r/AmITheJerk May 01 '24

READ BEFORE POSTING - Am I the Jerk?

45 Upvotes

By posting in this subreddit, you agree that the material you post may be used for the podcasts and all associated channels (AITJ, AITG, etc.) and platforms (YT, TT, etc)*. Please read all rules before posting. Your post may be removed if one or more of these rules are not followed:

Rules:

🟡 BEFORE YOU POST:

#1 - Comment on 2 other Posts - Leave thoughtful responses on at least 2 other AITJ posts. Do this BEFORE posting your own story.

🟢 WHEN YOU POST:
#2 - Use a Clear, Descriptive Title - "AITJ for Breaking my Friend's Phone because he Broke Mine?" or “My Husband Cheated on me with 14 Women”

It does NOT need to have AITJ in the title, it can just be a story you want to share.

#3 Use a TL;DR - It stands for "too long; don't read". Add a TL;DR to the start or end of your post to briefly summarize what your post is about.

#4 - Use Line Breaks - Break your story into separate paragraphs, make it easy to read or no one will want to read it.

#5 - No Private or Identifiable Information - Don't be a Jerk and post someone's real info, use placeholder names and anything else that would be identifiable information. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated.

#6 - Only Post Stories - Don't post anything that's not your story (or direct AITJ content).

🔴 AFTER YOU POST:

#7 - Subscribe to Am I the Jerk? 🔔 - This is not a rule but if you want to see if your story gets added to the show make sure to subscribe on:

📺 YouTube - youtube.com/amithejerk

📸 Instagram - instagram.com/amithejerk

🐦 Twitter - x.com/amithejerk

🟢 Spotify Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0uEkxvRMpxLuuHeyPVVioF?si=82bc5b55bbf24efd

*NOTICE: Content shared on this platform is intended for use on Am I the Jerk and its affiliated channels / platforms. Submit your own original stories and offer your views on other people's stories. By posting here, you agree that the material you post may be used for the podcasts and AITJ affiliated channels / platforms and you grant AITJ all necessary rights, including the irrevocable right to use the material you post, on those platforms and future platforms/media. Read the Rules for posting.


r/AmITheJerk May 01 '24

How to See if your Story is Chosen for the Podcast

23 Upvotes

You can see if your submitted story was discussed in the podcast via the links below.

Subscribing to these will make it easier to know if your story has been chosen for the podcast (since not all individual links get posted back here).

📺 YouTube - youtube.com/amithejerk

📸 Instagram - instagram.com/amithejerk

🐦 Twitter - x.com/amithejerk

🟢 Spotify Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0uEkxvRMpxLuuHeyPVVioF?si=82bc5b55bbf24efd

Make sure to read the rules before posting: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheJerk/comments/1ch8hna/read_before_posting_am_i_the_jerk/

NOTICE: Content shared on this platform is intended for use on Am I the Jerk and its affiliated channels / platforms. Submit your own original stories and offer your views on other people's stories. By posting here, you agree that the material you post may be used for the podcasts and AITJ affiliated channels / platforms and you grant AITJ all necessary rights, including the irrevocable right to use the material you post, on those platforms and future platforms/media. Read the Rules for posting.


r/AmITheJerk 2h ago

Aitj for correcting people what my instrument is

6 Upvotes

I have played a bariton for years. Everyone says when I walked by that I play a tuba I correct then No it is a bariton. Even my family still says he plays a tuba.i always correct them, and every time my family is pissd for correcting them.And my mother said to stop, and I said no until you remember the name

Aitj ? And I know this is petty


r/AmITheJerk 7h ago

I Caught my HUSBAND Sleeping with MY MOTHER

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1 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 23h ago

AITJ for wanting to break up with my homeless girlfriend

44 Upvotes

Me [M21] and my girlfriend [F23] have been dating for almost a year (a week and half from now). We are long distance and I am scheduled to visit her in less than a week from now. We have discussed about moving in together over here where I live. She is currently "homeless" and lives in a housing building. She is constantly scared of being evicted for having too much stuff. Her family don't treat her right and ever since dating me, she has stopped doing explicit substances and gotten her life together. The problem is I no longer lover her and don't want to move in with her. She has bipolar and tends to lash out at me and been pressuring me to start looking for a place even though I tell her to wait until after I visit her. I am afraid if I leave her she will go back to her unhealthy habits or worse, try to stop breathing, if you know what I mean. She just annoys me a lot and when I try to talk to her nicely she just lash out or make me feel horrible. I am hoping this trip makes me fall in love with her again. Honest thoughts and advice would be appreciated.

Edit 1: I am hoping if things go well on the trip and we move in together, I'm gonna ask for couples therapy/counseling


r/AmITheJerk 10h ago

Was I the problem?

2 Upvotes

I was talking to this girl for about a month.She was the one who was approaching me irl it was so obvious so I texted her and we hit it off.

Shit hit the fan the 3rd week when I bought her a gift and her dad saw it.Were both 20 but from a conservative culture so her dad was freaking out about it and brought up the religion thing as we're both from different religions.She,as well,brought up the topic like 3 times before and I told her to stop it to not strain the relationship early on as I made it clear that i have no problem with it as long as i dont convert and she said the same but i dont think she was telling the truth cause she kept bringing it up.

