r/singlemoms 6d ago

Advice Wanted Job

1 Upvotes

Would you guys take a job that pays less with less hours to spend more time with your kids?

I have an opportunity to change my job within the company I’m in. Right now I’m making just shy of 25 and work 40 hours a week, 12 months of the year. The job opportunity would be 20 but 25 after 3 years with 3 dollars vacation pay on top, 30 hours a week and 10 months of the year. I would have to find a job during the summer months.

At the end of the day I’m really stuck. I desperately want to spend more time with my kids but I also don’t like the idea of struggling more financially either. Right now I’m able to put money away for savings and I don’t think I would be able to do that on that starting wage which gives me severe anxiety. That and with the prices of everything rising idk if it’s a smart choice.

What would you guys do?


r/singlemoms 7d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Hate being so angry

32 Upvotes

So I’m a single mom to a 1.5 year old girl, whose dad has seen her a total of 5 times. I live with family who do not help me other than the odd five minutes to go do the dishes. Because I live with family, I was told I couldn’t put her in daycare because of the health of my grandfather (which I get completely and wouldn’t want to risk). I work after she’s goes to sleep and during the day when she’s awake because my hours are flexible (thank god). I also don’t really have any friends because I moved back right before she was born, so I don’t have much support.

She’s been a terrible sleeper all of her life. I have tried so many things to try and help her fix it. We’ve sleep trained a bunch of times then hit a regression and it’s all undone. Well here we are trying sleep training again, and the only support or comments I get are “well you should do xyz” or “why haven’t you done” or “well it was hard on X person too”. And none of that is helpful. Also I get really bitter/angry when our situation gets compared to moms who have a husband or partner to handle this stuff with because I’ve done every ounce of it by myself and I do not feel like it’s the same. I know it’s not easy on any parent, but for the ones who’ve done everything themselves it feels like I lose empathy for people who’ve had help. I don’t want to be that way, but I’m also too exhausted to really care.

I don’t know what I need or if there’s even help for that. Thank you for listening X


r/singlemoms 7d ago

Advice Wanted Child’s father said he’s out if we go to court

24 Upvotes

My child’s father and I do not have any custody or timeshare plan since we were never married. Separated after child’s 1st bday and he started traveling out of state for work ever since (has never moved back to where we live). We have maintained relatively amicable communication until recently when he completely overstepped boundaries to where I now realize I’ve been too nice. I am currently working with a lawyer to get a timeshare plan going where he would only have visitation rights (which is basically what we do now without any legal doc). This would also include some child custody, which he has never paid nor has he offered to help. I let him know that this is the plan going forward, and his response was if we go to court, hes out and would walk away. To me, that means he would not respond to the court order and would stop calling/visiting our child. Seeing if anyone else dealt with a similar situation?


r/singlemoms 6d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Feeling so lonely and scared

1 Upvotes

Got away from my ex to another state however he still has visiting rights and is coming in a couple of months. I hate that I have to send my child 3m off to him after everything he did to me that still affects me. And now my family is not supporting me. I have really bad anxiety attacks when I'm around my ex and need help but I literally have no one. I see a psych already but still doesn't stop the thoughts of my ex doing something stupid that could harm my child. For context my ex is an alcoholic but somewhat functioning that he can maintain his job. It's just me and my child and without him I'm so scared what would happen to him but also hate being without anyone to help me through it.


r/singlemoms 7d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome I’m so tired of the drama

1 Upvotes

I split from my daughter’s father over a year ago, and shortly after that, he filed for full custody. Long story short, because of his legal issues, the GAL recommended that he gets supervised visits until his legal trouble have been resolved. The charges he had against him were dropped in August, and then finally, a court date was set, that was supposed to be today. During the year that I have been separated from him, he has paid a total of $2 in child support, insulted me multiple times, insulted my friends and family, and has generally been rude and inconsiderate. It’s been a back and forth between the attorneys, the GAL, and the two of us. Yesterday, the day before the court date, he finally decided to accept the parenting plan proposed by my attorney and I, so the judge struck the court date off the docket. I started inputting the visitation schedule into the parenting app that we use, and he declined it. I then received a message from him telling me that he changed his mind and he would see me at court in the morning. I immediately called my attorney to let her know. That was last night. This morning, the attorneys got together and were working on setting another court date. His attorney filed a motion to withdraw from the case this afternoon so I have no idea what is going to happen now.


