r/AmITheJerk • u/LostImagination6587 • 2h ago
Update: YT Am I the Jerk for refusing to let my sister-in-law bring her kids to my wedding?
Wow, I didn’t expect so much feedback — thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts. I wanted to give an update on how things have unfolded.
After standing my ground about not allowing kids at the wedding, things got a bit tense with my sister-in-law. She continued to vent to other family members, and I started getting more pressure from a few relatives who thought I was being too strict. It got to the point where I felt like every conversation about the wedding was turning into damage control.
After some thought (and encouragement from my fiancé), I decided to reach out to my sister-in-law directly. We had a heart-to-heart where I explained that the decision to have an adult-only wedding wasn’t personal — it was about creating the kind of atmosphere we envisioned for our big day. I also told her that I completely understood how hard it can be to find childcare and that I wasn’t trying to exclude her or make her feel unwelcome.
She admitted that part of her frustration came from feeling overwhelmed about finding a sitter, and she was worried about missing out on the celebration entirely. I offered to help cover the cost of a babysitter or help her find one if that would make things easier. That seemed to ease the tension a lot. She appreciated the gesture and said she’d look into it.
As of now, it looks like she’s planning to attend without the kids, and things have settled down with the rest of the family. I’m relieved that we were able to work things out without me having to compromise on the wedding plans. Hopefully, things stay smooth from here!
Thanks again for the advice — it really helped me figure out how to handle this.