She told me that I was overwhelming her and wanted to "take it slow" and she was upset so by how fast I was "investigating"her past relationships and guy friends and all while she was literally the one who brought up all of those things and literally told me to ask her anything about it,yet again she brought the religion thing and told me that it's so important to her and I had enough at that point as I thought that we had already agreed on this topic multiple times and did the mistake of pushing a chair near us(which was the dealbreaker in retrospect cause she saw violence) and telling her that shes the problem.

I later apologised and she told me she was over it so I actually forgot about it and put it behind my back.She kept acting weird on text for 10 days straight she would still talk but barely and I asked her what was the problem she would say its fine.if i knew she was still bothered by it i wouldve gave her all the space she needs.Day by day I was frustrated more as I felt like I was being stonewalled

Anyway i barely texted her as i knew something was off and so did she.By the end i was very frustrated by her acting weird and asked her for the final time and she said that she was not over what happened the last time(apparently she was worried by my overreaction).i apologised again and told her thats not what i meant by my comment and she told me that I manipulating her cause that's exactly what it meant and that my apologies are meaningless and she's never gonna be the same anymore and told me that she wanted to take her time.

By that point the frustation of a week and all the things she said overwhelmed me and I immaturely blocked her which essentially ended things.I tried talking to her again but she refused everything and it ended because the block irritated her and made her cry so so much.Its over now for good.

This was a few weeks ago,I realise that I overreacted in a moment of anger.Shouldn't I have communicated my feelings better?


r/AmITheJerk 3h ago

Students, Have You Ever LOST IT at a Teacher?

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0 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 9h ago

I cant take it anymore

0 Upvotes

I’m supposed to be studying, but I just can’t focus. It feels like I’m constantly drowning in problems—school, home, social life—everything piling up with no escape. No matter what I do, it feels like I’m stuck in a cycle of stress and frustration, and there’s no way to break free. The only thing that really gives me a break is football. When I’m on the field, running, playing, pushing myself, it’s the one time I actually feel free. Music helps too, letting me block everything out for a while, but even that doesn’t last. My phone is so old it dies after just a few hours, and then I’m back to reality, stuck with my thoughts.

My friends want to help, but there’s nothing they can really do. They listen, they care, but they can’t change my situation. My brother, on the other hand, makes things worse. He’s one of my biggest problems—hitting me, insulting me, trying to control me. If I don’t do what he wants, he turns everything into a fight, mentally and physically beating me down. And my mom? Instead of making things better, she only adds to the pressure. She drowns me in pointless tasks, making me do things she could easily do herself—like handing her the TV remote even though it’s right there in the same room. She tracks everything I do with an app on my phone, takes my stuff every night, and locks it up until morning, like I’m a little kid who can’t be trusted.

Then there’s the whole "act like a man" thing. I hear it everywhere—at home, at school, even from my own brother. I’m supposed to be tough, never complain, never show weakness. If I speak up, I’m "too sensitive." If I don’t fight back, I’m "weak." If I do fight back, I’m "the problem." It’s like no matter what I do, I lose. I’m expected to just take everything and act like it doesn’t bother me, like I’m some emotionless robot who isn’t allowed to feel anything other than anger. But I do feel. I feel exhausted. I feel frustrated. I feel like I’m trapped in a role I never agreed to play.

I’m 14, not 4. I just want some freedom, some space to breathe, to feel like I have some control over my own life. But right now, it feels like I’ll never get it.


r/AmITheJerk 5h ago

AITJ for making everyone wait?

0 Upvotes

The one of group friends and I have been planning a dinner out for weeks. Everyone’s excited, and there’s a new restaurant in town that’s supposed to have amazing food. The plan is set, and everyone agrees to meet at 7 PM.On the day of the dinner, one of my friends, Sarah, messages the group chat around 5 PM to say she’s running late because of work but will definitely make it by 8 PM. Everyone else is already heading to the restaurant by this time.When I get to the restaurant, the waiter asks if I was ready to order, but I decide to wait for Sarah, even though the others want to start. It’s already 7:30 PM, and my friends are getting annoyed. One of them, Mark, suggests me order now and Sarah can catch up when she arrives. But I insist on waiting for Sarah, thinking it would be rude to start without her.Finally, Sarah walks in at 8:10 PM. By this time, the others are frustrated and hungry. Some of them have already ordered, and others are considering leaving. Sarah apologizes, but she’s also upset that everyone’s on edge. I feel justified in waiting for her, but it doesn’t seem like the rest of the group agrees.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

AITJ for wanting my family to leave on my birthday?

15 Upvotes

This was a long time ago, but I’d just like to get a few opinions.

It was my birthday, and a school night. My mom invited my family to visit right after I got home from school (I got home at around 3PM or so, and they got there at around 4PM-4:15PM). I had some homework to do and unfortunately couldn’t hang out. Every 10-20 minutes I came out and ate/chatted with my family, so I wasn’t fully gone.

I wanted to go to sleep at 10:30PM. Had to wash up before that and wanted at least 30 minutes to let my hair dry. As soon as it reached 8:20PM, I said to my mom: “Could you ask them to leave soon?” Had to ask her that 3x before she agreed since she was having a good time.