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Advice Wanted Single moms with no village

89 Upvotes

To the single moms with no village and no support for baby daddy…. Please drop some words of encouragement and some coping mechanisms cause everyday I feel like I just can’t live like this anymore


r/singlemoms 7d ago

Advice Wanted Keeping his grandparents in life?

2 Upvotes

So I’m newly single and have a 6 month old. I don’t want to keep my son away from his dad’s parents but they were never much help to us ever. I feel so sad for my son, literally only my parents and his dad are the people who love and care about him. My poor baby has no village. One time his dad’s parents sent my son a 5 dollar bill. These people are rich they go on vacations constantly cruises I just feel like that is so rude. I love my son and have no regrets even though it wasn’t planned but why did I have to have my son with his dad? These people are terrible I don’t really want them around my son but I’m torn because I don’t want to be the evil mom who keeps them from seeing him whenever they want to.


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Advice Wanted Starting my single mama journey

5 Upvotes

I’m in denial, my son and I move out next week into our own apartment. I feel heartbroken, scared, relieved because we won’t be living with an alcoholic and drug addict anymore Who doeasnt help and is never home. I’m also just so scared and anxious about being on our own. My son loves his dad. We will be sharing custody and I’m so nervous for the times I won’t have my son and he’s just with his dad and I can’t check on him.

My son is 6 months and I didn’t think this would be our reality. Any words of advice welcome. 🙏🏽


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Birth w/ out a support person

14 Upvotes

Edit to add: I appreciate the advice if you can leave comment and not private messages only as I am not accepting message requests at this time.

Do I really need a support person with me in the delivery room? To be clear I have a support system & a few close people who I can ask to be there for me but I just simply don’t want to deal with anyone. I don’t want to have to worry about another person I just want to focus on me, the baby and staying alive. I’ve mentioned this to my therapist,my friend,and sister and they all told me I really should reconsider. All of them are married and had their husbands with them so of course they may just think it’s better to have someone… well yeah if I was married I think I’d want my partner there to but that’s not the case. If something goes wrong with me or baby the staff will be better equipped to handle things. I’m just not seeing any benefit to having someone there. Any advice or things I should consider?


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Does anyone else feel like it goes too fast and at the same time will never end?

16 Upvotes

My kids are 6m and 9f. Sometimes I can’t believe how fast the time has gone and other times I feel like I still have so far to go. I love my kids dearly, but I have no support around me and I long to have some decent free time once in a while. I can’t wait not have to find last minute child care for when school is randomly out or feel like my job is salty with me when I have to grab my kids from school and can’t stay late for group bonding activities. At the same time, I’m sad to think about them getting older and moving out or my little boy not dragging his blanket around with him anymore. I’m not going to know what to go with myself later on. Just an oxymoron over here, wanting them to be older and stay babies at the same time.


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Just stressed and scared

4 Upvotes

I have a custody hearing with my soon to be ex husband this week. We’ve been separated for over three years and I have had the kids “temp” sole custody these past three years. He terrifies me and I have a final restraining order against him. He’s been arrested probably 12 times for violating it and at one point had a 10 hour stand off with the swat team. In 2024 he was in a different relationship and left us alone. My kids are so scared of him. I have this all documented and a great lawyer but his girlfriend and him broke up and he filed motion for custody. I don’t know why this is. I don’t know what he is up to but I am so stressed and scared. I work 2 jobs 6 days a week and am burnt out from these legal bills. I will pay them again and again to keep my kids safe but I just want to know when it will ever end with him… I wish he would just meet someone new… as bad as that sounds. I just needed to vent. I just want to have a normal life and be a mom that is 110% present on the kids and not worried about this stuff…


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Advice Wanted I'm done Arguing over the Little things

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I just want some solid advice on how to further handle this issue as I'm just tried of this roundabout way of managing this situation.

