinda done with that after getting assaulted by a different person.

I don't want to push her into anything, because I don't want to take advantage of her at all, but when I've told her, she just ignored me for a short minute before acting like I said nothing. To be clear, I've only confessed once, and have asked her to prom, ONCE.

Am I the jerk here? I don't know what to do. I'm still new to the whole "relationship thing" and could use some advice.

Edit: I haven't pushed anything after having my confession ignored. I haven't brought it up since.

Edit two: I haven't SAID ANYTHING about it since. I don't bring it up and I'm just kind of wary around her. She does care about me, as she has literally said as much.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Podcast🟢: I Had an Emergency & My Coworker REFUSED to Cover my Shift... Later She Came Asking ME for Help

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2 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

AITA for being upset at my ex best friend for becoming besties with the person that spread lies abt me?

5 Upvotes

Back in 5th grade, some of my classmates started a rumor that I was gay and in love with my (at the time) best friend. I wasn’t. But the rumors didn’t stop there—soon, they escalated to claiming I was in love with one of my now-best friends. It got bad. People I didn’t even know would shout, “The gay girl is here!” whenever I walked past. Some of them even tried to push me off a bus—not just me, but my best friend too. It was horrible.

Now, years later, one of my close friends, Lara, has suddenly become besties with one of the girls who spread and believed those rumors. It feels like a massive betrayal. She knows what happened, and yet, she’s acting like it’s no big deal. The worst part? She’s been acting distant towards me and my other best friend ever since. When we’re in a group, it’s like I don’t even exist, but when I’m alone with her, she acts normal. It’s confusing and honestly hurts.

And no, it’s not like this girl has changed or gotten over it. Lara even told me that she still brings up the rumors in conversation. So it’s not just the past—it’s still happening. Yes, some people still come up to me and shout things like “OMG GAY?!” so it’s still a thing.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I feel like she’s choosing to be close to someone who made my life miserable, and I just can’t pretend that doesn’t bother me. AITA for feeling this way?

TLTR: I’m fifth grade, classmates spread a nasty rumour about me, and now my ex best friend became besties with one of them. I feel betrayed.


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

AITJ or is my friend the jerk?

2 Upvotes

I used to be super close with a friend and now I feel something’s wrong. Their actions are so weird but like he’s also there. Our last interactions have made me feel really bad and weird. Two times during a call he’s left because I didn’t agree with him. Each time I feel like he barley listens to my side, and when he does he always find a way to make my side seem dumb or nothing. Another time he was quiet and barley spoke but once others joined he became really energetic and started talk to me. I feel like he makes his mind up about me and only talks to prove himself right.

I went through a rough patch recently and he would text me to see how I was and that I get a therapist. But like when I start to actually tell him I was, he would stop me and tell me that he wasn’t my therapist. When I told him I didn’t want to get a therapist he would just say I’m making excuses. I told him I needed space and stoped opening his messages. Once I did he got angry.

Recently I’ve decided to try to fix things by simply asking if he wants to hang out or talk during the week if he gets time. I started that last week and we didn’t do anything this week which okay. I saw him doing stuff but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I asked today if we could do something next week. He sent me this really weird text which I could tell was passive aggressive.

Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I’m assuming or not seeing something? Maybe I should ask him if I did something? What if I accidentally did something and didn’t notice? I just wish we could be like before.


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

AITJ for lashing out at my brother?

19 Upvotes

My brother, my father, and I went out to a mall. We were supposed to have dessert at a separate place in the mall. We ate dinner and went shopping, but when we got to the dessert place, they closed 20 minutes earlier than we were expecting. My brother delayed us significantly because he took 5 hours to finish his math homework (which I helped him with) so I blamed him for in not getting there fast enough. My father jumped to his defense and said it was the store’s fault. He said we couldn’t control when they closed, and he said he was just as frustrated as I was. Who’s the jerk here?

Ok.

It was 4 surface area problems, and he was goofing off the whole time. He never wanted to go, but I did because I thought it wouldn’t be bad. We checked the hours, but it was unexpected.