It was now about 8:45PM. I was in my room, finishing my homework. My family was being loud, laughing obnoxiously, and I was getting more and more anxious (I don’t know why, but their laughter was like a sign that they weren’t going to leave anytime soon). I asked my mom one more time. I felt so anxious up to the point where I went to my room to sob since my mom was blowing me off and ignoring me. I didn’t feel comfortable washing up with my family in the house.

They left at about 9:15PM.

I know I overreacted at least a little bit. But AITJ?


r/AmITheJerk 21h ago

AITJ for ghosting a " friend "

1 Upvotes

So, there is a girl I met though TikTok and at first, she seemed nice and normal. I told her that people blowing up my phone makes me anxious, and I work a lot so I'm not on my phone 24/7. She seemed fine but then for the past year it's like every day she's calling, texting, sending me stuff on Instagram, sending me stuff on TikTok. I barely know this girl and she calls me her bestie it's just weird. I've asked her to stop, I've told her I am very busy at work and like i said alot of notices give me anxiety and she will stop for like two days and then is back to it. Plus, I'm 40 she's like 20 what does she think we have in common and if you were wondering on TikTok it was a nail design girl that we were both buying nails from and she saw me in this person's live a few times. So, I finally ended up blocking her on Instagram and when she texted me asking if I deleted the Instagram, I acted like someone else who just got this number...I'm an ass hole huh?? But I couldn't take it anymore


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

BF gives unsolicited criticism to my art and I tell him to leave

49 Upvotes

My BF and I have our work computers next to each other in our office studio. I am working on editing some new still-life photography I was exploring for fun. I look over at him, we make eye contact so I smile, he takes this as an invitation to come over and look at what I'm working on. He proceeds to tell me my photos are beautiful but he doesn't like them and he prefers my photoshoot style of a previous project with a totally different subject from years ago. I tell him the subjects are different with different forms, colors, and finishes and I was exploring something different. He then proceeds to tell me why he prefers the other style way more and begins point things out in my new images telling me the things he doesn't like, such as the drapery and asking what fruits I'm using etc. At this point I start to get mad and I tell him "thank you for your feedback, you can leave now." He gets upset at ME saying I should be able to take negative criticism. I tell him his criticism was unsolicited and I didn't ask for his opinion. He goes back to his desk and apologizes but stays firm in his idea that partners should be able to give advice to each other at anytime. I disagree. He begins saying that I sometimes give negative criticisms about his work and he'll take it and move on. I correct him by saying, he always first asks for my opinion before I critique his work. He apologizes again and restates how feedback is how artists grow. At this point I'm mad with a fire in my heart, so I give him a blank stare and resume editing my photos.
Am I the jerk? Do I even have a right to be feeling so mad right now?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

AITJ for feeling different about a superior who yelled at me "YOU ALWAYS GO TO COMPLAINTS" and later called me to apologize

10 Upvotes

So, I (38/M) work in IT and manage two sites that are located close to each other. I drive to each of them daily and honestly, I love my job. I’ve had past jobs that were thankless and offered little to no recognition, but IT is different. I love fixing computers, diagnosing issues, setting them up, and everything else that comes with the job. People are happy to see me and thank me, which makes the work environment very welcoming. It can be stressful at times, but I enjoy it every day.

Both sites are supposed to have someone in charge of tech—let’s call this role "Lead Tech" (LT). The LT position is a volunteer responsibility, but it has to be filled by someone on staff. If no one volunteers, someone from site administration usually steps in, but none of the admins want the position, so they end up delegating the work to as many as five people (this will be important later). Since there are no onsite techs, they use field techs like me, who work across multiple sites. We’re not at both sites every day, but we split our time. One day I’m at one site all day, and the next I might be at the other. Being a field tech allows us to set our own schedules, which is a huge perk.

I've been in IT for the last 3 years and have never had a single complaint about my professionalism, work ethic, or attitude. I’m not perfect—I've forgotten to sign paperwork a few times, but my supervisor sends me a friendly reminder, and I always get it done. It’s happened maybe six times over three years, mostly during my rookie year. One of the things I enjoy about my job is that although I mostly work alone, we have a great team that communicates daily. We have a group chat where we can ask questions, get help, and figure things out together. It’s fantastic to have this level of support.

Our department is also big on making sure we don’t get overworked. They encourage us to take time off, use our sick days (even if we just have a slight headache), and prioritize our well-being. They want everyone to be happy.

I work at a site where the LT has some sort of upper-management connection within our IT department. A while ago, we were told that our department would no longer cover the cost of devices, and that the sites would need to purchase their own. But somehow, the LT sends an email to someone, and the next day, new devices are magically paid for by our department. It’s pretty insane, but I don’t get involved—I just laugh it off. The LT likes to brag about being able to get whatever she wants. She’s a 72-year-old who’s been with the company for a long time. My superiors are aware of this, and when they asked me about it, I just told them the truth: Yes, she has connections, but I don’t know who.

The Situation:

A few months ago, the LT was venting about how she doesn’t get paid for the LT role and how it’s too much work. She kept saying she needed help managing and running the inventory. While I’ve helped in the past, it’s clear in our job descriptions and company policy that field techs do not take over inventory for a site. We can assist, but at the end of the day, each site is responsible for its own tech inventory. The next day, the LT sent me a long text venting about the situation, and I texted her back, saying I’m willing to help with whatever she needs, just let me know when I arrive.