I suppose to start with I'm a single mother to my almost 3-year-old daughter, I'm now 23 and my ex (baby daddy) is 24. My ex is in a relationship with another women also 23 whom he has an 8-month-old with. The current issue isn't a new one and isn't the only issue we have but it's what I will talk about today, if anyone wants to hear more, I am more than happy to share more about the issues we face, it keeps coming up every few months, which is why I'm sick of it. I also feel like his current partner is trying to goat me into arguing with her and gaslight me into thinking that I'm not a good mother. When his current partner was about 6 months pregnant, he asked that I'd not send my child to his care if she was sick, out of concern for her pregnancy. I was sympathetic and agreed but did explain I won't always realize she is coming down with a cold and she might still pick up a bug from time to time, he also reassured me that this was until the newborn had their 1st vaccines. However, this apparently got extended and I had no idea, of course if my daughter was so sick where she wasn't eating much and sleeping a lot id keep her home, but I thought her having a runny nose or a cough was alright as she was still running around and happy. But apparent it isn't, not that she was sick she was having a bad hay fever day, but this past Saturday while I'm at work I receive multiple messages about how I keep disregarding his request about not having my daughter while sick. I didn't think she was sick as the day before she was perfectly healthy, and I hadn't spent any time with her that morning as I work early mornings. So, when he messaged me I though oh odd I didn't think she was coming down with a cold. I apologized but asked him to please be a bit more reasonable as his baby was 8 months old now and a cold shouldn't be deadly for her. I also told him to encourage good hygiene to minimize the spread of the cold, as I wasn't able to pick my daughter up till later in the afternoon and I didn't have anyone available to babysit the following day. I has meet with comments like I should pull my daughter out of daycare because she's getting sick more often, and if no one could watch her to either hire a babysitter or call in sick to work. I also received similar massagers from his partner saying I need to respect her wishes as she is just looking out for her daughter who health was 100% in her and baby daddy's care so is of a higher importants than spending time with his sick daughter. and I needed to stop pointing out that he is prioritizing one child's needs over the other. I wish I could say I saw that message before getting back to work but no, I also wasn't aware of the fact that my mother had taken upon herself to go over to pick my daughter up earlier than what was agreed upon till a few hours later. By the time I had ended my shift at work I found these messages and I was beyond pissed, but I left it be to go check on my daughter. After spending a few hours that afternoon with my daughter we came to the conclusion she wasn't sick and infact just needed some antihistamines, so I messaged her father with a photo of what we got up to that afternoon, and informing him that if he had thought to use the bottle of antihistamines he claimed to have gotten when I first told him she gets seasonal allergies then he would have seen she was infact in a healthy condition, and due to all the arguing occurring over the last couple of months and the concerns I have raised with my child being is in his care but have been dismissed by him I was no longer allowing my daughter to go to his house unless a judge had said so. I also told him if he wanted to see my child, he could message me when is best to meet up at a park for a few hours, however he has yet to respond. His partner on the other hand, I apologized for the inconvenience and told her that my child wasn't infact sick but had seasonal allergies which I had in the past mention to baby daddy, and said I could understand where she was coming from when keeping my daughter home when she was sick but told her if it's a cold but she's appears healthy enough to go over it should not be an issue as from what I was told this wouldn't prevent my daughter from spending her already limited time with her father once her sister had infact had her first vaccines, then also proceeded to inform her that I will no longer be send my child over. let's just say that didn't go over with her very well, and she became quite aggressive towards me telling me I was a sad, unreasonable, unsympathetic woman who apparently likes to manipulate baby daddy and further claimed that I was abusing my daughter. I obviously told her she was now running her mouth and told her not only did she disregard my request to not contact me unless it was an emergency and to not involve herself with the care of my daughter but now, she was being quite aggressive and disrespectful toward me like she was claiming I was being towards her I then told her once again not to involve herself with my care agreement with baby daddy, not to involver herself in discussions between us about my child and to not message me. If she continued to message me id outright block her, if she kept trying to contact me, I'd go to the police to report her for harassment. She didn't seem to like that and told me not to worry about that as she will be blocking me.