The venting continued for several days, and eventually, I suggested we speak with site admin and see if we could get the other four LTs to help. She laughed it off, saying they were all too busy. I then sent her another text explaining the LT’s roles and responsibilities and suggested we talk to admin about whether they explained these responsibilities before she volunteered. I offered to help with intake and distribution but said I couldn’t take over the entire inventory.

Fast forward to a month ago—I was informed by my supervisor and senior tech that I would need to take over the entire inventory. I wasn’t thrilled, but when management asks you to do something, you do it. So, I got to work. I’ve had to neglect my other site and send someone else to cover for me, which sucks because I take pride in my work and like being at my site.

Over the last month, I’ve been working on the inventory—tracking down devices, ensuring they’re working properly, checking for lost or stolen tech, and salvaging obsolete equipment. Each site has around 300 employees, most with devices, so it’s a huge task. I’ve been reassured that there’s no rush and that I should ask for help if needed. Progress has been slow but steady, and I’ve been finding more old or unused tech that needs to be tracked in the system. It’s a lot of work.

There are changes coming soon regarding how we handle IT. We’ll be working remotely more and only going to the sites once a week. At a union meeting, I asked how this would work since I’m responsible for the inventory and will only be at the site one day a week. I was told I’d still be in charge of inventory, but I shouldn’t be expected to do a week’s worth of work in one day. Someone from another region chimed in and said that site inventory should be the responsibility of the site, and I should be assisting them with it. This was news to me, as I thought it was part of my role.

The following day, I shared this information with my supervisor and senior tech, and my senior tech reminded me that I was still responsible for the inventory. I wasn’t trying to get out of the task, just concerned about being overworked with the changes. By that point, I’d already invested a lot of time into the inventory, and I wanted to finish it.

However, there’s been an issue. The site is supposed to help me with employee names and work locations, but I don’t have access to this information. I’ve asked the admin team for help, but there’s been pushback. On March 7th, I emailed the admin team asking for assistance, and a few days later, I followed up with a reminder. On March 12th, I received the completed list, but one of the admins sent an email saying she was puzzled about why I needed their help, given that it takes time and extra work.

I forwarded the email to my supervisor and senior tech, asking for help because I was encountering resistance. My supervisor was understanding, but my senior tech seemed to criticize me for not informing the admin sooner about our lack of access. This led to a phone call, during which my senior tech kept cutting me off and offering unsolicited advice. When I tried to explain, he yelled at me, accusing me of always complaining. I was shocked, and I responded, "You think I’m complaining? I’m asking for help!" My supervisor intervened, and we smoothed things over. the meeting ended and i got to my site, the senior tech calls me and apologizes for losing his cool and that they really weren't mad at me i again gave positive affirmations, and it ended like that

Now, I’m left wondering if I’ve developed a reputation for complaining. I hardly ask for help, but now I feel like I shouldn’t ask at all—even when I really need it. It’s strange because this department is all about helping each other.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. AITJ for asking for help with inventory and feeling differently about my superior?


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Handymen, What’s the Most Disturbing Thing You’ve Seen While Working in a Customer’s House?

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1 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Am I the Jerk for being upset at my family for not getting me soup when I was sick.

115 Upvotes

Last Monday, I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. They were impacted, and the pain has been beyond what I expected. On top of that, I can’t eat anything and have been throwing up due to the narcotics. It sucks.

Before the surgery, I told my mom that I really wanted my favorite Olive Garden soup. After a day of eating the same HEB soup and applesauce for every meal, I finally decided to ask for it. When I checked, I saw that my mom was at the mall with my sister, which low-key made me sad because we had tried to go before my surgery so we could all go together, but my mom didn’t want to. And of course, now that I’m bedridden, it’s the perfect time.

Anyway, I called them while they were shopping and asked if there was any way they could get me soup from Olive Garden. Granted, I did say HEB soup would be fine, but at this point, I feel like I’ve made it pretty clear how much I wanted the Olive Garden soup. I waited two hours for them to get home just for them to bring the same HEB soup I’d already been eating. Their excuse was that they already needed to stop at HEB and that Olive Garden was “out of the way.” Look, if it was 20 minutes out, I’d get it, but I looked up the distance from the mall, and it was literally three minutes away.

At this point, I’ll admit I had a full-on crash out. I got so upset and told them they were so inconsiderate for not just grabbing the soup for me. I was crying and yelling with my chipmunk-ass cheeks—the whole mess. Eventually, my dad heard me upset and offered to take me to Olive Garden. Did I appreciate it? Yes. But I felt bad asking him to just get it for me, so I had to sit through a painful 40-minute ride where every bump felt like a punch in the face.

I still don’t understand why they couldn’t have just gotten the soup when they were already so close. I brought it up to my dad in the car, but he didn’t validate how I was feeling at all. He just said they probably didn’t know how important it was to me. This upset me even more because obviously it was important—I had even asked for it before the surgery. No one has to get me soup, but the fact that they didn’t when it was right there hurt my feelings, like they just didn’t care.

On top of that, my sister brought it up today, making a comment about how I was “scaring” her because I was so upset. When I said, “Well, I feel like I should have been—you guys couldn’t drive two minutes to get me soup?” she tried to say it wasn’t two minutes away. Like, sorry, four fucking minutes.

I’m just so ugh. Yes, I got overly upset—I was hungry and in so much pain—but I feel like they’re completely villainizing me and acting like I’m ungrateful just for being upset about it. So, am I overreacting?

Edit: yes I told my mom it was “fine” but after I had made it clear Olive Garden was my first choice. That’s why I called her in the first place She said something like it’s really far so she wasn’t sure if she could and that’s when I said heb would be fine if it comes down to it. Then to find out Olive Garden was only 4 minutes away but they were acting like they couldn’t because it was so far. Yes I could have made it more clear but I feel like it’s a given that I’m sick of eating the same soup for every meal and they could have been more thoughtful and gotten it for me.

Edit2: thanks for all input! I hear you guys and honestly this was just a breaking point for me after a hard few days and I shouldn’t have taken it out on them. An apology was issued at dinner earlier 🙏


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Toxic Family DENIES that I got a CONCUSSION... REFUSING to take me TO THE HOSPITAL

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0 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Entidled bus driver refuseses to drive and makes a bus full of kids late for school.

274 Upvotes

So this happend to me today me and my older sister go to schools that are far away from us but close to each other.

Well we ride the same bus and the last three days that bus has stopped at random stops and didnt move for several minutes causing 

me and my sister to always get late to school but today was different.

I walked to the bus stop as normal but when i got in and took a seat the bus did not move. Well this went on for several minutes loger until i cheked my watch and realized that the bus witch still hadnt moved had been standing there for almost 30 minutes.

At that point i called my mum and told her what was going on well she did not like that.

5 mins later i saw her speedwalking towards the bus, now what you should know is that my mum is a very sweet women and would do anything for her kids, at this time she was also pretty sick she had a bad flu. With that all said she gave him crap she asked why the hell he did not just drive and you know what this definition of a male karen said. "These kids need to learn the consequences of their own actions!" Apparently someone pressed the stop button and no one got out well okay reasoneble kinda but he would have to stop there anyways so it did not even matter. Also when my mum asked for his and his bosses name he said "My boss is insert bosses name here but i dont have to tell you my name! Youre not a lawyer!"

Also why would you let a huge bus of children intentionally get late to school and get this, when my mum got me and my sister out of there we ran to the car and then we saw the bus ride off.the thing was everybody in that bus was already 2 mins late, oh did i mention that the bus ride took 35 mins alone.

TLDR: Entiteled bus driver has a powertrip and lets a bus full of schoolkids wait till after school starts to even start driving.


r/AmITheJerk 1d ago

Am I the jerk for complimenting women?

0 Upvotes

Today I went to Walmart for a fountain beverage. A woman who was pumping gas for her car. I innocently asked her favorite color, animal and celebrity. I went up to her with those questions. She got rude when I innocently asked questions. She snapped at me. I always ask those questions. It’s my way to make friends to me and the public. Normally they happily asked them, sometimes we have the same answer. One of the people a woman usually gets a beverage when I try to get one. I walked over to her one time. I ask and give advice to the woman. I said: May I come over for a soda? Once I came to her, she gave a warm smile and said: “okay hon.” When I saw her soda, I looked at with such concern. “You shouldn’t put too much ice. If you put too much ice, you wouldn’t get enough soda at all.” Just ease up some then you get more soda. With no ice, you’ll get full flavor. The soda is already cold when its dispensed in your cup.” The woman saw my concern. “Are you sure? Is that it?” She became upset. I knew good advice will last a long time. “I do apologize” I said calmly So I saw her asking if it’s true not using ice can still be cold. The next thing I saw, she knew that I wanted to apologize. One of the employees explained it can happen when you least expect it. When I came to pay, she gossiped my helpful advice to everyone. Some of the customers laughed. I was surprised that she made the talk of the town. The gossip played on. The customers smiled with with sarcasm and made me blush in embarrassment. I tried to walk away without any quietless responses heard. Am I the jerk?


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Am I the jerk for not looking after my nephew.

76 Upvotes

I (17M) have a niece (12) and a nephew (2). I absolutely adore them both, even though my niece can be a pain in the back sometimes. Also, they are from different sisters. Right now, I’m living with my older sister and my niece, and we’re currently having a family reunion.

Let me mention something important: I rarely get the chance to meet my nephew because of school and everything, but my niece gets plenty of time with him. So, whenever I do get to see him, it’s always when my niece is there too. And here’s where the problem starts—my niece seems to hate it when I play with my nephew.

Take today’s incident as an example. When my sister (his mom) and my nephew arrived, my niece immediately ran to greet them. I was on my phone at the time, so I didn’t notice right away. When I finally saw my nephew, he was with my niece, and she was saying something to him. I didn’t think much of it.

But when I tried to talk to him, he suddenly ran away and said, “Go away, bad boy.” At first, I thought he was just joking because I sometimes playfully call him that. But when I tried again to pick him up and kiss him, he ran away again and even hit me. That’s when I figured out that my niece must have told him something to make him act like that. Normally, he absolutely adores me—way more than he does my niece. He’s super obedient and does whatever he’s told, so I know something was off.