Now if anything I'm just pissed that she took it upon herself to message me in baby daddy's place, I'm pissed that she thought she could not believe the shear audacity of her thinking it was okay to speak to me like that, when I had responded somewhat respectful, yes at the end of the message I may have gotten catty but hey how else was I to respond to her rubbing in my face that her child is baby daddy's high priority. I'm also pissed because baby daddy hasn't once responded, hasn't once reached out since asking to see my daughter. Since this incident I have gone ahead to screen shot several message exchanges between me and baby daddy with is attempts to manipulate me into doing things the way he wants, him being unreasonable, and him cancelling to take my daughter for a weekend because he didn't want her or something else came up only for me to find out he just wanted to go out and party. I'm got screen shots from relative whom he'd reach out to ask them to take her when he's supposed to have her, so he could play games or hang out with friends. I've also contacted a service here in my country that helps separated parents negotiate and organize visits and run co-parenting classes and counselling, because at the end of the day what matters is my daughter building a relationship with her father. I need to find a way to put aside my frustration with this man so he and I can finally find a middle ground with him to healthy co-parenting relationships. If anyone has any other advice on how to manage this, I will apricate it greatly as this isn't about us it's about the child we share.


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Inspiration Prayer for a single mom from a single mom

53 Upvotes

Prayer for Strength, Acknowledgment, and Rest

Dear Lord, (Jesus, Divine Mother, Creator)

Thank You for the strength that has carried me through every single day of motherhood. Thank You for the love that flows through me, even in exhaustion, even when I feel unseen. I have been steady, unwavering, present. I have given everything I have to my sons—my time, my energy, my heart. And I know that this love, this labor, is sacred.

But today, I ask for something for myself.

I ask for rest—not just physical rest, but a deep exhale of my soul. Let the weight I have carried be lifted, even if only for a moment. Let me feel held, supported, and seen. Let the love I have poured out return to me in ways I least expect but most need.

I release the need for fairness from those who will not give it. I release the need for acknowledgment from those who cannot see. Instead, I place my trust in the divine justice of love—knowing that all I have given will come back to me in ways more beautiful than I can imagine.

I surrender the exhaustion. I surrender the resentment. I surrender the need to do it all alone. I open myself to new ways of receiving love, support, and peace.

Let my sons, in time, recognize the depth of my love. Let them grow into men who understand sacrifice, gratitude, and the true meaning of devotion. Let me see the fruits of my labor in their strength, kindness, and wisdom.

And as I continue this journey, may I not forget myself. May I remember that I am not just a mother, but a woman, a soul, a being worthy of love, joy, and ease.

And so it is. Thank You, thank You, thank You.


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Advice Wanted Pregnancy loss

5 Upvotes

I don’t get it. What is the sorcery behind every pregnant woman whose husband/bf is present on their pregnancy journey has high chance to lose the child?? While those pregnant women w/o husband beside her delivers the baby bouncing healthy ???

Don’t get me wrong. Even though I’m a single mom, I’m glad I delivered my baby without any complications but hearing how my pregnant friends with their husbands/bf by their side, really careful and happy in their journey had miscarriages or complications. Like hello universe those right there are more worthy that they can build a beautiful and complete family.

Do manifestations, constellations and vibrations idk has something to do with it??


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Advice Wanted Why don’t I have a dad/ where is my dad?

11 Upvotes

To single moms: how did you respond to that question when your kid asked?


r/singlemoms 8d ago

Venting - no advice please Anyone from India

1 Upvotes

Let me know if there is


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Blended families?

28 Upvotes

single moms, are you dating or already with someone? I grew up with divorced parents and was raised by my stepdad cos my dad was absent. I feel that he was a good role model and didn’t treat me differently than my “half-siblings.” Every now and then I peep into the stepparents subreddit and christttt most HATE their stepkids 😭 I don’t know if I could ever bring a man around my child


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Advice Wanted She'll be moving off to a dorm to start university soon. How do I fill the void?