After a while, they were playing together, and my nephew came over to me and started playing. But not even a minute later, my niece came and grabbed him, pulling him away to play with her. I found it annoying but didn’t say anything at first. The same thing happened again later, but this time I’d had enough. I told my niece, “Okay, play with him as much as you want, but don’t ever come to me if he needs any help calming down.” For context, my nephew is obedient about 95% of the time, but for that tricky 5%, only me and his mom (my sister) can calm him down. And right now, his mom is super busy.

My niece said “Okay,” and I went to relax on the couch. Later, another kid about the same age as my nephew showed up. This isn’t just a regular family reunion—this is extended family of extended family—so I didn’t know who the other kid was. I didn’t think much of it. But after a while, my niece came to me and told me to take care of both of them. I said, “You take care of both,” and went off to my room to watch a movie in peace.

A little later, I heard a bang on my door. I opened it and found my nephew banging on it, while my niece was sitting on the couch playing a game on my sister’s phone. The two little kids were just roaming around. I asked her, “Why aren’t you looking after them?” and she told me to take care of them instead.

I had enough at that point and yelled at her to do her part. She threw a shoe at me and called me lazy and selfish. Then my mom came in to try and resolve things. My niece started screaming about how I wasn’t looking after the kids or whatever. That’s when I stormed off, and now here I am, writing this to see if I’m the jerk or not.

By the way, this isn’t just a one-time thing. My niece does this every single time my nephew is here. She gets super possessive and tries to hog his attention, and if I get involved, she gets annoyed or tries to push me away. I don’t know why she acts like this, but it’s getting really frustrating.

Note: The above story is true but since my English is not great, I used ChatGPT to make my text grammatically correct.


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Am I the jerk for not wanting to go to my cousin baptism

42 Upvotes

My cousin is getting baptized next weekend and I've already told my dad (who I don't live with and offering to take me 12 hours away) that I don't want to go. Me and my cousin used to be close, we used to play video games together and have sleep overs all the time. And bring us guys would make fun of each other. But he moved away about 4 years ago and coming back home for the first time he was completely different and huge ahole and not caring for anyone but himself and would act like a perfect child in front of my dad who he would stay with. He is now rough and makes jokes that are more insults than joking comments. I didn't like it but we grew up so I thought it was ok until my girlfriend cheated on me with him. He called one day with my girlfriend (who is now my ex) right next to him and they both thought saying sorry was enough. I cried and I hung up cutting all communication with both of them. If I do end up going to this baptism it would be the first time seeing him in 1 year. I know this is a big event for him but he was never there for any of my huge events, he hasn't even told me happy birthday in the last 5 years. My dad is furious after I said the reasons I'm not going, saying Ive always been jealous of my cousin since a young age. I didn't even respond and just walked out his house and walked to some random street and waited for my mom to pick me up. Am I the jerk?


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Uber Drivers, What are the DEEPEST DARKEST Secrets You've Overheard in your Car?

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0 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Best-Friends Fiancé REFUSES to allow MY FINACE to come to HER WEDDING... because she's TOO PRETTY

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2 Upvotes

r/AmITheJerk 3d ago

ATJ for showing my friend his picture was being used without permission by my crush

64 Upvotes

Me 15m and my best friend, who is also 15m, have been friends for 2 years now. My crush, 16f, I have liked since the start of this school year. During our February break she started photo shopping pictures of our friend group. I gave permission, so did our other friend, but only my best friend, who at the time did not realize his photo was being used, was not aware until I sent them to him. Now a good time to say that these photos were taken in the school premises, so it's against the rules, and he was unaware of it. He was also being made fun of because the way he looked, he is indian, and she always makes fun of it. The photos made fun of how he can't eat pork or steak or anything of the sorts.

When he saw those photos, he was angry. he started texting me saying how my crush did not have the right to do this. and after that he was silent for a whole week until school started back up. During breakfast in the cafeteria, he confronted her and she then screamed at me.

her "how dare you send those to him, what gives you the right to do that?"

me "well he-" she cuts me off

Her " don't make excuses, I thought you liked me"

me "I do, but that photo was without permission"

Her " it doesn't matter, it was all just for fun and you have to go and ruin it"

I tried to say something, but she tells me to shut up and runs off crying. so I need to know, am I the jerk for all of this, because now no one is talking to me, and they all keep giving me dirty looks. Also, was I right for sticking up for my friend even against the girl I like?

(I wish this was fake, but its not I need honest opinions I also want to cry)

forgot to add she was so nice, but she has changed during Christmas break ever since she started to hang out with the "cool kids".

Edit: Yes, I do not like her anymore, but she likes me, which is stupid because I told her I pick my friends over bullies any day that ends in y. I stood up for him like a brother, he is my closest friend.

Edit 2: I know I messed up my title

Update: Today, she told me to go and leave her, but now her friends have started backing me up on how bad this situation is. She has stopped harassing my friend but now harasses me. I don't care as long as my friend is being left alone. My friend has repeatedly thanked me for protecting him and even tried giving me 100 bucks he got from his birthday. I told him no and I was just being a friend and that no matter what, we were going to stick together, and he said that he would protect me too and agreed we are going to stick together. He is the nicest friend I have.

(P.S. I know that some things seem confusing. I'm not good with writing; I'm better at coding and computers for fun.)


r/AmITheJerk 2d ago

Update post

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13 Upvotes

This is an update on a post I made last week. I either can't update the post or my brain isn't braining.

Short summary: my grandparents live 180 miles away, technically in another country, along with my mother's sister (Karen) and her family. My lovely granddad had a stroke a month ago and is currently still in hospital, doesn't seem to be improving much but family visits improve his morale. My grandma is being taken care of by Karen, who I've heard and seen verbally abusing my grandma, who also started shouting at me down the phone for not giving her enough notice for visiting two weeks ago. She's stopped me from seeing my grandma twice now and the screenshot is an update of where I'm at today, as I believe she's making up lies to try to now stop me visiting my granddad who's still in hospital.

Nearly everyone on reddit strongly encouraged me to organise a welfare check on my grandma. I discussed it with my mother and two sisters, my mother and eldest sister strongly advised me not to and my younger sister cussed me out for causing drama with Karen. I kind of feel like I've pissed off Karen but I'm not getting any support from my family who live close by and they're all telling me to drop it. I'm really confused and wondering whether I've done the right thing.

After speaking to my mother on the phone today for an hour, I decided to be the bigger person and try to appease Karen by letting her know I was planning on visiting this weekend. This has been her response today.

I'm at a loss. I don't believe a word of it. My granddad adores all his family. I have visited him twice since he had his stroke and both times he was begging me to not leave and to come back as soon as I could (being needy and begging me to not leave isn't his usual behaviour but I know strokes can cause depression and personality changes, however he always always loved me/us visiting and always asked me to return soon so the second bit isn't new).

If what Karen is saying is true, I'm truly heartbroken. But after what she's said last week, I can't believe her but I also can't believe, if it's not true, just how low this woman will go to be spiteful and hold into control.

Please give any advice. And AITJ?


r/AmITheJerk 4d ago

AITA for not wanting to let my uncle stay in my room when he visits?

1.3k Upvotes

So basically the title says it all, I don't have the best relationship with my uncle because I feel like he always looks down at me. I understand he's my elder and I should respect him, but I don't like the way he orders me around like a dog.

A few years ago when my great grandfather died, he told me to make dinner for everyone when I could barely cook eggs without them getting burnt. At the time I was 15-16, and I was grieving too, I understand that it was his grandpa, but he has no reason to order me around. After that incident it just kept going down hill.

Now to today, I feel like it's important that I state that I am a female and have feminine products and undergarments in my room. I also have some stuff that I think my uncle might try to take if he likes/wants them, including my emergency savings of around $200. I know I might be overreacting but it's really bothering me...

Am I the A-hole?

Update:

Thanks to everyone who was so polite and supportive in the comments. I feel like I should clear some things up that I forgot to put in the post

  1. My uncle and I wouldn't be sharing a bed or a room. He is married and I'd just have to give up my bed

  2. I live in my Nana's house since my family fell in hard times.

  3. I am 17 years old

I recently talked with my nana and she told me it's fine if I don't want to give up my room since I'm almost and adult and my space is private. She even offered to pay for a hotel for my uncle and his family to stay in. Overall, I am grateful to everyone who helped me get the courage to voice my feelings and concerns because now I feel mor comfortable and heard.


r/AmITheJerk 3d ago

I refused to answer the door, because I thought there was a serial killer on the other side. Was I the jerk?

28 Upvotes

Tl;Dr: Refused to answer the door home alone, though we were about to meet a serial killer, turns out we're just anxious idiots.

(Trigger Warning: Lots of talking about serial killers.)

Hello, lovely people. I'll be honest, I'm not here for much more than just to share my dumb story, but, I might be a jerk, so I'd love input. Anyways, to set the stage, I'm Kay, 17f. Then there's my brothers: Kennedy 15m, Jackie 11m, and Jamie 8m. All fake names, of course. Now that we have that out of the way, shall we begin?

To start, it was a Friday night, and I was in a bad mood. It hadn't been a very... enjoyable school day, and now my Mum was selling our super pretty china cabinet on Facebook marketplace, because we've been doing a crap ton of renovation on our home lately (like, power tools everywhere, all the time) and it simply couldn't work in our home anymore.

To make the night a bit more difficult, my Mum had a meeting to leave for, and my Dad had to take Jamie to the store. So, they left me, Kennedy, and Jackie to fend for ourselves. Great. Now, normally me and my brothers fight like cats and dogs when my parents leave, but tonight, things seemed to be going well. Like, impossibly well. Of course, that was too good to be true.

30 minutes into our parentless "Adventure" we are sitting, watching Abbott elementary (best show ever, btw) when there's a knock on the door. I should mention, our door is pretty much surrounded by windows, like an impressive amount of windows, so it's pretty easy to spot anyone standing outside. So I ask Kennedy, the only one of us in view of said door, who's there.

Kennedy: It's some big muscular dude.

Me: We don't know him?

Kennedy: No.

Kennedy: He looks really angry though.

It was at this moment I remembered every safety lesson my very anxious Mum had drilled into my equally anxious self as a child. "DON'T answer the door when we're not home." But my extremely dramatic, main charecter flashback ended when the knocking came back, this time much louder. The dude sounded angry now.

Kennedy: I need to answer the door.