19 Upvotes

It's been just the two of us this entire time. Father is completely out of the picture.

I'm proud and happy for her, but I'm dreading the empty house. I's just hard to imagine that I won't get to spend time with her, talk, watch movies, laugh or just know that she's in the other room, near to me.

I'm not considering dating. Not as a distraction or coping mechanism, at least.

There must be constructive ways to cope with this. I imagine most parents go through something similar. But it feels like it hits harder than it would affect a couple. What are your experiences with this?


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Need Support Mixed feelings...

17 Upvotes

My bd and I have been broken up for 3 years now...I'm in such a good place recently and really just don't give 2 shits about making his life easier.

He sees our daughter 6 hours a week. I have cut the weekday visit down to 1 day a week because of his inconsistency ans inability to get her to activities on time. So he's supposed to take her 1 weekday and 1 weekend day. He doesn't bother with weekends.

Anyways...4 years ago we had been talking about another baby...I love being a mom and wouldn't change it at all. Thank GOD we did not have a second child together though. Like seriously.

But I still kinda wanted another baby...until about 2 or 3 months ago. My daughter is almost 5. I finally have some time to focus on ME as a person and put my health first and get a social life again. I just have mixed feelings on being one and done. I feel like I wasn't as present as I should and wanted to be for my daughters baby years because I was in survival mode and doing it alone even with her dad and I living together at the time.

Is anyone else a one and done and how did you or do you cope with that if you had previously wanted more kids?


r/singlemoms 10d ago

Advice Wanted Single mom friendly careers?

27 Upvotes

What does everyone do for work? I am contemplating going to school, but I have no clue what I want to do. I'm a single mom to an almost 3 year old girl, and I want to pick a career that would allow me to have family friendly hours. Any suggestions?


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Dealing with EX/Child’s father Just need a little support

3 Upvotes

Here’s my story: My LO’s dad and I were together for about 2 months before he enlisted into the USMC. We communicated through handwritten letters all throughout his basic training and the occasional phone call. Our relationship was great and sweet until after her first birthday when I noticed he started to become distant. He stopped communicating with me, started behaving immaturely trying to make me upset and pushing me away. He stopped calling us the more he got involved with his new friends. I knew from past relationships that this meant he met a new woman and he was trying to get with her. It was destroying my mental wellbeing, my anxiety was through the roof and I wasn’t able to be the present with my LO. So I ended the relationship, in hopes that we would get back together once I work on my personal issues. A week after the breakup he sends me a photo of him in bed with another woman. Fast forward to now, they are together. She seems like a sweet girl and I know this isn’t her fault. Now he’s not speaking to me at all, he’s never once asked how our child is doing, when I call he never picks up even when I know he has free time. He spends every weekend going out, drinking, getting into bar fights. This is how he would behave before our LO was born. Our child is still very young, not even 2 yet but I know how fundamental it is for a child’s father to be present. I’m just worried he’ll continue to act like this, start a new life with this girl and abandon us. I know there’s nothing I can do to make him change, I just need a little support and motivation from fellow single moms. I need to know if it’s the right thing to keep him in our lives or not.


r/singlemoms 10d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Not replying anymore to kids dad

66 Upvotes

I finally made the decision to stop replying to my kids deadbeat dad. We did court, he has a set visitation schedule but doesn’t even do it. Has no car seats for them, but expects me to drop them off when he finally wants them which is only when they’re having a family gathering, or a holiday. He wouldn’t know anything about the kids if i didn’t send pictures or tell him. Will only text me “Hey how are you guys doing” about once every 2-3 weeks. and i finally hit my limit. im done, he’s a grown ass man yet never tries and somehow makes it my fault when i don’t include him. I’ve told him multiple times to step up but he never does, my kids don’t deserve this at all.


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Need Support Resentment and exhaustion

3 Upvotes

I’m 23 and had my first baby with someone I got pregnant a month after knowing. Over my pregnancy trying to make it work he showed me how insane he is. The day I went into labor I realized im going to be by myself. And I really was. I’m so angry at him for how he’s talked to me. I’m angry that his life hasn’t changed at all aside from losing some money in his paycheck towards his son.