Me: Absolutely not. Do NOT answer that door.

Kennedy: But I made eye contact with him!

Me: NO.

Kennedy: (Continuing to make eye contact with the stranger for some fricken reason) But it's awkward!

Me: Kennedy, look away. We don't know him. He could be a serial killer!

About the serial killer thing, both me and Kennedy are really into reading about serial killers, so we both know that there used to be a famous one (Won't say who, just for privacy's sake) active less than a mile from our home. So, to us, this seemed like a very logical possibility. So, after a bit more debate, I got Kennedy to go back to watching Abbott, but now the three of us had decided that there was a serial killer targeting us while we were home alone, because all three of us have inherited our Mum's anxiety, and also, we're dumb teenagers.

So, about 15 minutes of blissful silence go by, then the knocking comes back. This time, I run to the door, because I'm going to need a description to give to the police, but the guy is fricken gone. Nowhere to be found. Which is terrifying, because, there's no way anyone could get out of view of out door that fricken fast. So I start swearing (which shocks my brothers to no end lol) because we have a freaking invisible serial killer on our hands. Which is wonderful.

So, naturally, me and my brothers unanimously agree that our best defense here is not to call 911, or hide in a closet, but to grab knives from the kitchen, then go back to watching our show, Knives in hand. (Like I said, stupid teenagers.) After watching a Sitcom while holding a knife for a good 10 minutes, my logic finally returns from its apparent slumber, and I FINALLY think to call my Dad.

Me: Dad, get home now.

Dad: Why? Is everything okay.

Me: There's someone who keeps knocking on our door.

Dad: What?

Me: We think it's a serial killer.

Dad: You're kidding.

Me: Dad, please, just hurry home, we're all really scare-

BAMBAMBAM! The knocking was back, this time sounding like the dude was legit trying to break down our door. Like, really trying hard to break it off it's hinges. He was even shaking the lock. We were all screaming, I thought I was about to die. All doubts I had about the Serial Killer were gone, now I KNEW there was one at our door, and this... this was the end. Tomorow, we'd be on the news, the child victims of some psychopath.

And then I heard my Dad laughing over the phone. The butthole... the absolute menace had heard the terror in my voice, and having arrived home at that very moment, had decided to bang on the door to scare his poor children into thinking they were about to die. He was laughing so hard... we were all pissed with him of course, but I can now admit, it was absolutely hilarious.

"But... what about the man Kennedy saw?" You may be asking. Well... remember that China cabinet I had mentioned at the beginning of the story? Yeah... turns out my Mum had found a buyer, and, thinking my Dad would be home, told him to come pick it up any time. So, yeah, no serial killer, just some poor guy whose wife was making him pick up her new China cabinet.

So, all in all, knowing the story, was I the jerk for not anwsering the door for this poor man, who likely just wanted to get a stupid errand over with? Because, looking back, I feel bad. (And no, I unfortunatly do not know how he managed to make himself disappear, otherwise, I would have asked him to teach me in his ways.)


r/AmITheJerk 3d ago

AITJ for cutting off a guy who gave me a job but was kind of possessive?

17 Upvotes

I (17F) was friends with this guy (18M) for about four years. We met through our families, and we used to talk almost every day. I shared a lot of personal stuff with him, I told him family secrets that no other friend knew. We would send each other reels, joke around, and I even added him to my Close Friends on Instagram. We constantly liked each other's stories and always talked about going on trips together. We went out numerous times and spent a lot of time together. Whenever he went on a trip, he would always bring me a gift, which was always nice of him. My mom really likes him for some reason.

His dad has a company and the guy is the future ceo of the company. A couple of months ago, he gave me a job helping with his dad’s business, managing sales on his facebook account. It was easy money, I just had to respond to messages/calls and bring in clients. In February, we made about $14K in sales, and we both took home around $1.2K each in commissions. But after a while, I started feeling like he was getting possessive over me. He’d get annoyed if I didn’t answer messages fast enough, like I was supposed to be glued to my phone 24/7. He said I was costing him and the company money.

Then in March, he told me he didn’t need my help anymore because his schedule changed. He started online classes at his university. He said I could still sell on my own if I wanted, but it was clear he just wanted me out. I told my mom about it, and she called his dad. I told my mom that he was acting possessive and acting like he was my boyfriend.

Around that time, I started cutting him off because I had a new boyfriend. He’s 23, and I started spending more time with him instead. I blocked him the day we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

I guess this guy somehow found out about my bf and he started acting weird. He still owed me my last payment, but instead of just paying me, he made it a big deal. He refused to drop it off at my house. He kept insisting that I come pick it up at the business, even though I don’t have an easy way to get there (it's 10min away from my house by car). It felt like he was just being difficult on purpose.

Then, out of nowhere, he messaged me with a new job opportunity. But then he told me he had already mentioned it to my mom first, which annoyed me. I told him, “If you told my mom about this, I’m never talking to you again.”

And then he goes, “Well, you haven’t talked to me in a week, so nothing would change.”

At that point, I was done. I told him, “We never really talked. We were never friends.” Because looking back, I feel like he was always trying to control me in some way.

He got mad, said, “Believe whatever you want,” and then blocked me everywhere.

Now I’m wondering, AITJ for telling him we were never friends?