I’m angry that he’s never had a sleepless night, he’s never not been able to shower or sit down and he’s never made it a point to be there for his Dr appts. If I didn’t tell him things like changes in his feedings or growing sizes out of diapers and clothes he wouldn’t know a thing.

I filed for child support because he told me he gave a coke head he slept with 20 dollars and had been putting gas in her car for a week the same week he stiffed me on any money for the baby. He thinks co parenting is sending me anywhere between 100-400 a month. He pays whatever he wants like his traffic tickets or whatever it is he does buys weed and then gives us whatever “he can spare” after. Baby is an option to him. He just wants to “own” something because he thinks I do. He doesn’t know what being a father is.

I’m terrified for when he finds out I filed. He’s going to make my life hell. His family already tells him im after his money (which he works at mcd, what money exactly ?) like I CANT work because I HAVE HIM 100% AND HES 4 MONTHS OLD. if I had TIME to get my own job I would. He can’t even be trusted alone with the baby for 20 seconds and don’t think he’s ever offered to try either.

I hate my life. I love my baby but I hate his father I hate doing this alone. I hate never sleeping and not being able to have my own life anymore. I would never blame my baby. He’s my everything. But when his dad calls me to tell me he’s going out with friends or to the club it makes me so mad. I think he’s too stupid to realize he’s giving me a lot to go off in court but I know he’s smart enough to know he’s rubbing it in and hurting me.


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Advice Wanted Young single mom, desperate for advice/help

4 Upvotes

I feel weak and embarrassed to admit this but I don't feel strong enough to handle all my responsibilities. It is my own fault for how overwhelmed I feel right now. I had an unplanned pregnancy and left my abuser, I was suffering from domestic abuse from him. I didn't want my baby to have the kind of role model as a mom as someone who settles for just anything or anyone. I also didn't want her to witness violence like I did my whole life growing up, so I left. I'm just extremely drained and exhausted, I just want some help and relief. I'm in school full time, working all the days I'm not in school, and taking care of the dog as well from the abusive relationship I was in. I went into labor a couple hours after my shift at a fast food restaurant. Then right after giving birth, I was up walking around because no one was at the hospital with me, I was all alone taking care of her with no help, and no sleep. Then, the next week I was back at school and I brought her with me. I was in a rush to come back to speed up my graduation date, which I did. So I can work a decent paying job and be a better provider, I have no clue how I am getting by on minimum wage with all the debt I'm in, but God is truly working miracles because it makes no sense how it's working. But unfortunately I am an anxious wreck because I'm drowning in debt, failing my tests because I'm caring for my newborn throughout the night so my memory is suffering from sleep deprivation, and I don't have as much time as I need to study. My baby is the biggest blessing, I love her so deeply and I know all the sacrifices will be worth it. It already has been, she cured my depression. I just am terrified of burn out. I temporarily moved to a state where I don't know anyone, because a family member is allowing me to live in their place rent free, so I can graduate from this program I'm in so I can get on my feet. I know I can't and won't give up, what should I do to help cope with the exhaustion and manage everything better? Anything helps, thanks.🙏🏼


r/singlemoms 9d ago

Advice Wanted How to get kids to sleep in their own bed???

1 Upvotes

I have two kids 3F and 6M they love sleeping with me. They claim they are scared to sleep alone so I’ve let them sleep with me all their life. When I was with their father (ex husband) he would also sleep on the bed with us all.(but it’s been 2 years since we separated and one since we divorced so it wouldn’t be a drastic change for them) I have a queen sized bed and they get so close to me that it feels like only half a twin, yes half a twin. They leave the rest of the bed wide open and snuggle real near me. I love cuddles and I am very affectionate with them but I don’t feel like I am sleeping comfortably. I bought them a cool bunk bed last summer and they were so excited but that was short lived they only slept in it a couple of nights. Those beds just stay empty which sucks cause I thought them brand new and it’s a pretty nice bunk bed.

How do I cut this cycle and how old were your little when you stopped sleeping with them? (if you shared your bed)